


A Great Catch

by Jillian



Category: Down with Love (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-05
Updated: 2011-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-14 10:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 203,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/148434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jillian/pseuds/Jillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Today was her first day at her new job and Jenna Taylor was so nervous this morning, she could not even eat. She woke up an hour before her alarm was to go off and could not catch her sleep anymore. The reason? She got a job at a new magazine called _Now_ and she would be working for the renowned Barbara Novak, author of the bestseller “Down With Love”. Even though she was starting at the bottom, she felt so proud to be working for the one person who turned the entire world up side down with her book. She had read it secretly at night, when her parents thought she was sleeping.

Even though she was 26 years old, she still lived at home. Her family was very traditional and didn’t believe in moving out until their children were married. When Jenna announced she was moving out to start a career of her own, her parents did not speak to her for an entire week, hoping that that would be enough to get that dumb idea out of her head. Unfortunately, this time Jenna’s mind was made up and she was determined to follow her dreams. Until she had read the book, she always followed her parent’s wants and wishes. She had never even dated a boy, because her parents thought it inappropriate and she would have waited until her parents would have found “the right one” if she had not read Barbara’s book. She did not agree with everything written, she DID believe that true love was out there, that there was someone out there waiting for her, her so called “man of her dreams”, but it did give her the courage she needed to break free and start a life of her own in the way she wanted to and not dictated by her parents.

A week after she had made her decision to move out, she found an add in the paper telling her that a new magazine, run by Barbara Novak, was hiring people for all sorts of jobs. From secretaries to journalists, from cleaners to copyboys. This was it, this was her big break. She just knew that one of these jobs would be hers. Confidant of the outcome and her newfound goal in life, she got a pen and piece of paper immediately and wrote a letter.

 _I can’t believe I am doing this, I am doing this aren’t I? I am starting a whole new life and that life needs a job too. A great job, I am sure of it._

And even if she didn’t get the job and thus didn’t get to work for her icon, it still gave her enough spirit to go for it and reach for her goal; independence! A few days later, she saw the postman approach the house and she ran for it, she didn’t want to take a chance of someone else reaching the mail before her and maybe hiding the letter that could change her life. And she was glad she did so, because the letter she had been waiting for was there, a reply stating that Barbara personally would like to see her for an interview that next day.

 _Gosh, I can’t believe it, she wants to see me. But what do I wear? I hadn’t even thought of that. If I want to be hired, I need to have something decent to wear. Maybe that dress that I wore to auntie Marie’s funeral? It’s brown, I hope that will do._

That was the only “dressy” dress she owned. She was going to buy a whole new wardrobe with her first pay check, but she forgot that IF she got hired, that it would take at least a week before that one would arrive.  
That next morning she left for New York and two hours later she parked her car outside the immense building that housed the future magazine Now. She was so happy that one of her brothers lend her the car. He was the youngest of the bunch and the only one who understood her need to break free. Her other brothers (6 of them) did not understand this need and since she was the only girl of the bunch, she knew why; they were only protecting her. She did appreciate it, but secretly also wished they could see things from her point of view. 4 of her 7 brothers were already married and even had children of their own now, which, much to Jenna’s concern, were raised the way she and her brothers were raised. She just did not understand why her entire family did not want to see that the world was changing. She loved her family dearly, her parents, her brothers and all of her nieces and nephews, who she babysat regularly. But the need to break free was eating inside.

 _Is this what Barbara felt like when she first arrived in New York for her book? She thought as she got out of the car and stepped onto the curb._

The interview went well and she could not believe how nice Barbara was and that SHE was nervous as well. She told her not to worry about her outfit when she noticed Jenna twitching it and trying to hide it behind her coat. “Just read my opening article and you will understand” she said. _I wonder what she meant by that_. 1 hour later she got the best news of her life (well… so far) she was hired immediately. She would be in charge of incoming and outgoing mail as well as internal. For now she would be on her own until they were certain that the magazine would be a success. Because Ms. Novak wanted the first few issues out as soon as possible, she wanted her new staff to start per direct.

Since she did not have any other proper outfits for a job at such a big organisation, she knew she needed something new. Luckily her mother made her learn to sow (and cook and clean and anything else a “proper housewife should know” too) and so she turned some old rags into something that she hoped looked a bit representative.

 _I just hope that everyone else will think so too, no matter what ms. Novak said. I do not want to look like I come from under a rock and oblivious to the world._

And so here she was, outside the building again, parking her pick-up in front of the building to start her very first day on her very first job in her new life. After work she would go apartment hunting so she could also move out as soon as possible. Her parents were not making this easy on her. They were still hardly talking to her and they refused to make any form of breakfast for her that morning. If she did not have her own alarm clock, she was almost certain that they would not have woken her up as well. Her father had not greeted her that morning and went straight to work. Her mother did kiss her goodbye but did not say anything. During the 2-hour ride to the big city she knew she was making the right decision and that in due time her parents would understand as well. If only they supported her a bit more _now_.


	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 1**

As the lift doors opened to the floor that held Now-magazine, Jenna stepped into the huge bright hall. The walls were painted white with pink and baby-blue. They matched the many pink and baby-blue desks which belonged to the secretaries and administrative workers. On the walls hung big posters with what looked like the cover of the future 1st issue. It showed two pictures of 2 very different looking women. One was Barbara Novak herself, but that other woman was unknown to Jenna. It was of a woman that she could have run into down the streets of New York, nothing special really, just another secretary she thought. She wore a boring brown office suit, she had brown hair, tied to the back and wore glasses. The woman’s eyes looked sad but determined for some weird reason.

 _Wow, they put up posters now. Who is that woman next to Ms. Novak? She looks a bit like Ms. Novak herself. Might be her sister. Hmmm, who is Nancy Brown? I guess I’ll find out as soon as the issue is out, hopefully that will be soon._

To the right was the reception desk with behind it a woman in her 50s with brownish hair and gray streaks. Behind all the desks in the back of the office hall were the two large brown doors behind which she knew Barbara’s office was. She had had her interview behind those walls.

“Welcome to Now Magazine, how may I help you miss?” The lady behind the reception desk welcomed her with a friendly and croaky voice, probably from smoking all her life. Funny was that she also sounded very nervous? And she wore a similar brownish outfit that reminded her a lot of her own one. The woman had a proud twinkle in her eyes though, probably similar to her own one.   
“Hello, I am Jenna Taylor and I start working here today in the mail-department” Jenna answered just as nervous.   
“You are not the only new one today, dear. So am I and all the others you see around you” the lady replied kindly. She then introduced herself as Mary Litzer. “I will tell Ms. Novak you are here, dear. Just sit down there and she will come to get you shortly”. She said as she walked towards those big brown double doors.

 _I still can’t believe I am here. HERE, in Barbara’s office, waiting for Barbara to tell me where to start WORKING! I have actually gotten myself a job! And it does not involve cars, engines, carburettors or cilinderheads. Finally no more dirty fingers or smelling like oil and grease. No longer will my face look like I live in an exhaust pipe. Maybe I will even buy some make-up, but that will have to wait until I have my own place._

That was another good reason for Jenna to take on this job, she thought. Her father made her work in his garage ever since she was little, just like he made his sons do. She did not mind working there, but it did not exactly make her feel like a woman. If she did not have the curves of one, no one would have guessed she really was a woman. She usually hid her hair underneath a cap so most of it would not get too dirty (not that that ever worked), so that did also not leave a lot of clues. She loved it when Peggy-Sue could not run the office for a day. That meant that she was the one to take care of the office instead of fixing cars. She got to answer the phone, accept new repair jobs and order supplies. If she knew about it before hand, she would dress up for it and even wear a skirt. But her father however did not like that too much. He knew men would also walk in the office when they paid for the repairs done and he did not want to give those men the idea that his daughter was up for grabs. He would rather have her sit there in her overall. That way she could also jump in quickly when needed.

Funny really, her father John sr. did not approve of women working. His wife Maggie was off course a housewife even though her secret wish was to start a little bakery of her own. Her wish would never be granted because of her old-fashioned husband. “A woman should stay home and take care of her family, her husband then should take care of her”. Her mother never disagreed, she was raised the same way her husband was and she was happy living that way. But she would never give up her dream.

As much as Jenna’s father disagreed to women working, he did not have a problem with his daughter working in his garage. He needed the hands that came along with her. She was a very good mechanic and because his shop was well known in the area he needed all the help he could get.

When Jenna heard footsteps coming her way, she looked up in the direction she heard them coming from and saw Ms. Novak coming her way.  
“Good morning Jenna, welcome to _Now!_ Please follow me to your new workplace.” She said and walked off quickly with Jenna on her heels. _I guess she will be doing this all day, greeting her new personnel._  
Just before the large entrance hall there was a corridor on the right with numerous doors on both sides. Just like the walls and desks, all doors were painted in pink and blue. Barbara stopped in front of the first door on the right entered the room. When Jenna followed she read MAILROOM on the pink door.

 _I have my own office…_

Barbara quickly explained what was expected from her and that a lot would probably change over the next following weeks when the first few issues would be released. Then Mary came for her again and told her that a few more new employees were waiting for her at the reception desk.

“So sorry I have to run out on you so quickly, but I want to welcome all my new employees” she said with a soft smile.

And with those words, Jenna was then left alone in her mailroom and looked around. There was actually already a little pile of mail waiting for her. She had a big desk, painted in baby-blue, to match the other desks. She did notice that her own desk was bigger than the normal one’s in the main hall, but that was probably because she would be needing that space. The floor was pink and the wooden mail-cupboards were white. She also had a window in front of her desk and she had a view of the other sky-scraper across the street. Not too interesting, but at least she had some view of the outside world. Most of her colleagues did not have a window in sight. The building across from her had a lot of windows and she could see into most offices.

 _Hihi, look at that guy with his coffee, I wonder when he will realise he’s already spilled most of it on his shirt? Even though I only have a building to look at, at least I can see the people inside it. This could be fun._

After 30 minutes of looking around in her office and locating everything, she sat down “in her own chair, behind her own desk, in her own office” and pulled the pile of letters towards her. For now she would open them and sort them in invoices, job applications and magazine subscriptions. Barbara had requested that for now, she would like to receive everything herself until she told her otherwise. After that she could distribute the mail to the correct departments. She noticed that among all the magazines that Barbara had subscribed the company to, she had also subscribed to Now-Magazine. Jenna did not know a lot about the Magazine, except that it was a well-read men’s magazine and she had heard some stories about one of the reporters called Catcher Block. Apparently he was this womaniser who was also gorgeous to look at, or so she was told. She had never actually seen a picture of him and thought that that statement was probably highly overrated.

After she had sorted all the mail she got up and searched for folders to put them in. Quickly she found them and of course they were in “company colours”; pink, white and baby blue.   
Jenna thought that every colour should have its purpose and chose the pink ones as “Barbara-mail” folders, the blue ones were for Finance, the whites for administration and she would ask Barbara if more colours could be ordered so she could also clearly mark all departments with their own colour. She took 3 folders and put the 3 sorted piles in them.

 _Well, I guess it’s time to show Ms. Novak that I am qualified for the job she offered. I think I did pretty well. Hopefully she will agree with me._

She took the folders and walked out of her office towards the big brown doors that belonged to Barbara’s office. But before she could knock, the door flew open and an overly exited Barbara Novak came out.

“They’re here everyone, they’re here. The first issue of Know-magazine is finally here. I will make sure that each and every one of you will get a copy.” And with these words she ran off towards the lifts.

Jenna decided to place the mail on Barbara’s desk anyway and then returned to her own office. Now that she had found those folders which she had not seen earlier, she put those in place. She did not write on them yet, because she had not had a chance to speak to Barbara about her idea yet. As soon as Barbara agreed, she would write the departments on them and eventually probably also the name of the person it was addressed to. While putting everything in a place she thought handy, in her head she was figuring out how to tell Barbara about her ideas. She almost did not notice someone walking in, but again Barbara was so excited about the first issue that she just burst in and told Jenna about the issue and that she was happy to hand every employee a copy, she then continued that she would be happy to hear feedback, even if it is negative. Just as quickly as she came in, she left again, leaving Jenna with the first issue of “her” magazine.

 _There is that name again, who is Nancy Brown? Well, I guess that will just have to wait until lunch break. I have enough work here to just sit around and not do anything._

For the rest of the day she busied herself with making her office her own. During her lunch break she finally found out about the mysterious Nancy Brown. She could not believe what she had read. Barbara Novak is Nancy Brown? Her entire confession about her love for one man and her plan to make him love her was in the article. And again that Catcher Block was mentioned.  
 _That man really must be something then, if he even had Ms. Novak head over heals for him. Or it Ms. Brown now? Poor Ms. Novak, is love really all that complicated? Look at what she did to make him fall for her. She’s definitely one smart lady. I am proud to be working for her._

Just after lunch she had told Barbara … Nancy about her ideas and she was very exited about her them and promised Jenna to order everything she had asked for. At the end of the day she had everything in place and closed her office and left for home.  
In the car she could not stop beaming with pride. She was so proud of her job and that she had already achieved so much by even just applying for that job. Even when she got home and no one asked her about her first day, her face did not falter. She happily helped with preparing dinner with her mother and afterwards she didn’t bother complaining about doing the dishes. In fact, she even offered to do it all on her own, something her youngest brother Joe welcomed with open arms. Her twin brother Jim didn’t like it one bit though. He did not mind her doing the dishes, but he didn’t like that smile on her face. He didn’t like it one bit that his sister was pursuing a career instead of helping dad out until she got married and become a housewife “like she should”.

Sometimes Jenna really could not believe that she and Jim were twins. They were really nothing alike. If their mother had not given a homebirth, she could have sworn there would have had to have been a mix up in the hospital. From the outside they did look a lot alike. They had a typical “Taylor-face”, but on the inside she could not find one similarity. She thought of the future as a challenge, but her brother on the other hand was an old-fashioned preserved “grandpa” as she liked to call him. His views on life were the same as their father and they were even stronger than some of their brothers.  
She remembered her last birthday where he gave her an apron as a present. Later he told her it was not so much that he thought it was a nice gift, but it was something she “should think about”. When she asked him about it, she got a full lecture about how she should stop dreaming and start “putting her feet back on the ground”. That she should forget about a career and see that her future should be raising her children and support her future husband.

“Why do you keep hanging on to these images you see at the movies of women working? It is not real sis, believe me. At the agency I work for, there are no women. Unless you would count the cleaning lady”.   
And that was when Jenna really lost it. “Unless you count the cleaning lady? Why wouldn’t you count the cleaning lady? Is she not a woman too? A _working_ woman? A woman who earns a living by cleaning up your mess! God knows no one else would do it, if it wouldn’t be for her. I do not believe you Jim. How could you think so preserved? Why is it so bad for a woman to want a career? To want a degree? To want a life outside the kitchen? I do not see what is so wrong with the tables turned. Why couldn’t a man take care of the house and the children and the woman earn the living?”  
“Oh please, a man do all the housework? A sort of ‘house-man’? Don’t make me laugh sis, this is ridiculous. You know what? Why don’t YOU explain why a woman should have a career and, god forbid, have a job like mine”  
“’A job like yours’? I cannot believe I am actually starting this conversation with you. I’ll explain it to you in a rhetorical question. Yes I know ‘long words’ too and I also know what they mean, hopefully it is not too shocking. “Why SHOULDN’T a woman have a career and, hopefully, have a job BETTER than yours? A woman is not some incapable nitwit who only knows how to mash her potatoes and only knows what a newspaper looks like just because her husband reads it. I have news for you; I read the paper too and I have for a long time. A woman can be just as qualified for the same job you have. A woman is just as smart as a man, so why shouldn’t she use her brain and work in an office?”   
“Listen, I am not saying that I will never get married or anything.” Jenna continued, still frustrated and angry, but her voice had lowered now, she wasn’t shouting anymore. “Of course I will one day and I also do really want to have a family one day. I just do not want it just yet, I know there is so much more out there for me and I also know that I can do more with my brain than just help out dad and after I get married just mash those potatoes and feed my children, I can do so much more. And once I do get married, I want my husband to know this too. I want him to acknowledge me for who I am and not for what I am.” Her face was still flushed with anger, but she did feel good about telling her brother this. He just needed to realise that she wasn’t what he would expect of a woman. In turn, Jim had the same red colour staining his cheeks, but mainly because he couldn’t believe his sister just told him what she did. He still believed that a woman’s place was at home and he would never change that, but he also knew that if he would get into it again, she would have another 20 comments coming his way and he wasn’t in the mood for that right now, so he did the thing he always did when he knew he couldn’t win an argument; he walked off, leaving his sister with a big smile on her face.

After Jenna had finished the dishes, she joined her family in the family room, but her day was not discussed. All her family talked about was how busy it was at the garage and how they really needed an extra hand.

 _Why are they doing this to me? Why are they trying to make me feel guilty? Why can’t they just be happy for me? At least now I am making money, I wasn’t doing that when I worked at the garage. I am going to pay them boarding until I leave home and they know that._

She looked across the room and at her mother who was desperately trying not to look at Jenna. Her cheeks bright red with embarrassment, knowing that she should say something to defend her daughter but she was too scared to.

 _I guess it would be for the best if I just turn in now, let them talk all they want to. Hopefully they will turn around in a few days. If only I could get in touch with Stacey now, but that could only happen if they had a telephone and us too. I couldn’t believe all those telephones I saw at the office. I couldn’t believe that so many colleagues have one at home too. We still only have the telephone at the garage. Maybe if I save up enough money, I might be able to afford one too one day. I guess I will have to try to go over to see her tomorrow evening then. I really need to talk to someone or else I will go crazy._

With those thoughts she said her goodnights and left the room. On her way to her room, she ran into her brother Joe, who just got out of the bathtub.

“’Night Joey”  
“Off to bed already, sis? How was work today? I haven’t really had a chance to ask you, have I? And I know that everyone else has not asked you about it. Did you enjoy it? How are your colleagues?”  
“Thank you” she almost whispered and then she burst out “it was fantastic. I have my own office and when I told NANCY about some ideas I had to improve it, she got all exited and told me that they were great ideas and she would order the needed supplies immediately.”  
“Hang on, hang on, who is Nancy?”  
“ _Nancy_ is actually Barbara Novak. I have the first issue of our magazine in my room and in it she explains everything. If you are interested, you are more than welcome to read it”  
They stood in the hallway for over an hour talking about Jenna’s first day and the Nancy/Barbara story. After that Jenna really had to turn in as she had an early morning again.

 _I really have to start apartment hunting tomorrow, or else I will never get one. Hopefully I will not be so exhausted tomorrow. If I’m lucky I might have an apartment next month. I don’t care about all the furniture yet, as long as I have my own place. I don’t think that the money saved by mom and dad for my wedding and house will be made available for my “bachelor pad”, so I will have to do that all on my own. But that’s okay, then at least it will be really mine! I really cannot wait for my first pay check, hihi._


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 2**

That next morning Jenna woke up just as exited as the day before, except this time her nausea was gone. She had nothing to be nervous about anymore, so there was no need for that. She jumped out of bed and got ready quickly. When she came downstairs she found that most of her family had already had breakfast without her, but her mother did leave her a few sandwiches this time. She knew her mother had done that without anyone else knowing. Not that she would have gotten in trouble or anything, but because she didn’t want to cause an argument. Jenna’s job was still a big no-no in the family and until “Jenna would come to her senses” the family would not talk about it OR accept it, just like this morning.

After breakfast, she got the keys to the pick-up and closed the door. She knew her brother Joe had made sure they were there that morning. She really loved her little brother. She drove towards the freeway and turned on the radio and searched for the station she loved. Of course her father would not approve of her choice, so she switched back as soon as she would get home. She also did this to the radio in her bedroom. Even though the nation had finally accepted Elvis, her father sure still hadn’t.

 _Don’t forget to go apartment hunting after work. Maybe also look for a small cheap car. I know they will never let me keep the pick-up as soon as I move out. I will probably not even need the car for the city, but I do want to visit home and my pay check will probably not be enough for taxi-fairs homewards. Maybe a Beetle or something, they are reliable and easy to fix if something is wrong. That engine is a piece of cake. They are also not too expensive. As soon as I know about an apartment I have to start looking for furniture too. Would there be any cheap shops in New York? I know about this second hand shop near home, but that is all so outdated. I don’t want people to think I do not belong in New York. Maybe some of my colleagues know some areas._

During her drive to work she thought about all the other things she needed for her future apartment. The closer she got to New York, the more exited she became about going back to work however. She knew that it would probably be a matter of time before that would change, but that would still take a while. Probably a little while after she would have moved to New York the routine would seep in soon enough and the fun of going to work would soon after disappear. But for now, as long as she enjoyed it all, she would take the most out of it.

After parking the car and taking the lift up to her floor, she found that the mail had already been delivered. Today the pile was already bigger than the day before.

 _Wow! I wonder what will happen when the magazine is actually on sale. I will have a full day’s work just handling the mail, not doing anything else._

“Jenna? It’s Jenna right? Hi, I’m Vicky Hiller, co-owner of this _wonderful_ magazine”. And so she met Nancy’s over-excited friend. “Nancy asked me if I would review all job applications first, so when you have finished sorting that huge pile on your desk, could you hand those to me? Thanks so much”. And with the same whirlwind Vicky came in, she left again.

 _What just happened? I think someone entered my mailroom, but it went so fast I’m not sure anymore, hihi. I guess I’ll get started then._

She sat behind her desk and went about her work, softly humming to some tune she had heard on the radio earlier that morning. She quickly worked through the big pile and decided to sort the job applications first, so that Vicky needn’t wait long for them.

 _It’s a petty I do not have those folders yet. Ms. Hiller really is a “yellow”-person. As soon as I have them, the yellow ones will be hers. For now I think a white one will do._

After delivering the folder with all job applications, she returned to her desk and started going through the rest of her pile of mail, still humming tunes that she loved. About one hour later she found one more job application underneath a large package.  
“Oh no, how did that one get there? Oh no, how am I going to explain this to Ms. Hiller?”

She took the letter and ran out of her office, ignoring the sound of an announcing lift. After knocking on Vicky’s door, she stormed in her office to give her the missing letter. Embarrassed she tried to explain what happened, but was interrupted by a chuckling Vicky.

“Don’t worry about it, it was not your fault. I haven’t even sorted through the entire pile yet, so I will just put this one in the pile I still have to go throu…

“Miss Hiller?” A voice sounded through the intercom. “I have someone here who is applying for the job, I think you might want to speak to him personally”

“Ugh” … “Thank you, you can send him in after Jenna has left my office” Vicky replied. “Sorry about that. Now … where was I? Oh yes, right … Like I said, do not worry about it. I still have so many applications to go through that one more would not even be missed. Well, I guess I have to answer to this gentleman apparently, would you please send him in? Thank you so much.”

Jenna made her way out of the office and when she opened the door she was greeted with a sight that stole her breath away.

In front of her stood a man more beautiful than she ever could have imagined possible. He was tall of stature, his eyes were as grey as the sky on a rainy day and his smile could sell living rats to a restaurant. His shoulders weren’t too broad but they filled his suit perfectly and, oh my, did he look good in that suit. Jenna could also tell it was tailored and not just some simple cheap suit like her father and brothers own for funerals.

Jenna just stood there, her feet felt like they were nailed to the floor. She couldn’t have moved if her life depended on it. All she was capable of was looking at this amazing creature standing only a few feet away from her.

Jenna could see his lips move, but did not hear a sound. She knew he was talking to her, but the words did not reach her ears. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart and all she could think was how badly she wanted to kiss those lips, over and over, until … no, not until, she just wouldn’t stop, she would just kiss him forever.

 _Hang on. Where did that come from?_

“Are you alright?” Just when Jenna thought things could not turn any better, this man’s words finally reach her ears and her knees finally decided to give in.

“Oh my goodness, you are not alright” The man answered her in a thick Scottish accent, as he rushed over to Jenna, who now sat ungraciously on the floor. Her cheeks flushed crimson.

“I … I’m fi … I’m fine. R-really, I’m fine … thank you …” … “Ms. Hiller will s-see you in her office now”

 _What on earth is wrong with me? Why can’t I finish a sentence properly? Why won’t my knees stop shaking? Why is my heart pounding so loudly? Why DO I want to kiss him till the end of time? Who IS this man? This is ridiculous. I never knew someone could be this beautiful. I never thought this could affect a woman this much._

“Jenna, are you okay, dear?” Mary Litzer came running up to Jenna, who, after the beautiful mystery man picked her up, sat in a chair, still bewildered from her near-collision. “Dear? Are you okay now? What just happened? Are you feeling okay? You went from white as a sheet to beet red in under a second.”  
“I … I don’t know … really. I don’t know.”  
“Catcher Block can do that to a woman” Sally, Vicky’s assistant said. “Happened to me too, hihi.”  
“Catcher Block? Was _that_ Catcher Block?” Jenna asked.  
“Didn’t you know? I thought everyone knew who Catcher Block was.” Sally replied her again.  
“Well, I knew his name and I knew about him, but I’ve never seen pictures or anything. I was actually wondering what all the fuss was about. I guess now I know, right? But don’t worry about me, I’m fine now. Really, I am. Maybe I didn’t have enough for breakfast this morning, huh?”

Jenna quickly made her way through the growing crowd of mainly women, back to her mail-office. Her knees were still shaking and her mind was a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. She did not understand why she felt so strongly for this man she did not know, only his name and his connection to Nancy Brown.

 _Because_ her parents brought her up without having a chance to be introduced to boys _and_ never having been allowed to date, she never knew what it might feel like to be in love. Or to feel attracted to someone. Thus she had no idea what was happening to her now. Don’t get me wrong, Jenna went to a mixed school, but they boys that went there just did not hold enough interest for her to feel something. Sometimes Jenna really thought that something had to be wrong with her for that exact reason, thinking about those women she once read about who didn’t love men, but that couldn’t be, could it? Other times she feared that her parents had brainwashed her so much that she wasn’t interested anymore. Whatever it was, it’d had her frustrated for many years now and now that she finally was picking up her life on her own, she was thrown right back again, not understanding anything.

Maybe, she thought, _because_ her feelings for freedom and equality were so strong, she never noticed the guys at school _because_ she knew they were all just like her brother and thus not interesting. But then the question rose again; _why on earth_ did her knees start to shake for this man now? He could be just like all the other boys from her high school for all she knew. Yet still, her heartbeat had still not returned to normal.

“Jenna? Ah, there you are. Are you okay? You look pale.”  
“Yes, Ms. Brown, I’m fine, don’t worry about me” Jenna replied quickly.   
Nancy had walked in while Jenna was still deep in thoughts.

 _At least I’m not blushing, so that should be good. I wouldn’t want to be caught like that, especially by Ms. Brown_

“Didn’t I tell you yesterday to call me Nancy, god it feels good to use that name again. Or Barbara if you’d rather use that name. Anyway, I don’t know if you have spoken to Vicky Hiller yet, but she will handle all job applications for a while, so you can hand her all those letters” Nancy replied, looking at the desk and disappointedly noticed that there wasn’t as much mail as she had hoped for. The envelopes that were there looked more like bills and other kinds of letters.  
“Yes, I have met Ms. Hiller and I have already brought her all the applications. There were so many this morning. I think about 20, at least.”  
Nancy’s face brightened up in a split second. “Really? That’s wonderful! The rest of the mail can still be brought to my office. I will be interviewing a lot of applicants today, but I would still like to see the mail. You can come to my office with it anytime. Just give me a knock, no problem.”

 _Why did my heart sting just now? Just because Ms. Brown walked in? She is so sweet to everyone. She is so lucky to have a man as beautiful as Mr. Block in love with her… My goodness, I must be losing it, why am I thinking of that man again? I’d better get my mind together soon._

But try as she might, her mind kept wondering back to those deep grey eyes and that million watt smile. After a while she finally got through her left over pile of mail and made her way out of her office towards Nancy’s office. Fait however had other plans and just as she walked out of that office she noticed those grey pools again, this time accompanied by a more nervous smile however. Apparently he had also spoken to Nancy after she had last seen him, because she saw him close the door to Nancy’s office.

He was walking towards the lifts and just like before, Jenna’s feet were glued to the floor and all she could do was watch him. As he approached the lift he turned around as if he was looking for something or someone. When he realised that whatever he was looking for was not there, the little smile that was still there somewhere disappeared entirely and the emptiest look Jenna had ever seen was replaced on his face instead.

 _Oh my goodness, he looks so sad. What could possibly have happened in this short time that his face has changed from radiant to depressed in one blink of an eye? Even while he looks like life has left him, he is still so beautiful. What I wouldn’t give to make him smile again. Aaaarghhh, stop it Jen, seriously, you are being ridiculous. What on earth is the matter with you?_

As Catcher stood in front of the lift, waiting for it to arrive, the office filled with people watching him. Everyone knew Nancy must have blown him off, or else he wouldn’t look so bad. The lift doors opened and out comes _Nancy Brown_? And she’s got _red hair_?? Worst of all, she closes Catcher in her arms and kisses his lips passionately while the doors to the lift close again.

 _See, stop this stupidity. He is in love with Ms. Brown and you do not have time for a man anyway. You have an apartment to find and furniture to buy and not to forget a new life to start. Once you are settled and everything then you can go and find yourself someone to love. Just get over it. Nothing to see there, he’s taken and probably not even interested in someone like you._

 _God, I am such a sad case, aren’t I?_

The rest of the day was filled with colleagues running into her office and telling her what the latest gossip was. Unfortunately she desperately did not want to know anything about it, but since she did not want anyone to know how she really felt about the man she only had the pleasure of seeing 2 minutes, she played along and pretended to be interested and very happy for the happy couple. Until the end of the day….

“Jenna, Jenna, guess what I heard _now_! Bill from accounting heard from Lisa from upstairs that one of her colleagues spoke to someone at that chopper company that Catcher always uses that Catcher apparently ordered a chopper to fly them to Vegas to get married! Isn’t that the greatest?”


	4. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 3**

 _Married? Did she really say MARRIED? I think I really need to sit down now. What is the matter with me? I just met the man for Christ’s sake. I’ve only seen him for 2 minutes and now I feel like my world is falling apart?_

“Married? You’re kidding! That is marvellous. I am so happy for Ms. Brown.” _I hope that sounded sincere._  
“I bet she will have Mr. Block take care of their children, while she takes care of her magazine, hihi. Don’t you think?” _I bet his children will be gorgeous and mix Ms. Brown in, then your eyes will probably hurt of beauty._

“I wouldn’t be surprised” Sally replied her again. “Well, I’m going to clear my desk now, tomorrow’s another day right? I don’t think we will see Nancy in here again this week, huh?”

“I guess not. I will see you tomorrow then. Bye”. Jenna couldn’t help the pain she actually felt in her heart at the thought of Catcher being married. _Jenna, chin up, you’ve got an apartment to find, remember?_

And find one, she did.

The apartment wasn’t big, not at all. But that did not matter to Jenna. She had one and that was all she wanted. It was a 2-room apartment with a small walk-in kitchen and tiny bathroom.

 _I am going to soak in that bath every Saturday and stay in it until my skin looks like a prune. I will finally not have to care about other people wanting to use the bathroom._

She did have a great view of the city when she looked out the window. She was 17th floor of a 25-story apartment building, so when trying to watch the people on the street would make it a bit harder, she still had a lot of sky in view. After viewing her new home, she signed the lease and in 3 weeks time she would receive the key.

On her way home, she was overjoyed about her apartment. Every thought of Catcher Block or his eyes completely forgotten. All she could think about was how she was going to decorate her house, which colours to use, how big her bed would be and what kind of couch she wanted. When she arrived in her neighbourhood she saw a small ball of fur in the corner of her eye.

“Goodness, the little creature needs help”

Jenna got out of her car and made her way to the little furry animal. When she got to it, she found that underneath the fur was a little kitten. Abandoned at the side of the road and crying for help.

“Oh sweetie, what happened to you? You are beautiful, little one. Why don’t you come home with me and I’ll give you some milk, huh? Would you like that? I bet you do. Come here to me. Oh, you are shaking. Come on, you are coming with me. Dad will kill me once he sees you, but we will work it out, I promise.”

Jenna parked the pick-up on the driveway and raced into the garage to put the kitten in a box. After entering the house, Jenna pretended to have forgotten something in her car, so she could sneak out to the kitten again to feed the little one some milk. When Jenna was satisfied that the little kitten was settled, she went back into the house. No one noticed her absence of course, why would they. They had had dinner without waiting for her to come home too.

 _3 more weeks, Jen. Just remember, only 3 more weeks to go and then you will not have to deal with this anymore. Then you are on your own and you can do as you please without them bothering you. Or, as they apparently think; you bothering them. At least they did leave me some leftovers. I hope Joey is home, I know he will be interested in my new apartment. I can’t wait to tell him about it. Maybe he will even help me move out. Gosh, I wonder how long everyone will keep this silence treatment up. It really is not funny anymore._

Later that evening, Jenna snuck out two more times to see how the little kitten was doing. She snuggled the little one for a few minutes every time and then made her way back into the house. Once inside her family pretended that nothing was wrong, just like the night before. And just like last night they talked about how busy things were at the garage, trying to make Jenna feel even more guilty. Every time they knew they would succeed, but it also made Jenna more and more determined to realise her own ideals.

Unfortunately Jenna never got a chance to speak to her brother that night or the next few nights. Joey knew something was up and that his sister desperately needed to talk to him, but both nights other things came up, meaning his talk with his sister just had to wait.

When Jenna arrived at work the following morning she was immediately reminded of that grey-eyed man that she so desperately tried to forget about the night before and to which she pretty much had succeeded. Even her dreams were Catcher-less. After about 30 minutes after she arrived, the entire staff was called together and Ms. Vicky Hiller officially announced the wedding of Mr. Block and Ms. Brow … Mrs. Block.

 _I really want to go home now. I wish this wouldn’t affect me so much._

The hours passed by so slowly that day. Jenna still enjoyed her work. Now that Vicky was in charge until Nancy had returned, Jenna also spoke to her about her new ideas and about how Nancy has already ordered her requests. Vicky was just as enthusiast as Nancy had been when Jenna first told her about her ideas. Again she was told that in case of more ideas, the door to Vicky’s office would always be open.

After work, Jenna knew she had to go shop for furniture first. If she didn’t, she knew she would live in an empty apartment for a while and that was definitely not the way Jenna imagined her moving into her first apartment.

The following days were pretty much the same as her first 2 days at work. Her brother Joey would make sure that the key to the pick-up would be secured, her breakfast would be made, but she had to eat it alone. At work everyone still only talked about the wedding. After work she would go shopping for furniture and at nights her family would play the guilt-card in between her secret visits to the garage to check up on her little kitten. The kitten was regaining strength and becoming more playful. Sometimes Jenna wondered how her family still had not found out about the little rascal yet. Her family had found out about her apartment by this time, even asking questions about it. Unfortunately none of them had so far offered to help her move into it once she had the key.

That Friday night Jenna finally had a chance to talk to her baby brother. She knew he was in his room because the light was on. She knocked on his door and apparently he had been expecting her.  
“Come in, Sis”  
“How did you know it was me?”  
“Easy sis, you always knock that way, plus I know you have been dying to tell me about that new apartment for days now. That is why I did not go anywhere tonight. So tell me, is it big? Do you have a great view? Can I stay over often?”  
“Hold on brother, not so fast, hihi. Ehmm … no, yes and of course you can.”

They talked and talked about Jenna’s new apartment and how she could decorate it. She told about the furniture she bought, about the view which she loved, about how she loved it being on the 17th floor. They also talked about the little stowaway in the garage. Jenna had already decided she was going to keep the little munchkin and take it with her when she would move in to her apartment. But Joey also sensed something else; something was bothering his dear sister, something she was neglecting to tell him. That kind of hurt a bit, since she always told him everything. Even the things she told her best friend in confidence.

“Come on sis, spill it. What is bothering you? I can see it in your eyes.” He finally decided to just ask.  
“What do you mean? Nothing is bothering me.” She replied a little too quickly.  
“Yes there is and you have never hidden anything from me before so why now?”

 _God, I hate it that he knows me so well. He has always been so perceptive of me._

“See, that’s the thing, I _don’t_ know what is wrong with me, _that’s_ what’s wrong. My head has been in a mess for almost a week now and I do not know what to do about it. I wish you could help me with this little brother, but I’m afraid that this time I’m on my own in this.”  
“But if you will not tell me about it, then how do you know that I can’t help you? Try me!”

And so she ended up telling him about her almost-collision with Catcher Block, about how she could not get that out of her mind (she neglected to tell him he was gorgeous though. She did not want him to know _that_!)

“Is that all? Dear sissie, I told you, you could tell me about it and I would know how to solve this, didn’t I? Tell me, what colour were this man’s eyes?”

 _What on earth does that have to do with anything?_

“What on earth does that have to do with anything?” She voiced her thoughts.  
“Just answer the question, I will explain later”  
“They were grey, now explain”  
“What else did he look like?”

 _Where is he going to? Why would he want to know that? He must have lost his mind this time._

“Well, he was tall, had dark brown hair, his eyes, like I told you were a deep-grey, he wore a tailored suit and spoke with a Scottish accent. Now will you explain what that has to do with my feeling weird?”  
“And how long were you in this man’s presence?”

 _Ahhh, come on little brother, get to the point._

“2 to 3 minutes. WHY?”  
“You were only in his presence for about 3 minutes, yet you can remember everything about this man. You really do not understand where I’m going to, do you?”  
“No, and I wish you would get on with this, cause it’s really not very funny anymore”  
“Don’t you see, sis? You are having your very first crush on a man. It’s about time too, you are 26, most women are already married by your age.”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are! And deep down, you know it, too. I know you will probably deny this for a little while longer, but in the end you will realise it’s the truth. But, why is it so bad to be in love with someone? It’s not the end of the world, you know? Why don’t you go and ask him out? I know you have read Barbara Novak’s book, hell, I even know where you keep the darn thing. Then you know that a woman can ask a man out too. And if he’s not the man you want him to be, then apparently there is nothing wrong with a little ‘sex á la carte’. You are old enough for >em>that, too! … I cannot believe I just told my sister to have sex!”   
“First of all, neither can I. Second, I will not have sex, just to have sex. That is one part of the book I could not agree to 100%. I still do believe in true love and in ‘making love’ instead of ‘having sex’. The reason why I read her book was not to find out how to have ‘sex a la carte’, but how to learn to stand up for myself and how to make it in the working world. She also did give some great tips on how to _meet_ men, but that’s where it ends for me.”  
“And now to answer my statement … “ Joey knew his sister avoided answering about her being in love with someone, but he really did want her to see what she was denying.  
“Fine … No, I am not in love with that man. I don’t even know him and even if I did, I still would not be in love with him. I am not afraid of love, I just do not have time for it yet.”  
“That is rubbish and you know it. Everybody has time to be in love AND have a normal life next to it. See, being in love has nothing to do with having time for it, or with being abnormal for that matter. Love happens at a time when you least expect it and there is nothing you can do about it. The fact that you do not recognize it now, or that you are denying it, is because this is entirely new to you. Once you are not afraid of it anymore, you will open up to love and see that there is nothing wrong with being in love. AND you will see this Catcher-fellow in an even better light than the last week.”  
“Well thank you, Professor Joey, for those words of wisdom. And how come you think you know all this, huh? From all those girls you went out with? Have you ever ‘been in love’?”

“Yes, I have, as a matter of fact”

“ _Really_?” Jenna asked excitedly, yet on the other hand, she felt a sting, because they always shared _everything_ , yet he ‘forgot’ to mention this. “Who? And why have you never told me about this before?”  
Joe’s face flushed crimson and he got very nervous, trying to find the right words before trying to answering her.  
“Aaaaah, you still feel this way about her? So tell me, who is it? Tell me, you made me share, now it’s your turn.”  
“ah … ehm … hmm … well, see, it’s like this … “ But try as Joe might, he did not know how to tell her about his secret love. See, Jenna knew the girl well and he knew that as soon as he told her about this girl, Jenna would interfere and try to help and he did not want that, he wanted to do this all on his own. He knew she was the one. The only part that he thought made it harder for him was that there also was no way that he could find out through his sister if the girl in question liked him too.

“Please do not be mad at me sis, but would you mind if I kept this one to myself for just a little while longer? I will explain why as soon as I have sorted some things out, I promise.” It actually hurt him to tell his sister no, but he felt he just had no other choice, not right now anyway.

They talked for a while longer, carefully avoiding the subject they had been discussing earlier. Both had a lot to think about and they thought it safer not to talk about it for a while.

The next day, Jenna finally had time to visit her best friend Stacey. Stacey was as exited about Jenna’s apartment as Jenna was herself.

Jenna and Stacey met at kindergarten and they have been best friends ever since. They were so alike yet so different. That probably had to do with the difference in upbringing. While Jenna had a hard time growing up amongst a male family, Stacey’s family was much more liberal. She was allowed to date, listen to radio stations she wanted and not be looked down upon when she did something that her parents did not approve of. They talked to her about it, Stacey then, in return, had a chance to explain her actions and then she would either be punished accordingly (no dating for a month, for instance) or not. Jenna often envied her life. She loved going over to her and her family.

They talked and talked, about the new apartment. Stacey was, of course, going to help her as much as she could. She would stay over in weekends for as long as needed to finish the apartment. AND of course to spend as much time with her friend as she could. They both knew they would only be able to see each other in weekends when Jenna moved away. It was a too far drive for Jenna to visit her during weekdays and they both had jobs, so they could also not stay up too late. Thus they would meet up in weekends.

“Hey, maybe my brother can drop you off once in a while too. Then you won’t have to take the bus every time. He will probably spend a lot of time with me as well. That way you both will not have to travel alone and you save some money on bus fairs.”

 _Did Stace just blush?_

“S-sure, it would definitely save me some money. But wouldn’t you want to spend some time with him when he is there? I would understand, you know”  
“Stace, you know he understands our friendship. In fact HE would be the one interfering, haha. If you don’t want to, then you just have to say so. I love my brother dearly, but I understand if you wouldn’t want to see HIM too every time you come over.”  
“NO … ehm, sorry … no, that’s not a problem. He is a great friend to me too, remember? I will never forget how he saved me from those killer ducks all those years ago. “  
“Okay, that’s settled then”

“Jen?”  
“Stace…”  
“Spill it. It’s been bothering you ever since I saw you walk into the house. What is on your mind?”  
“You are the second person to ask me this and the second person to hear this answer; nothing.”  
“You are such a terrible liar, did you know that? Remember who you are talking to, I know when something is wrong and right now, something is definitely wrong and you are going to tell me right now”

And so, Jenna found herself telling the story of Catcher again. (And again conveniently leaving out how beautiful this man was)

“Yes, you are human after all. I am so happy for you.”  
“Okay, that even made less sense than Joey’s reaction to this story. Would you care to explain?”  
“Don’t tell me you really do not understand? You have got to be kidding me, if you don’t!”  
“Please, don’t you start with this love-mumbo-jumbo too, because that is just ridiculous.”  
“I knew your brother was a smart one. So, he told you the same thing, then? He is right and you know it. Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with being in love. Heck, I love feeling that way. Did your stomach do flip-flops? Did it feel like butterflies were flying around in your stomach? Was your head woozy? What happened to your knees?”  
“Stop it! You are supposed to agree with _me_ , tell me it is nothing and that I had probably not had enough for breakfast.”  
“So you _did_ feel all these things. Tell me about how you ended up on the floor again? Because I have a feeling that there is much more to it than you are telling me.”

True! Very true. Jenna only mentioned that “somehow she ended up on the floor”. Making it sound like she tripped over something. Why was she so reluctant to tell her that her knees gave in? Were Joey and Stacey right? She had had that butterfly feeling, her knees had felt like rubber and her head had spun like mad. Couldn’t all those things have meant that she had had a flu coming up? No, if that had been the case, she should have had it by now. That whole not-enough-for-breakfast-thing was also not true, because after lunch she still felt dizzy in her head and the mere thought of Catcher Block made her knees go all weak again.  
No, no, no. Right now was definitely not a good time to fall in love, if it was that anyway.

“Jen? Come back down to earth. Where are you? Answer my question?” Jenna vaguely heard Stacey say.  
“Huh? What?” _Did she ask me something?_  
“Is he really _that_ gorgeous? I have to meet that man. I asked you about the _true_ story of your fall. Now _tell me!_ ”   
“I told you already, I tripped. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. I tripped”

 _Yeah sure, Jen. Just keep telling yourself that, maybe if you say it often enough, it will become true. Why don’t I want to tell her about my knees giving in? What is wrong with me?_

“You know what, Jen? I will stop asking about this, you are clearly not even ready in your own head to admit it to yourself, let alone admit _anything_ to me. When you have sorted your head out, I will be there for you. You do know that right?”  
“I love you Stace. Thanks. I do have some things in my head that are bothering me, but I really need to sort that out myself, first. As soon as I have, you _know_ , I will come to you to tell you _all_ about it.”

And with that said, they returned to their former conversation; Jenna’s apartment. Unfortunately the talk of Catcher kept screaming in her head until her head was pounding. She knew she had to sort that out soon, or else she was afraid she would not function properly anymore.


	5. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 4**

The next few weeks were very busy ones for Jenna. She had to pack everything in her old house and decorate her new apartment. The day she got the key to her new home, she could not stop smiling. She was definitely the happiest person on earth that day. Unfortunately she had to wait 3 weeks until her new furniture arrived, but Jenna could not care about that. She just used that time to paint the walls and doors in her chosen colours.

Her parents were finally turning around a bit. Her father had even helped her a few times with painting. He still refused to agree with her choices, but at least he was trying to help his only daughter make it on her own. Her mother Maggie had returned to trying to fix her up with Carson Jackson who worked in the drugstore with his father. She thought that if she could set her daughter up with Carson, she might come to her senses. At least Carson had the same views as the Taylor-family did. Unfortunately Jenna was nowhere near interested in him.

His family were good friends with hers and thus they came over for coffee once in a while. When Maggie had told Carson’s mother Peggy about her idea to set them up 6 months ago, Peggy got all excited and they agreed to come and visit them that next Sunday. That Sunday Maggie sent the two to the kitchen to get some more coffee, that way Maggie could openly talk some more to Peggy about her ideas AND Jenna and Carson could get to know each other better. What Maggie did not know was that Carson already had his mind set on Jenna for a long time and now that he saw that both mothers were trying to set the two young ones up, he jumped to the chance and tried to kiss Jenna as soon as they entered the kitchen.

Jenna never was interested in Carson. She didn’t like the fact that he knew he was pretty (she didn’t think so, but at school every girl was in love with him). And after that kiss, she was not only not interested, but also hated the guy. Even when she tried to stop that kiss, he just kept trying, almost forcing her.

Now, over 6 months later, Carson was still trying to get Jenna to fall for him and his and Jenna’s mother were encouraging it. Jenna never had the heart to tell her mother what he was capable of, because she knew her mother would just not listen to that.

Her mother had brought Carson along when she came to “help her daughter” in the new apartment. Again, only 15 minutes after he had arrived, he tried to feel her up. This time, she got so tired of him that she actually threatened to tell people about his actions. He just shrugged and left the room, not caring about her feelings. Unfortunately he came back again 15 minutes later trying his luck all over again. Only this time letting her know that their families would not believe her if she decided to tell on him.

“Just STOP IT, will you? You are really getting on my nerves. I don’t want you to kiss me or touch me. Heck, if my mother hadn’t brought you here, I would not even want you in this house. Unfortunately you are here, so you might as well make yourself useful. Just return to painting all right?”  
“Really, you can shout all you want to, but your mother will be thrilled to see me kiss you. But I will let it lie … for now. I know it must be hard for a girl like you …’’

 _A_ girl _like me?_

“… to finally give in to a man like me…”

>em>Funny I’m _the girl here yet_ HE’S _the man._

“ … Yet you probably feel excited too. Knowing that I have chosen you instead of all the other girls who are more than willing to have me. I will give you your time and when you realise you are meant to be with me, I will be waiting for you.”  
“Hold on. You actually believe what you have just said? You really believe that I will end up being married to you? I am afraid to burst that bubble for you, but that is NEVER going to happen. See, thing is, I actually believe in _love_ , not arranged marriages. And why on earth should I feel so lucky to have been the chosen one? IF, and I say IF I would ever fall for your trap, would you even realise that I will not give up my career? I love my job and I plan to do this for a long time. If you want kids, you can take care of that all by yourself, because this _girl_ is a working one who does not have the time right now to take care of that.”  
“I love a girl with humour.” Carson replied laughing heartily “Listen, you are just scared. In time you will realise that I am right. Like I said before, I will wait as long as needed and when that time comes I will happily open my arms and my house for you.”  
“GET OUT!”

He left her, laughing and with a sly (yet he probably would have called it seducing) wink. Her mother did come in later and asked her what was wrong, but Jenna decided not to go into it. She would not win anyway.

That evening Jenna lay in bed thinking about that day; about Carson, her family, her mother in particular even Catcher Block.

 _I wish mother would stop trying to set me up with that Carson creep. I understand she wants to look out for me and see me settled, but I wish she would see that I want to find someone for myself and that my career comes first for now. If only she had had the same chance as I am taking right now, maybe she would have understood me better and let ME choose my own course. I understand why she chose Carson, he is handsome, he has a good reputation to the outside world and has a good and steady job. If he would not try to jump me all the time, I might even have considered going out with him sometime, if only to please my mother._

 _If only he was a bit more like Catcher Block … hang on, where did that come from … it’s true Jen, let’s face it, what you have seen of him so far; he is kind, attentive and darn cute. So far the only thing Carson has in common is that he is cute too, but nowhere near as cute as Catcher though. Stop it, Jen. Get that man out of your head, now! He is married, remember…. Married …. He is not for you to look at and dream of._

Jenna pondered for the rest of the night. Trying to find out about how she really felt about Catcher Block. Deep down she knew, but she did not want to admit the truth. It worried her that she still thought about him even though he was married. But try as she might, she could not get those grey eyes out of her mind. Finally after what seemed like hours, she finally fell into a restless sleep.

That next morning, exactly one month after she had received her key to her new apartment, she finally moved in. The furniture would be delivered in a few days and all the walls had been painted, windows were cleaned and the carpets were also done. She had chosen bright colours for her house. Pink, baby blue and soft yellow dominated her house and she could not wait to see how her furniture fitted in with her colourful house. Since she had chosen colourful walls and carpets, she had decided to keep her furniture as white as she could. She did not buy a television set just yet; those were still a bit too expensive. Jenna did not mind though, she figured she would not have time to watch it for the first few months anyway. She would probably be too busy getting to know her new hometown. And if she would not be out on the town then she could finally catch up on reading books she was afraid to read when she still lived at home. Her parents really didn’t like it that she read so much.

But now, she lived on her own and she really could not imagine herself any happier. Not only was she now able to start a new life on her own. She would not be looked down upon by her family. She would not be judged for her actions anymore. Everything she would now do was HER decision and hers alone. She was also rid of Carson for a while. She knew her mother would keep trying to push him into her life. But for now, she was safe.

At work, things were also going great. Most of her colleagues were very pleasant people and both Nancy and Vicky were very pleased with her work effort. The only problem Jenna still had was Catcher Block!

Every now and then Catcher would come into the office to pick up his wife and it frustrated her beyond reason that somehow she always was right in the middle of one of her mail rounds when he would be there. He would give her a warm smile and as always her knees would almost give in. Sometimes she even thought he did it on purpose.

She still wasn’t sure how she felt about him. She knew she felt something for the man, but she also still refused to admit it was love. She still denied anything beyond ‘affection’, nothing more, nothing less. Though her dreams were the exact opposite of her denial. In her dreams he loved her and even more. More than once she had woken up to dreams she had never had before. Dreams where he touched her where no man had touched her before, dreams where he kissed her where she most wanted to be kissed, dreams where he gave her pleasure like she had never known. Usually she would wake up sweating and with a tingle in her groin that would only subside after a very long and very cold shower and sometimes _that_ would not even work. Usually she would end up buying lots of chocolate which would be _inhaled_ almost once she got home from work. She would torture herself by not eating any chocolate at work. Once she would get home, she picked up the little cat she rescued a few weeks earlier and had adopted as her own now and eat until she could eat it no more. Unfortunately it did not help her a lot so far.

All of her female colleagues seemed to be having a similar problem when Catcher came in sight. All of a sudden the main office would be filled with every woman in the house. They all knew he was married, but it didn’t hurt to look, now did it? Some women did not care about his marital status and flirted with him anyway, but he kindly denied them every time, reminding them he was a very happily married man now and that the woman he loved and married was right behind the big doors.

He sometimes told them about little surprises he had planned for her that evening, like a home cooked meal (yes ladies, he learned how to cook), a night on the town or even something small like a nice bouquet of flowers. Then the next day Nancy would tell them all about it all over again. (“Listen to what my sweet husband has done for me this time girls”)

Every time Catcher told them about his plans or every time Nancy told them about her husband, Jenna usually pretended to be so busy she did not have time to listen to their stories. Even in her denial of her feelings, she could not listen to their happy life. Even if she was not ready for that kind of lifestyle yet, she secretly wished she had that too.

Now, she was not lonely or anything, please don’t think she was. She wasn’t. She led a happy life as a single New Yorker. Going out whenever she wanted to, meet people whenever she wanted. Read as much as she liked and do all the things a normal person living in the big city would do. She just knew that somehow she missed something and usually when she thought of what that something was, she ended up thinking about Catcher Block.


	6. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 5**

The months passed and Jenna settled into the New York life easily. Her apartment was her pride and Mr. Mister was the only man she wanted in her life ( _what? Why hang on to a man who’s married?_ ). Stacey would often come over to visit and they would go out on the town. Jenna had found some great places to go out and meet people. She had even already met some men who were very nice, but that was it. They were just _nice_. They weren’t exiting, they weren’t breathtaking, they were just _nice_. She wasn’t looking for a Mr. Nice. She was looking for adventure, for a mr. exiting. Unfortunately she had not met _him_ yet.

Also, don’t forget. Jenna was still at a stage where she thought she wasn’t looking for love. She thought she was only focusing on her career at the moment and if someone interesting would come along, she would consider dating him. What she did not realise though, was that she was out there every week and she was disappointed if at the end of the evening no one interesting had come her way. Problem _there_ was not because no one actually came up to her and made conversation BUT because all the men that _had_ come her way were nothing compared to that grey-eyed, brown-haired man no one was allowed to mention in her presence. And not mention him they did. Everyone around her knew the truth, but until Jenna herself was ready to face it, they would all keep it to themselves. What good would it do anyway? It wasn’t as if she would all of a sudden admit to anything. She would keep denying until the end of time if she had to. And until she was ready to face the truth they would let her be.

Unfortunately her mother kept pushing Carson into her life too. Her mother was convinced that if she kept pushing him towards Jenna, Jenna would eventually give in. Worst thing was; it looked like it was working. Jenna was even considering going on that date he had been bugging her about for months.

 _Maybe it will get him off my back. Who knows I might even enjoy it. And if I keep telling myself that maybe that will come true too. Goodness me, I cannot believe I am actually considering this. I cannot believe my mother might actually get her way. If I just go with him on this date, let him know who I really am and at the end of the date tell him that even though it was nice, I don’t think it will work out. That way mum is happy, Carson had his date and I never hurt anyone. Right? Next time I see mum I can tell her the same thing I told Carson and then I can go on with my OWN life._

That next day she ran into Catcher again.

 _Someone up there must really hate me!!!_

“Hello miss” He said with the cheeriest smile she had even ever seen on him. “It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?”  
“Y-yes, I guess it is, sir” _will I ever be able to get out a sentence WITHOUT stuttering?_  
“I just love the springtime, don’t you? Trees in bloom, everyone out on the streets again, happy and laughing. I would not mind having springtime 4 seasons a year.”  
“I guessss so” _What is he on about? Is he drunk or something?_  
“So, has my lovely wife shared the wonderful news yet? I bet she has, this was something that I don’t think anyone can keep quiet”  
“W-what news? I haven’t heard anything yet, but I have been doing my rounds for the last 45 minutes.” _Please, oh please, tell me they have gotten a puppy, don’t let it be that thing that I am afraid he is going to say, that thing I almost know he is going to say. Have mercy on me here. I don’t think I can take the p-word._

 _Jenna, what are you on about?_

“She hasn’t blurted it out when she came in this morning? Maybe she wanted to wait until the nausea had faded a bit. It was awful to see her like that this morning. Even worse than the last few days. I guess everyone will find out sooner or later; she’s pregnant! Isn’t it wonderful? I am actually going to be a father, can you believe it? … Sweetheart, are you okay, you look a bit pale … “

 _That’s it, someone REALLY hates me …_

 _… Oh god, not my knees again …._

 _… Too late …_

“You are not alright. Have you seen a doctor lately? Every time I see you, you seem faint.”

 _Why does this happen every time? Even HE notices … I hate life ... and apparently life hates me too. I guess that makes us even, huh? Now I just need a quick answer._

“I guess it’s time for that lunch break now, huh? I hadn’t noticed the time until you came in and if you are here now it must mean that it’s nearly the end of this working day.” _Good one, Jen._ “Don’t worry, I will be fine in a minute. Congratulations on the baby. Th-that’s just wonderful news, I am so happy for you two” _liar, liar, pants on fire!_

After Catcher was convinced she was fine, he left her to go find his wife. Jenna however decided not to wait and congratulate Nancy before she left. She tidied her office, grabbed her bag and left the office before Nancy was able to announce the big news.

Weird thing was though, that she had not even seen Nancy that day.

No, that was not true, she had seen her come in that morning, looking very pale. That was probably because of her morning sickness.

If only she had stayed a few minutes longer, she would have seen Nancy being taken to hospital by a very scared looking Catcher. She was wearing his long raincoat and they locked her office before they left; something that had NEVER happened before. Nancy always made sure that her staff could enter her office to put papers on her desk or for the cleaners to clean her office. Vicky was also very secretive and concerned. She left a few moments after Catcher and Nancy did.

Jenna fled from the office building, trying to keep the tears that she could not explain herself from falling. She decided that fresh air would do her a lot of good and so she did not take the subway home. After about 45 minutes she opened up the door to her beloved apartment and Mr. Mister, as if he sensed something was wrong, came running up to her immediately. He jumped in her lap as soon as she sat down, an even larger than usual bag with chocolate at her side. She did not touch it however. She just sat there, tears streaming down her face, thinking about how unfair life was, cursing the day she ran into the man she finally admitted to being in love with.

Funny how it took a pregnancy to admit to her true feelings!

She felt relieved about finally admitting the truth, she just wished it had been under different circumstances. Before, she could have imagined him leaving his wife, realising he had married the wrong woman, but now … now, he was going to be a FATHER. He was going to have a child; he would forever be connected to his wife. He would not leave her now, he had a family.

“I have to get over this” she said to her cat, who was still purring in her lap, still trying to keep the new batch of tears from falling “I can’t keep crying over a man who will never be mine. He does not love me and he never will. I can also keep denying that I am not looking for love, but we all know that _that_ is a lie too. I _am_ looking for someone. I _do_ want to wake up in the morning and find someone lying next to me, someone who loves me, someone who understands me. Someone _like_ Catcher who understands the need for a woman to have a career also.”

After about another hour the sobs finally faded to soft sniffs. She just could not believe her luck. She had never been in love with anyone, until she had met Catcher Block and she had been very proud of that fact. Then she meets the man of her life and he gets married to her boss. Why did life have to be so cruel?

“Maybe I should go out with Carson. I have been so hung up on Catcher that I have not given him a real chance. What do you think? Shall I give him a call?”   
As if the little cat understood what she said, he made a face as if trying to tell her she would be making a huge mistake. Jenna however took it as a sign of approval and picked up her phone and made the call she never thought she would ever make.

“Carson? Hi, it’s Jenna”

After talking to Carson for a little while, even telling him about Catcher, he promised her he would come over to visit her that next day. It was Saturday and since Carson worked every other Saturday and tomorrow was his day off. Jenna had also already decided she would call in sick for a few days that next week. She knew she would not be able to handle the joy at the office right now and calling in sick was the only choice she had to avoid everything. Carson was surprisingly very attentive over the phone. Maybe she really had been wrong about him, who knows, he might even be who she was really looking for after all.

After she hung up, she did not feel that ease that she was hoping for, but at least she did not feel like crying anymore. She got up off the couch (which Mr. Mister did not like all too much, by the way. All the time she had been crying or talking on the phone, Jenna’s hand had never left his fur and he had felt mighty comfortable) and poured herself a glass of wine, something she had never been able to do whilst she still lived at home. When she sat back down again, Mr. Mister sat right back down on her lap, hoping she would continue Jenna’s worship of his fur (well, that’s what he thought of it anyway). She thought about Stacey and how much she wished she could call her too. She really needed her friend’s advice on what to do now. Unfortunately it was too late in the evening to call her and even if it hadn’t been too late a time, she couldn’t, because her parents did not have their own phone yet. Stacey had told her that they might be getting one at the end of next month, though.

She really wanted to know if she wasn’t making a big mistake, asking Carson over. She had been complaining about him ever since she met him and she was afraid that Stacey would not understand her decision. Somehow she also did not understand her decision herself too, but she just thought that it was the only logic thing to do. Still something deep inside gnawed at her, knowing that this was not right, but she just pushed that feeling down.

After a few glasses more, she dragged herself to bed. (Again, _someone_ was not very happy about that, ah well, too bad!) That night her dreams were filled with that grey-eyed man she had been dreaming about for the last few months. She dreamed about her being pregnant with his child, seeing that twinkle in his eye. That same twinkle he had had that afternoon when he told her about Nancy. This time the twinkle was meant for her and her alone. He cared for her, caressed her big belly and talked to it as if the baby was already born.

~

“Good morning, Jenna, feeling better yet? I hope you had a good nights rest?” Carson asked her with a sugar coated smile that almost made Jenna sick.

 _Give him a chance, Jen. He is just concerned about you._

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I’ll get over him soon enough. Just give me time. Thank you so much for coming over, I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, what are friends for, right?” he replied way too smooth for her liking.

 _Just don’t start touching me and kissing me, please, please, pretty please. I don’t think I can handle that right now. Not that I ever could, but if you do, I’m not sure what I might do right now._

For the next few days Carson was sugar sweet, which Jenna did not trust entirely, but she just needed it for the moment. She saw the look in Carson that said that he really wanted to something entirely different than hold her when she felt sad. She even caught a look of lust once or twice.

 _I might not withdraw if he wants to kiss me, but I draw the line at anything beyond that. He really has been sweet to me over the last few days, maybe mum was right after all. I should just give it a chance, I will probably learn to love him as time passes._

Carson left after a week, even if he still “wasn’t entirely certain she was okay”. He had slept on her couch for a week and it had frustrated him beyond reason that he knew the way to win her over was to be patient. It had not been easy though; he knew she was sleeping only 1 door away from him and if he wanted, he could have gotten up and have his way with her. He knew that if he would have, he would never get her to eventually marry him, move back home and carry his children. In the end that was what he was after and he would succeed, it would just take him a bit longer now. Ah well, it was a price he was welcome to pay. In the meantime, he would just continue dating Allison, who was more than willing to give him what he needed. It would not even be long before Jenna would give in to him probably, she even gave _him_ a kiss on his lips when he left. _Just give her time, she will realise soon enough I am her man._

That afternoon Jenna received a phone call from a worried, yet angry, Stacey.  
“First of all, why did you not tell me about Catcher and a baby and second _why on earth did you call Carson?”_  
“Hi Stace, I can exp…”  
“You’d better explain, I ran into that … that … slime today and he had a smirk on his face that made me sick. He told me he stayed with you for a _week_! Because you found out that Catcher was going to be a father! Can you imagine the look on my face when I hear 2 things _you_ never told me?”  
“Please Stace, just let me explain, please?”  
“I’m listening”  
“Last Friday I ran into Catcher again, he looked way too happy for my health. We started talking and …”  
“Really, you finally had a real conversation with him?”  
“Just let me finish. Yes, we started talking, he asked me if Nancy had shared the ‘great news’ yet, but I hadn’t heard anything since I had been doing my rounds for the last hour. Then he just blurted it out that he was going to be a father and how happy he was. He also told me that Nancy was already suffering terrible morning sickness. And just as I was praying to whoever might still like me to not let my knees give in, there they went … again. After he raced towards Nancy’s office, I packed my stuff and ran home. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I give up on him Stace, he is going to be a father now. Now there is no way on earth he will ever leave her. Not with a baby coming up. It’s just not fair.”

“Did you just finally admit something?”  
“I did, I finally realise what I feel for this man and look where it got me. Why does life have to be so incredibly cruel?”

“But that still does not explain why Carson, of all people, stayed with you for a week. At least please ease my mind and tell me he slept on your couch?”  
“Yes he did sleep on my couch. I am definitely not ready for having him in my bed, thank you very much. You know how my mother keeps pushing him towards me and maybe she is right. Maybe he is right for me. He might be no Catcher, but he was really sweet to me the past week. We talked a lot this week and he was really there for me. I am so sorry that I did not tell you about everything yet. I really wish you had that telephone installed already, I really wanted to phone you Friday. After Carson arrived on Saturday I was never alone long enough to write you a note to phone me from work. Please tell me you are not mad at me.”  
“How could I ever be mad at you? You are my best friend remember? A best friend who did something stupid, but I will help you with that.”  
“Listen, I know it’s very hard to believe, especially with his past behaviours, but Carson was really sweet to me over the last week. I’m really thinking about dating him.”   
“Wh… please tell me you’ll reconsider that idea. Sweetheart, he is not right for you, you know that.”   
“We’ll see.”

~

“Jenna? Hey darling, how are you? Still feeling good, I hope. If not, I will take that first train to NY again to make sure you are alright”

Carson!

 _Did he just call me darling?_

“Hey Carson, I’m fine. I he… “  
“The reason I phoned you; I wanted to ask you something.”  
“Su…”  
“This last week was amazing wasn’t it? I hope you enjoyed spending time with me as much as I did with you. I really think we grew a step closer together, don’t you think?”  
“wel…”  
“Anyway …”

 _will he ever let me finish even one word?_

“… After this week I realise how good we are together. Perfect, even. …”

 _No, perfect would have been; Catcher wanting me as much as I did him when I first met him_

“ … Jenna, will you consider being my girl? I really think we have a great future together.”

 _Wow, I did not see that one coming!_

“Carson, as much as I like you, we are way too different. We both want different things. I want a career here in the city and you are looking for someone who will take care of you and your children.”

 _Hang on, didn’t I say something entirely different this afternoon to Stacey? Didn’t I think that we might be good together? Why am I contradicting myself then?_

“I know what I said before, but I also know how important this job is to you and I am willing to accept that. Though I do not understand why you have to live in New York for that. You could always get a job here, you know?”  
“I know, but my career opportunities are much better here an…”  
“But I am not asking you to move back here, I am asking you to give me a chance, be my girl, please?”  
“I don’t know, Carson”  
“But I do, and I know that we would be right together. I know how important your job is to you and I would never ask you to give that up. We can really work this out. We’ll both keep our jobs and see each other on weekends. Thank goodness we have a telephone, so we can phone each other as often as we can.”

 _Could he really have changed? I can always give it a try. See if we really are good together. He accepts my job and my lifestyle, that’s good right? Maybe eventually I can get him to move here and find a job for him in the city. Even if he might be right for me, why do I still doubt? Jenna, just go for it!_

“If you put it like that, than who am I to deny? I a ….”  
“That is fantastic news, darling. I am so happy. When can I see you again? I cannot afford to visit you this weekend, so will you come over here?”

 _That’s what I was trying to tell you, before you interrupted me … again_

“Yes, I already had made plans to come and visit my family this weekend, so I will see you then”  
“Great, listen, I have to go now. I am meeting with … a friend in a few. I will see you this weekend, darling”

 _I guess I’d better get used to darling. Don’t really like it, but I’ll get used to it soon … I hope._

On the drive to work that next Monday, Jenna thought about the passed weekend with her family. Of course her mother knew about what had happened with Carson. Even that he asked her to be his girlfriend. She was, of course, overjoyed with the ‘happy news’. The fact that Carson had stayed at her place before marriage was all of a sudden not important anymore! As long as she would not give in to ‘those urges that she might be experiencing now’ (come on mom, just call it sex, like everyone else does). However, Jenna was still not really assured that she made a right decision. She just figured that she would love Carson eventually. She just hoped that it would not be too long before that would happen. Catcher was still haunting her in her dreams, doing things to her that drove her wild with desire.

When she left, Carson was there, of course. He had been there for the entire weekend, except during the nights when he slept at home. He even never asked to sleep on the couch so he could ‘spend as much time with her as possible’. No, he behaved like a perfect gentleman. Just before she got in the car, he sped up to her and pretended to give her a normal kiss on her lips, but in reality he quickly slipped his tongue past her lips and demanded entrance. Jenna just gave in to him, knowing that it would happen one day, might as well be now. Her parents never knew what was going on, even if they were watching them. They just figured it was a normal lovers kiss but without tongue. ‘Carson was a respectable decent man and Jenna was not that kind of girl’

As much as she hoped that that kiss would leave her breathless, like Catcher did in her dreams, it didn’t. It didn’t stir anything. If she was very honest, she did not like it at all. His tongue was almost in the back of her throat in a way that almost made her gag. Again, she thought, she would get used to it in time.

As she got out of her car, she walked up to the office building and she ran into Mary Litzer on the way.

“Hey Jenna, I am glad that you are feeling better. We have had quite a week last week.”  
“I bet you did, with the new book from Nancy and Mr. Block out, it must have been hectic.”  
“No love, the book was the least on our worries last week. Ms Nancy was pregnant apparently”  
“I know, I ran into Mr. Block last Friday before I got sick. I am so happy for them, aren’t you?”  
“Not anymore, she had a miscarriage!”  
“Oh no, that’s awful” and she meant that. Jenna could never wish something like that upon anyone, even if they were married to the man of her dreams.  
“You should have seen them when he took her to the hospital, just after you left that Friday. They were both as white as a sheet of paper. That Monday Vicky told us what happened, that she was doing fine again and that they were going away for a few days to visit her family and relax. I wonder if Nancy will be back again today.”

Just before they got into the lift, Jenna noticed someone sitting on the floor in a corner of the hall; it was Catcher and he looked like hell!

“Mr. Block, are you alright?”


	7. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 6**

“Mr. Block, are you alright?” Jenna asked.

 _Heh, usually he is the one to ask me that question._

When he did not answer, but just sniffed softly, Jenna walked over to where he sat on the ground. From afar he looked awful, but when she got to him she found “awful” an understatement. His hair was a mess, he had not shaven in probably a week, his clothes looked like he had not changed them for a few days and his breath smelled like alcohol and cigarettes.

“Is something wrong?”

 _I think I just won the “stupid question” award_

“Can I maybe help you with anything? Does Mrs. Block know that you are here? Shall I go get her for you?”  
“ … useless … gone …”

That was all he said. Jenna figured he must be talking about his lost baby, so she tried to find the words that might comfort him a bit. Though that was easier thought than done. What do you say to someone who has just lost his first unborn child?

“ … Yes, I heard. I am so sorry.”  
“How could she?” He whispered again.   
“She couldn’t help it, you know. Please do not blame your wife for losing your child”  
“Bastard wife stealer”

 _What on earth is he talking about? He must still be drunk, he’s talking nonsense._

“Why don’t you come up and go to see your wife, I am sure she could use you too right now”  
“She’s not there, she is still in Maine” he replied softly. “With _him_ ”

She noticed tears started falling down his face again. Something else must be very wrong. Who is this ‘him’ he is talking about? Why is he here when Nancy is still in Maine? Why is he here in this office building when he should be at work?

“I know it is none of my business to ask you this, but with whom? Her father? Her brother? Maybe she just wants some time to herself to recollect her thoughts. She went through a lot too. It must be extra hard for her, seeing as it was her body that had to go through it all. I am not saying that it should not mean anything to you, but if you would have been the one to carry a child, you would probably feel the way she must be feeling right now.”  
“I wish she was with her father or her brother right now. She’s not!” Catcher’s voice grew stronger and sadness was quickly replaced with anger, though she was not sure that would last long. “I should have known she was too good to be true. Especially after that little stunt she pulled to get me to fall in love with her. She never wanted me, she just wanted the thought of me … and JED. Bastard.”

 _She didn’t, tell me he is talking about something entirely different._

“She said she never felt like that with anyone before. What about with me? I thought that she loved me, that I was the only one in her life. Did she just make that up?”

 _…She did!!... That sounds so unlike her. There must be more to this story, but I can’t ask him that, maybe he’ll tell more if I just listen to him. Though I do have to be up soon, they’ll wonder where I am if I don’t show up._

“Have you ever been in love?” He asked her, looking into her eyes.

 _Oh dear!_

“Yes, I have”

 _There’s no need to lie, I have been in love … with him._

“Wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Are you married?” He looked like he was scared to hear her answer. Both answers would never be good right now to him.  
“No … no, I’m not” she replied softly.

 _Please, don’t ask any further, I don’t know what to say if he asks who my ‘love’ is._

“Engaged?”  
“No, not engaged either, I’m afraid” she replied with a soft smile.  
“I-I’m sorry, I should not be asking these kinds of questions. I don’t know why I did.”  
“That’s okay, I don’t mind.”

Catcher softly started crying again, his head ducked down, hoping beyond hope that Jenna didn’t notice. Jenna did notice however.

 _Oh dear god, how could you possibly be so cruel? I should be getting over him, I’m with Carson now! What am I going to do? I can’t leave him here, but he can’t stay out here too. Maybe if I ask him to follow me upstairs, I can give him some coffee or something and when he feels a bit better I can send him home. Carson please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m just helping him, really, nothing more. You would do the same, right?_

“Mr. Block, you cannot stay down here… ehm … Why don’t you come upstairs and I’ll get you a cup of coffee?”  
“NO” he yelled far too quickly. “I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. What I meant to say was ‘no, I’m sorry, but I cannot go upstairs. I could not possibly show myself up there when everyone probably knows. I am surprised that you do not seem to know.”  
“I-I was off sick last week, I only found out about the loss of your baby this morning.” She replied softly, feeling guilty about her real reason for calling in sick last week. “But my own office is right across the lift; maybe you can sit there for a while and drink that cup of coffee?”

 _Jenna, what are you doing? This is not trying to get over him, this is just torturing yourself._

“I-I don’t know. What if everyone upstairs does know? They will laugh at me.”  
“Why would they? There is no reason for any of them to laugh at you. I bet they do not even know what has happened over the last week, that they only know about the baby and nothing more. You don’t have to stay long, just until you are feeling a bit better and finish that cup of coffee. I will be doing my first rounds soon, so I will not even bother you”   
“I really could use a strong cup of coffee right now. Do you also have a telephone in your office? Then I could call in sick.”   
“I’m afraid I don’t. I take care of the mail, there is no real reason for me to have one, I’m sorry.”

“How do you take your coffee?” Jenna asked once she took off her coat in her mailroom.  
“Black, thank you.” He whispered, afraid that someone might hear him.

Jenna left her mailroom with Catcher in it and walked over to the coffee room. There she found a few of her colleagues talking about the latest news that they had heard that morning.  
“I heard he left her for a girl 10 years younger! Apparently he has been seeing her for a few months now and when Nancy found out, she threw him out on the street.”

 _Only Karen could come up with something like that. How does she come up with things like this?_

Jenna pretended not to know what she was talking about  
“Who?” she asked with her best poker face.  
“You haven’t heard anything yet have you? Well, sweetheart, let me fill you in … “

 _Sweetheart???_

“It started when last Friday, just after you left, Nancy and Catcher left in a hurry, Nancy looked like the dead. They went to the hospital because of a miscarriage. But I still think he made her have an abortion!”  
“An abo…. How on earth can you think that? I ran into Mr. Block just before I left and he was like a kid in a candy store, I don’t think I have ever seen him this happy, not even when he proposed to Mrs. Block.”   
“Whatever, I still think he made her get rid of it. Anyway, after the _‘miscarriage’_ , they left for Maine to get away for a few days. Apparently Catcher came back 3 days ago to visit this girl he has been seeing on the side!”  
“Who on earth told you this? I find this very hard to believe.” Jenna asked her, her anger clearly voiced.

She had seen the man in question. In fact he was in her office and she was getting him coffee! She could just not believe he could possibly be that good of an actor to be able to make all this up. She did not understand why she believed every word he said, but she just did, even without her still present feelings for him. He just seemed genuine; she saw it in his eyes. They were actually very expressive, something she was only just able to see.

“Oooh, someone has a crush on Catch.”  
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m afraid that that crush you are talking about is on my boyfriend.” _Ha, got you there, didn’t I?_ “But like I said before, I have seen him over the last few months and especially that last Friday and his eyes never lied; he really loves his wife. You haven’t answered my question, though. Who told you all of this? I am really curious to know.”

Karen was quiet for a few seconds, clearly trying to figure out what to say next.  
“It doesn’t matter who told me. I will not give away my sources, but I can tell you that my sources also do not lie. I know what I know and what I know is true!”  
“I guess I will just have to ask him myself the next time I see him, then” and with these last words, she picked up the two cups of coffee and walked away. The girls she left behind stood in shock. They had never heard Jenna react to anything or anyone this strongly and especially not to Karen. For some weird reason no one had done that before, though a lot of them wanted to.

“Mr. Block? Here is your coffee. I hope you don’t mind, but I really need to start clearing up the mess on my desk.”

 _Look at him sitting there. He looks so lost. I wish there was something I could do, take away his pain. How could people be so cruel to their loved ones? There has got to be another side to this story, I know that. But still, looking at him sitting there, he could not have been the one wrong here. He really got hurt and I am afraid that Mrs. Block is the one who caused it. Just how she did it is the big question here. If I knew him as a friend, I could have asked him about it, let him talk about it. Then at least he would be able to get it off his chest. But if we had been friends, then I would have been able to take him into my arms and hold him, let him cry those tears that are threatening to fall again, tell him everything would be fine and that I would be there for him, no matter what…_

 _Good thing we’re not close friends then. I don’t think Carson would have been very happy. Would he be? I mean, would he be angry if I had a close male friend that needed my shoulder? He wouldn’t, would he? Too bad then, if he doesn’t like it, he’ll just have to learn to live with it. I will not change my friendships, just because he doesn’t feel comfortable with it._

 _Hang on; what am I talking about here? I am not even friends with this man and already I am angry with my boyfriend for something he did not even do._

“Thank you so much. I really needed this. I haven’t had a decent cup of coffee for 3 days now. _Or anything else that did not contain alcohol, but she does not need to know that_. Listen, do they know I am here? Have they said anything about seeing me here? If they did, then I’d best be on my way. I don’t think I want to face them right now.” Catcher said quietly.

 _It’s nice to finally see someone who seems to believe me. I cannot believe my own brother even did not believe me. I should visit him soon, get reacquainted with him, I haven’t seen him in 3 years. He must still think I am that carefree bachelor I once was. Maybe I will call him later, ask him if I can stay with him for a few days. Then I can explain everything and hopefully he will believe me then. If only I had invited them and mum to the wedding, then maybe it would not have been so hard for them to believe me now. The last time I saw Hoyt, his wife was pregnant with their oldest, now they have 2 children and neither of them I have ever seen. I guess I am the bastard here._

 _Look at her sitting there. She is desperately trying to concentrate on her job, but failing miserably I’m afraid. That envelope has been going back and forth 3 times now. And there is that soft blush again, probably realising the same thing. And there she goes again; back to whatever thoughts going through her head. I don’t think I have ever seen her not look so pensive. I even think that she has ‘gone worse’ since the last time I saw her… when I told her about my baby … wow, that seems ages ago. When life was still on my side._

 _She is actually quite pretty. I never noticed that before. Duh, of course you haven’t noticed that before. Until 3 days ago you never noticed anyone but Nancy…. I miss her. Why did she have to fall back in love with him? What have I done to make her fall out of love with me? Why can’t I have that bliss that they have? I have never loved a woman like that before and when I finally learn to love and have had proof of our love on the way, it is taken away from me._

They sat there in silence for another 15 minutes. Jenna being too scared to say anything, scared she will run him off. Catcher also not saying anything, scared he will run her off. Funnily enough he did not mind the silence.  
After 15 minutes he told her he really had to get going. Still needing to make that stop at his own office and he had also decided he would call his brother and stay with him for a few days.

“Thank you for everything. You have really helped me out this morning. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t done what you did.”  
“All I did was get you a cup of coffee, it’s no big deal, really.” Jenna replied, feeling her cheeks burn up again.

 _Now I finally have my stutter under control with him, I really have to start getting that blush under control too._

“No, you did a lot more than that and I am really grateful for it. If you had not made me get up, I would probably still be sitting in that lobby, feeling very sorry for myself.”  
“You make it sound like there is no need to feel like that. Your wife has just left you for someone else, I think you are entitled to feel terrible. The reason why I wanted to get you up off the floor was because you do not want the kind of talk people will do when they see you sitting there. You have a good reputation, people respect you. If people will see you like I did this morning, they will immediately change their opinion of you and you do not deserve something like that. People do not understand that you have that private life or that you can be vulnerable. They have never seen you like that before. I know I do not have any right to tell you what to do, but if I were you, I would go home and call work from there instead of going there in person. They have an even bigger respect for you there.”  
“Th-Thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me over the last few days. I think I am going to follow your advice on going straight home and call work from there. I had already decided to phone my brother and ask him to let me stay with him and his family for a few days. He has gotten 2 children whom I have never even seen before.”

 _Why on earth did I just share this with her?_

“My goodness, I have so many nieces and nephews I cannot even count them anymore, but I have seen them all on the day they were born! There are actually 2 new additions on the way and I cannot wait to meet them. I love them all so much. Go visit him, spend some time with his children, you will love it, even after everything you have just gone through. My brother and his wife have been trying to have children for years now, but they still have not succeeded. They visit my other brothers sometimes just to visit their children, to enjoy them and play with them and that usually helps them to get through the rough periods.”

Why on earth did I tell him this?

“Again, thank you so much. I will not forget this, you have really helped me today. Well Jenna, I will not keep you any longer and let you get back to your job.”

And before Jenna even had a chance to reply, tell him that it was nothing she did, that anyone would have done what she did, he was gone. When she walked out of her office, she did see him run for the stairs, making sure no one had seen him.

 _I need help, this man could not possibly be for real! He is everything Carson isn’t, yet he will never be mine. I totally forgot about Carson when he was here and I do not feel guilty about that at all. I must be the world’s worst girlfriend!_


	8. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 7**

“Jenna Taylor, are you out of your mind? How could you possibly be so stupid? Please tell me it isn’t true” Stacey stormed past Jenna into the living room, not even bothering to take her coat off, she wanted some things cleared up before anything else.

“Hey Stace, give me your coat and I will tell you all you need to know, even if I have no idea what on earth you are talking about.”

 _Though I have my suspicions._

“The coat comes off when it does, for now it stays on until you explain to me how on earth you could have done something so incredibly stupid”  
“And which of the many stupidities are you talking about?”  
“Don’t play smart mouth, young lady, you know perfectly well what I am talking about; you and Carson? Have you really lost your mind this time? I mean, you know perfectly well what he is like and he has not changed since the last time I tried to warn you about him. He is a worm who will probably try to get into your pants the first chance he gets. Oh dear god, please tell me he hasn’t already? You don’t want it to happen like that and certainly not with him. I’d rather hear you’ve dumped him, gone out one night and taken ‘Barbara Novak’s’ advice and slept with a man you didn’t know. Whatever happened to secretly hanging on to your other dream man; Catcher Block?”  
“Forget about Mr. Block, okay? I am trying to do just that same thing.”  
“Okay, I will forget about him … for now … now, since we are avoiding talking about a certain very handsome man, why don’t we talk about the opposite and you tell me about **CARSON!** Spill it now and you had better have a good story ready.”

 _Please Stacey, don’t do this to me. I am not even sure myself right now._

“What about him?”  
“Oh no, Jen. You will not play that card with me. Don’t even think about avoiding this subject. I can see it in your eyes that you do not want to talk about it, but that is just too bad. We ARE going to talk about it and you ARE going to explain everything to me. Including why he is parading around town as if you are already married! You should see your mother, by the way, she could not be any happier. They ran into each other at the grocery store last week and she treated him as if he was her son! Now that was just plain scary, so you better start explaining to me now.”

Jenna took a deep breath. The room was spinning and nausea took control of her body. She really did not want to tell her best friend about her situation, but she also had to get this off her chest. Over the last two weeks she had thought about her situation with Carson a lot. She was still not sure about it all, but she was still convincing herself that this was the best thing for her. This way she could get over Catcher Block and move on. You can’t be in love with someone other than your boyfriend right? She hadn’t told Stacey that she never did end her “thing” with Carson, she was too scared to. Last time they saw each other she had promised Stacey to rethink the whole thing and ‘make the right decision’. She hadn’t! She had thought about everything, a lot even, but she just couldn’t end it with Carson. She was sure that she would be happy in the end, even with Carson.

Jenna picked up Mr. Mister off the floor and cradled him in her lap. She needed his comfort and he did not mind one single bit. He just got comfortable and awaited the fur-worshipping. Her nausea would not fade, but she knew she could not wait any longer so she took another deep breath and started to explain everything:

“Okay, I know I owe you a huge explanation. I also know that I should have given it to you a lot earlier, but I just had to work all this out in my own head first, before I could tell anyone.”  
“Have you told Joey yet?” Stacey felt a sting of jealousy. Secretly selfishly hoping that she hadn’t, yet on the other hand she was also hoping that she at least told her brother about anything.  
“No, but he hasn’t spoken to me ever since my last visit home a week ago. Before I tell you, please don’t be mad, don’t react the way he did. I really need a friend right now and the thought of not having you as a friend would kill me.”  
“I am sorry to say this, but I cannot promise you anything right now. You know how I feel about Carson and the mere thought of you two still being together makes my stomach turn. Just tell me everything and we’ll see where we’ll go from there.”  
“Okay, here it goes. I know I promised you to rethink everything, to end it with Carson, but I just couldn’t. He really is not that bad, really. During my visit home, he was so sweet. He never touched me anywhere I didn’t want him to, never even tried to kiss me … well, not until I left. I have just been too hung up on Mr. Block that I probably did not think straight. Now, I have opened my eyes and saw who was there for me. With Carson I have a future, Stace, he says he loves me, he even wants to marry me one day. He said he would propose when I would be ready. He knows I want to keep my job and that I will not become a boring housewife, just looking after our children and cleaning up after everyone.”

“Then _why_ is he telling everyone you are his fiancé? Even talking about this huge rock on your finger? I felt hurt, Jen, hurt that you never told me anything, not even telling me you are engaged”  
“But I am not! I am definitely not engaged. Why would I do something like that so quickly? We have not even gone out for a month. I promise you, Stace, swear even, that I am not engaged to Carson. I also vow to you right now that as soon as that happens I WILL jump in the car and tell you all about it immediately. You should know better that I would never keep you from news like that. Don’t you remember our pinkie-swear about that subject, we made that vow when we were 10, remember? Aren’t we supposed to drop everything and run to tell the other, even before telling our parents? I haven’t forgotten about that and I still tend to keep to that promise.”  
“But he is telling everyone back home differently. He never says anything about a proposal, but he is telling everyone who will listen and even some who don’t, that you two are engaged to be married and that you are looking for a job near him. He has been seen leaving the real estate agency where he talked to Ed about buying a house for the two of you. Now do you see what he is like? Will you please finally come to your senses and let me do some serious bodily harm to him?”

“Stacey, no. I will talk to him about this. Make him understand that I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet. If he still insists on believing we are engaged, then I will think about it again, but until then I will not break up with him. Look, I know it makes no sense what I am doing right now, but in the end I just know that this is for the best. I thought I wanted to date men and then dump them, but I don’t. I want someone to come home to at night after a fantastic day at work. I want to share life with someone. I know that Carson can give me that eventually.”  
“Are you even listening to yourself? Do you know what you just said? ‘I know that Carson can give me that eventually? Whatever happened to the woman who would not take anything for granted, who never wanted to settle for anything less than true love? Where is she? Right now you have turned into the opposite, Jen. You ARE settling for less, even worse, you have settled for Carson.”  
“I know what I said and I know it sounds weird but that is just the way it will be now. I know that right now things aren’t exactly what I hoped they would be, but I am certain that they will be eventually. I might not feel those butterflies yet, but who says that exists?”  
“You have just killed everything you ever stood for. Jenna, please, listen to what you are saying here.”  
“I know, Stace, but you are just going to have to accept it. I am with Carson and I will not change that.”  
“I wish I could tell you to stuff it right now, but I love you to much for that. I will however tell you ‘I told you so’ in due time and you know I will too. Promise me that you will come to me when things start falling apart, please don’t be scared to talk to me. Even if I do not agree with your choices, I will be here for you.”  
Thanks so much, Stace, you are truly the best friend I could ever have.”

“Do you remember what I said earlier?” Stacey said a little while later. They were enjoying a nice glass of wine and had dropped the subject Carson.  
“Stace, you said an awful lot, which particular thing are you referring to right now?”  
“That I would drop a certain very handsome subject … for a little while?” a sneaky smile spread across Stacey’s face.  
“yesssss … why?”

 _Why do I have this sneaking suspicion we are about to talk about him now?_

“Guess what, that little while is past now and I am going to talk about it, whether you like it or not.”

 _Bingo_

“Oh, please no. Why? Why can’t you just let me get over him? I am doing a great job, but if you keep talking about him I will never get there.”  
“And that is exactly my purpose. I don’t want you to get over him, even if he is married. I want you to hang on to him just a little longer. I want you to see what happiness is like; see that those butterflies are not a fairytale but real life. Maybe then you will open your eyes and see that you are making the biggest mistake of your life. Please sweetheart, you know I only want what is best for you and I promise you that in time you will see what I see and you will be so grateful. So, tell me, how happy is he, how is Nancy doing? Still ‘enjoying’ her morning sickness?”

“Yes, he is very happily enjoying his broken heart. She, on the other hand, is enjoying a new life with her new boyfriend.”  
“Wha … hang on … what happened? And from the beginning, don’t even think about leaving anything out. I have this weird feeling you know a lot more than you want to share with me right now.”  
“I hate it that you know me so well.”  
“Sorry, but that is part of the job, you know. Best friends are supposed to notice anything and everything, now spill it.”  
“Last Monday when I finally had the courage to come back to work, I ran into a colleague who filled me in what had happened in that week. You will not believe it, I feel so sorry for him. Apparently just after I left … “

And so Jenna told the entire story of the miscarriage and the break up. She hoped beyond hope that Stacey would believe that her colleague was the one to tell her everything including the break up. She wasn’t sure why, but for some weird reason she could not tell her that Catcher himself told her about that. Unfortunately …

“How come I have this feeling that you are leaving out a huge portion of this story? What are you trying to hide?”  
“I-I’m not trying to hide anything, really I’m not”  
“Then why are your cheeks burning like I have never seen before? Plus, you are stuttering. You are a terrible liar, did you know that? Why won’t you tell me the truth?”  
“Because I didn’t want to embarrass him. If I tell you what really happened, I’m afraid your opinion of him will change and he does not deserve that. He is going through a rough period as it is.”  
“WHO is? Catcher Block?”

After debating in her head what to do, was it wise to tell? She decided that it could not hurt to tell her best friend. She knew that, of all people, Stacey would understand his pain and actions. She also knew that Stacey would never tell another living soul if Jenna asked her to. On top of that, she had to get it off her chest. It had been eating at her all week and not being able to talk to anyone about it was eating her. She couldn’t tell Carson, because he would just laugh it off and if the two ever met, Carson would definitely use that story against him. Her colleagues were of course off limits. The stories of why Mrs. Block was still not at the office for another week had given the gossip circuit a big boost and the wildest stories were going around the office. Luckily no one had seen Catcher that morning so no one knew that he had already returned. Mary Litzer never let anyone know whether she had seen Catcher the morning Jenna helped him out, if she had, she never said anything about it. So with yet another deep breath, she started telling her the truth:

“Promise me now that you will never tell another living being what I am about to tell you. He told me everything in confidence and I would like to keep it that way.”  
“Yet it’s eating you alive and you have to tell the one person you know you can tell anything to. Do not worry, I will never tell if you don’t want me to.”  
Thanks, well, of course you are very right that I kept a bit of the story… huge bit of the story, really. My colleague did tell me about the miscarriage, but not about the break up. Someone else did…”  
“WHO? Who did?”  
“Mr. Block did”  
“Mr. drop-dead-gorgeous himself?”  
“That’s the one. While Mary was telling me the story about what had happened, we walked into the office building and when we arrived at the lifts I noticed a man sitting on the floor, a bit ducked away. Mary got in the lift and went up already, but I just couldn’t. I knew who it was even before I saw his face. You should have seen him Stace, he looked awful. You would definitely not have called him Mr. drop-dead-gorgeous if you had. His clothes were rumpled, his face unshaven and his hair all messed up. Very ‘un-Catcher-like’ if you will. I just could not believe that someone who stands so tall could be so tiny all of a sudden. Since I knew about the baby I assumed that he was this miserable about that. So I asked him if he shouldn’t go upstairs to his wife and they could both deal with his big loss. But he then said something weird that I could not understand; ‘useless … gone …’ again I obviously thought he was referring to his baby, but he wasn’t…”

“You still love him, don’t you?” Stacey asked Jenna after Jenna finally told the entire story. This time not leaving anything out, even that she came close to getting up and close him in her arms and take away the hurt.  
“Don’t Stace, don’t do this to me. I have to get over him, I’m with Carson now and I am not going to leave him just because Catcher became ‘available’ again. He will not be interested in me. He needs someone like Mrs. Bl … Nancy.”  
“Why do you say that? Who says he wouldn’t be interested in you? Who says he should be with someone like Nancy? He was with her once and look where that got him? Heartbroken and alone. And look where you are, heartbroken and dating someone who is even less suitable for you. Don’t say stuff like he’s not a real match for you or you are not right for him when you do not even know that for sure. I know that chances are small of anything like that happening, but don’t throw it away and stay with Carson just because you feel he is your only choice.”  
“I know, Stace, I know”

They talked about Catcher and Carson for a little while longer. Until Stacey noticed how uncomfortable Jenna was getting. She knew Jenna was making things hard on herself and that she realised that being with Carson might, after all, not be the best solution, but she would not just get out of it now. She felt she was committed to Carson now and she couldn’t just break up, just because Catcher was free again. Stacey changed the subject quickly and that evening they went out to one of their favourite clubs, forgetting all about that grey-eyed man and Carson.

That next Monday, Jenna went back to work, still struggling with her feelings for both Carson and Catcher. When the lift doors opened, Mary Litzer was smiling at her a bit too brightly.

“Good morning Mary”  
“And a very good morning to you, dear. Did you have a nice weekend?”

 _What is up with her? I know she is a very bright and happy person, but never on Monday’s._

“Yes, I did, actually. Thank you for asking. And how was yours?”  
“Fine, dear. But I doubt it, it was as good as yours.”  
“W-What do you mean?”  
“You’ll find out soon enough, dear”

 _Okay, she definitely smoked something she should not have._

No, she hadn’t and Jenna found out why when she opened up the doors to her mail room. There stood a beautiful bouquet of flowers in various colours. Her entire office smelled lovely and the colours brightened up her already colourful office even more. She rushed over to look for a card and she found one hidden in between a bunch of flowers. The little envelope was sealed shut and thus no one other than her had been able to read it.

“So, what does the card say?” Mary, Karen and Vicky were behind her, all of them carrying that same smile that Mary was already supporting when Jenna walked in the office a few minutes earlier.  
“Oh, ehm … th-there is no card.” Jenna lied through her teeth. The card was actually quite hidden, so there could have been a chance that no one had seen it yet.  
“Really? Are they your boyfriends’? What a gentleman he is. We should all be so lucky.”  
“I-I guess. They are gorgeous, aren’t they? I guess I am pretty lucky with Carson. He really is very sweet.”

 _Yet, this is so unlike him. Maybe he found out about that I found out about that fake engagement and this is his way of making up? Or this is just his way of trying to get me to agree to a marriage? Is he really that sick and desperate to get me to marry him? Who does he think he is? He cannot expect me to just drop everything and jump into a marriage with him._

 _Again, Jen, you are jumping to conclusions. Just read the card before you black his eye._

“Well, lucky one, we will leave you to enjoy your flowers in silence.” And with Vicky’s words the ladies walked off towards their own desks. Karen had that weird look in her eyes again, that same look she usually had just before she would start telling juicy stories.

 _I guess I will be the topic of her stories today, ah well, I don’t care. Not now. These flowers are truly gorgeous. Where is that card again? First I’d better make sure no one is walking in before they see this card. Why won’t I show it to anyone? Is it because I still do not trust Carson entirely?_

Last night, just before Jenna went to bed, she got a telephone call from Carson. Sugar coating his every word; telling her how much he loved her.

 _Come on, we’ve only gone out for a month. Get real. You cannot love someone that quickly, can you?_

Telling her he couldn’t wait to see her again, that he wanted her to come over that next weekend.

 _Excuse me? Whatever happened to the guy going over to see the girl?_

“But darling, I have not seen you for a week and it will be at least another week until I can and I really miss you. So does your mother, you know?”

 _Why on earth are you bringing my mother into this?_

“I ran into her this week and she told me she just hates it that you live so far away.”

 _Ah, here we go ‘can’t you at least consider moving a bit closer?’_

“Wouldn’t it be a lot better if you moved back home again? I know you love your little place in the big city, but you don’t belong there Jenny. You belong here. Please just tell me you will at least think about this?”

 _Who is Jenny? And why is he calling me that? What am I, 5?_

“Carson, you know how I fe…”  
“Honey, come on, admit it, you loved living here. I am sure you will never regret moving back”  
“Maybe …”  
“Thanks sweetheart, I knew you would open your eyes once someone told you”

 _Darling, sweetheart, honey, JENNY?_

“I didn’t say I would do it, I was TRYING to tell you that MAYBE in a few YEARS time, if I ever get tired of living here, I MIGHT reconsider moving back. But that will be AT LEAST a few more years, seriously.”  
“Well see. But are you coming over this weekend? Please, please, pretty please?”

 _With a sugar on top?  
On one hand I want to scream to tell him to just come over here. Why do I have to be the one to come over every time? But on the other hand, if he comes over here, I just know he will try to get into my bed and I am really not ready for him there yet._

“I’ll think about it. I have some stuff to do this weekend”

 _I wonder if he will suggest coming over himself…_

“Oh come on, what could possibly be more important than visiting your boyfriend and family?”  
“My house is a pigsty; I really have to clean up here…”  
“Clean later, come now”  
“MAYBE!”

In the background she clearly heard the doorbell ring, twice even.

“Ehm, well, just let me know when you leave on Saturday morning okay? I will make sure I am at your parents when you arrive. Bye Darling, talk to you soon.”

 _Did you just brush me off? Plus he just assumes again that I will just drop everything and come over to visit. I really do have to clean up here. Maybe I will go, after a bit more grovelling from his side, hihi._

After she hung up, she fell asleep a lot faster than she had figured and she dreamed of Carson seducing her, but when Catcher appeared on her dream-stage, she brushed off her boyfriend, like he had done her on the phone, and went to Catcher and did things to him that would normally make her cheeks flush crimson.

But I am getting off track here, Jenna had a card to open, remember?

Jenna closed the door to her mail room and went back to the beautiful arrangement and carefully got out the small envelope from between the flowers. She opened the envelope carefully with scissors so she wouldn’t rip the small envelopment. Inside was a small piece of baby blue paper. As she unfolded the piece of paper and read the contents of it, she gasped in amazement and dropped it on the floor.

 _No way is this real. This can’t be real, could it?_


	9. subchapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Subchapter 1**

 **Catcher’s POV**

It took Catcher twice as long to get back to his apartment. For some weird reason (well to him anyway) he could not get a cab (it never occurred to him that his state of dress made cabdrivers drive past him). Once he finally did get home, he made that dreaded telephone call to his office. He made sure no one knew where he really was and made it even sound like he was still in Maine. Once he finally got Peter McManus on the line, he decided to tell him about what happened. Before he had a chance though, Peter had already told him he was coming right over, that he should not worry about anything and hung up.

He made his way towards the shower, wanting to get out of his dirty clothes. His thoughts went back to the woman who helped him. What was it? Jenna?

He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her. She had been so kind and helpful to him. She had treated him as if she didn’t care ‘who he was’, she just noticed a person needing help. That’s what it felt like, anyway. Also the fact that she made sure no one had seen who the sad figure was, just to save his reputation, made him all warm up inside. It was also the first time she did not blush or stutter in his presence. He had always thought that was kind of cute when she did that. He knew he had a reputation when it came to his looks and most women never tried to hide their attraction towards him, but she did. It was as if she was embarrassed about it.

There is no reason to deny he knew she was attracted to him, I mean, come on, we are talking about Catcher Block here; ladies man, mans man, man about town! But he did not know about the truth behind her affection. He had no idea that it wasn’t just a crush she had, he had no clue that in reality she was in love with him. Maybe that was for the best that he did not know, with the state he was in now, he could easily take advantage of the situation and thus of her. He needed to feel loved again and we all know what that could lead to and NO we do not want that to happen, not like that. But then again, he knew she has a crush on him and so it would still be easy to take that further, yet he couldn’t.

He loved her excuses most; “I guess it’s time for lunch now” that had to be his favourite. She had used food-excuses before. The first time he had met her, she had said something in the likes of not having had enough for breakfast.

Hang on, why was he thinking about her like that? He had only just lost a baby and his wife. He should not be thinking about women at all.

He stood under the spray of the shower for a while, not really thinking about anything. The hot water fell down his body as he shampooed his hair and washed himself. Finally the last few days were washed off as well. He had not had a decent shower for 3 days and he felt a lot better now.

Without realising it, his mind went back to the events of this morning and a certain pair of chocolate-brown eyes. She had even gotten him a cup of coffee, she had let him rest in her office and she just got it for him. It hadn’t been that girl with a crush who had done that, that was that woman who was just concerned about him. She had two sides to her; on one hand she was still kind of a girl, she giggled, blushed and when she had an exiting tail to tell her eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. On the other hand, she was all woman. According to Nancy, she had come up with a very well working mail delivery system, the way she dressed was very stylish, yet her own. She was concerned for anything and anyone who needed it and tried to help out where ever she could.

Had he paid that much attention to a woman he did not even know? He seemed to remember a lot about her from the last year. But why?

He only realised he must have been in the shower for quite a while when the water turned cold. He turned off the tabs, got out of the shower booth and slowly dried off his wet body. As always, he put his towel around his waist and got out his shaving kit. He thought about how often Nancy had helped him with this task. He had loved it so much when she would carefully shave off his facial hair. It usually ended in making wild and passionate love. Nancy was not a person to try out everything everywhere, but he didn’t care. So, he had to carry her to the bedroom every time the heat rose when they were in a different room? He got to love her thoroughly and completely. He had always thought that their lovemaking was the best he had ever known and as we all know he had known a lot of it before her. Well … before Nancy it hadn’t been lovemaking he had experienced, but sex.

Catcher was a man who loved having a woman in his arms, whether it was just making out or having sex, he loved it all. He loved seeing a woman change from sophisticated and all lady to fully turned on and wanton. The way their eyes changed colours during their different stages of arousal and the sounds they made when they gave into their release.

After he dressed, he made his way to the kitchen and started to make coffee. He realised that Peter could be here any minute and a fresh cup of coffee would be a warm welcome. While he waited for the kettle to heat, he walked towards his telephone and phoned his brother’s house. His brother had only just gotten a telephone so it was finally a bit easier to get in touch with him. Had Nancy decided to fall back in love with Jed 3 months earlier he would have had to take a chance and just drive up to his house without warning him. He couldn’t wait to write a letter and wait for a reply, that would take at least 3 days, he couldn’t wait 3 more days, he would go insane.

 _But what if he doesn’t want me to stay with him? Then what will I do?_

“Hello? This is Mrs. Block speaking.”  
“Hey Carly, it’s Catcher. H-how are you?”  
“Catcher? I don’t think I know anyone named Catcher. I heard my husband has a brother by that name, but he never calls, so it could not possibly be that Catcher.”  
“I know, I know, I am so sorry about that. Really, I am”  
“What is the matter, what happened? You sound awful. Is something wrong?” Carly always had treated her brother in law like she just had, but when he apologised for never calling or coming over, she heard the sorrow in his voice and knew that _something_ had to be wrong. She also knew that he wasn’t the person to just call for a chat, so something had to be really wrong.  
“Could I stay with you and Hoyt for a few days? A lot has happened over the last 2 weeks and I really need to get away from it all for a few days. I know I haven’t been the best brother in the world, but I would really like to change all that” He wasn’t lying; he really would love it to spend a lot more time with his brother and family.  
“Oh my, that bad? Get your behind in a car and come over here straight away. We will take care of you. We will hear what has happened as soon as you get here.”  
“Thanks Carly, you have no idea what this means to me right now. I have to wait for my boss who I also need to explain a few things to. As soon as he leaves I will jump in that car immediately.”

With a perfect timing, Peter rang the doorbell when Catcher hung up the phone.

“Catcher? Catcher, what is wrong? Why aren’t you in Maine with Nancy? Why isn’t Nancy here, but in Maine? Why won’t Nancy answer Vicky’s phone calls?”  
“Easy, Peter. Want some coffee?”  
“That bad, huh? I guess I’ll have a cup then.”

“I know it’s weird to come over here instead of making me come to the office, but after I tell you everything, hopefully, you will understand why I need some time off.”  
“This can’t be good, but go on, tell me all”  
“I am surprised Vicky has not told you everything yet. I would have thought Nancy would have already told Vicky everything.”  
“That’s what I tried to tell you. Vicky has been trying to phone you two for a number of days now, but no one will answer the telephone.”  
“Then she must have already moved in with … with … him!”  
“Him who? Moved where?”  
“Hang on, I will start from the beginning. After Nancy was released from the hospital that Sunday, we decided to visit her family for a few days, remember that? Anyway, after we had been there for a few days, we ran into an old friend of her called Jed O’Neal. Later that day I found out that he was not just an old friend of her, but an old boyfriend. We got to talking and even ended up having diner with the ba… him. After diner, as he walked us back home, we ended up talking at our front door. After a while I needed the loo, so I left and went in to do my business, when I returned however, I found Nancy in his arms and not because she tripped over something. Her eyes were full of passion and he was the one on the receiving end of it. I could not believe my eyes. I mean, how could this happen in a day? What had I done to throw her self into the arms of another man? When I asked her about it, she said she had never meant for it to happen, but the attraction that they had both thought was gone, was apparently still there! She said she is very sorry, but she is still deeply in love with Jed and she wants to find out if they really are meant to be. She never meant to hurt me, she said, but then she hurt me in the worst way possible. Even I have never cheated on any of my dates in front of their faces… that I know of. Anyway, they just looked at each other and thought it best if Nancy left with him straight away, instead of stay behind and talk about it some more. They felt that all that needed to be said, had been said. And that was that. She just packed up her things and left. At the door she gave me a kiss on my cheek and apologised again, wishing that it hadn’t ended like this, but that this was the right thing for her to do. She said she really had loved me all of these years, that she hadn’t lied all that time. How come that if she is telling the truth it still hurts and feels like betrayal?”

Peter was quiet for a few seconds, trying to find the right words to say, but what do you say after a story like this? ‘I’m sorry’ just doesn’t seem right.  
“…Wow … I did not see this coming.”  
Peter has never been one to say the most comforting words, now has he?  
“ … Ehm … but … w-what now? I mean … ehm. What is going to happen now? You said Nancy is still there, is she going to stay there? Are you going to divorce her? If she returns to New York, will you leave? Please tell me you will not leave, you are my star journalist, the magazine would not survive without you, I would not survive without you.”  
“Hang on there Tiger. I am not going anywhere. I don’t know if Nancy will come back to New York. I don’t think even she knows yet. Right now she is probably still too in love with the ba … him to think about things like that. As for divorcing her, as much as I dread that thought right now, I don’t think I have any choice. She will want to stay with him whether I want to or not. And to be very honest, I don’t think I could stay married to someone who betrayed me like that. When I made my vows, I meant them, I was going to love her and honour her through sickness and health, for better for worse until death do us part, not until someone else came along. I don’t hate her though, if that is what you are afraid of. I could never hate her, I love her. She just realised that she loves Jed more than me. Right now it is hard to cope, but in due time I am sure I will be able to handle it. Just give me time.”  
“Is there anything I can do for you? Or Vicky?”  
“Not right now Mac, but thank you anyway. I am going to my brother for a little while, to get my head straight, think about what I want and spend some time with him and his family.”  
“Wasn’t his wife pregnant? She should be due anytime now, right?”  
“Which time are you talking about?”  
“Which time? You told me they were expecting their first child”  
“Yeah Mac, I told you that 3 years ago. The OLDEST is two and a half. Their youngest is one!”  
“When did that happen? You never told me about a second child, let alone that the first one had already been born.”  
“A pregnancy lasts 9 months, it has been 3 years since I told you about it; you do the math, Mac. I thought you would have figured out by now. I don’t know why I never told you about it, probably because it was something I was entirely not ready for.”  
“Take as long as you need, maybe work from your brother’s for a little while. Just keep me up to date, okay?”  
“Thanks Mac. Hey, maybe my niece and nephew are worth a scoop.”

After Peter finally left, Catcher was finally able to pack up some suitcases. Everywhere he looked though, he was reminded of what he had lost. Her closet had not been cleared out yet, her shoes were still on the floor. Her scent was still everywhere. A scent that he loved so much; it was so ‘Nancy’. In the bathroom, he found her shampoo still uncapped near the shower. Her nightgown still hung at the back of the bathroom door. For the umpteenth time that week he fell to the floor, sobbing his eyes out. He just could not believe how much his life had changed in such a short period of time. The feeling of ‘someone must really hate him’ had past his mind numerous times over the last week, as had been the question ‘is this my payment for my bachelor life?’

He would not clear up all Nancy’s belongings yet. He would take care of that when he would come back. If he would do that right now, he wasn’t sure if everything would remain in one piece.

 _Maybe she will return in the week I am away, then she could do it all herself. If she wants to see me, she can call Peter and Vicky; they will tell her where I am._

After Catcher had packed his bags, he took a taxi to his garage where he stored his car and put his suitcase in the trunk. The drive up to his brother was long, about 3 hours, but the scenery was lovely. Before he left, he had already taken the top of the convertible down, so he could enjoy the beautiful weather too.

As Catcher parked the car on the drive way, his brother Hoyt already walked out of the house, welcoming his little brother with a big hug. They used to be very close, but when Catcher moved to New York and became the most wanted man of the big city, their contact became less. They would visit each other on birthdays, but that would be it. After a while even that became a rarity and thus it had already been 3 years since they had last seen each other.

Hoyt got out Catcher’s suitcase and they made their way into the cosy little house. Hoyt was a farmer and he and his wife owned a few cows, chickens, pigs, sheep and horses. They actually made a good living and loved the farm life. Hoyt Block sr. had also been a farmer and he had brought up his sons to become farmers too. At an early age Catcher had found out that that life was not meant for him and journalism was something he really wanted. When Hoyt came to America about 15 years ago, he brought his little brother with him and at first Catcher stayed at the farm and helped out, until the call of the big city became too big and he moved to New York.

Inside the house, he was greeted with the same big hug from his sister in law. In the corner of his eyes he noticed 2 pairs of eyes watching him in fascination. How could he have stayed away from them? They had no idea who he was, probably all they knew was that they had an uncle who lived in the city.

The following days Catcher spent with his brother and family. After spending some time with the children, he could not believe how stupid he had been for not going to see them any sooner. He felt a sting of jealousy, remembering that his child was taken from him. But he also knew that he would have his own children one day. He was still young, there was still enough time.

But on the 4th night, Hoyt sat Catcher down and asked him if he was finally ready to tell him what was the matter. Hoyt had seen the look in Catcher’s eyes, whenever he was playing with Gina and Lance and he knew there was a lot more than what he thought could be wrong. When Catcher phoned him just before he came over, Hoyt just figured that he and his wife were fighting or something. But seeing his little brother like this, he knew that it could not have been ‘just a fight’. There was a lot more and Hoyt wanted to know what, maybe he could help him, if he knew.

Catcher took a deep breath and told the entire story again, even telling him about that Monday morning in Jenna’s office. Hoyt could not believe his ears. First of all, his brother was really in love? He also finally understood why he was never invited to the wedding. It wasn’t because Catcher only wanted New York’s elite, but they just eloped, a romantic gesture. Now that was something he would also try to explain to their mother now. He felt so sorry for his brother when he heard about the miscarriage. That explained the look in Catcher’s eyes when he played with his children.

He couldn’t believe how much his brother had changed since the last time he had seen him. The last time he was this bachelor stud, partying with the elite and not thinking about settling down. Even the thought of marriage gave him a rash. Now, all he wanted was a beautiful loving wife, children who adored him and a homey life.

Hoyt gave Catcher advice as well as he could. He was very glad that someone at Nancy’s office had helped him out. At the end of the evening Catcher was so relieved that he got everything off his chest, including Jenna. He felt almost refreshed and ready to face the world again. They decided that Catcher would stay for the rest of the week and help out on the farm, play with the children and just enjoy his time off. That next day the brothers would take the horses out and make a day of it.

That was one of the things that Catcher really missed about the farm life. He loved taking out his horse and go out for a long ride. Hoyt still took care of Silver for Catcher and of course there was no question as to which horse Catcher was going to ride that day.

When Catcher returned to his apartment in the city on Sunday evening, he noticed that Nancy had been by and picked up a few things. Not everything was gone, but most of her clothing had been gone. It hurt to see the empty closet, but it didn’t hurt as much as he had feared. There was a little note, telling him that she would come by when it would convenience him. He only had to call her at the office for an appointment and she would come over. She had left the key to his apartment in the same envelope as the note. That probably hurt him more than the empty closet had.

Thinking about calling Nancy at the office, made his mind go back to Jenna again. He was still so grateful for her help, he knew he would not have made it through in the way he had the last week, if it hadn’t been for her. And with that thought, he dropped his bags and made his way to the phone; he had a few phone calls to make.

“Hey baby, I figured you’d be up still. I need you to do something for me”

 

(A/N remember the car Ewan bought when he was shooting DWL, I thought it’d be funny if Catcher owned it. I thought it was also very Catcher-like to own that car)


	10. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 8**

 

 _No way is this real. This can’t be real, could it?_

 **Thank you for all you have done for me.  
That little gesture saved me from making big mistakes.  
I will be forever grateful**

 **Love,  
Catcher**

 _This can’t be real, someone is playing with me. I will not believe that he would have actually sent me flowers, just because I gave him a cup of coffee. These flowers are beautiful though and they smell lovely. I wonder who really sent them, Stacey would be crazy enough to do something like this. I will try to phone her later today, find out how much she knows about these flowers. Funny how I could never picture Carson doing anything like this. I bet he would even forget them on a wedding anniversary._

What was also ‘funny’, well, you couldn’t call it funny, really. ‘Weird’ is probably more appropriate. What was also very weird; the fact that her belly still never flip-flopped when Jenna thought of Carson, but when her mind went back to Catcher her entire body seemed to tingle. The mere thought of this note being real made her entire inside turn upside down and her head dizzy with excitement. She couldn’t help but think of what it would be like if Catcher was hers instead of Carson, what it would be like to kiss him, hold him, and make love to him.

 _Stop it, Jen! Good grief, just get over him. He did not send these flowers, he is not worth waiting for because he is not meant for you. You know that! You love Carson, not Catcher. CARSON!_

But does she really?

She has been telling herself that for over a month now, but then why does it feel so weird to think of herself with him? Why does she not want to go visit home this upcoming weekend? Why does the thought of eventually making love to Carson make her nauseous? How come she could never ever picture herself actually ‘making love’ to Carson, but whenever she thinks of Catcher she can’t imagine doing anything but just that?

She put the card away in her purse, hoping it would get her mind off of Catcher … yeah right!

Up to a point it actually did work, even to her surprise. She went about her normal daily routine, even walked into Nancy Brown’s office without flushing too much. Nancy had returned to calling herself Brown again, though no one really knew why. She had never made a statement as to why she wanted to be called by her maiden name again and also never announced an official break up. However, the office gossip had ten folded ever since. Unfortunately in all stories Catcher had been the bad guy and Nancy the victim. It never entered Jenna’s thoughts that Catcher could have been the wrong one in this tale. She had believed him when he told her the little bits that he had. However, she also had this weird feeling that Nancy was not the bad guy either. She had this feeling that there was no ‘bad guy’ in this story. Yes, Nancy had left Catcher for another man, but somehow that could not have been the entire story. She had seen Nancy whenever Catcher was mentioned before they split up and the look in her eyes was a look of love. She really truly had loved Catcher, no question. Just why she had made this rash decision to leave him for someone else, was beyond her.

After her morning rounds, she went over to the coffee room to pour herself a cup of the blackest and strongest coffee she had ever had. She couldn’t care less whether it was even the least bit drinkable. And off course, as soon as she neared the coffee room she already heard the unmistakable voice of Karen. Did that woman ever work?

“I spoke with Nancy this morning and guess what?” she told Belinda from accounting “Catcher told her he wanted a _threesome_ ’” She whispered the last word for dramatic effect and as if she was embarrassed to say it. But I think we all know that _that_ is not true, she couldn’t care less what she said, as long as it was shocking.  
“He did _what_? Belinda’s cheeks flushed crimson. “When?”

“Apparently just before they split up. Catcher came home one night, already with a girl in tow and he just bluntly told his wife that the girl would be spending the night with them, in the same bed! He even made her watch while he did … well … you know … and after that he _made_ her kiss that girl and do stuff together”  
“No way!”  
“Oh yes, he did and I will tell you what else he did …”

No, she didn’t

“For the love of god, Karen, get a life. When will you ever stop trying to ruin other people’s lives and actually start telling true tales around here?”  
“Jenna! What a surprise. As a matter of fact, this IS the truth, heard it from the horses mouth herself”  
“Really? Did you now? Then you probably won’t mind if I asked her myself, you must have left out a few details and I cannot wait to hear those too”  
“Lying doesn’t suit you, Jenna, so you might as well drop that act. I know you have the hots for Catcher and that is why you will never ever see the bad in him. Heck, you probably think he is the victim here?”  
“I am not saying anything in this matter. In fact, I am staying far away from that. I believe that something happened that made Ms. Brown decide to take on her maiden name again, whatever that was, I do not know and I have no intentions to find out too. Whatever happened between those two is their business and definitely not ours, ESPECIALLY yours. Now IF Ms. Brown has actually told you this story, which I seriously doubt, and she herself actually admits telling you this, then I will apologise, but since we all know that Ms. Brown is not one to walk around, sharing her private life with everyone, I know that you are lying.”  
“Lying about what?”  
“Nancy!” Karen said, her face turning the deepest colour red you could possibly imagine.  
“Hello, Ms. Brown!” Jenna also responded, though instead of that deep colour red that Karen was carrying, she was smiling bright. Now if only the truth was to be told now, her day would be complete.  
“Hi Jenna, Belinda, Karen. Now what were you girls talking about? I haven’t heard a good gossip in a while so who was lying and what were they lying about?”

I think an ‘oops’ is in order right now, don’t you think?

“No one was lying here, Mrs. Blo … I mean Barba … Ms. Brown” Belinda tried to get out. She was such a naïve girl. Sweet, smart, but very, very naïve. “Karen just told us what happened between you and your husb… Mr. Block.”  
“Really? And what has happened? I am very curious to hear the stories that are going around right now. Please do tell me”  
“But you were the one to tell Karen, Ms. Brown. Don’t you remember?” Like I said; sweet but very naïve. “She told us that you yourself told her about the threesome and that you had to do all these things with this girl.”  
“Really now? And what happened after that? I am dying to find that out too. Karen, what else did I ‘tell’ you?”  
“Well … ehm … okay, I only told her what I heard from Kyle from personnel who heard it from someone else again.”  
“But Belinda here just said that I told you this so called story. Now which is it? Never mind, you’d better have your desk cleaned out before lunch. You no longer work here. Girls, may I see you in my office please?”

 _Oh god, we are next_

“Yes Miss” Jenna replied quickly.

 _Well, it was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it? She will just excuse of our services, like she had done with Karen, just not so openly. We can also clear out our desks and leave before lunch. She saw us talk to Karen, so she must assume we were in on it too. Poor Ms. Brown. First losing her child, then leaving her husband for who knows why and now her staff turns against her by gossiping lies about her._

Why Jenna wanted to defend Nancy so badly, she didn’t understand. She had this weird feeling that there was just a lot more to the story than she had heard so far. She just knew that Nancy wasn’t entirely the bad guy. If only she knew why she felt this so strongly.

Belinda and Jenna both made their way to Nancy’s office quietly. Just like Jenna, Belinda too felt the fear of losing her job. They meekly sat down in the chairs opposite of Nancy’s desk and waited for Nancy to enter and give them the bad news. When Nancy entered, she was carrying 3 cups of coffee.

“Hello girls, thank you for seeing me straight away. I brought your coffees with me as you forgot them when you left the coffee room.”

 _Oops_

“Well, the reason why I asked you both in here. I’ll come straight to business. I heard everything that was said in the coffee room earlier. And then I mean everything! From when Karen started telling you what I apparently told you to the point where I walked into the room. When Karen said my name and that I was the one to tell her that story, I decided then and there that she was history. I have never fired anyone in my life and I was hoping that it would be a while until I actually had to, but I will just not tolerate such behaviour in my office. If you decide to spread lies like those then do so in your own free time, when you know I will never find out.

I also heard your defences and your disbelief. I was very afraid that more of my staff would participate in gossip like that, especially since there is a lot to speculate about what has exactly happened over the last few weeks. I will not tell you about that, since it is my own private life and not one to share with the world. But I will tell you that what Karen just told you is utter nonsense. In all the time I have known Catcher Block he has been nothing but good to me and it really hurts me too that we will no longer be together. The real reason it not of importance to you, but I am sure you will find out about some of it sooner or later. If, at any time, you really want to know whether a story is true or not, please do not go to other sources who cannot know a bit about it. If you come to me, I will be able to tell you whether it is true or not. I am involved in it, so I should know about it, shouldn’t I?”

Nancy was angry. Angry because so many lies were spread, angry because so many people wanted to believe those lies. She had to calm herself down and took a long sip of her coffee. She knew people wanted to know what happened, but she just was not ready to tell everyone. Besides, why should she tell everyone? Didn’t she just tell 2 of her staff that her life was private and that she would keep it that way? She also just did not want to tell anyone yet, though it burned not to. Maybe it was time to talk to Vicky now. Vicky was still the best friend she could ever hope for, save Catcher. She only hoped that Vicky would still listen to her. She still had not told her friend anything that had happened since she left with Catcher to Maine. She had not even officially told her that she and Catcher broke up, let alone why. She took another sip of her coffee and she let the hot liquid warm her body. When she looked up again, she continued:

“I am not firing you, so you can stop worrying. I can see that in your faces. I have no reason to fire you, now have I? You stood up for me and denied that these accusations could be true. I do however want to remind you that if I ever do catch you doing that exact same thing, that you will be fired.”

Another sip, she regretted that her cup was almost empty. Those sips were easy to fill the spaces where she figured out what to say next.

“I will come with some sort of statement soon, even though I still believe that I do not have to. But, in a way, I feel like I owe it to everyone. Now, I think it is about time for you girls to catch that lunch break and hopefully afterwards you will happily return to your seats. If you already have any questions about what you might have heard before, please tell me now, even if you want to leave the source anonymous.”

“Well, I have to be honest here and tell you that there have been an awful lot of stories flying around, but we know that they can not be true. Most of them have been spread by Karen, I will not even lie about that. Do not worry Ms. Brown, we are all grown ups here and we know when a story is true or not. If you want to tell everyone what happened, we would all appreciate it, but like you said; your life is private!”

Huh, maybe Belinda isn’t so naïve after all.

“Thank you Belinda. I think I really needed to hear that. Now, just remember what I told you, all of it.”

And with these words, they were excused out of Nancy’s office. Jenna walked back to her own mail room and thought about what Nancy had said. She would have had every right to fire her too. She had been in that same coffee room, talking about her, albeit defending her. If Nancy had not heard all of what had been said in there, she was sure she would have lost her job too.

When she reached her desk, she noticed the bouquet of flowers again. She had completely forgotten about them. She smelled them again, they smelled so good.

 _Would he really have sent them?_

~

After work, Jenna carried the beautiful bundle of flowers to her car. She didn’t want to leave them at the office. All day long people had asked her about them and who the mystery sender was. Every time she had to tell them that she did not know, but they were probably from her boyfriend. No way did he send them, but let them think it. Also she could not have them around all day. She was constantly reminded of that note and kept wondering who really sent them. She needed her full concentration if she wanted to function at her job. She couldn’t keep being distracted that much all day long.

When she got home, she was greeted by her favourite room mate; her cat Mr. Mister. She was still so happy she had kept the little creature when she first found him at the side of the road. He turned into this beautiful red exotic. She had kept him in the garage until she finally got her key to her apartment. As soon as she did, she immediately moved him to her new place. She told her parents that she found him at the side of the road (which was true) when she drove over to get the key. She loved his attitude, he thought he was king and everybody adored him. Whenever she sat down to pet him, he looked as if she was ‘worshipping his fur’. He ‘demanded’ to be fed at correct times. Do not try to even postpone feeding him for even 3 minutes or he will come and get you and he does not give a hoot if you are on the telephone. But luckily his royal furriness also had a heart and tried to help Jenna with her feelings whenever she needed it. Whenever she needed a listening ear, he was there for her. Listening to her as if he understood every word. Whenever she needed the comfort, he was there, comfortable on her lap, letting her pet him until she felt better again.

6 pm was one of those scheduled feeding times and she still had 3 minutes to spare. She decided to try her luck and put the flowers in water first. If only she could find that darn vase. Where did she leave it last time? After searching frantically for a few minutes she gave up and put them in the sink with a little water. She wanted mister by her side tonight and that would never happen if she was late with feeding him. After putting down his bowl and the mister was eating happily, she returned to her former task and started looking for that vase again. Unfortunately the search had to wait again as the phone rang.

“Hello? This is Jenna Taylor.”  
“Have you fed him yet?” Only Stacey could start a conversation like that.  
“Yes I have … talk. Hang on, are you still at work?”

 _Please tell me that you finally have that telephone you have been waiting for, for so long._

“Nope, the telephone has been installed today. I will give you the number later. My father wrote it down somewhere and he is out right now. Isn’t it fantastic? Now you can finally call me whenever you need to or whenever you finally realise you came to your senses and dumped Carson.”  
“Stace, stop it. You are just going to have to get used to us dating. Oh, by the way, thank you for the lovely flowers. They are beautiful.”  
“Which flowers? What are you talking about?”  
“Don’t play dumb, Stace, I know you sent them. No one else would have sent them. I know I am dating the man, but not even Carson would have sent me these beauties.”  
“What beauties? Jen, you are rambling again. Who sent you flowers and why have you not called me at work to tell me this?”  
“Because I figured you were the one to send them. I have also been so busy at work today that I never found the time to telephone you. You really did not send them?”  
“No. Wasn’t there a card or something? I cannot imagine someone sending you flowers without at least a little note from who they are.”  
“Yes, there is a card, but I can’t believe that he actually would have sent them?”  
“Who HE? Did Carson send you flowers? If he did, I have to change my thoughts of him; I never figured he would do something actually … romantic”  
“No, he didn’t. I wish he would though.”  
“But then … who did? Jen, what did the card say? You have to tell me now, I will not hang up until you have told me.”  
“Okay, I will read you the note, but you have to promise me not to freak out.”  
“I have officially crossed my fingers and I say to you ‘I promise not to freak out’”  
“Okay, okay, I’ll try to promise. Is that better?”  
“No, it’s not, but I know that that is the best I can get. Okay, here it goes. The note said: _Thank you for all you have done for me. That little gesture saved me from making big mistakes. I will be forever grateful. Love, Catcher_ ”  
“No Way! You are lying.”  
“Now, why would I make something like that up? Why do you think I asked you if you sent them? I still do not believe he actually sent them. Who do you think really sent them?”  
“What name did the card say again?”  
“Stace!”  
“Just answer my question, will you?”  
“Catcher! Catcher is at the bottom of the note”  
“Then I think you have your answer. Why would someone lie about that? From what you have told me about the man, I don’t think this is a joke from someone. Or have you already forgotten you actually did help him last week?”  
“Oh, come on, Stace, all I did was get the man a cup of coffee, I did not get him a winning lottery ticket. There is absolutely no need to send flowers because of a cup of coffee.”  
Stacey decided to let it lie for now, she knew the flowers were from Catcher and she also knew that Jenna knew that too.

“So, are you coming over this weekend like a puppy listening to its owner or are we going to go out this weekend and meet some gorgeous eligible men?”  
“Why would I want to go and meet men? I already have one, remember?”  
“No you do not, you have a sick guy who’s only interested in you for one thing. So, are we? Please, please, pretty please? We haven’t gone out in such a long time now.”  
“But I haven’t been over in a few weeks and I really should see Carson again. Why don’t we go out there?”  
“Did you just hear what you just said? Where do we go out? “The Burly Boar”? I do not think so, my dear. I want to meet men I never met, not my neighbours and their dogs. Come on, Jen. You know it’ll be fun. Please?”  
“Next weekend? I haven’t seen Carson in 2 weeks”  
“I saw him yesterday and he still looks the same like he did the last time you saw him, I promise. Now can we go? I promise I will try not to say anything nasty about Carson.”  
“Stace, I also have not seen my family in 2 weeks.”  
“Since when do you care about that?”  
“Since I really do miss Joey.”  
“Then we will ask him to come with us, ha!”  
“I assure you, he will not want to come along with us while you go man hunting. He will probably think I will be doing the same thing.”  
“Then he will go … woman hunting.”  
“I do not want to go with him when he does that. Sorry Stace, I am afraid you are just going to have to wait another week.”  
“Okay, I will give you my last card. Why don’t we ask Carson along too? Then you get to be with him and I still get to go out with you. And we will still ask Joey along, if that is what you really want.”  
“Now there is an idea I can live with. Just one problem; where would we leave everyone? My house is not that big.”  
“You have 2 couches and a double bed, Jen; you do the math.”  
“I am not sleeping in a bed with Carson. I am not ready for that yet. So, it’s either you or my brother and to be very honest, sleeping with my brother would be sick.”  
“And why is it that you are not ready to sleep with Carson yet? Is it because you still have doubts about him?”  
“Get that evil grin off your face, I can hear it through the telephone. No, it is not because of doubts. Yes, it is, you big liar. It’s because we are not at that stage yet. We have only kissed once and that was in front of my parents. Do you really think that I would go from a chaste kiss to full sex, just like that? I don’t think so missy.”  
“Yet you wanted to try out a one night stand after you read Nancy’s book.”  
“That is different.”  
“How is _that_ different?”  
“Because that one night stand is with someone I do not know and with Carson I am trying to build a future. I want to take my time and get to know him a lot better. I want our first time to be special.” _Well at least that is true. I do want to remember my first time with him and I want that memory to be a good one._  
“You really are falling for him aren’t you?”  
“I have been trying to tell you this for a month now, Stace.”  
“I just hope you really know what you are doing. Please tell me you are not with Carson just so you can get over Catcher.”  
“Stace!” _Pinocchio, what is happening to your nose? It is growing_  
“Okay, okay, I will believe you.” _Yet somehow my fingers just ended up crossed. I do not believe you Jen. You are even lying to yourself now. You ARE still in love with Catcher, you just don’t want to give in to that. But I will promise you, I will help you through it all._ Stacey just could not believe what her friend just told her was true. Carson was a rat and Jenna knew that, she just didn’t want to see it just yet. “Listen” she continued “Why don’t I call your brother and you call Carson to arrange things for this weekend. That way it will both save us a few telephone calls and you do not have to go through your interrogation with your family.”  
“I like the way you think, Stace”

Jenna first wrote down the telephone number from Stacey, so she could call her back when she had talked to Carson. Then she hung up and with heavy fingers, dialled Carson’s number. Why she dreaded to talk to him, she could not understand.

“Jackson” Was all the other line said  
“Carson? Is that you? It’s Jenna.”  
“Hey sweetie pie. How are you? I miss you.”  
“Really? I miss you too. Listen, I wanted to ask you something about this weeke…”  
“Yes, about this weekend. I actually made plans for it, so if you are not coming over, that is fine.”  
“What do you mean ‘you made plans’? I thought you really, really, really wanted me to come over?”  
“Yes, I did, really, I did. But … my friends asked me to go … fishing with them and I just could not refuse, you understand, don’t you?”  
“Fishing? You would rather go fishing than spend time with me?”  
“Oh, sweetie. Of course I would rather spend time with you. You know I would. But I have not seen them for such a long time.”  
“When was the last time you saw them? I thought you and the boys went out just about every weekend.”  
“We used to, but things are different now. Most of us are married now and they all have a wife to look after. I think I actually am the only one who is not married.”  
“So, when was the last time you actually spent time together?”  
“A whole month, honey. I have not seen my friends for a whole month. Wouldn’t you go crazy if you hadn’t seen Stacey for a month?”  
“In a way I would, but if I had to choose between Stacey and my boyfriend, my choice would not be so hard.”  
“See, I knew you would understand. I wish I could change my weekend around so I could spend time with you, but I guess we will just have to wait another week to see each other. Your mother is really looking forward to seeing you this weekend though. I already told her you were coming, before I made those other plans.”   
“But I never told you I was going to come over. I told you I would think about it and I would let you know this week. I am not coming over this weekend; I wanted to ask you over to my place.”  
“But I already told your mother. You wouldn’t cancel on your mother, would you?”   
“You are trying to make me feel guilty for something you did. I am still not coming over though.”

After her last statement, she heard him mutter something she could not hear clearly. He was talking to someone in the room. Then he abruptly told her he had to go, because one of his friends just arrived.

“I thought you were seeing them this weekend?”   
“No, this is another friend. I told you, I hardly see them anymore. Listen darling, I miss you so much. We will see each other next week, I promise you. I will tell your mother that you have changed your plans around and that you will come over next week.  
“Excuse me? Stop making plans for me, Carson. I will come over when I decide. Why don’t **you** come over here next weekend?”  
“Sweetie pie, you know I would come over in a heart beat, but you also have not seen your family in such a long time.”  
“Stop bringing my family into this. I know how long it has been since I last saw them.”   
“Then you know that you should go and visit them”   
“I will visit them when I do. I will **think** about **maybe** visiting them next weekend, though I would rather have you come over to visit me. That way we can actually spend some time together, just you and me, no one else.” _If this won’t work, nothing will_

“I will think about it. , though you really should think about coming over here. I will find a way for us to be alone. We can always just tell your parents that we are going to a movie or something. Barney won’t mind if we wanted to use his place for an hour or two.”

 _I will not even ask him what he has planned, but if he thinks I will actually agree to that, he has another thing coming._

“Anyway, sweetheart, I really have to go now. I love you, bye.”

 _I love you? Ugh._

 _I wish he would just let me live my life the way I want it to. Who does he think he is, trying to tell me what to do? I told him before that I will live the way I want to and no one, not even him, is going to tell me what to do, no matter how much I might love them._

Jenny was proud for standing up for herself, even to her boyfriend. She loved the life she now led and no one was going to take that away from her. It just bothered her that he would actually cancel on his girlfriend to be with his friends. She knew for sure that he had seen them very recently, why he lied about that, she didn’t understand. What she also did not understand was the relief she felt that he would not be joining them on their night on the town.

 _When did mister crawl on my lap and how long have I been petting him?_

After hanging up on Carson, she phoned back Stacey. She told her that Carson would not be joining them this weekend because of other arranged plans. However, she left out the part where they almost fought though. She didn’t want to fuel the fire that Stacey had already lit about Carson. Jenna knew Stacey could not stand the guy.

Stacey, in the meantime, had phoned Jenna’s brother to ask him to come and stay with Jenna for the weekend and he loved the idea. Though he did not understand why he was invited to visit his sister when she was allegedly coming over to visit him and his family. Apparently Joey and Jenna’s mother had been so exited that Jenna was coming over, that she had told everyone she was coming, which made Jenna feel even more guilty. She really did not like it one bit that Carson had done this to her. 2 weeks wasn’t that long, now was it?

Jenna then had to explain not only to Stacey, but also later that evening to her mother, that Carson just told her mother that Jenna was coming over without Jenna actually agreeing to do so. Stacey loved every word of her explanation. This was just another reason why Jenna should leave Carson.

However her mother wasn’t too impressed with her daughter. First she ‘moves off to the big city, just so she can do something she can perfectly well also do here’ and then she ‘refuses to visit her family’. The accusation of ‘how could you forget about your family so quickly?’ was like a repeating chorus in an annoying song, she kept saying it over and over. When her mother finally eased down a bit, Jenna had to promise her mother that she would really, really, really come over that next weekend. She would even already come over on Friday evening instead of her planned Saturday morning.

All in all, it wasn’t her best day.

After Jenna finally hung up on her mother, her head was pounding from its headache and she dragged herself to bed. Not even bothering to take her clothes off, she was too tired. And if her day wasn’t bad enough, her dreams were even worse. All she dreamt about was that darned grey-eyed man again, bringing her flowers and then making the sweetest love to her and telling her how much he loved her.

Either someone ‘up there’ tried to tell her something, or that someone really hated her.


	11. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 9**

The following week felt like it would never end. Now that Karen was gone at work, it launched a whole new gossip-frenzy. The gossip was a lot less now that Karen was gone, but it definitely did not stop the stories from flying around. They were a lot less incredible, finally a lot more believable too. Jenna never participated in those stories; she was too scared to get another warning from Ms. Brown.

During the evenings she sat in her living room, trying to concentrate on the book she was reading at that moment, yet her mind usually wandered to the still beautiful bouquet on her dresser. She had taken out one flower to let it dry so she could save it. She knew she shouldn’t, that it would only cause her heartbreak, but somehow she ended up with that dried flower anyway.

She talked to her brother on the telephone about the upcoming weekend. She missed him so much; she could not wait for him to be there so she could talk to him face to face again. The last time she saw him was back home, but she never got a chance to really talk to him. Every time she was alone with him for just a minute, someone would walk into the room and intrude a conversation that had not even started yet. Now, with him coming over to her place, she knew that she would finally get to talk to him again, like they used to back home. Heck, she would have her 2 favourite people to talk to in her apartment for an entire weekend.

Instead of her promise to clean her apartment during the weekend, she also worked in her apartment to have it all cleaned up before Joey and Stacey showed up. She couldn’t have them stay over in a mess, now could she? Jenna probably sounds like a dirty slob by now, but it’s the opposite really. She likes her house nice and clean, but you know that every once in a while you just need an extra clean up.

Come Friday, Jenna was so exited; she couldn’t wait for her day to end at work. When she was finally able to go, she rushed home. She wanted to have a meal ready for her brother and her best friend. She knew it would be at least another 2 to 3 hours until they could get here, but she didn’t care. Everything just had to be perfect.

As soon as she entered her apartment, she noticed Mr. Mister looking at her with a look that could kill. She had stopped by a supermarket to pick up some extra things. Of course that meant that she was not back in time for Mister’s feeding and the little cat was not happy about that.

“I know, Missy, I know I am late, I will make something extra special for you, is that okay?”

Another angry look graced Mister’s face; he did not like it one little bit that she called him Missy again. She knew he hated that. Luckily Jenna prepared him an unexpected feast of a meal, so he was happy again. He could not help but give his Mistress a warning look though, which was accepted with a chuckle and a kiss on his nose.

3 hours later, a little later than Jenna expected, the meal was ready and Jenna was lighting some candles when the buzzer rang. Almost burning her fingers she quickly made her way to the door to let her company in.

“They’re here, Mister, now behave just like you promised.”

As soon as Stacey and Joey stepped inside, Jenna noticed 2 red faces or were they blushing? Jenna had always thought that Joey and Stacey would make a perfect couple but she dared not to set the two up. Jenna had always hated it when her mother did it to her and she had vowed that she would never do that to anyone else. She, now, just hoped that both Joey and Stacey would see it themselves one day and then of course fall hopelessly in love with each other.

“Are the cases you brought heavy? Your faces look like tomatoes.” It had to be the heavy cases; she had given up hope on the two of them falling in love.  
“… y-yes, they are. W-where can we leave them sis” Joey tried to tell her, though failing miserably.

 _What is going on? He is blushing now? I will find out why later tonight. I cannot wait for one of those old fashioned talks like we used to have._

“We’ll take care of that later, now come in, sit down at the table and dig in.”  
“You cooked for us, sis? Wow, if I had known _that_ I would not have indulged in a box of cookies on the way over here.”  
“And since when has that ever stopped your appetite?” Stacey playfully chimed in. It was a well-known fact that Joey loved food and due to a very fast metabolism he was able to eat as much as he liked. Men …

After dinner, they moved to the living room area again. Jenna thought that both Joey and Stacey were acting weird. As if they were hiding something, but they wouldn’t share it. Unfortunately both Joey and Stacey decided that they needed to talk about Carson to Jenna. They reminded her again what kind of a guy he really was and that they wouldn’t be surprised if he was already cheating on Jenna. Jenna told them to stop their attempts to get her to break up with Carson, because she wouldn’t. She told them that she loved him and she would not leave him until Carson proves to be unfaithful.

“Listen, if this is what you will continue to talk about, and then please do so without me. I am tired and going to bed.”  
“Jen, I’m sorry, please don’t go yet. We are just worried about you, that’s all.”   
“I know you are and I really appreciate it, but I would also like to hear some encouraging when it comes to Carson, tell me for just once how happy you are for me to have finally found someone to share my life with. I know what his reputation is, yet to me he is so sweet and he really seems to care about me. Please just have some faith in me for once and be happy.”  
“Please Jen, you are still mad at us, please sit down, don’t go to bed yet.”   
“Truly, I am not mad anymore, yet I _really_ am tired and that is why I am going to bed. Are you coming Stace, or do you want to stay out here a little longer?”

Stacey and Joey shared a look, which Jenna did not understand and then Stacey turned to Jenna again.

“I will come with you, Jen. ‘Night Joey”   
“’Night Stacey, ‘night sissy.”

~

In the middle of the night, Jenna woke up, thinking she heard something. When she looked up she noticed that Stacey wasn’t asleep in the bed they shared for this weekend.

 _Poor Stace, the girl has a bladder of an ant._

~

During breakfast that morning, Jenna found two very exhausted people at her table. Jenna understood Stacey’s probable reason, because her bladder had always been weak, but her brother was a real morning person.

“What is wrong with you guys? You both look like you haven’t slept a wink last night. And _why_ are you blushing? What is going on here? Don’t even try to talk around it, you owe me a story.”  
“I-I don’t know what you are talking about” said Joey with a shaking voice. He knew his face must have resembled a tomato, but he wasn’t ready to tell the truth yet. It was too soon.   
“What did I just tell you, Joe? And since when do you have difficulty telling me stuff? Is it because I moved out?”  
“No, Jen, you know that I could not ever keep anything from you. I love you and you know that.”   
“Then why start now? It is because Stacey is here? No, that cannot be it, because she looks the same as you do.”

 _If only they were tired because of what I hope they would be tired of, but I have given up that hope long ago._

Joey and Stacey shared another look, one that Jenna could not identify. Both Joey and Stacey knew that it was of no use to not tell Jenna what was going on. She would either not stop asking about it or she would find out herself. Plus it might be good for them to at least tell someone about what had happened that day before when they drove up to the city.

“Well?” Jenna was getting impatient. She knew that there was something going on. Did it have to do with Carson again? Did they know something about him that she did not? Did they find any proof that he might be cheating on her? Jenna was driving herself insane with insecurity.  
“Okay sis, but you maybe want to sit down for this.”  
“What is it? You are scaring me now. Does it have anything to do with Carson? Something you neglected to tell me yesterday?”  
“No, sweetie, I promise it has NOTHING to do with him. I just WISH it did have something to do with him, so you would finally open your eyes, but it doesn’t. But don’t worry; if you want me to, I would be happy to make up a story about him for you. Would that help?”   
“Stace! Stop trying to talk around it and get to the point. Now, what is going on? Why is it so hard for the both of you to tell me something which is obviously bothering you.”  
“Okay, here it goes. Ehmmm, please don’t be mad at us and please let us finish before you kill us. Ehhmmm, right, how do I start this?”  
“JOSEPH!”   
“Sorry, right, ehm, y-yesterday, during our drive up to you, me and Stacey started talking about stuff. You know, at first just general stuff, but then it turned to dating and whether any of us was dating anyone right now.”

 _No way? Would they finally?_

“Anyway, ehm, I, ehm, told Stacey that I wasn’t seeing anyone right now because I was trying to find the nerve to ask this girl I have had a crush on forever to go out with me.”  
“Are you talking about that girl you didn’t want to tell me about because you weren’t sure how she felt?”   
“That’s the one”  
“You mean you still had not asked her out? Wow! And I thought I was slow.”  
“Jen, did you want to hear this story or not?” Stacey interrupted Jenna “Anyway, I tried to find out who he was talking about, whether I knew the girl or not, but he wouldn’t give in, so I decided to leave it for a little while, I figured you knew anyway, so I would just ask you about it.”  
“You would have? Despite the answer?” Joey started blushing again, oh dear, he was in deep.  
“Yes” Stacey whispered, sporting the same blush on her cheeks.   
“To try to get her to stop asking about me and this girl I would not give away, I turned the conversation towards her and asked her about her boyfriends.”  
“So I, basically, told him the same thing. That there is this guy I really like, but he has never showed me any interest.”  
“See, the thing is, you know me, right Jen? You know that I DO NOT give up very easily and so I tried to pull it out of her, even though she really did not want to tell me.”  
“At this certain point, he finally asked me if he knew the guy and then made the mistake of looking at me. I couldn’t help it and I blushed like mad.”  
“I took that as a yes, so I started to name all the guys from home that I knew she knew. Yet, she answered no to every guy I mentioned. And her cheeks had almost turned purple from blushing.”  
“In the end I just couldn’t take it anymore and blurted it out”  
“You did? You never even told me who it is.”  
“I-I know and I am so so sorry, Jen. But you have to understand that I couldn’t.”  
“But, why couldn’t you? I thought we could tell each other everything”  
“Bec … Because I felt embarrassed to tell you about my crush on your brother”

The room fell silent, not even Mr. Mister made a sound. Jenna could not believe her ears. She wasn’t mad at Stacey, please do not think that. She was so happy for Stacey, happy that she finally told her the truth and that she could not imagine anyone more perfect for her best friend. Just one problem, Joey was in love with someone else.

“Oh, Stacey, I don’t know what to say.” Jenna said, giving her friend a sweet smile. Hopefully Stacey understood that Jenna was happy for her, but that she also felt sorry that her desires would not be answered.

“Ahem” Joey cleared his throat “as you can understand, I was just as stunned as you are. Heck, I had to stop the car and think about what she had just told me. My heart was beating so fast and I could hardly think straight anymore. I could not believe that she felt the same way as I did.”

Jenna turned her face towards her brother so fast that the entire room spinned. He didn’t just say what she thought he did, did he?

“Say again?”  
“Oh, please Jen, please don’t be mad.”  
“Wh … Why would I be mad? I just would like to hear my little brother say that last bit again, that’s all. I want to make sure I really heard what I thought I heard.”  
“Jen? Would you be very mad if we … kind of … went out … with each other? Would you be okay with that? Please tell me if you wouldn’t be.” Joey was so nervous now, what if Jenna didn’t like them dating?  
“I-I’m not mad. Really, why would I be? I just have to let this sink in, that’s all.”

Again the room went entirely silent. Both Stacey and Joey were too scared to talk; they were still not convinced that Jenna was okay with it. That is why they hadn’t told her about what had happened in the car the night before. That was also why Jenna was out of her bed during the night. They sat up talking about what to do next until the sun came up. Apparently that same subject was on Jenna’s mind too, because her face changed from a happy ponder to a darker frustration.

“Was that why you were out of bed last night? To sleep with my brother?”  
“NO, no Jen, of course not. We just had and still have a lot to talk about. About what is going to happen now, how we will continue from this moment on. We just sat up and talked for hours. Really, sis, you have to believe me. I would never do that so soon, or in your house, for that matter. We really sat up talking, you have to believe me.”  
“Please, Jen, please don’t think we would do something like that. Especially when we had not even talked to you about it.”  
So what is going to happen next? Are you going to tell mum and dad now?”  
“Not yet, we would like to keep this quiet for a little while. You would have been the first one we wanted to tell, but just not to the outside world yet. We do not know how people will react, I mean, I am older than he is.”  
“By 1 year, Stace, you are not a senior yet.”   
“I know that, you know that, but to anyone else, it sounds odd and you know that. For some weird reason a girl like me should find a man at least 3 years older. Do you have a problem with keeping us quiet?”  
“Of course not. I am so happy that you did decide to tell me though. I now finally understand why your faces looked so flushed when you arrived last night, or the looks you have been giving each other since. Can I now tell you guys something?”  
“You are breaking up with Carson and confess you have a thing for MY brother”  
“Stace, he is 7! Now THAT would be really sick. Anyway, for years I have thought that the two of you would make a perfect couple, but I thought that I was the only one thinking this.”  
“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I never knew that.”  
“How could I, Stace? If I did, it would have felt like match making and you know how I feel about that.”  
“That’s true. So you have felt what we have felt too all this time?”  
“That depends on how long you have been feeling this way.”  
“For quite some time now. A few years, I guess.” Joey looked at Stacey when he said this. Stacey did not know yet how long he had been in love with her, let alone that he was in love with her. Stacey only knew that he really liked her and how he had had this crush on her for years, but she has no idea that that crush turned into love a few years ago. Then again, Joey did not know yet that that feeling was mutual.   
“Then I guess I have felt it about as long as you have. So, will you now believe that I really am happy for you? That I could not ever be mad at you?”

At that remark, the two lovebirds looked at each other and leaned in to a soft kiss.

 _Look at that, isn’t that the sweetest? I wish I had what they have._

Holy Cow, I really have not seen Carson in too long a time if I get jealous over something I do have…. No, I don’t. I don’t have what they have. They feel everything that I am still waiting for to feel with Carson. But not to worry, it’ll come, I am sure of it….. I hope.

A few hours and two meals later, they were all dressed up and ready to go out. Joey had always wanted to check out a beatnik party, but the girls decided they wanted to go dancing and so they made their way to one of the better dance halls. After donning their coats and ordering some drinks, they made their way towards one of the empty booths. Something that was easier said than done, it was crowded tonight and there were hardly any empty ones left. When they seated themselves, Jenna found herself looking around to see if there were any nice men there.

Jenna! You shouldn’t do that, what would Carson think?

Yet, she couldn’t help it, her eyes kept scanning the crowd and when her eyes found the entrance again, she froze. Her heart started pounding and she just knew her cheeks looked flushed. There he was, wearing a stunning blue suite and looking even better than Jenna had remembered.

“Jenna, are you alright? You look both pale and crimson red.” Her brother asked Jenna.  
“Y-yes, I am fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Like I said, in mere seconds your face went pale, then red and now you have a combination of both. Something wrong with your drink?”  
N-no, nothing’s wrong. I am fine, really I am. Don’t worry.”

Stacey followed Jenna’s gaze, which was still glued to the same spot.

“That’s him, isn’t it? I recognize him from The Ed Sullivan Show. That is Catcher Block. Jenna, I have to hand it to you, you certainly have very good taste. That man looks even better in real life than when I saw him on TV.”  
“What do you mean, Stacey? Hang on, you mean that guy Jenna had a crush on before Carson hit the stage? Where is he? I am kind of curious now.”

While Stacey pointed Catcher out to Joey, Jenna wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Why was this happening to her? Why couldn’t life just for once be kind to her and let her get over this guy. The fact that Stacey was openly pointing him out to her brother wasn’t really helping either. In fact, Catcher noticed Stacey’s actions and noticed who was sitting next to the pointing finger. Peter McManus joined Catcher Block a few seconds later and Catcher purposefully walked over to Jenna’s booth.

In the meantime, Catcher got just about every lady in the house to turn around and watch him walk over to Jenna. Something that the dates from those ladies did not really appreciate. But can you blame them? If sex could walk, Catchers legs would be the ones to walk them.

 _Please don’t, please, please, please, don’t come over here. Don’t do this to me, just walk past pretend you don’t know me._

At times like that, prayers are never answered.

“Hello Jenna, how nice to see you again” Catcher said in his usual thick Scottish accent that made Jenna’s knees give in.  
“H-hello Mr. Block, very nice to see you again too.”  
“How many times have I told you to call me Catcher? Please”

 _Not once. You have told most of my colleagues though._

“Sorry, I guess I am so used to it, that I don’t even notice it anymore.”

 _Should I now sign my death sentence and introduce him to Stace and Joey, or should I shut up now and hope he walks away quickly?_

“Hi, I’m Joey Taylor, Jenna’s brother. Are you a colleague of her?”  
“Hello, I am Catcher Block, this is Peter McManus. No we are not colleagues; I work for a different magazine than your sister, a magazine that my friend here owns. How nice to meet you.”  
“Well, I guess that leaves me to finish introductions, I’m Stacey, Jenna’s friend.”  
“Are you meeting anyone here? Maybe you would like to join us in case you are not waiting for anyone? It’s very crowded in here and I doubt that you will find an empty booth left.” Joey said, sharing a look with Jenna.  
“Joe, don’t be rude. Of course they are waiting for people.”  
“We would love to join you, you don’t mind, do you Mac? I am sure that Vicky will not mind. Besides, Jenna works for her.

 _Why? Was I really such a bad person in a previous life to deserve this torture?_

“Jen, those beautiful flowers on your dresser, didn’t I see a card in there with someone called Catcher? Or is this someone different?”  
“Ah, you got my flowers. It was the least I could do. I really am grateful for your help.”

 _Was I a mass murderer? A Tyrant?_

“But I didn’t really do anything. I, _really_ , only got you a cup of coffee.”  
“No, you didn’t. You talked to me, even protected my reputation. That took a lot to do that. Even Mrs. Litzer never paid any attention to me, didn’t even recognize me when I sat on the floor near the lifts.”  
“I-it was n-nothing, really. But thank you for the flowers, th-ey were beautiful.” Just when Jenna thought her face could not possibly turn any more red, it just did.  
“I’m glad you liked them, I thought you were a coloured bouquet-kind-of-girl, was I right?”   
“I-I guess” _Your vocabulary is top-notch today, isn’t it?_ “S-so, please don’t think me too bold, but I hope that you are feeling better since the last time we spoke. You certainly do not look as painful as you did then.”  
“T-thank you, I feel much better, for as far as you can call it that. After I left I did phone my brother like you suggested and I stayed with them for a week”  
“Really? But that’s wonderful. I hope you had a nice time.”  
“I really did. I finally got to meet my niece and nephew and I really enjoyed myself and all thanks to you.”  
“Oh, please, you had already decided to go and visit your brother all by yourself”  
“But you gave me that last nudge that I needed. If you hadn’t told me I would have a fantastic time, I might not even have gone after all.”  
“Sure you would have. Did you have a nice time with your niece and nephew?”  
“Oh yes, they were wonderful. I had such a great time with them. Gina, the eldest, is now 3 and she is so smart. One morning she told me that I actually did not feed the pigs enough, she told me that they needed a whole bucket instead of ‘the handful I was giving them’. Can you believe that? I was actually corrected by a 3-year-old. And Lance is now 1 and I actually witnessed his first steps on his own. Even though I had only met the little guy 3 days earlier, I felt so proud of him.”  
“Isn’t it the most wonderful thing to see? They learn so much in the first 2 years.”

As they talked, they found that conversation between Jenna and Catcher got easier. After they talked about Catcher’s stay with his brother, they talked about that Monday Jenna found Catcher, about Nancy, about what happened after he came home from his brother and about the upcoming divorce. At the end of the evening, Jenna found herself being so at ease with him that it felt as if he had been her friend for years. She couldn’t believe how much she had enjoyed herself with him and that they had talked so easily.

With Carson, she found that having a serious conversation with him was hard. He could not care less about politics or the economy. Heck, he did not even like talking about his feelings (well, that is not entirely true, he never had any problem about talking about 1 certain feeling and I think we can all figure out which one I am talking about) yet here she was, talking to a man in a way she could never imagine talking about to Carson. She had not even noticed that her brother and her best friend had left the booth to go dancing nor that after Joey and Stacey returned that they had been in conversation with Peter. Even though Catcher had been talking to Jenna for a long time, Peter never left, not even to go to the restroom. He had never been so relieved to talk to Jenna’s brother and friend when they returned from the dance floor.

At the end of the evening, Catcher asked Jenna if he could give her a ring sometime and even to her own surprise she said yes.

 _Why not? It’s not as if Carson will ever find out, he will not even come over to see me, so he will also never answer my telephone calls before I can. Catcher just needs someone to talk to once in a while, why not let that someone be me?_

As they said their goodbyes, Catcher leaned down and kissed Jenna’s cheek and then walked off, leaving a very weak-kneed Jenna behind. Did she just fall deeper and deeper for Catcher or did her heart really just forget to beat a few times?


	12. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 10**

Have you ever waited for a telephone call which you knew would never come? Well, that is exactly how Jenna is feeling right now. It had been a week since he asked her if he could call her and she hadn’t heard anything yet. Of course she had not heard anything yet, because it was just a polite thing he said, he was never going to call her and she knew that. She just felt weird because she actually had given him her number.

 _I should never have done that. Stupid wine! Oh yes, she had had 1 glass of wine, but it is so easy to blame it on alcohol, isn’t it? What must he think of me? I had given it to him so easily. Why didn’t I tell him that I only gave it to him if he wanted to talk … duhh … that’s what the darn thing is for; talking. Please let him have thrown it away._

Wasn’t this a nice way to start your dreaded weekend back home? She was supposed to be happy about seeing her boyfriend again and her family, yet all she could do was worry about her stupid action that Saturday before. She was so deep in thought that at first she did not even hear her telephone ring. After about 3 rings it dawned on her that that machine was making loud noises.

“Hello, this is Jenna Taylor”  
“…”  
“Hello? This is Jenna Taylor, who is this?”  
“Hi, it’s … it’s Catcher Block?”

 _Whatever happened to prayers being answered?_

“I-I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”  
“No, not really”  
“I was just … ehm … I was just wondering whether you were going out again tomorrow night, with your brother and his girlfriend, I mean.”  
“No, I am afraid not. Well, maybe I am, but not in the city. I-I’m going home to visit my family this weekend.”  
“Oh, that’s great. So you are packing then? When are you leaving?”  
“I am leaving in about an hour or so”  
“I’d better not keep you then”  
“But why did you call? I have some time left.”  
“Ohhh, it’s nothing”  
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind”

 _No, I don’t sound desperate at all. Good one, Jen!_

“I just wanted to ask you if I could meet up with you if you were going out again.”

 _Breathe!_

“I’m sorry, I wish I could.”  
“Maybe next week?”

 _In and out, in and out …_

“I will ask my brother, I bet he won’t mind, I know Stacey won’t mind. She loves coming over here.”  
“You seem very close with your brother’s girlfriend.”  
“Yes, I am. She has been my best friend since kindergarten. She has only been my brother’s boyfriend for a week.”  
“So that was why they were still so giddy around each other. Isn’t that weird though, I mean, your brother and your best friend?”  
“Not really. I mean, I have always thought that the two of them would make a wonderful couple. I love Joey, besides Stacey, he has always been the one I could talk to.”

 _Now, why on earth did I just tell him that?_

“That is nice. It’s always good to have someone to talk to. I guess you do not have a sister to talk to then?”  
“Sometimes I wish I did. I actually am blessed with 7 brothers!”  
“… Wow. That must have been hard, growing up. I only have 1 brother and that is enough.”  
“It’s not so bad. My mother was very happy though, at least she had 1 girl to dress up at times. That was, until I decided that playing garage with my brothers was a lot of fun and I came home with my pretty pink dress all covered in grease.”  
“At least you did not have to wear any hand-me-downs”  
“I wish! Only to school or on Sundays or with Christmas I got to wear girl’s clothes, but when I was home, off came the dress and I had to put on handed down jeans and stuff. During summer holidays you could have sworn I was a boy, I never wore a dress.”  
“Well, there is definitely no mistaking now”

 _Did he just flirt? Naaaaaah…_

“I guess you have to leave soon, so I will not keep you any longer. Enjoy your trip home, I will telephone you when you get back. Is that okay?”  
“S-sure, t-that’s okay”  
“Say hi to your brother and Stacey for me, bye”  
“Bye”

 _Did that just really happen? Did I just have a telephone conversation with Catcher Block? Did he really just say that he would call me again when I am back?_

When she finally arrived at her parent’s house, she was welcomed by everyone, except for 1 person. You’ll never guess who was missing; Carson. Jenna’s mother explained to her that he really regretted that he could not be there, but he would come over the next day.

 _“Hey Jenna, it’s Carson here, I am so sorry that I cannot make it on Friday” “Thanks Carson, for telling me YOURSELF instead of telling my mother”  
Why on earth did he tell my mother but not me? How hard is it to phoning me? I only spoke to him last night, yet he never said anything about not being here tonight._

Luckily Stacey was there. Stacey was having the hardest time not going over to Joey all the time, she could not even look at him without the fear of being noticed. After about an hour, her brothers and their families went home again, leaving only Jenna, Joe and Stacey with her parents. They too retired for the night after another hour or so.

And so, Jenna finally had time to tell her brother and her friend about what happened. It had been eating her alive that she could not share that news that had been on her mind all evening. That fact also showed in the way she just blurted it out:

“He phoned me tonight”

Both Joe and Stacey had to think for a few seconds who on earth Jenna was talking about. Why would Jenna tell them, so nervously, that Carson telephoned her? That wasn’t anything new, was it? Could he have told her some awful news? Couldn’t be it either if the look in her eye had anything to do with it. All of a sudden Stacey understood exactly what Jenna was talking about:

“He DID?” she said excitedly. Unfortunately Joe still did not understand at all what they were talking about.  
“Yes” Jenna whispered “Just before I left. I was almost done packing when the telephone rang.”  
“So? What did he say?” Stacey replied again. Joe however just sat there with a big puzzled look on his face.  
“He wanted to know what we were doing tomorrow night, wondering if we were going out”  
“He DIDN’T?”   
“Yes, first of all I couldn’t believe he still had my number and then he asks me what we were doing tomorrow, I couldn’t believe it myself.”  
“What did you tell him?”  
“That I wished I could, but couldn’t”  
“What did he say then?”

I wish you could have seen Joe’s face. He kind of thought by now that they were talking about Carson, but then why were both girls so exited about it? Why was STACEY so exited about Carson? Why were they treating a telephone call from that …. That … bastard like it was something so special?

“He actually asked if we maybe were going out next week”  
“He DIDN’T?”  
“WHO didn’t and what didn’t HE do?” That was it, Joe couldn’t stand it any longer, he had to know what they were talking about.

Both girls looked at him stunned. They could not believe he did not know who they were talking about.  
“Hey, don’t look at me like that, I have tried to follow this conversation for the last few minutes, but when I finally thought I figured out who you were talking about it made even less sense then before I thought I knew.”  
“Catcher Block phoned her” Stacey decided to help him out of his misery.  
“Really? Wow!”  
“That’s what I said. Anyway, Jen, what did you say next?”  
“Where was I? Oh right, I told him I would ask you guys if you wanted to go out again.”  
“Why us? I mean, you do not need us there, right?”  
“But he asked for all of us. I can’t tell him ‘yes, we’ll be there’ and then show up alone. He will be expecting you two too. He actually asked me to say hi”  
“He didn’t?”  
“Yes, he _did_ ”  
“Then wh…”  
“Will you _please_ just let her finish the story without you interrupting her every time?” Joe told Stacey. Yet when Stacey looked at Joe, she saw he meant it cheeky. Joe kissed her temple and put his arm around her. It felt so good to hold her like that.  
“That was just about the whole story, really.”  
“Liar” Both Stacey and Joe said in unison.  
“What? Okay, some chitchat followed and _then_ we hung up.”  
“Jen, if all you did was chitchat, then why are your cheeks flaming red?” Stacey couldn’t help but ask her. She knew her friend was holding _something_ back. Something she really wasn’t ready for sharing, Stacey could see that confusion in her eyes, he must have said something she either did not understand or did not really believe.  
“You know what? Never mind, Jen. I should not have said that. I know he said something, but I know that you will tell me when the time is right.”  
“Thanks, Stace”

 _Why won’t I tell them that he told me he would call me again? It’s not as if we’ll be dating or anything. I am not cheating on Carson. Still, why does it feel like I do? Stacey knows what Catcher said, I can see it in her eyes. She probably would have asked me about it if Joey wasn’t here. But if Stacey hadn’t been here, then Joey would have probably done the same._

 _I still can’t believe Carson never told me he wasn’t coming tonight. Why did he tell my mother? Catcher never would have done something like that. He would have phoned me as soon as he knew he couldn’t make it._

 _But you are NOT with Catcher, you are with Carson, remember? Stop being so negative about him when he probably hasn’t even done it on purpose. Maybe he telephoned me when I wasn’t home yet, or he only just found out and couldn’t get in touch with me in time._

~

“Honey, I have missed you so much. I am so happy that you are here. You look amazing, darling.” Carson hugged Jenna fiercely, as if he had not seen her in a year. That made Jenna feel good, at least he had really missed her, yet she still could not get over that little detail that he had not telephoned her about the night before. Carson looked Jenna deep in her eyes and moved his head closer to her until his lips softly touched her. Jenna’s heart started beating rapidly in anticipation. They had been going out for over a month now and still they had not kissed properly. _Maybe_ she thought _maybe after I kiss him, the butterflies will come and then give me a chance to finally get over Catcher._

Maybe.

Maybe not.

His lips softly caressed Jenna’s lips, no demands for entrance, just touching. _This is nice_. After a few minutes she felt the soft touch of his tongue, licking her lips and even her teeth. Jenna liked the ticklish feel it gave her, yet she wished he would speed things up a little. She didn’t want to wait any longer, romantic kisses can be dealt with later, right now she just wanted to be thoroughly kissed. Jenna decided to change the tables around and take control herself, she moved her hands from his arms, where she had held Carson while he kissed her, to the nape of his neck and softly caressed his neck. This way she could also slowly tilt his head a bit so she had better access. Apparently Carson liked Jenna’s actions as she heard a soft hum of approval. Jenna copied Carson’s earlier licks, yet she was a bit more forward. Not only did she tickle his lips and his teeth, but she carefully also demanded entrance to his mouth, something Carson eagerly gave her. Soon the slow and romantic kisses had turned into heated and passionate ones.

Yet, Jenna still did not feel a thing. Carson was a fantastic kisser; Jenna really could not believe her luck. Now, she never had any real experience in that area, but she did know that this was good. She could tell Carson had done this before and probably quite a lot too.

Then, why didn’t she feel anything? Well, that is not entirely true; she started to feel aroused, started thinking what it would be like to take this further … all the way further. Right now, she did not feel disgusted by that thought anymore. But that tingling feeling she was hoping for, those butterflies, that was still missing.

 _See? I knew that that feeling could not exist. This is what it feels like to be in love, I am sure of it. That whole ‘butterfly-feeling’ is so exaggerated._

 _But… why did my entire body start to shiver when Catcher kissed my cheek? Why did my stomach flip-flop for 2 days after his lips touched me?_

Jenna pondered about it for a few seconds longer, but then decided to just let it go. This was Carson; the man she loved and she was going to enjoy his kisses.

When Carson felt the time right to take things to the next level and moved his hands from her waist to right below her breasts, Jenna froze. The thought of him touching her in such an intimate place frightened her, she just could not do that yet, it was too soon. They had only been on kissing terms for 10 minutes and to go from kissing to making out should take a little longer than that, shouldn’t it?

“I’m sorry, Jenny. I couldn’t control myself. I just want to feel you, all of you. I love you so much”  
“I-I’m sorry, Carson. I’m just not ready yet. We have only been kissing for a few minutes. You understand that right?  
“Sure. I am you first boyfriend, everything is all new, it’s normal for you to feel this way”

 _Thank goodness, he is tactful._

“Right. Still, even if you weren’t, I still would have felt this way. You know how I was brought up and I think I am finally beginning to understand their reasons.”

 _Even **I **don’t believe what I just said. Why did I?****_

“See? I knew you would see their side one day.”

 _Thank goodness someone believed what I said._

“I guess. But this doesn’t mean we have to stop right now. Just because I said I wasn’t ready to move this to the next level, doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy on this one.” Jenna said, hoping it sounded seductive. At least it did in her ears. Looking at Carson, it worked. He closed the distance between them again and reclaimed her lips once more.


	13. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 11**

Jenna opened the door to her apartment and dropped her bags on the floor. That had been some weekend. After her make-out session with Carson, he stayed for dinner with her and her parents. Later that night they went out to the local bar where Carson kept showing her off to his friends. To her it felt like ‘I did it; I was the one to finally win her’. As if they had had a contest who could seduce her and actually succeed. She knew that in the past she had not been easy towards the boys from her town and not just because her parents never allowed her to date. She just had never been interested in any of them. She had always wanted something more, something those boys could not give her. Now that one of them actually succeeded, they felt the need to celebrate that fact.

 _Was I really that bad? Didn’t they know that mum and dad never allowed me to go out? Of course they did, they knew they did not let me out of the house to go out._

She had been so happy to see Stacey come into the bar to keep her company. Unfortunately she did not stay too long. She was going to meet up with Joe. They had told their parents they were going out for a drink and meet up with Jenna and her ‘friends’. They were going to stay for about an hour and then separately leave so they could be alone for a little while.

On Sunday morning her parents had organised a brunch for the entire family. They had also invited Stacey and Carson AND his family. Her mother told her that ‘they were going to be in-laws soon anyway’ so they might as well come over to have a nice family-brunch and spend some time with the daughter-in-law who only comes over every once in a while. Jenna was furious when her mother told her that.

“Mum, don’t start this again. We have been over this before. You KNOW why I live there. You also know that I am not coming back. I love my life in the city, I love my job. You are just going to have to get used to your daughter living there. Heck, you are going to have to get used to the fact that in time, your future grandchildren will live in the city.”  
“What? They will certainly not! Jenna, when are you going to grow up and realise your true task? How could you possibly raise children … there? Your children do not have a future in a city like that.”  
“Why not? Why won’t they have a future there? It’s a city of 7 million people, they are bound to have a few children there, so there will probably also be some schools. I am sorry mum, but I will not return here, just because you think it’s better for the children I do not even have yet. I understand your concern, really I do, but I will not be miserable for the rest of my life, just because my children MIGHT have a better life here. I also know that I do not come over every weekend, but I simply do not have the time to come over more often. I also have a housekeeping to keep up with. Why don’t you and dad come over more? You have hardly been there since I moved.”  
“We have more children then just you, Jenna. They DO like to come over on weekends.”  
“MUM! You know I love coming over, I just don’t have TIME or MONEY to do so every week. I come over as often as I can afford. There is more than 1 reason for me to enjoy coming over here and did you really think I like not seeing Carson every few weeks? No, I don’t. I really did wish I could see him more often, but I just can’t.”  
“Then move back here, like I have told you hundreds of times before”  
“And I have told you hundreds of times before that I don’t want to live here anymore. I love my life in the city, I love the noises, the smells, the 24/7 activity, everything. Why would I give that up? I would be miserable here and you know that.”  
“Let’s just drop it for now. I can’t talk to you when you are this unreasonable. We will continue this conversation when you have calmed yourself again”  
“What? Don’t walk away mum, we have definitely not finished this conversation yet. Just because you do not like my answers, doesn’t mean this conversation is over. I will not return mum, not now, not ever. IF I EVER were to return, it would be because I REALLY want to and not because you asked me to. Since I am not 60 yet, I do not see that happening any time soon.”

Unfortunately her mother wasn’t listening anymore. She just wanted what was best for her daughter and in her eyes here was that place; back home and close to her. The rest of the day was just awkward. Her mother had hardly spoken to her since their talk and Jenna had a feeling that she had spoken to other people because they too were desperately trying to avoid yet mentioning it more, the subject of Jenna and New York. She had never been so happy to leave ‘home’. It started to feel less and less like ‘home’ every time she came over.

Carson had been surprisingly understanding. Even telling her that she needed to give her mother a little time and after a little while, she would have calmed enough to understand Jenna’s reasons. She couldn’t believe he really had said that. It made her feel that he really did love her and understand her. He also promised her he would come over to visit her in 2 weeks time and that they would then talk about it some more.

She was so glad to now finally be home again. A place she really could call that. Mr. Mister had greeted her as if he had not seen her in a year. He had probably been fed at different times and he was just glad that things were returning to normal again now his servant was home again. On the way home Jenna had already decided to take a very long and very hot bath and as soon as she had greeted Mister she walked over to the tub to turn on the hot tabs. As she walked to her bedroom to get some towels her telephone rang.

“Mister, if that is my mother, I will hang up. What do you think? Should I even answer? Do you think it is my mother? You know what? I’ll take the risk, I will answer the telephone. Who knows, it might be Stacey”

“Hello, this is Jenna Taylor” She said as cheerful as she could.  
“Wow, you sound happy. Was your weekend that great?”  
“W-who is this?”

 _It couldn’t be. Twice in one week?_

“Sorry, it’s Catcher. So? Was your weekend good?”

 _Oh dear god, what do I say now? If I tell him how horrible today was he will probably want to know why. But if I tell him I had a blast, what do I do if he asks me about THAT?_

“It was okay, just visiting home.”  
“That bad?”  
“No, it wasn’t that bad. It was okay. I mean, I go home every few weeks, nothing interesting really”  
“So there is no one special waiting for you there? And I thought you were exited to see your brother and his girlfriend again.”  
“I was. I really was happy to see them. They are still keeping things quiet which is quite funny to watch.”  
“You are denying answering my other question. Is there no one or are you not sure what to say?”  
“Wow, I can tell you are a journalist”  
“Hahaha, I guess I am. I guess I have always been curious about things.”  
“So have you always wanted to be a journalist then?”  
“No, not really. When I was younger I wanted to be a farmer like my father.”  
“Really? I never thought of you as one.”  
“So, what did you think of me then?”

 _Oops! I stuck my foot in it again._

“I-I guessssss a journalist? I don’t know. You seem a real city boy, to be honest.”  
“I am. That is why I moved to the city when I was old enough. I really did love my life on the farm, I loved riding horses, but I needed more. I moved here as soon as I could afford a little place of my own. I ran into Peter McManus the first week I got here and he offered me a job almost as soon as I met him.”  
“He must have a lot of faith in you then?”  
“Who is the journalist now?” He said, laughing out loud “And a very good one, since you still have not answered my former question. Is he that good looking?”  
“Who is?” Jenna asked, hating to answer that particular question.  
“Your beau”  
“He is alright. Not too bad” She replied with a forced chuckle. She couldn’t tell him that he was nothing compared to Catcher, now could she?  
“So you do have a ‘someone special’ in your life. Have you been dating long? I seem to remember you were not engaged nor married.”  
“We have only been together for a bit over a month now.”

They talked about Carson for a bit. Catcher actually really seemed interested in hearing her stories, even the ones about Carson. Jenna could still hear the hurt in his voice as they talked about young love; still he kept asking and talking.

 _He really needs someone to talk to once in a while. Poor him._

“May I ask you something?” Jenna decided to ask.  
“Sure” Catcher replied a bit hesitant. He had a feeling Jenna was changing subjects again. Jenna was actually pretty good at that. He really liked talking to her. She wasn’t trying to put ideas in his head, wasn’t seducing him or trying to give him advice he knew was useless to him; you need to go out again, start dating, forget about Nancy. You know, the usual Nancy-bashing.  
“How are you doing now?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Just like I said; how are you now? I know we talked about everything that was happening in your life right now last week but you sound so sad. Is something wrong, are you okay?”  
“You are one to talk. You probably sound just as cheerful, if not worse, than me. Was your weekend really that awful? Or do you miss your beau already?”  
“Do not try to change the subject, unless you really do not want to answer”  
“Again, you are one to talk, but okay. I just miss Nancy, that’s all. I got the divorce papers in the mail yesterday and it just still hurts. Nothing to worry about, I will get over it.”  
“You sound just as convincing as a teenager with a fake ID. I-if you want to, I will listen if you would like to talk.”

 _Yes, I would love to rip open a wound to make sure it will never heal._

“Why?”  
“Huh?”  
“Why? Why would you want to listen to someone complain about their future ex-wife? Why would you want to listen to someone you hardly know?”

 _Ouch. That hurts. But he is right. I hardly know him. All I know is that I think I am still hopelessly in love with him. What on earth can I tell him? I can’t tell him that I love him, he will freak out._

“W-well …”  
“I’m sorry, Jenna. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like that”  
“T-that’s okay…

 _My conversations are as always spot-on, thank goodness_

… See … I-I just … how could I not? You looked so lost that morning I found you at work. Everyone would ask how you are doing. I know I hardly know you, but everyone needs someone to talk to, right?”  
“I guess so. Thank you …. Right now I just don’t feel like talking about me. That’s what everyone seems to want to do these days. So, I am going to try to change the subject around again and try to find out why you sound so sad.”  
Jenna could not help but giggle, she tried to hide it, but probably failed miserably. It definitely cheered her up a bit. It also touched her that someone she also hardly knew asked about her wellbeing. Her colleagues of course asked about her when she was feeling off, but isn’t that normal? You work with these people every day. But this man was someone she really only just met, yet he did ask about her, he heard she wasn’t feeling happy and he asked her why. If only he could ever feel something for her and if only she had never met Carson …

 _Don’t go there, Jen. Don’t do this to yourself …_

“Jenna? Are you still there?”

 _Oops, try to focus Jen; you are still talking to him on the telephone…_

“Sorry, I was just trying to … figure out what to say. My weekend was okay, though. Nothing I didn’t expect. A typical weekend at the Taylor-household.”  
“And what is a typical weekend at the Taylor-household like then?” Catcher in journo-mode again.  
“Overprotecting the little sister, that’s all. In a large family, dominated by the male species these kinds of things happen. Believe me; you would probably do the same thing if you had a sister, especially if she was younger.”  
“And what else happened? This can’t be everything. If you are so used to it by now, it shouldn’t bring you down so much.”  
“Wow!... Now I know why you are a journalist and not a sales clerk.”  
“I can also hear that it is eating at you and that you would like to talk about it, but feel weird about it at the same time because in a way, I am still a stranger to you. Am I right?”  
“Am I such an open book? How come people are always able to read my thoughts? I thought Joey and Stacey were the only ones to be able to do that, but only because I am so close to them. Now YOU are doing the same thing. Am I really so transparent?”  
“Just like you said earlier; I am a journalist. It’s my job to notice these things. Do not worry about it. Just so you know; I will listen if you want to talk.”

And so, to even Jenna’s own surprise, she told the entire story of what had happened that weekend and it actually instantly made her feel better. Who would have thought that talking to an almost stranger could make her feel so much better? A stranger she had been in love with for almost a year now…

They ended their conversation by agreeing to meet each other next Saturday at that dance hall they both went to a week earlier.

That night, Jenna hardly slept. Every time she closed her eyes she dreamt of those grey pools, that killer smile and that sexy soothing voice that all belonged to the one man she should not be dreaming about.


	14. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

_Chapter 12_

Over the next few months Catcher and Jenna often went out together. They liked each other’s company, they talked a lot and laughed a lot and actually became close friends. This, to the delight of Stacey who still had high hopes for the two to one day realise they would be perfect for each other.

Jenna still held loving feelings for Catcher but she managed to give that a place where it would not bother her too much and that way it made it easier for her to be around Catcher. She still had dreams about him every night after they went out. They varied from them raising a loving family out on a farm or in the city to making wild and passionate love to him. She could not decide which she thought was worse; dreaming of making love to him or dreaming of being a family. Two dreams had even been declared as ‘nightmares’. In the first one she found herself in labour of their first child. Catcher was so loving and caring. He kept holding her hand and helping her breathe, soothing her with loving words. She gave birth to a girl and even to this day, after 3 months, she could still see the look in his eyes when he first laid eyes on the little baby. Later she thought it weird that Catcher had been there, because it was not usual for a man to be present when a woman is giving birth to a child. She had heard of some people doing that, but not in America.  
In the second one, she was in the middle of making wild and passionate love to him, but the usual surroundings were different. It wasn’t in her own home and definitely not in her bed. She also could not imagine it could have been his apartment. When she ‘opened’ her eyes, she could see the stars behind Catcher’s head, yet the surface she lay on was very cold and hard, as if she lay on something metal. Now you have to realise that in 1963 sex was a very big no-no to talk about and people thought the only proper place to ‘be intimate with their partner’ was in a bed, in their own home. So, any other place felt out of place for Jenna. She too thought that making love should not happen any place else than in a bed. It never entered her mind that other places beside a bed were a possibility too.

What worried her at times was that she had, so far, never had these dreams about Carson. In fact, she could not even recall she ever dreamt about him. Was that normal? Shouldn’t she at least have any dreams about the man she was with? Even if they were only about simple things? Would she forever be doomed to dream about the man she was not allowed to dream about, yet never dream about the man she made herself believe she was in love with?

Every time she dreamt of Catcher she would telephone Carson the next day, as if she was trying to rid of the guilt she felt towards him. She never told him about Catcher and that she went out so frequently with him. She had told him she ‘sort of’ befriended him and that she sometimes met up with him for a cup of coffee and to talk about Catcher’s divorce. She hated herself for that too. She just knew Carson would make a big deal out of her being friends with someone she used to have feelings for. (Okay, how would you feel if your loved one told you about still harbouring feelings for someone other than you? That’s right, you wouldn’t like it either. That is why Jenna told Carson she doesn’t have any feelings for Catcher anymore)

Carson and Jenna had gotten a lot closer over the last few months and Carson even hinted towards marriage sometimes. He knew he had to be patient, that Jenna was not ready to make that kind of commitment yet. He knew he had to wait for the right time and that when that time came; she would hopefully even give up her job and move ‘back home’. That was his ultimate goal anyway. Carefully he was making life back home sound so appealing, like it was the best place to live and he was hoping that his talking about children would also have any effect. Unfortunately up until now, it wasn’t working yet. Luckily the holidays were coming up again and that was the perfect opportunity to show Jenna that life was all about family. He had already bought an engagement ring 2 months ago. At that time he had planned on proposing to her over Christmas, but right now, he was afraid that he had to wait a little bit longer. His hopes were now for Valentine’s Day. If he would propose over Christmas, he was afraid she might run or maybe even end their relationship.

Jenna was expecting something to happen soon. Her family had been strangely nervous whenever conversations turned to her relationship with Carson. As long as it wasn’t what she feared it could be; a proposal. She knew it wouldn’t be long before he would probably give hints that he would go down on one knee. He had already been talking marriage for a few months now.

 _Isn’t it too fast if he would do it? I mean, we have been going out for only 6 months now. Shouldn’t that be at least a year or so?_

What would she do, if he did propose? Would she say yes? Would she ask him to wait a little longer and maybe try again 6 months from now, or a year? Who knows, she could be over the moon if he actually did propose, sometimes her own mind even surprised her. She already figured she would probably marry him eventually. But then, why did it still scare her so much? Why did the thought of becoming Mrs. Carson Jackson frighten her so much? It just wasn’t the right time yet, that was all there was to it. If it was the right time, it would not scare her and she would be perfectly fine with it.

But …. When would _that_ be? Carson will not wait for her forever. She can’t keep him hanging for years and years. Maybe she should just accept it when the time comes and learn to live with her new name. She would get used to it eventually and maybe that was for the best.

Something else also bothered Jenna. Catcher had returned to his old Bachelor-life. He was dating women left and right. She had confronted him with it, but he just shrugged it off, saying that at least he wouldn’t get hurt that way. He gave away his heart to one woman once and look where it got him.

“But don’t you see that you are hurting the women you are using? Don’t you even have any self respect? I know she broke your heart, but you told me yourself that she did not do it on purpose. I am sure that there is someone out there for you and when you find her, you will spend the rest of your life with her, loving her, caring for her. I promise you this. “Don’t start, okay. We have been over this before and I will not change my lifestyle. I like my life and the women I go out with do not seem to mind. And may I remind you how _you_ ended up in New York? I seem to remember your drive for independence and ‘dining a la carte’.”  
“Now that is not true and you know it. Yes, I came to New York thanks to ‘Barbara Novak’ and her book, but I told you that it was because of the independence and equality in the workforce that I am here now. You know I never really agreed to her ‘a la carte’-way of living. I have always believed that there was someone out there for me and that I would not find him by dating a different man every weekend.”  
“Well, I am planning to find her _that_ way and if you do not like it than I ask you to look another way. This is who I am and I tried to change that once and that did not work out, so why change a winning team?”

They continued this conversation for the rest of the evening and in the end they decided that they would never agree and dropped the subject. They valued their friendship too much to let an argument like this bother them. Yet it continued to bother Jenna and Catcher pretended not to notice that.

But to Catcher it did feel different then before he got married. Before Nancy he felt carefree about it but now he felt really guilty towards Jenna. As if he was betraying her or something. That had never happened to him before, not even when he was trying to expose ‘Barbara’. He didn’t feel anything for Jenna other than close friendship, so why did it bother him so much to hook up with a lady when Jenna was near?

Jenna once asked if he never felt guilty for using these women. He answered her that he didn’t feel like he used them. He really did feel something for the women he dated. He was truly in love with them for as long as they were together, even if it was very short. He loved her, adored her, couldn’t think of any other woman as long as he was with her. Unfortunately, as soon as she left for work or went home the next morning he usually stopped thinking about them again and waited for his next ‘true love’ to enter the stage.  
I can hear your question; does he ever think of Jenna when he is with a woman? Has he ever thought about going out with her? I’m afraid I have to disappoint you here. He really sees Jenna as a very close friend, one he can build on, depend on. He will not jeopardise his friendship with her by going out with her for a night. He had thought about it once, what it would be like going out with her like he does with all his other women, but he just thought it’d be weird. They know so much about each other, heck, they probably knew more about each other than his own brother knows of him.

Jenna was not the only one to have worries about her friend. Catcher had them too. He did not like that boyfriend of hers. Jenna had told him a lot about the guy and something was very wrong. He had also seen him once, though both Carson and Jenna don’t know about that. It was a few weeks ago and Carson came over to visit Jenna for the weekend. That evening they went out to this club Catcher also frequently went to. That night he felt restless again and decided a nice lady might take that feeling away and thus he ended up at the same club as the ‘happy couple’. When he noticed them, he also noticed that Carson spent more time checking out other women than spending time with Jenna. He also had this weird look in his eye, a look that Catcher knew very well. He had often himself had that look in his eyes, usually right after he spent the night with someone. Jenna had once told him she was going to wait and save herself for her wedding night, so either she changed her mind and gave herself to him anyway or he was neglecting to tell her something.  
He desperately wanted to confront her with this, but he knew he couldn’t. He had told her that that evening he couldn’t come along because Peter McManus and his wife were coming over. In reality he wasn’t feeling like being the third wheel to a very happy couple. Afterwards he really regretted this lie. He had seen the look in Carson’s eye and he never liked it, but he had also seen the look in her eyes. She tried to hide it well, but he could see that deep down she felt lonely and miserable. She had never had that look when they went out, so he knew her look of happiness. He knew the look in her eyes when she was having a good time and he never once spotted that look in her eye that evening.  
There had to be a reason why she was dating this guy. She had told Catcher she loved him and that she was expecting a proposal soon. When he had asked her about how she felt about it, she said she was happy about it. He had not believed her, but he never said anything about it either. If Jenna did not want to tell him the truth about that, then there was probably a good reason for it.

In a few days, Catcher would finally officially be divorced from Nancy and he had not been able to sleep for days. He still could not believe his marriage had ended so quickly and he still felt for her. She had been the first woman he let himself really fall in love with and if it was up to him, it would be the last one too.

“Hello? This is Catcher Block.”  
“Hey, how are you? Did you at least sleep last night?” Jenna and Catcher had stopped introducing themselves over the telephone. Instead they just started their conversations immediately, as Jenna did now.  
“Not really, no. Only 2 more days to go and hopefully I will stop being nocturnal. It really is driving me insane at the moment.”  
“Do you want me to come over? I could tell you about the telephone conversation I had with my mother yesterday and that is bound to have you asleep in 5 minutes. I almost did, the only thing that kept myself awake was the crossword puzzle I had in front of me. I even had to remind myself to give the occasional ‘really?’ or ‘I agree’ so she at least assumed I was still listening.”  
“You could try, but I doubt it would work.”  
“Have you tried that cup of warm milk, like I have been telling you for a few days now? Do not give me that excuse that you do not like milk, because I know you do. If you want some stronger taste to it, then why not add some whiskey then? That should be a double knock-out!”

Unfortunately even after trying warm milk, warm milk with whiskey, hot bath, telephoning back Jenna and listening to the very long conversation she had had with her mother (Jenna was even surprised she remembered so much) about nothing interesting and watching television for a while, Catcher could still not catch his sleep. He had been very close to telephoning his soon-to-be ex-wife, but actually managed not to.  
That next night was no different; he even added a date and spending the night with her at his place to the list of things to try to fall asleep to the list, but again to no prevail.

So, on the morning of the official divorce, Catcher looked like hell. He had asked Jenna if she would come along to court with him, so at least he would not be alone.

“Oh my goodness!” Jenna whispered “You look truly awful. I knew I should have come over last night and take care of you. When you did not answer your telephone last night, I was kind of hoping that you were asleep so deep that you didn’t hear it ring”  
“I-I wasn’t home last night” Catcher answered guiltily. He was hoping she wouldn’t have to find out that he had not been home until late and that when he was, he had company.  
“Please tell me you did not go out last night.”  
“Okay, then I won’t” He tried to shrug it off with a joke, but it didn’t work. He could see frustration build up in Jenna’s eyes.  
“Catcher, why? Did you honestly think that snaring a woman into your bed would work to make yourself fall asleep? I thought you were smarter than that”  
“I was beyond desperation, Jen. Usually a woman helps perfectly to fall asleep … afterwards.”  
“And?” Jenna replied angrily. “Did it work? Looking at you I think I already know the answer, but I would still like to hear it.”  
“Okay, no it did not. There! Are you happy?”  
“Are you? Listen, I know I cannot stop you and your dating-habit, but this really is ridiculous. Do you even remember her name?”  
Jen, stop it. We have talked about this. Yes, I know her name. In fact, I have known her for quite some time. I know you do not agree with my way of life, but please do not argue with me right now. I feel awful as it is and I really need a friend to get through this right now.”  
“And I am here for you, you know that. I just wish … never mind. We will never agree on this subject anyway, so I will not waist my breath.

 _I just wish I never found out about last night. But right now I am happy I did not use the key and go in after all._

Last night, Jenna was so worried because she couldn’t reach her friend over the telephone that she actually went over to his apartment to see if he was alright. But in the end, she had stood at his door for 5 minutes deciding whether she should really go in or not, not wanting to wake him if he really was asleep. After 5 minutes she decided that he was probably asleep and then she turned around and left. Right now, the thought of actually having gone in and seeing Catcher with someone made her nauseous. She was still trying to convince herself of not being in love with him anymore and seeing what she had almost seen would have devastated her and probably she would not have been able to sleep a wink at all too.

As they entered the courthouse, they walked towards the courtroom and right before the doors were a few benches where people could wait before they were summoned in. On one of those benches they noticed Barbara and Jed chatting happily. It hurt Catcher beyond words to see the woman he once loved and whom had loved him once, happy and smiling. When Nancy spotted her future ex-husband, her bright and happy face faded and a forced smile graced her lips. It was clear to see that she still felt very guilty for doing to him what she had done. She had never meant for any of this to happen. She had never meant to hurt him like she did.

When she and Catcher went over to Maine all these months ago, she had forgotten all about what it was like living down there and most of all, she had blocked her first true love out of her mind. Even when she returned to Maine to write her book, she never thought of him. But running into him was like opening a wound she had hoped to have healed all these years ago.

As a teenager, Nancy led a carefree life; she had lots of friends and was loved at school. In secret she had had a crush on the highschool-hotty for years, but she never expected him to answer her feelings, but he did. Jed O’Neal and Nancy dated for about 6 months until she finally had the guts to bring him to her home and introduce him to her family. But from that moment on, everything fell to peaces. Apparently Jed’s family belonged to the wrong church; something that had been very important to Nancy’s parents. Her parents had forbidden her to see him after that and they had even grounded her for 3 months when they had found out that Nancy had been seeing him without her parent’s knowledge. Nancy’s parents had even gone so far as to talk to Jed’s family and tell them that they did not like it one bit that their children were even friends. They told them that they wanted them to keep their son away from Nancy, if not; they would go to the police. Eventually, Jed and his family moved away. Jed and Nancy tried to keep in touch by writing to each other, but Nancy’s parents found out again and threw away her letters before Nancy ever had any chance to read them.

When they ran into each other all these years later, they had talked to each other for hours and Nancy finally found out why her letters were never answered. The spark was still there. In fact Jed had never forgotten about Nancy and even moved back to Maine, hoping he would run into her one day. He knew she had married, but he never gave up hope.

“Hi Catch” Nancy said, sounding just as nervous as he was.  
“Hi” was all he could say.

Nancy also talked to Jenna for a while. She had known about Catcher’s friendship with one of her employees. When she found out that even though Catcher must have told Jenna a lot about what was going on, Jenna never seemed to think any different of her. She had confronted Jenna about that once and Jenna’s reply had been that Jenna could not think any different of her when she did not know the entire story. There are 2 sides to this story and Jenna felt that there had to be a good reason for leaving her husband the way she did.  
“I am not asking you to tell me about it. In fact, I don’t think I really want to know. If I do, I will want to tell Catcher about it and I don’t know if he will cope with it. Catcher also never talks bad about you, so why should I? Plus I don’t think it is up to me to tell him your side of the story”  
Nancy appreciated Jenna’s honesty and accepted the friendship between the two. When Jenna had asked for a day off, Nancy knew immediately that she asked for it to support Catcher on the day of the divorce.  
“Thank you for supporting him, someone should do it and I don’t think I can be the one to help him. Maybe you should take him over to his brother for a day or two afterwards. I heard he has this big farm, I am sure he would love it.”

The divorce was on Friday, so she would not even have to ask for more days off. Jenna had contacted Hoyt that same day and he agreed immediately. He had wanted to be there for his brother at the courthouse, but one of his mares was about to give birth and he could not possibly leave the farm. Catcher knew about it and that was why he never asked his brother to come. As soon as everything was final, Jenna would drive Catcher to his brother’s ranch. She still had not decided if she was going to stay too. In a way, she really wanted to be there for her friend, but on the other hand she wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle it. She knew that whenever she felt sorry for him she felt for him again. Being around him an entire weekend, seeing him miserable like that would kill her.

The fact that Carson was out of town for the weekend, did not help her either. If he had been home, she would have asked Carson to come over, so at least she would have had anyone to talk to. Carson said he was going away with his friends for a weekend. Jenna had decided to honestly tell Carson that her friend Catcher was going through the final divorce that Friday and Carson never argued about not agreeing to have his girlfriend support a man she once had feelings for. It had struck her as odd, but she didn’t complain. She had told her boyfriend that she would probably spend an entire weekend with Catcher and he said yes!

She of course told Stacey about it and all she could do was frown. Stacey still did not trust Carson and she just felt that Carson must be up to something. Stacey also still tried to fix up Catcher and Jenna together. You should see her face when Jenna tells her for the umpteenth time that she was over Catcher. Her eyes started rolling and a tired smile graced her lips. Stacey was growing tired of Jenna’s denial; she knew Jenna was still deeply in love with Catcher, even if she denied it to herself. Stacey also knew that Catcher sometimes looked at Jenna in a way that had nothing to do with friendship. Maybe Catcher did not know it yet, maybe he wasn’t ready to realise it yet, but he felt for her.

~

When Catcher and Jenna left the courthouse, Nancy ran up to them with tears running down her face.  
“I am so sorry about all of this. You know I never meant for this to happen, right?”  
“I-I know, Nancy.”  
“I ….”  
“I know…..”  
They were quiet for a few moments and then Catcher continued:  
“I wish you all the best, Nancy. I know Jed will make you happy.”  
“And I know Jenna will do the same for you one day.”  
Before Catcher could tell her it wasn’t like that, Nancy ran off. Crying in Jed’s arms.

Jenna hadn’t heard what Catcher and Nancy had spoken about because she was getting the car. She had seen the two talking together and Nancy running off. She decided not to ask yet what was said. If Catcher wanted to talk about it, he would when he was ready.

Catcher got into the car and Jenna made her way towards the freeway. They didn’t speak, there was no reason to. After about an hour, Catcher finally spoke.

“Have you decided to stay yet?”  
Jenna looked at her friend in surprise. She had never told him she was thinking of maybe staying. Of course Carly had asked Jenna numerous times, but every time she had told her that she couldn’t and that Catcher should spend some time with his family.  
“I-I thought I told you that I would just drop you off. You should spend some time with your family, Catch.”  
“That’s what you keep telling Carly too, but I would like for you to stay too. You have helped me throughout the entire process and you also deserve a weekend away. And to be very selfish, I need you to help me through this. I know my family is there, but you know every detail, so if something bothers me, I know I can talk to you immediately instead of having to explain it first. Please stay, Jen. Please?”

Jenna didn’t reply. She just drove on, deep in thought.


	15. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 13**

When they drove up to the farmhouse, Jenna had still not decided on staying or not. She would just leave it up to the situation…see what would happen. She also had not spoken a word since Catcher asked her to stay. She didn’t know why, she just did not know what to say without answering his plea first. Catcher had noticed her indecision too and he thought it best to let her work it out in her head. He had enough on his mind anyway. He still could not believe he really was not married anymore. He had never felt so alone, even though they had separated all these months ago. He could not bring himself to taking off his wedding band. It felt so good there. Maybe he would take it off later; he had to do it sooner or later.

Before Jenna had even parked the car, the entire Block-family was already outside to greet their visitors. Gina and Lance, the two children, were immediately all over Catcher, hugging him and pulling him out of the car to play with them. They did not let him go until Catcher promised him that he would play with them later, after he had talked to their parents for a bit.

Carly had in the meanwhile walked up to Jenna, who still sat in her car, still not knowing what to decide. Carly had already decided though. She had decided that Jenna had to stay so she could find some way to hook these two up together. She knew of Jenna’s boyfriend, but she didn’t care. Jenna was the perfect match for Catcher and from what she had heard about that boyfriend, she just knew she had to get the two together somehow.

“Hey Jenna, how lovely to see you again. I am so happy that you agreed to come along and stay with Catch this weekend. He really needs all the friends he can get right now.”  
“Bu…”  
“Come on in, get your bags, your room is all ready and waiting for you.”

And so Jenna’s mind was made up for her and she let herself be taken inside the house and into a weekend she wasn’t sure how to get through. She liked Carly a lot and she really wanted to be there for Catcher, but how on earth would she get through an entire weekend with the man who still dominated her dreams very close to her? There was no way for her to get in touch with Stacey for a sanity check, even though she knew that Stacey would only encourage her. She had telephoned her the night before and told her that she still wasn’t sure if she was going along and Stacey almost screamed into the telephone that she should go along. “He needs you right now” was her reasoning. “He needs a friend he knows he can depend on. You are that friend, Jen and you know that.” Stacey was right and Jenna knew that, but … but what? No buts, Stacey was right, period.

“You really are staying?” Catcher asked her excitedly. He could not believe his luck. Almost everyone he loved was here. Except for his mother, who still lived overseas and Peter McManus, but Mac and his wife were away for the weekend. They wanted a family now and they wanted to get away for a few days, now that they still could.  
“I guess I am.” Jenna replied, hesitation still clear in her voice.  
“You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you so much, Jen. You really are a true friend.”  
“Oh, stop it, you slime. I am staying, aren’t I?” Jenna winked at him.  
“What is it with you women and compliments? If we do not give them, you get angry about it, but when we DO give them, you think we do not mean them…. Women! Maybe it’s for the best I’m divorced now. I will never understand your species…”  
“My species? I will not even take the bait and talk about ‘your species’. I am going to join one of my sisters in the kitchen and leave you and ‘ _your_ species’ alone”

“You had that one coming, little brother.” Hoyt said to Catcher when they were alone.  
“I know. That was also the point.”  
“You really like her, don’t you? This is the second time you have brought her here. Every time you invite us over to your apartment, she is also there.”  
“She is just a friend, dear brother. Nothing more, I promise.”  
“Yeah, and the pope is just another priest, right?”  
“I am serious, Hoyt. There is nothing going on between us. We are just good friends. She really helps me when I need someone to talk to; she is always there for me. Don’t forget, she is practically engaged to that lowlife boyfriend of hers.”  
“You really don’t see it, do you?”  
“What? That she used to like me? Yes, I know about that, but like I said, she is with that loser and she really loves him.”  
“What do you mean ‘used to like you’? She did? She told you about that?”  
“It was pretty obvious, but very adorable. When I was still married to Nancy I used to run into her in the hallway or wherever. Her cheeks would flush crimson, she would start to stutter and usually even her knees gave in.” Catcher said with a chuckle, thinking back to the days when his life was still in order. “It doesn’t take a scientist to figure that out. She never told me though and by the time she found me at Nancy’s office, she was already involved with what’s-his-face. That was how serious her crush was. It was just a simple crush, nothing more, nothing less.”

“What about yours then?”

“Mine? What do you mean ‘what about mine’? You mean Nancy? I will get over her one day. It will just take time. I doubt that I will ever remarry though. I loved being married, really I did, but look where it got me; divorced and alone. Being pitied by everyone and even getting away from reality for a weekend to stay with my brother.”  
“You feel like everyone pities you? Are you serious?”  
“At times it does. Everyone goes all quiet when I enter a room and when I leave again they start to whisper behind my back. You have no idea how many cups of coffee I get offered at work. If I actually drank them all I wouldn’t sleep for 3 months from all the caffeine in my body. I really do appreciate it though, please do not get me wrong, but sometimes I just wish they would treat me like they used to.”  
“Jenna doesn’t treat you that way.”  
“Thank goodness, no. She keeps me grounded, keeps me sane. She doesn’t feel any pity for me, because she actually listens to what I say to her. She also feels that Nancy must have had her reasons for acting the way she did. She hates it that it happened to me in the way it did, but she also tells me that tides will change and that everything will be in the past soon and I will be able to continue with my life. Heck, she even told me to stop acting like a baby once. ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself, the world doesn’t end you know.’ She said and she was right.”  
“What does she say about your … ehm … dating habits?”  
“She hates it and again isn’t afraid to say it. She feels I am using these women. I have tried to tell her time and again that I am not, but she just won’t believe me. She is a true believer of true love and she is convinced that the right woman is out there for me.”

“If only she realised the same thing herself.”

“Huh?”  
“From what you have told me before and from what you are telling me now, this guy she is with doesn’t seem right for her. But if he isn’t, then why is she still with him?”  
“Because she loves him. Isn’t that the same reason why all couples stay together?”  
“Does she really? Has she actually told you so?”  
“A few times even. Listen, I don’t know either why she stays with him, I have seen the bastard and he is no good, but she loves him. I guess I have to accept that. I don’t want to lose my friend, so I don’t say anything about him. She still doesn’t even know that I _did_ see him once.”  
“Why do you hate this man so much? Are you jealous or … what?”  
“No, I’m not jealous. I told you before that I got a look at the guy the other night and I didn’t like what I saw. He had that look in his eyes that I know all too well. Since Jenna never told me they became ‘more intimate’ I believe that he is neglecting to tell her something.”  
“Do you talk about ‘intimacy’?” Hoyt asked with a surprised face. In 1963, talking about sex was still a taboo for some reason. People ‘didn’t have sex’ and if they did, they certainly did not talk about it.  
“All she has told me is that she wants to save herself for marriage. I figured she would talk to me about it if she ‘didn’t make it that far’. So far she hasn’t, so I figured she is still saving.”  
“And you really think she would telephone you one evening to tell you that she has been intimate with her boyfriend?”  
“Depends on the situation really. No I do not believe that she would telephone me, all proud, to tell me what she has done. I don’t even do that to my male friends. But if I know her well enough, I think she would come to me if it bothers her that she did do it. If I know her like I think I do, she _would_ feel guilty about not saving herself. Funny thing is though; she actually came to the city to get away from the claws of her parents and finally be able to go out with men. You know, like ‘Barbara Novak’ once wrote about; á la carte. She always said that that was the only part she did not agree on, but sometimes I wonder if she would have stopped if she was with one of those men she would meet up with.”  
“Would you ever have dated her, had you not been married to Nancy?”  
“I probably would have, had I not known her the way I do now. She is a very pretty lady and I probably would have gone for it, yes. Now that I do know her though, it’s an entire different story. I care for her too much to date her that way.”  
“Didn’t you once tell me that every woman you go out with, you fall in love with temporarily?”  
“True. But that is just temporarily. I wouldn’t want to lose her, like I do with the ladies I go out with.”  
“So you are saying you _do_ have feelings for her then?”  
“ _Friendly_ feelings, Hoyt, _Friendly!_ ”  
“At least you believe it.”  
“And what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

Catcher never got an answer though, at that precise moment the ladies re-entered the room and the conversation was dropped instantly.

After a few cups of coffee and a long talk about the day Catcher had, Carly felt that Catcher needed some relaxation and ordered him to go and spend some time with the children. Carly wanted a chance to talk to Jenna since that failed in the kitchen. Gina and Lance never left the kitchen, they kept running around their visitor.

“So, how are you doing? It must have been hard on you too to see your friend go through all this?” Carly started. She decided to play the pity card first, try to find out her feelings about the divorce.  
“It was definitely weird to be present at someone’s undoing of a marriage. I never thought I would be present at something like that. It’s usually the other way ‘round. I felt so sorry for him. You should have seen him, sitting there, so small. I have only seen him like that once before and at that time I hoped I would never ever see him like that again, but he just sat there this morning, so small again, so helpless. I know he is no longer deeply in love with her, but he never wanted this to happen. Deep down, I think he still hoped for her to change her mind and undo the divorce and return to him.”   
“But you just said he doesn’t love her anymore. I don’t understand.”  
“No, he doesn’t love her anymore, but he still cares for her. He knows she is happy now and that makes him happy. I think that he just wants to be married. He is ready to settle down and the one person who gave him that, leaves him and I think _that_ is why he is so sad right now.”  
“Has he found someone who could maybe one day fill that role?” Carly already knew the answer to her own question, but she needed Jenna to see how perfect she was for Catcher.  
“Maybe he has, but he probably already let her go. He is back in his old routine of dating-dating-dating. I wonder if he would even realise that he had just dated the woman of his dreams, but let her go because of his stupid habit.”  
“Wow! You really do not agree on that, do you?”  
“You do not want to know how many conversations we have had on that subject. He is convinced that ‘he really loves all the women he dates, it’s just a temperamental love, but I do love them, truly’.”  
“You really love him, don’t you?”   
“L-love him? No, I do not love him. Not the way you are asking me. I love him as a friend, a very dear friend.”  
“Are you sure? If your red cheeks have a saying in this, I think you might be keeping something from him.”  
“Darn cheeks, heh heh” Jenna replied quickly, how was she going to get herself out of this one? “Look, I don’t love him, really, I don’t. Not anymore anyway.”   
“Not anymore? When did you stop loving him, then?”  
“When Carson came into my life and that was just before Catcher and I became friends. It wasn’t love really, more a crush, like every woman in the building probably had. Nothing serious.”  
“Are you sure? You two seem really close. Are you sure that nothing is going on between the two of you? I have to say, you would make a wonderful couple.”  
“That’s just because he is a man and I am a woman and we are close friends. Believe me; we are far from making a wonderful couple. We both want different things in life.”  
“Such as?”

 _Have to see my doctor on Monday; I seem to be having a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease._

“A lot of things. Too many to mention, believe me. 1 of them being I want Carson and Catcher doesn’t.”  
“Are you still seeing him? How is that going then? Doesn’t he mind you are here with Catcher? Or does he not know you are here?”   
“Of course he knows I am here, he knows about Catcher’s divorce and how I try to help him through it all.”   
“Doesn’t he mind? I mean, you are helping someone through a very rough period. Isn’t he worried that Catcher might start to feel for you, because you are helping him?”  
“No, he is very supportive in that. He loves it that I care so much.”  
“Does he also know about your former feelings for Catcher?”  
“In fact he does, it even brought us together. I told him about my crush on Catcher but because he was married I could not do anything about it. He came over all the way from home and we talked for hours. That’s when I realised how wonderful a person Carson really is and that’s when I fell in love with him.” Jenna cleverly left out the part that instead of ‘crush’ she meant ‘love’ and that he really came over because she just found out that Catcher was going to be a father; Carly did not need to know all that. Plus, what if Catcher ever found out? Nope, it was best that she kept _that_ piece of information all to herself.  
“Wow! That is so sweet. But, why did you not ask him over too? There is enough room here for another person.”   
“I couldn’t do that. I already appreciate it so much that you let me stay here, I could never abuse that hospitality by bringing another person here unannounced. On top of that; I think 1 happy couple is enough torture for Catcher right now, hihi.”  
“Don’t worry about that. If you really wanted to bring him, it would have been no problem. In fact, does your beau have a telephone? You can telephone him and ask him to come over?”   
“As tempting as that might sound, unfortunately it would do no good. He is out with his friends for the weekend. When I told him about me dropping off Catcher here for the weekend HE even suggested to stay here and keep him company since he would be out anyway.”   
“But didn’t you want to go along with him? I am sure Catcher would have understood.” Carly surprised herself by her own remark. She was trying to get Catcher and Jenna together, yet now she was suggesting going over to her boyfriend.  
“No, thanks. I mean, he has wonderful friends, but that’s just what they are; HIS friends.”  
“What? They don’t like you?”   
“Nope, other way around. I am not too fond of them. They are even worse than Catcher is when it comes to dating. When Catcher says he at least loves them for the time he is with them, those … boys … just use them and throw them away again. Why Carson hangs out with them is beyond me. I tried to talk to him about that once, but he said ‘they are my friends, they have been ever since we were little’.”  
“But aren’t you afraid that whenever he is with his friends, he could be doing the same thing? Please don’t hate me for saying this, I really do not mean it like it sounds, but, to be very honest, I would be scared and I just wondered whether you were too.”  
“Sometimes I do, but I also believe him when he tells me he loves me. I don’t think he would cheat on me when he also says he loves me.”

Carly was working her brain to get the conversation back to her and Catcher again. She knew she also had to point out to Jenna that Carson was wrong for her. If only Jenna did not have so much faith in this guy. Even Carly understood that Carson was probably very unfaithful to his girlfriend. Either that or he was telling her the truth and he was very loyal to her, but also to his friends and he just went along with them for the fun. The last sounded pretty hard to believe. She knew that Jenna still felt for Catcher, she was just still in denial, probably even to herself. Carly had given herself the mission to turn that around and from what she heard so far, that mission _may not_ fail, how hard that was going to be? These two belonged together, they just don’t realise it yet, but Carly would _make_ them realise. She was also realistic enough that it would take more than one weekend to make them realise what she already knew, but you had to start sometime.

“Do both men get along? I am sure you all went out once or twice.”  
“Funnily enough they have never met so far. Last time Carson was in New York, Catcher couldn’t make it. I am sure they would get along perfectly, if only I got the two together.”

“Hang on, didn’t you just say that you started dating Carson right before you became friends with Catcher? But don’t you go out practically every weekend? Doesn’t Carson mind?”  
“Carson knows we go out. I would not keep that from him, I wouldn’t lie to my boyfriend.”  
“But… doesn’t he mind? I think Hoyt would go insane if he found out that I go out with this guy he never met before.”

Carly was trying to make her see that it wasn’t natural for a guy to be this okay with his girlfriend going out with a guy other than him. If he would agree to that, there had to be something wrong with the guy.

“Nope, isn’t he wonderful? He doesn’t mind. He knows I am friends with Catcher and nothing more.”

 _Besides, Carson doesn’t know HOW OFTEN we go out. If he knew that he probably would go nuts._

“Jenna? Does Carson know how often you go out?”

 _Did she just read my mind?_

“I do not tell him about _every time_ , I mean, he knows we like each others company, so why tell him every time?”  
“I would want to know if Hoyt went out every time”  
“But we do not ‘go out’ every weekend. I mean, we also go over to each other’s apartment just to have a coffee or something. That doesn’t count as going out. Carson also knows that Catcher needs someone to talk to now and that I am the one he confides in easily.”  
“Are you really sure that you do not feel more than just friendship?” Finally Carly was getting somewhere.  
“I promise you, he is just a friend, a _good_ friend. Nothing more, nothing less.”  
“But if Carson had not come along, would you still have felt that way? Are you sure you wouldn’t have felt more for him then?”  
“I don’t know … maybe. I guess we will never know.”  
“I’m glad you believe it?”  
“What do you mean?”

And, just like with Catcher and Hoyt’s conversation, right at that time Catcher decided to re-enter the room. He had not heard a thing the two ladies had been saying, since he had Gina on top of his neck, holding on to him frantically, while she laughed so hard that Catcher was afraid that she might fall off.

“Hello ladies. Care for a ride too?”  
“No-no, my turn, my turn” Gina shouted with laughter.  
“Okay sweetie, one more spin around the house, but then it’s either your mother’s turn or Jenna’s turn, okay?”  
“I would love to see you carry me around the house, even if it was just to see how long you would last” Jenna laughed out loud.  
“You are on, young lady. As soon as Gina here is done, you are up next.”  
“Promises, promises” Jenna giggled again.

 _This might be easier than I first thought._ Carly thought. _Look at them; they are made for each other, even flirting openly. They would probably not call it flirting, but even a blind man can see that they are crazy about each other._

But like Jenna already said, all these promises were just promises. When Catcher finally returned from that last spin with Gina on his back after 30 minutes, he fell down onto the couch exhausted, stating he was ‘getting too old for this’. When Jenna reminded him of his promise, he of course had to promise her to take her for that spin a day later. ‘Promises, promises’ was all that Jenna could say again, unfortunately Catcher did not take the bait this time. Then Carly reminded him of what he was planning on doing once he had children of his own. ‘I guess I will never have them then’ was his only joking answer.

That evening, after everyone left for bed, Catcher and Jenna were still talking about the day’s events. Catcher never knew until now how much it had hurt Jenna to see him suffer like this. Then again, Jenna never let him know about it either. She felt that he needed all the help he could get and that did not include worries because a friend is so concerned about him, she could hardly sleep at night.

“But why didn’t you tell me about it? If I had known you were worried about me so much, I would never have made you sit through it all.”  
“But, didn’t you tell me that you really needed a friend to be there? Catch, I wanted to be there for you, you needed a friend there and there was no way I would have let you go alone. I only had to sit through something that concerned my friend, YOU on the other hand got divorced today! How could I not have been there for you? Isn’t that what friends are for? I care for you too much to leave you to it, you needed a friend there and I also felt honoured to have been that friend. You easily could have asked your brother had he not have had a pregnant mare due. As much as I hated to see you go through this, I would do it again in a heartbeat… Not that I hope for you to go through all this again….”  
“Really? Even if it would give you those sleepless nights again?”  
“What did I just tell you? You are my friend and you needed me! I would not even need time to think about it, if you need help I am there. That’s what FRIENDS are for!”  
“Thank you so much, Jen. You have no idea what that means to me.”

Catcher moved over to Jenna to give her the biggest hug he could give, hoping that she understood how much it really meant to him that she had been there for him. Jenna hugged him back, letting him know how much she cared for her friend.

 _God, he smells good. He really knows how to give a good hug too. I hope he really knows how much he means to me… AS A FRIEND, JEN! I never realised how much I needed a hug…. I think I could do this all day…._

Catcher loosened his grip a bit and looked Jenna in her eyes. His eyes were starting to moist, though he tried desperately not to show it. A man does not cry and especially not if that man was him! Weird thought, I know, but that’s just how he felt. If only he knew how sexy women thought it was…

“I mean it, Jen. You really are so special to me.”

Catcher moved closer to Jenna’s face until his lips softly touched hers.


	16. Subchapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Subchapter 2**

 **Catcher’s POV**

It was a short kiss, soft and tender; one pair of lips touching the other, nothing more. Nothing sexual and only meant as a show of affection and again to show how much Catcher appreciated Jenna’s help. But then, why did it leave both of them breathless?

More importantly, why did it leave Catcher so confused?

Jenna was his friend. He had to admit that she was his beautiful FEMALE friend, but still…. He never thought of her in that way and he certainly was not going to start now. He also knew that he cared for her too much to date her like he did with his other girlfriends. He knew he would lose her in a heartbeat if he did and _that_ was _not_ going to happen.

 _What have I done? What am I doing? Jenna, please do not hate me now. Please understand that this was just a show of gratitude. I really do not want to lose you over this._

“Li-like I said before; I would do it again in a heartbeat.” Jenna said to break the ice. They had been silent for a number of minutes now and apparently Catcher had a look of waiting for approval of his actions on his face.

He looked at Jenna. Like always, she was blushing and her stutter had returned. He always found that adorable about her. Made him think back to when he was still married to Nancy and she desperately tried to hide that crush she’d had on him.

They would never work. They would probably even break up before they even got together. Jenna was no match for him, was she? Of course she wasn’t and Catcher knew that. But still, why was he so frustrated about that kiss? It had been such a simple kiss, he had even kissed his sister-in-law on the lips before.

Catcher looked at Jenna again. She didn’t seem to be upset about it; she acted like it had been the most normal thing in the world. Catcher had not noticed however that it had left Jenna just as breathless as it had him.

 _Thank goodness! She is not mad at me. I am the only one to react so silly. It’s probably just because of everything that happened today and I am tired. By tomorrow I will probably have forgotten all about it. All I need now is a good night’s sleep._

 _But … I can’t hurry off now. If I say I am tired and want to go to bed now, she is going to think I am running away. I will just wait a little while longer, finish the conversation we started earlier and wait for a signal that shows it’s okay for me to turn in. She will probably be tired too and will not stay up too long… hopefully._

 _I need to say something now…_

 _That’s a first, I don’t even think I can recall the last time I was speechless…_

 _Say something, you git…_

“Catcher? Are you all right? You look a bit worried, is something wrong?”

 _Too late, you stupid. What do I say now? Look at her sitting there, looking all worried. I love her dedication to people. I am almost certain that right now she is worried that she might have said something wrong._

“Catcher, please say something. You are worrying me. Was it something I said?”

 _I knew it. Dear Jenna._

“Sorry, Jen. I was just far away, deep in thought. Of course it wasn’t something you said, stop thinking that you might have said or done something wrong when I do not reply to your question. I promise you, you could never do anything wrong.”

 _And where did_ that _come from?_

“I just … I still cannot believe that today happened, you know. I still cannot believe that I am actually a divorced man. What if people find out? Do you think they will still take me seriously? They will probably lay the blame on me, won’t they?”  
“Stop worrying so much” Jenna said, her worried look returned to her face “I am sure that you will still be taken just as seriously as before. People appreciate you for your talent and you know that you ARE talented. What would they blame you for?”  
“For the reason why my marriage failed, of course. Every case I have heard of so far of divorce, it is usually blamed on the man.”

Now you have to realise that in 1963 it was not so common for married couples to divorce. Of course they happened, but they were not as regular as they are today. People generally also tried to keep it as hush-hush as possible; some even moved away, so people wouldn’t find out.

“But you can honestly say that it wasn’t your fault. Catch, you are not to blame for this, you have to realise that. You are divorced because your wife realised too late that she was meant for someone else. If you had not been married yet, no one would have said a thing about it. Couples break up every day. That is something that you have to get through that thick scull of yours. And don’t worry about people looking down on you, if I ever find out who does, I will hunt them down and kick their butts, I promise”  
“Promises, promises” Catcher jokingly repeated Jenna’s own phrase from that afternoon.  
“You are one to talk mister. You still owe me a piggyback ride”

And that’s what they did! At 2 AM Catcher actually fulfilled his promise from earlier that day and took her for a piggyback ride around the living room. By the time Catcher threw Jenna back on the couch, they were laughing so loud that they were afraid that they might have woken the entire house. Fortunately not an angry face showed itself, so they figured they were safe.

After that, they both made their way to their beds. Though, why Catcher even bothered to try to get some rest was beyond him. He already knew that it was pointless; he was wide awake and would probably not fall asleep for a long time. He lay there, looking at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. All he could think about was that kiss, that simple, innocent kiss. He felt guilty for doing so. But he also thought that he was probably the only one to think that way, because Jenna had understood the innocence of the kiss.

When he lowered his face to meet her lips, he thought it was as simple and innocent as Jenna now still thought, but as soon as his lips touched hers, something happened. He did not know what, but something happened inside. He could not place it and that frustrated him beyond reason. He had had so many girlfriends in the past and also in the recent past and never had he felt that weird feeling in his stomach. He had known love and it had nothing to do with that either, because he had also never felt that weird feeling with Nancy. So what could it be then?

Her lips had been so soft, softer than he had ever felt. If they had belonged to any of his girlfriends, he would have spent an entire night devoted to kissing those lips. He would have started ever so slowly, getting to know these little body parts. He would have softly caressed them with his own lips, then, ever so slowly, he would have softly started kissing them. He would have started at one corner. He loved giving kisses there, he could not explain it. He had always been a kisser, he loved that form of seduction and he could really spend an entire evening doing nothing else, I am not kidding.

After thoroughly exploring that small corner of her mouth, her top lip would be next, he would kiss his way to that other corner of her mouth and then move on to the piece de resistance, his favourite; her bottom lip. By the time he would have reached there, her lips would already be swollen from excitement, which meant that they had not even had a chance yet to swell up from actually kissing him. He would take that entire lip and suckle on it, over and over and over again. He knew women loved that and he loved doing it to them. If he ever tired of that, he would take her mouth fully, softly kissing, caressing and licking it, eventually request permission to enter her mouth….

 _Stop this, you idiot. She is your best friend. How could you think of her that way? If she would ever find out you even thought about it, she would never speak to you again… that’s not true, she is your friend. She would understand.  
But still, stop thinking like that. First of all, she is with that loser and second; she is no match for you. We are not right for each other. She wants entire different things in life. _

He forced himself to stop thinking about her. He could not think of her like that. That’s when he noticed a wet patch on his sheets.

 _You have GOT to be kidding me? When the hell did that happen? The last time I actually creamed my sheets was when I was what? 16? How on earth am I ever going to explain this to Hoyt and Carly? I will just tell them that I didn’t feel too well and that I threw up. If I get up now and put this all in water, I will have gotten rid of evidence and they will have to believe my story._

And so, Catcher made his way towards the bathroom and threw everything into the big sink. Do you remember these old sinks? They were so big; they could fit a child in there. Catcher got rid of the stain and just as he was about to check again if the stain was really gone, Hoyt popped his sleepy head around the corner.

“Good morning little brother. What are you doing up so early and WHAT are you doing so early?”  
“I … ehm … I woke up not feeling to well and … ehm… didn’t make it to the toilet. I am so sorry about that. I have tried to get the stains out of the sheets. I did not wake you, did I?”  
“No you didn’t. I actually woke to the sound of a mare in labour.”  
“How could you possibly hear that?”  
“She is actually in a stable close to the house and you should know by now that I know that sound from anywhere. If you are feeling alright then you are more than welcome to come and help me.”  
“I would love to. I am feeling better now, so if you give me 2 minutes then I will get dressed and join you.”

When Hoyt and Catcher walked over to the stable where the pregnant mare was in labour, Hoyt could not help himself and ask the question that had been on his mind ever since he found his little brother frantically cleaning sheets.

“So, is she pretty?”  
“Huh?” Catcher had been deep in thoughts again.  
“Nausea, is she a pretty lady, or does she have a real name?”   
“What on earth are you talking about?”  
“Oh, come on, Catch. Don’t play innocent here. I know perfectly well that you did not throw up all over your sheets.”   
“And why do you think that?”  
“Because you forgot to change your underwear when you were cleaning up the evidence.”

And now it was Catcher’s turn to turn beet red.

“I-I don’t know what you are talking about”

 _Sure, Catch, you will easily talk your way out of this one. Keep dreaming!_

“Of course you do not. Well then, let me explain exactly what I mean then. You, my dear brother, crea….”  
“I get the point, Hoyt. Now can we drop it?”  
“Nope, I am enjoying this way too much, plus I still want to know her name. If you want me to drop this subject quickly then you better answer my questions quickly. I promise you that I will drop the subject as soon as you drop those names.”

Oh yes, Hoyt was enjoying himself. They knew that they had quite a few hours ahead of them and they needed something to kill the time. And what was better than torturing your little brother?

“You do not even know the woman, so what does it matter?”  
“Oh, but it does matter, believe me, it does.”  
“I could be making everything up and you would never be the wiser”  
“Yes, I would. You have never been a good liar, maybe to the outside world, but not to me. I would know instantly whether you tell the truth or not.”  
“Heh, Jenna always says the same thing to me too. Am I that transparent?”  
“Only to the people who mean something to you. So, how long is it going to take me to find out you are talking about the girl I know you are thinking about?”  
“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me her name and I will tell you if it is her.”  
“Dear brother, you just gave away the answer. You are too easy.”  
“Am I now? And who is this girl you think I am thinking of then?”  
“Oh no, I am not going for that one. If you are still pretending to be in denial, then I will not spoil my own fun and give you the name of the girl of your dreams. All I will tell you is; go for it, my little brother. She is definitely worth it and you might even be surprised to see her waiting for you.”  
“I doubt it.”  
“Like I said; don’t be so sure about it. You might be surprised! How long have you felt this way, anyway?”  
“I am sorry to disappoint you here, but I do not feel whatever it is you think I feel.”  
“Nope, sure you do not. I cream my sheets because I forget to buy coffee too. Catch, what do you take me for? Remember who taught you your tricks? I _know_ who it is you had your mind on when you messed up our sheets, so you can stop denying everything. I even know what brought it on.”  
“What on earth are you talking about now?”  
“I know you kissed her on the couch tonight and I also know how much it upset you”  
“What?”  
“Okay, Carly wanted a glass of water and on her way to the kitchen she passed the living room and saw the kiss you gave her. She told me you had a very frustrated look on your face. The fact that I happened to run into you while you were cleaning up the frustration of that kiss was just a coincidence. Listen, I have known how you felt about Jenna for a long time now, so it’s okay to admit things and if you want me to keep my mouth shut to Carly, then I will.”  
“But there is nothing going on between me and Jenna, I swear. The only reason why that kiss frustrated me was because I was afraid that she would think more of it than it really was. I love Jenna, I really do, but I love her like a friend, nothing more, nothing less. I already told you that yesterday afternoon when I arrived. I don’t know why things happened the way they did in bed, but you have to believe me when I say that they really didn’t have anything to do with me supposedly having feelings for Jenna. I could never do that to her and she WOULD never feel that way about me either. Right now I am not even anywhere near wanting to be involved in any kind of steady relationship and Jenna is practically married. Another reason for my frustration. I kissed someone _on the lips_ who is actually waiting for that famous 4-word sentence.”  
“Look closely, Catch and you might see something you are not expecting to see. After you looked at her, look inside yourself and you might also find some stuff _there_ you had not expected either.”

Hoyt dropped the conversation after that last statement. He wanted Catcher to think about what he had said. On top of that the mare also gave notice that she was really ready to bring another life into this world.

~

Finally, Catcher never thought he would be able to take that long awaited shower. 3 hours earlier, the mare had given birth to a beautiful baby mare and they had stood watching her for such a long time. Catcher only then realised how much he had missed this. He remembered how much he had loved watching one of their mares give birth. Hoyt had asked Catcher to name the mare, but Catcher couldn’t think of an appropriate name. Hoyt then said that he had just the perfect name for her. He didn’t tell Catcher at first though, he had to wait until Hoyt officially introduced the little baby to the entire family.

“Everyone, I would like y’all to meet someone. This is Jenna. Jenna dear, meet the family.”

Jenna could not believe her ears, Hoyt had actually named the little cute mare after her. But if you thought that Jenna was surprised, you should have seen Catcher’s face. He knew why Hoyt had done it, Hoyt just wanted Catcher to open up his eyes and see this truth that he and his wife apparently saw.

“Jenna, I hope you don’t feel offended or anything, but at our farm we like to name our horses after the people that mean something to us and we consider you a true friend. You have been there for my brother whenever he needed you and that really means something to us. Please feel honoured here, because we certainly feel that way”  
“I feel more than just honoured here.” Jenna said. “I cannot even express what I feel exactly, but I want to thank you for this. I cannot wait to tell my own family that someone out there is actually named after me. I also hope that you will allow me to come and visit her at times. I would like to see my namesake grow up, as far as that is possible of course.”

As Catcher undressed himself, he recalled the look on Jenna’s face as she made her way over to the mother and child and made contact with both of them. She looked so happy and looked so proud. Again the thought of being the one to bring her that joy for the rest of her life, came to his mind again and this time he even had to physically shake the thought out of his head.

He turned the knobs of the shower to the right temperature and then stepped underneath the warm spray of the shower. As he put his head underneath the hot stream he could not help it but think of those soft lips again. HE could not believe it that he apparently still had not been able to clear his mind off of it yet. He tried to tell himself that she was his friend, over and over and over and over again.

 _It’s just a fase that I am going through. She helped me out during a very rough period. It’s normal to feel this way about a close female friend. Had she been a guy, I am sure things would have been different. It probably also has something to do with the fact that the women I have been going out with lately haven’t given me that thrill of possessing that I used to know. Yes, it’s easy to get from them what I want, but sometimes it is just too easy. The excitement of actually having to work at it is gone. Damn Barbara and that book. If Nancy had never written that book, things would never have been so hard right now._

 _Then again, I would never have known Nancy … or Jenna._

He washed his hair as he still wondered about why he was feeling the way he was. But his confusion only grew worse as he could not seem to figure out what it truly was that was bothering him so much. It could not only be that kiss, that would be ridiculous. Besides, there was nothing to feel guilty about. It had been an innocent kiss and they both knew it.

That kiss…..

By the time Catcher rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, he had turned off the hot water entirely and cleaned out the residue of the shampoo with just cold water.

It didn’t help though and he grabbed the last option that could take this hea…. Frustration away.

A few minutes later, he cleaned the tiles and himself and made his way out of the shower, now even more frustrated than before.


	17. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 14**

It was a short kiss, soft and tender; one pair of lips touching the other, nothing more. Nothing sexual and only meant as a show of affection and again to show how much Catcher appreciated Jenna’s help. But then, why did it leave both of them breathless?

 _Oh god, no. What am I doing? I am not torturing myself enough, I also need to kiss him now?_

 _How the hell does he do it? When I make out with Carson I feel close to nothing, yet here Catcher is, giving me an innocent kiss and my entire inside turns upside down._

 _My goodness, look at him. He looks like he has just seen a ghost. I have to say something, I have no idea what, but I do. How can I let him know that it meant nothing, that I saw that kiss the exact same way he did? He does not need to know that I don’t mean that entirely._

“Li-like I said before; I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

 _What would you do again in a heartbeat Jen? That kiss or help him out? And of course I HAD to stutter, didn’t I?_

Jenna’s cheeks were a shade beyond red and she knew it. Unfortunately Catcher did too and he could not help but look at her like this.

 _He must be enjoying himself. What must he think of me now? ‘Here is a woman who is almost engaged, yet I get her to blush every time.’ I hate that. Why can’t I ever just remain normal coloured, you know; healthy pinkish or something._

 _And there is that panic in his eyes again. He looks so scared and he needs my help now. Jen, stop acting like a schoolgirl here and help your friend in need. He also looks so tired; I wonder when the last time really was that he actually had a normal night’s rest. I can’t tell him to go up to bed now; he will probably think I mean something else._

“Catcher? Are you all right? You look a bit worried, is something wrong?”

 _My goodness, I have never seen that look on his face. What is going on in his head? He is scaring me now._

“Catcher, please say something. You are worrying me. Was it something I said?”

 _Thank goodness, finally that scared look on his face is getting less, maybe it wasn’t something I said. Not that I could possibly think of what that could be, but I just had to be certain. I wouldn’t want to be the one to upset him right now, he needs me. He does not need me to make him worry about more issues than he is already worried about._

“Sorry, Jen. I was just far away, deep in thought. Of course it wasn’t something you said, stop thinking that you might have said or done something wrong when I do not reply to your question. I promise you, you could never do anything wrong.”

 _And where did_ that _come from?_

“I just … I still cannot believe that today happened, you know. I still cannot believe that I am actually a divorced man. What if people find out? Do you think they will still take me seriously? They will probably lay the blame on me, won’t they?”

 _Oh, poor Catch. I had not even thought about_ that.

“Stop worrying so much. I am sure that you will still be taken just as seriously as before. People appreciate you for your talent and you know that you ARE talented. What would they blame you for?”  
“For the reason why my marriage failed, of course. Every case I have heard of so far of divorce, it is usually blamed on the man.”  
“But you can honestly say that it wasn’t your fault. Catch, you are not to blame for this, you have to realise that. You are divorced because your wife realised too late that she was meant for someone else. If you had not been married yet, no one would have said a thing about it. Couples break up every day. That is something that you have to get through that thick scull of yours. And don’t worry about people looking down on you, if I ever find out who does, I will hunt them down and kick their butts, I promise”  
“Promises, promises” Catcher jokingly repeated Jenna’s own phrase from that afternoon.  
“You are one to talk mister. You still owe me a piggyback ride”

~

A little later, Jenna lay in bed, eyes wide open and not even close to being sleepy. All she could think about was that kiss. She knew it should not mean anything to her because it had just been an innocent kiss. Catcher kissed her just as a way of saying thank you for being there for me. But to her it had been so much more.

Of course they had kissed each other before, at birthdays or when Jenna’s brothers told her that she was an aunt again. But those kisses had been on the cheeks. This was the first time he had kissed her on her lips. As soon as his lips touched hers, she had felt electricity shoot through her lips.

But that bolt of lighting that it turned into did not stay at her lips, it made its way down south to a spot she never felt before. She had felt this strange sensation between her thighs and of course that worried her again, because she had never felt that sensation before, not even with Carson. Why had she never felt that before? Was it normal to feel something like that at all? Who knows, it might not be normal at all. Maybe she was even coming down with something.

As she lay there in bed, looking up at the ceiling, she wondered what Carson would be up to at that moment. Would he be sleeping now? Would he still be out with his friends? What would have happened if she had asked him to come stay with her here on the farm? Would he have accepted the invitation? If so, would they have slept in separate beds? Would Carly have made up a different room for him or would she just have assumed for them to sleep together? Would he have kept to his promise and not try to make Jenna do things she said she was not ready for? Or … would they have made love?

Making love? Or having sex?

She still wasn’t sure about that one. She still thought she loved him, but still, when Jenna thought about being intimate with him, she never called it ‘making love’, always ‘sex’ or ‘being intimate with him’.

Finally after tossing and turning for what felt like hours, Jenna gave in to her exhaustion and fell into a restless sleep. As soon as she was asleep, she was haunted by dreams. Dreams of that kiss. Dreams of Catcher taking it further than just kissing Jenna on her lips. He kissed her lips, caressed them and demanded entrance. He took her in his arms and softly caressed her back and her arms as he pushed her down on the couch. He lifted her blouse up a bit and his hand made its way up to her bra…

Jenna woke with a start, breathing heavily.

 _Why does this happen every time? Why can’t I just have a normal night’s rest after spending a day with Catch? Why won’t you give me dreams like this of me and Carson? I would love to have those. I would love to wake up in the middle of the night after having the most amazing dream of me and Carson. Maybe that would boost my self-confidence a bit and maybe then I would not be so hesitant to give myself to him anymore._

All of a sudden she heard people talk. The sound was coming from the bathroom and she could make out the voices of Hoyt and Catcher. Jenna heard Hoyt tell his brother that one of his mares was about to give birth and asked Catcher to come along and help him. She wished she could have come along too, but thought that it might be a good thing if the brothers stayed alone. On top of that, it might be for the best if she would not join them. After that dream she just had, it might be better if she stayed away from Catcher until she had her mind under control again.

It took her about 30 minutes of tossing and turning again until she fell back to sleep. This time she thought her requests might finally have been answered. She saw Carson coming her way, looking at her deeply in love. She was sitting on his bed as he sat down beside her. She could only see her back for now and she noticed that she had cut her hair short. It almost also looked like her hair had a different colour, but anything can happen in dreams right? Carson started kissing her the way she knew best. She loved the little dress she was wearing, though it was a bit too tight to her likings. Carson gently pushed her down on the mattress as he kept kissing her thoroughly. She could not see her face, so she could not even see herself enjoy it all, but hey, at least she was getting some, right? As he left her mouth, his lips made their way down to her neck and the little hollow of her throat. In the meantime his hands started to wonder. First he stayed decent and just tickled her arms a bit, but then desire got the better of him and slowly they made their way down to her …. Huge breasts? Wow, dreams really did change a lot. Jenna had never really been satisfied with her cup size, she had always been jealous of some of her classmates.  
Carson caressed her breasts through the fabric of her … lace bra? Things kept getting better and better. He unhooked it and took it off slowly to reveal her newly resized breasts. Just like her breast size, her nipples were of the same size; huge, though the shape of them seemed rather odd. The ring around her nipples was more of an egg-shape???  
Carson eagerly gave attention to her breasts, maybe a bit too much attention. As if he almost forgot she was there. When he finally felt that he had given them enough attention, he made his way down, softly tickling her stomach and her bellybutton. When he reached her cropped up dress again, he slid it down her waist and legs. Again she found herself wearing beautiful lace underwear. Even in her dreams she wondered where she might have bought that. If her dreams could at least tell her that too, then she would make her way to that store the next day to buy it. As Carson was about to take of her panties too when surprisingly enough someone knocked on the door. Even in her dreams she was tortured. She was finally about to give herself to Carson and someone DARES to knock on the door and disturb them? How could they?

The door opened and ….. in walked Jenna? But … huh?  
All of a sudden her angle changed and she saw the situation from the Jenna that just walked in and saw Carson make out with herself. When she looked again, she finally saw the face she thought belonged to herself. It didn’t! The face belonged to this woman she did not even know. Now she understood her breast size, her hair and her clothes. They had not belonged to her, but to this other woman.

What was maybe even the worst about this nightmare was that even though Jenna had walked in on them, Carson had not seemed to mind and after he had acknowledged her presence, he turned back to the woman he was kissing and touching and continued to take off her underwear.

Why? Why couldn’t she just have a normal dream for once? Why couldn’t she have that dream she had before with Catcher, but then replace him with Carson? Why couldn’t she wake up now?

Thank goodness, at least one of her prayers was answered as she finally woke up, sweating and breathing heavily. When she finally calmed down a bit, she noticed that it was already light and that the curtains had already been opened.

“I am so glad you finally woke up.” Carly stood in the doorway with two cups of coffee in her hands. “Here, you probably could use a cup.”  
Jenna accepted the mug without being able to say anything yet.  
“That was some nightmare you had. If you want to talk about it, I am here to listen, if you want.”  
“Thank you so much, Carly. I really appreciate it, but I think I need to figure this out in my head first. It was definitely one of the weirder ones and I don’t really understand it yet.”   
“That’s okay. I am sure that you will find out the meaning of it soon. And if you do decide to want to talk about it to someone, just know that I am here and willing to listen.”   
“Thanks!”

The two women chatted a little while longer and then finally Catcher ran into the house to tell everyone that the mare had finally given birth.

~

That evening Jenna lay awake in her bed again. She still had not been able to shake that dream out of her head. It had bothered her so much that at one point Catcher even asked her what was wrong. That was not what was supposed to happen! She was supposed to be the one to ask that question whenever he felt down. SHE was supposed to be the one to be there for him, not the other way around. He had just gotten divorced, he should not be the one to worry about other people. Jenna had shaken it off by saying that she was just a bit tired because of the lack of sleep the night before. “Well, _someone_ seemed to want a piggyback ride at 2 AM” was Catcher’s only reply.

“Why won’t you tell me what is bothering you?” All of a sudden Catcher stood in the doorway, watching Jenna. “I know something is bothering you and I know why you won’t tell me, but it bothers me that you won’t tell me what it is.”  
“It’s nothing, I promise.”  
“It’s a lie and you know that. Stop this nonsense and tell me what is wrong. Does it have anything to do with that nightmare you had last night?”  
“H-How do you know about that?”

 _How on earth could he possibly know about that? Maybe Carly dropped something; she has been looking after me all day._

“I tried to talk to Carly about you and how you have had an off-day all day, maybe she would tell me what was bothering you and she told me that it probably had something to do with this nightmare you supposedly had last night. Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Because you have enough on your mind already. Like I said, it’s nothing. I had a nightmare, so what? I am not the only one to have them, you know?”  
“But right now, you are the only one I know who had one last night. What was it about?”  
“Nothing”  
“If it had been about nothing, they would not have called it a nightmare, now spill” Catcher said with a stern voice.  
“Catch, please. I really do not want to talk about it. I am sorry.”  
“But why? I thought we could tell each other everything. Was it really that bad?”  
“I don’t know, that’s the thing. I am trying to find out what it meant. As soon as I know, I promise I will tell you about it. So far, it just doesn’t make any sense and I don’t want to worry you with something that might not even mean anything at all.”  
“But it does mean something. It means that it bothers you. Please Jen, just tell me about it. It might even make you feel better.”

Why she ended up telling him anyway, she didn’t know, but she ended up telling the entire story. Even the breast enlargement and short hair.

“Could it be that you are not happy about your … ehm … breast size? I-I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with it, but maybe you do?”  
“Well … ehm … I guesssss … ehm … I guess I always would have liked them a little bit bigger”

 _Yup, can’t get more embarrassed than that. Why am I answering anyway? I don’t have to do that, right?_

 _Because he is genuinely interested, Jen, nothing else._

“Why? I mean, why is it that so many women are not happy with their breast size? There is nothing wrong with your size, I promise you. Please don’t tell anyone, but I actually adore a smaller size. Don’t ask me why, I just do.”  
“But that still does not explain why Carson cheated on me.”  
“Maybe it does.”  
“What do you mean? That he cheats on me for real too? That is ridiculous, I could not believe that for one single second.”  
“How did you react when you saw him with that girl? You only told me that he could not have cared less, but what about you?”  
“I don’t really remember, to be honest.”  
“Maybe your answer lies in the way you responded. Maybe you should try to recall that.”

 _Maybe he is right. Maybe I do need to recall everything. I will never be able to do that though. All I can still think about it the way he looked when I walked through that door. The bastard._

And so another sleepless night started for Jenna. She was desperately trying to fall asleep actually hoping for that nightmare to return. She knew that that nightmare had tried to tell her something, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. She knew that there was a possibility that Carson might have cheated on her once, but she could not believe it to be happening now. He loved her and he had told her so numerous times now. She still wasn’t sure about what Catcher said, about her own response to it all. What did he mean by that? How could she have possibly seen her own face when she saw Carson from that angle?

Should she tell Carson about it? Maybe he could help her with it, tell her that it had just been a nasty dream and that she had nothing to worry about. But that would not solve the problem, it would only sooth her worries and make her feel better, but still, the dream was out there and it had to mean something.

Maybe, he would even ridicule her. Tell her that this felt like she did not trust him when they were apart. Would he even get mad at her? She could not help what she dreamt at night, right? She had not asked for this dream, right? Okay, so she had asked for a dream where they would actually make love and in a way they had been, until she found out that it had not been her.

Jenna was thinking about this way too much. Or at least, that’s what she thought.

 _It was just a simple nightmare. Get over it. Stop worrying about it so much. You don’t need to tell Carson about it, because there is nothing TO tell. What am I going to tell him then? ‘Honey, I dreamt about you last night. You were having sex with this other woman and I watched’???? That is just ridiculous. He would probably only laugh about it if I told him. I just need to forget about it ever happening and get on with everything. I will probably have forgotten about it by next week._

But then, why was she still awake? Why couldn’t she fall asleep now? Maybe it _did_ still bother her more than she was trying to convince herself.

At 5 AM she gave up hope of falling asleep and got up. She thought everyone might appreciate it if breakfast was already served. She knew that Hoyt got up at 5.30 anyway, even on Sunday.

She would pack her bag for the trip home after breakfast and they would probably head for the city after lunch. She actually secretly could not wait to get back to her apartment and give Mr. Mister a good hug. Usually her thoughts and worries always made more sense when he was sitting in her lap and things usually cleared up soon after she had thought about it all for a little while. Who needs a psychiatrist when you have a ready and willing cat at hand?


	18. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 15**

“Jenna, finally, I feel like it’s been a year since you were last here.”  
“Mum, it has only been 3 weeks. I am sorry I could not make it last week, but a friend needed me. I can’t bale out on a friend in need, you taught me that, remember?”

It has been a week since she had that nightmare and Jenna hadn’t dreamt about it since. Still, she had not been able to shake it off either. Catcher had asked her about it a few times, but Jenna shrugged it off every time, saying she had not thought about it since. Catcher did not believe it for one second, but he let that lie and just tried it again one or two days later.  
That kiss from Catcher also still haunted her dreams almost every night. Even though she knew it was not supposed to mean anything, it had only been a simple soft kiss to thank a **friend** for all their help. But it still haunted her none the less. When their lips touched she had felt a bolt of lightning shoot through her entire body and she had never heard of something like that happening with just a simple kiss.

Her dreams could almost be categorised as nightmares too. In her dreams Catcher gave that same kiss, but instead of pulling back like normal he didn’t. He took her in his arms and … well, you probably have an idea of what happened next, right?

“Plus, I am back again next week for an entire week! I thought you’d be happy about that.”   
“I am, dear, I am. But that does not mean that I do not miss my only daughter.”

It was a week before Christmas and Jenna also tried to get out of coming over this weekend. Two weeks in a row were a bit much for her. On the positive side; she did get to see Carson 2 weekends in a row and since she was staying for Christmas until New Year’s she got to see him even more.

“By the way, why did you need to help that colleague anyway? You never told me much about it.”

That’s when Carson decided to walk through the door and also had to answer for Jenna

“It wasn’t a colleague; it was a friend of hers. He was going through a terrible divorce, wasn’t he darling?”  
“Y-yes”

Jenna wanted to give a more subtle answer, but that was Carson. Subtlety isn’t his strongest point.

“A man? A divorced man? Jenna! I thought I raised you better than that.”   
“But what is wrong with that mum? He is going through an awful time and he needed my help. Divorce or not, he deserves someone to talk to too.”   
“But divorced? I cannot believe this. I hope you are not seeing him anymore. You should not hang out with divorced men, dear.”  
“What is wrong with divorced men, mum? It’s not a disease.”  
“But a decent girl like you should not acquaint with those people.”  
“You do not even know what happened. He is not divorced by choice, mum. He is divorced because his wife left him for someone else. His wife fell in love with someone else and there was nothing he could have done about it. HE is not to blame for this.”  
“Then he probably had it coming. He probably treated her wrongly then, why else would she find love somewhere else?”  
“She never meant for that to happen too! You do not choose who you fall in love with. They were the happiest couple I have ever met in my life. SHE thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him until she ran into an old boyfriend whom she apparently has never gotten over. She didn’t know until she ran into him.”  
“I will stick to my statement and say that he has probably something to blame for too.”   
“And I will stick to mine. He is my friend and I will not abandon him just because he’s got ‘divorce-cooties’.”  
“Really?” Carson interfered. “I assumed that you would help him through his divorce as best as you could and that would be that.”  
“Why would I want to do that? He is a friend. You do not abandon your friends after they got through a rough period, right?”

 _He’s a friend who turns my insides upside down with just an innocent kiss (Can you tell that that kiss really bothers Jenna still? Jenna really is a bright and smart woman, but when it comes to love, she doesn’t understand a thing)_

“No, but I have known them a whole lot longer than you have known this guy. Plus, think of what people will think when they hear you are my girlfriend, yet you are friends with a divorced man. People will not understand, darling.”  
“All the people I know understand.”  
“But you live in a big city where a lot more strange things happen, dear.”  
“Mum, please don’t start that again. You know I love living in New York and I will not move back here ever. If you would just come over and stay with me for a weekend, I would prove to you that New York is a very safe place to live and I am sure you would enjoy it.”  
“I will think about it, dear” A typical answer her mother gave Jenna when she wanted to drop the subject and also her polite way of saying that it would never happen.  
“Mum, that is not fair. Why do you do this every time? I would like to see you over at my apartment sometimes too you know, instead of me coming over here every time. Don’t start with ‘our other children might come over’ nonsense, because if you tell them that you are visiting your ONLY daughter, they would surely understand.”  
“Jenna! Calm down honey, don’t get so worked up and take it out on your mother.” Of course, Carson has to cut into the conversation too.  
“Stop doing that, Carson. The only reason why I get worked up is only because mum never gave me a chance in the big city. You have been there and you always enjoy yourself, so why protect her so much and take my side for a change.”  
“The reason why I enjoy it so much is because you are there, sweetie pie. I don’t think I would enjoy New York so much if you were not there.”

As if on cue, Joe decided to walk into the kitchen and heard the last bit Carson had said.

“Really? I love New York, even without my sister. I have actually thought about moving there myself, once or twice.”  
“See? I am not the only one. Mum, please, come and visit me for a weekend and I will show you how safe it is and how much you will love it too. You know what? Before you say ‘we’ll see’ I am inviting you over for the first weekend of February. You will love it, I promise you.”

If only you could have seen the look on her mother’s face. She went from surprised to a bit agitated, then white as a sheet and then her usual face that said ‘we’ll see’.

~

Later that evening, Jenna and Carson sat on the porch swing. Jenna was all snuggled up to Carson and they were not really talking about anything, just enjoying each other’s presence. They were out of the view from everyone and so they actually finally felt like they were really alone.

“I love you, Jenny”  
“I know you do. You know I feel the same way, right?” For some weird reason, Jenna was still not able to actually say those words back to him.  
“Now I do. Sweetheart, can I ask you something?”  
“Of course you can. You can ask me anything. What did you want to ask?”  
“Did you mean that, what you said this afternoon, about not ever wanting to move back here and stay in the big city?”  
“Yes, why?”   
“Even if we get married? Do you still not want to move back then?”  
“Carson, you know why I moved away; I never liked living here. Why would I move back to a place I hated living in the first place? That doesn’t make any sense.”  
“I guess I was kind of hoping to raise a family here, that’s all. I do love living here, everyone I know, lives here. All my friends, my family, everyone. All of your friends and family live here too. I thought that it would make sense if we lived here. I know this great place that will come up for sale in about a year or so. You know Mrs. Harlan? She is moving to a home next year and I heard that her son is going to sell it once she moves. You have to admit that it is a lovely house and the yard is huge.”  
“That is true, it’s a beautiful house, but I would never be happy here. I am sure you could be happy in New York too, Carson. I promise you, you will love it. The houses are beautiful there too and there are lots of them with big yards too. We can check some of them out the next time you are over, if you want to.”  
“Are you serious? Are you sure you are ready for something like that? I thought you still thought we were moving too fast.”  
“I do still think that, a bit. But we are just looking at houses; we are not buying them yet. Who knows how long it might take before we actually get to buy one. We are not even married yet.”  
“Is that a hint, my darling?”  
“Not yet. I mean, I have of course thought about marrying you and I think we would make a wonderful husband and wife.”  
“Oh, my sweetheart, you have no idea how much those words mean to me. I know you are not entirely ready for marriage yet, but now at least I know that you are open for it. I do really want to marry you, honey and I cannot wait for the right time to propose.”

He kissed her, hard and passionately. Not the kisses Jenna was used to receiving, but she did not mind one little bit. Secretly she had gotten a bit tired of the sweet and romantic kisses. She wanted more passion and finally he was giving that to her. Jenna moved her arms around his neck and started caressing him at the nape of his neck. Carson seemed to enjoy it, he softly whimpered in her mouth. Carson also took it as a sign to go to a next step and he moved his hands from her back to her sides and slowly he made his way up. Jenna got nervous, but she knew she had to get used to it sometime. She also could not keep him off entirely until they got married. As his hands travelled up more, Jenna took a gulp and waited for Carson’s hands to reach their destination.

Finally Jenna felt one hand caress the side of her breast. It did not take him long to cup her entire breast. When Carson again did not feel any resistance he took the bait and moved his other hand to cup her other breast too.

Jenna still felt a bit awkward, but she did not say anything about it. In fact, she even seemed to enjoy the feeling of it. She was 27 for crying out loud, she was entitled to enjoy this. A lot of women her age had already done this years ago and even had a number of children to prove it. But then again, they had not done so to enjoy it, but to _have_ these children.

As Carson lay her down on the swing (which was quite a challenge, I can tell you) he tried to move his hands back to where he had them, but this time he tried to lift her shirt up first.

“Carson” Jenna whispered, so no one but Carson could here. “My parents are in the house. What if they decide to come out? Here might not be the best place for this.”

Jenna saw hesitation in his eyes and maybe also some disappointment. Disappointment, because again Jenna denied him from something.

“Carson, it’s not that I don’t want to, believe me, but I just do not feel comfortable making out like this with my parents only one wall away.”  
“I-I understand Jenny. Don’t worry about it. Listen, I have to go anyway, maybe we can continue this tomorrow?”

 _All of a sudden he has to leave? I was actually willing to go for a drive or something and he all of a sudden has to leave?_

“Oh, okay. I guess I will see you tomorrow then.”

And before she could say anything else, Carson kissed her quickly and moved to his car and sped off without even looking round to see her wave at him.

~

Jenna was lying in her bed back home in New York when her bedroom door opened. Carson walked in and made his way over to the bed and lay down next to her.

“Oh, sweetheart, I want you so much” He said to her and started kissing her. Unlike on the porch swing, he did not take things slow at all. As soon as his lips touched hers, his hands moved to the hem of her nightie. He moved it up and took it off to reveal her bra. Immediately he searched for the clasp, all the while, he never stopped kissing her.

“Sweetie, you are so beautiful. I have wanted to do this all day. Come here, sweetie and let me give you what I know you want too.”  
Carson’s hands moved down and took off the rest of her night gear and quickly made work of taking off her underwear too. She could not believe it, here she was, with the man she loved and she was finally about to do it with him. All that separated them from doing so were his clothes. He took them off quickly and returned to a ready and waiting Jenna. He moved on top of her and spread her legs.

“Oh Allison, I love you.”

And that was enough for Jenna to wake up. When she focussed her eyes, she found herself in her old bedroom at her parents’ house, all alone. She had not been at her apartment; Carson had not been there either. It was only a dream.

Another dream where Carson cheated on her, the second dream in two weeks time. Her entire body was shaking and she was sweating like never before. Why had she dreamed about this again? Why were her dreams tormenting her so? Did it really mean anything or was it just coincidence? Was this only because she refused to give herself to him before marriage?

Or was she just making a big mistake staying with Carson, when she knew she should be with someone else?

It took her ages to fall back to sleep and when she finally did she dreamt of Catcher holding her close, soothing her and making her feel safe. He told her that everything would be alright, just like he would in real life. He did not kiss her this time, unlike it usually turned out when she dreamt of Catcher. He only held her and told her everything would be fine, nothing else.

That next morning, Jenna’s mother woke up Jenna. It was 9 am and her mother felt that that was late enough. If she wants to sleep longer, she should go to bed earlier. Hesitantly Jenna opened her eyes. She did not want to wake up, she was too tired from her almost sleepless night and she knew she showed it.  
“Darling, you should not stay up so late if you know you will not be entirely rested in the morning. You look awful dear”

 _Thanks mum, I love you too._

“I went to bed at a normal time, mum. I just had a bad dream and I couldn’t fall back to sleep after that”   
“Then it’s an early night for you tonight.”

 _“Really Jenna, did you have a nightmare last night? What was it about? Don’t worry dear, you know that it’s only a dream, it’s not real. Come here, sweetheart and give me a hug. You will feel much better after that”  
“Thanks mum, a mummy-hug usually works wonders. Thanks for being here for me and listening to me”  
Of course she wouldn’t do something like that. She grew up amongst men. Men are not as affectionate as us women are. I can’t really blame her for this. On the other hand, I am glad she never asked what was wrong, what would I have told her if she had wanted to know? I will talk to Catcher later, I will try to telephone him and tell them I talked to Stacey instead._

“Morning Sis, mum made me check if you were really up yet.”   
“Hi Joey. Typically mum, isn’t it?”   
“What happened to you? You’ve got bags under your eyes the size of apples”   
“I hardly slept at all last night, but mum is making me get up anyway.”  
“Boy trouble?”   
“Something like that. I had another nightmare last night and it took me ages to fall back to sleep”   
“What happened? Was it about Catcher? Did he hurt you in it?"  
“Carson did. He cheated on me in my dream. Please don’t start, Joey, I know you don’t like him, but he would never do that to me. He really does love me, you know.”

Jenna ended up telling her little brother the entire story again. Also about the first dream she had had. She could not believe it that Stacey had not told Joey about her nightmare. But then again, Jenna had asked her to not tell anyone. They talked about telephoning Catcher about it, but then Jenna knew he would want to come over and talk face to face to her about it and thinking about the conversation Jenna had had with her mother about Catcher, she did not think that that would be such a good idea. In the end she decided to wait and tell him when she would be back in New York.

“So when is Stacey coming over? I am supposed to know about this, remember?”   
“She’ll be here at eleven and you two are going out for the day. I just so happen to drop you off there, which I will suggest at breakfast.”   
“And where is ‘out’? Mum is going to ask about it and you know that.”  
“You’ll think of something, I know you will” After these words, Joe sped off, not waiting for that pillow to hit the back of his head.  
“JOEY! Get back here.”

What on earth was she going to tell her parents now? Out? Where was ‘out’? it had to be somewhere where she would not run into people she knew, because her brother and her best friend were still not ready to come out and reveal their relationship.

It had been nearly 6 months since they told her that they were in love with each other and things had been going great for them. She had never seen Stacey this happy before and Joe was positively different too. Every month or so they would come up to New York to visit Jenna together so they did not have to hide their love or have to sneak around for a weekend. No one knew them in New York and no one really cared too. Stacey still slept next to Jenna at night and Joe still slept on the couch. Stacey had once told Jenna that she and Joe were holding out until their wedding night, just like she and Carson were doing. “Though I still think you have different reasons for holding out” Stacey had told her. Jenna could not believe her ears, when Stacey talked about holding out until their wedding. A wedding? Her best friend and her brother getting married? That would mean that her best friend would one day become her sister? She left out the in-law part…. Could life be any better? Better not answer that question yet.

 _I know where we can go! We used to walk around all the time. Why not go for a walk towards the lake? That will take an hour or two and have a picnic there. A winter picnic, why not? I’d better telephone Stacey before she leaves…_

“So Jenna dear, where are you and Stacey off to today? Will you be back soon? Maybe you could help me with some of the Christmas shopping.”  
“Well, Stacey and I are actually going for a walk towards the lake today. It’s been a while since I actually spent a normal day with her and we thought it might be fun.”   
“Wasn’t she over 2 weeks ago?”  
“Yes, but Joe was there too remember? I haven’t had a girly talk with her in ages.”

Jenna’s mother actually dropped the subject after that and Joe ‘dropped off’ Jenna at Stacey’s place an hour later. Even though Stacey was to come over to Jenna’s, they thought it’d be more believable if Jenna was ‘dropped off’ instead. Joe decided to join the walk at least an hour later, this way Jenna and Stacey actually would have time to talk without him interrupting them all the time.

Of course she ended up telling Stacey the whole story of that second nightmare again. Again Stacey tried to tell her that there might be more to this dream than Jenna wanted to believe and for the third time she ended up saying that Carson was not like that, that he would not cheat on her and that he loved her. It started to annoy her that no one had faith in Carson. So far, no one had told her that it had only been a dream and that it probably meant nothing. Jenna just needed to hear those words for once, no matter what they thought of Carson. Right now she needed to hear it, if only to make her feel a bit better.

“So, are you going to tell me what is still bothering you, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”   
“Huh?”  
“I have asked you if you knew when your brother was going to join us 5 minutes ago and you still have not answered”  
“I-I am sorry. I didn’t hear you ask. He said he would join us about an hour after he dropped me off, he is probably driving up to us right now.”  
“Answer my other question too, Jen. You are not getting away with that one that easily.”  
“What else did you ask me?”  
“You know perfectly well what I asked you and you will answer me right now”  
“It’s nothing, never mind.”  
“It is something and I do mind. Does Catch know about this problem you will not tell me? If he does, you know I will telephone him as soon as we get back and drag it out of him”  
“It’s nothing Stace. Don’t worry about Catch, he doesn’t know either. No one knows.”  
“TELL ME JEN. I really do not like it when you do this. You really have something that is bothering you, in a way you want to talk about it, but then again, you also do not want to ‘bother’ me with it”  
“I have already tried, Stace, but no one seems to pick it up.”  
“Pick what up?”   
“You really want to know? Are you sure?”  
“Jen! What is this? I am your friend remember? You KNOW you can tell me anything even if it might hurt me. Unless you are here to tell me your brother does not want to have anything to do with me anymore but he does not have the heart to tell me himself. Only then you are allowed to keep it to yourself.”

“Why … why didn’t you support me when I told you about my nightmare?”  
“Huh? I did! We have talked about it for almost an hour, about what it could mean and how I want you to telephone me immediately if you have another one.”  
“That’s not what I mean. Instead of calming me down and tell me that it is just a dream, you immediately went into assault and say that it probably means something. I have already defended Carson 3 times over the last week, saying that he would not cheat on me, yet everyone I told this story to, decided to ignore that statement and went for another kill and brought him down again. I am getting tired of this. I would like to actually be heard for once and be soothed instead of having to defend an action that never even took place!”

Stacey could not believe how stupid she had been. She forgot the one thing that was most important; her friend was in need and needed someone who could help her calm down. Instead she only tried to focus her friend on the fact that it could be reality. In a way she had really tried to help Jenna, but she also needed to be reassured that it was only a dream and that real life _would probably be different_. Stacey did not have the heart to say that she still thought that that dream was not just a dream but probably a way of preparing Jenna to face reality.

“Oh my god, Jenna. I am so sorry, I completely forgot about that. I only let my feelings for Carson out and I completely forgot about anything else.”

Jenna and Stacey sat down in the middle of nowhere, not caring about their surroundings or the fact that a truck could now easily run them over. They talked for at least an hour about how Jenna had felt when all 3 of her friends said just about the same thing, though all 3 of them forgot to calm her down first. They talked about Carson; about how Jenna felt for him (or how she still thinks she feels about him) but also how Stacey feels about him. Stacey promises Jenna that from now on she would try to also see the other side of Carson. Jenna had tried to assure her friend that there really is a good side to him and Stacey should try to see that side too. After both women finally agreed on Carson and both of them felt that they talked everything out, their conversation turned to Joe and how they wondered why he was still not here. They had been out for over 2 hours now and he still had not joined them, even though he should have been there an hour ago. The road they had sat on was the only road to lead to the lake so they could not have missed them. They had also gotten cold and so they decided to make their way back home.

During the walk back Stacey all of a sudden remembered another story Jenna had not told her about yet.

“How did Catcher’s divorce go, last week? How did he do? Since you never called me during the weekend to tell me about what happened, I assume that you stayed with him and his brother for the weekend?”  
“It was awful. Not only for Catch, but Ms. Brown too. She looked alright when we arrived, but when she noticed Catcher had arrived she got very nervous and she looked so guilty for putting Catch through all this. That Jed guy also did not know where to look or how to act. Let’s face it, he is in a way really still the guy who stole Ms. Brown from Catch. After the official documents had been signed she talked to Catch for a while and then she walked away crying.”  
“Why?”   
“I don’t know. I never asked Catcher. I thought that if he wanted to tell me, he would. Honestly I forgot about it until now. Maybe I will ask him about it in a month or 2, when he will be able to talk about it easier.”  
“Then what happened?” you would almost think Stacey was curious, huh?  
“We drove up to his brother’s farm. I still did not really know whether I would stay or not, but Carly, Catch’s sister-in-law made up my mind for me. She almost dragged out my bag before she TOLD me I should stay too. I am glad I did though. It was beautiful up there. The horses were beautiful and even a foal was born when we were there. Guess what they named it? Jenna! Can you believe it? Because I have been such a good friend to Catch, they wanted to thank me and this is how they did that. You should see the little one. She is so beautiful”

“What are you not telling me?” Stacey all of a sudden interrupted Jenna.

“Huh? I thought I was _in the middle of_ telling you the entire story.”  
“No you are not. You are leaving something very important out. Did something happen?”   
“N-nothing happened. Now if you would let me finish my story, you will hear all of it.”  
“You just stuttered Jen! You only do that when you are nervous or when you are trying to hide something. When you hide something you get nervous. Tell me, Jen. You know you want to. What is holding you back this time?”

Jenna couldn’t tell Stacey about the kiss. She just didn’t know how. Stacey would first tell her that that kiss meant nothing and then she would go on this rant again about how perfect Catcher was for Jenna. How she should rethink her relation with Carson (though Jenna also knew what Stacey really meant by that; dump the guy) and choose the man who was really right for her, the man who really would love her and who accepted her like the way she was.

Even though Stacey had promised to give Carson a try, Jenna knew that telling the kiss-story would only fuel that fading fire that she knew was still burning somewhere.

“You really do not want to tell me right now, do you? Was it really that awful? Please Jen, at least tell me that nothing bad happened or at least let me in a bit. Are you worried about what I might think about you or who ever else is involved in this story?”

 _Is she psychic? How could she possibly know to look in that direction?_

Jenna’s mind was racing. She didn’t know what to do anymore. Should she really tell Stacey about the kiss and finally get it off her chest, or should she keep it to herself, save Stacey from rethinking her earlier promises but then leave Jenna with sleepless nights (or worse; dreams of Catcher taking that darn kiss further)?

“Jen? Stop worrying so much about what others might say or think. If you really want to get something off your chest, it might even make you feel better. No matter what the subject is, no matter if you think it might hurt the person you are telling it to. I will still love you, you know that.”  
“Believe me when I say it really is something silly. If I do tell you, you will probably laugh. Please do not be mad at me, but I promise I will tell you soon enough”  
“Don’t you dare feel guilty, Jen. Remember how I kept my feelings for you brother hidden for numerous of years? You have no idea how guilty I felt all that time, but I knew that you would understand once I told you. You know what? I understand you too. You have something to work out first and once you are ready to tell me, I know you will. If not I will find out anyway” Stacey said and winked.

When they arrived at Jenna’s house, they noticed an irritated Joe helping out his mother putting away groceries. He even had the nerve to shoot Jenna a mock angry glance and was called back by his mother.

“Where on earth were you?” Jenna whispered.  
“Your brilliant idea of going to the lake with your friend might have gotten you off the hook for the Christmas shopping, but that meant that I was to be your replacement! Thanks for that, sis” Joe whispered back.  
“It’s your own fault; you made me come up with an explanation for ‘going out’”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, so now it’s my own fault I did not get to spend time with my girlfriend?”  
“Yep” Jenna laughed out loud and walked of towards the living room.

She sat down next to Stacey who had seen the display while she stood in the hallway. They both started laughing again. Oh yes, she definitely felt a whole lot better after a day with Stacey. Stacey always knew how to cheer her up again.


	19. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 16**

“Everything packed?” Catcher asked Jenna.  
“Yep” she answered him with a sigh. She was really not looking forward to spending an entire week with her parents. Of course the thought of being with Carson, Joe and Stacey brightened up her mood, but she would still spend an awful lot of time with two people who still did not agree with her lifestyle.  
“You ready?”  
“Nope”  
“Think of it this way; tonight you will have Carson’s arms around you and then your parents will probably get the hint that you would like to be alone for a while.”  
“Naha, I am not supposed to be romantic with him, remember? A kiss on the cheek is alright, maybe hold hands INSIDE the house when both of them are around and if I am really lucky I can have a hug when he leaves.”  
“And all of your brothers agreed to that too?”  
“They did not have to, they are male, that is different. I am the only daughter and thus I need more protection than the president on a visit to Russia”  
“So how did your parents react then when you told them that you are friends with a man whom you will not marry? Or have you not told them?”   
“Of course I have. I actually told them that I am _very_ good friends with a man who is _divorced!!!_ 3 strikes and one to go. All I have to do to be banned from the family now is get married to this _divorced man_ I am _friends_ with.”  
“You are kidding, right?”   
“Believe me, I wish I was. I am supposed to keep quiet that I even know a divorced man, let alone call him my friend.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you have got divorce-cooties, I think. I think it’s because they are afraid that you might have some sort of bad influence on me, or something. Where I come from, it is very uncommon to get divorced. That is something that happens in the big city, but not there. They immediately assume that the fault lies with the man and that you used and abused your wife. When I tried to explain to my mother that you are not to blame, that Ms. Brown fell in love with her high school sweetheart again, she went into defence, saying that you probably drove her into the arms of another man. I tried everything, but she just does not approve of me being friends with you. She even said that she would keep this from my father and that it would be ‘our little secret’. I told her that I would not give our friendship up. I think that was the first time I actually saw fume coming out of her ears.”  
“So, are you going to keep me from your parents now?”  
“Are you kidding? Of course not. Catch, you are one of my best friends; I am not going to stop seeing you or keep our friendship from them. They will just have to learn to live with that. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem. I can’t wait for my parents to visit in February, please tell me you will come over one night to have dinner with us.”  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But only if it will not get you into too much trouble.”  
“CATCH! I am 27 for crying out loud, I do not need their approval to be friends with someone.”

“I got you a Christmas present, but you can’t open it yet. It’s not Christmas yet.”  
“Catch, you didn’t have to do that, you know.”  
“Of course I did. Now promise me you will not open it until Christmas”  
“I promise. As long as you promise me you will not open yours before Christmas too.”  
“You got me something? What is it? Where is it? Can I open it?”  
“What did I just tell you?”  
“I know, I just chose not to hear that. When it comes to presents, watch out. I am dangerous. I will not wait, refuse it even. Presents are meant to be opened immediately, well … when they are for ME anyway.”  
“But when they are for someone else, it is okay for that person to wait?”  
“Exactly.”  
“Then you will have to wait until I return. I will give it to you then.”  
“That’s not fair”  
“But me having to wait with my present while you open yours 2 days before Christmas IS fair?”  
“Yes. I am so glad we understand each other so well.”  
“No, you understand yourself so well. I on the other hand, am clueless when it comes to your ‘rules’.”  
“So, where is my present? I want it, I want it, I want it.”  
“Too bad, you can’t have it yet” Jenna said while she put Catcher’s present in her suitcase. It was just another present she was already packing, so he had no clue that that one was his.

Catcher dropped the subject after one last “you’re no fun at all”. Jenna got her suitcase off the bed, not noticing that one present for Joe that had somehow ended up underneath the fold of her bedcover. She put Catcher’s present for her in her handbag, so it could not get mixed up with the other presents. Just before she put it in her bag, she had to feel it though. It was shaped like a book, but much too heavy to actually be one. On one side it felt really cold, as if it was metal, the other side she felt something stick out.

Only 2 more days until she found out.

On her drive up to her parents, her eyes went to her bag more than once. She had almost stopped at the side of the road twice to unwrap her present. She had always been very curious too, but not as bad as Catcher was. She could not wait to see Carson’s face when he opened his present. She got him a leather wallet and she had put a small picture of herself in it. That way he could always look at her whenever he wanted to, or whenever he needed his wallet. It had been the most expensive gift she had ever bought and she was even kind of nervous to give it to him. She just hoped he didn’t feel pressured to buy her something more expensive too. When she saw the wallet, she immediately thought of how beautiful Carson would think it was. She saw it right after she spotted that beautiful tie she got for Catcher. She thought he looked so good wearing one and when she saw the tie she had ended up buying for him, she immediately thought of how good that one would look on him.

~

“Jenny, sweetie”  
“Carson? What are you doing here already?” Jenna asked him when he opened the door at her parent’s house.  
“Waiting for you, darling. I have missed you so much. I am so happy that you are going to be here for an entire week, even longer; 9 whole days! They will be 9 days of pure happiness”

 _Has he been drinking? Or did he have too much sugar today?_

“Come here, darling. I am dying to kiss you. Don’t worry about your parents, your father was reading a newspaper and your mother is in the kitchen getting dinner ready.”  
“Wow, you really did miss me, huh?” Jenna said playfully. “Risking getting caught by my parents, just for a kiss? What will happen if I will make you wait?”  
Jenna never got a chance to find that out, because Carson pulled Jenna into his arms to kiss her senseless.

 _Oh yes, I missed you too, especially your kisses._

“Oh, sissie, that is gross. Can’t you take that somewhere I can’t see you?” Of all times, Joe decided to come down from his room right then. Thus they had to untangle from each other.  
“Nothing personal, mate. I really don’t care what the two of you get up to, as long as I just don’t have to witness any of it. She is still my sister, you know.”  
“I will try to remember that once you finally get a girl, Joe. Believe me, I will remember then.”

If only Carson opened his eyes, he would have noticed long ago. But then again; it’s Carson, he doesn’t notice these things. All he sees is what is directly pointed out. If he would notice more, he probably would have noticed the look in Jenna’s eyes whenever she mentioned Catcher. Of course Jenna tried to do _that_ as little as possible when Carson was around, but every time she did her eyes would change into a darker emerald green, they would start to twinkle and deepen like bottomless pool. Carson never noticed a thing; he did not even _really_ remember the true colour of Jenna’s eyes. If asked, he would probably have blamed it on Jenna’s ‘saving herself for her wedding night’. He knew he would not get any until that night, but at the moment, it bothered him. He wanted her and he was tired of waiting. Not that he was not getting any; Allison still gave him what Jenna wouldn’t. After Jenna had refused his advances on the porch swing, he had driven up to Allison and they had done things that night that still made him blush slightly when he thought back to that night. Oh yes, Allison was definitely something special. He even thought about seeing her after he would have been married to Jenna. Just to make sure he would still get what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted it.

Carson had planned on trying to get Jenna to forget about her vow again on Christmas Eve. He knew she was a romantic and she probably thought it would be very romantic to have her first time to be with Christmas. If not, he had already agreed to see Allison that same night too. He had thought it would be a night to remember if it would work out with Jenna that night; 2 women in 1 night. The thought alone turned him on. He had planned everything; he would ask Jenna to go for a walk after dinner. He would take her to the lake with his car to go for a walk around the lake. He knew how much she loved the lake and maybe that would help a bit. As soon as she would get cold he would tell her they would go back to the car for her to warm up. Once inside he would try to get her warm by holding her for a few minutes and hopefully that would lead into sex. He had already cleaned out his backseat to create space. Afterwards he would drop her off at her parents, tell her he loved her and then drive off to meet up with Allison at her apartment. He knew she liked it rough, so after an evening of having to be gentle and slow, he would also get to roughen up a bit again and ravage Allison senseless…… he couldn’t wait!

“What time is Stacey coming over, dear?” Jenna’s mother got Carson back to earth again. He had to reposition himself so not to show how his daydreams had affected him.  
“I don’t know, I had expected her to be here by now.” Jenna quickly eyed Joe to see if she was right, which he, unnoticingly to everyone else, confirmed.  
“Isn’t it time for that girl to settle down with someone too? Jenna dear, is she seeing anyone at the moment? A girl her age should at least be in a relationship leading towards marriage.”

Jenna almost choked on her drink and Joe tried his best not to blush, something he failed at miserably. What was it with her mother and the way she all of a sudden referred to Stacey as a girl as opposed to a woman?

“Why? Just because you still assume women to be married by the time they are 25? Mum, newsflash; I am not married either!”  
“Not yet, dear.” Her mother gave her a sweet smile with a look that said ‘be patient, my dear, it won’t be long now’. What does her mother know that she doesn’t? Is he going to propose with Christmas? That scared her still. She still thought that that was far too soon.

Right then she heard Stacey enter the house through the kitchen.  
“Ho ho ho, where is everyone?”

Jenna got up a bit too quickly and raced towards the kitchen. What was wrong with her? Why did the thought of marrying Carson panic her so much? She had thought of it before and it had never scared her as much as it did now. Would the nightmares have anything to do with it? Or …. ?

“Are you okay? You look as white as a sheet.”  
“Just give me a few seconds, I’ll be fine.”  
“What is wrong, Jen? Please tell me.”  
“I think I am going to be proposed to over Christmas.”  
“But… isn’t that what you want? I thought you loved him.”  
“I-I do, I really do, but … I can’t really talk right now. Not with my mother and everyone else around.”  
“Then we will go outside and talk. If you do not want anyone to hear, then we will go somewhere where no one can hear. I will not wait to hear what is bothering you so much, you really scared me. MS. TAYLOR?” Stacey yelled into the hallway until Jenna’s mother appeared. “We’ll be out for a few minutes. I really have to talk to Jenna about a problem that’s bothering me. Do you mind?”  
“Of course not, Stacey dear. Just make sure to be back in a few. I have dinner almost ready.”  
“Will do mum, promise.”

Stacey grabbed Jenna’s coat quickly and pushed Jenna out the door. She knew that Jenna might change her mind about telling Stacey what was wrong if she stayed inside too long. She had never seen Jenna this scared and she needed to talk to her about it.

“Okay, talk”  
“I don’t know what happened. Seriously, I don’t know. We were actually talking about you and if you are finally seeing someone”  
“Let me guess; a ‘girl’ my age should be married by now?”  
“Precisely, you even got the girl-part right”  
“So, what does that have to do with you being scared?”  
“I defended you, telling my mother that I also was not married and her answer was ‘not yet, dear’. She had this smile on her face that can only be described as ‘just wait, it won’t be long now’.  
“And that scared you” It wasn’t a question, more a statement that Stacey understood very well. “You think it is too fast, don’t you?”  
“Don’t you? We have only been going out for 6 or 7 months and even though he has been hinting towards marriage _someday_ , I can’t help but think it is too soon. I still don’t think I have him convinced to move to New York and I am still a bit scared that he is going to try to make me give up my job.”  
“But you have told him more than once that you want to keep your job, Jen. If he truly loves you, he will understand.”  
“I know. I also can’t help but fear that my mother also has something to do with it. I know she wants to see me married and I would not be surprised if she is actually encouraging him to propose to me.”  
“I should be shocked to hear you talk about your mother like that, but to be very honest; I fear the same thing. Joe will not say anything yet, but I know he’s been under fire numerous times to have him talk to you about that subject.”

“What would you do if you were in my position? Would you say yes?”  
“Very honest? If your brother proposed to me right now, I think I would say yes”  
“Really?” Jenna said excitedly, then she remembered why she asked the question “But don’t you think it would be too soon?”  
“Not for us, I think. I mean, we have been secretly in love with each other without knowing. You have also known Carson for almost your entire life, but you never loved him before you really got to know him. I think that that is a huge difference. Listen, if it is really bothering you so much, then why don’t you talk to Carson about it. Tell him that you have heard all these hints, but that you still think it is too soon. At least then you will not turn him down when he actually asks you in front of everyone.”  
“I couldn’t do that, could I? Shouldn’t I be very surprised by an unexpected proposal? I’ll think about it. If he really loves me, he would understand, right?”  
“Absolutely. Are you alright now?”  
“I think so. Still freaked out by the idea, but after I talk to Carson, I am sure all will be fine. Thanks Stace, as always.”  
“Hey, what are friends for, right? Now, let’s get inside, I am freezing”

~

The next day was spent preparing for the big Christmas dinner. Maggie Taylor thought it would be nice to have Carson and his parents for dinner too. This meant that it had to be bigger and better than ever before. Of course all of Jenna’s brothers and their families were coming too and that meant that the entire living room had to be rearranged to fit the tables and chairs for the dinner.  
Jenna was sent out for the groceries, her brother for a tree and their father John Sr. went out for the wine. When Jenna finally returned after being gone for 3 hours grocery shopping in a town as big as Times Square and was whisked into the kitchen immediately to help her mother prepare some of the dishes already.

Just after lunch Jenna finally found some time to unpack her bags and check if none of her presents were damaged from the trip to her parents.

“Oh no, please no. This can’t be happening. How could this have happened? I KNOW I packed it; I put it right next to mum’s present. I can still see it lying on my bed. Where on earth is it?”

I guess she finally found out that her brother’s present is not there!

“What am I going to do now? Joey is never going to believe that I did get him a present, I just left it on my bed. Mum and dad are going to be thrilled about it and they will be convinced it was time for me to move back home, so I would not be so forgetful anymore.”

“Jenna, who are you talking to?” mum! “I have Stacey on the telephone for you, please make it quick, I need you downstairs with peeling potatoes, dear”  
“I’ll be right down.”

“Hey Stace, my problem saver”  
“Oh dear lord, what is wrong now?”  
“Oh, I’ll tell you later. What is it?”  
“I just wanted to know when I was expected tonight. Is that dinner and tree decoration still on? I mean, your mother asked me if I would not keep you, because she needs your help with peeling the potatoes”  
“I think it is still on. Just come over Stace, I need a friendly face when mum is in her Christmas mood. You also know you can come over whenever you want to”  
“I know, I just wanted to know when it would be safe to come over. You know she’ll put me on chores too as soon as I set foot through that door.”  
“I know, but I also know that you are my best friend and you want to keep me company during my own chores”  
“That is evil, Jen. I will have to think long about this one. As soon as I have thought about that, I will come over. Now, why am I your problem solver this time?”  
“I left Joey’s present on my bed…”  
“Telephone Catcher to bring it over then.”  
“Stacey, I can’t do that. He is going over to his brother. It would mean a detour of at least an hour.”  
“I am sure he would not mind. Phone him and find out. You know his number. You better do it now, before your mother drags you back into the kitchen, Cinderella”  
“Bu…”

Too late, Stacey had already hung up. What could Jenna do now? She could not telephone Catcher, that would be wrong. Jenna stood there, pondering what to do now for a few minutes.  
That was when the telephone rang again.

“Hello? This is Jenna Taylor speaking”  
“Have you been standing by the telephone ever since Stacey hung up?”  
“Catcher? How did you get this number?”  
“Stacey gave it to me. She just phoned me to telephone you as you would … now these are here words … chicken out yourself”  
“Wonderful friend, isn’t she? I should have forgotten HER present.”  
“So, what is the matter? Why didn’t you want to speak to me?”  
“It’s nothing, just like I told Stacey.”  
“Then why did she phone me?”  
“Okay, I apparently forgot Joey’s present and left it on my bed probably. When I told Stacey about it, she told me to phone you and ask you to bring it over. I said that you are at your brother’s and I would never ask you to do something like that.”  
“I wouldn’t mind, Jen. The weather is beautiful, so I am taking the top down and enjoy the ride. A little detour would actually be a present instead of a hassle. I will pick it up and bring it over right away. I was about to leave anyway. Where did you say you left it?”  
“O-on the bed, but Catch, you really don’t have to. I will just buy him something here, really.”  
“No discussion Jen, I will be there in a few hours.”  
“Catch, please…”  
Again Jenna was hung up before she could answer. She decided to phone him back immediately, she really did not want him to go through so much trouble. When he answered she told him that she found the present in another bag, so there was no need to come over. She wished him a merry Christmas and after hanging up, she joined her mother in the kitchen.

“Mum, I need to go to the shops again a little later. Something happened to Joey’s present so now I need a new one.”  
“But I really need you here, dear.”  
“I know mum, but if I don’t go then I will not have a present for Joey tomorrow.”  
And that was her green card; her mother thought Christmas to be the most important time of the year and presents were essential to it too.

A few hours later, Jenna was finally let out of the house to go present hunting. She had no idea what to get him, but she would probably think of something when she was at the store. In the meantime a mysterious convertible stopped in front of Jenna’s old house. The man driving the car got out and knocked on the door which was opened by Maggie Taylor.

“Hello sir, may I help you?” She answered   
“Hello ma’am. I am Catcher Block, I have that present that Jenna had left behind”  
“Present? But Jenna is out buying a present right now, she said something was wrong with it and she needed a new one.”  
“I have the original here, ma’am. May I ask you to give it to her once she got back?” Catcher’s usual smile graced his lips and Maggie could not help but blush a little. _What a lovely gentleman she thought how thoughtful of him to bring it all the way over here. What a relief to see that Jenna also has normal friends in that city she lives in. I hope she has forgotten about that divorced man by now. If she wants to have male friends, this man is worthy of my daughter’s presence._  
“Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee, sir?”  
“Well, I should really be heading to my brother”  
“But you came all this way. Please come in, I will not take no for an answer”

And so Catcher was taken inside the house for a cup of tea. It was what he had hoped for, if only to see his friend and make sure she was alright now. He was seated in the living room where Joey was trying to fit all the chairs around the 3 tables for tomorrow’s dinner. 5 minutes later, Jenna finally returned from her shopping trip from hell. She could not find anything that she liked and ended up buying her brother a book which she hoped he would like.

“Oh, hello dear, did you ‘find’ that present for your brother yet?”  
“I couldn’t find the one I really wanted, but I got him something else. Mum, why are you poring coffee into your good china?”  
“You have a visitor, dear.”  
“ **I** have a visitor? You mean Carson or Stacey, right? Why would you serve them your good china? You have never done that before”  
“Carson and Stacey are not here yet. Just take these cups for you and your company to the living room, dear.”

 _What is wrong with her? And WHY is she blushing? Who on earth could be here?_

When she entered the living room, she almost dropped the cups in surprise.

“Catcher, what are you doing here?”  
“You forgot something remember?”  
“I thought I told you I found it in one of my other bags”  
“I know you did and I did not believe you. I went over to your apartment and low and behold; here it is!”

Jenna tried to look angry at him, but the matter of fact was that she was happy about it. She would never tell him that of course. She hated the present she ended up buying for her brother and she was happy to see her friend again.

“Don’t try to pretend to be angry, Jen. I know you are happy I brought it over. I told you over the telephone that I did not mind that little detour. The sun is shining, I’ve got my top down and I am really enjoying this trip, I promise you.”  
“Mr. Block, please excuse my daughter’s manners. Here is that cup of coffee.” Maggie took the cups from Jenna who still held them and placed one of them in front of Catcher. “Jenna, please also poor Carson and Stacey a cup, Carson just arrived and I think I heard Stacey’s heap of junk she calls a car coming up the driveway.”  
“So, am I finally going to meet your beau?”

When Carson walked into the room, Jenna went over to him quickly and kissed him on the lips. Something she had never done before in her mother’s presence. It also surprised Carson, but he never complained about it. Carson noticed the man sitting where he usually sat and went over to him to introduce himself.

“Hello, I’m Carson Jackson, Jenna’s boyfriend”  
“Hello, I’m Catcher Block, Jenna’s … normal … friend”

When Carson heard Catcher’s name, his face turned red for a millisecond. He could not believe that Jenna was still seeing that guy. Hadn’t she promised him that she would not see him anymore? Hadn’t he told her he did not want her to see him anymore? How could she do this to him? How could she still see this man who is divorced and will only put wrong ideas in her head? On the other hand, maybe this guy knows how to get a woman to have sex with him. She listens to him, right? Maybe he could talk to the guy and convince him that saving yourself for marriage is a thing of the past, or something. He didn’t like the guy, the way he looked at Jenna wasn’t right. He also could not believe how taken in Jenna’s mother was with him. Doesn’t she know who this guy is? Probably not then. He would talk to her mother when this guy was gone and tell her who this guy really is.

“Hello Catcher, we finally get to meet.”  
“I was just telling Jenna the same thing.”

If Catcher had his doubts about Carson before, he knew for sure now. He did not like Carson at all. He was pretending to be someone he was definitely not. That look in his eyes worried him. He couldn’t just tell Jenna about it, she obviously loved him, looking at that kiss she just gave him. Though he did think she only did that to show Catcher she really loves Carson.  
Another reason why he really wanted to come over was because he knew how Jenna’s parents thought about him being divorced. He figured that they would not remember his name, so he would probably be safe until they made the connection. He wondered if they would throw him out once they found out who he was. Why it was also so important to him that Jenna’s family liked him, he did not understand. Maybe because he wanted to show her family that she led a good and safe life in the city with friends who really cared about her…

Maybe …

“Catcher came over to bring that present that somehow fell out of my bag before I came over. Isn’t that kind of him?”  
“Definitely, thanks so much, _mate_. My Jenny here tends to forget things, I’m glad you came to the rescue.”  
“I did not forget, Carson, it fell out of my bag.”

They all talked for a while and Catcher really got on with Maggie and some of her brothers. Carson however hated that fact. He also still had not had a chance to talk to him about ‘doing Jenna’. Catcher would probably be leaving soon and he really needed advice on how to win her over.   
When Jenna finally got up to go to the kitchen for a check up on dinner, Carson took his chance. Unfortunately that only upset Catcher. Catcher did not let it show though. He did not want to upset Jenna or her family and he just pretended to listen to Carson. He advised him not to throw himself on Jenna, but take it slow, see how far she wants to go and if she doesn’t he should not push. If he really loved Jenna, Carson would wait and it would be more than worth it. Carson pretended to take his advice, but still decided to go for it that night. After that conversation, Catcher announced he really had to leave if he wanted to make it to his brother’s before dark.

“So, can I have my present now? It’s only 8 more hours until Christmas. Please”  
“Sorry Catch, you are just going to have to wait. I know you will open it as soon as I give it to you and then it would not be a Christmas present anymore, now would it? Then it would be an almost-Christmas present and I would not have given you anything for Christmas.”  
“But couldn’t you even give it to me already as a thank you for bringing that present? I promise you that I really will not open it yet”  
“You are just trying to make me feel guilty. That is exactly why I did not want you to come over and bring it anyway.”  
“Is the guilt-thing working?”  
“Ugh. Will you really promise me that you will not open it until Christmas?”  
“Really really” Catcher said with his fingers crossed behind his back. Unfortunately he made the mistake to do so in front of his car and the paint of the car mirrored his back and thus his crossed fingers.  
“You’ve got your fingers crossed, I can see that you know. Now I will really make you wait until I get back.”   
“But that’s not fair”   
“And crossing your fingers behind your back whilst making a promise is?”   
“Yes, because you were not supposed to see that”  
“Too bad, Catch”   
“I am not leaving without it.”   
“Then I am going to ask my mother to make up the spare room, because I will not give it to you.”

“Pretty please?”

“I will see you in a week Catch!”  
“Wow, you really are a tough woman, you really will not give in, will you?”   
“Nope”


	20. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 17**

“What a nice man, Jenna. I am glad to finally see that at least you also have decent friends.”  
“Decent? That was that divorced guy, Mrs. Taylor”  
“What? But Jenna, you promised you would never see him again, how could you? And I even welcomed him into my home.”  
“First of all, I never promised anything like that at all, he is my FRIEND and I would never abandon a friend. Second, you JUST said that you thought he was a nice man, mum, he is a very nice man even though he is divorced.”  
For the first time ever some of her brothers actually agreed with Jenna. They thought he was a nice man too and if he was divorced than there must be a reason for it. It does not necessarily mean that it is his fault. When Jenna told everyone the story of how he ended up divorced, they agreed that he might not be to blame for it all. She could not believe her ears; did her brothers actually agree with her for once. What disappointed her on the other hand was Carson’s defensive reply. He knows that Catcher is a good friend and she has told him more than once about the situation that Catcher unwillingly ended up in. He also knows that Jenna will not stop seeing him just because Carson feels it might be bad for his and her reputation.

“Jenny darling, we really have to talk about that Catcher-guy. I really don’t want you to see him anymore. He is bad for you and you know that.”  
“Excuse me? He is bad for me? He is a great friend Carson, something he only proved by brining over that present that fell out of my bag before I left.”  
“Just you wait, Jen. Something will happen soon if you keep friends with him. I really do not want you to anymore.”  
“Too bad Carson. I will not stop being his friend just because you want me to. How would you feel if I stopped seeing you because Stacey didn’t like you because of some weird reason that only makes sense to her?”  
“That is completely different, Jenny.”  
“No it is not. How on earth could it be different?”   
“Because I am not divorced”  
“Will you stop talking about this stupid divorce? Just because he was unfortunate enough to have that happen to him, doesn’t make him less of a person. Would you stop seeing me if my parents would get divorced?”  
“Jenny, that has nothing to do with it.”  
“Yes it does, now answer my question; would you?”  
“Of course I would not.”  
“Then why can’t I be friends with Catcher then? What is the difference between Catcher and my parents? Both of them divorced, yet my parents are different?”  
“Jenny, sweetie, relax.”  
“No, I will not relax. I am angry at you because you are talking nonsense about a good friend”  
“Okay, I didn’t want to tell you the real reason, but I am afraid I have no choice now.”  
“What? What are you talking about Carson?”  
“I … I do not trust him, okay. There is something wrong about him and I will find out what that is.”  
“WHAT? I don’t believe this. Carson, stop acting like a fool okay? There is nothing wrong with Catcher. I cannot believe you are saying this.”  
“You know what Jenny; keep being friends with him and you will find out soon enough what kind of a man he really is, alright.”  
“What is that supposed to mean? Reverse psychology? It’s not going to work Carson, he is my friend and he will always be my friend. If you don’t like it, you should learn to live with it because I will not ban friends out of my life just because you do not like them”

After these words, Jenna walked away. She just could not believe what Carson had said to her. How could he act the way he did when he did not even really know Catcher. Could he be jealous of their friendship? Of course that had to be it. She could not believe she had not seen that before. He knows that she is good friends with Catcher and that probably scares him, makes him jealous.

 _Stupid Jen. You should have known that men are not that easy when their girlfriends are friends with other men. How would you feel if Carson has a close female friend? Would you be okay with that? I wouldn’t tell him that he could not see her anymore, but I guess I would want to find out how close they are. How can I make it up to him now? I can’t tell him that I forgive him for being jealous, that would be throwing salt on a wound. Maybe if I talk around it a bit, he’ll forget it and we’ll return back to where we were. Oh goodness, there he is._

“Jenny sweetheart …”

 _I hate it when he calls me that, but I can’t say anything about that right now either._

“You want to go for a walk around the lake? We can talk without anyone interrupting us.”  
“Okay, but I need to get my coat then”  
“I already brought it. And don’t worry about your parents; they already know I am taking you away for a little while. I told them we just wanted to talk in private for a while and they understood. Stacey promised to be here when you return.”  
“Thanks” Jenna replied quietly. All of a sudden she was afraid that he would break up with her. But then again, would he still call her Jenny or sweetheart?

When Jenna got into Carson’s car, she noticed how clean it was. She had never seen it this clean before, usually he used his car as a big bag and just threw everything in. But now, it was empty and she even noticed a blanket graced the backseat.

“Wow, you cleaned up here.”  
“What, you make it sound like it was a mess in here.”  
“No Carson, your room is a mess, your car could only be described as a disaster area”  
“Hey, it was not that bad. I’m glad you like it though. I am trying to stick to it and who knows, one day I might even clean up my bedroom too.”  
“Heh, you know what they say; seeing is believing” Jenna started laughing. She was happy that the mood between them had changed a bit. She knew they really needed to talk about Catcher, but for now, this was fine too.

“I’m sorry for my behaviour back there, darling. I was really out of place and I should never have said what I did. It’s just … you know how I was raised and I guess I maybe need to change. Still does not mean that I don’t agree with everything I was taught. I still firmly believe that a woman should not be friends with a man who is divorced, but if I cannot change your ideas, then maybe I need to accept that.”  
“I will not start the whole ‘divorce-cooties’ conversation again, because I know we will never agree. But that is okay; we do not need to agree with _everything_ the other says or does, that’s what keeps a relationship going. Besides, not agreeing could also lead to some very fun events afterwards. You’ll probably find that out once we are married.”  
“Wow, that is the first time you actually acknowledged my vow to one day marry you. Will you really?”  
“Of course, one day I will.”  
“Darling, I know you still think it is too soon. I understand that, I promise. Once I think the time is right, then I will go down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. Until then, all I can do is dream of you in that beautiful gown and hear you say ‘I do’.”  
“Thanks Carson. I really appreciate that. I won’t be long now, I promise. Hey, who knows, maybe I will surprise you one day and propose to you instead.”  
“No way, absolutely not. I love your independence and everything, but I don’t want you to propose to me. Call me old fashioned, but only a guy can propose, not the other way around”  
“Really? I promise you you’d love it. Please?”  
“Nope, sorry.”  
“Oh, come on. Pretty please?”  
“No sweetheart, it is just wrong. I know it is probably very hip and modern in New York, but I am not a New Yorker and so I don’t take proposes, I only hand them out.”

Jenna felt herself grow happy again. She hadn’t felt this happy around him ever since their conversation over a week ago with her mother about Catcher’s divorce. See, she knew that this was love. She was happy to be around him and they were laughing again.

When they arrived at the lake, Jenna got out of the car and waited for Carson to join her. She really loved this time of year at the lake. It was frozen, but it wasn’t that frozen for adults to ice skate on it. The trees were undone of their leaves and a thin layer of frost graced the branches. It was even lovelier after snow. You could not even drive up here when snow had fallen. Jenna and Stacey had walked up here a lot of times when it had snowed. They would walk around the lake and fantasize about their future. Dreaming of what their husbands might be like. Now, here she was with the man she would probably marry within the next 2 years. Carson walked up to her and put his arm around her as they started to walk. After being quiet for a few minutes, Carson decided to start a conversation that hopefully eased Jenna a bit and maybe it would even rushen the process of getting married.

“What do you think our children will look like?”

Normally that would be a question a woman dreams of hearing. It meant that he was seriously thinking of their future together. Unfortunately it scared Jenna again. She had just eased her mind about that ‘marriage-thing’, but now he was talking about children? She knew he meant well, but she couldn’t tell him that it scared her more to carry his children then to marry him. What was wrong with her today? The man she loved wanted to marry her and start a family with her; this should be one of the happiest days of her life.

“Jen?”

 _Oops, how long have I been quiet since he asked that question? Better answer him soon. Don’t know what to say though, hopefully my mouth will think of something before he will ask me if anything is wrong._

“Sorry, I was just thinking about that, to be honest. I don’t know, really. W-what do you think we will have? A boy or a girl?”  
“I think we’ll have a boy first, don’t you? Carson John III, hopefully after a year we will welcome a girl. 1 Girl is enough for me, but I would like a few boys though”  
“A-a _few_ boys? H-how many children were you thinking of?”  
“5 or 6, maybe more. I have always dreamt of a large family.”  
“But … when will we take care of them? I mean, I assume you also want to keep your job.”  
“We’ll think of something. Maybe one of our parents would like to baby-sit them until you decide to retire.”  
“Or until _you_ do”  
“Sweetie pie, you know I can’t. My father would kill me if I would. He expects me to take over the shop when he retires. I’m afraid I don’t have a choice. Just like I expect one of my boys to take over the shop from me when I will retire. It is a family business, darling, and I would like to keep it that way too. It has been like this for 4 generations now.”  
“I know, but what if I never want to quit my job?

Hang on, but how are you going to keep your job when you move to New York? You can’t drive up there every day. How are you going to manage then?”  
“By hopefully convincing you that you would really, really, really be happy here?” He tried with a wink and a smile. He forgot that if he started about a family, he had to move around the fact that he wanted that family here and not in the city.  
“Please, let’s not talk about that now, we will think of something when that time really comes, darling. I promise we will figure this out in a way that is perfect for both of us. Instead, why don’t we have some fun with thinking of names for these little ones?”  
“Well, if we are going to talk about children and since apparently we are having multiple, I would rather for that one girl to have a sister too. You know about my situation and believe me, it’s no fun for just 1 girl.”

But if she was truly honest, she would rather not have so many children at all.2 would be nice, 3 at most. How on earth was she going to convince Carson to stop at 2 or 3?

“And what would you call them? Don’t tell me you have never thought about that?”  
“Seriously, not since I was 12. Okay, I’ve got one, what about _Allison_?”

Blood drained from Carson’s face and he had to lean on Jenna for support. Had she really said that name just now? Would she know anything? Has someone seen them together? Or does she just really like that name?

“Allison? Isn’t that very … modern?” Carson knew it made no sense, but it was the only thing he could think of to say, before Jenna maybe started asking questions about his behaviour.  
“I don’t know, the name came to me in a dream once. It kind of stuck with me. You really don’t like it?”

Jenna and Carson continued to talk about children and their future for another 30 minutes. In these 30 minutes Carson grew more and more desperate to turn the mood around into a more passionate one. On top of that, Jenna did not seem to be getting cold at all. His plan wasn’t working yet even though he was freezing. If he couldn’t’ think of anything within the next 15 minutes, he would play his own cold-card to get her to return to his car. Maybe he should just try stopping her and just out of the blue starting to kiss her. If she wants to know why he all of a sudden stopped their conversation he could always tell her that he just had this urge to kiss her and he couldn’t wait anymore.

And that was exactly what he did 5 minutes later. He hadn’t been able to think of anything else and the thought of him making such a sudden yet in his eyes romantic move had turned him on ever since he thought of it. Just like he had expected, Jenna was surprised, yet she didn’t seem to mind. Maybe this was going the way he wanted it after all.

Jenna really liked Carson’s initiative and she actually thought it was a romantic gesture that he just had to kiss her at that moment. She really loved his kisses and she couldn’t help but think what it would be like to actually go all the way with him. For the first time since he asked her to be his girlfriend, she was actually turned on and wanted to take this one step further. She still wasn’t ready for ‘everything’ but she was ready for some form of physical contact.

“I am freezing, darling, let’s get back to the car”

If Jenna had paid attention, she would have remembered that it was awfully coincidental that the car was spotless.

When they arrived at the car, Carson was very gracious and even opened the door for her first. When he got in himself, he didn’t waist any time and returned to Jenna’s lips immediately. Jenna did not seem to mind, though she wouldn’t mind if he just slowed down a bit. Outside at the lake, Carson had been soft and gentle, yet right now he was much more passionate, kissing her hard. His hands were everywhere; her back, her arms, her hips and slowly they made their way up to her chest again.

“Carson, please slow down a bit. Are you in a hurry?”  
“No, darling, I’m not in a hurry. It’s just … when I am with you, I can hardly keep myself under control. I love you so much and I want to show you how much so badly.”  
“Then show it to me slowly.”  
“Are you sure? I mean, are you ready for me to show you finally? That would really be the best Christmas present you could ever give me. Darling you have no idea how long I have waited for you to say these words. I love you so much. I knew you would see one day that saving yourself for our wedding night is a lovely idea, but why wait when we can experience making love now?”  
“Oh dear… I-I didn’t mean going that far. I am so sorry Carson, but I still hold to that resolution. I still want to save myself until our wedding night. However I don’t see anything wrong with … warming up a bit. Please don’t hate me for this. I promise you, you will not regret waiting so long.”

It was hard for Carson to hide his disappointment, but he knew he had to. He knew if he tried anyway, she would leave him immediately and then they would never get married. That was his main concern. He only wanted her as his wife, no one else; she was the only one who made him look good. When he got his face under control, he looked at her lovingly and told her it was all right.

“Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I know you think this is really important and of course I will stand behind you and your decision. You can’t blame me for keeping hope though. I guess it’s a male thing, please excuse us, we can’t help it. If you think you really need to do this, then we will wait. Every time I do try, you just slap me and I will be fine again.”  
“Thank you” Jenna whispered. She felt guilty for doing this to him, even though she was secretly willing to do so. “But that does not mean we have to stop with what we were doing, right?” She said and kissed Carson again. Who was Carson to deny her? His plan hadn’t worked, but he was still seeing Allison later. At least she would not deny him. At least he would enjoy what Jenna was willing to give him now. He was as hard as a rock, but he would not shy away from it, he wanted to let Jenna feel how much she affected him. It was a tricky thing to do, but maybe in the end, she would change her mind after all and give him what he has been hoping for for so long now.

Of course Jenna had felt Carson’s erection. On one hand it really bothered her; she did not know how to act upon it. She couldn’t just deny it, it was poking her leg. But if she acknowledged it, Carson might want to try to have sex with her again. It made her feel uncomfortable, because in a way she felt pressured to doing something she just told him she wasn’t ready for. Of course she knew that he could not help it, but he did not have to point it out like this.

Yet on the other hand; it did turn her on that she could get a man this excited. Apparently she was doing something right. That feeling of having this kind of power over a man made her feel confident.

If only she would feel those butterflies she had felt when Catcher had innocently kissed her.

~

That night, Jenna had one of the worst nightmares ever. She was walking around the lake all by herself and her face looked happy, as if she had finally made a decision or something. In the distance she noticed a car, but she could not yet see what kind it was. As she got closer she noticed it was Carson’s car, just like she had seen it that evening when they had taken that walk together. Would she in her dream take that last step she was so afraid of? Would this be a way of telling her that it would be okay for her to take that next step, convincing her that Carson really was the one she loved? As she got closer and closer she couldn’t make out if Carson was actually in the car, she did not see him sitting behind the wheel, in fact she couldn’t even see anyone in the car. Maybe he was looking for her around the lake. Just as she had decided to stay with the car until he returned, she saw a head come up in the backseat; Carson! So he was there, maybe he had fallen asleep while waiting for her. Then she saw another head come up.

 _Oh, please. Not again. Why does this keep happening to me?_

When Carson saw Jenna, he chuckled and made way to open the car door for her.

“Get in Jenny darling, before you get cold.”

How could she? How could she possibly get in the car when he was with another woman?

“Get in the car, darling, I want to show you something”

She did! She actually got in the car and closed the door.

“Wha … What did you want to show me? She asked.  
“I wanted to show you how easy it is to actually give me what I need. See, Allison here doesn’t have any problems with giving it to me, when I want it and HOW I want it.”

And to prove that to her, Allison moved down on Carson’s body and … what the hell was she doing? Was she kissing him … _there?_

“Why are you doing this to me, Carson? Why is it so hard for you to stay true to me and just wait for me?”  
“Why wait when I don’t have to? I told you before that a man has needs and if you won’t fulfil those needs, I need to get it elsewhere. As long as you will not, I promise you that Allison will. I want you to stay and watch, darling. Maybe then you will realise that your stupid resolve only makes me go out and seek it elsewhere. Maybe then you will give me what I need.”


	21. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 18**

When Jenna woke up, she found her brother by her side, already holding on to her and trying to wake her up from her nightmare.

“Sssshh, calm down sis, it was only a dream. You are safe now”

But all Jenna could do was cry. Why was this happening to her all the time? Why were these nightmares torturing her so? What had she done in a previous life to deserve this torture? Maybe it was about time that she talked to Carson about this. But then, would he understand? Would he get mad at her for not trusting him?

“Jen? Please talk to me, tell me what happened.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Was it about Carson again? It was, wasn’t it? Did he dream-cheat on you again?”  
“Yes” she whispered so soft that Joe hadn’t even heard her say it, he had however seen her say it.  
“Will you tell me about it? It will ease your mind a bit if you talk about it now. Maybe you will even fall back to sleep after you do.”  
“But I don’t want to talk about it, please don’t take that personally. It does not mean that I don’t want to talk to you about it, I just wish there was nothing to talk about, you know? I don’t want these dreams. Why does this keep happening to me?”  
“I wish I knew sis, really. And if you don’t want to talk about it yet, then you do not have to. I will just hold you until you feel better.”  
“Thank you so much, Joey. Stacey is one lucky lady to have you”  
“No, I am the lucky one, believe me. Just like Carson is the lucky one to have you. You are a diamond amongst dirt, Jen and don’t you ever let them tell you otherwise.”

“Do you think I should see these nightmares as some sort of warning?” She asked him after a long silence.  
“I don’t know. Do you think he might be cheating on you for real?”  
“I don’t think so. He is always so considerate, he tells me he loves me and he is always there for me. Would someone who cheats on his girlfriend do all those things too?”  
“I wouldn’t know, I have never cheated on any of my girlfriends. Do you want me to find out? There is this girl who has been dying to go out with me for months now.” Joey said with a chuckle.  
“Don’t you dare. I will kill you if you hurt Stacey.”  
“Just like I will Carson if he ever hurts you. Remember that Jen.”

Of course her night of cruelty was not over when she finally fell asleep again. As every time before, her next dream was about Catcher. How he held her when she cried, how he told her that everything would be okay and that he would always be here for her. This time he undressed her and himself and lay her down underneath her bedcovers. He slipped in too and just held her close. She didn’t understand why he would go through all this trouble of undressing them both and then just hold her. It did calm her mind and the rest of the short night her dreams were safe from Carson, Catcher, Allison and naked body parts touching each other.

Unfortunately that remainder of the night was shorter than she hoped and only 2 hours after she had finally fallen asleep her mother was at her bedside again to wake her up. Again her mother told her she looked awful, asked her whether she ate right, slept right and the ever present comment that it might be better for her if she finally gave in and just moved back home. The rest of the day wasn’t much better, she was still shaken by her dream and not only her family but also Carson’s family commented on her tired look. All she wanted to do was go to bed and sleep. She couldn’t talk about her dream, they would all just think she was silly for worrying about a ‘silly dream’ that couldn’t mean anything. She would just be told to ‘get over it’.

When everyone finally left late that evening and after everything had been cleaned up, Jenna was finally able to go to bed. When she tiredly stumbled into her room, she fell over her bag and out fell her present from Catcher which she had saved for the end of the day. She again couldn’t tell anyone that he had bought her a present, let alone that she had bought him something. She sat on the bed and unwrapped the metal cold, book shaped present and finally she understood the feeling of metal and the shape of the present; he had bought her a beautiful picture frame.

“Oh my goodness, it is beautiful.” She said out loud, forgetting for a second that she wasn’t alone in this house.  
“What is?” Came a voice at the door. Luckily it wasn’t her mother, but Joe.  
“This present Catcher got me. Look at it.”  
“That is indeed very nice. I didn’t know he got you a present. Why didn’t you put it underneath the tree, just like all the other presents?”  
“Are you kidding? I couldn’t put a present under the tree from ‘that divorced man’. I would have been disowned and single within 3 seconds…. Don’t you dare comment, Joe. I still love Carson and believe it or not, but I do still also love mum and dad, okay.”  
“Did you get him anything?”  
“Of course I did. He is my friend.”  
“What did you get him then? A new black book? A new key to replace the outworn one used by his girlfriends? The truth? Idea for an expose?”  
“Why would I get him a black book? I hate it that he does that, so why encourage it more?”

Apparently she had not heard Joe’s other comment.

“I got him a tie, which sounds lame now. Maybe I should give him that book that I ended up buying for you yesterday to go along with the tie.”  
“You actually went out to buy me something else? Why couldn’t you just have told me that you left the present at home? I would have understood, Jen.”  
“I know you would, but the rest would not have.”  
“Sorry, forgot about them. So you finally do admit you forgot that present then?”  
“I didn’t, it must have fallen out of my bag, seriously.”   
“If you say so….”  
“I guess you will never know, will you?”  
“So what are you going to put in the frame? Do you have a picture of you with Catcher?”  
“Joe, stop it. I am going to put a picture of me and Carson in there of course. I have some at home.”

In the week that followed, Jenna had 3 more nightmares about Carson cheating on her. At the end of the week she couldn’t even think straight anymore. She was exhausted from not sleeping, but also from frustration of those nightmares. She had talked to Stacey and Joe numerous times, but it did not stop those nightmares. All nightmares were with the same girl, though her hair changed every time and not always was her face visible, but she knew it was her. She did not know anyone called Allison, so what could it mean?

She had the nightmares every time after she had seen Carson that day. She worried more and more that it did have something to do with her saving herself. She worried that it was a sign to grow up and stop acting so foolishly and just give him what they both wanted (or so she now thought). But if she really wanted to give herself to him, then why did it scare her so much at the same time.

Carson was very sweet and understanding, he came over to her every night and put her to bed every time. Of course he couldn’t leave it to not try to make out with her as soon as he had, but Jenna just wasn’t up to that. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep or to be held. Carson never asked her what the matter was, he was afraid that if he did ask her she would tell him it was ‘that time of the month’ and that was something he did not want to know about yet.

On the last night of her stay, Carson came over to say goodbye to her. That night she’d had another nightmare and she was in bed with heavy headaches.

“Hey, sweetheart, do you have another headache again?”  
“Yes” she whispered.  
“I know I have not asked about it, but will you tell me what is wrong?”  
“You are just going to think it is silly”  
“Now, why would I do such a thing? I love you, my darling; you know you can tell me anything”

 _I want you to stop calling me ‘darling’ for a start, or even worse ‘my darling’. I know I could never tell you that and I love it that you have all these nicknames for me, but darling just gets on my nerves…_

“I have been having nightmares for the last few weeks and the last week I seem to be having a lot of them”  
“Nightmares?” He asked her surprised, thinking that it was going to be a lot worse. He could not understand that something like that could bother her so much.  
“What were they about, sweetheart? …. Monsters?”  
“No silly, if only they were that simple, at least then I could have gotten over them easier.”  
“Do you want to tell me about them, then?”

 _Just tell him, Jen. He deserves to know. Afterwards he can tell you that they are not true, that they were just bad dreams …_

“They have been about you…”  
“Me? Am I that scary?”  
“Please, don’t make fun of this. It’s hard enough already. At first the dreams started out as if we were making lov …”  
“Really? You dream about us having sex?” He said excitedly.  
“But at this certain point, the angles of my vision changes and then I see that it is not me you are with, but this other woman. Lately the dreams start with you even making me watch every time, or as if I am looking through a window spying on you doing it to this woman.”  
“Why would you dream this?” Carson said, desperately trying to hide his distress.  
“I wish I knew. I also wish I knew what they meant.”  
“What they meant? Honey, they were just nightmares. Nightmares don’t mean anything” Could he try to convince her that? He had to, if he wanted to save his affair with Allison. Hang on, had she been trying to tell him about it before? She had mentioned her name once….  
“What else do you remember of them?”  
“Everything, I even remember what kind of clothes you must have been wearing, before you took them off and threw them on the floor. Funnily enough, they were always the clothes you had worn that day. As if those dreams could have been continuations from after you left my house.”  
“So you actually think I am cheating on you? You actually believe that?” Carson was angry now, how could she think that he would actually cheat on her? Even if it was the truth, you should not think that of the person you are dating, you should trust them 100%!  
“No, Carson, of course I don’t think that. I trust you, I know you would never do that to me”  
“How many times have you had them this week?”   
“4 Times, why?”  
“I am just concerned, darling. When did you have them?”  
“Christmas Eve, 3 nights later I had 2 nights in a row and I had the last one last night.”

Carson realised that these nights had been the same nights he had visited Allison. Could she really have dreamt about them the same night he had sex with Allison every time? It had to be coincidence.

“Besides, I don’t even know anyone named Allison, so I know you are not cheating on me…. Carson? What’s wrong, you are awfully pale at the moment, are you alright?”  
“I-I’m fine, I’m just trying to work out what you have all told me. Honey, I am so sorry that you have to go through all this. Just like you said, no one named Allison lives around here, so you have nothing to worry about.”

He wasn’t _really_ lying; Allison lived in a small village a few miles from theirs. After that he didn’t really say anything else anymore, pretending to be quiet because of Jenna’s headache. In reality, his head was brainstorming about what to do next. He really had to be careful about Allison now. Both Joe and Stacey probably knew about her dreams, so they would probably keep a close eye on him, since they already did not trust him. Maybe he needed to stay away from Allison for a week or two, prove to everyone that those dreams meant nothing and that it had been a temporary thing. After a few weeks everyone would have forgotten about them and then he would be safe to visit Allison again.

~

“Hello, Mr. Mister, I am home again. I have missed you so much.” Jenna said to her cat as she picked him up. The cat however wasn’t too impressed with the return of his mistress, she had abandoned him for almost 10 days and now she thought she could come back and pretend nothing happened? As long as her hands would not leave his fur for at least two hours and she would feed him on time, unlike that weird lady that came in every day at ten at night. Did that woman not know that a cat needs his food on time?

“Did Mrs. Johnson take good care of you? Did she feed you on time? I bet you she did. I wish I had your life for a few days. Just sleep all day and in the evenings lay on someone’s lap while they pet you all evening and feed you when you need food. What a life that would be.” Jenna said, dreaming away, until the telephone rang.

“Hello, this is Jenna Taylor”  
“Can I come and pick my present up now?”

Catcher!

“What if I tell you I am not at home yet?”  
“Of course you are, you answered your telephone!”  
“But what if I TOLD you I wasn’t, I know I am home, but I could always tell you otherwise, right?”  
“I am coming up right now, first to pick up my present that I deserve and second to talk about what is wrong.”  
“Huh? What are you talking about?” She had been cheerful, how could he possibly have heard that anything was wrong with her?  
“Easy, your tone of voice is different. Just give me 2 minutes and I will be there.”  
“2 Minutes? But you live 20 minutes away from me.”  
“But the payphone down the street is only 2 minutes away from my present….”  
“You have got to be kidding, please tell me you are kidding.”  
“No, when it comes to presents I get dangerous, remember? I want mine now!”  
“I guess I don’t have a choice, now do I?”  
“Again no, just open the door already, so I don’t have to wait for that one too.”

“Where is it? Where is my present?”  
“It’s in the bedroom, I put it there as soon as I got off the phone.”  
“But why would you want to keep it there when I want it in here?”  
“Because that is where I thought it belongs. I also already put a picture of me and Carson in there.”  
“I wasn’t talking about the present I got you, I am talking about the present YOU got ME!”  
“You really are dangerous when it comes to gifts.”  
“Told you so, now give it to me.”  
“Alright, hold your horses. Thank you for your present by the way, I love it.”  
“I figured you would, you don’t have any pictures of the two of you here, so I thought I would come to the rescue.”  
“And now I do!”  
“I am glad you do. Just one thing; I am still waiting to see if my present is good too, what are you waiting for?”  
“I have to warn you though, it’s nowhere near as good as yours. You will probably think it’s stupid.”  
“Now why would I do something like that? Let’s see here…” he said as he unwrapped the present, ripping the wrapping paper to shreds. “Jen, this is beautiful. Where did you get this?”  
“Really? You really like it?”  
“Baby, of course I do. It’s beautiful, thank you.”

 _I love it when he calls me that. Why doesn’t Carson ever use a nickname like that? Then again, maybe it is the way he says it. Let’s be honest here, Carson just can’t pull off a ‘baby’. He even makes ‘honey’ sound like a drag. When Catcher says something like that, it makes a woman melt. It’s not really a wonder he is a womanizer, he really pulls it off perfectly. He really likes the present, I can’t believe it. He looks happier with this stupid tie than Carson did with that wallet._

 _He’s even putting in on… He looks so handsome with a tie, so … sexy. I know I reeaaaaallly shouldn’t be thinking this, but I can’t help it; it’s true. If I were one of his girlfriends I would make him make love to me wearing nothing but that tie._

“You look all flushed, are you alright?”

 _Shoot!_

“Y-Yes, I am fine. I-I’m glad you like it.”  
“So, now that I FINALLY have my present, let’s talk about whatever is bothering you right now.”  
“It’s nothing really.”  
“Yes it is, if that look in your eyes has something to do with it, it is something big. Please talk to me.”  
“But I have talked about it over and over this week and it still bothers me, so, the way I see it, talking doesn’t help.”  
“Is it those nightmares again? Have you had one again this week?”  
“3 even”  
“My goodness, no wonder you look like hell. How bad were they?”  
“On a scale from 1 to 10? About a 12, especially that first one.”  
“What happened this time? I mean, how did it happen this time?”  
“He made me watch this time, telling me that at least this woman would give to him what I wouldn’t. Maybe if I actually paid attention I would give up my resolve and realise that it was stupid to wait. He told me that it was my own fault that he had to seek it elsewhere.”  
“Oh my goodness, Jen. Come here. That must have been awful, but you do realise it is a dream right? It probably doesn’t mean anything, I promise. You told me yourself that he tells you he loves you all the time, so there should not be anything to worry about, right?”  
“Don’t pretend you like him all of a sudden, Catch. I know you don’t.”  
“But aren’t you the one who keeps telling me over and over that he would never cheat on you? That he really is a good man? I am trying to like him for you, even if I still have a hard time with it.”  
“Then why don’t you like him?”

What was he going to tell her now? He didn’t like him because he could clearly see that those dreams were not just a dream, that they were reality and that he would not be surprised if the girl in Jenna’s nightmares was really the girl Carson was seeing behind Jenna’s back? He cared for her too much to lose her and he knew Jenna was not ready to hear his theory, she would never believe him anyway. Until he would see proof, he would keep quiet and be there for Jenna whenever she needed him. But as soon as he did find proof, he would step up to her and make her see the real side of Carson.

“I have my reasons, Jen. I will tell you when the time is right.”  
“What on earth is that supposed to mean?”  
“That I cannot tell you why I don’t like him right now, but I promise you that as soon as that time comes, I will certainly tell you.”

Jenna was getting a little angry now. Her best and only friend in the city was holding a secret about her boyfriend and he would not tell her about it. What if the dreams were not dreams but in fact reality? She would want to know about it and if Catcher knew more, she would definitely want him to tell her about it. She would do the same to him.

“Nonsense” she said angrily. “If you know something that I don’t then I’d rather you told me instead of keeping it to yourself.”  
“But I don’t know anything, at least not for certain. I don’t want to worry you about something that might not even be true. Until I know for sure, I will not risk losing my friend over something that I cannot prove. I care for you too much, Jen, to jeopardise our friendship. I am sure it is nothing though.”  
“If it’s nothing, then you will not have any problems of telling me.”  
“See, I knew I never should have said anything. I am so sorry I opened my mouth again. I will not do it again. Please, love, don’t worry about this. Just pretend that I never said anything”  
“But you did say something and I want to know what you mean.”  
“What were the other dreams about? What happened in those?” Catcher tried to stir the conversation into a different direction. He knew that as soon as he would tell her what he was almost certain about, he would immediately be thrown out of the house and he would never see her again.   
“Don’t you dare try to change the subject, Catcher, it won’t work.”  
“Please, just trust me on this one. I really cannot talk about it, as much as it hurts me to say this to you. I know this must be difficult to hear but believe me that it is a thousand times worse to tell you this and see your face looking like that. You assume the worst at the moment, but please don’t do that.”  
“But if it is nothing, then there is no reason for you to hate Carson, so it has got to be something more than you are trying to make it sound.”  
“It doesn’t have to be.”  
“Then TELL ME!” Her temper was growing worse and worse. If he did not tell her about it soon enough, she would make him leave until he was ready to share what he was hiding.  
“Alright, I don’t like the way he treats you at times. You should be treated like a goddess, yet all I see is no more than … than royal treatment. Do you understand what I mean? I know that you should always try to stay on the right side of your mother-in-law, but he is overdoing it, as if he is trying to get to you through her.”  
“And?” Jenna knew that there was more. If this was it, he would not have to ‘find out’ anything.  
“And I feel like he is hiding something from you….”

There! He said it … sort of…

Jenna still didn’t know a thing, yet he told her exactly what he was planning not to tell her. Yet, he had not really told it to her after all. He had told her most of the other things that bothered him, yet he told her in a way that would not really hurt…. Hopefully.

“Hiding what?”  
“That exactly it; I don’t know. For all I know he is hiding something beautiful, but I just have this weird feeling like he is hiding something.”   
“Something beautiful? Such as?”   
“I don’t know, maybe a beautiful engagement ring?”   
“And that is why you don’t like him? Because he might be hiding an engagement ring?”   
“No, not that he might be hiding a ring, but the fact that he IS hiding something AND the other reasons I just told you. I am so sorry Jen. Please don’t hate me now.”   
“I don’t hate you, Catch. I’m just … disappointed I guess. I just wish you would all see what I see. Okay, so he isn’t always as attentive as I might have once dreamed of, but that does not make him a bad guy.”   
“I am sure he is not. Maybe I should just get to know him better. I have only spent one afternoon with him. I might be completely wrong about him.”  
“But then your prejudiced impression is still out here, won’t it? You will always have that in the back of your head.”   
“Of course I won’t. Why would I hold a wrong impression against him if I know he is not like that at all?

Listen, why don’t you invite me over when he comes over here and then I am sure I will find out I am wrong about him”

He knew he would not be, but then at least Jenna’s mind would be eased. He knew she would be worrying about _that_ on top of all those nightmares she’s been having. Catcher knew Carson was hiding something and he was about 100% certain that he also knew what, or who, he was hiding. But until he could prove it, Catcher had to keep that quiet.

“That might not be such a good idea, Carson does not really want to have anything to do with you. He still thinks you are a bad influence on me.”  
“Really? So I failed to make a good impression too? Is he still worried about my divorce? He still will not believe it wasn’t my fault?”   
“I guess not. I guess he just wants to protect me or something”  
“Then maybe it might be a good thing if we DID come together for a night out once. Then he will see that I am really not a bad guy”  
“I could try….”  
“Come here, love” Catcher said and took Jenna into his arms for a warm hug. Not only could he see that Jenna really needed one, but he did too. He knew that it frustrated Jenna that Catcher was right about a few things about Carson. It also clearly frustrated her that it was apparently obvious to others too.

They sat there on the couch for a long time, not saying anything, just holding each other. Catcher realised he had used endearing nicknames for Jenna all evening. He has probably done it a lot before, but he never really noticed that he did it. For some strange reason he could recall every time he had called her ‘love’ or ‘baby’ tonight. He could also clearly remember the way she had looked when he had done so. Her eyes would start to shine bright and she had even once blushed. Had she always done that? Why was he thinking of that now? Why did he suddenly have this urge to hold her all night?

“So, are you ready to talk about the other nightmares yet?” He asked Jenna after a while, yet still not letting go of her.  
“What’s there to tell? They are basically all the same, yet the scenario and her hair changes all the time. It is just so exhausting.”

They talked until early in the morning about her dreams, about how Carson responded to it and about what to do about them. She couldn’t really do anything about it, how could you possibly control a nightmare? She promised Catcher that as soon as she had another one, she would call him immediately. Catcher did not care that it would be in the middle of the night, he just wanted to be there for his friend when she needed him.

When Catcher finally left, he gave her another hug and another quick kiss on her lips, leaving Jenna more frustrated then before he came over.


	22. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 19**

Another sleepless night followed. Well … not an entire night, since Catcher did not leave until 3 AM. This time Jenna wasn’t plagued with another nightmare about Carson cheating on her, but this time that kiss haunted her again. It was the second time he had kissed her and again it was just an innocent kiss. Nothing more, nothing less.

Truth was she had liked it. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, but she had. She liked the interaction between herself and Catcher as friends, telling herself once again that it was only friendship between them now. Maybe she should just get over it and kiss him like that every time he left. Maybe she would not feel so awkward if he ever did it again.

She had felt that bolt of lightning strike through her body again. Along with the goose bumps and that weird tingling feeling near her bladder. She blamed it on some leftover feelings that she just had to get over. If she would kiss him every time he left, like she had already decided to do, then she was certain she would get over that too.

But, did she want to get over that?

At 6 AM she finally fell asleep. And she was blessed with another bad dream. If only this had been one where Carson cheated on her again, but no; Catcher had made love to her again. He had been so gentle and loving and he had even made her enjoy it too. When she woke up, her breathing had even been uneven and her underwear had been soaking wet. Was that normal?

As tired as she was, she was happy to go back to work again. Maybe work would take her mind off of Carson or Catcher, especially Catcher. Unfortunately Ms. Brown did not really give her that chance. She had called Jenna into her office to ask about Catcher and how he was doing. Was he still down about the divorce? Had he gone to his brother so he would not have to go through it alone? Had she stayed with him? Had he spent Christmas with someone or had he been alone? Was he already seeing anyone? Was he mad at her? How long had he been mad at her? Jenna tried to answer them all as best as she could, which wasn’t easy being as tired as she was. She had told her about that weekend, that Jenna had indeed stayed with him so he would feel alone, that he had not spent Christmas at home but at his brother’s and that she did not know if he was seeing anyone. She felt that was true. She did not know if he was seeing one of his flings right now.

All day her colleagues wanted to know why she looked so tired, was she alright? No boy trouble? How had her holiday been? Wasn’t it fantastic to spend so much time with Carson finally? Had they talked about marriage? Moving in together? At the end of the day, Jenna was even more exhausted and on top of that her head was exploding from headache.

Jenna had hoped to be able to go to bed as soon as she got home, but as soon as she opened the door her telephone rang with her mother on the other line.

“Hello darling, I just wanted to know if you got home safe yesterday. You never telephoned me yesterday and I was really worried. But apparently you made it home safe and felt it not necessary to telephone your mother…”   
“Mum, please stop that. I am sorry I forgot to phone you yesterday, but I actually had visitors almost as soon as I entered my house. And I thought it rude to phone you while I had people visiting me. They did not leave until late and I did not want to worry you by telephoning you at such an hour.”

Jenna really wasn’t feeling like talking to her mother right now, especially when she acted like this.

“Next time just please phone me, I am sure that your visitors will not mind a quick phone call to a worrying mother.”   
“Fine mom, next time I will”

 _I have never telephoned her to tell her I got home safe. Why would I all of a sudden do that now? I guess I will have to do that from now on. If only to make sure I will not get these phone calls on days like these anymore. I am just happy she did not ask me who my visitors were._

3 Minutes later, when Jenna was feeding Mr. Mister, the telephone rang again. This time it was Carson, with the same message. She really was not up to this tonight. She told him that she was really sorry and that she promised she would also telephone him next time. When she told Carson that she was very tired because she hardly slept last night, Carson was quiet for a few seconds and then he asked her if she had one of those nightmares again.

“No, but I never gave them a chance, I just could not sleep. I don’t know why. Probably because I was scared about having another nightmare again. If this keeps up, I might be going to see my doctor soon.”   
“Just go to bed sweetheart, try to get some rest. I am sure that it was just a temporary thing.”

Carson hung up soon after, even though Jenna really felt like talking to someone now. Carson never had been a talker, one of the things she really missed in him. She loved talking to someone for hours, just like she had done with Catcher last night.

No, she would not phone Catcher, just to talk to someone. She would go to bed and get some rest. She needed to, if she did not, she would be ill before the end of the week. After a quick sandwich, she changed into her nightshirt and lay her head down on her pillow. She was almost asleep when the telephone rang again.

 _You have got to be joking me. Why can’t everyone just leave me be and let me sleep?_

 _I will just let it ring, they will probably figure I am not at home and leave me be. If it is really important, they will ring me back._

Jenna thought the telephone would never stop ringing. After about 20 rings it finally stopped, but only to start ringing again 5 minutes later.

 _Just answer the darn thin, Jen. They will never leave you alone if you don’t answer. As soon as you hang up, you can always leave the horn off the hook._

“This is Jenna Taylor” Jenna answered in her crankiest voice. Hoping that the caller understood that she was not feeling like talking to anyone.  
“Oh dear, what is wrong? You want me to come over?” Catcher!  
“Hi Catch!” She said a bit more cheery. “Sorry about that. I am just so tired and I am trying to get some sleep but the telephone has been ringing off the hook ever since I got home”  
“I will not bother you then. I just wanted to know how you were doing, if you were feeling a bit better yet. Apparently not yet. Get back to bed, love, I will phone again tomorrow”   
“I’m already in bed, I have a telephone by my bed too, I got one just before Christmas. I now have 2 telephones in my house, can you believe it?”  
“That’s right, you told me that just before you left for your parent’s.

Jen?”  
“Yes?”  
“You feel like talking to someone, don’t you?”  
“how could you tell this time? Didn’t I just tell you that I was tired and wanted to go to sleep?”  
“Yes, you did. But I can also hear in your voice that even though you would really like to get some sleep, you also want to chat for a bit. So, what happened at work today? Did they at least leave you alone a bit?”  
“I wish. They kept asking me questions about my holiday, about Carson, the usual. Ms. Brown asked me in her office to ask about you.”  
“Really? Why? What did she want to know?”  
“Just how you were doing, wanting to make sure you were doing fine.”

After about 20 minutes, Jenna was so tired, she could not even remember if she had answered a question or if he was still waiting for an answer.

“Jen, get some sleep now. I will talk to you tomorrow.”  
“Thanks Catch. I will phone you tomorrow”  
“’Night, love”

~

“Mum, dad! I can’t believe you are really here. Finally.”  
“Hello dear. I forgot how high up you lived. Thank goodness for these lifts.”

Jenna’s parents finally made it for a visit for a few days. Jenna had really been excited about it. Finally she would show them how wonderful life in the city was. That they had nothing to worry about and that life here was safe.

“You have really decorated it lovely, dear. A real cosy little home away from home.” Yep, that was her mother alright.  
“I thought you said it was a lot bigger?” Aaaand of course, her father had to comment too.  
“Coffee?” Jenna asked, ignoring the comments from her parents.

 _STRONG coffee, very, very strong coffee for me. They have not even been here for five minutes and already they are getting on my nerves. How on earth am I going to get through five more days with them? I have not even told them yet that I could not get off work Friday, or that Catcher asked if he could come over Saturday._

Ever since that evening 3 weeks ago when Catcher had telephoned her and they had chatted for a while, they had done so every evening just before Jenna went to sleep. Well … almost every night; if Catcher had a date, he didn’t ring her. They just chatted, telling the other what they had done that day or what they were planning on doing the next day. They even rang each other when they had seen each other that day. They could not really explain why they did this, they just enjoyed it. Just like that little kiss whenever they parted.

Jenna still felt excited every time they ‘pecked’. They even called it that, they couldn’t call it a kiss, that’s why they came up with that. Catcher even once said ‘Peck me, woman. I am going home’. It took her 10 minutes before she could stand up straight again and look at him without laughing.

Her nightmare had not returned. Though her dreams where Catcher made love to her or held her hand as she gave birth to their child dominated her nights. Only every few nights did she have a normal night’s rest without Catcher or Carson interfering her sleep. It just worried her that every night she dreamed of Catcher, she would wake up with a racing heart and wet underwear. What did that mean? She could not ask Stacey, because then she would also have to explain what she had dreamt of. She knew it had to do with her Catcher-dreams, but what?

“So, what did you have planned this week? What did you want to show us?”   
“Well, I thought a trip to Lady Liberty and Ellis Island might be fun. Of course I cannot let you leave without a trip to the shops. Mum, you will love it. A day at central park is also not to be missed….. and … you also have a day to yourselves, because I could not get off work Friday.”

Her parents did not answer; they just looked at each other and gave each other a knowing look. As if they had expected that their daughter would ‘disappoint’ them.

“I thought I would take you out for a nice meal tonight…”  
“Why dear, didn’t you have enough time to go grocery shopping?”  
“Of course I’ve had time for that. I just thought it’d be nice to take you out tonight. Celebrate your first time in the city and your first visit in my home.”  
“I suppose it is a very modern thing to do, but I would also really enjoy a home cooked meal, dear. If you show me around the kitchen, I will start preparing.”  
“Mum, no. I would really _like_ to take you out. But if you would rather stay in, then _I_ will cook. You are my guests and you are on vacation. That means that you will not cook as long as you are here.”   
“Nonsense, dear. Now where do you keep your potatoes? Do you have fresh vegetables or that frozen stuff I have seen on the television once?”  
“MUM, sit down. I will make dinner. Just relax for a while, you have had a long trip. Dad, if you would like to rest for a while. My bedroom is down the hall. I will sleep on the couch this week, so you can have my bedroom. I will also unplug the telephone, so that will not bother you.”   
“A telephone in the bedroom? Why would you want to have one there, dear?”

 _The ‘dear’s’ are really getting on my nerves. Will she ever stop that? Has she always done so when I still lived at home?_

“Sometimes the phone rings when I am getting ready for bed, so I thought it would be easier to have one in there too.”  
“Who would telephone you at a time you are getting ready for bed?”  
“You have done so a few times. Stacey does so too at times, even Carson does it. I don’t mind though. Then I do not have to get up and answer the telephone and afterwards get back into the cold bed again. This way, my bed will not get cold and I do not have to get out of bed.”  
“Oh… Okay” was all her mother could say.  
“And when will you buy a television set? Or are you going to buy two of those as well? Put one in the bedroom too?”  
“No, dad. I don’t know when I will buy one. I still do not miss it yet. You only bought yours after I moved out, so I don’t really know what that is like. I heard that they are working on colour television, so maybe I will wait for one of those.”   
“Colour? Really? I doubt that.”

Finally, at about 10 PM, her parents went to bed. She thought they never would go. They had been hinting that life ‘back home’ was better and how much everyone missed her and that they had enjoyed her holiday back home so much. ‘Like old times’ they kept telling her.

“This is Catcher Block”  
“FINALLY, please say something nice. Don’t say anything about how wonderful life in the country is or that my apartment is small”  
“I love what you are wearing, life in the country is no good and your apartment is huge. Is that okay?”   
“Perfect, thanks. I really needed that.”  
“That bad?”  
“Worse. All evening they complained about what they had seen when they drove up here; people kissing in the street, flooded with homeless people, too many cars. You know; the usual.”   
“So they saw a man kissing his wife on the cheek when he met up with her to go out to dinner, they saw ONE homeless man and they arrived during traffic hours.”  
“Of course. They just like to exaggerate a bit … a lot. After that, they would not go out to dinner with me, saying that even though it might be a ‘modern thing to do here’, they would be perfectly happy to stay in and have a home cooked meal. I had to tell my mother to sit down and let _me_ make dinner. She even had the nerve to ask me if I bought fresh veggies or if I bought ‘that frozen stuff’. After that fiasco, they complained about my second telephone, about me not having a television set, about Mr. Mister smelling weird, about the size of my apartment again … and again. They just would not stop. I was so happy when they said they were going to bed. At least they finally gave me a chance to do to you what they have been doing to me all evening; complain …”   
“Have you told them that you could not get off work Friday yet?”  
“Oh, yes”  
“How long have they complained about that?”  
“That was even worse; they only nodded towards each other without saying a word. As if they knew I would not be there for them the entire week. As if I am abandoning them on a deserted island with 50 sharks swimming nearby.”  
“Oh dear”  
“Please, please, please, do not use that word around me EVER again.”  
“What word? Dear?” He said with a smirk in his voice.  
“THAT one. My goodness, I have tried to count how many times my mother called me that during dinner and I stopped counting after 12 times, that was even BEFORE dessert.

Catch?”  
“Yes, dear” He couldn’t control his laughter, especially after he heard her growl.  
“Thanks for listening again. I really needed to get this off my chest.”  
“’Night, love”

The days that followed were equally awful. Her parents could only complain about the dangers they kept seeing, how crowded the city was, expensive, nothing special. ‘Most of the things you find here, we can buy a lot cheaper at home, dear’. After she got home from work that Friday, Jenna found her parents in her flat with the door locked, because they thought they had heard someone at the door.

That Saturday morning, Jenna took her mother to the grocery store, when they ran into Catcher. Catcher noticed Jenna’s mother paying careful attention to him, so he made sure that the kiss he did give her, was so far away from her mouth that he almost kissed her ear. He did not do that, just to get on her mother’s nerves, but only as a comfort to Jenna. She needed to know that he was there for her and this had been the only thing he could think of. Her mother on the other hand took it all wrong and her eyes almost popped out of her head when she witnessed that small display. She could not believe that her daughter kissed a man other than her soon to be fiancé. Not only that, but it was a _divorced man_ and they had kissed _on the street!_ Everyone was able to see this happening!

“I am terribly sorry, Mr. Block, but we really have to get going. Come on, Jen. We have to hurry.”

 _My goodness, what is wrong now? Because I gave him a kiss? Oh no, she must assume I am cheating on Carson now. I kissed_ divorced man _on the_ street _for everyone to see. How on earth am I going to explain to her now that it meant nothing? She is never going to believe me. She will never believe why he did this either. That he only kissed my cheek to comfort me, as a friend._

Her mother turned around before they made it to the grocery store.

“Come on, dear, your father is waiting for us. He is probably wondering where we are.”  
“Mum, the grocery store is that way.”  
“I would rather go back to your father, dear.”  
“No mum, we are going to the grocery store and we are going to talk about what I know is bothering you”  
“Really dear, do you really know what is bothering me?”  
“Yes mum, I know what is bothering you. It bothers you that I kissed a man on the cheeks, in broad daylight for the whole world to see. I kissed a _divorced_ man, a man who I am not dating. That is what is bothering you. You are now afraid that I am cheating on Carson, that I will leave him and shack up with this divorced man and do all these weird ‘beatnik’ things. Listen to me mum, he is still only a friend, a friend who I will never abandon. He helps me when I need it, he talks to me when I need someone to talk to and Carson is not around. He really is a gentleman, you even said so yourself.”  
“Jenna, keep it down”  
“No mum, I will not. I do not care if someone hears me. You know why? Because if other people can hear, that must mean that YOU can hear what I am saying too. You are the one I want to hear all of this. I am not leaving Carson mum, he is my boyfriend. He will probably soon be my fiancé too. We will get married one day. I did not kiss Catcher because I wanted to provoke you; I kissed him because I ran into him. That is what people do around here. Friends give each other friendly kisses on their cheeks. I even do that with Stacey. It is nothing weird, it is not a ‘city-thing to do’. It is two friends saying hello to one and other. Just because you do not like it, doesn’t mean I have to change that. But what bothers you most still is the fact that I am still seeing that divorced man and you hate that. You still think that that is bad for your reputation or mine, well guess what; I do not care if it is bad, he is a friend!”  
“You will never change that, will you? No matter what I say, you will always keep seeing him; you will never stop being his friend?”  
“That’s right. But it is not a bad thing, mum. If only you would give my friend a chance, you would realise he really is a good man.”  
“I-I know that. It’s just … he is divorced and where I come from and how I was raised, it is not right. I know I probably am old-fashioned but …”  
“Yes, you are mum”  
“But that is just who I am. Maybe I just need to get used to it. Maybe in time I will understand that it is okay”  
“What I want you to understand most of all, mum, is that he did not choose to get divorced. He was forced to. He could have fought harder, but he knew that in the end he would lose the battle anyway. He had already lost this battle before he had even met his ex-wife. She had already fought that battle without realising she was fighting one. Listen mum, there is a nice coffee place at the end of this street, why don’t we sit down and have a cup of coffee? That way we can talk without people paying too much attention to us.”

Her mother was quiet for a little while, but her face clearly showed a decision all of a sudden.

“I would like that very much”

After two hours, they finally made it to the grocery store. They had talked about so much, mostly about Catcher and how her mother really needn’t worry that he would do something awful to her little girl. Jenna had reassured her mother once more that she would not leave Carson and that she and Carson had even talked about marriage. Pride and confidence in her daughter grew every minute Maggie listened to her. Maybe this would finally be the turning point Jenna was hoping for, maybe her mother would finally realise that Jenna was not a little girl anymore and that she was not going to move away from New York ever.

That evening Jenna made another miracle work; she managed to take her parents out for dinner. She took them to a lovely little restaurant that served traditional home cooked meals. She had thought about going to a posh restaurant, but she just knew her parents would not feel comfortable there. She told her parents that she had been here a few times before with her colleagues. She hadn’t the heart to tell them that she actually had been here with Catcher.

That evening Jenna had the shorted telephone conversation with Catcher ever:

“Hey Catch, it’s me”  
“Hey, you are still alive?”  
“Of course I am. I had a wonderful day with my parents after I ran into you, but I will tell you all about it after they leave, for now I just wanted to say goodnight”

And Catcher understood.

“Night love”


	23. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 20**

That next weekend Jenna visited her parents again and things seemed to go well since Jenna had that long talk with her mother. Not everything had changed, her mother still saw her as her little girl and she tried to avoid conversations that might include Catcher. On top of that, her mother was now more eager than ever to see her daughter get married to Carson. How wonderful it would be when they would move into their own place and one day have children of their own. For the first time since Jenna moved out her mother did not mention where that ‘own place’ would be, usually she would mention a few houses not too far away from her parent’s. But she did not do that this time, maybe it finally dawned upon her that Jenna would not be coming back.

Carson seemed nervous the entire weekend, well Saturday only, she did not see him at all on Sunday. He told her he could not make it on Sunday, because of other ‘arrangements’.

“But you knew I was coming, right? I thought you wanted to spend time with me too, we only see each other on weekends.”  
“If you lived here, you would be able to see me every day, darling. Plus, I can’t always arrange to meet friends during the week, just because of you.”  
“Excuse me? It’s my fault that you only have 5 days a week to see your friends? I only get to see most of my friends 2 days per 2 weeks, Carson.”   
“Then do something about that, move back here.”  
“I am not having this conversation with you again, Carson.”

Carson sighed, but then turned to Jenna again.

“I’m sorry, darling. I should not have said that. Please forgive me. Why don’t we go for a ride, so we can be alone?”  
“Alright” Jenna answered a bit surprised at his sudden change of tone. She figured that they would probably not talk so much, but they _would_ be using their mouths a lot.

She was right. As soon as Carson found a secluded spot, he attacked her neck with a rage of passion she had never seen in him before. She knew he could be rough and wild, but this was new to her. Carson pulled her close to him and tried to lay her down. Jenna hardly had a choice, but to do exactly that. As she lay down underneath Carson on the small front seat, Carson tried to open her coat and lift up her sweater.

“Carson?” She said, trying to get him to slow down a bit. Unfortunately Carson misunderstood;  
“Yes, it is small here, isn’t it? Climb over here darling, we’ll have more space in the backseat.”

Before Jenna could even respond, Carson climbed over the front to the back seat and pulled her over too.

“Carson, slow down. What are you in such a hurry for?”  
“I’m sorry darling, I have just missed you so much, I have missed kissing you and touching you. I will try to slow down, darling.”

 _How come that ‘darling’ still makes me sound like an 80-year old?_

It did not take long before they were back into their former positions and making out. That’s all Jenna could call it; ‘making out’ because that was what it felt like to her. She still did not feel real passion or like they were showing each other what they really felt for each other. She felt that Carson was just trying to fulfil a need instead of showing her cared for her. Jenna knew it probably wasn’t easy for him, that he had waited for her for so long yet she still made him wait. She also knew he knew what he was waiting for, she knew he had been with other girls before and they _had_ given him what she still hadn’t.

When they had both gotten rid of their coats, Carson was very keen on getting his hands underneath her sweater again. His hands were so cold that Jenna pushed them away, making Carson think it was only because they were so cold.

“Your hands are freezing.”  
“Then how about I will keep them on top of your sweater then?”

 _‘On top’? On top of what I wonder._

Yep, on top of her breasts, where else? After a while Jenna felt her legs being pushed apart and a leg pushed between them. Again she felt a very prominent erection rubbing against her leg. Carson softly started moving on top of her, rubbing himself against her leg. He tried to lift one of Jenna’s legs up higher so his access would be better. When Jenna tried to lower it again, she felt that Carson was holding her leg so it would not move.

“Darling, put your other leg around my waist too.”

To her own surprise she actually did what he asked her to do. She realised too late why he asked her to do so and all of a sudden she felt that same erection that had been poking her leg rubbing somewhere else. His movements had also changed; he was more direct and more thrusting instead of rubbing.

“Carson, please stop.”  
“Please … darling, just a few … more min…. minutes”

More like seconds. Just after Carson asked her for a little more time, she noticed him collapsing on top of her, breathing heavily, his body going limp.

“Carson? Carson, what happened?”

He did not answer though, he only kissed her fiercely and then he got up and out of the car. Before he managed to get out of the car, Jenna noticed a wet spot near his crotch and then it dawned on her what _had_ happened.

 _Was that it? I mean, does it only take that long? 2 or 3 minutes, it could not have been longer. I thought Catcher once said that he and his girlfriends took all evening. What would they be doing if it takes them all evening and Carson only needs 2 or 3 minutes?_

~

When Jenna talked to Stacey the next day, she told her the story and Stacey had a hard time controlling her laughter. She knew she should not start laughing out loud when her friend needed her help and was unknown to what had exactly happened in that car the day before.

“I am proud of you, Jenna. You really are moving up with him. So? What did you think of it then?”  
“Of what? What he did? It hurt, or is that normal?”  
“What do you mean, it hurt? I thought you said he just dry-humped you?”  
“Oh my goodness, what did you call that? That sounds … icky”  
“Icky?”  
“I couldn’t think of a different word”  
“But what did you mean when you said it hurt? It should not hurt, Jen. In fact … it should do entirely different things to you.”  
“His … thing … kept poking me just to the left of my … crotch, you know where I mean?”  
“You mean he ‘poked’ you left of centre? Ooooh that does hurt. Why didn’t you tell him that?”  
“Because I had no idea what he was trying to do until he suddenly collapsed on top of me and then quickly made his way out of the car to clean himself up”  
“Hang on, I think I missed something here, what do you mean you didn’t know what he was doing?”  
“Well, he asked me to put my legs around his waist and I thought that couldn’t hurt. I was wearing jeans and we all know how hard they can be to take off, so I figured I was safe. As soon as I put my leg around him, he started … humping me, after a few seconds he stopped kissing me and just concentrated on what he was doing downstairs. In the meantime I was in pain and when I tried to tell him that, he asked for a few more minutes. Well those minutes turned out to be only seconds.”  
“Seconds? Ouch”  
“No, minutes were ouch, seconds were only bliss”  
“Honey, you say that now, but wait until he does it right once and you will wish for minutes instead of seconds.”  
“Since when are you such an expert? Oh god, please don’t share any stories if you will mention my brother’s name. I am dying to know about what you have been up to, but could you make up some other guy? The thought of listening to stories about my brother making out with you are just too disgusting.”  
“Alright, I will try, but I want to talk about you first. What happened after he finished? At least tell me you cuddled for a little while.”  
“No. He got up and out of the car to clean up and then we left. I also kind of hoped for a little bit of cuddling, but then I was afraid that he would start poking me again, so I just left it at that.”  
“Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. This should have been so much better. I know I told you I was going to wait, but that waiting is growing harder and harder every day.”   
“Really? So you really have not done it yet?”  
“Not yet!”

Jenna could not believe she was actually listening to stories that involved her brother. She also could not help feeling a little jealous that apparently Stacey was enjoying her so-called sex-life. Apparently Joey had also done with Stacey what Carson tried with Jenna yesterday and Stacey had really enjoyed it. So much that she blushed when she mentioned it.

 _Maybe he had just been nervous, we had never gone this far before. I can’t judge him before we have tried that a few more times. But not within the next 2 or 3 weeks hopefully. Would Catcher understand if I wanted to talk about this to him? Or would he only start laughing? Maybe he would even be disgusted; this is not exactly a subject people talk about during lunch…_

During her drive home she thought about it more, he really had tried to get her to do things she was not ready for and when he found that out he tried something different. Whether he decided to do so, so she would slowly ease into this kind of intimacy or just so he would ‘get some’, she didn’t know. She hoped for the first one.

When she got home she had such a headache that she quickly telephoned her family to tell them she was home and after that a quick phone call to Catcher, but all she managed was telling him how tired she was and that she had a headache.

That night Jenna was plagued with the first nightmare in months where Carson cheated on her again. When she finally was able to wake up from it she was crying. She just did not understand why this kept happening to her. She thought she would not have them anymore after not having had them for a month. That’s when she remembered her promise to Catcher, but how could she phone him at 3 in the morning? She would just wait until a decent hour and then phone him. At least he would get some sleep.

But when it finally turned to a ‘decent hour’ Jenna felt silly to phone him now. So she decided to wait yet again, she would tell him when she phoned him that evening. When that moment finally came she had expected that Catcher would react understanding and talk her through it again, but Catcher decided not to, not at first anyway.

“Jen, I thought you promised me to phone me as soon as you had had one.”  
“But it was 3 AM, Catch. I just couldn’t do that to you. At first I was going to ring you first thing in the morning, but I just felt silly when that time came round.”  
“That doesn’t matter, you knew that you could ring me anytime whether it was a decent hour or not.”  
“So, you are actually disappointed because I would not ring you with MY problem?”  
“No, I am disappointed because again you just assumed that this problem was not big enough to talk about it, yet I know that you hardly if at all slept last night. You should not assume that I mind losing a bit of sleep, or assume that these nightmares are nothing. If you can’t sleep at all after you wake up crying because of what happened during that dream, than you have every right to ring me. At least then you can get it off your chest. I bet you that if you would have telephoned me at 3 AM you would have been asleep again at 4, because you got to talk about it. I also would have been back to sleep by that time.”  
“I just could not do it, I’m sorry”  
“Do you want me to phone you every night at 3, just to make sure you are not hiding a nightmare again? I will, Jen.”  
“Don’t be silly, I just hoped that I would not have them anymore. It has been a month, you know?”  
“Please, just do me a favour and ring me next time.”  
“I’ll try…..”  
“’Night love”  
“’Night Catch”

~

The 2 weeks that followed Jenna actually did make a phone call to Catcher at 3 or 4 AM because of nightmares. They had returned full force and her tired face was proof of it. The first nightmare she really had she even neglected to tell Catcher about at all, but when 2 days later she woke up crying again, she knew she could not keep that one from him. Catcher had been right. She had fallen back to sleep again within an hour after she had rung him.

Valentine weekend came up that weekend and Carson was going to stay with Jenna that weekend. Jenna made Carson promise not to try and sneak into her bed at night and that he would stay on the couch no matter what. Carson kept to his promise, though of course during the day he tried making out with her just about every second. They ended up on the couch more than she ever thought possible. Even preparing a meal became a hard task to finish.

Jenna never did let him go any further than what they had done in the car. Jenna still could not enjoy it the way Stacey had told her she would. Every time Carson ended it the same way; giving Jenna a quick kiss and leave to clean up again. On Sunday afternoon, just before they were supposed to leave for their Valentine’s dinner and right after Carson was ready to get up and clean up again, Jenna asked him why he couldn’t just stay with her for a while longer and just cuddle a bit.

“Darling, I would love to, but I don’t want to make a mess everywhere. This stuff is sticky, you know?”  
“But I’m only asking you to hold me a little longer instead of getting up immediately. You know that this is all new to me and I am still getting used to this.”  
“I’ll try to remember the next time, but again; this stuff is sticky and smelly and I’d rather get it off me straight away and then come back to hold you.”  
“Then hold me now.”  
“But I thought you wanted to get ready for our big night out. I might have a present for you later…”

And that was it. Again Carson did not hold her like she had asked him to do. Instead he got up himself and changed into something different for their dinner. All Jenna could do was follow his example and change into that new dress she had bought a few days before. For some strange reason she had this urge to buy something special for tonight. Well … not completely a strange reason. She actually expected tonight to be the night that Carson would propose. Even though he never asked her if she was ready for it now, nor had she given him any signals that she wanted to move on to the next step. She wasn’t sure what she would answer him if he was to ask her tonight. She would just leave it up to fate; if her mouth would decide to say yes, than yes it would be. If he would chose no, than _that_ would be her answer.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jenna noticed Carson turning nervous again. He was fidgeting with his tie and he kept scratching his nose until it turned red. When they ordered their main course Jenna asked him if something was wrong and Carson told her that everything was fine, just fine. After that Carson did not say a word for another twenty minutes. Jenna tried to get him to talk, to relax and open up a bit, but with every minute it got worse. In the end Jenna stopped trying to get a conversation with him started so she just told him stories about her work, her cat, how she was still thinking about buying a television set, even decorating her bedroom. She tried anything to calm him a bit, but nothing seemed to work.

When their dessert was being served Carson got even worse and Jenna asked him again if he really was okay.

“I-I’m fine darling, really I am fine”  
“But you have hardly spoken a word since we arrived here. Are you sure you are okay? If you want to talk about it, we can, you know?”  
“I-I know, darling…..

….

…. The-there is something I have been wanting to talk to you about for a long time now and I think now is the time to do just that.”  
“What is that?”  
“Just give me a few seconds”  
“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere”  
“Here it goes; Jenna, we have been going for almost a year now and that time has been the best of my life so far. I think we are ready to move on to the next level of our relationship and I wanted to ask you if …. If …”

At this point Carson started sweating heavily and he drank his glass of wine in one go. Whatever it was he was wondering, he had a hard time telling Jenna about it.

“Carson, what were you wondering?” Jenna said with a loving voice. She already knew what was coming and she saw that Carson had the hardest time getting there.  
“Jenna, you know how much I love you and you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, darling, will you …. Willyoumarryme?”

Even though Jenna had expected this question all evening, she was still shocked to hear him actually ask her. Now it was up to her to continue this conversation and actually answer his question. But … she still didn’t know what to answer him. Even her mouth had not decided upon an answer and kept awfully quiet.

“Jenna?”  
“Wow, I had not expected this.”

 _What? A girl can’t lie?_

“I … I don’t know what to say. I mean, I knew you wanted to marry me and we have talked about this in the past, but I never expected to hear you ask these words so soon.”

That was true, she really hadn’t until today. She just figured that by next Christmas, maybe their one year anniversary, but not this soon.

“I thought you would say this. And that is okay, really. This isn’t something you should just agree to, not that we would ever regret it. I have just seen a change in you the last few weeks, especially ever since that one time in my car 2 weeks ago. You seem to have opened up and I thought that maybe you might have changed your mind by now and you would finally be ready to become my wife. I love you so much, darling and nothing would make me happier than see a wedding ring around your finger.”

 _You could have maybe seen an_ engagement ring _around my finger already, if you had bought one._

“I would love to say yes to you, but the truth is I still need some time to think about it. Please don’t be mad at me. I promise you I will give you an answer very soon. We also still have a lot to talk about before I can even give you one. For starters; where would we live once we get married? What about yours or my job? Can we afford a wedding? I don’t even know if my parents have saved for a wedding. What kind of wedding do we want?”  
“Wow, you really do have quite a few questions ready.”  
“I know, these are just questions that I have been thinking about for a while now and I told myself that until I can answer all of them I would not be ready for a marriage yet. But if you can help me answer them, then I will be able to answer YOUR question a whole lot sooner.”  
“I was actually still secretly hoping that you would move into that lovely house I told you about a few months ago. Another house has gone on sale recently and I think you would love that one even more.”  
“But Carson, you know I really do not want to move back there. I have a life here and a job that I love. I just don’t want to give that up.”  
“Maybe we can work something out. You don’t have to give up your job immediately. You could also maybe find a job back home. It would really mean so much to me if you would at least consider it. I really know how important your job is to you, but maybe you could find a similar job? Who knows, maybe an even better one.”  
“I find that hard to believe. The job might be similar or the same, but the pay would not be.”  
“Would you like me to find that out?”  
“You could ask around, but I am not making promises. You know how much I love my apartment and my job and my life in the city.”  
“Darling, if I would have a different choice you know I would move in your apartment with you. You also know that I have commitments to my father and the store. I really have no other choice other than follow in his footsteps.”  
“Like I said, I will need to think about it. I moved away because I did not like living there. I thought the town was far too small for me. I need space and I will certainly not find that there. If and I repeat IF I would decide to move back as you have asked me, what would you expect of me then? Would you expect me to carry your children immediately?”  
“Of course I would not” Carson answered a little too quickly. “Sweetheart, I know how important a career is for you, why on earth would I ask you to throw that away? But I do have to say that eventually I do want to have children.”  
“Do you expect me to stop working then?”  
“If possible; yes. But if you would really rather keep your job, then I am sure we could work something out. But we don’t have to worry about that until that time comes.”  
“Do you really want to have 6 or 7 children?”  
“I have never lied to you about wanting a large family. That would be my ultimate dream; to have a large family like yours.”

Jenna fired question after question and Carson answered them all as if he had been memorising answers before Jenna ever asked them. As if he had a script with all the questions he was sure Jenna would ask him. In the end Jenna told him she still needed some time to think about it. If she was to accept his proposal, she would have to go through a lot of changes and she just wanted to make sure she would never regret any of them. She knew she would marry him someday anyway, but right now, she just needed some extra time.

When they got back to her apartment, Carson still wanted to make out a little bit and Jenna didn’t really want to deny him of that too. She could not do that to him twice in one evening. Maybe it would help her make a decision sooner too. She also knew by now that he would not need longer than 15 minutes from the first kiss until his release, so she would not be in bed too late. She could even still try to ring Catcher afterwards. She needed to talk to someone about tonight and Stacey would not answer her telephone at this hour. Besides, she would probably still be out by now. She and Joey were also going out that night.

“Catcher?” Jenna whispered before Catcher could even announce himself.  
“Jenna?”  
“Yes, it’s me. Can we talk?”  
“Yes, I wasn’t out with anyone tonight. Why are we whispering? Why are your ringing me anyway? Shouldn’t you be out with Carson?”  
“First of all; I am whispering because I don’t want Carson to hear me talk to someone while I am already in bed. Second; how come you are not on a date tonight? It’s Valentines Day. Third; we have just gotten home from our date and I really needed to talk to someone about tonight”  
“What happened? Did he hurt you?”  
“Of course he did not hurt me. Actually something wonderful happened: he proposed to me tonight”

The other line went quiet for what felt like hours

“Catcher, are you still there?”  
“Yes, I am still here. Congratulations, I am so happy for you. When is the big day?”

Was that actually hurt in his voice?

“That is the thing; I have not given him my answer yet. I just have so much to think about before I can give him my answer.”  
“But why aren’t you talking to Carson right now. He might have all the answers, you know?”  
“We have talked all evening and he really did answer a lot of my questions and doubts. I just still need a little more time to make my decision, that’s all.”  
“If you want, I could come over this week if you need any help. I really am happy for you and I really want to see you happy too. I am sure Carson can help making you happy”

Even Jenna heard he did not mean that last part. She did not say anything though. She couldn’t. She needed to know why Catcher still doubted Carson and she would ask him as soon as she saw him again.

“That would be nice, Catch. I will ring you after he leaves. ‘Night Catch”  
“Night love”


	24. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 21**

When Jenna woke up that morning, Carson was already up and even made her breakfast. He ordered her back in bed so he could bring it to her.

 _Why is he so cheerful all of a sudden? He has never brought me breakfast in bed before. I have not given him an answer in my sleep, have I? I have not even dreamt about it, so I doubt that to have happened._

“Here you go, darling. I will put your coffee on the nightstand, so it will not fall off if you move suddenly. Did you sleep well?”

 _Aha, there we go. He wants me to make a decision faster. If he treats me really well, I might make up a positive mind sooner._

“I slept wonderful, thank you. And you? Is the couch still a bit comfortable?”

 _Now, why did I ask him this? This is asking for trouble…_

“The couch is alright. I’m used to it by now, I don’t mind that much. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I cannot wait to finally be able to sleep next to you in this bed, but until then the couch will do just fine.”

Yep, he was definitely trying to work his magic.

The rest of the day Carson tried his best to show Jenna how much he loved her and how much he wanted to take care of her. He made her lunch, brought her coffee whenever he thought she wanted it, cuddled on the couch without even attempting to take things further. It actually drove Jenna insane. She had never seen him like this before and she wasn’t sure she even liked it. Oh, she loved the fact that he did things for her, but she knew that that wasn’t the real Carson. She knew it was just an act to get her to make up her mind sooner.

All day Carson never mentioned the proposal or asked her if she had even thought about it yet. Until he left at the end of the afternoon.

“So, have you thought about what I asked you last night?”  
“Not yet, I have been enjoying your attention all day too much to give it any thought.”  
“You liked that, huh? I thought you would, get used to it, darling. I am planning to do that for the rest of my life if you will let me.”  
“I know you will and I promise you that I will figure out what I want and let you know as soon as I can.”  
“I can’t wait for that moment, Jenny darling. And when that moment comes, I will place that engagement ring I have bought you already a few months ago on your finger.”  
“You knew I would not give you an answer yet?”  
“No, I actually hoped you would say yes right away, but I wanted to save that moment of placing that ring around your finger for when you would be back home.”

In truth he had forgotten to bring it. He had been so busy preparing ideas to get Jenna into bed that he completely forgot about the easiest one; a ring on her finger might have softened her. Not that Jenna actually would have given in, but she might have been easier on him and taken things further a bit more. Who knows, he might have been able to undo her bra and enjoy the touch of those body parts he had not yet seen before.

Jenna tried not to think about yesterday’s event, she needed some time to think before she would be able to think of answers. Unfortunately her mother did not give her much choice. Within 20 minutes after Carson left, the telephone rang. As if she had known when he would leave.

“Hello Jenna dear, how are you? How was Valentines Day?”  
“It was wonderful mum; we went out to dinner at this lovely restaurant, really romantic”

Jenna decided to play innocent until her mother ACTUALLY asked her about the proposal.

“Did he give you anything? Roses, a surprise?”  
“Come to think of it, no, he did not give me any flowers.”  
“Did anything exciting happen?”  
“What could have happened mum, we were at a restaurant.”  
“Jenna, stop playing this game and just answer my question”  
“Alright, though it was fun playing for a while. Yes, he proposed to me mum.”  
“I knew it, I am so happy for you Jenna. Congratulations. You have waited so long for this.”

 _I have waited long for this? I think you mean YOU have waited long for this moment._

“So when is the happy day?”  
“I have not given him my answer yet.”  
“Huh? But why not? Don’t you love him?”  
“Of course I do, but I just need time to think about a lot of things. A lot is going to change for both of us and I just want to make sure that we will not make a big mistake before we get married. Of course I will marry him one day, I just need to think about when and where that will be, where we will live and if I might be willing to give up New York for him.”  
“Jenna, dear. Stop being so childish, just grow up finally and face reality. If you love him than there should be nothing holding you back. Just ring the poor boy as soon as he gets home and tell him you will accept his proposal. If you will not then I will.”  
“Don’t even think about it mum. I will give him my answer as soon as I am ready for it. I am not doing this because I like playing a game or something. I need to do this for me too. I need to make sure that if I decide to even move back, I can live a life there. We will need to go through so many changes and I am just not sure if I am ready for that yet. It could even be that I will accept his proposal but make him wait for at least a year or maybe two. We will also need to figure out how we are going to pay for this wedding once that time comes. I know I have some money saved, but I have no idea if he does too. Traditionally the parents of the bride pay for the wedding, but I don’t know if you can. See, these are all things I have to think about. I promise you mum, just like I promised Carson; as soon as I have figured out everything in my head and you don’t know half of what is going on in there right now, I will give Carson my answer. I would not worry too much about that. It will happen one day mum, really.”

The conversation ended shortly after that. Her mother kept telling Jenna she did not agree with her reasoning, but she would just have to deal with it. Jenna would decide when the time was right.

When Catcher telephoned her that evening, Jenna told him the entire story again and he actually agreed with everything she had said. He promised her that he would come over Friday and maybe he could help her with some of her questions. He knew she was going through a hard period which should not be so hard and he wanted to help her through it. He also did not want to leave Carson hanging too long. HE also deserved an answer.

~

Unfortunately Jenna was forced to push that meeting up to Thursday when she rang him just after 2 AM, telling him she had another nightmare. One of the worst ones yet. When Catcher heard Jenna’s voice, he decided to come over immediately instead of trying to calm her over the phone. He knew that that would not work this time. Jenna was way to upset.

“Baby, come here.” Was the first thing he said when Jenna opened the door. Jenna thought she finally had her tears under control, but as soon as Catcher put his arms around her the tears returned tenfold.  
“What happened this time?”  
“He-he forced me to watch again, he even tied me to a chair so I could not leave.”  
“Oh my goodness”  
“When he tied me down he started kissing me first before he turned back to ‘Allison’. Since I could not do anything because my hands were tied he started touching me everywhere. When I asked him to stop, he stopped immediately and told me he had expected me to say that. Then he turned around and walked over to that woman again and he just did it, never taking his eyes off me. He even had the nerve to laugh when I started crying. When I asked him to stop doing that to that woman he asked me if I would then give it to him.”

Jenna started crying again. She would never forget the look on Carson’s face when he asked her that. Catcher held her again, hoping that she would calm down a bit. When he felt that her sobs became less he loosened his grip on her a bit.

“Let me get you some water.”

When he returned he held out a glass of water, which Jenna drank eagerly. When she handed him the glass back again Catcher gave her another glass he had pored for her. When Jenna asked him what it was, he only told her that it was a bit stronger.

“Drink this, love. It will calm you down a bit. Now tell me what else happened.”

Before she continued her story she drank the liquid in one go. The scotch burned her throat but it did feel good. When she tried to get up to have another one, Catcher sat her down again and told her he would do that for her. As soon as he gave that one to Jenna, she tried to down it in one gulp again, but was stopped by Catcher. He warned her that she would be drunk before she could blink and she definitely did not want that to happen. She had never really been drunk before. And she would regret her action in the morning.

“Do you think you are ready to tell the rest of the story?”  
“I think so. Where was I?”  
“You asked him to stop having sex with that woman and he asked you in return if you would then ‘give it to him’.”  
“Oh, right, I told him that he knew I wanted to wait and then he said that he would then not stop having sex with ‘Allison’ until I would give in. I started crying and screaming in my dreams again, but that only encouraged him to continue.”  
“He is a bastard… well in your dreams anyway. What happened next?”  
“I woke up. I think that the crying and screaming may not only have happened in my dreams because I was crying when I woke up and Mr. Mister sat in a corner, looking terrified at me.”

When Jenna felt another batch of tears prickling behind her eyes, she took another sip of her drink, hoping that that would be enough to hold the tears back.

“What have I done to him to deserve this? What have I done to _anyone_?” she whispered. “I am so sick and tired of this. I know I am not the only one having nightmares and I am sure that a lot of the nightmares out there are probably far worse than mine, but still I keep wondering _why me?_ ”  
“You have not done anything, love. Why you are having these nightmares? I really don’t know. Will they ever stop? I am sure of it. I just hope that that will be soon. Your bags under your eyes are growing by the day. This really does need to stop or else I will fear for your health. What I have noticed it that they get worse every time. Maybe this will have been like some sort of ‘climax’ and that they will ease down from now and I really hope that they will disappear soon. If they don’t, I will gladly go along to a doctor with you, if you want me to.”

They were silent for a while. Both thinking about what to say. What do you say after someone just told you a story like Jenna had just done?

“Would you mind holding me for a while?” Jenna needed the comfort of a strong arm holding her. She also knew Catcher gave the best hugs.  
“My pleasure. I will stay here with you until you fall asleep.”

Jenna fell asleep almost immediately. After sleeping badly for longer periods, exhaustion sometimes easily takes over when there is someone with you to watch over you. Catcher noticed her breathing was easy, hoping beyond hope that that meant she was not having another nightmare. He held her in his arms until he was really sure she would not wake up, but when Catcher tried to put her in her own bed, she did wake up again. As if she felt that he would leave as soon as she was in bed, fearing the return of another nightmare.

“Thank you so much, Catch.” She said as Catcher put the duvet over her. “You’d better go home now; you can still catch a few hours sleep.”  
“Are you sure? I mean, I can stay here and watch you sleep for a while.”  
“I know that, but I don’t know if I can fall back to sleep again, knowing that you need your sleep too. I promise I will be fine. If it goes wrong again, I will ring you immediately, I promise.”  
“Pinkie swear?” Catcher joked, but still with a serious undertone.  
“Pinkie swear” Finally she showed a smile on her tired face. “Come on, I will walk you to the door.”

As they walked to the door, Jenna tightened her robe as if she would face the cold winter at her door. Since she lived on the 17th floor of an apartment building, that was very improbable.

“’Night Catch. Thanks again for everything. I really owe you one.”  
“Don’t worry. After what you have done for me, this was the least I could do. Besides, what are friends for, right?”  
“Right.”

After they kissed each other goodbye, Catcher turned around again.

“Hey, you have not even shown me your engagement ring. Let me see”  
“I-I don’t have it yet. He actually forgot to bring it with him. Though he tried to hide it by telling me this story about wanting to give it to me once I am home.” Of course she had noticed that what Carson had told her that Sunday was nonsense, but she didn’t want to say anything about it. She even figured he still needed to buy one.  
“You better make sure he gives it to you then. A woman deserves an engagement ring.” Catcher meant every word of that. He remembered when he asked Nancy to be his bride. They were not engaged long enough to buy her an engagement ring; the engagement only lasted a helicopter flight.

After they kissed goodbye once again, Jenna called him back again.

“Hey, you forgot to tell me why you did not have a date on Valentines Day. I could not believe my ears when you told me that. What happened? She stood you up?”

Now that would be a first.

“I never date on Valentines Day. You know that I do not want to commit myself to anyone right now, if I would have taken a girl out on Valentines Day, she is going to assume that what we have is more than just a short romance and think she is in a serious relationship.”  
“That actually makes sense, I never thought of that before. For the first time I actually agree with you here.”  
“Well, good. It is about time”

Kiss.

“Listen, if you don’t feel up to go to work tomorrow, just call in sick. I am sure Nancy will understand.” Again Catcher turned around before leaving Jenna behind.  
“I will think about it. Maybe it will be good if I just stayed home and stay in bed for a day.”  
“I will bring you dinner tomorrow evening, so you don’t have to get up and prepare that too. I will give you the whole package, making sure that you do not have to get up once.”

Kiss.

“Catch? If you would rather want to stay home tonight or go out on a date, I will understand. You don’t have to come over just to check up on me. You have done enough for me already.”  
“Jen. We had already agreed to meet up tomorrow. I don’t have anything planned. Besides, I was going to help you try to figure some things out, remember?”

Kiss.

“Do you realise” Jenna started once again “we have kissed each other goodbye for what, 5 times now? If people would see us now, they would think we are a couple.”  
“At least we know the truth. People would be appalled to see me kiss an engaged woman. Especially since I am a dangerous divorced man. Alright engaged woman, I am really leaving now. Give me one more so I can get some sleep.”

Kiss …

But this time, nor Jenna nor Catcher let go of each other. They stayed right where they were. Touching each others lips, softly nibbling and caressing one and other. Jenna was the first to put her arms around Catcher, softly tickling the nape of his neck. Catcher soon followed and he slowly walked them back into Jenna’s apartment. As he closed the door, he leaned against it for support. Jenna pushed her entire body softly against him, never letting go of the lips she was kissing.

Catcher started caressing her back, something that gave Jenna goosebumps all over. This amused Catcher so much that he kept going. When Jenna parted her lips a bit to let some of her breath go that she had been holding, Catcher took his chance and requested permission to take it further by licking Jenna’s teeth. Jenna was not going to deny him of that, she enjoyed it far too much.

She could not get over how soft his lips were. She found out that when she sucked in his bottom lip, Catcher would tighten his grip on her a bit. She liked that, it made her feel wanted. After sucking on his lips for a while, while Catcher could not stop licking her teeth and upper lip, Jenna felt another request; this time she felt his tongue wanted to make way past her teeth and meet her own tongue.

Their tongues met and started exploring each other. They twirled like a dance around each other as they tried to touch every spot in reach. Catcher caught Jenna’s tongue with his lips and softly sucked on it, as if to show what else he would love to do with her. That drove Jenna wild and her kisses intensified. She wasn’t thinking about what she was doing was wrong or if she was doing anything wrong, all she could think about was that she wanted more, she wanted it all.

Catcher never gave her a feeling that what she did was wrong; he made her feel safe and wanton. He made her feel like the most beautiful and desirable woman on earth. Like no other woman existed.

Jenna tried to put all her passion and desire in the kisses she was giving Catcher, never letting go of his lips. He not only felt her desire through her kisses, but also through her nightgown. Her nipples were now so hard, you could almost cut glass. When he felt them even through his coat, Catcher could not help himself; he had to touch her there. He had to feel how much she wanted him. When his thumb touched her right nipple, Jenna was ready to explode. How could such a simple touch almost send her flying over the moon? This had never happened to her before. She felt her groin burning and her heart racing. She wanted to feel more of him, but how could she ask him that? Would he think her silly, if she did?

Catcher felt a hesitation in Jenna, but he knew she did not want to stop. He remembered that she had never done this before, so that had to mean that she had not a clue of what she was doing right now. He had to show her somehow that what she was doing to him was definitely alright. In fact, he could almost not believe she had never done this before, if only more women knew how to kiss or to react like she did. It would have made some of his dates much more enjoyable. Then again, if they had, he would not have reacted to Jenna like he was doing right now.

As his knees got weaker, he knew he would not be able to stay standing up for very long, so he took a big risk and walked them to her couch and lay her down. There was a good chance that she would stop him as soon as she felt contact with the couch. But she never said anything or tried to stop him. As he lay himself beside her he looked at her.

 _She is so beautiful, how could I have never seen that before? I mean, I have always thought of her as a beautiful woman, but tonight she looks different. Look at her; she is even more beautiful with that wanton look in her eyes. I want her so much right now, unlike I have ever before. If she will let me, I will give her everything I have got._

He lowered his face again to meet with her mouth once more. Without realising it, his hand made its way to her breast again. The way she moaned when he touched her, made him groan deep in his throat. Something that made Jenna giggle softly. She knew _she_ had made him do that. _She_ had made him groan like that.

After that Jenna apparently could not stand it any longer to see him so overdressed. He was still wearing his coat and she figured that that would be way too warm by now. On top of that she also wanted to feel more of him. When she finally got him out of his coat, which was quite a task, she surprised even herself when she started to unbutton his shirt. When the first few buttons were undone she put her hands inside his shirt and started to caress his chest. She loved the feeling of his chest hair. When she softly pulled it, Catcher would make that sexy groaning sound again. That sound alone was reason enough for her not to stop doing it. Every few seconds she would pull his hair, until Catcher actually pulled her hands away.

“Please stop that.” He whispered. He knew his voice would not work anyway if he had tried. “If you keep touching me like that much longer, I don’t know how long I will hold out. I don’t want you to think that I am some incapable twit who can’t control himself. I am afraid that that _will_ happen if you keep doing what you are doing to me right now. I am not done with you yet, not for a long time.”

Wow! She could not believe what he just said. He really wanted her, in fact he even told her so. She never would have thought that she would even enjoy it this much.

Suddenly he looked into her eyes again, serious but when she looked at his eyes again, she had noticed how much the colour had changed. They had darkened and deepened so much.

“Baby, I would really like to touch you, is that alright?”

Instead of answering his question, she opened her robe to show him she had no problem with it. Catcher could not believe his luck. He remembered some of his … let’s say … inexperienced dates from the past and they had not been so shy yet giving. Some of them got scared when he asked them, some of them immediately took everything off, taking that bit of fun and magic away. Jenna had then expected Catcher to grope her chest, like she was used to by now, instead he did not touch her at all yet and started to kiss her neck.

Now, you remember how I told you _Carson_ was a wonderful kisser? He did know his way around, but let me tell you; he was nothing compared to Catcher. When he kissed her neck, she felt that one spot between her thighs tingle so much she thought she was going to explode. She felt this weird sensation build up there and she could not wait to find out what would happen next.

It did not take her long to find that out. Catcher had noticed how she had been building up to a climax, just by kissing her neck. It was now up to him to make sure that he would complete that task. Once it happened everything went black before her eyes. She felt like she was flying. It took her minutes to come back down to earth again. She had no idea what had just happened to her, but she knew she wanted to feel that again…. And again … and again.

He could not believe what he had achieved by just kissing her neck. If she would react to his kisses like that, he could not wait to be actually joined with her and show her over and over again how amazing an orgasm like that could be.

When Jenna returned to earth again, Catcher did not want to stop what he had started. His first destination had not been reached yet and he hoped that he would reach different stations along the way to his goal. He returned his lips to her very sensitive neck and before he slowly made his way down south he moved up to her lips once more, whispering into her mouth that he had never seen such a beautiful thing. He had meant it. As soon as he felt Jenna’s orgasm, he had to look at her. He had to see what it looked like to see her in total bliss.

He then continued his journey down south again. First stop was her chest.

In the meantime, even without Catcher realising, Jenna had ripped open his shirt, buttons flew everywhere. Jenna had difficulty of getting Catcher to let his hands go from touching her body everywhere, so she could take off his shirt. Once she had finally succeeded, she needed to lose the tie too. She knew that his pants were too far away to actually take care of them while he was still kissing her body. She was not going to stop him doing that … yet. She knew that that time would come and she would just be patient.

Catcher’s lips went lower and lower until he felt the fabric of her nightgown again. He did not dare to ask her to take it off just yet; he would just leave it up to her to decide. But it would not hurt helping her make that decision, now would it? So he continued his journey of kisses on top of her nightgown and finally they reached her right breast. He started kissing her nipple through the fabric as if he was kissing her lips. He then had to do it; he had to bite one of them. He knew she would probably react strongly to it, hopefully just as strongly as he himself usually did. When he did, Jenna let out a scream. That had been just the reaction he had been hoping for. In her mind, tons of questions raced through her brains: How come she did not know that would feel so good? Why was she still holding out on all of this?

Why was she still wearing that darn nightgown, when instead he could be kissing her nipple without fabric in the way? If being kissed on top of her nightgown felt this good, what would it feel like if there was no fabric in the way? Would he even do such a thing? Or is that a very sick thought?

If she asked him to take the gown off, she would find out soon enough. But how would she do that? Could she just ask him to take her gown off and continue what he was doing?  
No, she had a better idea. She would not ask him, she would just wait until he would suggest it himself, then she was sure he would show her.

When she looked into Catcher’s eyes, she could not believe how much desire she saw in them. He actually wanted her and he was not afraid to hide it. Hopefully she showed him the same thing.

And she did, it almost sent Catcher flying over the moon himself. He had also seen her permission to take of her night gear in her eyes. Something he did not wait doing.

There she was, wearing nothing but her underwear now.

“Baby? Please, can I take off your bra too? I am dying to feel your breasts under my skin, I want to taste them, let you feel what a pleasure that could bring.”

She had her answer.

“I thought you would never ask.”

And that’s when the bra went flying too. To ease Jenna a bit, Catcher did not want to be too eager and attack her breasts just because they were now exposed. First he just stared at her body for a while, letting the beauty of her sink in. Catcher slowly lay down again, this time lying on top of her. Something that Jenna welcomed with open arms and … legs. As hard as she had found it to put her legs around Carson that first time in the car, as easy she felt it now. When Catcher put his wait on top of her, she felt how much it affected him for the first time. She felt his erection against that core of her womanhood, right where it should be. Carson still had not managed to do so; he still managed to ‘poke’ her just to the left. If he had done it right and actually took the time to lay down right in the middle, she would have definitely enjoyed it all a lot more.

Feeling his hard length against her, turned her on even more. She did not even think it would be possible, but it was. It was the most erotic feeling she ever felt and she finally understood what Stacey had meant when she told her it should feel so good when done right.

Instead of the expected thrusting of his lower body, Catcher did not move at all at first. He returned to kissing her mouth again, tasting her, caressing her, exploring her. When he left her warm mouth, he kissed her cheeks and just behind her ears again. Then he did nothing for a few seconds, except hold her … tightly. Making sure that every inch of his body was in touch with hers, especially the vital parts.

He then kissed his way down again, just like he had done before, except this time he knew he would not find any obstacles for a while. Again he reached her breasts. The last time he had kissed her there, Jenna would not have believed that that feeling she had felt then would intensify much. Oh boy, was she wrong. She felt that same tension, she had felt before when he kissed her neck build up inside her again, this time however she also felt this desperate urge to have him take her completely. She did not know what she was going to experience when he would, all she knew was she wanted to make love to Catcher … now.

Jenna made Catcher stop kissing her and looked into his eyes.  
“Catch? Make love to me.”  
“I thought you would never ask” he repeated her earlier statement; it was all he could say at that moment.

That was when it happened; Jenna’s alarm clock went off, mentally waking both of them up from what they had been doing.


	25. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 22**

What had they done?

What had they almost done?

What were they going to do now?

All Jenna could think about was getting her clothes back and run to her bedroom. She could not believe she had almost done that one thing she still denied Carson of. She could not believe she had almost done it with her best friend. She could not believe she had actually cheated on Carson, after all the nightmares she had had where he would do that very thing to her!

When she closed the door to her bedroom, she fell on the bed crying.

 _Why? Why have I done this? How could I let myself go like that? How am I going to face Carson now, knowing that I was the unfaithful one? What am I going to tell him when I see him again? How could I have been so stupid? How could I have almost given Catcher what I have been waiting to give Carson for so long? What am I going to do now?_

On the other side of the door stood Catcher, also not really knowing what to do. Most of the same questions ran through his mind; how could he have done this? How could he have let it get this far? What were they going to do now? What was he going to tell her now?  
But also other questions entered his mind; Jenna? His best friend? How come he had never seen her like that before? How come it felt so right?

“Jen? Can I please come in?” He asked softly, but loud enough for Jenna to hear. He stood outside her bedroom door with his hands deep in his pockets, not really knowing yet what to say once he was inside. He just knew that they had to talk about this.

“I… I think it’s best if you left” Jenna managed say between sobs.  
“No Jen, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about what happened.” Catcher figured she would try to back out on that, but he could not just leave now. If he would, he would lose his best friend.  
“Just leave, Catcher. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Too bad, Jenna, you are going to talk about this, whether you like it or not.” Catcher opened the door and walked towards the bed where he found Jenna curled up, crying into her pillow. Immediately he sat beside her and picked her up into his arms, holding her tight.  
“Baby, please don’t do this to yourself. There is nothing to cry about, we did not do anything wrong.” He whispered into her hair, trying to convince himself as well of what he just told her.  
“Nothing wrong?” she said, trying to get free from his warm and comforting (and still bare) chest. “How on earth can you say that? I am engaged for crying out loud.”  
“I know…. But I don’t regret what happened. Please don’t you do that either. I know what happened wasn’t the smartest move, but I will never regret it happening.”   
“You should, Catch. We should never have let this happen. How on earth did we let it happen anyway? What possessed us to kiss each other like that?”  
“You tell me, love. For me, I guess because I saw this beautiful desire in your eyes, a desire I have never seen in you before. As if you drew me in and forced me to kiss you”  
“So it was me? I did it, right? I am to blame for this?”  
“I did not say that and if you listened to what I said, you would know that too. I said that I saw a desire in your eyes that drew me in. I have to say that Carson is one lucky man, he will get to see that every day for the rest of his life.”

Jenna refused to believe what Catcher just told her. How could he say such a thing, still making it sound like it was just her doing, her fault?

“Is that what you tell all you girlfriends? That you saw this ‘desire in their eyes’? Does it work every time?”  
“That hurts, Jen. You are still not listening to what I am saying. I did not say once that it was ‘your fault’ that we ended up like we did. It still takes two to tango and we were both to blame for what happened. I am just telling you why _I_ acted like I did. Just for your information; no, I never say that to the women I go out with. I cannot believe you would think I treated you like one of them. They have always been very special to me, but you … you mean the world to me. I would do anything for you.”

What Jenna did not know was that Catcher had not dated since his divorce. He had felt awful after he had slept with that cocktail waitress the night before his divorce. He had decided then and there that she was to be the last one. When she left, she had asked him when she would see him again and he told her honestly that he wouldn’t. He told her that when his divorce was final he would start changing his life and that he was actually ready to settle down. The girl told him that she hoped he was not thinking about settling down with her; she had only been looking for a fun night. Apparently ‘Barbara Novak’s’ book was still doing its job well.

“I answered my question, Jen.” Catcher continued softly “now it’s your turn; why did you kiss me? Why did you let this happen?”

Jenna was quiet; she did not know what to answer. She got off bed and put her robe which she still held in her arms back on. She was stalling and she knew it, she just needed a little more time to figure out what to answer. She sat back on the bed, as far away from Catcher as she possibly could, making sure he could not touch her again. She thought about what had happened and honestly she could not think of why she had done what she had done. Well, that is not entirely true, when she looked into Catcher’s eyes she had seen that same desire of which Catcher had spoken of earlier, only having seen them in his eyes. Just like he had said, she had felt like his eyes drew her in and made her kiss him. On top of that, she found that her feelings for him were apparently still there, but she would never ever tell him about that.

“Jen? Stop stalling, please just answer me.” He asked her again.  
“I…. I guess … I guess the same reason as you” she confessed in whisper.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Because of that look in your eyes, I saw this desire in them and I felt like … something forced me to … act upon that desire that I saw.”  
“Really?”  
“What are we going to do now?” Jenna ignored Catcher’s surprised question. She wanted to drop this subject and just move on and forget it ever happened.  
“I was kind of hoping you could tell me that, because I don’t know what to do now. All I can tell you is that I hope that this will not change our friendship. You are the closest friend I have, especially ever since Mac got married, and I just don’t want to lose you.”  
“Of course we will still be friends, why wouldn’t we? Maybe I just need some time to think about what happened, you understand that, don’t you?”  
“Of course I do. I think I do too. It’s not like I make love to my best friend every day”

Yep, you read it right…

“I cannot believe how close I got to actually doing just that. I can’t believe how I just let myself go like that, I am so embarrassed”  
“Why?” Catcher asked, not sure if he needed to feel hurt or not “Why are you embarrassed?”  
“Because I made a fool of myself, acting the way I did.” Jenna said with a blush on her cheeks.  
“What on earth are you talking about, Jen? What makes you think you made a fool of yourself? Because you acted upon desire and need? Because you did what your body craved for?”  
“But the _way_ I acted was embarrassing”   
“You mean the sexy moans you made? You really have no idea how much it turns a man on, do you? If you are talking about undressing me then I would like to remind you that _I_ never complained the tiniest bit. If you are talking about that incredible sexy way you kept pulling my chest hair, then again I want to remind you of what I told you; I asked you to stop because you were driving me insane with lust. Please, please don’t you ever think you acted like a fool, you were so sexy that I could not believe my luck to have you in my arms. I mean it when I say that Carson is one lucky guy.”  
“But I….”  
“No, love. No buts, you were probably the sexiest woman I have had the pleasure to be with. I guess from now on I will have to raise my standards.” He said with a twinkle in his eyes.  
“You are so full of it.” Finally a smile graced Jenna’s face again. She knew he only said it to make her feel better, but the thought of his words actually being true made her all warm inside.  
“What? You don’t believe me? I would be more than happy to prove to you how much I have enjoyed tonight.” As he said this, he walked over to her so seducing that Jenna had a hard time not giving in to it. Just before he reached her, Jenna finally found her voice again and said:  
“Don’t you dare, or I will make my boyfriend come over and beat you up!” Catcher loved the way she looked now; happy yet playful.  
“Promise?” He couldn’t help it; he had to let her know one last time how desirable she could be.

“Seriously, Catch. What are we going to do now? I me…”  
This is what we are going to do” Catcher interrupted her before Jenna would only make it harder on herself. “You are going to go home to your family tonight, call Carson to come over and tell him that you accept his proposal. You then tell him that since I was the one to help you make your decision, you want me to also be there at your wedding. In fact, you want me to get the full treatment; dinner, wedding, the whole shebang.” Catcher knew that this was the right thing to say, but why did it hurt so much to say it?  
“And we never ment…”  
“No” he said with pain in his eyes and his heart. “I think it might be best for Carson if you just keep this to yourself. I promise you that I will never tell anyone about our night together.”  
“I can’t even tell Stacey?”   
“Only if you want to. I know how much she means to you and she probably sees it in your eyes anyway. Again I promise you that I will never tell her either. The only way people will find out is if you tell them. I don’t want to lose you or your friendship, just because I told someone.”  
“But I don’t want to lose you too by telling Stacey about this.”  
“You couldn’t lose me if you tried. I would even be surprised if you never told Stacey about it. As long as you won’t use it _against_ me.”  
“Never, Catch, I promise.”

~

After Catcher left, Jenna phoned work to tell them she would not be coming in that day because of terrible headaches. As soon as she hung up, she lay her head down on her pillow and pulled her blankets over her and fell asleep instantly.

She was woken by the ringing of her telephone and when she opened her eyes, she noticed it was already dark outside. Had she really been sleeping that long?

“Hello?” Her voice still cracking from lack of use for a number of hours  
“Jenna dear? Is that you?”  
“Hi mum, yes it’s me.”  
“Why are you in bed, dear? Why aren’t you on your way over here? I expected you to be here almost an hour ago.”  
“Huh? What time is it?” It could not be _that_ late, could it?  
“It is 9 o’clock, dear. Why aren’t you here yet? Why are you still at home? Have you forgotten again?”

Again? When had she ever forgotten before?

“I am so sorry mum; I’ve been asleep all day. I’ve had another night of nightmares and headaches. This time it was so bad that I couldn’t even go to work today.”  
“So what are you going to do now? Have you already packed? If you dress quickly, you can be here at 11.”  
“Mum? My head is still pounding and I think it might be better if I stayed in bed and slept it off. I will come over first thing tomorrow morning.”

Did she just hear a disappointed sigh on the other end of the line? Her mother acted like it was _her_ fault that she had nightmares. As if she asked for them.

“Well, if it is not too much trouble, then.”  
“Mum, stop that. It’s not as if I enjoy these nightmares or ask for headaches so strong that I would rather be run over by a train than have another headache again. Like I said; I _promise_ I will come over tomorrow morning. Right now, I just need some sleep and hopefully by tomorrow morning I will feel better.”

 _Whatever happened to mothers feeling sorry for their children because they are not feeling well?_

When her mother finally hung up, of course not before she complained some more, she made a quick phone call to Carson to also let him know she was not coming over. Unfortunately his father told Jenna Carson was not there, apparently he was ‘out’ and his father did not know where to. After that, she remembered that there was probably a very hungry and by this time very angry cat waiting for some food. She wasn’t bothered with making herself some. All she wanted was to go back to sleep and maybe catch some more of that dream she had been having when her mother woke her up; a faceless man had been doing all these sexy things with her, just like Catcher had done that morning. Even though the faceless man’s body reminded her a lot of Catcher’s body, Jenna would later deny any resemblance.

But instead of continuing her luscious dream with that so-called faceless man, they turned 180˚ and instead of Catcher, Carson entered her bedroom again, of course closely followed by Allison. I will spare you the details this time, except for to say that this time Carson actually had the nerve to ask Jenna ‘you don’t mind, do you?’ and then lay down next to her to entertain her while she tried to sleep.

~

Again another night without sleep had past. Instead of the regular one nightmare and then not being able to sleep for a number of hours, Jenna was plagued with nightmare upon nightmare. In total she managed to fall asleep 3 times and every time nightmares tortured the ever so tired Jenna.

This resulted in an even worse headache for Jenna. She did not dare not to drive up to her family though, she also wanted to prove to them she was not playing a game with them. During the drive her headache only got worse and she even had to stop down the road a few times because she could not see straight. When she finally arrived, an hour later than she had hoped, her mother was already out on the porch waiting for her.

As she stumbled out of the car, her mother walked over to her…

“So, you finally made it dear? I was beginning to worry that you maybe were going to phone us again and tell us again you were not coming over at all this weekend.”  
“Mum, stop, seriously. I have an even worse headache than I had yesterday and it took me 3 hours to get here instead of two.”  
“Then you should have stayed in bed last night and not gone out partying like you probably did.”  
“Please mum, stop talking right now before I say things I know I will regret later on. Please tell me you have something to help me get rid of this head ache and help me up the stairs. I don’t think I can make it up there on my own.”

Finally her mother looked at her and saw that she was not kidding. Though she still expected her daughter to have been out the night before. She was not going to ask her now though; her daughter needed sleep and some painkillers.

A few hours later Jenna woke up because she felt a hand softly stroke her cheek. As she opened her eyes she found Carson looking at her.

“Hello darling, wake up now, you have been asleep all day”  
“Hey” she said, not really knowing what else to say to him yet. Again dreams about that headless man haunted her and she was still tingling all over.  
“So how are you feeling now? Does your head still hurt?”  
“A bit, I had a good rest and that really helped.”  
“I guess that proves you should not go out partying so late at night then.” Carson pretended to joke, but Jenna could see the serious undertone in his eyes.  
“Carson, don’t you start either. I have had a terrible night, trying to fight 4 nightmares in total and I am not in the mood for this. On top of that, I have not eaten anything over the last two days and you could say I am hungry. If you really want to pick a fight about me going out last night, then do so after I have something in my stomach.”  
“I was only joking, darling. If you say you stayed at home last night, then I believe you.”  
“Do you really?”  
“Of course I do, darling. What kind of marriage will we have if we do not believe each other?”

Without asking Jenna about the nightmares, Carson helped Jenna out of bed and into the kitchen where Jenna prepared some food. She had not really realised how hungry she _really_ was until the smell of bacon entered her nose.

“Jenny darling?”  
“Yes” she replied shortly, fearing that dreaded question she was certain was coming now.  
“Have you thought about what I asked you last week?”

 _Here you go, Jen. Just do what Catcher told you to do, you know he is right._

“Yes, I have. Actually Catcher helped me with that final push I needed.”  
“Really? You made a decision?”  
“Yes!” She figured that that was enough for Carson to understand.  
“So what have you decided then?”

Apparently Carson needed a little more to understand…

 _Alright, here it goes….._

“Yes, Carson, I would love to marry you and be your wife”


	26. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 23**

“Really? You will really be my wife?”  
“You heard me.” Jenna replied with a twinkle in her eyes. She thought Carson looked really cute with this surprised look on his face. As if he had not expected to actually hear her say yes.  
“I just want to be sure I heard it right. Please say it again.”  
“Yes, Carson, I will marry you, I want to be your wife and build a home together”  
“Please tell me I am not dreaming again.”  
“No, you are not dreaming, Carson.”

Carson finally walked over to where Jenna was still preparing some food and took her in his arms and kissed her. Jenna had always hoped that when she would finally accept his proposal and when they would finally be engaged, she would finally start to feel something when they were kissing like this, but again she felt nothing. In fact, all she could think about was the amazing way Catcher had kissed her the day before. How it had swept her of her feet. This time she did not feel weak in her knees, no butterflies in her stomach and nothing even close to feeling light headed.

All of a sudden they heard someone clearing a throat. Knowing that Joe was not at home and it being a male sound, it could only be one person; Jenna’s father. When they disentangled themselves they indeed found a non too happy man behind them. His cheeks were red and his eyes dark with anger.

“Hi dad” Jenna said as if she was a little schoolgirl again.  
“Jenna, you know I do not approve of this behaviour. Not in my house.”  
“I am sorry about that, Mr. Taylor, but it is my fault. I … ehm … I lost all manners when your daughter told me the news I had been hoping for. She finally accepted my proposal, sir.”

Her father was silent for a while, not really knowing what to say or how to respond. He was happy for his daughter, but should he then all of a sudden approve her behaviour?

“That still does no justify this behaviour in my house. Jenna knows I do not approve of it before she is married and just because you have now agreed to be married does not mean I approve of it now. Jenna, you know our standpoint, I am a little disappointed that you did not keep to that.”  
“But dad…”  
“No buts, Jenna. The old rules still apply when you are in this house ‘as long as you are under my roof, you will still go by my rules’. Until I actually see that wedding ring on your finger, this rule will apply. I will not bend the rules for anyone, no matter your age.”  
“Dad, please, I am 27!”  
“Doesn’t matter, even if you would have been 72 I would not have approved of this kind of vulgar behaviour.”  
“Vulgar? Dad, we were giving an innocent kiss”  
“When you put your arms around one and other like that and do not come up for air, it is not an innocent kiss to me. I don’t know what you do at that apartment of yours, but I do hope that at least a little bit of your upbringing has not been forgotten.”  
“Dad! Please, you are acting ridiculous. And if you really must know, even if it is none of your business; no, I have not forgotten. I still live by _that_ rule.” Jenna could not believe she actually told her father she was still a virgin, as if it was his business. She knew her father was a very old-fashioned man and she tried to bear that in mind every time she saw him, but she was officially engaged now; he could have eased a little bit. It wasn’t as if they were doing it on the kitchen table.

“What is going on in here?” Jenna’s mother came into the kitchen because she heard people talking and it wasn’t pleasant.  
“Nothing darling. I just had to remind our daughter what our house rules are here.”  
“Yes, he did. He ran into us while we were giving each other an innocent kiss to celebrate our engagement, but da…”  
 _“ENGAGEMENT??”_ Her mother shouted out loud excitedly. “Did you say engagement? Is it true? Have you finally accepted?”  
“Yes mum, I thought about it this week and Catcher actually gave me that final nudge that I needed.”  
“Why did you not tell me earlier? This is such good news”  
“Because I wanted to tell Carson first, mum. I thought he would want to know before I told my family. I only _just_ did. We would have come into the living room and tell you, but dad interrupted us before we had a chance.”  
“Oh my goodness, I am so happy now. Aren’t you happy father?”  
“I would have been happier if I had not run into the display I just witnessed.”  
“Oh, grow up, old man. They are young and in love, don’t you remember what we were like when we were young?”  
“That is exactly why I do not approve of their behaviour.”  
“What?” Jenna started laughing. “So, you do not approve of _our_ behaviour because you remember all too well you behaved exactly the same way when you were our age?”  
“We only never got caught, dear.” Her mother replied with a blush on her face, remembering her younger years. “Oh my, this calls for a celebration. I will telephone your brothers and tell them to come to dinner tomorrow evening. You can tell them then, dear.”  
“But what about his parents? They also do not even know, mum. I think they will want to know first too, before you plan a whole celebration dinner.”  
“Then we will invite them too. They should be here too since they will also become a part of the family now.”  
“Then we will still need to tell them first, mum”  
“Go on, shoo, go and tell them. And tell them they are invited to dinner tomorrow evening.”

~

“So? Tell me everything” Stacey came over early in the afternoon after also having been invited for dinner. Jenna’s mother even wanted to invite Stacey’s parents until Jenna told them that would be a bit much. Jenna never wanted to make a big deal of it, but her mother wouldn’t hear of it; her only daughter was finally getting married! Finally she was going to be the mother of the bride for once and she was going to enjoy every single second of it.

Maggie had told her daughter that morning that of course she and her father had saved up for her wedding from the day she was born and since it took Jenna 27 years to get engaged, they had saved up a nice amount for the wedding.

All morning Maggie had been trying to talk about the wedding to Jenna, but every time Jenna tried to get through to her mother that she needed to talk to Carson about everything first. Maggie’s main concerns were when? Where? And what was Jenna going to wear? Maggie was afraid that Jenna would want a New York wedding with a typical New York dress, not that Jenna had a clue what that looked like. She could not convince her mother that you would find the same dresses in New York too. It was true that you would also find a lot of designer dresses, but also the regular ones.

“What? You knew about the proposal, Stace, what else do you want to know? What made me make up my mind?”  
“That would be a start and after you tell me that I want to know all about that other thing that is apparently bothering you.”  
“What would be bothering me now? The nightmares which I have had again over the last few days? Nothing new there.”  
“Are you sure that there is not something else bothering you?”

Jenna was too afraid to tell Stacey about her night with Catcher. She would keep _that_ to herself for as long as she could.

“Just the nightmares, Stace, oh and my mother.”  
“She has really lost it now, hasn’t she? She actually already told me that since I will probably be maid of honour, she will want to meet up with her every Friday evening to discuss what needs to be done and what she will want me to do. I told her that I have not even officially spoken to you about this wedding and that I do not know if I will be maid of honour. Who knows who you picked? I know you are also good friends with Catcher’s sister-in-law.”  
“You are fishing for answers, as a punishment I will keep that little bit of information to myself for now.”  
“Of course I would really like to know, but I just want you to know that I _will_ understand if you pick someone else. I might not want to speak to you for a number of weeks, but I _will_ understand… try anyway” Stacey winked at that last remark. The two friends had already told each other when they were 12 that they would be each other’s maid of honour once the other would get married. Actually asking them was just a formality.  
“Just wait, Stace. You will find out soon enough. Ugh, my mother has been talking about the wedding all morning. She ‘suggests’ a spring wedding next year and if we would really like to, we can use the back yard for the ceremony. I told her that I would talk to Carson about it, but we will probably go for something else. Then she continued about my dress and what the bridesmaids should wear, then the cake, flowers, invitations, then … I don’t even remember what she said after that. I think I already regret not eloping.”  
“She won’t be like that if Joe and I will get married, will she?” Stacey whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear that.  
“I hope not. Probably not though, Joe is just another son and she has not a lot to say about that. She will just be the mother of the _groom_ again.”  
“Thank goodness.”  
“But since you are also my best friend, she might think of it different. Who knows?”  
“Not funny, Jen. So, you have any idea yet what you _will_ do? Or haven’t you talked about that yet?”  
“Mum never gave us a chance to talk about it in private. My father made sure that when my mother left the room HE would be ever present. He walked into us kissing last night and he just went mad. Saying that our ‘vulgar behaviour’ was unacceptable in this house and he did not want it to happen again.”  
“Are you kidding me? Where was I when that happened, I would have loved to have seen that happen…. Not you kissing Carson, 'cause that is something I rather not think about, but your father walking in on you. I can imagine his face; beet red and his eyes flaming fire.”  
“Yep, exactly. We had to promise him that this would not happen again. We are not married yet and thus it is unheard of to act like we are. My mum walked in while dad was giving us a lecture and she said that they did the exact same thing when we were young”  
“No way!”  
“Yes and dad said that that was the very reason why he did not want to see this kind of behaviour now.”

“But what made you make up your mind finally?”  
“Catcher did.” Jenna tried furiously to keep herself from blushing, but to no avail she blushed crimson.  
“Why are you blushing all of a sudden? What did he do?”  
“He just told me that I should say yes, that it would be good if I did. He actually thinks we are right for each other.”  
“You are lying through your teeth. Why won’t you tell me the truth? Did something happen?”  
“No, nothing happened …”  
“Jen, if your face goes any more red, it will explode. You have always been a terrible liar, so stop trying. Is there a reason why you won’t tell me what he really said?”

When Jenna didn’t reply and had a look of fear in her eyes, Stacey got really worried. She closed her arms around Jenna and told her that whatever it was, it would be okay.  
“You know I am here for you, Jen. I have always been and I always will be here for you. If you don’t want to talk about it now, then I will understand. Just remember that I _will_ be when you need me.”  
“I know, Stace. I just can’t talk about it _now … here_. Just please believe me that what I have just told you really is true. Catcher really was the one who convinced me to agree to this marriage. He even told me that since _he_ was the one to do so, _he_ should be invited for the whole day; ‘the whole shebang’ he said. All I need to do now is convince Carson and my family that he should be here.”  
“Then tell him what you told me; that he was the one to help you make your decision. I will help you with a story as to how and why. If you come up with a story of your own, they will never believe you. You really are the world’s worst liar.”  
“Thanks”  
“Just tell me that I do not have to worry about anything. I don’t, do I?”  
“No Stace, you really do not need to worry about anything.” _But I do_!

~

That evening went just like Jenna expected. Her mother was the perfect host and made sure everything went perfect. When she actually gave a speech, she tried to hint towards her audience that she was hoping that it would be that spring wedding in their garden. Carson and Jenna then had to tell everyone that they would let everyone know as soon as they had time to discuss it all.

The weeks that followed were very busy for Jenna. Her mother made her come home every weekend because she felt that there were things that needed to be discussed. Against her mother’s wishes, Jenna and Carson decided on an autumn wedding in a little church near the woods. Jenna then had to promise her mother that the reception and party would be held at her parent’s.

Jenna and Catcher didn’t speak to each other as much as before. Whenever Jenna had some time to herself, her mother made sure that she would be preparing for the wedding and she just felt awkward when she talked to him on the phone. That night was still there, even if they both never mentioned it. It hurt Jenna so much that she felt like she did lose her friend, but what choice did they both have? Jenna was engaged and Catcher was a playboy with 10 girls on each finger. Or so she thought. She still did not know that Catcher hadn’t dated since his divorce.

She also did not know that Catcher missed her so much, he started dreaming about her. He, too, had those dreams Jenna had about her and Catcher. Every morning he woke up with a painful erection. At first he tried to deny it, but after 2 weeks he knew it had to do with Jenna. He just didn’t understand why he never noticed her until now. What was he feeling for her anyway? Was he in love with her? Or was it just because he had tasted of her, but not fully? Every night he would dream of finishing what they had started. But every time he dreamed of that, he dreamed of making love to her, not the usual sex-dreams he had had before with other women.

It had been a month since he saw her last, they had walked into each other at the supermarket and Jenna was so nervous that he did not know what to say to her. He wanted to ask her to come over for dinner, but he actually chickened out! That had never happened before in his life! What was wrong with him? Was that because Jenna did not know how to act around him now?

He was determined to telephone her tonight, hopefully regaining the friendship that he missed so much. He needed her in his life, even if she was getting married. He did not even know _when_ that was going to be and if he was even going to be invited to it. He would just phone her up and ask her about the progress of the wedding and if she was still as happy as he hoped she would be. He would _definitely not_ try to mention that night, the one that changed his entire life.

~

Jenna had already been asleep when her telephone rang at 10 pm. It was a Thursday evening and tomorrow after work she was forced to travel to her parents for the wedding again. She knew her mother would keep her occupied the entire weekend, so she needed all the sleep she could get while she was still at home.

Jenna had agreed to move back once she was married. She told herself that she did this because of her future husband, since he could not move to New York because of his work. Deep inside she knew that the real reason was that maybe then she would be able to get Catcher out of her head. Ever since that night dreams of them together have haunted her nights. She had tried to avoid him for weeks and in that time she had only run into him once. He looked stunning as ever and Jenna had had a hard time not staring at him. She had missed him so much and her body had trouble containing itself.

“Hullo?” She answered the phone in a sleepy voice.  
“You weren’t asleep already, were you?”  
“C-Catcher?”  
“Hello love, did I really wake you?”  
“K-kind of, yes”  
“How come? Nightmares still bothering you?”  
“That and my mother.” Now why did she say that? She had not spoken to him in over a month and the first thing she does is complain about her mother?  
“But why haven’t you phoned me after a nightmare? You know I am there for you if you need me.”  
“I know, but I am also trying to handle them. I guess I am getting used to them.”  
“And what is wrong with your mother?”  
“Ehhh … The wedding!”  
“So you are getting married? I am so happy for you. So, when is the happy day?”

 _Did I really forget to tell him about the wedding?_

“29th September”  
“That soon? Not a spring wedding? I figured you would prefer that.”  
“No, my _mother_ preferred that. We just want to get married soon. You are coming aren’t you?”

 _Please tell me you do not decline because we haven’t spoken in so long and you feel left out._

“It would be my honour. How could I possibly miss it? But tell me what is wrong with your mother? Is she meddling in the whole thing?”  
“Do not ever call it ‘the thing’, if my mother found out you were calling it ‘the thing’ she would disinvite you on the spot! She is not just meddling in the whole day, but in _every little detail_! She is driving me insane. Every weekend she makes me come over to discuss new progress. I do not have a single moment to myself, if I do; I make sure I sleep during those moments because I know I am going to need it before I speak to my mother again with new tasks.”  
“What on earth could take so much time? A wedding is a wedding right?”  
“Remind me not to seat you next to my mother on the actual day. She _will_ have you removed if you talk to her about ‘THE wedding’ like that.” Jenna replied with a smile. Realising even more how much she had missed their conversations.

“I’ve missed you” As if Catcher read her mind, he said the one thing that Jenna was too scared to voice.  
“Me too” More than that would not pass her lips at that moment.  
“Why have we not spoken to each other for so long? Is it Carson? Does he not want you to?”  
“He doesn’t know we used to talk so often.”  
“But then, why don’t we anymore?” Would he ask her that dreaded question about their night together? “Does that night have anything to do with it?”  
“Maybe…. I guess so…. I don’t know …”

 _Oh, right … that’ll clear things up!_

“I guess a bit, yes. I mean, I’m engaged and…. I guess, out of sight, out of guilt?”  
“But didn’t we promise each other that that night would never affect our friendship? That it happened and that we would just go on with our lives. I will never deny it never happened, but I won’t run away from it either. Can we just please pick up again where we last left off? If you want me to, I can maybe help you with the wedding?”  
“Would you? But please promise me you will be the exact **opposite** of my mother? As in, be able to talk about something else besides the wedding, don’t push me into something I do not want and let me make my own decisions.”  
“Deal, starting right now. How are Joe and Stacey doing?” Catcher realised Jenna must be going insane with all that wedding talk from her mother. Changing the subject to something different would probably be a warm welcome, just like she had asked him to.  
“Thanks, Catch …. They are doing fine. No one knows about them still, except you and me. I guess they have passed a point right now that instead of hiding from everyone because of reactions, they are now probably hiding it because they have hidden it for so long, they do not know how to get it out in the open without again getting looks.”

They talked and talked, as if they had not spoken to each other for years. Both desperately trying to avoid bringing up that one night they had shared, even though they both could think of little else. Both still imagining every second of that night so vividly as if it only just happened seconds ago. Catcher realised that for the first time in his life he was actually jealous of someone; Carson. He wondered what it would be like if Jenna had never met Carson; would _they_ be together now? He knew Jenna had felt for him once. Would she have still felt that way if she had never met Carson? Would their friendship even be the same as it was now?

“Have you noticed what time it is?” Jenna said with a smile, only just realising herself how long they had been talking.  
“Oh my, 2 am. Better let you catch your beauty sleep. You will need it before you face your mother tomorrow.”  
“Ugh, and I am realllllly looking forward to it too, can you tell?”  
“I promise it’ll be Sunday before you know it.”  
“That’s what worries me; I can’t even remember the last time I enjoyed a weekend.”  
“Then fake a flue or something, that’ll get you off the hook, won’t it?”  
“I wish, then she would only come over here, together with a doctor and the entire medicine cabinet.”  
“You know what? You go and face the firing squad this weekend and I will come up with an idea to get you out of going to your parent’s for a weekend.”  
“I’d like that. Night, Catch.”  
“Night, love”


	27. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 24**

“My mother wants me to wear her old wedding dress”  
“No? Please tell me you told her thank you, but no.”  
“I did, but she wasn’t happy. ‘I have always saved it for my only daughter, hoping that she would wear it too one day’.”  
“So? What now? Are you going to wear it, or are we still on for that shopping date in the city next weekend?”  
“ …. Yes, we are…” Jenna replied her best friend hesitantly.  
“Jen? What are you intentionally forgetting to tell me? … Oh god no. Please don’t tell me she is coming along. Please?”

When Jenna tried to find an answer that would satisfy those fearing eyes, Stacey knew the answer.

“Why, Jen? I thought we were finally going to get a day without her. Why did you ask her along?”  
“Because it was either take her with us or I was forced to wear her dress!”  
“As dreadful as it is, you did make the right choice. But, did you also tell her that it is going to be YOUR choice and not hers?”  
“Oh yes, don’t worry about that one. But you know my mother, Stace; you can count on it that she will still try to get her say in it.”  
“Then it is a good thing that I am coming along, because I will not let you walk down that isle in some awful dress. You have my word.”

And Stacey kept her word. When they went to go shopping for a wedding dress 2 weeks later, Stacey pulled out the most beautiful gown Jenna had ever seen, within the first few minutes after arriving. Even Jenna’s mother fell silent for a few seconds, but that did not last long. Maggie did not want to leave the shop until she was absolutely certain that there was no other dress that would look better on her daughter. An amazing 6 hours and 12 dresses later Maggie was finally convinced that there just was no other dress for Jenna. The one Stacey had pulled out was ‘the one’. Though, as beautiful as it looked on Jenna, they all secretly thought that it did not suit Carson. No, I do not mean that he would wear it, but Carson did not fit walking next to Jenna in that dress.

That evening Maggie could not stop talking about the dress and again not about the wedding. It was driving Jenna insane, not a single day went by without hearing from her mother about that darn day. She almost regretted not eloping, though it was on her mind every time the telephone rang. _It’s not too late, we can still run._ Stacey, Joe, Carson and even Jenna’s father John were also getting pretty tired of it now.

“I liked your mother better when she was still criticising you” Stacey told Jenna when Stacey was about to leave for the evening. “Please don’t hate me for saying that.”  
“I could not agree with you more. I hardly look forward to it anymore, just wishing that the damn day was over so we could get on with our lives. I wish Catch would come up with an idea that will keep me away from here for a weekend. He promised me a few weeks ago, but the only ideas he gave me were unusable ones. If I tell mum I’m sick, she’ll be on the first train to New York checking up on me and making sure that I will not be ill anymore on the day of the wedding. Then he came up with Mr. Mister being ill, but then she would just tell me to bring him along, working late on Friday’s only helps for one evening as she will MAKE me come up here the next morning. He even came up with you coming over for a weekend, but the first thing I could think of was that mum would tell me that I should just give you my key so you could stay at my place while I stayed here. No, cash is also not an answer as they have been paying me for petrol ever since we announced our wedding. So far he still has not come up with an excuse I could actually use.”  
“How about we need to go shopping for lingerie for your wedding day? She would not want to come with us, would she? She would not want to know what you want to wear on your wedding night?”  
“But then she will still make me come up here when we are done”  
“No, because I will make you go out to dinner with me and after that it will just be too late to drive up here.”  
“Why can’t you go out to eat on Friday evening, when Stacey arrives?” Jenna mimicked her mother.  
“Because Stacey can’t come over any sooner than Saturday morning.”  
“Good one, that might even work.”  
“On top of that, I still have a few things I need to tell Stacey that I have been dying to tell her for 2 months now”

Jenna still had not told Stacey about her night with Catcher, she never got a chance with her mother around all the time.

“How about next weekend then? I really need a wedding break soon. I could ask my brother to drive you up there.”  
“Drive Stacey up where, dear?” Maggie asked when she walked into the hallway and heard Jenna talk about her brother.  
“Driving Stacey to New York next weekend. We are going lingerie shopping.”  
“What do you mean, lingerie shopping? We have a wedding to plan, dear.”  
“But it is wedding related. It’s lingerie for my wedding night. I would have invited you too, but I figured that a mother does not really want to know what her daughter wears on her wedding night.”

Maggie actually thought about it for a while, wanting to be involved in everything, but finally regretfully decided against it.

“But can’t you do that here? You will have to start getting used to shopping here anyway.”  
“Sorry mum, but I want it to be special and Harriet just doesn’t have that kind of lingerie I am looking for.”  
“Just make sure you are here for dinner then.”  
“I-I’m sorry Mrs. Taylor, but I kind of wanted to surprise her with dinner afterwards. We have not really talked for such a long time and I really need to tell her something.”  
“But … but after dinner it will be too late to drive up here.”  
“Then I will miss one weekend here mum. It will not be a big deal, we have just about everything arranged anyway. If something does come up, we can discuss it the weekend after that.”  
“Does Carson know about this?”  
“Why are you bringing Carson into this? I do not have to ask his permission, mum.”  
“So, he does not have to know that you are not coming over next weekend?”  
“I will tell him later mum. I am sure he does not mind, since he told me he would also like a weekend out with his friends again. He has not seen them in weeks, because of the wedding.”  
“Don’t be so sure, dear. You should not just make appointments without checking with your partner first.”  
“Then I will ask him right now”

“Carson, would you mind if I skipped next weekend to go lingerie shopping for the wedding with Stacey?”  
“Lingerie shopping? You mean for our wedding night?”  
“Yes”  
“Now, why would I mind that?”

 _Typical male answer!_

“My mum thought that you might not like it if I would not come over next weekend. Don’t get me wrong, of course I will miss you, but this also needs to be done, right?”  
“Hell yes, it does. Besides, then I can meet up with some of my friends. Haven’t seen them in ages.”  
“See, mum? I told you that it would not be a problem.”  
“Then it’s settled. I will be coming over to you next weekend.” Stacey cheered.  
“Joey, are you doing anything next weekend? Would you mind driving Stacey up?”  
“hmmm? What?”

 _yeah, right. As if you had not been listening to every word that has just been said._  
“Would you mind driving Stacey up next Saturday?”  
“I think that can be arranged. I will check this week if I can and let you know later in the week, is that okay Stacey?”

Even after dating for so long, Stacey still blushed a little.

~

“So, how was your weekend? Did you find a dress? Did you have a choice in the matter or did your mother decide it for you?”  
“What’s with all the questions? I thought of all people you would not ask me anything about the wedding.”  
“What? I am just showing my interest, that’s all. I will drop the subject immediately if you really do not want to talk about how horrible this weekend was.”  
“It wasn’t that bad. I did find my dress though, or Stacey did really. It’s gorgeous, just you wait.”

“I came up with a new idea for you to stay here for a weekend again.”  
“Really, tell me. I wonder if it’s better than the idea Stacey came up with.”  
“Hang on; I thought I was the only one?”  
“You were until Stacey came up with an idea that actually worked. But I would still really like to hear your idea though. We still have quite a few weekends still to go, you know.”  
“What do you mean; she came up with an idea that worked?”  
“Like I said, she had an idea and my mother bought it!”  
“When?”  
“Next weekend! Fantastic, isn’t it?”  
“But … how?”  
“I will tell you as soon as you tell me your idea.”  
“Why don’t you tell her you need to buy something that should not involve your mother?”  
“Like lingerie for instance?”  
“I wasn’t sure if I could actually say that, but yes, that was exactly on my mind.”  
“And maybe afterwards have dinner with the person I bought it with? Then it would be too late to drive to my mother and thus I would have to stay here for the entire weekend?”  
“… That was Stacey’s idea too, wasn’t it?”  
“Oh yes”  
“And it actually worked”  
“Oh yes.”   
“No protests?”  
“Oh yes.”  
“So we are going dancing next weekend?”  
“… Maybe. It all depends on when Stacey and I finish dinner. I want to talk to her about a few things and that will probably take a while.”  
“Then we will go dancing this Friday. I will not take no for an answer. Take Stacey with you.”  
“She will not be here until Saturday, so it will just be you and me then.”  
“Even better. It’s about time we did something together again.”

“Night, Catch.”  
“Night, Love.”

~

The week that followed was the longest in her life, probably because Jenna was really looking forward to the weekend that followed. Her mother had phoned her every day with her so-called emergencies, but Jenna told her that they were all cases that could wait until the next weekend. Maggie had tried everything she could think of to get her daughter to change her mind and come home after all, but even her husband John told her to let it go and let their daughter enjoy a weekend with her friend for just once. “In a few months time she will be back here and you will have all the time in the world to talk to her. If she thinks she needs this weekend away in ‘her city’ then let her believe that. We both know she belongs here and as soon as she moves back, she will do again too. Whatever problem you have thought of now for the wedding can wait another week.”

Friday was the worst of the week. She thought she would never get through her work and on top of that, she got stuck in a lift in between 2 floors for two hours. When she finally was released from the small cabin, she had to hurry to finish everything in time. Not only was she now responsible for just in- and outgoing and internal mail, but also taking care of memo’s and a very new and hi-tech machine called telex. Of course at a time like that, the telex would not work, the mailman was way too early to pick up the outgoing mail and she had 4 memos to take care of before she could go home.

Catcher was supposed to pick her up at 6.30 at her apartment, which would normally not be a problem. Normally she would be home at 6, feed Mr. Mister, change and even have time to spare before Catch would pick her up. But right now, she was not even sure if she would be _out of the office_ before 6.30.

When Jenna got the telex to work again, it was already past 6 o’clock and she still had those four memos to do. She rushed them as fast as she could and was happy to still see Nancy Brown at her desk to approve for them.

She finally left for home at a quarter to seven, knowing that she would have 2 men to explain herself to. One of the two was easy, she would just tell him the truth, but the other was a lot harder to convince. He did not like it when he had to wait to get some food down him.

When she arrived home, she did not see Catcher waiting for her in the lobby.

 _Phew, at least I am not the only one who is late. At least I now have some time to ease Mr. Mister’s mind a bit. He will not be happy at all that I am late and that I am leaving straight away to go out to eat with someone else. Oh yes, I will be paying for it tonight._

When she opened her door, Mr. Mister was not waiting for her like she had expected. When she called for him, he did not even come running up to her with that angry face that he usually pulls.

 _Wow, he must be really mad then._

But when she walked into her kitchen, Jenna found out why her cat was so quiet; Catcher was wearing an apron, preparing all kinds of food, Mr. Mister was at his foot making sure that no food was spilled on the floor.

“There you are. What happened? You are awfully late.”  
“I … I’m sorry, I had to work a bit late unexpectedly.”  
“I was close to telephoning your office to find out if something had happened to you, or if you were just late. But then I realised you do not have your own telephone I can call directly and I figured it would not be such a wise idea to phone the central line. I am sure you would be the talk of the office on Monday.”  
“I probably would be, yes…. H-how did you get in?”  
“We switched emergency-keys, remember? I hope you do not mind. When you did not answer your door when I arrived, I went upstairs to start preparing dinner without you already. I also fed The Monster for you.”  
“Thanks. I thought you said we were going out to dinner?”  
“I changed my mind. I thought it’d be nice to stay in for once. At least this way you could not cancel on me.”  
“W-why would I do that?”  
“Because you’ve got a look of guilt on your face that confirms my fears.”  
“I would not have cancelled, Catch. I was actually trying beyond my might to be home on time, so I would not be late when you came to pick me up.”  
“I was just kidding, babe. Seriously? I just assumed that you might like a night at home for once, instead of running around, getting packed and speeding towards your parent’s for the weekend. If you are still up for it later, we could still go out dancing. I bet you have not done that in ages.”  
“So true, every time Carson even tries to take me out, my mother actually tells him off before he even gets a chance to ask me. She keeps telling him that I look so tired and that I need my rest for the ‘big day’. The only reason _why_ I look so darn tired is _because_ she keeps me busy with that darn day.”  
“How come your mother has changed so much all of a sudden?”  
“You mean why she doesn’t disapprove of me anymore, so all of a sudden? Because she got her wish, doesn’t she? I am getting married, settling down and moving back home; the only thing she ever wanted me to do. When I tell her that I have a job at a small lawyer’s office, she pretends she did not hear it.”  
“You have found a job already?”  
“That was the first thing I looked for when I made the decision to move back. I even had Carson help me find one, because I told him I would not move back _unless_ I had a job.”  
“So, how do you feel about moving back then?”  
“I don’t know yet. I know it is the only possibility for Carson because he has the shop to run. I guess I will get used to it one day. You will visit me every once in a while, won’t you?”  
“Try to keep me away! Of course I will visit you, as long as you come up to the city every once in a while too. You know I have a spare room big enough for the two of you.”  
“Thanks, Catch. I am really going to miss you, you know.”  
“Then don’t move. Stay here.”  
“Catch! You know I can’t. How would you feel if your wife lived 2 hours away from you?”  
“Probably as if I am not even married. Then don’t marry him and marry me! That way you can stay here in the city, which I know you would love to do, keep the job you love, you don’t have to live in a town you hate AND you would never have to miss me, because I am always there.”

 _Stop it, Catch. Don’t make me actually think about it. I would probably end up doing it. Please give me a chance to get over you completely._

“Sure, Catch. Let’s do that. But … what would you tell all your dates when you bring them home and ask you who that woman is on the couch watching television? ‘That’s my wife, but she does not mind at all that I have sex with you, do you honey?’”  
“I knew you would understand. So, it’s settled then? You already have a dress, we could elope tomorrow and you could move in on Sunday.”  
“But would _you_ agree too if I came home with a date, intending to sleep with him with you in the next room?”  
“Why would you need one? You have me, right? Believe me when I say that I will satisfy your every need!” Catcher could not help but give Jenna his biggest seductive smile.  
“Thank goodness you are so modest. So what are we having for dinner?”  
“Sure, change the subject. I just had a brilliant idea and you want to change the subject.”

Catcher quickly turned around, not understanding himself why he just suggested this idiotic idea. He knew she knew it was a joke, but then why did it sound so right in his own ears? The visions of the night before returned to him again. He had dreamed of Jenna in a wedding dress, she had never looked so happy, especially when her father gave her away to him! They just looked so perfect together. If only Jenna felt the same way. If only she had never met the loser.

Jenna, in her turn, also turned away and pretended to look for some glasses. Why did she want to agree to his suggestion when she was getting married to Carson? Why did the thought of dropping the entire wedding and elope with Catcher still sound so appealing? Why could she still not get over him?  
When she returned with some glasses, she filled them with some wine.

“You still have not answered my question; what are we having for dinner?”  
“Something simple, I’m afraid; spaghetti. I remember you saying that you liked it and I figured you have not eaten it in a while now. Are you tired of mashed potatoes with beans yet?”  
“Hey hey hey, I do not have beans every night when I am with my parent’s, sometimes she makes spinach or leek or something.” Jenna replied jokingly.

After they had enjoyed their dinner, Catcher suggested going out dancing again. He knew that that was the only way he could touch her and be near to her. At the club they never left the dance floor, not wanting to let go of one and other.

Jenna just pretended that she really needed a night off from the wedding, that she did not want to think about anything at all, just want to dance. She told herself it had nothing to do with wanting to be close to Catcher, even though she cursed every song with a quicker pace, longing for the slow songs.

Catcher on the other hand just enjoyed being near to her. He had no need to deny his feelings, he knew how he felt about her and he also knew that he would never have her; she was getting married to someone else. He would just enjoy the rare opportunities, like this one, where he would get to dance with her and hold her for as long as she allowed him to. He would not leave the dance floor unless Jenna was to request it and so far, Jenna still seemed quite content on the dance floor.

When Jenna finally laid her head to rest on her pillow at 3 am, she fell asleep with a smile on her face and a print of Catcher’s lips on her cheek.


	28. 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 25**

“Oh my goodness” Jenna said to Stacey when they stood in the living room. “Oh my goodness”  
“You said it.”  
“Why did I do this again?”  
“Because you love him, Jen.”  
“I guess so, but still …. What did I get myself into?”  
“Jen, stop overreacting, it’s not that life threatening, you know.”  
“That’s what you keep telling me.”

“What’s the matter, darling?” a voice came from behind them.  
“It’s only two weeks till the wedding and look at what we still have to do to get this house ready before then. We will never make it in time.”  
“Of course we will, honey. Don’t worry about it.”  
“But, according to my mother, we still also have tons to do for the wedding. How are we going to combine it all?”  
“We’ll let your mother take care of the wedding and we will take care of our house, how about that?”  
“Well … let me answer that question with asking you one; how would you feel about my mother taking care of everything that she thinks still needs to be done about the wedding? Are you telling me you are comfortable with her making last minute changes to anything her heart desires because _she_ thinks it’s an emergency?”  
“Ouch … you’re right. Can’t we work on the house during the day and you can go home to your mother to take care of the wedding during the evening?”  
“I guess that could work. It’s not fair though, why do you get to have all the fun and I get to talk my mother out of every hideous idea she keeps coming up with?”  
“I thought you liked all that stuff?”  
“Carson, why would I like talking my mother out of those awful pink roses at the entrance of the chapel? I have been trying to get her off of that idea for about a week now, I even spoke to the florist this morning _forbidding him_ to listen to my mother if she tries to contact him again. So what if callas are more commonly used for funerals? I love them and I want them at the chapel!”  
“Then honey, you will have them at the chapel. I haven’t a clue what they look like, but I am sure you are making a right decision.”  
“And I still have to tell her that I will not be coming over next weekend, because I am picking up my dress together with Stace.”  
“But haven’t you made that appointment, like, weeks ago?”  
“Yup, I know, but you know how she is. She really thinks that we will need the entire weekend too. She KNOWS I will be there for the entire week, probably come over on Sunday or Monday, but she will probably be convinced that we will need that Friday evening and Saturday too. Besides; when does she expect me to pack? If I am moving back here, don’t I need everything from my apartment in New York? Or am I to walk around naked all the time?”  
“I wouldn’t mind”  
“So you would not mind me going shopping naked?”  
“Yes, I would.”  
“Then I need my clothes, I also would like to take all my other stuff with me. But if I don’t spend any time at my apartment, I will never get packed. She has ordered me in bed at 10, so I also do not have a lot of time to pack during the evenings… aarghhhh. Is it too late to elope?”

Not only did Jenna want to pack her things and pick up her dress, it would also be the last time she would get to go out with Catcher before the wedding. She knew she would not see him as much as she did now once she got married and if she did, Carson would probably want to come along.

Over the last few months their friendship had returned to what it was before that one night. They talked over the phone before they went to sleep, they met up once a week (if Jenna’s schedule her mother set up allowed it) and told each other everything …. Well … almost everything. They never told each other how they really felt about the other.

Catcher had fallen deeper and deeper in love with Jenna and it hurt him badly every time she mentioned the wedding or when she returned to her family for the weekend. He figured that it might be for the best that Jenna was to move back home instead of having Carson move to the city. At least that way he could try to get over her without worrying about running in to her in the city. He knew Jenna needed him at the wedding, he knew he could never stay away, but boy if he could… he would make sure he would be miles and miles away. He had met Carson a few times now and he hated him more and more every time they met up. No, he did not hate him, loathing was more like it! He just _knew_ that there was something wrong with the guy, he just could not prove anything. As soon as he would find some proof though, he would run up to Jenna to tell her the truth and what a mistake she was making by marrying that …. Bastard.

Jenna had only kept 2 things from Catcher: her nightmares and her dreams. Both still plagued her during her nights. Jenna figured Catcher knew she still had her nightmares, but he never asked about them. Of course she never told him about her dreams, mostly because they were about Catcher and usually a very, very hot and steamy situation. She could not even remember the last time she was even partially dressed in her dream and if she had been, it did not take long before it was all taken off again.

Jenna really hoped that both her dreams and nightmares would end when she was married. She was still convinced that her nightmares were only because she was still withholding herself from Carson, this would mean that she would not be bothered with them from her wedding night on. If they would continue, she would go and visit a doctor because then she knew something had to be wrong with her.

But what would happen to her dreams of Catcher once she was married? Would they also disappear? More importantly; does she really want them to disappear?

~

“Dear? When is your last day at your job?” Jenna’s mother asked her over dinner.  
“Friday, why?” Jenna lied. Her last day was already on Wednesday, but she wanted to keep that to herself for a little while longer. Not even Stacey, Joe or Catcher knew about that. She wanted just two days of freedom, peace and quiet. She was going to sleep in late, enjoy the last 100 pages of her book and walk around New York now she still could. She would also probably pack her stuff in boxes since she really had no clue when she was going to be able to do that.

“So you will be here at about 8 then?” Her mother asked her again.  
“No, I will not be here before Sunday, maybe even Monday. All depends on how long it takes me to pack up my things before I move back. I also still need to pick up my wedding dress and lingerie.”  
“What? You still have not packed up?”  
“When am I supposed to do that, mum? You order me in bed before 10 and before that time you usually have me prepare other things for the wedding. I really have not had any time for it. That is why I will stay in New York over the weekend, I am going to pack up and pick up some things that need to be done and I will be here on either Sunday afternoon or Monday. Do not worry mum, we will not lose time, the only time we will lose is for getting the house ready. Carson is going to be doing that all alone over the weekend, but I will join him again as soon as I am back here.”  
“Do you need any help? Maybe I can come over this week and help you pack?”  
“No, mum, I can handle it all, I am just not going to make it on Friday. Mum, I assure you that everything will be done on time. You will have a care free wedding day, I promise you that.”  
“Hang on” Joe interrupted “something is wrong here. I thought it was the _mother_ who is supposed to assure her _daughter_ of the day of her life, calming her down and telling her that everything would be fine on time.”  
“In any other normal case it would be, Joey, but you are talking about the Taylor-household here.”  
“So, you are staying in New York then?” Her mother said, definitely not happy.  
“I don’t really think I have a choice. If I want everything done before the wedding then I don’t see any other option. I have already talked to Carson about it and he agreed with me.”  
“So Carson knew about this before I did?”  
“Mum! Listen to yourself! Of course I have told Carson about it first, he is going to be my husband, remember?”  
“Hmmph” And that was the last her mother uttered for at least an hour.

~

“Hey baby, do you need any help with packing tomorrow?”  
“I think I can manage, but I would never say no to an extra hand.”  
“Then I will be there at 9, I only have to leave you for an hour or two during the day to pick up a tux for your wedding.”  
“Catcher Block, I would have figured you to have at least a dozen of them hanging in your closet.”  
“I do, but I figured you would like to see me in a brand new one. One that I have not used for a date.”  
“Ah, well I guess I should feel honoured then. I also need a little while away too since I am picking up my wedding dress.”  
“Oooooh, really? Can I see it?”  
“Isn’t it bad luck for the bride to show her dress before the wedding?”  
“Only if you show it to the husband to be, love. Hey how was your last day at work today? Was it very weird to leave?”  
“I … ehm … I actually had my last day on Wednesday already. It was really weird though, I just cannot believe I will never come back there. So much has happened there, we even met there, remember?”  
“Hold on, back up a second. What did you just say? Why didn’t you tell me about Wednesday?”  
“Because I wanted a few days to myself. I haven’t had a day to myself for so long now and I really needed it. Are you mad?”  
“Of course I am not mad, why would I be? I just didn’t want you to be lonely, that’s all. At least I know why. Did you enjoy your few days off?”  
“Oh yes. I slept in late, I read my book, I walked through Central Park, went to the shops and just did things I have been longing to do ever since I told my mother I was getting married.”  
“But you did not pack?”  
“Of course not. If I had, then you would not need to help me tomorrow and I would miss out on a fun day, just the two of us.”  
“I am going to miss you”  
“You have no idea”  
“You know you can still back out of it.” Catcher said with a smile.  
“Who knows, I might take you up on that offer soon.”  
“Get some sleep love, you will need it for tomorrow.”  
“Thanks, Catch. ‘Night!”  
“Night, love”

True to his word, Catcher stood on Jenna’s doorstep at 9 am the next morning, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Jenna had never seen him in anything different but a suit or at least dress pants, seeing him like this made her heart jump. He had never looked so sexy.

“So you actually _do_ own jeans! Or did you just buy them too?”  
“Oh, har har, get out of the way, help has arrived but is in dire need of coffee first.”

All morning Jenna could hardly think of anything else but how much she was going to miss having Catcher around all the time. Carson still had no idea how close she was to Catcher, but Jenna felt there was no real need to tell him that. She was allowed to have a friend all to herself, right? Besides, Carson wasn’t too thrilled about her friendship with him anyway. He did not trust Catcher, probably because he saw that Catcher did not trust Carson either.

By noon, her entire living room and kitchen were all packed up in boxes and labelled. Jenna was finishing up in the bathroom and all that was left was her bedroom.

“Jen? Why don’t we have some lunch first, pick up your dress and my tux and finish your bedroom after that? When that is done, we can call it a day and go out for a nice meal.”  
“Sounds perfect to me. I will need to fresh up a bit before I pick up my dress. I don’t want any smudges on it already. I … also need to pick up something else, did you want me to help you pick out a tux or did you have one set aside already?”  
“What do you have to pick up?”  
“Just something else for the wedding.”  
“What?”  
“Nothing you need to know about, Catch”  
“Why not? I thought we told each other everything?”  
“Everything except this”  
“I am curious now. To answer your earlier question, hell yes, I want you to help me pick out a tux now. We’ll do that first, then we’ll pick up your dress and then that one thing you won’t tell me about and what makes you blush bright pink right now.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Ooooh, your bright pink cheeks just turned beet red. It must be something very special.”  
“Stop it, Catch. It’s nothing you need to know.”  
“But I am going to find out anyway, so why keep it a secret? You know, you look awfully cute when you blush like that.”

And that made Jenna blush even more.

“Are you just going to stand here all day, talking about how cute I am with pink cheeks or are we actually going to eat something?”  
“Not pink, baby, beet red and I would not mind at all to stand here all day watching you turn red with everything I say. Who needs food then?”  
“Then you stay here and imagine what I look like red and I will actually go and make myself some lunch. If you have had enough fun, you can join me in the kitchen and make yourself some lunch too. I want to leave in about 30 minutes, if you have not eaten by then, I am leaving without you.”  
“Leaving me behind in your bedroom to go look for more secrets and have that cute red flush return to your face as soon as you walk through that door again! I like that idea.”  
“Don’t even think about it!”

As she walked towards her kitchen, Jenna’s heart raced. Would Catcher ever stop affecting her like that? To get her mind off of what he had just said, she quickly made herself some sandwiches and ate them without looking up. After a minute or 2 Catcher finally joined her between boxes filled with pots and pans, but he never said anything.

Catcher decided to get a suit where Jenna had bought her wedding dress. That way they could combine 2 appointments in one. When Jenna told the woman behind the counter she came to pick up her wedding dress, she was told to change out of her clothes for a final fit.

“Here you go, dear. If you step in, I will help you getting it up and on. There you go, lovey. If you just step outside here for a second, I can check if it’s all okay and you can see for yourself too.”

Jenna walked towards the large mirror in the middle of the shop and just stood there admiring the dress. She was so happy she had taken Stacey with her the day she went to pick out her dress, it was really perfect. She was so into her dress that she never even noticed 2 ladies checking her dress for faults or creases. However, she did hear the male gasp coming from behind her. Catcher was also trying on his tux when Jenna was trying on her dress, he stood behind her wearing dress pants and a t-shirt, just about to try his jacket on.

“Jenna, you look …. I-I don’t even know what to say. You look beautiful… more than that…. Wow”  
“Really? You like it?” The bright pink flush had returned to her cheeks again. If Catcher liked it, she knew it had to be a right choice.  
“No, I don’t _like_ it, I _like_ puppies. I think you look more beautiful than I have ever seen you and that says something since you are already such a beautiful woman.”  
“Stop it, Catch. You are just trying to get me to blush again.”  
“Not this time, love. Believe me when I say that you look amazing. Don’t you agree, Miss?” He asked the ladies still working on her dress. One of them started blushing herself when he gave them his killer smile.  
“Very right, sir, she looks beautiful.”  
“If Carson had not proposed to you, I would have done so right here, right now!”  
“Stop it, Catch, you are just trying to keep me here in New York.”  
“Is it working?”  
“No, Catch, sorry.”  
“Oh, pooh”

Jenna carefully carried her dress, wrapped in a special dress bag. She got nervous now, she knew she had to get into the lingerie-shop around the corner, but Catcher was walking right beside her with a smirk on his face. He also knew she had one package to pick up still and he was just playing with her. If she really did not want him to know what it was (though, he had a suspicion about what it could be) then she would tell him in time and he would return to her apartment and let her finish her rounds.

“So, where are we going to next? Oh, that’s right, we still have one secret package to pick up, is it still far off?”  
“I-I can also pick it up on Monday. Let’s just get back now.”  
“Jen? You know I am just teasing you, right? Will you allow me to carry your dress back to your apartment for you, or do you want to do that yourself?”  
“I-I think I will carry it myself. I will be back in a few.”  
“See you in a bit, love.”

It took her thirty minutes to pick up her lingerie and return back home. When she unlocked her door, she found Catcher reading Now-Magazine with Mr. Mister on his lap.

 _Lucky cat!_

“Checking out competition?”  
“Why would I need to do that? I have already stolen one of their reporters about a year ago.”  
“Was that you? We were wondering where Loraine went to.”  
“So, you have everything ready for the big day now? Are you nervous yet?”  
“Not about the wedding, but more nervous for my mother. I am so scared she might do something I really do not want.”

Catcher never mentioned that little package she had under her arms. He knew it was something private and he also recognized the unmarked pink bag. He once dated one of the girls that used to work there. Knowing Jenna, she would probably not feel too comfortable showing off her stuff she only wants Carson to see on their wedding night.

However, Catcher’s teasing returned as soon as Jenna opened her bedroom door. He could not help himself, he knew he shouldn’t, but he loved flirting with her. Mostly because he knew it made her nervous and shy. On top of that, he could also tell her how he really felt, without her knowing he actually meant it.

“So this is where it all happens then? If only I could have been a fly on that wall for one night, I bet I would have been entertained till dawn.”  
“Sure, you would have been. My nightlife is extremely exiting, you know. I sleep on my left side for a while, turn over, sleep on my right side for a while and sometimes I even sleep on my back!”  
“That’s what you say, but I doubt it to be true.”  
“Then don’t believe me. Now, if you don’t mind, we have quite a bit to pack still and I would actually like to finish it all before nightfall.”

They worked in a comfortable silence, until the last few items of clothing were to be packed. Every time Jenna tried to pack her underwear away from the view of Catcher, he could not keep himself from remarking how sexy she must look or how extremely exiting her nightgowns must be. Because of his interference, it took them an extra hour to finish in the bedroom.

After they put all the boxes and the taken apart bed in the living room, they both freshened up and left for one of Jenna’s favourite restaurants. Catcher knew how much Jenna loved the city and this way she could say goodbye to her favourite spots (but secretly he also hoped that it would help her change her mind at some point). After diner they went to Jenna’s favourite club where they danced until they were told to leave.

Because of the amount of alcohol they had both drank, Jenna kept repeating over and over how much she was going to miss the city, her apartment and Catcher. She kept giggling whenever she almost tripped over her own feet, Catcher found it equally amusing, especially since he got to hold her to keep her steady all the time. When they got to her apartment, Jenna had a hard time with getting her key in the lock, but managed after her fourth try.

“Let me just get my things, babe” Catch then stumbled to the bathroom, where he had left his jeans earlier that evening. “So, I guess this is the last time we will see each other before your big day.”  
“I guess so. Strange thought, isn’t it? I will be married in a week.”  
“Are you ready?”  
“I should hope so, unless my mother comes up with new ridiculous ideas again”  
“That’s not what I meant. Are you really ready to get married to Carson?”  
“I … I guess so. Why do you ask?”  
“I just don’t want you to rush into anything you are not 100% sure about”  
“If I would not be, I don’t think I would actually be getting married.”  
“That’s what Nancy thought too, remember?”  
“But that was entirely different, Catch. You have to remember that. Besides, she was certain that you were really the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. She never realised that she was meant for someone else, until she ran into Jed again.”  
“So you are sure you still do not hold any feelings for old high-school boyfriends?”  
“I never had any and you know that.”  
“Maybe other men you do not realise yet you are still not over yet?”  
Wh-what? Of c … Of course not. Catch, what are you trying to say here? Is there something I should know, or something you know that I don’t?”  
“Never mind. I guess I was maybe hoping for something I knew could never be.” He whispered. Why was he still trying to hold on to something he knew could never be? Because of the volume of alcohol in his blood, he voiced what his heart was trying to say, but what he really should not.  
“What are you talking about Catch? Please talk to me.”  
“It’s nothing, Jen. Just forget I said anything, please.”  
“No, I can’t forget it, especially if I don’t understand what you are trying to say.”

…

“Catch? Please talk to me. Don’t do this, don’t shut me out when I know something is bothering you. Why are you so afraid I might be marrying Carson when you think I might not love him?

…

“I’m in love with you, Jen!”


	29. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 26**

“I’m in love with you, Jen!”

Sometimes just one simple word or sentence can sober a person up entirely, just like right now. Catcher even surprised himself with his revelation. He never meant for her to find out, especially not so close to Jenna’s wedding to another man.

“Wh-what? Wh-what did you say?” Jenna’s legs gave in and sat down heavily on her dining room chair. She looked at Catcher, waiting for his answer and wanting to make sure she had really heard it right.  
Catcher started scratching his head, as if hoping that would take back the words he had just said. When he started pacing the floors, he finally answered.

“Nothing. Forget what I said. I never should have said anything.”  
“Why now? Why tell me now? How long?” Jenna almost whispered. She could not believe what he had just said. Had he really just said he was in love with her?  
“Does it matter? You are going to be married to someone else in a week anyway.”  
“It matters to me, Catch.”  
“Why? Why does it matter? Why do you want to know how long I have been dreaming of you, wishing it was me you went to visit every weekend, wishing it was me who gets to put that ring around your finger next week, wishing it was me you wake up with every morning?”  
“Because you are my friend and I love you.”  
“Just not the way I love you.”  
“Please, Catch, talk to me. Even if it is just to get it off your chest.”  
“No Jen, it would not do me any good anyway. It’s not as if you will leave Carson for me because I am telling you how I feel.”  
“Catch, stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know perfectly well how it feels, alright. I know what it feels like to love someone and not have them love you back. I know how much it hurts.”  
“No you do not know how much this hurts, love. You have no idea of the pain I feel every time I leave your apartment and go back home alone to my empty apartment. You have no idea what goes through my head when we say goodbye each time and I feel your lips to my cheek. You don’t know how much it hurts when I see you together with Carson and you are clearly so happy, yet all I can do is dream that it is me you are holding instead of him. Listen, I know that you used to have a crush on me when I was still married to Nancy, but this is nothing like that.”

“What? Y-you knew? H-h-how?”  
“It was kind of obvious really. You kept stuttering whenever I was around and that cute way your knees usually gave in when you spotted me. I used to love your excuses; ‘I guess it’s time for lunch now’ was probably my favourite.” Finally Jenna saw a small smile grace his face, unfortunately it only lasted for a second.  
“But you never told me you knew.”  
“Of course not, just like you never told me”  
“Oh right, ‘hi Catch, I know you are married and all, but I am deeply in love with you too’, perfect way to start a conversation, don’t you think?”  
“Then you know why I could never tell you about how I feel about you now. It’s the same situation isn’t it? You are getting married in a week.”  
“But you can tell me now.”  
“No, Jen. I think it is best if we drop the subject now and I left.”  
“Hell no, you are not going anywhere until we have solved this. I will not have you walk out on me like this. Not when I know you are this upset, we really have got to talk about this, Catch. I want us to be friends for life and friends do not walk out on each other. Please?”

“Then you start. If you really want to talk about this, then you tell me your story first. Tell me what you felt.”  
“W-why?”  
“See, it’s not as easy as it seems, now is it?”

“Alright, I will.” Jenna said after thinking about it for a few minutes. Why she was going to tell him now, after having it kept silent for so long, she didn’t know. It was worth it to save her friendship with Catcher. Maybe she also just wanted to come clean now, just before her wedding. She knew she wasn’t going to see him as often after it anyway. “Are you really sure you want to hear this? Because I will tell you things you have never had any idea about.”  
“Surprise me! Go on, don’t chicken out.” He said a bit agitated.  
“Hey don’t get angry with me. You started this conversation, remember?”  
“No, you did.” Catcher was getting angry, though he knew it made no sense why. It was more anger at himself than towards Jenna though. “You wanted to talk about this, then go ahead. Tell your story first and I will tell you mine afterwards.”

It took Jenna another 5 to 10 minutes before she actually started telling. She tried to figure out what to say and how, but whatever it would be, it was going to be the truth, no lies.

“You actually walked into the office on my second day there. I remember having to run into Ms. Hiller’s office to bring her one forgotten letter. When I walked out, there you were, right in front of me. I … I could not believe my eyes, remembering what guys looked like back home. When you flashed me that smile, my knees gave in and I could not believe it when you actually helped me up and asked me about my wellbeing. No one back home had ever done that for me before, they never cared if I fell flat on my face, but this man whom I had never met before did.

Immediately I knew you were a womanizer, it was obvious in your every move, but I didn’t care. I figured I would never see you again after that, so it would not really hurt if I dreamt a little, now would it? At that moment, I did not know who you were, I had heard of ‘Catcher Block’ but I had no idea what he looked like, that was until someone told me that the infamous Catcher Block had been right in front of me.”

“When I saw you again a little while later that day, your smile was gone and so was that sparkle in your eyes. I could not help but feel sorry for this person I did not even know.”

“I watched you wait for the lift, wanting to run after you and take that pain I saw in your eyes away, I watched you get in and then the doors close with you holding Ms. Brown in your arms and for some weird reason, my heart broke. My heart broke because someone I had only just seen, not even really met properly, was getting married to my boss of all people.”

“Over the next few months, my crush turned into love and even though I denied everything to everyone else, even myself for a time, I fell deeper and deeper in love with you. I didn’t understand why. I knew you were married, I knew I was no competition, I knew it would or could never ever happen.”

“In the meantime my mother introduced me to Carson, but I never paid him any attention. I was not interested in him, only you.”

“When you … _YOU_ … told me about Nancy’s pregnancy, I fell apart. I could not believe my luck, you of all people were the one to tell ME that you were going to be a father. I had never seen you happier before, you were beaming. I can still see you walk towards Ms. Brown’s office, almost running towards her, wanting to be with her so bad. That was when I knew I had to get over you.”

“I cleaned out my desk and ran home, I actually felt sick and I stayed home for a week. I never knew what had happened after I left and I only found out when I ran into Mary Litzer that morning I found you in our lobby. When I got home that Friday I rang Carson for some reason and he came over immediately, telling me he understood and he took such wonderful care of me that I realised that I was waiting for the wrong person when the right one was right in front of me. He stayed with me for an entire week, trying to help me get myself together again, holding me when I cried and trying to make me laugh again.”

“So if you look at it, I have you to thank for our wedding. If you had never told me personally that you were expecting a child, I would never have found out what a wonderful man Carson is.”

Catcher was quiet for a while. He didn’t know what to say. He always knew about her crush on him, but he never knew that she had been in love with him.

“I-I never knew you had been in love with me. I figured it was just a crush. Wh-Why have you never told me about that before?”  
“Probably the same reason why you do not want to tell me right now.”  
“I even thought that you were over it when I told you I was going to be a father.”  
“Not really, no. The opposite, really”

“How did you handle it after that?”  
“I had Carson to lean on. He held me whenever he thought I was thinking of you, tried to make me forget about you in a good way. Don’t get me wrong, I really did love Carson from the moment he came to my apartment to help me out, but that did not mean I did not think of you anymore.”

 _I know I am lying through my teeth right now, but it’s for his and my own good._

“You never thought of me anymore like that after my marriage ended?”  
“That’s what you think. The first thing that went through my mind was how typical it was; the man I had been in love with for almost a year is now single again, right when I find Carson. Couldn’t this have happened just 1 week earlier? Why did I have to call in sick and have Carson take such good care of me that I fell for him when you were breaking up with your wife?”

“Would you be with Carson now, if you found out about the end of my marriage before you found out about the pregnancy?”  
“I …”  
“No, maybe it’s better if you did not answer that after all. Either answer would not make me feel any better probably.”

“Will you tell me your story now? I told you mine, so I guess it’s only fair if you tell me yours.”

“When I think back about it now, I guess I subconsciously started feeling for you when I got divorced. Do you remember that day?”  
“How could I forget Catch? One of my best friends was going through one of the hardest parts of his life.”  
“Right. I can still hear you say the first thing you said to me when you saw me that morning. “Oh my goodness, you look awful” you gave me a hug and you told me you wished you had come over to my place the night before, to make sure I was okay. See, that is so like you, you always want to make sure I am okay. No matter how I treat you, no matter how many girls you might think I have slept with, you still are concerned about me. I love that about you.”

“You stood by me through all the hard times. You helped me get over my divorce, no matter what time it was, I could always ring you. You even stayed friends with me when you tried to tell me off when I dated all those girls. Even till the last one, the night before the divorce was final, you told me off, telling me it would not help get over Nancy sooner….”  
“What do you mean ‘the last one’?” Jenna interrupted.  
“Even though you probably still to this day think I have about 10 girlfriends, I have not dated one of them ever since that morning. I just did not enjoy dating them anymore and the fact that you kept hammering at me that I shouldn’t, helped I guess and I never dated any of them after that day.”

“I did not realise what I felt for you until that night we almost made love. To this day I still remember every kiss and every touch. I remember I didn’t sleep for days after that night. I could not understand why I had never noticed you like that before. I wanted to kick myself for not doing so sooner. And then I see you with that lo …. Sorry, with Carson and I just know I would treat you so much better.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“That I know something is wrong with him, Jen. I know he is keeping something from you and it hurts to see you trust him like that.”  
“Just like we are keeping something from him, remember?”  
“I know, I know, but I also know that what he is keeping is a lot worse than what we are keeping from him. I just don’t trust the guy. I am sorry, love.”

Catcher started pacing the room again, trying to decide what next to say.

“I still curse the day I actually told you that you should marry him. Why didn’t I say that you should tell him the truth and leave him? Why didn’t I make you fall in love with me too? Why didn’t I fight for you? But then I see you with Carson and I knew I could never do that to you, you are happy with him and that matters most.”

“I did hope that I would get over you in time, but my love only grew stronger. I dream about you every night and every night you torture me by making the sweetest love to me. Every night I wake up sweating because of what you give me in my dreams every night. Every night I feel your soft skin under mine and hear your sweet moans in my ear. Some nights it feels so real that I actually look around my bedroom to check if you really are not there.”

“I know there is no way you will leave Carson for me, especially not now. I also know I never would have told you about it if I had not drunk so much. Just please promise me you will be happy with him, as long as I know you are happy, I will be too.”

“Oh Catch.” Jenna replied and she walked over to him and gave him a hug so strong she hoped he would know what it meant. She wanted him to feel how she felt with him. Now that she knew he answered feelings she denied herself from, she was even more frustrated than ever before.

“Did it really only take a week to get me out of your system?” Catcher whispered when he tried to let Jenna go.  
“Huh?” Jenna replied, still dizzy from her hug and frustrations. “Oh, ehm, I guess so”  
“What made you stop loving me?”

Jenna did not reply, she did not know what to say. If she was honest she would tell him she never totally did, but what would Catcher say then? Could she tell him that gradually it faded? But would he then ask her when it had stopped entirely?

“Jen?”

“Love, you did get over it, didn’t you?”

Again, Jenna did not reply. She just walked away, pretending to go to the bathroom. She locked herself up for a few minutes, washing her face with ice-cold water and trying to regain her thoughts. What was she going to say now? Now he knew that she did not get over him as quickly as she made it out to be at first and to save herself; she really needed to answer him soon.

When she returned to the living room after 10 minutes, she found Catcher on her couch with his head in his hands. As soon as he heard Jenna, he looked up.

“Jen-love, please tell me you got over it? Please do not tell me you still feel something deep down”  
“Of course I got over you. I would not be getting married if I hadn’t.”  
“Really, Jenna, are you really telling me the truth? Or are you just saying it for me?”  
“C-Catch, why would I lie about something like that?”  
“Don’t avoid my question by asking one yourself, Jen, please.”

“No, I don’t love you anymore, alright. Is that what you want to hear me say? Are you happy now? I don’t love you anymore, and do you want to know why? Because I am going to marry Carson”  
“Why won’t you say you are marrying him because you love him? I don’t think I have ever heard you say you love him”  
“Of course I have, Catcher, don’t be stupid.”  
“No you haven’t, Now that I think back I am absolutely sure that you have never ever said that you love Carson.”

“Alright, I l-love h-him”  
“I don’t believe you, Jen.”  
“What? Why not?”  
“You are lying, I can see it in your eyes and you hesitated by stuttering. If you really love him it would not be so hard to say it. Listen; I love you Jenna. See, no hesitation, no stutter, pure confidence because I know it’s true.”  
“Why would I lie about that, Catcher? Why would I lie about loving my future husband? This is ridiculous”  
“You tell me, love, I don’t know.”

Jenna never replied again. She was furious with her friend. How could he accuse her of not loving Carson? Just because she never answered his former question about when she stopped loving Catcher? She did not hesitate, maybe it came out like a stutter…..

“You know what? Maybe it’s time for me to go home. It’s getting late and you need some sleep or else your mother will harm me. Maybe you should also think about what I said, love. Also pay some attention to Carson when he goes away to his friends, I don’t think he is actually visiting a bunch of them, just one!”  
“There is nothing to think about, Catch. I love him and I will marry him next week. And as long as you do not have any proof that I ‘should not trust him’ like you said, I will marry him.”

“Right!” Catcher answered with hurt in his voice. He got up and put his coat back on.

“Maybe I should not come next week. I don’t think I want to watch you make a big mistake. I know now that you do not love him, Jen, and I also know he is lying to you. Bye love.”

Before Jenna could even answer his remark, Catcher opened the door to Jenna’s apartment and walked out without looking back.

Jenna fell to the floor, crying, apparently so loud that Mr. Mister woke up and came to comfort Jenna by crawling on her lap and started purring. Jenna held her little friend tightly, crying in his fur. There were only 3 people (and one cat) on this entire planet she thought she could always count on and one of them just walked out on her. What was she going to do now? Would he really not come to her wedding?

 _He has to come! Please, Catch, I don’t think I can do this without your support. I really need you there. I need you to tell me I am doing the right thing, just like you did when you told me I should marry Carson. What am I going to do without you?_

After what seemed like hours, Jenna somehow made it to her bedroom and her mattress on the floor. She wasn’t bothered with undressing herself, she just lay down and cried. All she could think about were Catcher’s words. Was he really right? Did she really love Carson? Was she really over Catcher? Was she really lying to herself?

Had she really never said that she loved Carson? She must have done that? She would have to ask Stacey about that. She was sure that Stacey would back her up on that. But, when she thought more of it she realised that Catcher had been right; she had never told anyone, including Carson, that she loved him. When they first started dating she thought that it was too soon to tell him, but later on she also never said so. Why not?

What had Catcher meant when he said that Carson was hiding something from her? What did he mean when he said that Carson was lying to her? What did he mean when he said he would treat her so much better? She had always thought that even though Carson could be a little more attentive to her, he never really treated her bad, right?

When dawn broke, Jenna was still awake, still trying to go over everything that had happened a few hours earlier. She had tried to find answers to the hundreds of questions she had asked herself since Catcher had left, but so far she had only raised more questions and never even answered one. She gave up on trying to get some sleep and was now pacing in her living room, which was a pretty difficult task with all those boxes stacked everywhere.

She knew it was too early to call either Stacey or Catcher so she stayed away from her phone as far as she could. She just knew that she would pick it up and phone one of the two immediately. Then more questions popped into her head; would Catcher even answer his phone if she phoned him? Would he talk to her if he was to pick up? What would he say to her if he answered his phone?

After another 2 hours of pacing her floors, she finally picked up the phone and dialled Stacey. She was going crazy from trying to figure out what to do now and she knew the only person that could help her was Stace. Maybe she could help her answer some of the questions Catcher had asked her and which she had since then come up with.

“Good morning, Stacey Adams speaking.”  
“Stace, I need your help.”


	30. Subchapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Subchapter 3**

 **Catcher’s POV**

“What have I done? Why did I leave? Why did I walk away from her?”

It has been 3 days since he walked away from Jenna and he had not slept a wink since. Not only would he not have been able to had he tried, but he also did not allow himself to. He was furious with himself for what he had done, for what he had said and most of all for walking out of her apartment without giving Jenna a chance to respond.

He had picked up the telephone to phone her so many times he could not even count anymore, but every time he hung up before he finished dialling her number. He was afraid that she would not answer anyway and if she would, would she say anything? Or if she would say anything; what would she say? How angry would she be with him? He would understand if she would never forgive him, heck, he would never forgive himself.

Would she already have left her apartment? She was supposed to leave on Monday, that was two days ago. Would she have told Carson? Or Stacey and Joe? Maybe even her parents? Even if he would unexpectedly show up at the wedding, he would probably be sent away by her friends and family, again he could not blame them.

He had done the worst thing a friend could do to another friend; he had walked out on her. He had walked out without giving Jenna a chance to explain herself to him. He had seen she wanted to reply to his accusations, but he never even gave her a chance. He just left her there!

He had heard a heavy thud behind the door he had just left through and then he had heard her starting to cry. It had broken his heart to hear her like that, but at that moment he had been so extremely furious that he had ignored it. He had even forgotten to take his tuxedo with him. He only realised this morning that it still hung in her bathroom, if Jenna had not thrown it away by now.

When he got to his apartment after he left Jenna, he had smashed a very expensive vase against the wall, just to get rid of some of his frustration. After that he paced the living room floor like a madman for at least an hour, trying to get himself under control again. When he was finally too tired to keep pacing, he finally realised that he had heard Jenna cry when he left her. Of course he had heard it when he left, but because of his anger, he had not ‘heard’ it.

He had actually made her cry, something that he had never in his whole life wanted to do. How could he have made the woman he loved cry? He had run back to her apartment, but when he stood outside her door he chickened out. He was too scared to face the possibility that she would never want to see him again. He knew he had to make it up to her, but maybe he should wait until she was married. And when he would do so, he had to make it up good.

That was now 3 days ago and he still had not found one good idea to show Jenna how sorry he was for walking out on her. The best idea he had had so far was to go over there with a huge bouquet with her favourite flowers and beg her on his knees to forgive him, that he wasn’t thinking when he left. But she would never buy that from him, maybe from Carson but not from him.

Maybe …. Maybe he could try to find out what the problem with Carson was. He could phone his detective and have him follow Carson around for a while. But if Catcher was wrong and Jenna ever found out, Jenna would definitely never want to have anything to do with him ever again.

But why would Jenna stay with someone she did not love? Why didn’t she just leave him? Parts of that night’s conversation returned to him : _, tried to make me forget about you… but that did not mean I did not think of you anymore… the man I had been in love with for almost a year is now single again…Why did I have to call in sick… when you were breaking up with your wife?..._

Wait a minute… Had she actually said she regretted calling in sick? She HAD said she had thought of Catcher even after she started going out with Carson. When he had made her answer his question if she was over him or not, she had denied him of an answer at first. But then she had said what he had dreaded to hear; _“No, I don’t love you anymore, alright.”_ She had said it; she did not love him anymore! That was when everything went black for a few seconds, he knew she had something after that, but he could not entirely remember what it was.

 _Focus, man. Focus on what she said. You know you can remember if you try! Something about me being happy…._ Are you happy now? _... But she also said something before that…. What had she said before that?_

After Catcher’s headache had grown to such immense pain he could not think straight anymore, he gave up for that moment to try and remember what it could have been Jenna had said. He was sure he would remember soon; he had to.

As he finally allowed himself to get some sleep, he closed his eyes to see a smiling Jenna. She walked towards him in that sexy way she did and closed her arms around him. His entire sleep he had dreamed of nothing else but making love to her and holding her in his arms while he told her how much he loved her over and over again.

The next morning he woke to the ringing of his doorbell. On the other side of the door he found his brother!

“Hoyt? What are you doing here?”  
“Why aren’t you at work? I have been trying to reach you there for 3 days now. This morning finally I get an answer that since you have not been in contact with the office for three days; you will probably be off sick. Now, I would not be worried at all had I gotten through to your home telephone line, BUT the line has been busy ever since Monday morning!!! I have also tried to contact Jenna, maybe she would know where you were, but her phone is also busy and I do not know the number to her parent’s.”

Catcher did not answer, but walked straight to the kitchen to make some coffee.

“That bad? What is wrong, Catch? Is Jenna’s wedding really affecting you this much?”  
“Don’t bother”  
“What happened, Catch?”  
“Nothing, I just made the worst mistake of my life. At least I don’t have to worry about being at her wedding on time.”  
“ _What happened, Catch?_ ” Hoyt asked his brother for the third time.  
“It’s a very long story, b…”  
“I have time; Carry knows I am here and that I would not leave until I knew what was going on. I don’t care if it takes me all night to find out!” He interrupted.  
“I … I walked out on her!”  
“Who? When? Why?”  
“Jenna…”  
“Why did you walk out on Jenna? Catch, if you are expecting me to understand it all, you are going to have to tell me a bit more.”  
“I walked out on Jenna after I found out she doesn’t love Carson.”  
“Again, I have a feeling I am missing something.”

And Catcher told Hoyt the whole story, about how he told Jenna he was in love with her (something Hoyt was very pleased about, Catcher had never even officially admitted this to anyone, even though everyone knew!), about Jenna telling Catcher she had once been in love with him too, about Catcher telling Jenna he did not trust Carson, about Jenna getting angry because of his accusations, about Jenna not wanting to say she was in love with Carson and when she finally did Catcher’s world fell apart, about him asking her if she was over him and how he had walked out on Jenna when she got angry when he accused her of not loving Carson and finally about how he had heard her cry when he walked away.

“You do know you are a bastard, right?”  
“I know! Don’t worry, I know!”  
“You also know you have to talk to her and make it up to her, right?”  
“I know, though I have no idea how I am going to do that. Can you help me, please?”  
“I think that you should figure that out yourself, Catch.”  
“That is what I have been trying to do for the last 4 days and it’s not really working.”  
“Have you tried to actually contact her?”  
“I have tried so many times I have lost count. But every time I chickened out and hung up before I finished dialling her number. Seriously Hoyt, I really do need help. I am asking you for help.”  
“So this is what it feels like… The infamous Catcher Block ‘ladies man, mans man, man about town’ is asking ME for help with the ladies… Feels good.”  
“Oh yes, har har, very funny.”  
“I am sorry, but you were asking for it. Of course I will help, we have been waiting for this for a long time now.”  
“What? You have been waiting for me to ask you for help with women?”  
“No, we have been waiting for you to finally admit your true feelings towards Jenna. I have no idea what took you so damn long.”  
“You knew?”  
“Everyone who is still alive knows, I have even tried to tell you numerous of times, but you would never listen.”

“What am I going to do? I know she does not love Carson, she told me that, but somehow she still does want to marry the bastard. I _have_ thought about actually calling that detective I usually hire to find out more about Carson, but what if I am wrong about him? What if he _is_ honest? If Jenna would find out about what I did, she will still never want to speak to me again and that is the opposite from what I want.”  
“It’s not a bad idea, but do you think he will actually find something within 2 days? If you would want it to work, it has to be done before Saturday, before the wedding.”  
“I will just tell him he has to.”

Catcher picked up the telephone and dialled the number to the detective agency. He explained everything and told him the importance of the case. He just hoped he didn’t make another huge mistake.

No, he did not make a mistake, he knew he was right. He had seen it in Carson’s eyes; he was either holding something back or lying about something and Catcher was going to find out what. He was already almost 100% sure that the bastard was cheating on Jenna, he just needed proof. He needed to prove to Jenna that his suspicions about Carson were right. Even if it was just that; proving his suspicions, just like Jenna had told him to: _“and as long as you do not have any proof that I ‘should not trust him’ like you said, I will marry him.”_

“Are you really not going to the wedding? As long as you don’t hear anything from that guy yet, it might even be for the best that you don’t. They might not be too happy to see you.”  
“I can’t really blame them, can I? I have thought about maybe slipping inside when everyone is already seated, watch the ceremony and leave before they spot me. I have made a promise to her that I would be there and I don’t like to break that promise, even if she is making a mistake.”  
“You could come with us, we are going too. If she only sees our car, she will not know you are there too.”  
“That is so like her to invite you too.”

“I still don’t know what to do to make her forgive me.” After dinner, Catcher poured a scotch for both of them and he sat down heavy on the couch. “How can I make her forgive me, even though she has every right never to do so?”  
“First you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I have had it with ‘she has every right to never forgive me’ ‘What have I done?’ and ‘I would not blame her if she never ever wanted to speak to me again’. If you truly love her and want her to be your wife one day, you have to change that attitude you have right now around and think of how wonderful it will be once she _does_ forgive you. I know she will, you just wait and see.”  
“But how _do_ you know?”  
“Are you kidding me? Do you really not see it?”  
“See what?”  
“Oh no, if you do not see it, I will not point it out. You will just have to find out yourself. Consider that your punishment for your stupid behaviour.”

“Which tux are you going to wear? Have you picked it up from the dry-cleaners yet or is it in your closet?”  
“It’s actually still at Jenna’s apartment. I forgot to take it with me when I stormed out.”  
“What is it doing there? Where you two living together?”  
“No, we had actually picked it up earlier that day. I bought it when she picked up her dress.”  
“You mean you actually saw her wedding dress? Before the wedding?”  
“Yes I did and I can tell you that I have never seen a more beautiful bride than I did Saturday. The dress she will wear is perfect for her. I actually could not believe my eyes when she walked around in it. That is another reason why I really need to be there Saturday, I have to see her wear it again.”  
“You really have it bad, don’t you? I am so happy for you, you know that? And don’t you worry, little brother, I promise you that she will be at your side very soon.”  
“I cannot wait for that day.”  
“But does this mean you do not have a tux now? Or will you use one of your old ones?”  
“No way am I wearing any one of those. I told her that I don’t want to wear one I have worn to dates before and I am keeping myself to that. I will just have to pick it up.”  
“How are you going to do that?”  
“Easy, I have a spare key.”

~

The next morning, Catcher went over to what used to be Jenna’s apartment. When he entered, he found out that they had already moved most of her things to her new home. Everything except a few things was gone. Her mattress was still there, her telephone (but that would probably be picked up by the telephone company soon) and her couch was also still there. He made his way towards the bathroom where he had hung his suit.

It was the only thing left in the bathroom, nothing that could possibly remind him of Jenna was left behind in the small room, not even a hair on the floor or an old toothbrush, nothing. His suite still hung there all alone, just like he left it there last Saturday. When he took it, he found the only thing that was left behind; her smell. It smelled like Jenna, as if she was right there with him in the tiny bathroom.

He sat down on the ground without doing anything. He just tried to smell as much as he could. When he closed his eyes, he pretended she was there, making fun of him. Telling him to stop acting like a lunatic and get up. When he looked at his tux again, he noticed something sticking out of his front pocket of the jacket. It looked like a piece of paper.

When he took it out, he found a picture of Jenna and himself. It was the picture he had hidden in the frame he gave her for Christmas. He never knew she had found it, because she had never talked about it. Right now it looked old and worn, as if she had looked at it a lot.

How did it get there? Would she have put it there? Of course she would not have, not after the way he had treated her. When he turned the picture around, he found some handwriting on it. All it said was **“Saturday, 11.00 don’t be too late”** It looked like female writing, but not Jenna’s, he knew her handwriting. Must have been Stacey’s then. But what did she mean by ‘don’t be _too_ late’? Would she know how he felt about Jenna? How could she possibly have known he was going to be here? He had only decided to pick up his clothes last night, how could anyone have known before then that he was going to be here?

 _“Everyone who is still alive knows”_ His brother’s words came back to him. Had Stacey also known? Would Jenna have known too? No, she hadn’t, he had seen the surprise in her eyes when he had told her about his feelings. She hadn’t had a clue he felt that way.

But, shouldn’t a best friend support her friend through everything? Instead this note made it seem as if she really did not want Jenna to marry Carson. Stacey never made a secret of it that she hated Carson, but he could not believe she would actually do something like this.

He sat there staring at the picture of him with Jenna for what felt like ages, when all of a sudden he heard the words he could not remember a few days ago. He finally remembered what Jenna had said when he blacked out in rage: _“Is that what you want to hear me say?_ She had not admitted that she did not love him anymore, she had said: _I don’t love you anymore, is that what you want to hear me say?_ She had actually told him she loved him! Probably without realising herself too!

Oh no, what had he done? He had run out on her after she had admitted her true feelings for him. How could he have been so incredibly stupid? If only he had paid better attention instead of feeling so sorry for himself because he thought his feelings weren’t answered, he would maybe have held the woman he loved most in his arms right now.

He ran towards the telephone and phoned his brother who had gone back home that morning.

“Hoyt? It’s me, Catcher. Make sure you pick me up on time tomorrow morning, I am coming with you guys and I am going to tell her face to face she is making a huge mistake by marrying Carson.”  
“Catch, don’t!”  
“Hoyt, I know who she is really in love with.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I finally remember what she said to me when I asked her if she was really over me. She said “I don’t love you anymore, _Is that what you want to hear me say?”_ She never said she didn’t, she just asked me if that was what I wanted to hear. If I had heard her say that instead of going crazy inside my head, I could have stopped her marrying that bastard straight away and have her in MY arms instead.”  
“I knew you would realise it one day.”  
“Was that what you wouldn’t tell me the yesterday?”  
“That is what I have been trying to make you see ever since you introduced me to her. Carry has been trying to fix you up ever since, but since you two were both too stubborn to open up your eyes and face reality, it never worked. But now, at least 1 out of 2 found out the truth, maybe the other will find out soon enough too. I will see you in the morning, brother. Now get some sleep, you have a big day tomorrow.”  
“That’s easier said then done, I probably will not sleep a wink tonight.”

But he could not have been more wrong. After he had hung up on his brother, he walked around Jenna’s old apartment a little while longer and made his way towards her old bedroom where the mattress to her old bed still was. He sat down for a while and took out the picture again.

The next thing he knew, he woke up in bright daylight to the noises that were so typical to New York. Where was he? When he focussed his eyes, he found himself on the mattress he sat down on the night before in Jenna’s apartment. He must have dosed off for a minute.

But before he had dosed off, it was already dark outside! That must mean it was already MORNING!

 _Oh, dear lord, what time is it? WHAT????? It’s already after 9 am and Jenna is getting married at 11.30. How on earth am I going to make it in time? I still have to get dressed, shave, pick up flowers and drive at least 2 hours._

Catcher jumped up, put on his tux in record time, took the picture of them together and stormed out of the apartment. He ran to his parked car, not bothering to take the top down on this sunny day and tried to race out of the city.

 _Of course! Just my luck to have late traffic this morning. It’s already 10 am and I only have an hour and a half left before Jenna’s doom. I haven’t even had a chance to get in touch with that detective yet._

On his way to the chapel, Catcher tried to think of things to say to Jenna once he was facing her. He couldn’t think of anything. The best he had come up with was; ‘please don’t marry a bastard, pick me!’ He was a renowned writer for crying out loud and he could not even come up with anything? But what do you say to the woman of your dreams? He could not use any of his old lines, that would be too horrible to even joke about at a time like that.

She would know it was a line anyway, she knew everything about him. She knew things about him that he had never even told Nancy about when they were still married. Even before he realised his true feelings for her he had never tried to hide anything from her. She even knew how much money he had on his bank account. But he also knew so much about her, so much that he knew she had never told Carson about. He should have seen it then. At least a tiny bell should have rung when she told him that, for instance, she had never told Carson that she hadn’t known what ‘French kissing’ meant until Stacey told her when they were 14. Or that she was saving up for a television set, but used the money instead to pay for her wedding. Or that she had a savings account that she had not touched ever since she was 15, but still made out money to every month. She had told Catcher she wanted to save it for a little while longer and use it when she either really needed it (for children’s school tuition for example).

After more than 2 hours, he finally arrived at the chapel. But he found he was already too late. People were already leaving the chapel and judging by their faces, the ceremony had been beautiful. When he got out he heard phrases like “I have never seen her so radiant in my life” and “they are such a beautiful couple”.

He could not believe it; he really was too late. The woman he loved more than life itself was married to the man he hated the most.


	31. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 27**

“Good morning, Stacey Adams speaking.”  
“Stace, I need your help.”  
“What is wrong? Are you alright?”   
“He’s in love with me!”  
“I am coming over right now. Don’t know how, but I will. Don’t you dare move.”

And without giving Jenna a chance to answer, Stacey hung up the phone. It was the second time in 12 hours that someone did not give Jenna a chance to reply and it only infuriated her more. She knew Stacey meant well, but she did not even give a chance to say ‘goodbye’ or ‘I will see you in a bit then’. Why was it so hard for people to actually wait for someone to answer? What if Jenna had wanted to tell Stace that she was already at her parent’s place? No, she probably would have known because her mother would have ordered her over immediately, if not through her, it would have been through Joey.

What was she going to do now? She wasn’t mad at Catcher anymore. He only reacted this way because he told her what she has known deep down too; she was not in love with Carson. But then, why was she still going to marry him in a week? Why is she going to torture herself for the rest of her life by spending it with someone she is not in love with?

Was she then really in love with Catcher still? Was she really still not over him? Of course, she had to be over him. She just thought she still felt that way because of those tormenting dreams every night. But … why did she have _those_ anyway? Why _does_ she dream of making love to Catcher every night? And _why_ does she call it ‘making love’ instead of ‘having sex’ just like she calls it when she thinks of Carson?

She had even asked him to that night; ‘make love to me, Catch’ she had said. But whenever she talked about Carson, she always refers to it as ‘having sex’ or ‘doing it’. She has never _ever_ referred to sex with Carson as ‘making love’.

What was she doing? Was she about to make the biggest mistake in her life? Surely she would start loving her husband someday? Surely she also wasn’t the first person who did not love their future husband yet? She was sure that it happens all the time and that in due time she would start loving him in her own way.

But what was she going to do about Catcher? She did not want him out of her life, she couldn’t think of one without him in it. She needed his friendship in her life. But right now, she did not see it happening anymore either. He had walked out on her and he was probably never coming back again. He had asked her a simple question and she had denied him of a truthful answer.

But then again, he had also accused her fiancé of lying to her without giving her actual proof. What would he be lying about? Why would he lie to her anyway? What would he be hiding from her? She hadn’t the guts to phone Catcher now and ask him about it. He would still probably not want to talk to her anyway.

Would Stacey know what Catcher meant? Stacey and Catcher both feel the same way about Carson; they hate him. But why? So far they had both always refused to answer her when she asked them about it. Telling her that she needed to find that out herself before they would say why. Maybe she should force Stacey to tell her why this time. She needed to understand what Catcher had meant when he talked about Carson lying.

Again she asked herself the question she had been asking herself ever since she closed the door that night; what is she going to do now? Was she going to go through with the wedding? Was she going to talk to Carson about it? Would she ever speak to Catcher again? Would he ever forgive her? What was taking Stacey so long? Why wasn’t she here yet?

At least one of her questions could be answered; it had only been an hour since she had phoned Stacey, it would be impossible for her to get here this soon. It would be at least another hour before the doorbell would ring. Another question arose; how would she get here anyway? If Joey would drive her, what would she have told her mother why she wanted to go over there? Would Joey then be here too? Would she feel comfortable talking to him too?

She had still not told anyone about her night with Catcher. She was supposed to during that weekend shopping for lingerie, but they never got to it. They had talked about so many other things that they had completely forgotten until Stacey was about to go home. “We will talk soon about it. I know it is bothering you, but you also still have difficulty talking about it” Stacey had told her. That was why she loved her friend so much; she always understood her. She never complained when Jenna was not able to tell her something.

But now she would probably not have a choice anymore; she was going to have to tell her about that night. If not, Stacey would never understand the whole story. But if Joey would be there, would she still be able to tell the story entirely? She had always been able to tell her little brother everything, if there was anything bothering Jenna, she usually told the story twice; once to her best friend and once to her brother. They both gave her advice that was usually almost identical and then she would follow up on their advice and she would feel a lot better.

She decided to clean herself up a bit, she must look a mess. When she got to her bathroom she found Catcher’s suite still hanging there. Another wave of tears threatened to spill as she walked over to the beautiful black suite. She touched the sleeves of the jacket and smelled at them; it smelled so typical like Catcher, even if he had only worn it for that short time.

She took the jacket off the hanger and put it on, hugging it close as if Catcher was hugging her himself. Jenna walked around like that for a while, not really wanting to take the jacket off again. She knew she had to, she was sure he would come and pick up his suite this week. Not that he was going to need it any day soon, but just because he had forgotten something that was his.

When she finally took the jacket off, she freshened herself up and got dressed. Not too long after that, the doorbell rung and two very worried looking faces stood at the other side of the door. Jenna couldn’t keep the tears anymore and started crying again.

“What happened, Jen? What did the bastard do to you?” Joey asked her.  
“No, I told you, it has nothing to do with him. It has to do with Catcher.” Stacey replied.

It took Jenna another 10 minutes before she was even remotely able to answer any questions she was asked. She took the mug of coffee from her brother and thought about what she was going to say to her 2 friends. Stacey kept stroking her hair and when Joey sat down again he took her hand in his again like he had done all the while she had cried.

“Are you ready to talk about it now?”  
“I guess. If I don’t do it now, I know I never will.”  
“Then can you tell me what you meant with ‘he’s in love with me’? You are talking about Catcher, right?”  
“Yes” Jenna whispered.  
“So he finally told you?”  
“What? You knew?”  
“Sweetheart, even blind people could see _that_. But what made him tell you? What happened?”  
“We had gone out yesterday, you know as a goodbye to New York and we had both quite a bit to drink and when we got back here he asked me if I was really ready and if I was not secretly still holding feelings for old boyfriends or something and then I asked him what he meant by that. He then whispered that he was maybe holding on to something he knew could never happen or something and when I asked him again what he meant he just told me. He told me he was in love with me!”  
“But that is not the entire story, if it was, you would not be in tears right now and Catcher would probably also be here. Where is he anyway?”  
“He … he walked out on me!”  
“He WHAT? Why? Jenna, what happened?”  
“He walked out on me after he accused me of not loving Carson.”  
“WHAT?” Stacey jelled again.  
“Stace, I think there is a whole lot more to this story, so before you rip off any heads, please let her finish her entire story. Jen? I think you should start from the beginning, we both will not understand a word from what happened if you only tell us little parts.”

And she then told the entire story, of how she tried to get Catcher to talk about it when he didn’t want to, about how she had told him about her feelings, of how he told her how he felt about her, about his accusations of Carson lying to her and she even told them that he also accused Jenna of not loving Carson at all. She then continued telling her friends how Catcher turned angry when she apparently did not answer him straight away when he asked her if she was truly over Catcher, of how he then walked out of her apartment because he did not believe she truly loved Carson and that she was making a big mistake.

“But I still have this feeling you are leaving something out. How come I have this feeling that there is more to this story from Catcher’s point of view? Jen, what happened to you a few months ago? Did something happen?”  
“What do you mean by that? Why would you think something happened between them? Of course not.” Joey interrupted Stacey before Jenna could answer.  
“Because she is right. Because something did happen a few months ago. I only never had the guts to tell her about it.”  
“W-huh? Bu…huh?”  
“Will you tell me now, Jen? Are you ready to tell me now, or would you rather still keep it to yourself? In a way I would understand, but I think it’s time for you to get it off your chest now. Or else you will never get over it.”   
“But please promise me you will not get angry. I guess I need some support right now.”  
“I promise.” Stacey told her and then poked Joey in his ribs, nudging him to say the same.  
“I guess I promise too.”

“That night I had one of the worst nightmares in history. Normally I just rang Catch and he would help me through it, help me to calm down again and help me fall asleep again. But that night my nightmare was so awful that instead of helping me through it by phone, he decided to come over. He knew it would not work by phone this time.”  
“What do you mean ‘this time’? Have you had nightmares bef…. Hang on, are you talking about that nightmare you had when you were at home during Christmas? Have you had more of those? All still Carson cheating on you?”  
“Yep”  
“Have they ever stopped?”  
“They haven’t. I still have them at least once a week. I have learned to cope with them now, but I didn’t know how to back then.”  
“But why haven’t you ever told me about them anymore?” Stacey asked, almost hurt.  
“Because I was tired of talking about them, because I figured you would be too. Like I said, I have learned to cope with them now. I haven’t told anyone I still have them for 4 months now.”  
“Not even Catcher?”  
“Especially not Catch. If I would have told him about them, he would make me call him in the middle of the night again and he would keep worrying and they are not worth it. All I want is to forget about them and by talking about them I will not be able to.”  
“Makes sense, I guess. But I still would have liked to have known you still had those awful nightmares. Maybe I could have done something about them.”  
“Like what? There is nothing you _can_ do about them, Stace. I really do appreciate your help, I really do, I wish you _could_ help me with this, but no one can. Besides, I am sure they will stop next week anyway.”  
“What makes you think that?” Joey asked her  
“Because I am sure that the only reason why I am having these nightmares is because of me saving myself for marriage. This is quite frustrating for both myself and Carson and I guess my conscious is trying to make me feel guilty and thus I have nightmares.”  
“That is stupid, sis. That makes no sense what-so-ever.”  
“Just you wait, little brother. Ask me again in a few weeks time if I have had any nightmares, I am almost positive that I can tell you that I have not had one since.”

“But we are getting off track, Jen. You were telling us about Catcher coming over to calm you down after that nightmare.”  
“Right. Ehm… where was I?... Right, he came over immediately and we just talked about what happened this time.”

And then Jenna went all quiet again. She did not know how to tell her friend and her brother what happened next. What were they going to think about her after she would? And on top of that, the thought of talking about her … not sex-life, she hadn’t had that yet … love-life? The thought of talking about what she had done with Catcher was just too weird.

“Jen? What’s the matter? Why won’t you continue? Nothing bad happened, right?”  
“No, don’t worry, Stace. I just don’t know how to tell you. I mean, it’s not really something you will expect to hear from _me_.”  
“Have you slept with him?” Joey just asked her bluntly, with no trace of awkwardness.  
“NO, no of course not. I-I told you I am still saving myself for marriage. I just told you this.”  
“Then did you almost sleep with him?” He asked her.

That was when Jenna went quiet again. The blush on her face told Stacey and Joey enough to know the answer.

“Really?” Stacey screamed excitedly “Oh my, please tell me all. How was it? Was he as good as I think he is?”  
“Ahem, I am sitting right here you know.” Joey commented.  
“Oh, come on Joe, you know there is no need for jealousy, I love you remember? I am just curious, that is all.”  
“It was …. Different … I guess”  
“You mean he actually did things right?” Stacey could not help but comment on Jenna’s earlier stories that she wasn’t too comfortable with Carson’s ways of making out, especially Jenna’s stories of Carson’s ‘poking’ still stood out in her memory.  
Joey looked amazed at his girlfriend again; he could not believe she had actually asked her this. But then again, he had no idea what Jenna had told her friend about her sex-life.  
“Don’t you look at me like that, Joey; I know what I am talking about. Jenna knows _exactly_ what I meant with that remark. You know what Jen? Maybe we should talk about _that_ later, when we are alone. But we still do need to talk about what you are going to do now. Do you have any idea yet?”  
“I don’t think there is anything I _can_ do. Catcher doesn’t want to see me anymore and I am moving home tomorrow to get married next week. What _can_ I do?”  
“ _Not_ marry Carson, leave him immediately, call Catcher and tell him how you really feel about him.”   
“So you are also convinced I do not love Carson?”  
“Just as convinced as I am that the sun will set tonight and rise again tomorrow. I am so sorry to say it like this, but I have thought so for such a long time and now I am certain of it. I can see it in your eyes. I can also see what you really still feel for Catcher and you would be a fool to let him get away.”  
“But Sta…”  
“No buts, sweetie, just be honest with yourself for once and admit that I am telling you the truth.”  
“No, you are not. Not entirely anyway. I might not love Carson yet like you love my brother, but I am sure that I will one day.”  
“Sweetie, listen to you; ‘I am sure I will one day’???? Why settle for less when you could have true love right now?”   
“Because, from the start, I have set my standards way too high and I still need to learn to lower them. I have always believed in this fairytale of butterflies and weak knees, but I know that that does not exist, not for me anyway and I am okay with that. I do love Carson in my own way and I know I will learn to love him for real one day.”

Both Joey and Stacey did not know what to say. They both knew that what Jenna had just said made no sense and that she was making a huge mistake. Butterflies and weak knees were no fairytale; they both feel like that every time they see each other.

“Sweetie, I need to talk to Jenna alone for a while. I need to find out what happened exactly when she was with Catcher and I don’t think she is comfortable enough for her brother to hear. Would you mind getting us something to eat or something?”  
“Of course I don’t mind. As much as I love my sister, I don’t really think I want to hear about her sex-life. Please make her see she does love Catcher.” He whispered the last part, not wanting Jenna to hear, he did not want her to freak out about everyone wanting to open her eyes right now. Right now, Jenna needed a friend to talk to more than an eye-opener. They still had one week left for that. He left immediately, giving Jenna and Stacey a chance to talk in private.

“Before we will figure out what we are going to do now, I want to know _everything_ that happened that night. Don’t you dare leave _anything_ out, do you hear me?”  
“Everything?”  
“JENNA! You are stalling, start telling me. What was the first kiss like? Who initiated it? Where did that happen? What happened next? How far did you go? Did you…”  
“I get it, _everything_. But if you want to know BEFORE Joey gets back, you better give me a _chance_ to tell you.”  
“Then what are you waiting for?”  
“Alright, it started when we said goodbye. He was going to go home after he calmed me down enough for me to be able to sleep again. We kissed each other goodbye like we always do, but then started talking again, we kissed goodbye again and this repeated a few times even. I don’t know what happened but when we kissed goodbye that final time, we just never let go of each other. Catcher walked me back inside and closed the door without letting go of me.”

Jenna told everything in detail, even that she had had her very first orgasm ever. Stacey grinned from ear to ear and knew that Jenna just gave away that she would never ever love Carson but that she was meant for Catcher. That night with Catcher Jenna had forgotten about her resolve to stay a virgin till her wedding-day, something that Carson never managed to do. Without realising, Jenna told Stacey how much she had enjoyed kissing Catcher, touching him and how she desired for more.

Jenna continued to tell about the alarm clock and how that actually worked as a wake-up call for both of them. She told Stacey about the conversation that followed and the weeks that followed after that.

“You do realise you just answered your own questions and worries, right?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Sweetie, you are so much in love with Catcher, you just will not admit it to yourself. You have just spent over an hour telling me in detail what had happened that night. I am sure that if you really regretted it that you could have told me all in 10 minutes. Why are you torturing yourself so much, when you could live the fairytale story? They do exist, did you know that? I still feel butterflies in my stomach every time I see your brother.”  
“No, it’s too late now. I will marry Carson in a week, I can’t do that to him.”  
“But then you are not only lying to yourself, but also to Carson. Doesn’t he have a right to know you do not love him at all?”  
“But I _do_ love him, I told you that. I just love him in my own way and one day I will love him like a wife is supposed to love a husband. You are making it sound like I am using him, but that is not true.”  
“Isn’t it?”  
“I know it isn’t right that I don’t love him the way I should, but I can guarantee you that I am not using him. That would be a very cruel thing to do and Carson does not deserve that. He deserves a woman who loves him and stands by him and I am going to be that woman.”  
“Even though you are lying to him and to yourself?”  
“I am not lying to him. I would be lying if I would not feel anything for him, yet stay with him anyway because I like living off him, but that is not true. I have my own job and I will keep it for as long as I can. That will probably be when I get pregnant.”

After Joey returned with lunch they all ate in silence. All three of them were trying to form words in their heads for the conversation they were all dreading to have. Joey and Stacey knew that they had to make Jenna see what they already knew for so long. Jenna on the other hand needed to make Stacey and Joey see that her only option was to marry Carson. There was no point in trying to convince them she was madly in love with him, but she had no other choice right now. She was sure that in a while they would see too that she made the right decision, but right now she needed to show them that.

All afternoon they talked about what to do and what both parties felt that the other party needed to see and realise, but at the end of the day nothing had changed. Jenna still tried to make Joey and Stacey believe that what she was doing was the right thing to do and Joey and Stacey still tried to open Jenna’s eyes and make her see that she was marrying the wrong person.

“Can I ask you guys something? And will you also answer me truthfully now?” Jenna hesitated a few seconds, not sure if she really wanted an answer to her question to follow “Why do you hate Carson so much?”  
“Sweetie, I would love to answer that question but are you really sure you want us to?”  
“I don’t know, but I do know that there has got to be a reason why my three best friends hate my future husband so much. If you know something about him that I will not like, I guess I would like to know about it.”  
“Even if it is horrible to hear and you might even change your mind about marrying him?” Joey asked her.  
“Hey, that might not be such a bad idea, maybe we should tell her all. Then she will cancel her wedding and hopefully realise that she is meant for someone else.” Stacey replied.  
“I will not cancel a wedding, Stace. I will still marry Carson. Unless he killed someone and I will _not_ believe _that_.”

“We just don’t trust him, that is all. He is hiding something from you and we both fear that you are not going to like what he is hiding from you.”  
“Catcher said something just like that and just like him, you are not telling me what you fear he is hiding from me.”  
“That is because we do not have any proof and we can’t accuse him of something we can’t prove. On top of that, I do not like the way he treats you, sis. He doesn’t respect you for the woman you really are. He wants a wife who stays home and raises his kids, not a woman who has a job and someday will think of having a family. He wants to come home at night and find dinner already on the table, not going out to restaurants at least once a week. He wants a dog, a son at baseball practice and every weekend out with his friends. Jenna, you are not that type of woman. You want your independence, a job, going out with your husband, stuff like that.”  
“If I didn’t like anything he wants in life, I would not marry him. I thought I tried to tell you this all day. Why won’t you believe me?”  
“Because you don’t even believe yourself, honey. As long as you don’t even believe what you are trying to tell yourself, we will not either. All we are trying to do is open your eyes and make you see what we see.”

It took Jenna another 2 hours to make Joey and Stacey give up on trying to get Jenna to see things from their point of view. They decided to get some rest and drive home the next day.

That next morning they got up early and packed up everything they could put in the pick-up. Jenna’s father also came and brought a small truck he borrowed and they put all the remaining things in there. Jenna took one last look into her apartment and sniffed Catcher’s tuxedo one last time, picked up Mr. Mister and walked out. She felt her pockets to make sure she had the picture of her with Catcher she had only found after Catcher had walked out of her.

When she sat down on her bed that night, she had picked up the picture of her with Carson and only then she noticed that there was a little piece of thick paper sticking out of the frame at the back. She figured that she must have closed the frame wrongly when she put the picture in there the first time round. When she tried to put it right, she noticed that it was not just a piece of paper, but actually a picture of her and Catcher.

When she took it out of the frame, she broke down again. Crying tears she had hoped she would not cry over him anymore. All night she had held the picture and only put it down when she got out of bed after she realised she would not sleep at all anymore.

When she fumbled in her coat, she found it not there. When she walked back into her now empty apartment, she noticed that Stacey was writing something on a small piece of paper, but she would not show what it was.

“Come on, Jen. Let’s go. There is nothing left here, only memories.”

 _I must have packed it in a suitcase then. I am sure I will find it when I unpack everything in my new house._

She could not believe she was moving out of her first apartment already. She had loved living here so much. It had been the first place all to herself, where she could do all the things she wanted and no one protested against it (except maybe Mr. Mister at times).

~

The days that followed were the longest in her life. Not only was she starting to doubt whether or not she really was making the right decision, but her mother also kept her so occupied that every night she went to bed exhausted.

On Thursday night, her mother came into her bedroom and told Jenna she wanted to talk about something very important. She wanted to talk to Jenna about her wedding night and what was expected of her. That it would be awkward, but that she would get used to it after a few weeks. She continued that every week or so, her husband would expect of her to be intimate with his wife and that all she could do was obey to that small request. It won’t take too long, if you make it as comfortable as you can for him. She even told her that sometimes she would feel a funny feeling inside her stomach, but that that was nothing to worry about.

When Jenna tried to ask her mother about making love to her husband, her mother shushed it away and told her daughter that that only happened in the movies. In real life, things like that do not happen. She should stop believing in fairytales now that she was becoming a woman.

~

Finally Saturday came around and Jenna was up at 6.30. Her mother made sure that someone did her hair and make-up even before Jenna had had some breakfast. At 8 the first guests arrived, mainly brides maids and of course the maid of honour Stacey.

At ten o’clock the entire party left for the chapel and once there, Jenna was forced to put on her dress already, even though she still had at least an hour before the ceremony was to start.

When that time finally came, she made her way to the entrance again and met her father there. Some last-minute guests arrived and Jenna noticed it was Hoyt with his family. They tried to talk to Jenna, but her mother made them take their seats immediately and afterwards she muttered something underneath her breath about ‘the decency to be so late’.

And then the time was there, Jenna heard the wedding march and all eyes were fixated on her all of a sudden. She saw Carson standing at the altar and instead of excitement, she only felt fear. Fear of actually going through with this, fear of making the biggest mistake of her life. She was not in love with Carson, then why was she going through with this?

When her father gave her away to Carson, she was still in panic, but there was nothing she could do about it now. This was it, she was getting married and there was no turning back.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. If anyone feels these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your silence.”

 _This is my last ticket out, either I speak now or I will be Mrs. Carson Jackson in 5 minutes_

But again, Jenna did not speak and even to her own surprise no one else did either.

“Carson Baily Jackson, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to love and to cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”  
“I do”

“And do you, Jenna Taylor, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”


	32. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 28**

“And do you, Jenna Taylor, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

Jenna didn’t say anything. She just looked at Carson and then Stacey who looked at her pleadingly, telling her without words what Jenna already knew.

“Ms. Taylor, are you alright?”

Jenna took another look at Carson and then gave her answer.

“I … I am so sorry, Carson, but I can’t!”  
“What?” Carson was stunned.  
“I … I c-can’t. I can’t marry you, Carson.”

Everyone at the chapel started whispering, not understanding what was happening. Though there were a number of people who looked very happy. Carry even shortly applauded. Joey and Stacey both looked relieved, very happy that their friend and sister finally came to her senses.

“And why not, if I might ask?” Carson was getting angry at this point. Not that Jenna could blame him.  
“Be… because I …. Don’t love you. I am so sorry, Carson. It would not be fair on you if I would go through with this. You need someone who does love you, someone who wants what you want.”  
“It’s that guy, isn’t it?” Carson spat at her. He could not believe he was treated like this. No one treated him like this. “You are in love with that Catcher-guy, aren’t you? Did he put you up to this?”   
“What? No of course not. He does not even know, he never will anyway.” Jenna whispered the last part. When she walked towards the altar, she had looked out for him, hoping beyond hope that he showed up after all, but she hadn’t seen him. She did spot Hoyt, Carry and the kids and they again tried to tell her something, but because she could not stop and hear what they wanted to say, she had no idea what it would have been.

Again, Jenna turned her face towards the crowd and scanned the room to hopefully see his face, pretending that maybe he had arrived a bit late but was now here to see her get married after all.

The fact that he wasn’t here hurt her more than that she told Carson she would not marry him. Then she realised what she had just said ‘He doesn’t even know’. She had just admitted to Carson and everyone else she was in love with her friend.

“Yeah, I noticed your ‘friend’ isn’t even here, some friend he is. And you are in love with a guy like that? A guy who pretends to be your friend but who isn’t one after all.”   
“Yes he is and I know why he isn’t here. He tried to tell me that I did not love you and I did not believe him. He tried to tell me that I was making a mistake by marrying you and letting you believe I loved you.” Jenna did not have the heart now to tell him that he really warned her that he was also lying about something. “He is not here because he didn’t want to see his friend do something wrong. And us marrying is wrong, Carson. If you open your eyes, you will see it too. We are not right together. In two years time we would both be miserable and we would start hating each other. That would not be right, would it? You would hate me because I will still not stop working and give you that family you so desire and I would resent you because you want me at home instead of at the office. I would only want to work more to be out of your way and that would cause more fights. We would stop talking to each other and try to get out of each others way more and more until in the end we would be strangers to one and other. We both want different things in life. I don’t want to do that to you, you deserve someone who can give you everything I can’t”  
“Oh, don’t you worry about me not getting what you won’t give me” He said angrily. “I guess there is no need to hide anymore that I have already found someone who gives me what you don’t” Carson turned his face shortly towards the audience and winked at someone.  
“What? What do you mean?”  
“Are you sure you want everyone to hear?”

And everything fell into place. Jenna knew that those nightmares weren’t because of her holding out on Carson, but Carson cheating on her for real. That the nightmares showed what Carson did to this other woman instead of her.

“So Allison is real?” She whispered. “She’s not some nightmare I have had for the last year or so? All this time I felt guilty and everyone tried to tell me that I shouldn’t, that those nightmares weren’t because I wanted to wait until I was married. All this time you were seeing Allison, when I had nightmares at the very same time. Does she also know that there is _another_ woman involved? The one you slept with after you left her over Christmas?”

Without waiting for a confirmation, Jenna turned towards the audience. Now very happy and confidant again, knowing she has made the right decision. Also her feeling of guilt was gone. She knew the truth now, she now finally knew why her friends hated Carson so much and she knew why she never had nightmares whenever Catcher was with her. The only thing she regretted now was giving up her job and her apartment, but she would worry about that later. Right now, she would face her friends and family and proudly tell them she would not marry Carson at all. She also already had a great idea for her friends, it was about time someone made _them_ see they needn’t worry about their fears either.

“If I may have everyone’s attention for a few seconds. I am so sorry to say this, but Carson and I will not be married today. I will not bore you with all the reasons and I am sure there are a lot of people here who will already be more than happy to give you their version of why I have decided not to go through with it.”

“I would however like your attention to a different couple who _do_ deserve to be bonded in matrimony today as they do share a love I can only dream about.”

Jenna turned to Stacey and took off her vale and placed it on Stacey’s head, while she could not stop the tears anymore. Jenna was so very happy her main worries were over, yet she was also sad that she had to leave immediately and not stay to watch her best friend become her sister-in-law. She hugged Stacey and again realised she was the best friend she could ever imagine

“I am so very sorry I can’t be there to see you get married to my brother, I hope that one day you will forgive me for this. I need to go away for a little while, at least until I have cleared my head and figured out what I want with my life. I know you will make my brother a very happy man and he will give you the same happiness in return.”   
“There is nothing to forgive” Stacey whispered back ”I am just so happy you finally came to your senses. You really have made the right decision, Jen. Go, go now, you know who is waiting for you. I know he is, sweetheart. He loves you and you two will work everything out, I am sure of it. I will tell you all when you return”  
“You are not mad because I am making you come out like this?” Jenna only just realised that maybe Stacey or Joey might not be so happy by Jenna’s sudden idea. But Stacey gave her another smile.  
“You beat us to it; Joey proposed to me last night. But because of all the rush this morning and your mother not giving us a chance to talk in private, I never got a chance to tell you personally. We were going to tell everyone tonight at the party.”

“Even though you will not be here, I would still like you to be my maid of honour”  
“Don’t even think of giving it to someone else. I have already left a man at the altar today, I can put a maid of honour slash bride to that list too.”  
“I love you Jenna, don’t you ever forget that. Now go, I have a wedding to be in.”   
“I love you too Stacey, more than you will ever realise. Go on, you are two words away from becoming my sister-in-law”

Jenna kissed Stacey and quickly ran towards her little brother to give him a hug. “Make her happy, little brother” was all she said before she ran out of the chapel, leaving everyone behind, including her speechless mother. Her mother tried to grab her when she ran past, but Jenna shook her loose. She ran outside, never looking back and with a satisfied smile on her face. She ran towards the house she was supposed to start living in tonight, packed up Mr. Mister and jumped into her Beetle and drove off.

~

She drove for hours, not really driving anywhere. She did not really know where to go. She did not want to go to Catcher’s place as she first wanted to make some decisions. She wanted to be 100% sure she was doing the right thing and she did not want any worries or hesitations in the way of that. Besides, she wasn’t even sure if he would still want to see her. The fact that he had not come to the wedding after all, made her see that he had not forgiven her and that he proved her that he would not witness the biggest mistake of her life. She only hoped that one day he would forgive her and maybe even be friends again. Friendship was all she could hope for, she was sure that he did not feel for her anymore what she now was not afraid to deny herself from anymore.

She loved Catcher, with all her heart. She could not understand why she denied it for so long. Why had she stayed with Carson all that time? Was she really convinced that one day she would get Catcher out of her mind and love Carson? Why had she ever let him into her life anyway?

She thought back to the time her mother had introduced her to Carson and what a horrible guy he was. He had tried to kiss her and more so many times, yet a few months later, she phones him up to let him into her life. She only had herself to blame.

Without realising it, she found herself in front of her old apartment after a 10 hour detour. She still had the key to it for another 2 weeks and the bag in her car still held them. Jenna had no idea where to go to and so she decided it would be the easiest place to stay for a few days without anyone knowing where she was. She did not want to speak to anyone for a number of days and since everyone thought that she did not have the keys to her apartment anymore, she was sure she would be able to stay here and think without any interruptions.

When she opened the door to her apartment a distinct smell reached her nose; Catcher had been here. Immediately Jenna scanned her entire apartment, hoping he left a note or something that showed he had forgiven her, but unfortunately all she found was his suit gone.

 _He only stopped by to pick up his suit. He has still not forgiven me, not even close. How could I ever have been so stupid as to deny myself from him? He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I let him walk away from me._

Jenna sank down on the couch that was still there and started to cry again. She didn’t know why, but somehow she had secretly hoped that he would have been here. The fact that his tux was now gone made it all the more clear that he would never be in her life again.

All weekend Jenna tried to get things straight, tried to get some sense into her life again, but every time she saw her wedding dress hanging in the bathroom, she thought of Catcher and how she had lost him. On Sunday evening Jenna finally found the courage to telephone her now sister-in-law. At least someone should know where she was.

“Adams residence, Stacey Ad… Taylor speaking” Stacey couldn’t help but giggle at her own new last name.  
“Is this Mrs. Joseph Taylor speaking?” Jenna said with a different voice.  
“JENNA?” Stacey could never be fooled “Jenna, where are you? We are starting to get worried. Do you want me to come pick you up? You can stay with me for a while, if you want.”  
“Stacey, don’t worry” finally Stacey had to breath and Jenna got her chance to get a word in. “I am alright, I am staying …. With a friend for a while. I really need some more time to think and just be with myself for a little while.”  
“But at least give me an address, please?”  
“I-I’m sorry, Stacey, but I can’t right now. I promise you I will let you know where I am soon, but right now I’d rather be here without anyone knowing where I am. Will you tell everyone I am fine?”  
“Of course I will. Jen, if you need anything, you know I will be right there, right?”  
“Of course I know that. But I think you’d rather spend some time with your new husband right now, right? So how was it yesterday? Tell me everything.”  
“It was beautiful, Jen. I really still cannot thank you enough for doing this.”

Stacey told everything that happened during her wedding ceremony, from the moment they were asked to hold each other’s right hand until the moment they said ‘I do’.

“How did mum take it? Is she very mad that her only daughter walked out and she witnessed another son get married?”  
“She’s not too happy with you right now and I will never forget the look on her face when she saw us step up to the altar, it was priceless. My mum was so happy she could not stop crying all day. She told me later she had suspected we were seeing each other in secret for a few months now. Apparently I blushed every time Joey’s name was mentioned.”  
“And Carson?” Jenna had to ask. “I noticed Allison at the back of the chapel.”  
“He made this big scene where he walked off and practically made out with her in the middle of the isle and then he walked off with her. That evening most of the guests made it over to your parent’s house for the party and he also showed himself there for a little while. He was as drunk as hell and he tried to grab every woman there. Allison wasn’t with him.”  
“And to think I almost married him…..”  
“At least now you see the real him, Jen and you saw it right on time too. If you would have said ‘I do’ first, you would have been stuck with him forever.”  
“Oh no, I know now that a divorce is nothing to be ashamed of and I would have filed for one the very next day. But enough about him, how are things now? Are you both still going to live at home until you find a place?”  
“Probably yes. We both have some money saved, so it will not be too long before we can move in together. Last night he stayed with me though. I mean, you can’t have your wedding night separate, right?”  
“And? How was it?”  
“It was the most romantic night of my life. I will tell you all about _that_ when I see you next time. That isn’t really something you share over the phone.”  
“I guess not. Sweetheart, again I have to tell you I am so happy for you. Give my love to my brother for me and tell everyone else I am fine. I will get in touch again very soon, I promise. Bye”

~

“Jenna? What are you doing here, dear?” Mary Litzer screamed happily as soon as she saw Jenna come up to the reception desk.  
“Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon right now? Enjoying your husband and married life?”  
“I-I did not get married.”  
“What?” a very pregnant Vicky McManus asked as she came out of the bathroom. “What happened? He did not leave you, did he?”  
“No … I-I did…”

Not all of her colleagues had made it to the wedding. Mainly because the company had grown so much, there were just too many colleagues to invite. Another reason was the distance from the office to the chapel. Jenna had invited everyone but warned them at the same time how long the drive would be and how she would not mind at all if they would not come because of that distance. In the end they decided only Nancy would come. At first Vicky was to come too, but she was just too pregnant to take the long car ride.

More ex-colleagues gathered around Jenna to hear her story. After a few minutes Nancy Brown even came out of the office to find out what the noise was. When she spotted Jenna, she asked her inside her office before she even heard a word of what had happened and why she was here instead of with her husband.

“Jenna, can I have a word with you for a few minutes?”  
“Sure, I wanted to talk to you too”

Last night Jenna had decided to stay here in New York a bit longer than her few days she had thought at first. She had already talked to the landlord that morning to hold on to her apartment and she was able to stay in her own apartment until her next departure, as long as she promised to stay for at least a year. If she decided to move again, she would have to pay rent until the year was up. Even though Jenna knew it was a big risk to take, she took it anyway. Towards her family she now had an excuse to stay for at least a year, though she was not going to tell anyone yet where she was staying for a while. Not even Stacey or Joe were going to know where she was, not yet anyway.

“Oh my word, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks. Have you?”  
“Not really. I am just trying to get my life back in order and that will probably be a while. But I am trying my first steps in the right direction today. I was actually hoping that maybe you might have a job for me here. I understand the impossibility of getting my old job back.”  
“I am afraid that that is indeed impossible. The woman you trained is of course still with us, even though I still wonder whether she can handle it. It will probably take a little while before we are used to her, I guess. About another job … I have to think about that…. I don’t know if I have anything available at the moment … Is it okay if I get back to you on that? I have to find out if we have some jobs available. You have shown yourself a loyal and good colleague, so I doubt it will be a problem.”  
“Fantastic. Thank you so much, Ms. Brown. I still have the same address and telephone number so you can reach me there.”  
“Still have it? Have you been planning to walk out on him?”  
“No, that was truly a spur of the moment thing. My lease just did not end for another 2 weeks and after a talk with my landlord I was able to keep my apartment after all.”  
“Or else you probably could stay with Catcher, right?”  
“N-no. I-I don’t think we will be seeing each other anymore.”  
“Why not? I thought you were very close friends?” Nancy was very surprised to hear this, especially after she had talked to him after the wedding.  
“We were, but we had a big fight last week and we haven’t spoken to each other since.”  
“But he does know you are here, right?”  
“No and I think it might be best if he didn’t know that I am. I wouldn’t want to fuel his anger any more than I apparently already have.”  
“But he…” Nancy wanted to tell Jenna he was at the wedding, that he was late and what else they had talked about, but she was interrupted by Jenna before she got the chance.  
“Please, Ms. Brown, don’t tell him I am back in New York, please. I-I really don’t want him to know this.”  
“Alright. But I think you might be surprised if you did contact him. He might not be as angry as you think he still is.”

And with those words, Jenna left the office, not really wanting to think about Nancy’s last words. Of course he was still angry with her or else he would have shown up at the wedding, wouldn’t he?

A week after Jenna had visited Nancy Brown, she received a telephone call from her. She found a job for Jenna as a secretary. One of the secretaries was leaving and thus creating an open spot for Jenna. At first Jenna wasn’t certain if she would be able to do it as she wasn’t trained for it, but Nancy was very confidant that she would handle it perfectly.

Over the following weeks, Jenna tried to pick up her old life, which was harder than she had imagined at first. Mainly because she missed Catcher so much. She no longer had anyone to talk to every night or during the weekends. She did not have any visits to look forward to. All she now had was Mr. Mister, who never complained one single bit that his mistress was lonely: he’d never had this much attention from her before. She talked to him all the time, picking him up all day and petting him whenever she was reading. That was almost all the time when she was home. She still did not have a television set yet and since she did not have a single piece of furniture anymore, she would not be able to buy one for quite some time.

No one still knew where she was. Not even Stacey had any idea yet. Stacey tried with all her might to find out though; she was extremely worried about her friend and ‘sister’. They talked once a week and all the while Stacey tried to find out desperately where Jenna could be staying. Jenna on the other hand desperately tried to hide her whereabouts from her best friend for a little longer. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her best friend to know, but she was just scared that she might let it slip to other people where she was and that her mother would find out too. She did not want to talk to her family yet because she knew how mad they still were with her. Stacey and Joe had told her all about it.

Jenna did still not know that Catcher showed up at the wedding. Stacey and Catcher regularly spoke on the phone nowadays and Catcher got more and more desperate to find out about Jenna’s whereabouts. Not only because of his feelings for her and his need to see the woman he was in love with but also to know for sure she was alright. He knew what Jenna was like and he was very afraid that she would have locked herself up, blaming herself for everything that ever happened. It had already been 2 months since Jenna had walked out of the wedding and out of everyone and he knew for sure that all this time Jenna would hardly have spoken to anyone.

Catcher was actually very close to the truth; Jenna was indeed very lonely and hardly spoke to anyone outside of work. When she did speak to someone besides her colleagues, it was to her cat and he still hadn’t answered her back properly. Jenna dreaded going outside to go shopping for fear of running into Catcher and thus running into a confrontation she was sure she would not like.

That confrontation actually came in December, two and a half months after she left Carson at the altar. Jenna was doing a little bit of Christmas shopping for her family. She had planned on sending a package from Boston (so still no one would be any the wiser of her whereabouts) to her family with little presents and a letter telling everyone not to worry and that she was alright. She just walked out of a bookshop when she saw him walk towards her.

 _This is it! By the look on his face, he has already spotted me; he looks very angry. Why don’t dreams ever come true? At least in my dreams he has forgiven me. At least in my dreams we have made up….. over and over and over again…._

 _Wow, he lost a lot of weight; he looks so thin, almost dangerous._

 _Here we go … Brace yourself!_


	33. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 29**

 _Here we go … Brace yourself!_

But there was no need to … Catcher just walked past her without acknowledging her at all! But Jenna knew for sure that he had seen her walking down the street. He had looked her in the eye, she just knew it. Right after he had looked at her, his appearance changed to an angry look.

Jenna had hoped that after all this time, maybe he would have eased his anger a bit and maybe he would not be so angry with her anymore. But, apparently, Jenna was wrong. The anger in his eyes had both surprised and scared her. She had never seen such anger in his eyes before.

Jenna could not sleep that night. She kept seeing Catcher’s angry face. After 2 months of dreading walking into him, her worst fears were realised. Though secretly she of course had hoped he would have forgiven her by now and that maybe they could have made up and become friends again (okay, we all know what she meant by _that_ ). To make matters even worse, she had hardly had a decent night’s rest as her dreams haunted her almost every night where she made love to him.

Over the following 2 weeks she saw Catcher walk down the streets of New York more than her heart could take. She made sure that Catcher never saw her though. She hurried inside stores every time she saw him. One time she even ended up in a baby store and it took her ages to get out of there. She was asked so many times when she was due that in the end she lied and left the shop with a bag full of baby clothes and pregnancy books.

~

One Friday evening, 1 week before Christmas, Jenna was bored out of her mind. She had just finished another book and did not have a new one to start in yet. She still did not have any other ways of entertainment since she still had not decorated her house yet. She finally did have enough saved to buy a new couch, a new bed and a new coffee table. She was going to buy them after Christmas when everything would go on sale. By that time she would also have enough saved to buy other furniture.

At times like these she missed her friends more than ever. She missed calling Catcher at night, missed talking to Stacey about any problem she might have, missed her brother Joe’s comfort. Heck, she even missed her family right now. But somehow she was still too afraid to go and visit them. Maybe she _should_ finally make that telephone call to them. But what if they also responded the way Catcher had done? All she wanted was some support for her actions and the only 2 people who had given that to her ever since September were Joe and Stacey.

 _To hell with it, I am just going to try. If they get mad, that is their problem, not mine. I know what I did was the best thing for both of us._

With a shaking hand and a pounding heart Jenna picked up her telephone and dialled the number to her parent’s home.

“Hello?” a grumpy voice answered. Just what Jenna needed; her father who was already in a bad mood…  
“Dad? I-it’s me, Jenna…”

The other side of the line went quiet. Jenna waited for almost a minute for her father to respond.

“Dad?”  
“I heard you the first time Jenna. I am just thinking about what to say to you.”  
“Are you still mad at me, dad?”  
“Not mad, no. Just disappointed.”  
“Why? Why are you disappointed? Because I left Carson at the altar?”  
“No, but I am disappointed because you never once tried to contact us. You have been gone for over 2 months and we do not even know where you are. When we ask Joe or Stacey about it, they also will not tell us, pretending they also do not know”  
“That is because they really _don’t_. No one knows where I am, just me. I promise I will let everyone know soon enough, I just need a little more time.”  
“Time for what? Jenna, you have been gone for 2 months, what have you done in this time? Why is it so hard for you to let us know where you are?”  
“I have been thinking a lot; about why I ran off, about Carson, if I had done the right thing, if I should have dated Carson at all, what I want with my future and so much more, dad. The reason why I have not told anyone where I am yet is just because I need time to think about everything and if I tell anyone about my whereabouts I just know that someone is bound to knock on that door and try to ‘help’ me solve what is bothering me. That is exactly what I do not want. Just for once I would like to solve my problems all by myself, without anyone interrupting me or trying to tell me what they think is best for me.”  
“But don’t you understand our worry?”  
“Of course I do and you have no idea how guilty I feel about it, but this is just the best thing for me to do right now. I promise I will make it all up to everyone real soon.”  
“Are you coming over for Christmas?”  
“I-I don’t know yet? I am trying to forget about Christmas right now. I have sent a package with presents your way, haven’t you received them yet? I sent them out at least a week ago.”  
“I will have to ask your mother about that, I haven’t heard her talk about it. Hang on….”

Jenna heard her father call for his wife while he held his hand over the receiver. She faintly heard her mother speak, but she could not make out the words.”

“Jenna, I asked your mother and she said she did receive a package a few days ago, but she has not opened it yet.”  
“Why not? I wrote my name on the box too so that you all would know who it was from. Is mum still mad at me?”  
“Jenna, this is not the right time or place to ask this. Don’t you think you should ask questions like that in person, instead of through a telephone line?”  
“Meaning yes. Can I talk to her?”  
“I don’t think that that is a wise idea, dear. You are clearly agitated and I don’t think I should put you through if you are in this state.”  
“Dad, that is nonsense. I just want to speak to my mother, maybe clear up some things.”  
“Hang on, I will ask her”

“Mrs. Taylor” said her mother in a cold voice.  
“Mum, it’s me, Jenna.”  
“Oh, hello.” Another cold reply.  
“Mum, why are you still mad at me? Is it because I walked out on Carson at the wedding?” She asked her mother this time.  
“Why would I need to be? You made your choices perfectly clear, just like you have always done. If I got a penny for every time I had to be mad at you I would have made a fortune by now.”  
“I cannot believe you have just said that. You really do not understand why I did what I did, do you?”  
“To be very honest, no I do not.”  
“I was not in love with him, mum. I only thought I was. I made myself believe that I loved him, or that I would learn to love him in the future. That is wrong, mum. It would not only have made _me_ very miserable but Carson too.”  
“Then why did you not tell him sooner? You have had plenty of time to do so, yet you chose the most humiliating moment of his life to do so.”  
“You are absolutely right, I could not have chosen a worse moment to let him know. But even when I walked down the isle I still thought I was able to go through with it. It wasn’t until I was asked to say ‘I do’ that I realised I would be making the biggest mistake of our lives. If my friends had not made me see this, I probably even _would_ have been married right now.”  
“So we have your _friends_ to thank for this? You would rather believe your friends than the man you were about to marry?”  
“My FRIENDS made me open my eyes, mum. They made me see what a mistake I would be making. They made me realise I really wasn’t feeling what I was pretending to feel. To be very honest, to this very day, I am still very grateful for this and not just because they made me see that I was not in love with him.”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
“Mum, have you not listened to a word _CARSON_ said? He had been cheating on me for a year! I think that that is reason enough not to marry him, don’t you think?”  
“Well….”  
“Mum, don’t tell me that I just had to learn to live with that? How could I possibly learn to love a man who cheats on me with another woman? Would you have done so if dad had cheated on you the way Carson did?”  
“So he slipped once, why can’t you forgive him for that? I know that if your father had done so, I would have forgiven him.”  
“But it wasn’t just one time, he cheated on me almost every weekend. Even when I came to visit him, he cheated on me after he left our house.”  
“How do you know? Has he told you this?”  
“He did not even need to. Remember all these nightmares I had? Those weren’t just nightmares mum, they were warnings. Every time I had a nightmare, he was with that Allison-woman.”  
“Again, you would rather believe a nightmare instead of the man you were supposed to marry?”  
“He confessed mum. He told everyone at the chapel this, you know that, you were there, remember?”  
“But you know just as well as I do that he would have made a fine husband, Jenna.” It annoyed Jenna beyond reason that her mother called her by her name instead of the equally annoying ‘dear’. But at least if she would have called her daughter ‘dear’ Jenna would have known that her mother was not angry with her anymore and that her mother would understand her situation.  
“No mum, he would not have. He would have made me miserable. He would have made me quite my job eventually and probably even practically force me to have his children, he would have kept seeing Allison and I would be miserable for the rest of my life.”  
“Since when do you not want to have any children?” her mother acted as if she wasn’t even listening to what Jenna was _exactly_ saying. “You have always told me you wanted them.”  
“I do want to have children one day. But I only want them when I feel the time is right. I do not want to be pressured into them. I want to look forward to finding out I am pregnant instead of dreading it.”

“Mum? Why do you keep defending Carson so much? Why will you not stick up for your daughter? You know what he did was wrong, yet you keep defending him as if he was your one and only child.”  
“I am not.”  
“Yes you are, mum. I just would finally like to know why.”  
“Because I think you are making a mistake. Carson is a fine man and he is perfect for you.”  
“Why is he perfect for me then?”  
“He is a kind man with a future. He has a steady job and comes from a respected family. What more do you want?”  
“So that is it, he comes from a respected family? But what if he would have hit me all the time, would that ‘respected family’ still be more important?”  
“Has he ever hit you?”  
“No…”  
“Then what on earth are you talking about?”

“You know what, mum? Let’s just drop it. We are never going to agree on this. I know I made the right decision and you think I didn’t. I will promise you that I’ll prove that I can find someone who is right for me, who comes from a respected family and is the family man you want to see me with.”

Her mother did not respond to that. Probably because Maggie realised her daughter was right. After almost a minute of silence, her mother asked her:

“Are you coming home for Christmas, dear?”  
“I don’t know yet. Can I think about it and let you know by the end of tomorrow?”  
“I guess so.”

After she finally hung up on their parents, promising them again that she would let them know if she would come over for Christmas, she picked up the telephone yet again. This time to talk to a friendly voice who she knew understood Jenna’s actions.

“Adams!”  
“Hello Mr. Adams, it’s Jenna, is ‘Mrs. Taylor’ there?”  
“I think I just heard her come home from a dinner with her husband, hang on.”

“Stacey…”  
“Hey, sis. How are you?”  
“Oh my goodness, finally. How are you? It’s been so long since you last phoned us.”  
“I know, I am so sorry about that. But then, you are always out with your husband, how on earth am I supposed to reach you if you are not even there?”  
“Don’t you even try that. I have never been out when you phoned me.”  
“If I had not decided to call my parents, you would have.”  
“What? You finally called them? You have no idea how happy I am about that. Did you tell them where you are? They are really worried, you know?”  
“I know, I spoke to dad for a while and he really wished I had contacted them sooner.”  
“Your mum too, even though she still pretends to be mad at you”

Jenna then told her about the conversation she had had with both her father and her mother. It felt really good to tell her friend about it and just like she had hoped, Stacey stood by her and agreed that what she had said was right.

“So, are you really coming over? You know we are all dying to see you. I have also got _your_ present here and I would really like to open our presents together. Your present for me is safely tucked away in my closet, but I am dying to open it.”  
“Don’t you dare open it before Christmas. To be very honest, I am not sure yet if I am coming over. I _am_ seriously thinking about it though. I told my mother that I would let her know by the end of tomorrow, of course I will let you know too as soon as I have made up my mind.”

They talked about what Jenna’s telephone conversation with her parents and what Stacey thought about it. But after a little while, Jenna really wanted to change the subject, she was depressed enough and needed a more cheerful conversation.

“Alright, enough about my parents and their weird ways, let’s just talk about something happier, please? How’s the house hunt going? Found anything yet?”  
“Almost, we are actually trying to buy that house that Carson tried to buy a few months ago. You remember Mrs. Hanson’s place? She finally moved out and her house is for sale now. It is actually in our price range, so we are really hoping for it. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Then we can finally start living like husband and wife.”  
“You are still sleeping separate then?”  
“Yes” Stacey groaned “Your mother will not even let us spend weekends together. Sometimes I really do not understand your family, it really is a miracle how you and your brother turned out.”  
“But … without informing me _too_ much on ‘how and what’, but …” But Jenna never got a chance to finish her question, Stacey interrupted her, knowing exactly what her best friend meant.  
“In the car! Can you believe it? The only place where we can be alone and spend some ‘quality time’ together is in the car.”  
“Quality time? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”  
“That is the only term your mother understands but has no idea of what we mean by it.”  
“But if you want some ‘alone time’ as I know my mother understands that term as well, why don’t you ask to go up to Joey’s room? If you just say you want to discuss some things, I am sure she will buy it.”  
“Yep, she does, but it only works for about 30 minutes or so. After that, she will come up and knock on the door to ask if we would like a cup of coffee, or something like that. Joey has asked some of your brothers how they did it, but all they did was laugh and tell him that he ‘needed to find _that_ out himself’.”  
“And what about ‘dinner at _your_ parents?”  
“Every weekend, baby, hahaha.”

“So when do you think you will find out when you can buy the place?”  
“Hopefully within the following week. But, unfortunately, since Christmas is coming up, it might take another 2 weeks until we hear anything. Listen, why don’t you just give me a telephone number, that way I can phone you if I have the place?”  
“You know what? If I do decide to come over for Christmas this weekend, I will let you know where I have been hiding and even give you my telephone number. **BUT** you have to promise me that you will not give it to anyone until I tell you you can.”  
“Sweetheart, if needed be, I will even keep it from my husband if that is what it takes for you to finally let anyone know where you are. You really haven’t got a clue how worried I am about you, do you?”  
“Yes, I do. But I also know that you understand why I am doing this.”  
“Can I be very honest with you? At first I did. I know you needed some time and space, but lately I do understand so much anymore. It is just taking too long for you to confide in even any person. I am your best friend and you will not even confide in me in which state you are staying.”  
“I know. But I promise you that I will let you know everything once I come over. I might even tell you the story of how I ended up buying a whole bunch of baby clothes.”  
“WHAT?”  
“No, no, don’t think like that. Still no baby in sight, but at least I am prepared if that day comes, hihi.”

“How was dinner tonight? _Special occasion perhaps????_ Maybe something you need to tell me?”  
“N-no of course not, if it was, don’t you think I would have told you the very second you phoned me? We just had a lovely dinner, that’s all.”  
“And?” Jenna knew Stacey too well to know she was hiding something.  
“Jen, you do not want to know what happened next, he is your brother for crying out loud.”  
“Ewww, no. But you are neglecting to tell me something and I want to know what that is, just like you always want to know from me too.”  
“I promise, Jen. Nothing happened. We just had a lovely dinner with .. a friend.” Stacey knew that Jenna would have picked up on her short pause. She was hoping though that she hadn’t.  
“A .. _friend_? And who is this _friend_? And why is he called _friend_?”  
“You do not know all my friends, Jen.”  
“Yes, I do. I even ‘know’ the friends I never even met. Why won’t you tell me who you had dinner with? Is it someone I know?”  
“Yes” Stacey whispered.  
“Not Carson, right?”  
“How could you possibly think that of us? After the way he treated you?”  
“Then who is it? Carson is the only one I can understand you would not tell me about.”  
“Are you sure you want to know?”  
“Stace, what is going on?”

But Jenna didn’t listen to what Stacey might have answered. She did not even know IF Stacey even replied. Jenna had heard something at the door that she found much more alarming.

“Stace, I will call you back soon, I promise. There is someone at the door.”  
“Jen, are you oka…..”

Jenna hung up the phone, leaving Stacey with questions about what was going on in Jenna’s apartment. Jenna tiptoed to the door and due to a lack of anything hard in her vicinity; she balled her fist and hid behind her door, waiting for whatever would happen to happen. Quickly she turned off the light that was on so she now waited in darkness.

Again she heard the door lock rattle, almost as if someone was trying to break in with a forced key. She heard the metal of the fake key turn and unlock her door. The key was taken out of the lock and someone pushed the door open.

When she finally saw an image walk inside her house, she stopped thinking and just acted upon her instincts and kicked the person in the back of his leg, making him fall down to his knees. Then her fist hit the burglars face hard and heard a voice scream in pain.

She knew that voice…


	34. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 30**

Jenna quickly turned the light back on and recognised the balled up person on her living room floor. Anger rose in her chest. How dare he break in here? How dare he even show up? How did he know she was here?

“What are you doing here?” Jenna asked him coldly, making sure he knew she was definitely just as mad at him as she knew he was with her. The nerve of him showing up like this and at this hour. She was going to change her locks in the morning, making sure that this could never happen again. How did he do it anyway? He didn’t have a key anymore, did he?

The man on the floor froze, as if he had heard ghost speaking. _This can’t be real_ he thought _She can’t be here. I would have known she was here. Stop imagining her everywhere you go. She has a mean hook though, whoever she is._

“Answer me; what are you doing here?” Jenna’s voice got angrier, demanding answers. If he thought he had any right to barge in here like he did, he better have some answers ready. She was not going to let him get away with this easily.

The man got up, cleaning some of the blood off his face and turned around to face the woman who had hit him so hard. When he met her eyes, he found them angrier and colder than he had ever seen them. He had seen that look before, but never addressed to him. Then it hit him that it _was_ her, she really was in this apartment. What was she doing _here_? How come no one knew about _this_?

Jenna grew more impatient with every minute. She still had not gotten an answer, yet here he was staring at her as if a dead ancestor was right in front of him.

“Stop staring at me like you have seen a ghost, answer my question or I will call the police. You of all people should know that trespassing an entering is illegal. How dare you break in here? Who do you think you are? Santa Clause?”  
“What are _you_ doing here?”  
“Excuse me? What am _I_ doing here? _You_ still have not answered _my_ question, yet _you_ think you have any right to ask _ME_ questions? You have some nerve. How did you find out I was here anyway? I figured _you_ wouldn’t care less about my whereabouts.”  
“I-I’m sorry, m-maybe I should just go… at least I now know you are alright.”  
“Yes, maybe you should go. Last time we spoke, you made perfectly clear how you thought of me and apparently nothing has changed. Goodbye!”

Jenna walked back to the door and held it open, clearly showing the man in front of her that she wanted him out of her apartment. She could not believe the nerves of that … that … jerk. She was finally getting her life back together and then he just thinks he can walk back into her life, right when she had tried desperately to get him out of it. She had a pounding headache and all she could think about was going to bed and figuring this all out in the morning.

Unfortunately she knew that _that_ would probably work out a bit different. What was more likely to happen as soon as he left was that Jenna went to bed, trying desperately to fall asleep. But her mind would never let her, her mind would want to work things out now, _before_ she would fall asleep. She would probably not fall asleep till dawn and then she would probably get up and worry about her other decision to make; was she going to spend Christmas at home?

Right now the thought of that made her even more nauseous. By the time she would phone her parents everyone would probably already know where she had been hiding herself.

Just as Jenna wanted to close her door she noticed that the man who just left made a weird move, followed by a loud thud on the floor. When she looked again she noticed him lying still on the floor, without any sign of him trying to get up again.

“Oh no, Catcher, are you alright?”

All anger forgotten, Jenna rushed over to Catcher after she did not get a response of him. She hunched down in front of him and saw that he was unconscious. What was she going to do now? How on earth was she going to get him inside her house? An unconscious person weighs double his weight…

After 10 minutes she finally had Catcher lying on her couch and she started pacing the floors again. What would she do now? Would she throw him out again as soon as he woke up? Would she listen to his story? Should she call a doctor? She had not hit him that hard, had she? Her hand did hurt, though she had not noticed that until now. She had been too busy with getting rid of the one person she had thought least likely to turn up here. Again the question of how he knew where she had been rose in her head. She had never even hinted towards this place. She had made sure that even the packages she had sent out were sent from different towns. It must have been his detective, he must have sent him out to find her. But why? The last time she had run into him, he had looked at her like he wanted nothing to do with her. What could have possibly changed that he wanted to know where she was now? Was he looking for a new expose? ‘Women who leave men at the altar; act of emancipation or just cold feet’?

She got a wet cloth from the kitchen and started dabbing his head and neck with it. She was still angry with him, furious even, but she never wished him any harm. She was still in love with him, whether she liked it or not.

Another 20 minutes passed, yet Catcher still had not woken up. Jenna was really starting to worry now. She had no idea what to do now. What if he was in serious need of a doctor? She could not call him, it was in the middle of the night. Maybe she could call the hospital, maybe they could tell her what to do.

Jenna left the cloth on Catcher’s forehead and walked off towards the telephone. All the while she looked back, making sure he wasn’t waking up while she made the phone call to the hospital. When she explained the situation to the nurse who had answered the phone, she was told to keep doing what she was doing. It probably wasn’t anything serious by the sounds of it. He was probably indeed unconscious and maybe even asleep right now. She did need to stay with him until he woke up. When he did she needed to ask him a few simple questions and if he would fail to correctly answer them, she would need to contact the hospital again.

Another hour went by, yet Catcher made no sound or move. Jenna sat herself down on the floor next to him and just waited for him to wake up. Since he was still very unconscious and thus not able to know at all what Jenna was doing, Jenna just sat there and watched him, she noticed how thin he was, it was even worse than that time they had run in to each other almost 3 weeks ago. He also looked exhausted, as if he had not slept in months. Would he be dating all these women again?

She had missed this so much. She missed his presence, the way he made her feel, the way she felt so relaxed whenever he was near her. She felt that same ease again. If only he wasn’t so mad with her, she would love to go back to the way they used to be. She didn’t care if they would never get together the way she would like to most, as long as she could have his friendship again. Maybe, if they talk about everything else first and if they would understand each other’s reasoning, if Catcher would come with a good answer to why he just broke into her apartment, she might even try to ask him for his friendship again. Would he say yes, though?

She had hurt his feelings the last time they spoke, she had also still tried to deny her own feelings though she also had admitted them to him. Would he know that she did not marry Carson? What would he say if she told him once he woke up? Should she tell him? Maybe it was best if she didn’t. But if she would, he would also know she finally stood up for herself and made a choice she knew was right. Would he finally be proud of her then? But what would happen next? Would he ask her why she did it? Would he ask her if she was still in love with him? He would know the answer to that immediately probably, even without answering him. She knew she would blush so badly that an answer was unnecessary.

Oh yes, she was still deeply in love with him, that was for sure. As angry as she was for him breaking into her apartment, her heart had skipped a beat when she noticed it was him. As thin as he looked, he was still as beautiful as ever.

It actually did not take long for Jenna to fall asleep. Unfortunately another nightly torture followed; every night she dreamt of Catcher, this time she dreamt of making love to Catcher on the very couch he was sleeping on right now. He did things to her she never thought possible, yet they excited her very much. I will not bore you with details of what happened during that dream, but I can tell you that Jenna had some very spicy moments that would make our hearts beat faster.

A few hours later she woke with a start. Someone was walking around her apartment. When Jenna focussed her eyes, she noticed Catcher came back from the bathroom, holding a wet towel to his cheek. Catcher had not noticed Jenna was awake yet so he carefully stepped over her and lay himself down on the couch again. His head was pounding and he had a nasty black eye.

“Are you alright?” Jenna said as she slowly sat up. “You should stay awake for a while now. I called a nurse last night and she told me I should ask you a few questions. So … ehm … who is our president right now?”  
“Johnson”  
“Right … ehm … when is Christmas?”  
“This is silly, Jen.”

Jenna didn’t register what he had just called her. If she had, she would have known straight away that maybe he was not as angry with her anymore as she still thought he was.

“Just answer me, okay?”  
“25th December”  
“Next one … ehm … Which city do you live in?”  
“New York, The big apple, NYC, you want me to go on?”  
“This is no joke, Catch. The nurse was very serious when she told me to do this. She said to pick easy questions that even a 4-year-old could answer. If you failed to answer them correctly, I had to phone her back.”

 _Did I just call him Catch? Old habits die hard, don’t they? I really should stop that, he might not appreciate that very much._

“Last one … How did you know I was here?” What Jenna really wanted to know was if he was really still angry with her and if they would ever be able to solve that, but this question also burned to be asked.  
“I thought you said easy questions that a 4-year-old can answer?”  
“I thought it was fairly easy.”  
“I am not trying to get out of answering, but can’t we go for breakfast first? I am starving. And do you maybe have some aspirin? My head is killing me.”  
“I can make some breakfast after you answer my question first.” Why Jenna all of a sudden wanted this question answered so badly again, she did not understand. All she knew was that she just wanted to know who told him about her whereabouts. Had he maybe even followed her here? But then again, why had he given her that ice-cold look?

“Alright…. I didn’t know!”  
“Bullshit”  
“It’s true, I really didn’t.”  
“Then why were you here, if you didn’t know I was here, why did you break into my apartment anyway?”  
“Hey, you promised me breakfast first. I answered your question, so I get breakfast now.”

Before Jenna could say that she did not agree to his answer, Catcher got up quickly and made his way towards Jenna’s kitchen. Jenna needed 2 things, he thought; some food down her and a strong cup of coffee. Jenna had no idea what he was about to say and he figured that a good strong cup of coffee might help a bit.

“Jen? Where is your food? I can’t find any here?”  
“I should have some bread and some cheese. I know it’s not a lot, but I was going to do some shopping today.”  
“Today? 2 days before Christmas? Are you bored or something? You know how long it would take you, right?”  
“I know, but I haven’t had any time before.” That was true, Jenna was of course a working woman again and so she could only go shopping during evenings or weekends. She had tried to put it off for as long as she could, just because she was afraid to run into Catcher again. She figured that Catcher would visit his brother again and so she could be safe to go to the shops today.  
“Too busy? What have you been doing all this time then?”  
“You answer my questions first, before I start answering any of yours.”

~

“So…” Jenna said as they sat down with their breakfast and coffee again. “Talk!”

Catcher took a big bite from his sandwich and a sip from his coffee before he started talking. Where would he start? Did Jenna have any idea what has been going on for the last 2 to 3 months?

“You really have to believe me when I say I did not know you were here. Had I known, I would have stopped by a lot sooner.”

“You have to realise first how desperate everyone is to find you. Stacey and Joe even hired a detective to find you. They really worry about you, afraid that you might do something to yourself. Last night we went out to dinner to discuss what we could do next.”  
“So it was _you_? But why wouldn’t Stacey tell me that?”  
“Huh?”  
“I called Stacey last night and she desperately tried not to tell me who she had dinner with. No matter what I tried, she would not tell me about that dinner last night.”  
“Really? That’s weird. Every time you phoned her, she is immediately on the phone to me to give me a fully detailed report on what you two talked about. But then again, she wanted to find you so badly that she figured that telling me everything you two talked about would help in finding you faster. With everything she told, she asked me what I thought about that, if I thought something weird had been said and maybe we could find clues in your words.”

Catcher left out the part about his own interrogation towards Stacey for even more information. Even the smallest things; did she tell you what she ate today? Has she ever talked about me? Ever even mentioned my name in any of your conversations? Stacey sometimes went nuts with Catcher’s questions; “If I find out more, I PROMISE you, I will let you know immediately. No I don’t know what she ate today, no she has not mentioned you in today’s conversation, mainly because we talked about things that I could, in no way possible, not find a way to get you mentioned in, even though it is a challenge to get your name involved in a conversation about _periods_.”

“For some weird reason we never thought of going over to your presumed old and empty apartment. We never figured you could have stopped by to collect a few things, maybe even tell the landlord where to send any mail to. Last night we talked about maybe going to every place you used to go to, whether it was for relaxation or work purposes and hopefully memories came to mind about you that could give us clues to where you could be now. That was when I remembered I still had your key. I did not tell Stacey or Joe about this last night because I did not want to get their hopes up yet. I figured I would stop by here first and hope for any clues before I told them about it.”

Catcher took another sip from his coffee, giving himself time to recollect his thoughts and think of how to continue. Jenna’s face was as white as a sheet, she had no idea about any of this. Catcher needed to chose his words wisely, he didn’t want to frighten her too much, but she also needed to know how much the people around her loved and missed her … including himself, but that was for a later concern. Right now it was most important to make her see that she really needed to get in touch with her family and friends. He would talk to her about his feelings when the time was right. Maybe she did not even feel the same way anymore as he did. Maybe she was even involved with someone else already.

Jenna could not believe what she was hearing. She had always known how worried Stacey was and she knew Stacey cried every time they talked, just like she had done every time she called her. But why hadn’t Stacey ever told her more? If she had ever picked up any signs about that darn detective, wouldn’t Jenna have stopped her from doing so and told her where she was? She would have done so in a flash, without thinking.

“When I got here, I noticed the name on your mailbox had not changed yet. I hoped that maybe they had not found new tenants yet and maybe they would also not have changed the locks to your door yet. I just went for it. I had to try. I knew I would regret it later if I would not have done so. I knew I was taking a huge risk, I _was_ breaking an entering. But I did not care about that, I thought it was more important to find you than to worry about a slight possible chance of breaking into someone else’s apartment.”

“When I got to this door and tried to turn the key, I could not believe my luck; the locks had not changed yet. That could only mean that no new tenants had moved in here yet. I had only planned to look around for a few minutes and look for any left items that could give away where you might be right now. Maybe even a scribble with your new address in Boston. You should have seen Stacey’s face when she received your package with Christmas presents. She actually hugged the mailman! It took her 2 hours before she even considered opening it, she needed to find any clue of your hide out first, before she opened the package and maybe ruined any clues on the box. She already knew that she would not find it inside anyway. “

“She found the little mail stamp, stating it was sent from Boston and she just went insane, jumping up and down in the living room. She got on the phone to that detective immediately to tell him to focus on Boston.”

“I can’t believe Stacey would go so far to find me. I told her not to worry and that I am fine. I told her not to look for me, that I would come to them when the time was right. If she had told me any of this, I would have told her where I was a lot sooner. If only I had really known any of this, I would never have put you all through this.”  
“But can you really blame them for just wanting to know where you are? All she wanted to know was where you were and know that you were alright. She would not have visited you, because she knew you were not ready for that. She never told you about this, because she knew you would come back home straight away and she knew how important this period of alone time was for you. She only did this with you in mind. You were never supposed to find out about that detective. I promised that I would never tell you this. I know she is probably going to be mad at me for breaking my promise, but I also feel that you deserve the whole truth.”

Tears rolled down Jenna’s face. She just could not believe what her friend and brother had done for her. Now she understood why she still had not been able to buy a house; they spent their saved money on a stupid detective to find her. How could she have been so selfish?

Catcher wanted desperately to take her in his arms and tell her everything would be alright and that she should not punish herself so much. She had her own good reasons for doing what she has done. He was too scared to go over to her and actually do just that. He was not sure how she would react.

“H-how much have they spent on that detective?”  
“Not a single penny.” Catcher said, looking a bit sheepish. Hoping that she would not ask further.  
“I don’t understand, a detective does not work for free. How could they not have paid anything?”  
“That is because they think that the bill will come after the case is closed.”  
“But….?”   
“I have taken care of that for them. They deserve that house they want so much. I have seen it and it is perfect for them.”  
“But why? Why would you do that? Why would you spend so much money on me when you are still furious with me?”  
“Who said anything about being ‘furious’?”  
“Don’t pretend you do not remember the last time we spoke or the way you looked at me when you saw me walking down the street 3 weeks ago”  
“I have not forgotten our last meeting, Jen, but I also remember our friendship we used to have. I don’t hate you, if that is what you think. I only tried to make it very obvious that day that I thought you were making a very big mistake and that I could not stay to witness that. Especially not after I just admitted what I felt for you and, let’s face it, how you felt for _me_ too.”

Catcher wanted to add ‘and hopefully still feel for me too’ but he was too afraid to voice his hopes and dreams just now.

“Right, then why did you look at me like I was scum when I ran into you recently?”  
“I think I would have remembered running into you.”  
“Don’t deny it Catcher, I know you saw me, you looked me right in the eyes!”

“Listen, don’t think it was easy for me too, alright? My best friend was missing and she refused to contact me in any way.”  
“BECAUSE YOU WERE MAD AT ME! You thought I did that on purpose?” Jenna was furious again. How could he deny they ran into each other 3 weeks ago? At least she also now knew that his feelings for her have changed or else he would not have spoken in past tense. Jenna’s heart broke all over again.

“I know that. I know you would not contact me because of the way I left you after that fight we had. I regretted walking out of this apartment the second I left this building, but I was too afraid to turn back. I was too afraid that you would not even let me in. I have started to phone you so many times that week, yet I chickened out every time and hung up before I finished dialling your number. I was the one who made the biggest mistake and I had no idea how to make it better again.”

“After the wedding everyone started a crazy search party to find you, myself included. Everyone just wanted to make sure that you were okay. A big relief fell when you finally contacted Stacey at the end of the weekend. Still most of us never gave up searching for anything that could lead us to your whereabouts. Up to the point where I thought I saw your face in almost every woman I saw walking down the street. Recently I even gave this one woman an ugly stare only because my mind thought it was you. I got so mad at myself that the woman must have thought I was insane or something.”

“Was she wearing a red coat?”  
“Yes… h-how did you know?”  
“That **WAS** me! You gave me a stare as if you wished me dead.”  
“It _was_ you? But … I don’t understand. How long have you been in New York? I figured you hopped around from place to place. You have not been here all this time?”  
“I _have_ been here all this time. I left the chapel and drove around for so many hours and before I realised it I ended up back here. I figured it would be the last place anyone would look for me, since everyone thought I moved out.”  
“But … forgive me for asking this … how have you paid for this place? How have you afforded for it for all this time?”  
“I have a job. The Monday after the wedding I went back to Nancy Brown and asked her for my job back. I now work as a secretary for one of our reporters. The reason why no one, including you, knows about this is because I asked her not to tell anyone I worked for her again.”  
“Now I understand why Nancy wanted me to stop by so badly when I spoke to her a few weeks ago. She never said why though. She wanted me to run into you, that way she kept her promise to you.”

“When did you find out I did not get married?” Jenna couldn’t help herself, she just had to know.  
“About 15 minutes after your brother married Stacey.”  
“Huh???? _That fast???_ Oh, that’s right, your brother and his family were there too. Wow, Carry must have run outside to find a phone then.”

 

Finally a smile came to Catcher’s face as he thought back to that day and how his sister-in-law frantically tried to get in touch with him and tell him the good news.

“You should have seen her run down the street, trying to find a phone. It was actually quite funny. When she actually spotted me, I even had to control my laughter, I have never seen her run this fast ever.”  
“But I thought she stayed for the party?”  
“She did, she even danced with one of your brothers.”  
“How do you know all this?”  
“Because I was there, I thought you knew that.”  
“When were you there?”  
“The day of the wedding, Jen.”

Again he called her Jen, but this time Jenna did notice. Maybe, just maybe, things could turn out better than she had figured. She just did not understand how he could lie about being at the wedding when she knew that he had not been there.

“No, you weren’t. I checked the entire crowd of people at the chapel and you were not there. Don’t lie to me, Catcher.”  
“I didn’t make it to the wedding, I was too late. I broke so many speed records to try to make it on time, but I arrived when the last guests left the chapel. I could not believe my luck, I heard everyone talk about what a happy couple ‘they’ were. I assumed you got married then. That was when I noticed Carry running down the street like a maniac, trying to find a phone and kill me verbally for not making it on time.”

“I don’t believe you! If you were there, why hasn’t Stacey ever mentioned it?”  
“Because she thought it best at first not to say anything yet. After about a month I guess she lost her nerve to tell you. But I really was there, Jen. I even talked to Carson at the party when he was so drunk we could have dressed him up in a Tutu.”  
“But I thought you didn’t want to see me ‘make the biggest mistake of my life’.”  
“I didn’t, but I also made a promise to you when you asked me to come to the wedding. I promised you I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I also hoped that maybe you might change your mind in the end and come to your senses in time. I guess that prayer was answered….. I guess I also hoped that if you saw me, you would realise how much I loved you and that you would rethink your choice of husband…”

“What made you change your mind in the end? Why didn’t you marry Carson after all? When I spoke to you last, you said that you had no choice, that you had to marry him, even if it would make you unhappy for the rest of your life.”  
“Because a friend told me I would be making the biggest mistake of my life. He pointed out to me that I wasn’t in love with him at all. I thought an awful lot about what you said that week before the wedding. Your words kept running through my head. I started to dread the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life more and more. Questions kept going through my head; am I really making the right decision? Am I really doing the right thing? Why marry someone you are not in love with? Why risk losing friends, just because you think it is the right thing to do to marry someone who actually cheats on you? Am I really doing this for me or for my parents?”  
“I was so proud of you when Carry told me you left him at the altar. I still curse the day I actually overslept and missed seeing the look on that bastard’s face when you told him you would not go through with it. Carry said she could not help herself and clapped, knowing Carry, you have probably heard her do so.”  
“Yes, I did. That gave me more confidence in what I was doing was right.”

“So what are we going to do now?” They asked each other simultaneously.  
“I would like for us to be friends again, if you’ll have me.” Catcher beat Jenna to the punch by asking her first.  
“I would like that very much. I think I need to be amongst friends again. Are you really not mad at me anymore?”  
“I couldn’t even if you tried. Just promise me one thing; if ever one of your friends suspects your date to be unworthy of you, just listen to them.”  
“I promise!”

Another question burned both their minds, but both were still not brave enough to ask it out loud; ‘what are we going to do about what I still feel for you?’ One thing was for sure; they both still felt the same.

“Right, the first thing I am going to do now that you are stupid enough to let me into your life again is put you in my car and drive you up to your family who are worried sick.”  
“My mother is not as worried as you might believe her to be.”  
“Oh yes, she is”  
“I talked to her last night and she was actually still pretty mad with me. She even still stands up for Carson, can you believe that? My father told me he never was mad with me, just disappointed that I had not contacted him sooner.”  
“Can you blame him?”  
“No, not really.”  
“I’m very glad you finally contacted your parents though. Just think of their faces when you all of a sudden show up at their doorstep again.”

“To be very honest, I really appreciate that you would drive me up to my family, but I am not very sure how receptive they will be of you. You are still that ‘divorced man’, remember?”  
“Don’t worry about that. Your father thinks I’m a hero because I have tried everything I could to find you. Your mother is still a weird woman, sorry to say so. She indeed still worships the Jackson family and still thinks you made a stupid mistake, but I am sure she will turn around once you will show up one day with the man you are destined to be with.”  
“Thanks, Catch. I missed you, you know?”  
“You have no idea how much I have missed you over the last 3 months.” As he said this he hugged Jenna so tightly, she had difficulty breathing.”  
“Now, before we go though, you need a shower and some clean clothes. Why don’t you get in that shower and I will pack up some things for your trip home. If you leave the door unlocked, I will put some clothes for you on the sink.”

When Jenna left for the shower, Catcher finally got a chance to look around the apartment. It looked nothing like he remembered it. No furniture, no decorations, not even a Christmas tree. Catcher remembered how much Jenna loves Christmas so that really came as a surprise. The bedroom was an even worse surprise. He found the same mattress on the floor that he had overslept on the night before the wedding. There was a pathetic blanket crumpled on top of it. A pile of clothes graced the only real piece of furniture in the corner: a chair. He packed a few items and went in search of a bag to put it all in.

After he put the bag at the door, he quietly made his way towards the telephone and dialled Stacey’s number.  
“Stace? It’s me, Catcher. Listen, I think I found something and I am coming right over. Go to Joe’s parents and wait there.”  
Before Stacey could ask for more, Catcher had hung up. In no way did he want anyone to know what that ‘something’ was. If Stacey found out it was Jenna, she would have jumped in the car and drove up here before Catcher even would have had a chance to get Jenna into _his_ car. No, this was going to be his Christmas present to Jenna’s family. He was certain that no other present would compete with that!

30 minutes later, Jenna got into Catcher’s car. Before they left, Jenna had asked her neighbour to look after Mr. Mister for a few days and then she had run back into her apartment to get Catcher’s Christmas present without him noticing.

“I need to ask you this, Jen. What happened to your apartment? There is absolutely no furniture in there, why is it so empty? Why are you doing this to yourself?”  
“I am still saving up for something nice. I sold everything when I moved back, so I didn’t have anything left. All I had left was that couch and that mattress. I was actually waiting for the sale to start. Only 2 more weeks and then I will be furnitured again.”  
“Oooooh, need help? I am good at ‘furnituring’ people.” Catch couldn’t help himself, now he had his friend back again; he had to tease her again. It also might have something to do with the fact that he was deeper in love with her than ever before.


	35. 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 31**

“You actually called the hospital about me?”

They had just made their way out of New York and Catcher had pulled down the top because Jenna looked as if she needed some air. The sun wasn’t shining, but the weather wasn’t bad either. They had another 2 hours ahead and Catcher knew that Jenna was nervous as hell. The only way he knew how to relax her a bit was by talking to her about anything…. Well … he knew another way too, but that was not yet optional, hopefully soon though.

“Of course I did. What if something serious had happened, I couldn’t let you die in the hallway, now could I?”  
“I would not have died from that soft slap you gave me….”  
“Soft slap? A ‘soft slap’ does not make your nose bleed OR give you a black eye. Admit it, I hit you hard and it still hurts too…”  
“No it doesn’t…..”  
“Yes it does. I grew up with 7 brothers remember? I KNOW how to defend myself, they all tried to teach me when I was younger. By the time Joey tried to, my hook was so good that I gave him quite a few black eyes.”  
“I will still deny everything. I will never admit you did this. If people ask I _will_ tell them I was robbed down the street.”  
“I take that as a compliment. Just as long as you know that I _will_ tell everyone the truth.”

“So, how do you think everyone will react when you show up with me at the doorstep? Are you sure I am still welcome?”  
“Let me answer you this way; I made a telephone call to Stacey and told her I ‘found something’, I will bet you this car that your entire family will be at your parents.”  
“You are willing to bet this car? So if even one of my little nephews is not there, I get your car? I like that idea.”  
“Ouch, didn’t think this through, ehm … all your brother’s and their wives will be there, except if one of them is in labour or something.”  
“You are on. I love my Beetle, really I do, but I would not mind having a convertible too. I might give it another paintjob though … hmmmm.”  
“But, if they are all there and I am right, what will I get?”  
“Then I will admit you were right.”  
"No no, you will not get away with it that easily. I want a Christmas present if I am right. And I want it with Christmas too, not a few days later.”  
“Done!”

Jenna felt her pocket to make sure that Catcher’s present was still tucked away safely. She had bought his present 3 weeks ago, just before she had run into him that one afternoon. She had bought him a pocket watch. It was a bit more expensive than she had intended to spend, but when she saw it in the window, it screamed Catcher’s name. She had meant to get it engraved too, but was too scared to after she ran into him a little later.

“I wish you good luck then. Your family is never going to let you go once they see you. How do you think you will get that present by tomorrow anyway?”  
“I have some ideas. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. You just worry about how you are going to get to your brother without a car.”  
“Shops are not opened tomorrow so there is no need for you to borrow _my_ car then. I also want bonus points if most of your nieces and nephews are there; you know the more of them, the better the present…”  
“Dream on, Catch.”

“Will you stay once we get there? Or will you go to your brother straight away?”  
“That all depends on you, to be very honest. Do you want me to stay? If you don’t, I perfectly understand.”  
“I’d like it if you stayed. Would you mind? I would also understand if you would like to get to your brother straight after we arrive. Will you say hi to them for me?”  
“If you would like me to stay then I will stay. Hoyt will understand if I don’t show up today. I think he will be just as happy as the rest of us to hear you are back again. Besides, I cannot leave until you have given me that Christmas present. I told you I am not leaving without it.”

“I’m scared to go, Catch. I have been gone for so long and I hurt quite a lot of people.”  
“Stop worrying. I promise you everything will be fine. I will be right behind you, if you need me. Why are you so certain that they won’t be as happy as I know they will be?”  
“Because I hurt them, especially my parents. What if they all feel the same way as my father? How am I ever going to make it up to them? I wouldn’t blame them if they never forgave me at all.”  
“I am not going deny that what you did wasn’t smart, you did something that was fully unnecessary. By that I mean that you did not contact _anyone_ and let them know where you were. _But_ on the other hand, you did have your own good reasons to do so. You needed time to figure out your life before you faced the world again. In the end you apparently needed more time for this. Don’t worry about forgiveness, they are your family and they love you; there is nothing to forgive.”  
“Will you ever forgive me for almost marrying Carson when I did not love him?”  
“What did I just tell you?”  
“You are not officially family, Catch.”  
“There is still nothing to forgive. I love you Jen and you made the right decision in the end, didn’t you? You realised just in time that you were about to make a mistake.”

Catcher picked up Jenna’s hand from her lap and kissed the back of it.

“Don’t worry, love, everything will be fine, I promise”

 _‘Love’, he called me ‘love’ again. I have missed that. If only he still meant it the way I do for him…_

~

“We’re here, Jen. Why don’t you stay in the car and wait till I come and get you. Relax, baby, you’ll be fine once they really believe it is you.”  
“Just hurry, please? I am so very nervous now.”  
“Just relax, I will be right back.”

Jenna watched as Catcher made his way to the front door. Almost immediately the door was opened and she saw her father stand in the doorway. She saw Catcher say something to her father who went back inside. Catcher looked over his shoulder and gave Jenna a wink, hoping it would help her relax a little bit. He had parked the car in the shade of the big Burch tree so Jenna wasn’t really visible from the doorway. Her father had not seen her yet.

Her father stepped outside again, wearing shoes this time. Also more of her family members walked outside, including her mother, Stacey, Joe and her twin brother Jim. “Follow me, it’s in the car” she heard Catcher say and everyone made their way towards the car.

Catcher made his way to the passenger seat and opened the door for Jenna and held out his hand for Jenna to grab to help her get out of the car. When she put her feet on the ground and stood up she saw every mouth wide open, not knowing what to say. The only person who actually made a sound was Stacey who started screaming and ran over to her best friend, almost knocking over a few family members, even Catcher was pushed aside roughly.

“Is it really you? Tell me it’s true. Tell me I am not imagining things here.”  
“I’m so sorry, Stace. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Jenna kept repeating herself as she hugged Stacey tightly. How could she have been so incredibly stupid as to shut Stacey out from her life? How could she have been so stupid as to turn away from the one person who could help her best? Stacey looked so thin too, just like Catcher does. Slowly more family members made their way towards Jenna, finally believing that she was really here. They were not delusional, it really was Jenna.

Jenna’s tears kept streaming down her face as she hugged and kissed every brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew and finally her mother who was crying as much as she was. Her own mother repeating the words to her daughter which Jenna still hadn’t stopped saying ever since she had hugged Stacey.

“I am so sorry, Jenna. Please never leave us like this again.”

It took her over 30 minutes before Jenna was finally inside the house and was able to sit down again. She couldn’t find Catcher anywhere, but she knew he was still here. His car was still outside and she knew she had lost the bet with him and thus Catcher’s car was still his. She spotted him finally in the corner of the living room. Trying to make himself as invisible as he could, but not wanting to leave at all. Jenna wanted to get up and thank him for everything he had done since he broke into her apartment the night before, but she did not get a chance yet. Her family wanted to know everything that had happened since she had run out of that chapel almost 3 months ago.

They talked for hours, Jenna could not remember ever answering so many questions in her life. But she didn’t mind, she was actually so happy to see her entire family again. She also heard from her family what they had done to find her and how much Catcher had helped them in trying. The thought of her brother Jim actually trying to find where the tracks of her tires went to from where she had parked her car and of course drove away from in her wedding dress made her giggle. She heard the story about Carry running around trying to find a telephone again and finally allowed herself to laugh about it.

After 3 hours Jenna finally found the time to walk up to Catcher to thank him. He had sat in a corner of the room all that time and never said a word, only listened to Jenna and her family talk about the last 3 months.

“Hey” she said, shy all of a sudden.  
“Hey’ Catcher replied as he got up from his hide away corner. “How are you feeling now?”  
“Pretty crap to be honest.” Jenna was forcing her face to stay straight which was not as easy as she thought, especially when Catcher looked at her with a puzzle on his face.  
“Wh…. Why? I thought you were happy to see your family again.”  
“Oh I am so happy about that. I have been so stupid all these months.”  
“But … Why do you feel so bad then?”  
“I was actually looking forward to trips to my parents in that convertible. I guess my Beetle will have to keep doing that for now.”

Catcher’s mouth fell open in surprise of that comment; he had definitely not expected that answer. Before Catcher could say anything, Jenna threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Thank you so much, Catch. You have no idea what it means to me what you did today” she said as fresh tears feel down her face again. She looked him deep in his eyes again and without thinking kissed him softly on his lips again and then returned to him arms, realising that that kiss wasn’t the best idea. What had she done now? She finally had her friends and family back and she already ruins it by kissing the one friend she had dreamt of for so long yet knew she would probably never be answered in feelings in return.

They stood there, holding each other, for what felt like hours. Both did not notice that everyone had left the room and that they were all alone. Even Jenna’s father had left the room, though with a grunt. Muttering something like ‘I don’t care if she has been gone for 3 months, she’s not married and I still do not approve of this in my house’. Maggie actually swatted her husband and told him to hush and leave them alone for a while.

Though her mother would still like to see her only daughter make things up with the Jackson family and marry Carson, she also noticed how much in love she was with Catcher and how perfect they were for each other. Maggie had seen how Catcher had helped in trying to find Jenna, maybe he even tried the most. She had noticed the bags under his eyes grow bigger and bigger every time they had seen each other over the 3 months Jenna was missing.

After 15 minutes Catcher finally tried to let Jenna go, though Jenna was reluctant to let go at first. She felt so safe and warm when he held her. She just knew that this was right; he was the one she was destined to be with. If only he felt the same. She would try to find that out very soon. She didn’t know how, but she needed to know soon. Though she did not know what she was going to do if he really did not feel the same way anymore.

“You are very welcome.” Catcher replied to Jenna’s remark from 15 minutes earlier. All of a sudden a smile grew wider and wider on his face, realising something.

“I want my Christmas present … I won that fair and square. I will give you 1 hour to get me one and it better be good because your entire family was here including all the kids. I wish you good luck.”  
“It’s not Christmas yet, so I’m not giving you anything yet.”  
“You lost a bet, love.”  
“I know that, but it is still not Christmas yet so I still do not have to give you anything. Had you asked for a normal present THEN the hour would have been applicable.”  
“No no no, I want it in an hour.”  
“You know what, I will let you know in an hour that I got you something and I will give it to you either with Christmas or when I see you after Christmas.”  
“But that is not fair.”  
“Yes it is. You keep forgetting every year that a _Christmas present_ is given with Christmas, not before.”  
“And I have to remind you every year that when it comes to Christmas presents I have no patience!”  
“I know _that_ too. Now, why don’t we go and see if dinner is almost ready, I am starving.”

And before Catcher could say anything Jenna sprinted out of the living room, leaving Catcher alone. When she reached the hallway she made sure he heard her giggle and went in search of her best friend slash sister-in-law. She found her in the kitchen along with almost everyone else. Every face turned to Jenna at the same time and expected Catcher to follow her, hopefully even maybe holding Jenna’s hand.

“Mum? When is dinner? Do I still have time to go for a walk with the latest addition to our family?”  
“That’s alright dear, but don’t stay out too long. Dinner is almost ready. Is 20 minutes enough for now?”  
“After being gone for 3 months? Not really, but 20 minutes will do for now.”  
Everyone, including Stacey, was surprised when Jenna grabbed Stacey by her hand and led her out of the kitchen.

“What’s the matter? You look surprised, you do know you are the last one to join our clan, do you?”  
“For a minute I thought you were talking about someone else when you said you were going for a walk.”  
“Who was I going to bring? Did you think I was going to take baby Dolly for a walk? She doesn’t really talk back when I ask her questions.”  
“You know perfectly well who I am talking about, Jen. Stop acting like you don’t.”  
“He’s nothing more but a friend, Stace.”  
“Not if you give him a chance.”  
“I don’t think he feels that way anymore though.”  
“Are you kidding me? Are you blind? Jen, he is so badly in love with you that my eyes hurt.”  
“I don’t think so, Stace. He’s over me, I can see it.”  
“Then you are definitely looking in the wrong direction. If he didn’t feel that way about you anymore do you think he would be here now? He told me last night that he was going to go to his brother first thing in the morning and he gave me a phone number where I could reach him in case you called me again. Sweetheart, he loves you, you are just too scared to see it. If you would open your eyes, you would see what everyone sees.”  
“I don’t know, Stace. What if you are wrong? What if what we are imagining we are seeing is not what we are seeing at all? What if he really only sees me as his friend?”  
“If that is the case I will leave your brother and go live with nuns!”  
“This is not a joke, I am serious!”  
“So am I! Just look for the signs over dinner, if you still think I am wrong I will take back everything I said, but I know I won’t have to because I know I am right, just like everyone here knows it.”

~

“I wish I didn’t, but I really have to leave now, love. Are you alright now?”  
“Never been better” And that was the truth, she had never felt better in her life. Her entire family finally did not treat her like a little girl and they all actually listened to her when she spoke. She also had her best friends with her and Christmas was only 3 more hours away. If only Catcher could stay, though she would never ask that of him.  
“I’m glad to hear that, love. Now, I will forgive you for now for not having a Christmas present for me though you do owe me one, but I am not so bad and I will give you an extra 2 days to complete that task. I will be back in two days to pick it up and you better have something good for me.”

Jenna did not say anything and just smiled at him. Catcher still had no idea that his present already sat waiting for him in his car. She left it there when he went to go get her family all those hours ago.

“Merry Christmas, Catch”  
“Merry Christmas, love.”

Catcher gave her another hug and kissed her on her temple. He dared not to give her one closer to her mouth or he knew he would lose the little restraint he had left. All throughout dinner he had noticed that Jenna kept watching him and every time she noticed that he had seen it, she smiled at him and forced herself to mix into the conversations around her. He had also noticed that whenever she thought he was looking another direction again, her eyes would fix on him again. He had never been so happy to see the end of a wonderful dinner. He knew Jenna would help her mother and sisters-in-law with the dishes and that would give him time to get his own raging hormones under control again.

Unfortunately Joe never gave him much chance for that.

“Catcher, can we talk?”  
“Sure, are you okay?”  
“Yeah, yes, I am fine. Maybe we should go outside so no one will interrupt us.”

Catcher got nervous all of a sudden. Why would Joe want to speak to him in private? Was he mad for not contacting him when Jenna was found? Surely he wasn’t mad that he was still here and had not left for his own brother yet?

“Dude, don’t worry. I am not mad at you, you are my hero”

Apparently Catcher’s worries showed

“I just wanted to talk without anyone else overhearing us. Just wanted to know how you are doing? I mean, it must have been quite a shock to run into my sister when you least expected it.”  
“You could say that. And I also had not quite expected the welcome she gave me.”  
“That is definitely some nasty black eye, it’ll definitely shine for another few days. How are things going between the two of you? I mean, can I welcome you to the family yet?”  
“Not yet, I am afraid. I’m not even too sure that that will ever happen.”

Joe was about to interrupt Catcher, wanting badly to tell him otherwise.

“No, wait, let me finish. I love her, with all my heart and more and I think Jenna still feels that same way too. She just needs time, she needs assurance that I still feel the same way. I also think she needs some form of courtship, do you know what I mean? Showing her I am serious and how much I feel for her.”  
“She does really love you, it’s not really hard to tell. But I think you are right about needing time. You know about her past and the lack of boyfriends she has had, and then she finally has one in the form of Carson. Not really a confidence booster, is it? I am sure that my lovely wife will help in the process though. She wants to see Jenna happy and she definitely wants Jenna to move on and forget about Carson as fast as possible.”

Catcher felt really good after his chat with Joe. At least he knew that Jenna’s family was behind him. All he had to do now was convince Jenna of the same thing. He knew she still felt for him and that was enough for now. He just really regretted to be going to his brother now. He could have taken her with him, Carry would love that. But he could not take her away from her family so short after being reunited with them again.

“I will be back in a few days to pick up my present. How long would you like to stay here?”  
“I have 2 weeks off, but I have not thought about that yet. I think I would like to stay for a week or so. How long will you stay with you brother? You don’t have to stay as long too, I can ask Joe to drive me back to the city.”  
“No way. Now that I have you back, no one is driving you back home.

I really have to go now. You have a wonderful Christmas. I will call you soon, promise.”

Catcher kissed her temple again and then got in his car. He really needed to leave now or else he would lose his resolve to take things slow. She felt so right in his arms.

20 minutes after he left, he noticed Jenna’s vest was still in the seat next to him. As he picked it up to smell that typical Jenna smell that he loved so much, he noticed something else. She left more than just her vest in the car. Catcher put the vest aside and looked at what else she had left behind. When he noticed it was a present he stopped the car immediately, figuring that it was for Jenna’s family.

When he picked it up, he could not help reading the name on the present which read his own name!


	36. 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 32**

Jenna woke up Christmas morning after another night dreaming of Catcher. The only difference was that this time it did not feel like torture anymore, it actually felt like a wonderful dream. Of course she woke up all turned on, just like she did every morning, but it did not bother her this time.

She already heard her mother in the kitchen, preparing for dinner that evening she was sure. She heard the telephone ring, which probably meant that one of her brothers would be on their way soon. She heard her father flush the toilet and make his way downstairs to greet his wife.

She has never been so happy in all her life. She actually enjoyed hearing all these routines she had heard all her life. She heard her mother walk up the stairs and Jenna knew that her mother would come and wake her up. Her mother would ask her to come downstairs for breakfast and that the first of the Christmas guests were on the way. Just like she had expected the door opened and her mother came through the door.

“Good morning, dear. It’s time to wake up now. Breakfast is ready and I have a telephone call for you”  
“Telephone? For me? Who is it?”  
“You will just have to answer it to find out, won’t you?”  
“I bet it’s Stacey, to find out if I am still here, haha.”

“Hi Stace” Jenna said as she picked up the phone. “Merry Christmas. When are you coming over? Your hubby is still asleep, but if you want I could wake him up for you … you know, Jenna-style heh heh heh.”  
“Jenna-style?” a much lower voice than she had expected answered. “And what is that like? Would I want to find out?”  
“Catcher!” Jenna squeaked with surprise. “What are you doing on a telephone this early in the morning?”  
“First of all, wishing you a merry Christmas and second; I wanted to thank you for the present. How did you do that? When did you get it? You were with all of us all day and no one left when I was there.”  
“Now that is for me to know and for you to … always keep guessing. Di… did you like it?”  
“I love it, where did you get this?”  
“I found it in a small antiques shop a while ago, right before you ran into me that day. I had wanted to engrave it too, but I guess I chickened out. If you like, I can still have that done.”  
“I’d like that.”  
“When did you find it hidden in your car? I left it there before I even got out of it to greet my family.”  
“I noticed your vest about 20 minutes after I left and when I picked it up I found this little present that I feared you had forgotten. Had I not checked the name on it, I would have driven back immediately.”  
“I had kind of hoped you would not find it until you were getting everything out of the car at your brother’s. I hope you now feel bad about opening it too early.”   
“I don’t feel guilty at all …”  
“Well you should. Next year I am keeping it from you again until it’s Christmas.”  
“But, if you would have let me finish, I _did_ wait until this morning”  
“Yes you did and Mr. Mister told me that Easter bunnies fly!”  
“It’s true! It was the hardest thing I ever had to do … present wise I mean. I actually gave it to Carry to keep safe, just so I would not open it any sooner. I asked her for it back 10 seconds past midnight but Carry would not give in. She MADE me wait until morning. I will get her back for that, I will make her pay.”  
“So you are telling me that you actually waited with opening your _Christmas present_ until _Christmas_?”  
“Yes” Catcher said with pride.  
“And I have to believe you?”  
“Yes!”  
“Wow! I am proud of you. Don’t you feel good about that too?”  
“Nope. Worst 10 hours of my life. I told you; Christmas presents are meant to be opened immediately. Unless I give them, then the receiving end DOES have to wait.”  
“I don’t think I will ever understand your rules.”  
“You will get used to them some day, don’t worry.”  
“That’s what I am afraid of.”  
“Now I feel guilty for not getting you anything. I was too scared to buy anything, didn’t want to jinx anything, you know?”  
“You are forgiven. But that DOES mean you will get me something even better for my birthday, you do know that, right?”  
“The bestest I can find, scout’s honour.”  
“ _Scout’s honour?_? I am not even going to ask.”  
“Good, ‘cause that was just nonsense. I will give you a great present though, promise.”

“Can I phone you again maybe tonight? Maybe after Christmas dinner?”  
“That would be nice. But before 10 though or my parents will not have me answer the phone. Around 9.30?”  
“You just make sure you are by the phone at 9.29. Have a nice day, love. Thanks again for the wonderful present.”

After Jenna hung up, she made her way to the kitchen, where her mother greeted her with breakfast and a smile on her face.  
“He really is nice, isn’t he?”  
“Yeah, too bad he’s got cooties though” Jenna could not help it; she had to joke about it.  
“Isn’t it better to have so called ‘divorce cooties’ than ‘cheating on your fiancé cooties’?”  
“Mum? Is that really you? Are we talking about the same person here?”  
“Sweetheart, over the last few months he has helped us so much trying to find you. I think it’s only fair to change my mind about him, isn’t it? Besides, I have this feeling we are going to be seeing much more of him in the future.”  
“And what do you mean with that? Surely you are not trying to match us up, are you?”  
“Now why would I do such a thing?” Her mother winked at her. Oh yes, her daughter had it bad. She still thought it a petty that the man her daughter was in love with was divorced, but he really was good to her. He seemed very much in love, something she feared was oblivious to her daughter.

After breakfast Jenna was forced upstairs to get dressed. Her brothers and their families would be here soon and there was still a lot to do for the big Christmas dinner that evening. All morning Jenna thought of nothing else but the telephone conversation she had had with Catcher that morning and the prospect of having another one that evening.

Around 2 o’clock everyone was there and Jenna was enjoying herself with all her nieces and nephews. The youngest was now 1 year old and just started walking. All kids were getting more restless as the minutes passed by. They had seen the huge pile of presents and Jenna had quite a hard time keeping them all away from them.

“Mum, dad? Can we start unwrapping presents now? I don’t think I can hold these monsters for much longer.”

And so, 20 minutes later, the floor was covered with wrapping paper, kids were jumping up and down with excitement and all parents were trying to calm them down a bit. Not 1 present for the adults had been opened, solely because everyone was too scared to try and grab one while the children were still unwrapping theirs.

Every year they followed the same procedure; the kids were let loose and were allowed to unwrap all presents with their own name on it. The adults however waited until the children were done and playing with their new toys. This gave the adults time to unwrap their presents without the kids getting bored.

“This one’s yours, Jim” John senior started. Another tradition; John sr. always handed out the presents, making sure that everyone got to unwrap a present in time. It took them a whole lot longer than the kids did, but they at least got time to see what everyone else got. Jenna was touched by the fact that everyone had bought her something for Christmas too, even if they didn’t know she was going to be there.

Finally there was only one present left and Jenna was very surprised when her father handed it to her. She had received presents from all her brothers and her parents, she had no idea who this could come from. As she checked the wrapping paper, she could not find a name on it.

“Dad, are you sure this is mine? I can’t seem to find any name on here.”  
“It’s yours sweetheart, now open it.”

Again, Jenna checked for any clues the giver could have put on it, again nothing was found. She carefully took off the wrapping paper, it was too beautiful (if you can call wrapping paper beautiful) to just tear it open. When she took off the paper and opened the black velvet box, Jenna gasped out loud. Immediately she knew who the giver was.

“Oh my goodness, Catcher didn’t have to do this. This is beautiful.”  
“Can I look?” Stacey almost ripped it from her hands “We have been dying to find out what he got you for weeks now.”  
“What do you mean ‘for weeks’?”  
“That he brought it with him weeks ago.”  
“Yeah, sis, I’m afraid you really owe him a present now. Didn’t I hear him say something about you losing a bet and now you have to buy him a Christmas present?” Joe joined in.  
“I already gave him mine. Though my present was nothing compared to this.”

Jenna was mesmerized by her present. She could not believe he would buy something like this for her. Would he still feel more for her than she had dared to believe up to now? Would he still love her like she did him? She carefully touched the silver of the beautiful necklace, afraid that she might break it.

“Hand it to me, sis. I will put it on for you.”  
“Careful Joey, don’t break it.”  
“Break it? Sissie, it’s not plastic or whatever the crap was Carson bought for you.”  
“Just be careful with it, okay?”

All day, Jenna kept fingering her necklace as if to check if it was still there and she really had not imagined that she was really given such a beautiful present. Now it was even harder to wait until 9.30. For the first time in her life Jenna actually wished for Christmas to end and for the telephone to ring at the end of the day. She just needed to find the right words that showed her appreciation for that present that made her insides go weak every time she touched it or saw it in any reflection of mirrors or kitchen appliances.

Finally most of her brothers left and only her parents, Joe and Stacey were left. Everyone had noticed Jenna grew more restless as time passed. No one knew Catcher was going to call, yet they all had an idea that he would. When finally at 9.29, just like Catcher had said, the telephone rang, Joey got up so quickly to answer the phone that everyone was surprised about his sudden action.

“This is Joe Taylor speaking” he said way too loud for Jenna’s liking.  
“Well, good evening Catcher, how nice of you to call us on this joyous day. How was your day today? Get any good presents?”  
Jenna knew her brother was doing this on purpose, yet she hoped he would really REALLY end this soon. She had been waiting for this phone call all day and now that she had to wait it drove her insane. Unfortunately she knew her brother too well and thus she knew he would try to keep Catcher on the phone for as long as he could.

“So that’s why you have been checking the clock every 20 seconds?” Stacey whispered. “You do know that Joey will take his time?”  
“Do I know… “

It took 5 more minutes before she finally heard her brother say”  
“Jenna? Yes, she should be around here somewhere. Can I give her a message?”  
“Okay, that’s enough, Joe, the joke is over, now hand me the phone and go bug your wife or something.”

“Catch?”  
“Ah, finally. Your brother is great, really he is, but he can be a real bugger when he wants to be.”  
“Tell me about it. You only had to endure it for a few minutes; can you imagine what it’s like to have that live with you your entire life?”  
“So _that_ is the real reason why you moved out and moved to New York! I get it now.”  
“Oh yes, you got me.”  
“So, how was your day today? Had a nice Christmas?”  
“Wonderful” She knew Catcher was fishing for answers about his present to her. It was so much more fun to play it out a little longer.  
“Get any good presents this year?”  
“They were okay, I guess.”  
“Jen? Joke is not working! I know you got it, your brother told me. He just would not tell me if you liked it or not.”  
“Yo-you shouldn’t have, Catch. It must have cost a fortune.”  
“But did you like it?”  
“I love it. It is so beautiful.”  
“Then it was worth every penny. Isn’t that the purpose of a present? So the other can enjoy it?”  
“That’s true… Thank you”  
“I’m glad you like it. I saw it in a shop a few weeks ago and it made me think of you. Come to think of it, I bought it the same day as you bought mine, right before I ran into that woman with a red coat whom I gave a nasty stare.”

“Hoyt and Carry say hi, by the way. They asked if you would like to come and visit them soon. Maybe I can pick you up one day this week?”  
“That would be lovely. I haven’t seen Jenna in ages either, how is she doing?”  
“Oh, you have to see her, she is beautiful.” Whether Catcher was talking about the horse or the woman of his dreams, he did not know. He let Jenna think he was talking about the horse, though…. For now.

They talked for at least half an hour longer, until Jenna’s father cut in and told her the time. They agreed to get in touch again later that week and Jenna would let Catcher know then when she would like to come and visit the farm of Catcher’s brother. Jenna wanted to discuss with her family first. She had of course been gone for 3 months and she was not sure if her family liked it if she was gone to visit other people so soon after she returned home.

As Jenna returned to the living room, all eyes were turned to her; even her parent’s couldn’t help it.

“So? When’s the wedding? You still have a dress that hasn’t been used, I am sure I can book the chapel again if I ask nicely…”  
“Oh har har, very funny, Joey. You just focus on producing kids before you pester me with weddings.”  
“Hey, hang on, don’t you put any ideas in his head. We don’t even have a house yet. Where were you planning on putting these kids?” Stacey joined in.  
“Let your husband take care of that, he’s the one bugging me about non-existent weddings.”

“Talking about houses, Joseph dear, have you heard anything from the realtor yet?” Maggie all of a sudden interrupted.  
“Ehm, well, the house is ours if we want it, but we want to save a few more pennies before we can accept.”  
“How much do you still need?” Jenna asked. She felt so guilty about that detective that they hired.  
“Don’t worry about it, Jen. We’ll get there.”  
“I know you will. How much are you still short?”  
“Only a little bit now. I think in 2 or 3 months we will have all the money we need saved up.”  
“You still have not answered my question, Joey. You have forgotten about 1 thing though.”  
“And what is that?”  
“I still have not given you any present for your wedding yet.”  
“And what does that have to do with our house?”  
“Everything. I want to give you the money you are short. We can go to the bank in 2 days and you can have the key to your new house in 3 days.”  
“Jen, no, I love you but I will not accept that.” Stacey said.  
“Too bad, no one has a say in the presents they are given. I seem to remember that god-awful salad bowl Uncle Martin gave Carson and me for our wedding. Once it’s given, you can’t give it back.”  
“Jen, that salad bowl and your gift are two complete different things.”  
“Correct, I hated the thought of that salad bowl, but I know how much you love that house. I will not change my mind, no matter what you say.”

It took Jenna another hour to convince her brother and sister-in-law to accept the money. Even her parent’s tried to get Jenna off of the idea, but Jenna would not give in. She had seen the happiness in both Joe’s and Stacey’s eyes when they thought about maybe being able to move into their house 2 to 3 months sooner than expected and that alone made Jenna more determined to give them that money. They agreed to go to the realtor in 2 days and find out what needs to be done next.

~

Jenna and Stacey still had not found any time to catch up, besides those 15 short minutes they had the day before. Jenna was dying to find out if Stacey liked her married life so far, what her wedding night was like and how she was coping with living separately. Stacey of course wanted to know everything Jenna had been up to over the last 3 months, about her job, but mostly about Catcher and how Jenna felt about him and what she was going to do about it.

It took 2 more days before they finally found some time to chat and even that was not an easy thing to finally accomplish. They had gone to the bank that morning to finalize the mortgage on the new house, after that Jenna accompanied Joe and Stacey to the realtor to finish up the sale and finalize on all the hows and whens and they were told that in a week time they would be able to move in to their new home.

To celebrate they took Jenna out to lunch where they unfortunately ran into Carson. He made this big scene where he called Jenna many names of which ‘slut’ was probably the friendliest one. He told her Jenna was the one to blame for their failed relationship and had she given him what he wanted they would still be together and probably happily married.

“So, let me get this straight; you are accusing ME of our disaster people called relationship? You are telling me that you are the one who ended what we had?”  
“What? You think you did?”  
“I think I am safe to say that I actually have about 100 witnesses that I decided that continuing with this relationship was not a wise thing to do”

Jenna made sure that she used the safest words possible. She was definitely not looking for a fight, she wanted nothing to do with him anymore and that included arguments. She knew he was only doing this because his friends were there with him. She knew he only did it to save his own face in front of them. She was never going to give him that satisfaction, but yet she still did not want to talk to him at all.

“And how are you and your new victim doing? Is he also still ‘on hold’? Or have you been fucking him from day one? Or maybe you have been fucking him all the while you were with me?”  
“New victim? If you are asking me if there is a MAN in my life, then I am afraid you will be very happy to hear that I am not seeing anyone yet. After you I kind of had enough of your species.”  
“How come I have a hard time believing that? That Catcher has been after your ass ever since he met you.”  
“Yet somehow he has been a real gentleman all this time”  
“A gentleman? Oh you mean he let’s you think he enjoys your attempts at a blowjob?”  
“What do you want Carson? You want to hear me say ‘yes, I let him do anything to me his heart desires? That I let him have his wicked ways with me when, how and where he pleases?’ Oh yes, you would love to hear that, wouldn’t you? Maybe you want to hear me say that last night, I let him have me so rough that I screamed so loud that the neighbours came knocking on the door? Petty that I won’t, isn’t it? I never did satisfy you when we were together and now I still won’t…”

Jenna tried to get away from him then. She was angry with herself that despite her intentions not to get into an argument with him she did let him get to her and get into that fight she didn’t want. It was a real shock to run into him, something she had not been quite ready for. But then again, is there ever really a right time to run into someone like him? What surprised her most was the fact that nothing that he tried to throw at her hurt her mentally. He was desperately trying to hurt her, trying to get a reaction from her, but all that really hurt her was the name-calling.

But what hurt her most, strangely enough, was the realisation that, even though she was so deeply in love with Catcher, she wasn’t ready to start a relationship with him. She needed some time before she would be able to give herself to someone else. She just wanted to be sure that she wasn’t rushing into a relationship just because she wanted to get over the Carson-disaster.

Luckily for her, Catcher already realised this very thing before Jenna did. He already knew she would not throw herself in a new adventure with him. That was another reason why he needed to take it slow and court her first.

“Are you okay, Jen?” Stacey asked when they arrived back at the house. “You have been awfully quiet all the way over here. Not that I can really blame you, but maybe you wanted to talk about it?”  
“I don’t know right now. Yes, I am fine, really, but then again I am just so angry right now. How dare he talk to me like that? What have I ever done to him to have him talk to me like that?”  
“It’s not what you have done, but what you haven’t done that bothers him.”  
“Yes, I kind of knew that already, but it is still stupid, at least I think so. How was that between you and my brother then? Did you really wait until your wedding night or was that just a line you told everyone?” Jenna said it with a smile in her eyes, she knew the answer to this already, but maybe it would help her understand her own reasoning for keeping herself from Carson better. She had always thought that she did the right thing. It was one of the few things that her parents had tried to teach her that she agreed to. But then again, how come that Catcher was the one who had her throw her will away? Why had she always been so adamant to wait until her wedding night while with Carson, when one night with Catcher she forgot about that immediately?

Because she never loved Carson.

“JEN! How could you of all people possibly say that of me? I thought you knew me better.”  
“But I also know my brother…”  
“Oh, come on…” But then Stacey finally noticed Jenna’s laughing face and finally found out that Jenna was joking. “You ….. you … meany”  
“And you fall for it every time.”  
“But you never fail to successfully hide the true undertone of your question, no matter how big the joke you wrap it into. You want to know how your brother and I succeeded, don’t you? Well, very honest; it was the hardest thing ever. We both felt this pride over you that you stayed true to your beliefs and we both wanted to try to do the same. On the other hand we also agreed that if we are ever in that situation where we are so intimate and really do not want to stop, we would give up our initial resolve and act upon our desires without regrets afterwards. There were times where we came very close, but actually … ehm … managed around it…”  
“Managed around it? What on earth does that mean?”  
“You know perfectly well what that means and even experienced it once.”  
“But didn’t you feel like that was a form of cheating? I mean, in the end you get the same result, you are just still wearing your clothes while you did it. Or were you already at a point where clothes were gone?”  
“Let’s just say that we got married right on time. I don’t think that if we had waited much longer that I would have had ‘white wedding’. The last 2 months before the wedding we … are you sure you want to hear this? I mean, we _are_ talking about your brother…”  
“No, we are talking about you and your husband. I am trying to forget for now that he is also my brother. If you keep reminding me, I will be too disgusted and you will never be able to tell me about your wedding night and I do really want to know about that. We made a pact about that when we were young, remember?”  
Okay, if you are sure you are okay … The last two months before the wedding we never wore more than just some undies and the last two weeks before the wedding they were really only there for show.”  
“But you did remain true till the end, that is something to be proud of.”  
“But if you did not throw us into an earlier wedding, we would never have made it.”  
“And what was your wedding night like? Was it as beautiful as the world makes it out to be?”  
“Yes and no”  
“Don’t give me that, when I called you 3 days after the wedding you told me it was fantastic. Are you telling me now that you lied then?”  
“No, but I do want to give you a true answer and I will explain what I mean. Yes, it truly was an amazing night, the lovemaking itself was the most wonderful feeling you will ever experience.”  
“But … ?”  
“ _But_ the first time is a bit painful and that takes a bit of the romance away. Joe was so very sweet and very gentle though. He was also so very scared that it was his fault that I was in pain.”  
“Aaaaand then there are some things I do not need to know… you can leave out length and girth … please?”  
“I never even said anything about _that_ yet. I meant that he feared he had been too rough already. But now that you mention _that_ ; I did fear that it would never fit, but I guess a woman’s body is just made for that kind of size.”  
“Stace, please. I really do not need that kind of visual.”  
“You asked for it. Anyway, where was I? Oh right, pain. When the initial pain finally ebbed away, it was really wonderful and the second time was even better. This time there was no pain when he came inside me and that feeling is the most wonderful feeling you will also soon experience, I promise you that. Every time just gets better and better and even now after 3 months I get all giggly when he looks at me and I know what’s on his mind. I mean, when we were younger and I first started dating a guy, the excitement of wanting to kiss the guy all day lasted usually for a week or 3, so I kind of figured that it would maybe also last around that long, but not this time. I just can’t get enough of him, I want him all day every day.”  
“That is beautiful, Stace. I hope that one day I will feel that very same way too.”  
“You will, probably even sooner than you think.”  
“I don’t know, Stace. I know it might sound strange, but I really need some time before I will throw myself in a new relationship.”  
“It’s because of Carson, isn’t it? He really screwed you up emotionally. I wish you would just let me hurt him.”  
“No need, Stace. His pride has been hurt and that is enough for me. I just need to be really sure I am giving myself to anyone for the right reasons and not because I think I might love him.”  
“But the difference this time is that everyone can see how you feel. With Carson, everyone was surprised. No one understood why you dated him. Well, except for your mother maybe. On top of that, we all know the man you love and we all know what a wonderful man he really is. Even your mother likes him and that says a lot if you consider the ‘divorce-cooties’ he used to have.”  
“Do you really think he is right for me then?”  
“I don’t think I have ever seen two people so right for each other … well … besides me and your brother.”  
“Do you think he would understand if I still needed some more time?”  
“Jen, he loves you, if you tell him this, he will not have any problem with it. He has waited for you for so long now, I don’t think a few more months would harm. Just don’t wait too long. You both know how you feel and I know you would both be happiest in each other’s arms.”

They continued to talk for so long that the telephone call from Jenna’s mother telling her that Catcher was there, surprised them both. This had to mean that it was already 7 PM and they had not even had dinner yet. Catcher was supposed to pick her up from her parent’s place at 7 and she would stay with his brother and family for 2 or 3 days and return before New Year’s.

Jenna quickly picked up her coat and raced towards the house she was born in, not wanting to let Catcher wait too long.


	37. 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 33**

“I am so sorry mum, I completely lost track of time.”  
“That is okay, dear. But next time, just let me know you are eating at Stacey’s.”  
“We have not even eaten yet, we have been talking all afternoon and I never realised the time until you rang. I really am sorry.”  
“That is okay, dear. Would you like me to fix you something before you leave?”  
“I don’t know. I don’t know if Catch wants to leave soon again.”  
“Only if you want me to, love” A voice way too close to her ear sounded.  
“Catch!” Jenna squeaked.

What was it with Jenna’s voice whenever Catcher was near?

“Do we have to leave soon? Or can I grab a bite to eat before we leave?”  
“That all depends on how hungry you are. I was going to take you with me straight away, but I think a few more minutes won’t be a problem.”  
“Well, to be very honest, I am not that hungry. Let me just grab my bag and we can be on our way.”  
“But won’t you have a cup of coffee with us first, Catcher? You drove all this way; I couldn’t let you leave without having a drink first.”  
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Taylor, I couldn’t refuse a nice cup of coffee.”

And so another 30 minutes passed before Jenna finally sat down in Catcher’s car and they drove off. Jenna ended up eating a sandwich after all. Catcher actually made her eat something since the drive would take a while and they wouldn’t pass any diners on their way. ‘You might get hungry underway, please just eat something, if only a sandwich’. Don’t you just love that man?

“So what happened? Did you forget I was coming to pick you up tonight?”  
“No, I really am sorry about that. I didn’t forget though, I lost track of time I guess. Stacey and I finally got a chance to talk and I guess we had quite a lot to talk about.”  
“You hadn’t had a chance before?”  
“Nope, my family kept me busy all these days, wanting to know everything I have been up to and if they didn’t keep me occupied, Joey was always around so I still didn’t have a chance to talk to her.”  
“But you have spoken to her over the phone over the last 3 months, right?”  
“Yes, but you can’t say _everything_ you’d like over a telephone. I mean, there is some private stuff that I would not feel comfortable about to discuss over a telephone.”  
“Like what?”  
“eeehhm… intimate stuff, personal stuff.”  
“This is interesting…” Catcher slowed down his pace a bit, just to make sure he wouldn’t miss out anything Jenna might say. Of course he was only kidding with her, but boy, did he love to do just that. “What kind of intimate stuff do you talk about? Do girls really talk about stuff like that?”  
“Don’t you know by now that _women_ talk about anything to each other?” Jenna knew what Catcher was doing, but she love playing along.  
“Anything?”  
“Oh yes, _anything!!_ ”  
“Even sex?”  
“We talk to women about ‘intimate stuff’, we do not tell men what we talk to women about.”  
“So you do talk about sex, and what kind of things do you talk about then? Width? Girth? Stamina?”  
“Like I said; women talk to _women_ about anything and last time I checked, you were not a woman.”  
“You _checked???_ When? When I was out cold a few days ago?”  
“I will not even dignify that question with an answer.”  
“So you did? You naughty girl. Did you like what you saw?”  
“You actually really expect me to take that bait, don’t you?”  
“Oh, yes please!”

It took Jenna a few seconds what Catcher actually meant and only then realized what she had said.

“So you talked about sex, now who was the answering end and who asked all these questions that it took the other a number of hours to answer?” Catcher just could not stop teasing.  
“That was Stacey, she asked me all these kinds of questions on how to please her husband. It took me hours to explain everything to her.”  
“And you expect me to believe that?”  
“Believe whatever you want to believe, I am not telling you anyway.”

~

“Joey told me that he would get his new house in about a week time. He said you knew more about that?”  
“He didn’t tell you? That actually surprises me. He is so proud he is finally moving into his new house with his wife in only a few days time.”  
“But what do you have to do with that? Though I have this feeling I might already know that answer.”  
“I still had not given them a wedding present yet and they really deserve that house, so I donated the missing amount that they needed to get the deal done.”  
“And the other reason?”  
“Don’t you ever say this to them, but I just feel so guilty about that detective that I had to repay that part. If it had not been for me, they would have been able to buy that house 3 months ago.”  
“But if it had not been for you, they would not have been married yet. Believe me that they did not mind spending money on that detective. But I will not say anything if you don’t want me to. It’s a wonderful gift, really.”  
“I am going to help clean up next week, for as long as I am here of course. I mean, I will only be able to help out for a few days before I have to be back at work again. But I think I will help them out every weekend until the house is ready to be moved into.”  
“Do you think they need another pair of hands? I might also be able to help out.”  
“The Great Catcher Block ‘Ladies Man, Mans Man, Man About Town’ is actually willing to get his hands dirty?”  
“All I will say about that remark is that I have a very good memory and I will punish you for your words when you least expect it.”  
“Promises, promises”  
“Oh, don’t you worry, just make sure you keep your eyes open at all times, don’t try to sleep, always watch your back…”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Jenna laughed out loud. She could not believe her own teasing words, what was she doing? This was so unlike her.

~

“I ran into Carson today…”  
“So that’s what’s bothering you… What happened?”  
“He wanted to start this big fight and blame everything on me. He actually tried to tell everyone that he ended things with me! That was actually quite funny. He also tried to accuse me of cheating on HIM!”  
“Of course he did? So who was your victim you cheated him on with?”  
“Who do you think?”  
“Please let that have been me. I would love to be the one you cheated on him with.”  
“Well, apparently you have got the job. He even had the guts to accuse me of giving to you what I wouldn’t give to him!”

“If you look at it, it is true, isn’t it?” Catcher said after 2 minutes of silence.  
“Hmmm? What is true?”  
“We did cheat on him…”  
“I know, I remembered that a little while after I ran into him.” Jenna tried to make it sound as if she had forgotten about her ‘encounter’ with her friend. Truth was that it had not left her mind ever since she realized she _did_ cheat on Carson and that she _had_ almost given Catcher that one thing she never wanted to give Carson.  
“Don’t you dare try to make it sound as if you had forgotten about _that!_ You are a terrible liar, Jen, and you know that!”  
“Na-ha, what I said is true! I did not lie one word!”  
“But the _way_ you said it was an absolute lie!”  
“That’s not the point.”  
“You are terrible, lady”  
“Lady? Anyway, I got him in the end. I wish I could have seen his face after my last remark, I walked away before the words sank into him.”  
“You want to tell me what those words were?”

Jenna could not help blush at the thought of telling Catcher what she had said that afternoon. Did she have the guts to repeat the words she had said to Carson?

“Just give me a few seconds… ehm… how do I say this without embarrassing myself first?”  
“That bad?”

“He said … and this is a direct quote … ‘he’, that means you, ‘let’s me believe he actually enjoys my attempts at a blowjob’…”  
“I only wish…” Catcher whispered too soft for Jenna to hear.  
“So I threw at him that if he wanted to hear me say ‘he’ had me so good last night, the neighbours came knocking at the door to see if I was alright…”  
“oh yes, good one….”  
“Hang on, I am not done yet… anyway, I then told him that if he wanted to hear me say _that_ , he would be very disappointed _again_ , I quote ‘I never did satisfy you when we were together and now I still won’t’”  
“If I wasn’t driving right now, I would kiss you. That is the best thing I have heard all week … well … besides the first words coming from your mouth after I had not seen you for 3 months! I am so proud of you!”  
“Me too” Jenna said with a grin on her face. It meant so much to her that Catcher was proud of her. She was also very happy that Catcher never commented on the whole ‘blowjob’ issue. She only found out from Stacey what that word meant and so far, the thought of actually doing _that_ scared her a bit. Was that normal to do? She had been too scared to ask Stacey about that, so she still had no idea. Though the thought of actually risking to have the neighbours knock on your door to see if she was alright gave her a weird excited feeling. She knew Catcher was able to cause that to happen. She could still feel that feeling Catcher had given her on her couch all this time ago. It had been the most incredible feeling in the world and Jenna would give everything to have Catcher give that feeling to her again.

On the other hand, Catcher could have easily stopped the car and kiss her, just like he told her he would. But truth was that Catcher knew that that would be the wrong thing to do. If he had done so, he might have scared Jenna off and he would be set back so far again that it would take him ages before he might be able to risk another shot at kissing her again. He wanted nothing more but to take Jenna into his arms and kiss her with all the passion he had for her, but to do so, he would need her trust and feeling of security first. He knew she still felt that same way about him as he did about her, but he still had a long way to go before he could act upon his feelings. He had seen the blush on her cheeks before she told him of that blowjob-remark. He wasn’t even sure if she even knew what the word meant.

He loved that innocence about her. He loved her embarrassment about it too. He had been with too many girls in the past who had been virgins too, but they had all pretended to know more than they really did, which had given the occasional embarrassing situation. But with Jenna everything was so different. She was too shy to ask what things meant, but you could see in her eyes that she did want to know, if only not to make a fool of herself.

Catcher could not wait to show her everything. He was now certain that she would give him that honour and he would be so proud to actually act upon it. As soon as that moment would arrive, he would lock both of them up in his apartment and not let Jenna out before he was sure she ‘knew it all’! Something he hoped would take weeks. He would show and teach her everything he knew and more. And after that he would still not let her out of his bed, just to enjoy being with her.

“Catcher, you are blushing! What is going through that filthy mind of yours?”  
“I am thinking about something that even makes _me_ blush, so what does that tell you?”  
“That your mind is even dirtier than you ever imagined?”  
“Well … that too, but not in this case. I will tell you one day, but not now.”

They both kept this kind of tease up until they got to Hoyt’s farm. Jenna retold her entire story of her hiding out once more and at 2 in the morning she was finally able to close her eyes. Her dreams embarrassed her with showing herself actually giving Catcher that so-called ‘blowjob’ she had only learned about earlier that day. In her dream she seemed to enjoy doing it, the pit of her stomach also gave her that funny feeling she usually felt around Catcher, but she did not understand why doing something like that would turn her on. How could kissing _that_ be such a turn-on? She woke up the next morning all sweating, turned on and confused. How would she face Catcher now? She was certain her cheeks would give a bright red light when she would see him. Thus she stayed in bed longer than she had first intended. Something Jenna regretted a little while later, since Catcher came to wake her up. As soon as his face turned around the corner of the door, she felt her cheeks warm up to a boiling point and she knew her cheeks showed a shade of red she had last seen on a fire truck.

“Well, good morning, love. I hope I did not wake you from a good dream too soon.” Oh yes, Catcher had noticed her cheeks too and he knew it was not safe to enter her bedroom now. In fact, it was best if he did not move at all right now, for at least a number of minutes. At least until he got his arousal under control before anyone would notice, especially Jenna who had caused his difficult situation.

Jenna also knew there was no way she would get out of this situation too, so she decided to play with it.

“I am afraid you did. This very cute man was about to do things to me that would even make _you_ blush”  
“Me, blush? Never” Catcher winked. “So who is this ‘cute man’?”  
“The man of my dreams of course….” And Jenna deliberately left it at that, or tried to anyway. When she took a look at Catcher’s face and saw the frustrated look on it, she burst out laughing.  
“Women!” he said walking away, shaking his head. “I don’t think I will ever understand them.”

It took Jenna another 30 minutes before she was finally able to leave her bed and her dreams behind and start her day. She decided to try to ignore Catcher for as long as possible, until she would be able to face him without embarrassing herself. But of course she already knew that swallowing a bowling ball in whole would be an easier task.

Carry noticed that something was up with Jenna from the moment she came through the doors before breakfast. She also noticed the ever present blush on her face whenever Jenna knew Catcher was near. Oh yes, her hopefully soon to be sister-in-law still had it bad for her husbands brother. It took everything she had in her not to laugh out loud at all Jenna’s attempts to avoid Catcher and his presence. Maybe Jenna needed a little hand, but for now she would enjoy her escapades a little longer.

The rest of the day Jenna still tried with all her might to avoid Catcher as much as she could. Catcher had noticed, but pretended not to. It bothered him though that Jenna acted this way. He didn’t understand why she would avoid him so much. Had he seen the signs wrong?

Again, Carry was the one to notice this. After dinner she pulled Catch to the side to talk to him. It took her a while before she finally got through to Catcher that Jenna really did love him, that she had started blushing every time Jenna noticed him within a 20 yard radius. But then why was she still acting like this? It just did not make sense to him.

“Do you want me to talk to her? Try to find out if anything is wrong?”  
“No, I don’t think so. It might make her think I don’t trust her.”  
“She would not know I talked to you, Catch. I promise you that.”  
“She’s not stupid, Carry. She saw you pull me into the kitchen.”  
“Just trust me on this. It will work, promise.”

By the next night, Jenna had given up on trying to avoid Catcher. She knew it would not work and she felt sorry for the way he looked every time she tried to do so. Catcher got these worried eyes, as if he was afraid he had really done something wrong, when he really only had ‘done something’ in her dreams.

And that previous night he had ‘done it’ again. Done it very good, even. Jenna had woken up gasping for breath, with that same feeling she had felt when Catcher had kissed her to a climax during their one night together.

This meant that even though Jenna had given up on avoiding Catcher, she still could not help it but blush every time he came near her. She hated that, she hated that her desires were so obvious. What would Catcher think? What would his brother and wife think?

“Jen? Want to help me with getting the men some coffee?”  
“Sure?” So, it was _that_ obvious….

“Jenna, are you okay? You have been so quiet these last 2 days.”  
“I-I’m sorry about that”  
“Why be sorry? I just hope nothing is wrong, are you sure about that?”  
“I guess I still feel so weird being around everyone again. I knew I missed everyone, but I never knew how much.”  
“Do you regret running away?”  
“No. I know it probably sounds strange, but I guess that time I have been away, I needed that. I needed to think about so many things before I faced everyone again. Looking back, all I can think of was how stupid I have been to stay away from everyone for so long, but it was just something I really needed to do. I think if I had not done it, I would not have been able to think everything I needed to through as I have been able to do now.”  
“There is just one thing that you are still not sure about, isn’t there?”  
“That obvious, huh?”  
“But what is not obvious is why you hesitate so much.”  
“I-I-I … I’m not, really.”  
“Then why not do what you really want to do, why not act upon your true feelings?”  
“If only it were that simple.”  
“But, sweetheart, it is…”   
“For you, maybe, but not for me. When it comes to that, my mind is still trying to find ways to confuse me every time.”  
“Then why don’t you talk about it? Maybe that helps your mind to clear up some doubts it apparently still has.”  
“But I know what I want. I guess I just need some more time.”

“But don’t your dreams tell you what you need to know?”

Now that was something Jenna never had expected!

“Wh-what do you mean?” she replied with again a bright red face.  
“I know you dream about it. I can see it in your eyes every morning. The fact that you then try to avoid Catcher for the next hour only confirms my suspicions.”  
“B-bu…”  
“Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just your conscious telling you what you are telling yourself you are not ready for. I promise you that if you give in to it, your mind will finally come to ease and you will feel a whole lot better, no pun intended.”


	38. 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 34**

The following months were the worst Jenna could imagine possible.

Jenna and Catcher had become closer friends than before she had disappeared. You would think that Jenna would be the happiest woman on earth, but it was the entire opposite. It just got on her nerves that she was not able to control her wants and desires every time Catcher was near her.

The fact that their teasing each other only intensified didn’t help either. She knew she only had herself to blame, as she did it too. She loved to see that surprised smile on Catcher’s face whenever she made a teasing remark. She had even made him blush a few times and that was something she definitely had to pay for during the nights that followed.

Yep, her dreams had multiplied. She could not recall a night without dreams about Catcher, nor a night with just simple cosy dreams about him; it had been at least a month since she had last seen any piece of clothing on either of them. Jenna was usually more exhausted when she woke up than before she went to sleep.

Though …

It had also been at least 2 months since she went to bed _after_ 10.30 at night!

It hadn’t been easy for Catcher as well. He had noticed the hesitance from Jenna to come closer to him. He had also noticed the bags under her eyes that seemed to increase every day. Why was she still resisting him so much? Was he doing it all wrong? He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take. Maybe the time was right to finally act upon his feelings.

Though, how would he approach that? Before Jenna, Catcher never had any problems with the ladies and how to seduce them, but Jenna is different. She would turn away immediately if he would try any of his old tactics. He would just go by instincts and see what happens.

 _Just please let it happen soon!!_

~

“Hi Catch” Jenna was already in bed and actually waiting for Catcher’s nightly phone call. It was 22.15 and she had actually already been in bed for over 30 minutes. Usually Catch would call her between 21.30 and 22.00 and usually Jenna would wait up for his call. Today, when he had not called her 30 minutes earlier, she risked going to bed and wait for his call there. If he would not call, she would just fall asleep.  
“Watch that, one day someone is going to call instead of me”  
“Ah well…”  
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”  
“No, but you are very late today, I was about to go to bed”  
“Liar, you are already in bed.”  
“H-how do you do that? How on earth can you possibly know I am already in bed?”  
“I can hear it in your voice”  
“I don’t understand…”  
“Just like I said, I can hear it in your voice. Your voice changes when you are in bed. It’s softer, lower…”  
“Really?”  
“Yep, very sexy, I can tell you” Would Jenna take that bait??  
“Catch! Behave!” Jenna responded shocked. Her face flushed and her body tingled.  
“What? What did I say?”  
“Don’t you dare play innocent”  
“But it’s the truth, Jen. Any man would give you the same answer.”  
“Not to their friends, they wouldn’t.”

 _OUCH!!! That hurt._

“But we are not ‘just friends’, right?”

It took Jenna a few moments before she was able to find an answer.  
“No, but still….”  
“Then it should be okay for me to say that. Stop worrying so much. It really is okay for a man to say things like this to you. Give up these norms and values that your parents raised you up with, just accept the truth and listen to people when they pay you a compliment. In fact, I am going to repeat myself; I think that your husky already-in-bed-voice is sexy …. There …..”  
“….. “  
“Jen?”  
“Yes” she whispered.  
“You don’t know what ‘husky’ means, do you?”  
“Ye-Yes, I do, of course I do…” Jenna whispered again.  
“Husky means the exact way your voice sounds right now; low, soft, a little raspy and very sexy”  
“Catch, please stop it.” Jenna whispered. She couldn’t take it anymore. Why was he torturing her so much? Didn’t he understand that what he just said went straight to her core and set her loins on fire? No of course he didn’t know, because Jenna had kept him at bay ever since he had walked back into her life.  
“I can’t Jen, if I would, I would lie and I don’t lie to my friends”

 _Ouch, Jen, that hurt!_

“I know, sorry. I am just not used to your kind of talk.”  
“Still not used to it? My god, woman, how long have we known each other now? I figured you would be used to me by now.”  
“I am used to you and your talk, but not _that_ kind of talk”  
“Well, get used to it then. It’s about time someone told you the truth and I have decided that I am perfect for that job”  
“Really now?”  
“Yep, consider this your warning. From now on, you can expect a lot of _that kind of talk_ from me”  
“Yeah, yeah, promises, promises” This was the only thing Jenna could think of to cover up her blush and inawkward feeling.  
“You don’t believe me? You are going to have a hard time then.”  
“Sure sure”  
“Just you wait”

~

The next 2 days, Jenna had to stay home sick from work. After she hung up the phone from Catcher she was tortured by steamy dreams again. Every time she woke up panting and sweating, but when she tried to fall asleep again, the dreams would return. At 4 in the morning, Jenna gave up and got out of bed. She was afraid to close her eyes, knowing that her dreams would return as soon as she would close them.

She got dressed quickly and went for a stroll along the shops. New York, though said to be called ‘the city that never sleeps’ was indeed asleep now, as if to mock her deprivation from it. When she returned to her flat, she sat down on her couch with a book in front of her but within 20 minutes exhaustion took over again and she fell asleep. Again she was plagued by dreams of Catcher, but this time her body did not allow her to wake up. Her body tortured her by keeping her in her dreams, until she was awakened by her telephone. Nancy wanted to know if Jenna was coming in to work today or not. After she called in sick, she dragged herself to bed, hoping to be left alone in her dreams for once.

Within an hour her telephone rang again and after a third attempt Jenna finally answered the persistent caller.  
“Finally, why didn’t you answer your phone earlier?”  
“Catch? How did you know I was here?”  
“Nancy called me and told me you were sick. Are you okay? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you tell me last night?”  
“Because last night I was okay.”  
What’s wrong, Jen?”  
“I’m having some trouble sleeping and last night I hardly slept at all” “  
“Is there anything I can do to help?”

 _YES, make hot and passionate love to me; make my dreams look like child play…_

“No, not really”  
“Do you want me to come over?” Catcher asked her pleadingly.  
“But all I really want to do is sleep; there isn’t really anything you can do here”  
“That is not what I asked. Do you want me to come over?”  
“Catch, I did answer; ‘there isn’t anything you can do here’”  
“There’s lots I can do; I can make sure you at least EAT something for starters.”

And with these words, Jenna had nothing more to say. Catcher was in charge. He told her he was coming over as soon as he could. He had a few things to do before he could leave the office, leaving an annoyed Peter McManus behind. Catch didn’t care or listen though. He explained briefly why he was leaving and before Peter even got a chance to reply, Catcher was out the door. He promised to take his article in progress with him and try to work on it when Jenna was asleep.

A few hours later, he quietly entered Jenna’s apartment, hoping to find her asleep in her bed. Instead he heard an annoyed growl coming from the bedroom.

“What is wrong? Are you alright?”  
“NO, no I am not. A few hours sleep, is that too much to ask? All I ask for is a few hours of sleep, but apparently I don’t deserve that. Instead I am still awake, frustrated, annoyed and realising that I am a lost cause when it comes to simple requests”  
“You are not a lost cause. I am going to fix you some food and after that, I promise you that I will have you asleep in no time”  
“And how were you planning on doing that, Mr. Genius???”  
“You will see”

And Catcher was right. After lunch, Catch said down next to her on her bed and made her drink her tea. 20 minutes later Jenna was sound asleep. Catcher sat on the edge of her bed, just watching her sleep for at least an hour. Jenna was beautiful when she slept. He could see she was dreaming, it looked like a nice dream, since Jenna was smiling….

After an hour he got up to get some work done, but within 5 minutes he heard weird sounds coming from the bedroom; heavy sighs and soft moans…..  
When Catcher returned to her bedroom he was just in time to see her climax in her dream. He knew immediately that it _was_ a climax, he had seen her do so before. His feet were nailed to the floor and his work was immediately forgotten. All he could hear, see or think was Jenna and the way she looked right at that moment.

Jenna slowly got back down to earth again and her breathing returned to normal. Catcher watched her some more. Would she have dreamt of making love to him?

Again Catcher left for the living room to work on his article, but again after only a few minutes he heard the same moans and groans he had heard before. When he entered the bedroom again, he noticed Jenna was still asleep but it was again very clear what she was dreaming about. Just like last time, he noticed Jenna eased down when he was in the room and this time he decided to stay with her. He would just write his article here, watching over Jenna. He could think of a lot worse things than watching the woman he loved while he was working. He sat down in a chair in the corner of the room and, due to a lack of being able to use a typewriter, started writing his article.

~

When Jenna finally woke up, it was already dark outside. She had slept for 6 hours and was hardly tortured by dreams at all. Catcher really had taken care of her, he kept true to his promise.

 _Would he still be here?_

When she opened her eyes everything was dark, so Catcher would probably have gone home by now. Hoping he left her a note, Jenna got up, but just before she left her bed she noticed Catcher’s sleeping form in a chair in the corner of her room. That could not be very comfortable, yet it comforted her a lot to see him still here. He had really watched over her. What she wouldn’t give to have him do that every day.

“Hey, you’re awake” She heard a raspy voice say from the chair in the corner. She remembered their conversation about the meaning of the word ‘husky’ and knew that _this_ was what he had meant. Indeed she had never heard a voice this sexy and raw before. She could really get used to it.

“Yes, I just woke up.”  
“How do you feel?”  
“A lot better, though still very tired”  
“Well, you have quite a few months of sleep to catch up. I have already called Nancy to say that you would not be in the office for a few days and all she said was ‘get well soon’.”  
“You did that for me?”  
“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? Besides, I was acting on pure selfishness. We are going to your parents next week and I will not risk anything for that. So I thought of myself alone and I am making sure that you are fit enough to go next weekend, you are not going to deny me from a few days in the country. You promised to show me that lake in spring and I really want to go.”  
“You are a weirdo, did you know that?”  
“Yep, a weirdo who needs a few days in the country”

“Isn’t it weird that I couldn’t sleep for days, but as soon as you walked through the door I fall asleep instantly?”  
“I guess I am very boring. But seriously, I gave you something that would help you fall asleep easier.”  
“So that is why you made me drink all of my tea before I went back to sleep.”  
“Sorry about that. You’re not mad, are you?”  
“No, not really. Just next time tell me about it. Right now I am just very grateful for the rest I got.”  
“But if I would have told you about it, you would never have taken it. I promise you I will tell you next time.”

“Are you going to go home soon, or did you want to stay a little longer? It will save you a telephone call….”  
“Are you asking me to stay?” Catcher’s wink that went with his question made Jenna blush again… ah well, what else is new, right?  
“I don’t know …. Are you asking me to ask you to stay?” That nap had done Jenna good, plus secretly she really did want Catcher to stay.  
“Why, Ms. Taylor, are you teasing me?”  
“ _Mr. Block_ , why would I do such a thing? I am a decent girl, decent girls do not tease. I only asked you if you wanted to stay, because you sounded so worried this morning. _IF_ you are really still worried about my wellbeing, then you are welcome to stay and see for yourself that I am alright, if not, you are free to leave.”  
“You have ‘tease’ written all over your forehead, my dear... Now, where’s that stretcher you bought a few months ago? I am _not_ sleeping in that chair again.”

It did not take Jenna long to fall asleep again later that night. Catcher slept on the stretcher on the other side of the room. Jenna slept a lot more peaceful with Catcher this near to her. Yet, a few hours after she fell asleep the dreams started to plague her again. They even woke Catcher up again. Catcher didn’t think for a second and went over to Jenna immediately, hoping that he could calm her down a bit, even though he knew what Jenna was dreaming about.

Catcher took Jenna in his arms and tried to sooth her with soft whispers and gently rocking her back and forth. Unfortunately _that_ didn’t work and it actually woke Jenna up. When she opened her eyes, she looked so frightened. How could the man she had been dreaming about actually be exactly where she had dreamt him to be? There was just one difference; he was still wearing his clothes….

“How can you be _here_ too?”  
“You asked me to stay, remember?” Catcher still whispered. He felt her body trembling and he knew she was still trying to shake the dream she had.  
“Go back to sleep, love. You need it. If you want, I can stay right here with you until you are asleep.”  
“I-I don’t know. I don’t know if that is wise.”  
“Can I ask you something? How long have you had dreams like these?”  
“Almost a year and a half, but they have only been this intense for a few months.” Jenna replied hesitantly, hoping he would not ask any further.  
“Are they always the same?”  
“I-I’d rather not talk about them, if you don’t mind.”  
“Why not?” Maybe if Catcher got her to talk about her erotic dreams, he would get her to open up to him.  
“Because they are embarrassing and I don’t like to talk about them”  
“But maybe, if you talk about it, it helps you ease your mind a bit. Remember the nightmares you had? Remember how we always talked until you felt safe enough to fall asleep again?”  
“I remember, but these dreams are nothing like the nightmares I had.”  
“I know, but it might still help if you talk about it”  
“Catch, I think I can safely say that you really do not know about these dreams. Please just leave it be, please?”  
“But I do know….”  
“Ho-how could you possibly know?”  
“I have watched you sleep and even though you do not talk in your sleep, it is pretty obvious what goes on. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, everyone has them, you just have them a little more often.”

Jenna sat up straight immediately, not wanting to believe what Catcher was telling her. It just could not be true, he could not know…. Could he?

“I am sorry love, are you alright?”  
“I….I d…. you …. You can’t know” Jenna replied softly with a trembling voice. “Wh-What did you see?”

As Catcher told Jenna what he had witnessed twice that afternoon, Jenna’s face turned whiter than a sheet. He _had_ seen her and in her own eyes he had seen her at the worst moment she could imagine. What would he think of her now? He would probably never fall for her now.

“Please don’t look at me like that, like you feel guilty for the ‘display you’ve given me’. It really is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact I found it beautiful to watch. You really look amazingly beautiful when you reach that ultimate high.”  
“Catch, please …”  
“Please what? It’s true Jen, I just wish you would realise it too. Do you remember that night on your couch? Do you remember what I told you that night? I told you that I had never seen something so beautiful.”  
“That was different, Catch. That was because someone was _actually_ touching me.”  
“And this morning you had been _dreaming_ that you were touched that same way, no difference to me, love. You still looked beautiful.”  
“Stop that.”  
“Stop what, love?”  
“Stop calling me beautiful, you have called me that about 4 times now.”  
“No, I won’t. I told you yesterday that it’s about time someone told you the truth about your beauty and I am keeping myself to that promise.”

“Can I ask you something?”   
“Sure”  
“Will you tell me who you dream about? Is it always the same person or does it change every dream?” Even though he had planned to take it a lot slower than he was going now, he could not help himself. He had to know.  
“I… I’d rather not talk about that, sorry.”  
“May I ask you why not?”  
“I’d just rather not talk about it, sorry. Don’t worry, no dreams of multiple men, always just one-on-one.”  
“So, it’s someone I know?”  
“Please Catch, I really would rather not talk about it. It’s embarrassing enough that you know about them.”

“Is it me?” 30 minutes had passed in silence. They were both still in bed. Jenna under the covers and Catcher sitting on top of them. Catcher had made them a cup of tea, hoping that would help to fall asleep again.  
“Is what you?” Because they had not spoken in a while, Jenna had no idea what Catcher was talking about.  
“The guy in your dreams …. Is that me?” There, he said it; the question that had haunted him ever since he had seen her that afternoon.  
“I told you; I don’t want to talk about it, so please just drop it.” Jenna’s face resembled that fire truck again. Would she have said his name out loud during her dreams after all?  
“You know you _can_ tell me, right? You know you won’t hurt me if you tell me his name.” _I think I just gave away a little too much…._  
“Huh? What do you mean?”  
“I mean, if this guy you dream about is not me, I won’t hate you or stop being your friend.” It was sink or swim, either Jenna would get angry for even suggesting such a thing, or she would realise what he just said and of course hopefully reply to his feelings.

Jenna did neither though. She just sat up in her bed without saying anything. Had he really just said that? For years she had hoped for him to feel the same way. She _had_ heard him say that right before her wedding, but ever since then, they had not talked about it since. Would he really still feel this way? Would she dare hope?

When she thought of the last few months, she could, in no way, deny that he had been super attentive and sweet to her. He had moved mountains for her, if he could. He listened to every story she had told him, no matter how boring. He had taken care of her the first few weeks after new years, making sure she would not neglect herself again. He had helped her pick out new furniture. He had even helped her pick out birthday presents for her nieces and nephews.

“Wh-what do you mean?”  
“Don’t play dumb, Jen. I think you know exactly what I mean.”  
“No, I _think_ I have a clue of what you just said, but I want to be sure I heard it _right_. Did I? Did I hear what I think I heard?”  
“You know you did.”

“What’s going to happen now? What are we going to do now?” Jenna asked after another few minutes of silence.  
“I guess that is all up to you. What do you want to happen next?”  
“I don’t know. I think…. I don’t know how to think …. I think I need to hear you say it once more.”  
“What do you want to hear me say, love?” Catcher whispered as he put his arm around her and held her near him. “Do you want to hear me say that I really hope that it was me in your dreams? That I think you are the most beautiful woman to walk this earth? That I love you?”  
“Yes, that is exactly what I wanted to hear again.” She said after she gasped. Had he really just said that?

“Would you mind if we went back to sleep now? My eyes are suddenly very heavy” It was true. Jenna could hardly keep her eyes open any longer, she also felt as if a weight had fallen off her shoulders and she was sure she would sleep peacefully this time.  
“S-sure….” Catcher didn’t really understand it though. He had finally confessed his true feelings to the woman he loved and all she had to say was that she wanted to sleep? As he tried to get up, he noticed Jenna still clung tight to him. She did not let him go, in fact her grip on Catcher tightened when he tried to get up. Though she kept her eyes closed.  
“Won’t you get cold on top of the blankets?” Jenna asked in a blurry and very sleepy voice.  
“Jen, are you sure about this?” Was she really asking him to stay?  
“Yes” she replied “I am sure you will get cold on top of the blankets”

You didn’t need to tell Catcher _that_ twice. He hurried himself underneath Jenna’s baby blue sheets and immediately Jenna nestled her body against his and fell back to sleep. Within seconds Catcher followed, holding on to the love of his life tight.

~

The next morning Catcher woke with a start. What was that noise? Why was the telephone ringing at this hour? What time was it anyway? 11.00 o’clock??????? Not wanting to wake up Jenna, he decided to answer the telephone himself, hoping Jenna would not get angry or that he wouldn’t pick up the phone to someone he shouldn’t really talk to right now.  
“Good morning…” he whispered  
“Good morning” said the other side of the line “who is this?”  
“All depends on who I am talking to, who _am I_ talking to?” still whispering  
“Catcher? Is that you?” The other line screamed this time “It’s Stacey!!! What are you doing answering Jenna’s phone and _why are you whispering??_ Where is Jenna anyway? Why isn’t she answering her own phone? What is wrong with her? Why is she sick?”  
“Listen, she is still asleep and I didn’t want to wake her up. Can I give her a message?”  
“But that still does not explain why you are answering her phone ….. Is there something Jenna forgot to tell me?”  
“No, she will probably tell you all about everything you want to know”  
“Can you tell her to call me back as soon as she wakes up? I have some news I really want to tell her.”  
“No problem.”

As soon as Catcher hung up the phone, he lay back down and took Jenna back into his arms and fell back to sleep. Jenna responded to his touch immediately and put her head on his chest and her arm tight around his waist.

A few hours later it was Jenna who finally woke up first. She was still in Catcher’s arms when she opened her eyes. Memories of the night before came back and a smile came to her face. This was really happening to her; she was in Catcher’s arms and he had told her he loved her!

As Jenna was way too comfortable to move or get up, she decided to stay right where she was. Her head still rested on Catcher’s chest and his even breathing told her he was still asleep. She listened to his heartbeat and imagined what it would be like to wake up like this every morning. Then her mind wandered to what it would be like to wake up together after a night of making love. They would be naked then and she could not wait to find out how it felt to wake up to his naked body against hers.

Thinking back to last night, she also knew that they probably had lots to talk about. For starters she felt she needed to apologise for just falling asleep after he declared his love for her. After that out of the way she would probably need to discuss what was going to happen next. Were they going to act upon their feelings or did Catcher maybe think it too soon?

As Jenna let her mind wander, her hand softly caressed the small bit of chest hair that stuck out of his night shirt. When she felt his breathing change she realised Catcher was awake. Immediately she tried to take her hand back again, but before she got _that_ chance, Catcher took her hand in his and kept it right there on his chest.

“What a nice way to wake up. I think I could get used to that. Good morning, love”  
“Good morning” Jenna replied. She didn’t know what to do or say next. Would he expect her to say something or kiss him? But they had not kissed yet, so wouldn’t that be bold? Should she get up to make breakfast? Should she ask him first?  
“What is going on in that head of yours? I can almost hear your brains think. How did you sleep? Did you sleep okay? I haven’t heard you moan or sigh, so does that mean you have had a restful night?”  
“I-I did, thanks. I actually feel like I have slept for days.”  
“No dreams then?”  
“Not that I can remember, to be honest” She couldn’t tell him that she really _had_ dreamt of him, that he had held her like he was doing now and that he told her he loved her, like he did last night.  
“Good. I’m glad you had a good night’s rest. Would you like something to eat? I know I certainly need a few bites.” Catcher said as he kissed the top of Jenna’s head. He did not really want either of them to leave the bed, but he really needed some food.  
“I’m starving. I can make us some breakfast, what would you like?”  
“Baby, I think you misunderstood me. What would _you_ like?”  
“N-no, you don’t need to do that. I can do that.” Carson had never done something like that for her, only once, but only because he wanted something.  
“Don’t you dare get out of bed. You are staying in bed all day. I am going to make you some breakf…. Let’s make that lunch, seeing it’s already 2 o’clock. In the meantime you could ring Stacey, she called you this morning, way too excited and asked if you’d call her back.”  
“S-Stacey called? When?” _I have got to get that stutter under control._  
“This morning when you were still asleep. I hope you don’t mind that I answered the call, I didn’t want you to wake up.”  
“I don’t mind. Thank you.”  
“Now pick up that phone, I will be back with lunch shortly.”  
Before Catcher got out of bed, he softly kissed Jenna’s cheek close to her ear and then he really had to make himself get out of bed. He knew if he stared at her for much longer, he would act upon feelings he knew Jenna was not ready for yet. He had to get her comfortable enough in this situation first before he took things a step further.

“Joe Taylor…”  
“Joey? What are you doing home? Shouldn’t you be at work?”  
“Jen? I think I can ask you the same thing. Shouldn’t _you_ be at work? Instead of being pampered at home by Catcher? Don’t you try to throw the illusion of being sick at me, I will not believe that for one second.”  
“But it’s true … partially anyway. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and exhaustion got the better of me.”  
“But that does not explain why Catcher answered your phone this morning, and very sleepy himself might I add.”  
“Alright, he is taking care of me. Making sure I actually try to sleep and that I eat right.”  
“Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”  
“Joey! How dare you think that of me? You should know better than that.”  
“I thought I did…. Until a very sleepy man answered your phone this morning.”  
“Just get your wife on the phone, will you? Or is she just as mean as you are right now?”  
“Sweetheart, I ain’t half as bad as she is right now….”

“JENNA??? WHAT is Catcher doing there? More importantly WHY didn’t I know about any of this?”  
“Hello Stace, how are you doing? It’s so nice to hear your voice again.” Jenna mocked.  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, cut the crap and tell me about Catcher spending the night and answering your telephone way too tired to have been able to get off the couch where he pretended to have slept.”  
“Not until you tell me why you called me this morning. How did you know I was home anyway?”  
“I called work first and they told me you were sick…. Sure, I have called in ‘sick’ once or twice too. How was it?”  
“Not that you _want_ to hear this right now, but I really am home sick. You know I have not been sleeping much lately, I guess fatigue got the better of me and I called in sick yesterday. When Catcher found out, he came over to make sure I still ate right and that I got **enough sleep!!!** If he had not answered that telephone this morning I would have woken up earlier and that would have meant I would not have rested properly….. So are you ever going to tell me why you called this morning or do I have to beat it out of you?”  
“I have been so excited about that telephone call with Catch this morning that I _almost_ forgot why I called. I have great news though….”

Jenna already had a feeling what was coming, she could hear it in her friend’s voice. If two people deserved this happiness, it was her brother and her best friend.

“I’m pregnant!!!” Stacey screamed in Jenna’s ear. “Can you believe it? ME? Carrying a CHILD? I still can’t believe it myself…”  
“STACE!!! That is WONDERFUL. I am so happy for you.” Jenna screamed back. Even though she knew what was coming, she couldn’t help screaming out loud with happiness.

Only, Catcher didn’t understand the screams and figured something was wrong.

“Jen? Are you alright? Is something wrong?”  
“I-I-I am fine, really. Stacey told me she and Joey are pregnant. Isn’t it wonderful?”  
When Catcher ran into the bedroom, Jenna noticed for the first time he was only wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts. Even though they had slept in the same bed, practically glued together, she had not noticed this until now. When her cheeks flushed a deep red again, Catcher looked down to see why and noticed his own state of undress. As he looked up he gave Jenna his most seductive smile and a wink and then left her alone with Stacey forgotten on the telephone.

“Jen? Jenna? Are you still there? Helloooooooo?”  
“Oh … ehm, sorry Stace. Catcher walked in, he thought something was wrong because I was screaming so loud.”   
“He walked in _where????_ ”  
“Weren’t you just telling me about the child you are expecting? Tell me about that. When will it be born? When did you find out? Is that why my brother is home? How are you feeling? Morning sickness bothering you yet? What did our parents say?”  
“Wow, hold on, slow down. Just because you do not want to tell me about what happened with Catcher last night and I KNOW something must have happened, because I can hear it in your voice, that doesn’t mean you get to be more excited about my child than me.”  
“Hey, hang on. That’s my job, remember? I am your best friend, shouldn’t I be overexcited? I am going to be an aunt again and this time from the only brother who understands me and you. What more could I want?”  
“Do you really want me to answer that?”  
“Nope, but go on, tell me everything. How are you feeling? Are you having trouble with morning sickness yet?”  
“Well, I’ve been feeling off for a week or two now, but it never occurred to me what it could be. This morning Joey almost dragged me to the doctor because he couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted to know what was wrong and after a few tests he congratulated us. Both Joe and I had no clue what so ever what he was talking about, so he literally had to explain it to us. I couldn’t believe it and I still can’t. I don’t think I have ever been this happy in my life. Our parents do not know yet, by the way. Please don’t tell them anything yet. We are going to tell everyone tonight. You are actually the first one to know. I just couldn’t wait any longer.”  
“Sweetheart, I am so happy. Really. But when is the baby due? How much time do I have left to save up and spoil my already favourite niece or nephew?”  
“In November, only 7 more months. So we have 7 months left to finish the first baby room.”  
“Believe me when I say you can do that in 2 weeks time. I will help as much as I can.”

“Okay, I think I told you everything about this baby now. You have tried to keep quiet for another 20 minutes. Now it’s MY turn to ask questions, lady.” Indeed another 20 minutes had passed in which Stacey answered just about every question Jenna could think of to keep the conversation away from Catcher. Truth was, she just didn’t know what to say yet. What could she tell Stacey when she had not even talked to Catcher about what they were now? What _were_ they now?  
“I’d love to answer all your questions, but lunch is almost ready and I wouldn’t want to keep my guest waiting.”  
“With other words, he is right there in the room, isn’t he?”  
“Yes”  
“I get it. No problem, missy. You are not getting away with this. Don’t I deserve to know?”  
“I guess” This was harder than Jenna thought. He was sitting in the chair in the corner and watching Jenna while she was on the phone. By the look on his face, he knew exactly what they were talking about, but at least now he didn’t know precisely what Stacey asked and Jenna thus answered to.  
“I already know he spent the night, but _where_? On the couch?”  
“From the response I got from my brother, you already know the answer to that.”  
“So, he slept on the stretcher next to your bed???”  
“What do you think?”  
“I think I will go for option number three…”  
“Which isssss……???”  
“Glued to your body underneath your covers.”

When Jenna turned beet red once again, Catcher got up and walked out of the room. Jenna was actually surprised by his sudden action, since only seconds earlier he got comfortable in the chair and put his feet up to watch Jenna some more. A few seconds later she got her answer though.

“Stacey? This is Catcher here, I am so sorry to interrupt your very important conversation. Our lunch is ready however and Jenna needs some food before she does _anything_ else. Would you mind if she calls you back a bit later while I go to the shops and get some groceries for her? I know you have very important things to discuss and I don’t really think I should be around when you discuss it.”  
“That’s okay, Catch, you take good care of her now. It’s about time someone did. But before I go, I just want to know which option I gave Jenna was correct. Was I right?”  
“Yes” Jenna whispered  
“I KNEW it. I better go now, you two enjoy lunch, just make sure Catcher gives you time enough to call me back….”

~

“So, what was option number three?”  
“Oh… ehm, a silly game Stacey played. Please pay no intention to it, it was nothing.”  
“Then why are you blushing?”  
“I deny that”  
“You deny that you are blushing?” Catcher asked amused.  
”Yep, I am not blushing, nope, I am not.” Jenna joked back  
“Then why are your cheeks this beautiful bright red colour?”  
“Like I just said; I deny everything.” At least with a joke, she figured to get out of answering that question.  
“Then will you answer me what the other options were? Or maybe the question that led to these options?”  
Again Jenna blushed.  
“Maybe later then?” Catcher asked, seeing her insecurity.  
“Thanks.”

“Jen? Can I ask you something?” Catcher asked when their lunch was almost done.  
“Sure” Jenna was enjoying her lunch far too much to notice the seriousness in Catcher’s face. Jenna never knew how hungry she really was until Catcher put the tray with food in front of her.  
“What are you so insecure about? I mean, why are you so afraid? I mean, you know that with me you shouldn’t worry, right? There _is_ nothing to worry about. I am not going anywhere, ever again. Is it all because of Carson?”

It took Jenna 5 minutes before she could reply, but with a question of herself.  
“W-What are we? Where are we? What do you mean precisely with ‘you’re not going anywhere ever again’?”  
“See, this is exactly what I mean. Baby, _why_ are you so insecure? I love you, I want to grow old with you, I want to marry you, start a family with you. I want to _be with you!!!_ ”  
“Bu….” Jenna whispered  
“No, no buts” Catcher replied softly, taking the tray of food from Jenna’s lap “not yet anyway…” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Don’t worry about anything” He pulled Jenna down, but he himself stayed on top of the covers. “Let go” he said as he took her in his arms “I promise you that I will make every mistake Carson made up to you and more.” And with these words he closed the distance between their lips and kissed her the way he had dreamed of for so long now.


	39. 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 35**

Was this really happening? Was Catcher really kissing her? Jenna could still not believe it. Yet here she was underneath Catcher, being kissed by him in a way she had never experienced before. He was so full of fire, yet so very gentle. He probably figured Jenna wanted to take it slow, but truth was that Jenna wasn’t sure she could handle that too long. She also knew it was best to take it slow for now, but her body was telling her differently.

Catcher had felt Jenna’s desire, but he also knew that if he was to act upon that desire, he would not be able to stop until he was making passionate love to her. Besides, he was having way too much fun right now, knowing she was going insane with desire. That was probably what he had always loved about women; without realising it themselves, they always showed their true desire for a man in the act of love. Jenna was no different in that.

The only difference he could find was Jenna’s inexperience, which made it all so much purer and more desireful. Making love to her would truly be something he would never forget. He could not wait to find out what it would be like.

Catcher nibbled on Jenna’s lips, the giggle she gave as a response, gave Catcher goose bumps.  
“That tickles” Jenna whispered, still softly giggling.  
“What does, love?” Catcher replied. Knowing exactly what she meant, but wanting to hear her say it.  
“What you just did.”  
“You mean this?” He said as he kissed the corner of her mouth “Or this?” He continued as he softly bit her lower lip “Or this?” He said finally as he kissed her deeply.  
Catcher took 10 minutes before he let Jenna answer. By that time, her giggles had multiplied tenfold.  
“Well? I am _still_ waiting for your answer.” It was actually meant to see that blush on Jenna’s face again, but instead, Jenna took matters in her own hands….  
“Actually, more like this.” Jenna still had no idea how she actually managed to do so, but she rolled Catcher on his back, ending on top herself and nibbled on Catcher’s lips the way he had done earlier. Catcher was so surprised by this move that for the first few seconds he did not move at all. Realising just in time that _that_ would probably make Jenna more insecure, thinking she probably did something wrong, he threw his arms around her and started to caress her neck.

Jenna could not believe what she was doing. She was actually in control and kissing the man she loved in a way _she_ wanted. With Carson, she had always felt like she was _being kissed_ instead of _sharing_ a kiss. When she looked up, she saw the desire in Catcher’s eyes. She must have done it right then.

“Did you really think that tickled? Hmmmm, maybe you should do that again, I am not too sure yet.”

And so, they explored each other’s kisses and they got to know each other’s bodies a whole lot better. Catcher knew about Jenna’s wishes to save herself until her wedding night and he respected that. Even though he sometimes had a hard time keeping _Jenna_ to her own promise. She was so full of fire and desire that she at times could hardly control her own body. Her body screamed for Catcher’s, simple as that.

~

The following week was mostly spent in each other’s arms. Unfortunately for both their work got in the way and so they actually did need to let go of each other a few hours per day. But as soon as the clock turned 5 pm, they both rushed back to Jenna’s apartment where they enjoyed and adored each other.

There was only one thing bothering both of them: Jenna’s vow! Catcher had the hardest time to keep true to her vow and not make love to her, but Jenna did not make it easy for him. With every kiss she gave him and every touch, she let him know that she wanted him and that her body didn’t want to wait any longer.

Jenna also had a hard time. She knew she made a vow and she knew Catcher knew about it. BUT she wanted out of it. She wanted to give herself to the man she loved more than life. She also thought that she made it pretty obvious, but Catcher denied her every attempt. But how do you say that you want to forget about a lifelong vow? Won’t it sound very desperate? She knew she was, but she didn’t want to sound it…. Plus, what would he think of her if she was this easy? How would he ever believe that she wasn’t this easy when she was still with Carson?

On top of that, Jenna also feared she was making a fool of herself by the way Catcher denied her to take things further. For instance on that Wednesday after they got together, Jenna was kissing Catcher’s chest and just like Catcher had done to her, Jenna moved her lips lower and lower until she reached his bellybutton. Catcher had always kissed and licked around it and Jenna always loved him doing so. The feeling she got when he did that was amazing. Jenna wanted to return this feeling to him, but instead of kissing and licking around it, she dipped her tongue inside his bellybutton. She didn’t know why, it just came to her. She had thought of it when Catcher had kissed her there and it sounded sexy as hell to her.

Jenna really did like it, it turned her on even more. But Catcher on the other hand had jumped up so high, Jenna thought he would have hit the ceiling for sure when he felt his bellybutton being tongued. Within 2 seconds the control she had had over Catcher was gone and again she was underneath Catcher being kissed fiercely.

Don’t get me wrong, Jenna was definitely not complaining, but it did make her insecure. She didn’t know if what she was doing was good or not. All she knew was that every time she tried something new and, in her eyes, daring, Catcher usually stopped her and took over by kissing her passionately for so long it left both of them breathless.

Jenna was too chicken to mention it, she was afraid to say anything about it yet. What if she really was making a fool of herself? She knew she didn’t know anything when it came to sex, so she figured it best to stay quiet for a little while until she knew for sure she really was making a fool of herself. She still had a lot to learn and in time she would have all the answers she needed.

Catcher noticed the insecurity in Jenna’s eyes, that was why he acted the way he did every time. Whenever Jenna tried something she had never done before, yet so affective, Catcher had the hardest time not to act upon this and have his wicked way with her. Because this was exactly what he wanted to do and was very close to giving in to. Didn’t she have any idea what she was doing to him? Didn’t she have any idea that what she did, drove him mad with desire for her? For instance, last Wednesday, Jenna drove him insane by dipping her tongue in his bellybutton. Catcher almost came right then and there. All he could think of to make sure _he_ would not make a fool of himself by creaming himself was throw her on her back and kiss her where it was safer: her divine lips.

He loved it when Jenna took control of the situation. The hunger in her eyes intensified and it was so very obvious to see how much she enjoyed it when she found out something new.

~

“Baby, have you really packed everything now? Can I take your bag down to the car already? Or do you need a little more time?”

Catcher had noticed how nervous Jenna was. It was Friday evening and they were about to leave for Jenna’s parents. Jenna had not told anyone about her and Catcher yet, mainly because she didn’t know how. Especially her mother was going to be a problem, Jenna feared. What was she going to say? When she had spoken to her last night, she kind of got the feeling that Carson might be there at the house.

“I-I guess I’m ready now. Are you ready?”  
“Baby, I am _always_ ready!”  
“Dirty man. You get everything out of your system now though, because once we get there, that kind of talk is off limits. My parents will kill you if you talk like that in their presence.”  
“But I can keep going when they can’t hear, right? I cannot wait to see you blush and no one knows why…”  
“Catch, don’t even think about it. I have 7 brothers who have _all_ done so before me, believe me THEY KNOW!”  
“But they don’t know what I am capable of, love.” Catcher said with an evil grin on his face. Oh dear, was Jenna in trouble.

“Now, tell me” Catcher asked Jenna when they were finally on their way and just outside New York. “How big is your bed?”  
“Catch…” Jenna said in a warning voice.  
“What?” Catch winked at her “Just because your parents will never allow you to have a man in your bed whom you are not married to, even though you are almost thirty, doesn’t mean I will not try!!”  
“Catch…” Jenna said again, still a very warning tone in her voice. She knew her parents and their reaction to a possible action like this.  
“Listen, I will not survive, knowing you and your fine body are only 2 doors away. It will be the death of me. You can’t do this to me.”  
“Then I promise you your funeral will be a beautiful one. Seriously, you can’t sneak into my bed. I remember one encounter between my parents and my oldest brother John. He had snuck in his fiancé 1 week before the wedding. My parents freaked out when they found my brother and Andrea in a very … ehm… intimate embrace … The entire house was awake within a few minutes, thinking at least that the house was on fire. My brother _actually_ got _grounded_ until the wedding, we all got another lesson from them about how they would never ever tolerate sex before marriage and … let’s just say, in mum’s eyes, John III was born 1 week early…!”  
“But we are not having sex, neither are we making love, we are only sleeping in one bed instead of two.”  
“I have told you before that that does not matter to them. If two people are not married, they will not share a bed. No matter if the wedding is only 1 week away. Rules are rules and they will not be broken as long as we are under their roof.”  
“Then it will be my challenge to bend them without anyone knowing but you. And it _will_ work!” Catch replied with hunger in his eyes.

In return Jenna’s inside turned to flames and her attempts to control herself were again close to failing. Why was he doing this to her? Couldn’t he see how much this affected her? She knew she had to save herself, that was the way she was raised, but Catcher made it very hard to get her to keep that promise. Right now, all she wanted was for Catcher to park the car at the side of the road and make love to her right here and now.

“Jen, get that look off your face or I will stop this car right now and ravish you in the middle of this road.”  
“What look?” Jenna said with her most innocent look, or at least she tried one.  
“THAT one!!!”

The tires of Catcher’s car screeched as Catcher brought his car to an abrupt halt. He did have the decency to park at the side of the road, but he didn’t care about the rooftop being down. Jenna was so surprised of this action that a little scream escaped her lips. A second one sounded when Catcher kissed Jenna so intensely, in a way Jenna had never experienced before. While kissing her, Catch tried to move Jenna to his lap, something Jenna was very happy to help with. She already had no idea how she would survive this weekend without these arms and these lips she was holding and kissing right now.

Catcher made his way to Jenna’s neck, her weak spot. Over the last week, he had had the hardest time not to keep lingering there. He knew what would happen if he did and he knew how she looked afterwards. But that same look also made him almost lose his control every time. He wanted to see her come so much, he wanted to give her that all day, but it would be the sexual death of him. He didn’t mention it to Jenna though. He knew it probably made her very uncomfortable and probably even guilty. So, he figured if he kept quiet about his own needs, she would not feel bad about it and that way they both kept Jenna’s vow in tact.

But right now however, he felt Jenna’s body tense within a few seconds already. He couldn’t let this pass, he had to see what happened, he had to see her face in that ultimate bliss. It didn’t take long, especially when he started to tickle her neck with his tongue all the way from the hollow of her throat to just behind her ear. Without realising it himself, his right hand made its way from Jenna’s back to just below her breast and when he actually did touch the side of her breast, Jenna let herself go.

Everything went black, her head spun and her entire body tingled like never before. When Jenna finally was able to focus her eyes again and look at the man holding her, she could not believe what she saw. The love and desire that was there was so strong, how was she ever going to give back to him what he keeps giving to her without asking for anything in return?

Deciding to just go for it, to see what happens, Jenna kept her eyes on Catcher while she started to kiss him. She couldn’t believe it when she heard that ever so sexy moan, which she had heard so many times that week already, from just kissing him. If he moaned like that during their kisses, what kind of sounds would he make if they actually made love? She couldn’t wait to find out.

Just as she shifted a bit, to get more comfortable (and let’s be honest, to feel him better), Catcher reluctantly ended their kiss.  
“Jen? Baby, as much as I love what you are doing now, and good god, am I loving this, we really have to get going.”  
“W-What?” Was he really asking her to stop?  
“Baby, oh please, don’t get me wrong. What you are doing to me right now is driving me insane with desire for you.”  
“But…. Why do you want me to stop then?”  
“Because you do not want your first time to be a quickie at the side of a road to your parents. Heck, **I** do not want that to happen. When that happens, we will be far away from any possible viewers and with a fridge full of food to last for a number of weeks.”  
“What does a fridge have to do with that?”  
“Because that is how long it will take until I am satisfied. Once we will make love, I will not let you out of bed for at least a few weeks.”  
“Weeks?”  
“At least, baby!!”  
“I will keep you to that promise.” Just by hearing Catcher talk about them making love like that, turned her on even more. But at least she could handle it for now….. but only just.  
“Don’t you worry, love, this is a promise I can’t wait to keep.”

It took Jenna 30 minutes to realise what they had just done, or what worried her more; WHERE!!  
“Oh my god, what have we done?”  
“What love?” Catcher was still trying to get his hormones under control. A thing he found very hard to do with Jenna so close to him and with his hand on her thigh.  
“I can’t believe what almost just happened _out there_ ” Jenna whispered the last two words, as if someone else but them could hear them.

 _God, I start to sound like my mother. Why on earth am I whispering?_

“What do you mean love?” Catcher wasn’t too sure about what Jenna just said. Did she really regret what they had done?  
“We almost made love in a convertible with the _top down_ for the whole world to see. What if people saw us?”  
“Then they saw two people very much in love, showing each other how they feel.”  
“But …”  
“No, love, no buts. Stop worrying too much. No one passed us for at least an hour, no one saw us.”

Another few minutes passed in silence, when Jenna all of a sudden started laughing.  
“What is going through that head of yours?”  
“I was just thinking ‘what if my parents accidentally drove passed and they had seen us? What would we have told them?’ ‘No mum, seriously, it was just an innocent kiss’?”  
“You can leave out ‘innocent’, love.”  
“Well…. Technically, it was ‘just a kiss’, wasn’t it?”  
“A kiss that made you scream with pleasure….”  
“You know this, I know this, but the outside world doesn’t”  
“Well who would have ever thought you were so kinky?”  
“W-what do you mean?”  
“What I mean is that I never expected you to like making love in public. If you liked this already, wait till we’re married and I can make love to you everywhere our hearts desire. You keep talking about that lake you are taking me to this weekend and ehm… let’s just say, I would love to _take_ you for a swim one day.”  
“Catch!” Jenna screamed with surprise. “Okay, I admit that I thought it was pretty exciting, but actually going all the way in public is not normal, right? _That_ should only be something for the bedroom, right?”  
“Not if you don’t want to, love.”  
“Catch, stop it, I don’t believe you.”  
“Why not? Because your parents taught you differently? Baby, if you want to make love on the moon, I will take you there as soon as they figure out how to. If you really _want_ to make love in that lake, we _can_. Just because you were raised to believe that ‘reproduction’ should take place in the bedroom, under the covers and the bedroom door closed, doesn’t mean that that is the way it really goes or should go. If you are open for it and you desire to, you can make love anywhere you want to. Even in that lake.”  
“Really? But won’t you get arrested?”  
“Isn’t that the thrill? Doing it in public with a chance that someone might catch you doing so, but hoping that won’t happen?”  
“Ha-have you ever done that before?” Jenna knew the answer to that already, she also didn’t really want to hear it confirmed, but for some reason she just had to ask. If he was telling the truth, maybe that dream she had had years ago about them making love underneath the stars could really happen some day.  
“Yes” was all he said. Catcher didn’t feel comfortable to talk about his old girlfriends to Jenna. Not because he didn’t feel that Jenna had nothing to do with it, but more because of the difference between them. He knew Jenna’s lack of experience and how she did not feel comfortable about that. He felt that his stories only made her more insecure about herself.  
“Where?” For some reason, Jenna really wanted to know. She wanted to know the possibilities; she wanted to know if her dream could come true.  
“Jen…”  
“Oh no, it’s no accusation or something like that. I am just curious, that’s all. Just like you said; you know how I was raised.”  
“Are you sure? I mean, wouldn’t you rather want to hear about where I would love to make love to you?”  
“You _already_ thought about where you want to do that?”  
“Baby, I’m a guy, that’s what we do. Women dream about their weddings, guys dream about sex.”  
“That’s not true! Women don’t just dream about their weddings. I never did! In fact, I actually dream about sex, instead of weddings.”  
“Really? Tell me more, baby.”  
“Na-ah, you were about to tell me where you wanted to ‘take’ me and you are not getting out of answering that first.”  
“Are you sure?” Catch winked again “I mean, are you really sure you are ready to hear me tell you that I cannot wait to have you under me on my dinner table, that I want to make love to you in that lake, that I am dying to have you on top on that couch of yours and my favourite; that my ultimate desire is to ‘take’ you shopping for a new outfit.”

He really _had_ thought about that! And something told Jenna that these few ideas were only the tip of the iceberg and that she probably could expect a whole lot more from Catcher. Jenna could not believe that just his stories alone about making love to her, could get her panties all wet again. Catcher noticed Jenna’s blush, thinking the stories made her blush with unease and inexperience instead.

“I-I know you are not used to talk like that, but this _is_ what has gone through my mind for so long now.”  
“’Take’ me shopping? Now I know you are kidding me.”  
“What do you mean? Why would I be kidding?”  
“How is that even possible? Where would we …. Ehm … you know, without being seen?”

Catcher was loving every second of this. He could not wait to show her _everything_ and he had a sneaking suspicion that Jenna might enjoy it all more than she was fearing right now.

“Let’s put it this way. You need to see if everything fits and I need to too.”  
“Yo-you mean …. Inside the cha … but that is way too small in there.”  
“I think we will fit perfectly…”  
“If you think I am going to lie down on a dirty floor….”  
“Who said _anything_ about lying down, love?”  
“Huh?... Bu…. I don’t get it…”  
“Then I suggest you’d better take me with you when you go shopping once we are married.”  
“No, no, no, don’t you dare leave it like that. I want to know what you mean. If lying down ain’t an option, how else are we …. You know?”  
“Well…. What is the opposite of lying down?”  
“Standing up, but that is imp…”  
“That’s right, love. And that is exactly what I want to do to you.”  
“I don’t think I have ever wanted to go shopping as much as I do now, if only to find out _how on earth_ that would work”  
“And I don’t think I have ever looked forward to showing you everything as much as I do right now. I promise you ‘satisfaction’ will be the only word in your dictionary for a looooooooooooong time.”

Again Jenna could not help but worry about that cursed vow she had made. How on earth was she going to last until they were married when already he made promises she could not wait for him to keep? How on earth was she going to control herself when she would take him to that lake on Sunday? Was she going to be able to stop if they kissed? Did she really want to stop? Did she really still want to wait until their wedding night? Right now she wasn’t so sure anymore. Right now all she could think about was forgetting about that darn promise she made and make love to the man beside her everywhere her heart desired.

“Penny for your thoughts, love?” Catcher asked after Jenna had gone silent for a while.  
“Better make that a dollar..” She couldn’t really tell Catcher she had been imagining them making love by the lake, now could she?  
“That bad, baby? Or _that good_?”  
“Awww, too bad, we are at my parent’s already. I guess you will never know the answer to that question.”  
“No, no, you will not get away with it that easy. What were you thinking love? Do I need to worry about anything?”  
“Definitely not.” This time it was Jenna who winked, as she tried to get out of the car.  
“That good, huh? I like that. But I _will_ find out _how_ good exactly.”

~

“Jenna, dear, are you all better again? When I spoke to you on the telephone a few days ago, I was so very worried about you. You were breathing so heavily that I almost called a hospital nearby to go and check up on you.”

Right, that was that phone call when Catcher could not keep his hands or his lips to himself while Jenna tried to talk to her mother. She had hoped that her mother wouldn’t notice anything, but apparently she had.

“I am all fine now, mum. Thanks.” Jenna blushed.

Stacey noticed that blush immediately and knew right away that Jenna hadn’t been as ill as her mother thought she had been. When Stacey noticed Catcher’s grin, she knew everything she needed to know.

Come in, dear. You too, Catcher. How lovely to see you again. I am so glad you accepted our invitation to stay for the weekend.”  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Mrs. Taylor.”

“I have a surprise for you later, Jenna-dear. He will be here shortly.”

So Jenna had been right all along, Carson was on his way over….

“Mum, if you mean you invited Carson, I will not be here. I do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. I thought I had made that clear when I walked out on him at our wedding.”  
“Are you still angry about that? Isn’t it about time you forgave him? He did.”  
“Oh, did he now? Sorry mum, but I don’t think I will ever forgive him. Besides, there is someone else in my li…”  
“There he is, dear. Stand up straight now.” Her mother cut off. She never even heard her daughter try to tell her about the new man in her life.

“I am going inside. Catch, you coming? I will show you to your room, while my mother greets our other ‘guest’.”

Jenna walked inside the house, without waiting for Catcher’s answer. She could not believe her mother actually invited the one man she hated more than anything. Her mother had not even listened to her when she tried to tell everyone about Catcher. Maybe she _should_ let Catcher sleep in her bed during their stay here, maybe _then_ they would notice how she felt about Catcher.

Catcher followed Jenna quickly. Any chance to be alone with her, excited him. Especially because he knew it would be practically impossible with her parents so close. They had hardly reached the top of the stairs, before Catcher already touched Jenna’s legs.

“Where is my room, baby? I need to show you something before we go back down again.” Catcher whispered in Jenna’s ear.  
“And what is it that you so desperately need to show me immediately?” Jenna whispered back as she turned herself around and kissed his neck. “What do you need to show me that cannot wait until later?”

Jenna quickly opened the door to Catcher’s room, which was only 2 doors away from her own room. She knew she was playing with fire, but right now, she did not care if she got caught by her parents. She was angry at them for trying to get Carson in her life again and on top of that, she wanted to feel Catcher against her again. It had already been an hour since their little escapade in the car and she wanted more….. A whole lot more…

“I think I am going to enjoy having Carson around. I wouldn’t mind if he stayed the entire weekend, maybe we should ask him if he wants to stay overnight too.”  
“Shut up, Catch” Jenna hissed between kisses. “Right now is not the time to joke about that bastard, we will have an entire evening for that. Right now, you promised to show me something and it’d better involve our lips or else I am not too sure if I am interested right now.” Oh yes, Jenna was beyond just a little turned on.  
“I am afraid it will not involve any lips _yet_. But I am pretty sure you will like it anyway.”

And with these words, he pushed Jenna against the now closed door to his bedroom and pushed himself against her. There was no mistake in what Catcher wanted to ‘show’ Jenna, his erection was so hard that he could knock someone out with it.

“This is what you do to me, baby. This is how you make me feel when you blush the way you just did. And that fire in your eyes when your mother mentioned Carson coming over, it only fuelled my desire more. How about we have some fun with Carson this weekend?”  
“Baby, that is gross. Besides, I never knew you swung that way?”  
“Right now I don’t swing anywhere; I am too hard for you alone. But I would love to play a game with that loser. How about I give you a little kiss right here?”

And that is what Catcher did. Without explaining any further, he gave Jenna a kiss just below her collarbone. Jenna didn’t understand how that could possibly annoy Carson at all, but she would find out soon enough.

“Catch, we really have to go down soon, or else everyone will know about us without us needing to say anything.”  
“They probably do already anyway, so what’s the use denying it all by going down now and stop doing what we are so deliciously doing right now?”  
“If we do _that_ , we will make it absolutely _impossible_ to sneak into each other’s bedrooms during the night. If my father finds out like this, he will be like a hawk during the night and even a trip to the toilet will almost be impossible!”  
“I love this family; one challenge after the other is being handed on a platter.” Catcher snickered.  
“Catch, I am serious. I want my family to accept you, not return to hating you because you are ‘doing their daughter’.”  
“Sorry love. I will try to behave. But then you have to button that last button on your cardigan too.”  
“Why?” Jenna asked as she walked towards the mirror to check if she didn’t look too much like someone who had just been kissed senseless by her lover. She noticed a little spot just under her collarbone where Catcher had kissed her. “Catch, next time you kiss me, at least make sure that you don’t still have breakfast all over your face. Look at me, I look a mess now.” But when Jenna tried to clean herself up, the spot wouldn’t go. “What is this? It won’t go.”  
“Let me see, baby. It looks perfect to me. I am actually quite proud of the shape, almost looks like a heart, doesn’t it?”  
“What are you talking about? And why can’t I get it off?”  
“You don’t think it looks sexy? I do.”  
“Oh my god, please tell me you didn’t? Jenna squeaked as she tried to cover up the love bite in her neck. “You are evil. Carson is going to freak.” A smile graced Jenna’s face. She was going to enjoy every second. Her only worry was her parents seeing it too. But just to see Carson’s face when HE would see that love bite, made every worry about her parents worth while.  
“ _I_ am evil? Look at your face, baby. You are loving it. Just the thought of Carson seeing what I did probably even turns you on more than you are willing to admit to me right now.”  
“Wouldn’t you love to know? Now, we really have to go down before my father comes upstairs with whatever weapon he could find closest to him and turn you into a girl.”

~

“Jenna Taylor, you are pure evil.” Stacey joked when she finally got to talk to her friend alone on the porch.  
“What? What did I do now?”  
“You think I didn’t notice that love bite in your neck? And do you _really_ think that I will believe for one second that Catcher _did not_ give that to you when you showed him his room? I might be pregnant, but I am not stupid.”  
“Do you think Carson saw it yet?”  
“Good god, I truly hope so. I actually heard him talk to your mother about ‘when we are truly married’.”  
“I will marry Carson the day cars learn to fly and birds take over to rule the world!!!!”  
“And even that would be too soon. But you do still have some explaining to do. For starters _why didn’t you tell me about you two?_ If you think I didn’t notice when you arrived here, you are very wrong, missy.”  
“To be very honest … I … never really found the time to call you…. I have been … ehm … _occupied_ all week.”  
“I bet you have been. So…. Tell me all now.”  
“Tell you what?”

Joe!

“About my ehm… boyfriend”  
“Which one? Catcher, who I think is trying to get you back inside by staring a whole through the door? Or Carson, who still has not noticed that love bite in your neck?”  
“So everyone has noticed that _BUT_ Carson? God, he really is ignorant.”

“Ah, there you are. I have been looking all over for you.”  
“Have you now? Weren’t you standing right next to me when I said I was going outside with Stacey?”  
“Did you really? I must have missed that when I was mesmerised by your eyes.”  
“Oh please” Stacey whispered and quickly made her way in. She could not witness this charade any longer. “Jen, you want some coffee? I think Catcher is making some, shall I have him bring you some?”  
“That would be lovely, thanks. We do really have some things we still need to talk about, so don’t go too far.”

“What do you two need to talk about this time? You know you can tell me too, remember?”  
“Oh, don’t worry Carson, I will.” _But I am going to have a little fun first_  
“So what have you been up to lately?” Carson was trying to work his way back into Jenna’s graces by sucking up to her big time.  
“Working a lot. I work for that magazine again and that is going great.”  
“I talked to that office you were going to work for and they are still willing to hire you for that job you applied for before your … ehm…. Breakdown.”  
“Breakdown? When did I do that?”  
“Honey, you really don’t remember? I heard you went through a rough time, but I didn’t know you also suffer memory loss. Do you really not remember us dating? We were engaged too and we were even going to get married. If you like, I can show you pictures, maybe you will get some of those memories back if you see them.”  
“Carson, I am not suffering any memory loss. I remember everything _very_ clearly, including walking away on our wedding day. I was completely sane when I did that, something I can’t say about my time dating you.”  
“Aw, sweetie. Don’t worry, I understand you would rather not talk about it. “  
“What the…? What are you talking about? Don’t you dare make presumptions about something you have absolutely no idea about.”  
“Easy, honey. Let’s not fight, please.”  
“Too late, Carson.”

It was now or never. She had to let Carson know about her and Catcher and she unbuttoned the top button of her cardigan, making sure that love bite was clearly visible.

“Poor Catcher, he really thinks he has a shot, doesn’t he?”  
“Again; what are you talking about?” Jenna shot at Carson. She had a small feeling she knew what he was talking about, but she wanted to make sure before she verbally killed him.  
“Sweetheart…”  
“Don’t call me that, I am not your sweetheart.”  
“Oh honey, you used to love it when I called you that.”  
“No I didn’t, _you_ just always assumed I did. But what did you mean about Catcher?”  
“Honey, he has a crush on you. He is even trying to get friendly with the family now, hoping to get to you through them. Poor guy.”  
“He doesn’t need to do anything to get to m….”  
“I knew it. I knew you were nowhere near interested in that guy.”  
“You still do not know how to let me finish a sentence, do you?”

“Darling, you’ve got something on your shoulder, you spilled some sauce.”

 _Spilled sauce on my shoulder? How on earth would I do that? But at least he noticed it…. here we go_

“Oh… oops” Jenna giggled, hoping she had a little blush on her cheeks for effect. “That’s not sauce, sorry, you should not have seen that.”  
“Are you sick, then?”  
“Not really, no. I-it’s nothing. Forget you saw anything.”  
“What is it? Are you sure you are not sick?”  
“Look, forget about it okay? I don’t want my parent’s to find out about this.”  
“Oh, I get it. You are trying to make me believe it’s a hickey, right? Sweetheart, if you want to make me jealous, please try to make sure that you actually arrive with that mark too. When you arrived that spot was not there.”  
“Shhhh, my parents will hear you.”

Jenna tried her best not to laugh out loud. She could not believe Carson actually called it a ‘hickey’.

“I actually think it is quite sexy that you are trying to win me back by making me jealous.”  
“Oh, Carson, do not worry your pretty little head. I am definitely not trying to ‘win you back’.”  
“Why else would you do this to yourself?”  
“I am not doing anything to myself. I actually had some help with that bite there.”  
“Please don’t tell me Stacey did that?”  
“Listen, my parents do not know yet about the guy I am seeing. I am going to tell them later tonight. Will you please _keep your voice down for once?”_  
Who did this, Jenny? You have only been alone with 2 people today; Stacey and Catcher. Who did this?” Was Carson actually growing angry now? This was too good.  
“Let’s just say that Stacey and I have never felt that way about each other.”  
“That bastard. I will get him.”

Carson ran inside the house, looking for Catcher. When he reached the living room, he found Catcher talk to Jenna’s parents.  
“You bastard. How dare you touch Jenna that way?” He said as he swung his fist at Catcher. Fortunately he was stupid enough to actually miss.  
“Carson, what are you talking about? Stacey spat at Carson.  
“Have you seen what he did to Jenna? The pervert. You are disgusting, you know that?”  
“Carson, you bastard. You have no right to talk to him that way. Just because you never got that far, doesn’t mean you can do this to him. Who do you think you are anyway? Did you really think I would want you back? I don’t even want to be in the same room with you, let alone start over again.”  
“Look at what that… that pervert did to your daughter…” Carson, true to his usual style, never even listened to Jenna. What else is new, right? He actually grabbed Jenna by the arm and showed the love bite to Jenna’s parents.  
“Get your hands off me, you have no right to touch me like that.”  
“Yet, he thinks he does?”  
“No he doesn’t need to think it, he knows it.”  
“What the hell are you talking about?”  
“You are even more stupid than I remember, but thanks for ruining the surprise to my family. We were going to tell everyone about us tonight.”  
“No you are not. Do you really think your parents will accept you dating a divorcee?”  
“Yes, we do, Carson” It was Jenna’s father John who answered. “Catcher actually just asked us for our permission to go out with her and I could not be happier to say that I approve of it.”  
“Are you kidding me? Have you seen what they have been up to when Jenna showed him to his room? He practically raped her.”  
“No he didn’t, you freak. I asked him to give this to me. I wanted this little mark of love, yet he wasn’t too sure about it. It was not my intention to show anyone.”  
“And let me guess, you also slept with him, haven’t you?”  
“Not that that is any of your business, but no. I haven’t changed my opinion about that. I have made a promise to myself and I still stick by that.”  
“Yet, you let him do this to you when you never even let me touch you.”  
“That might be because you kept pushing me into doing things I didn’t want to. Go home, Carson. Don’t come back.”

Carson could not believe this was actually happening again. He looked around the room and this time even Jenna’s mother seemed to agree with Jenna and gave him a stern look. Was he really asked to leave the house of the woman he was sure he would marry one day? He stood there for another 15 minutes, not saying anything. His anger was clear and mostly pointed at Catcher. A few times he balled his fists and showed he was ready to punch Catcher in the face.

“Go home, Carson. Get over it.” Jenna said after 15 minutes. She needed to talk to her family and she didn’t want him there any longer.  
“Don’t come crying to me when he dumps you, Jenny.”  
“Don’t you worry about that, I promise you I will _never ever_ do that.”

And with these words, Jenna walked to the front door and opened it, waiting for Carson to follow. When he stepped outside, he turned around once more, clearly wanting to say one last thing. Jenna wasn’t interested in it though and closed the door in his face.


	40. 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 36**

When Jenna returned to the living room, all eyes were on her.

“I-I am so sorry you had to find out like that. I was actually going to tell you about us tonight.”  
“Catcher already talked to us, dear. He actually asked our permission to go out with you, that was a very nice thing to do.”  
“You really did that?”  
“Of course I did. It was the least thing I could do. I know how your family feels about me as a divorced man and I wanted to make sure they would be okay with it.”  
“That is amazing. I cannot believe you would do that for me… us”

“I-I have an apology to make, dear.” Maggie spoke up nervously. “I-I never should have invited Carson over. I-I don’t really know why I did it. Maybe it was still some preserve about divorced men. I’m sorry about that, it really is nothing personal Catcher, it was just the way I was brought up, I guess. I am so sorry about that. I-I promise it will never happen, dear. Please accept my apology. If it helps, I have never seen you this happy before, dear. You two really make a beautiful couple.” Wow, Jenna could not remember the last time her mother actually apologised to her about anything.  
“It’s okay mum. The fact that you actually felt like apologizing is more than enough.”  
“I-I also know that it should not be any of my business, but I am very proud of you for keeping your promise to yourself. I think you are the only one who actually kept it.”

Now it was Jenna’s turn to blush. If only they all knew the truth. That afternoon she had almost blown all caution to the wind and made love to Catcher. It was getting harder and harder to keep that promise of which her mother was so proud. The more time she spent with Catcher, the more she was convinced that she should forget about that at all and give him what she has been dying to give him since the day she met Catcher. She was tired of waiting and her strength to do so was practically gone by now. The only way she would be able to keep her promise was if she either stopped seeing Catcher or if they got married within this week.

“Hey, hey, hey, I resent that. I never made love to my wife before we got married.” Joe had to chip in.  
“Sure Joseph.” Maggie winked at her son.

That evening they talked about how long Jenna has actually felt about Catcher and visa versa. They talked about the baby Joe and Stacey were expecting and even about Jenna’s job at _Now_. They talked for hours and did not go to bed until way after midnight.

“Jenna” her father called for her, making sure that Catcher was also still near. “Just because you two have my approval for a relation doesn’t mean my rules have changed. There will still be no sleeping together or anything else you know I do not approve of before marriage.”  
“I know dad. Don’t worry.”  
“I promise I will behave, Mr. Taylor.”

“I promise I will behave” Jenna mimicked when they were out of earshot from her father.   
“Wanna hear something scary?” Catcher said  
“Scare me…”  
“I am actually going to keep that promise…”  
“Yes and cars fly”  
“What is it with you and flying cars? Stacey told me you said you would not go out with Carson until cars flew either.”  
“Because it is something I know is impossible.”  
“Then I’d better keep my eyes fixed on the sky, because I don’t want to break that promise. I need your parents to trust me, or else they will never trust me enough to marry you one day. So as long as we are here, I would really want to keep to that promise. I will make up for it once we are back in New York though.”  
“I don’t believe it; Catcher Block is actually going to keep his hands to himself? I cannot wait to see that. I am going to bed now and wait for you to crack and sneak in with me anyway.”

~

The following day was spent with Jenna’s family again. Catcher had kept to his promise and left Jenna alone that night. It was the longest night of his life, but he felt like it was something he needed to do to gain the trust of her family.

Jenna spent a lot of time with her sisters-in-law who could not stop asking her about her new boyfriend and above all wonder, they actually seemed to accept Catcher more than they ever did Carson. Of course the women also talked about the kids and pregnancies a lot, since Stacey was of course not the only pregnant woman in the family. After many years of trying Nina and Charlie were now also expecting their first child and Jenna’s twin brother Jim and his wife Angela were actually expecting their sixth in 3 months time.

Catcher was warmly welcomed by the men of the family and talked business and fishing all day. Jenna’s brothers kept joking about Catcher’s lack of knowledge of cars and the fact that Jenna actually knew everything about it that he didn’t.

The night that followed, Catcher kept to the promise he made Jenna’s father again. It frustrated Jenna more than she thought she ever would. That past week they had been together every night, even if they did nothing more but make out and sleep. She had gotten used to his warmth so quickly and she had a hard time falling asleep without him near. On top of that, they had not been able to spend a minute alone without their family bugging them. They had exchanged looks and winks of course, but no kisses or touches and it drove Jenna insane with desire.

Boy, was Catcher in trouble on Sunday. They were finally going to visit that lake that Catcher was so curious to see. Jenna could not stop thinking about what Catcher had said he wanted to do there one day and the thought alone of making love to him in that water made it even worse for her to fall asleep. Her panties were soaking wet because of the thoughts of doing it by the lake.

After hardly any sleep, Jenna woke up before 7 in the morning. She quickly went to the shower to get the smell of desire off of her, burying the soaking panties deep in her weekend bag. By the time her parents and Catcher woke up, she had breakfast all ready and was even almost done with packing up the picnic bag she and Catcher were taking with them that day.

“Are you ready to go?” Jenna asked another 2 hours later. She couldn’t wait to be alone with him any longer.  
“Absolutely. I already put everything in the car.” It seemed that Catcher was also in quite a hurry to leave the house and be alone with his girlfriend.

10 minutes underway, Jenna asked Catcher to stop the car.  
“Are we there already? I thought you said it was at least an hour drive?”  
“It is.”  
“Then why are we stopping here?”  
But Jenna did not answer with words. She only got up and positioned herself in Catcher’s lap and started to kiss him. As surprised as Catcher was, he definitely did not hesitate to return her kisses. He had been just as anxious to kiss Jenna as she had been. He had just been too scared to do so. He was afraid that Jenna might not appreciate it while they were still so near the house.

“Finally” Jenna whispered after a number of minutes.  
“You can say that again. I like your family, but not being able to kiss you or touch you for the last few days was killing me.”  
“ _You_ can say _that_ again. I couldn’t believe it that you actually kept your promise and stayed in your bedroom all night. You never even sneaked in for a kiss.”  
“Those were the longest two nights of my life. Next time we stay with your parents, we better make sure we have some sort of access to each others rooms, because I don’t think I can do this again. I was even too scared to go to the bathroom without worrying your father would come out to kill me or something.”  
“Are you really expecting me to feel sorry for you now? _You_ made that promise, I didn’t. If you make promises to my father like that again, I think I will break up with you right there and then.”  
“No you won’t. You know I cannot live without you and you would never do that to me. Plus, if you would break up with me, you would never get to kiss these lips again.”  
“If you make a promise like that again, I will. Now shut up and kiss me again. We have 2 nights to make up for in one day.”  
Catcher did not need to be told that twice!

It actually took them twice as long as it could have taken them. Every few miles either one made the other stop the car so they could kiss the other. Every time they did their passion heated up higher and higher.

Once they got to the lake, Catcher parked the car and asked if they were going to walk around the lake first or if Jenna wanted to eat first. Jenna decided upon the walk first. That way Catcher would actually be able to talk about it when they returned to her parents. She knew that if they would eat first, that walk around the lake would never happen.

Catcher loved every second of it. They talked a lot about their future and about both businesses. Of course they had to talk about that weekend too; Carson, her family and his acceptance into Jenna’s family. By the time they returned to Catcher’s car, they were actually both surprised to be back so quickly.

“Let’s get the basket and walk a little along the lake again. I know a beautiful spot where Stacey and I used to go to when we were younger. It’s secluded, but still right along the lake. You will love it, I promise.”  
“If you say so love. I don’t really care where you take me, as long as I get to be with you.”  
“Slime….” Jenna laughed as she ran from him.

By the time Catcher caught up with Jenna again. Jenna was already changed into her bathing suite and ready to take a swim in the beautiful lake. Jenna still pretended to play with Catcher, but in reality she wanted to cool off a bit, hoping the cold water worked the same wonders as her cold showers did.

“Put the basket down and come for a swim first. It’s lovely.” She called out to Catcher. Truth was that the water was colder than she expected but she was too scared to say that after she had jumped into it so quickly.

“Holy hell, this is cold.” Catcher yelped when he got in.  
“Don’t be such a wuss, it’s not that bad.” Jenna still lied. Even after 5 minutes, she was still freezing. Her nipples were sharp as razors, but unfortunately not because of the cold water. She was still not cooled off and seeing Catcher in nothing more but his own swimming suite only fuelled her desire more.

“I wish I could say that I am getting out of the water because I am hungry, but truth is; I am freezing my … butt off and I want to warm up some.” What he didn’t add was that he could not take it for much longer to see Jenna swim so near, yet he couldn’t do to her what he _really_ wanted to do in that lake.

After lunch, Catcher lay down on his back and just looked up at the sky. He could not believe how beautiful it was out here. He could not remember being this happy before; he felt like the luckiest man on this earth. He had the woman he loved beside him and she loved him as much as he did her.

Jenna sat next to him, just watching him. His eyes were now closed, but she knew he was not asleep. They had both gotten dressed again as it was too cold to sit in their wet swimming gears. It was a big challenge for Jenna not to watch Catcher while he dried off behind a few trees. She knew a perfect spot where she would have been able to see him get dressed without him noticing it, but in the end she decided not to. She knew she would regret it because she would see some things she wanted yet could not have yet.

“Honey?” Catcher said in a sugar sweet voice, trying to keep his voice from laughing  
“Please, not you too?”  
“What? You don’t like it when I call you ‘honey’ _darling_?”  
“Not unless you are my grandmother, _dear_...” Jenna laughed.  
“Ouch, ‘dear’, I don’t think anyone but your mother should say that. I am sorry, love, I promise I will never do that to you ever again.”  
“Good!!”

“Are you enjoying today?” Catcher continued.  
“Absolutely” Jenna smiled at him “Are you?”  
“It’s perfect. I am glad you showed this beautiful place. We should definitely come here more often.”  
“I don’t think you could ever keep me away from here. I have so many memories here. Me and Stacey had the best times here when growing up.” Jenna lay down too, using Catcher’s stomach as her pillow. She did not lye next to him, fearing she would not be able to control herself if she would. This way she still touched him, but she would not be able to get tempted to go too much further. “Especially during the summer we were here a lot. During summer holiday we were here almost every day.”  
“Was it always just the two of you? Never more friends?”  
“Of course we brought our friends with us too at times. But not always. As well as some of my brothers, especially Joey came along often. I don’t think he was in love with Stacey at that time already, but just like me, he liked to escape from my parents at times. When we got older, Stacey brought her boyfriends with her a lot and they brought their annoying friends with _them_ usually.”  
“And you now want to make me believe you never made out with any of them?”  
“I don’t need to make you believe anything. I know I never did and if you don’t believe it, that’s up to you.”  
“I was only kidding, love.”  
“I remember this one guy, he really thought he was something. He thought I fancied him because I kept giggling every time he came near. What he didn’t know until the end of the day was he had had his swim suite on backwards all day and … let’s just say, his mother hadn’t washed them the last time he wore them.”  
“So you really never made out here?”  
“Why should I have? I have really never been interested in any of the guys Stacey’s boyfriends brought along. I have never been one to kiss a guy, just to be kissed. You are the first guy ever that I would like to _make out_ with here.”  
“I feel honoured, love.”

Jenna got up, her head protested because it knew that she would have a very hard time not to continue with that kiss she was about to give.  
Once her lips touched his, her head stopped screaming at her. She knew it was right. She also knew she would not be able to stop if Catcher didn’t say anything and her head, her heart and her entire body agreed with her. Why stop if right now was the right time? Why would she need a piece of paper stating their license first? Would it really make such a big difference if they waited any longer until they actually held that piece of paper in their hands?

Jenna lay half on top of Catcher as she kissed him sweetly. Her right hand played with the buttons of his shirt and slowly one by one were undone. Catcher was being more careful; he kept his hands on her back and her right arm. He too knew too well he would not be able to stop if he touched her anywhere else.

Jenna moved her lips to his neck. Every time she softly bit him in the nape of his neck, she could feel Catcher tremble more and more. She moved her hands lower to his belly and her kisses to his chest. That delicious chest she could not get enough of. She could feel Catcher tremble with desire underneath her and she knew how much he loved it when she kissed his nipples. Jenna continued to kiss Catcher softly and calmly. She knew they were far away from civilization and that they had all the time in the world. When she finally reached that bellybutton that she desired to kiss so badly, she felt Catcher pulling her up. When she looked into Catcher’s eyes she got more confused. She could see the same desire in his eyes as she felt inside of her, then why did he want her to stop?

“Baby, please, I beg you to stop.”  
“Why? Don’t you like it? Am I doing this wrong?” Jenna did not hide her disappointment anymore. She wanted Catcher to see her worries and her confusions.  
“Baby you are doing everything so right that I can hardly control myself any longer. If you keep this up, I will not be able to stop when you want me to.”  
“Then don’t”  
“Baby, you don’t understand. If you keep this up, I will not be able to control my desire and my need to make love to you. You made a vow and I promised you I would keep to that promise too, but right now I am having the hardest time keeping myself to that promise.”  
“Then don’t” she repeated again.  
“No, love, we shouldn’t. You will regret that tomorrow.”  
“I promise you that I won’t. You have no idea how hard it has been for me the last week to keep myself to that cursed vow I took. I don’t want to wait any longer, I am tired of waiting. I think I have waited long enough. I **know** I will not regret anything if we proceed with what we are doing.”  
“Yes you will.” Catcher whispered. Inside his head he was screaming ‘please don’t do this to me, I will not be able to keep myself in control if you keep this up’.  
“No, Catch, I **won’t**. I **want** to do this. I **want** you to make love to me. I **want** to know what it’s like to really be with you and I **do not** want to wait until we have that piece of paper in our hands stating we are officially man and wife. If we truly wait until that moment, we will need to wait for at least one more year and I know for sure I will not survive sleeping next to you, yet never taking it to that level we both desire to be so much.”  
“But I don’t want you to regret anything afterwards. You know you cannot take it back once I am inside of you?”  
“I know that and I don’t want to take anything back. All I want is for us to make love right now.”  
“Baby, please…”  
“No Catch, please make love to me….”

“Are you sure, are you really really sure?”  
“I don’t think I have ever been so sure about anything in my entire life.”  
“I cannot believe you are willing to give up your lifelong vow for me. I love you Jen.” Catcher still whispered.  
“I love you so much, Catch. My entire life I was brought up thinking it was wrong to do this without being properly married first, but I really want to do this now. It’s not just for you I am doing this for; I guess I am doing this for me too.”  
“You’d better be doing this for yourself too. I don’t think I can live with myself knowing you only did this for me.”  
“Make love to me Catch.”  
“But…”  
“No buts, no regrets, I promise.”

Catcher slowly rolled Jenna on her back and continued to kiss her as slowly and softly as Jenna had done to him before. He wanted to make sure she would not regret one single second of this adventure they were about to take. He noticed how nervous Jenna was, but she had determination and desire in her eyes too and that told him he was not making a mistake.

Jenna started to unbutton her own blouse and after that she tried to find the zip to her skirt too.

“Baby, let me do that. I don’t want you to do anything. All I want is to see you enjoy it all. I will handle the rest.”

But Jenna was still restless. All of a sudden she did not know what to do with her hands, or her legs. Should she move her legs apart, she would need to eventually, wouldn’t she? And what about her hands? Should she keep them in his neck where she usually held them? Or should she move them to places she had never put them before?

“Baby, what’s wrong? You are doubting if this is right, aren’t you? Please love, don’t do this if you are not 1000% sure of this. I really do not mind the wait, you are more than worth that.”  
“N-no, no doubts, just nervous I guess. Please, please Catch, don’t stop.”

“Come here, love. Put your arms around me and give me those delicious lips” As if Catcher knew what troubled Jenna, he took her worries away instantly. It worked too. Jenna relaxed a little more and she was now a bit more able to enjoy the ride.

He kissed her until her lips were beyond swollen. All the while he tried to remain calm and not attack her body the way his own body screamed for. If he rushed things, he would not give Jenna what she deserved. And she deserved it all.

Finally his lips left hers and a trail of kisses followed down to her breasts via her neck. He also stopped at the love bite he had given her 2 days earlier. It was fading now, but still clearly visible and recognisable as one. He kissed it softly and then continued his trail of kisses, not stopping until he reached his first destination.

When he reached her bra, his fingers trembled when he touched her nipples over the fabric.  
“You are so beautiful, love. I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.”  
He kissed her right nipple through the fabric. He remembered how he had done so all that time ago and how much she had enjoyed it then. Just like last time, Jenna reacted to it immediately. She curved her back and sighed out loud. He blew over the now wet fabric of her bra and he noticed Jenna’s goose bumps immediately. He treated her other breast exactly the same and with each blow over her wet bra, Jenna got more and more excited.

“Baby, will you let me take off your bra and blouse?”  
Jenna said yes, but no sound made it out of her mouth. She helped Catcher take off what he had asked for, while Catcher kissed her again. When she lay back down, she felt the soft spring breeze caress her still wet nipples and it heightened her excitement even more, if that were even possible.

Catcher covered her body again and returned to what he had been doing, this time without any fabric in the way. He kissed the skin of her breast and then took her nipple into his mouth. He held her tight as he enjoyed the combination of the softness of her skin and her hard and erect nipple. Jenna almost went insane with lust. She felt like she was on fire and Catcher’s lips and the soft breeze were trying to cool her off, but with every kiss she felt, her fire only heated up more. She needed to feel more soon or she feared she would explode. She already felt that somewhat familiar feeling stirring inside her body and she knew it would be over if she let that feeling take over. If she came now, Catcher would probably stop with this ‘royal treatment’ and continue with his own satisfaction, because why would he keep doing that if she already had her orgasm, right?

Jenna felt the trail of kisses go lower and lower until they reached her bellybutton. She remembered that intense feeling she felt whenever he kissed around it and she couldn’t wait for it again, but this time she was surprised by a different kind of kiss. Instead of being kissed around her bellybutton like she expected, he dipped his tongue inside it, just like she had done that week before. He kissed her as if he was kissing her mouth and it was incredible. Now she started to understand why Catcher had made her stop when she had done so; he wouldn’t have been able to stop either if she had continued then.

“Baby, m-may I…” Catch whispered again, his voice was also gone, but Jenna knew what he meant, even without looking what he could mean.  
“Please” she whispered back. Again trying to find the zip of her skirt.

When Catch found it and unzipped her skirt, he did not take it off right away. As if he was afraid to continue. He still could not believe what they were about to do.

Jenna felt hands appear under her skirt and when she opened her eyes, she found Catcher watch her while his hands caressed her legs up to her thighs. He kept her legs together for a little longer and that calmed Jenna a bit again. Now she knew he wouldn’t just have sex with her and then get dressed immediately after. They really were about to make love!

“Would you like to hear another fantasy I have?”  
“Yes”  
“Ever since I saw you in that wedding gown a week before your wedding to what’s-his-name” He winked when he called Carson that. “I have wanted to crawl underneath that dress and kiss you like you have never been kissed before.”  
“Kiss me where?”  
“I will show you in a bit. I **promise** ”

“Can you lift a bit?” Catcher asked her a bit later. He finally decided to take her skirt off and Jenna hoped he would accidentally take her underwear with it too.

But when her skirt was off, Catcher returned his lips to hers first, before he returned to her stomach once more. When he reached Jenna’s panties, he stopped. Jenna was afraid that her wet panties might have turned him off.

“I-I-I am sorry. I don’t know why, but that keeps happening.”  
“What does, love?”  
“T-that” she said as she looked at her underwear.  
“You mean that they are soaking and smell delicious?”  
“Yo-you like that?”  
“So much I can hardly control myself. Baby, this shows me how much you want me. You are ready to welcome me inside your body and it is the biggest turn on for any man to see and smell a woman like this.”  
“R-really?” She still was not convinced yet.  
“Really!”

Jenna expected Catcher to turn to that final spot next. She already prepared for his question to ‘lift’ once more so he could take of that last piece of clothing still left on her body. She was actually surprised when Catcher lifted her left leg and started to kiss her calf and her knee and the inside of her thigh first. He stayed away from that one place she wanted to be touched so badly. Though his kisses on the inside of her thigh lasted longer and were more wet than the ones he had given on any other part of her leg. Jenna felt another love bite high up on her thigh and then nothing. When she opened her eyes, Catcher lifted her other leg and gave it the same treatment as her left leg. He also ended it the same way as her left leg.

“I’ve got two more love bites, don’t I?”  
“Hh-hm”  
“You really enjoyed that too, didn’t you?”  
“Oh yes!” Catcher replied with a twinkle in his eyes as he lay on top of his love again.  
“You are not cold, are you?” Catcher now asked her, while he kissed her neck again. Jenna was only wearing her underwear and even though it was spring and the weather was nice, she could still be cold.   
“On fire is more like it.”  
“Really? That’s good, babylove.”  
“Babylove? Are you combining nicknames now?”  
“You don’t like it?”  
“Oh yes!”

“I still feel like the luckiest man on earth, did you know that?”  
“What I feel doesn’t even have a name yet. It’s hard to imagine it could get even better than this.”  
“Then don’t imagine anything, I promise you this is nothing yet.”  
“Then what are we waiting for?”  
“Because I am still so afraid you might change your mind. I want to give you that chance, if you do.”  
“I won’t. I couldn’t change my mind, even if I wanted to. This is right, love.”  
“Hey that one is mine. You find your own nickname for me.”  
“I will, but until then I like borrowing yours.”  
“Shhhh, kiss me, baby.”

Jenna loved Catcher’s lips. They were perfect to her. More importantly, they knew what they were doing and they were doing it right.

While Catcher was kissing Jenna, Jenna managed to free one of her legs and wrap it around Catcher’s waist. She now finally felt Catcher’s arousal against her own core. He was so hard that Jenna now feared it might hurt more than she had imagined at first. At the same time, she got more and more aroused by how hard he really was. Even though they were still separated by 3 layers of fabric, she could almost feel every vein and she wanted more and before she knew it she told him this.

“What ‘more’ do you want, love?” a wink told Jenna that he knew exactly what she had meant, but that he wanted to hear her say it.  
“More of you, all of you”  
“Do you now? And what exactly were you thinking of?”  
“I think we’ve done enough talking, we need more action. Just give me what we both want” Jenna’s eyes sparkled.

Jenna closed the distance between their lips again and this time their kisses were not as soft and slow as they had been before. Jenna was actually growing impatient, she was done with all the kissing, she wanted more, she wanted it all and that was never going to happen if they kept kissing.

Catcher let go of Jenna’s lips when he noticed Jenna grew restless again. He knew her well enough to know that she wanted what they had agreed upon over an hour ago. Though he refused to take her there too fast. He followed the same trail of kisses as he had done before, but this time instead of kissing her sexy legs, he stopped in front of her panties again. He looked up at Jenna to see if she was really okay with it and when he saw it was okay he kissed her over her panties.

Jenna’s eyes flew wide open. She had expected Catcher to take off her underwear, she had never expected this. Was he really kissing her _there_? Just like she had seen Carson do in her nightmares?

Because she had seen _him_ do so in her nightmares, she figured that that was something wrong or disgusting. But now that Catcher was doing it to her, she was surprised by the wonderful feeling. And if she could feel this tingling sensation with her panties still on, what would happen if he did that when they were off?

All too soon she felt an orgasm build up again. No, no, no, this could not happen. Not yet, not now, not before they had actually ‘done it’. What was she going to do now? She could not fake not having an orgasm, could she? Should she tell him?

“Catch, please stop, I am so close already. I don’t want it to end this soon.”  
“Baby, we will not end _anything_ for a _long_ time yet. Come for me baby, I want to see you come.”  
“No, no, not yet.”  
“Why not yet?”  
“I can’t… yet, before… you know…?”  
Finally Catcher understood her worries.  
“Oh baby, hell yes you can. In fact I will go home disappointed if I knew you only came once. That is one of the few things _all_ men are jealous of; a woman can have multiple orgasms. I still think it is not fair. The advantage for us is though, that we _men_ now have the ability to make our women come as many times as we want to. Now **that** is exactly what I intend to do this afternoon and as often as I possibly can after that.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“As sure as I am about the pope being Catholic. Please baby, come for me. Or maybe I should take away this obstruction first.”

As he said this, he tugged on Jenna’s underwear. Jenna understood that hint immediately and lifted her bum again. Before he went back to where he last left off, he kissed Jenna again, but not for long. Before Jenna knew it, she felt Catcher’s hot breath in a place no man had ever gone before. She was still shy about spreading her legs, but she did try. Catcher did not say anything about it, he also never tried to spread them further than Jenna allowed herself to. If Jenna was not comfortable about that yet, then he would just wait until she was.

The first touch of Catcher’s tongue to Jenna’s most secret core sent a bolt of lightning through Jenna’s body. The intense feeling she had felt when Catcher kissed her over her panties was now intensified by a million times and an orgasm only was one breath away. Before she knew it, her entire body spasmed and everything went black.

While Jenna tried to return back to earth, Catcher had made his way back to her face again. All he did was watch her. He could not remember seeing anything more beautiful than this woman in total bliss. If only she had not called in sick one week ago, he would have definitely done that tomorrow and the days that followed after that.

But… would she allow him to after today? What if she did realise that what they were about to do was a mistake? What if, afterwards, she blames him for tricking her into this, even though it was all her idea? What if she blames herself for not being strong enough?

No she wouldn’t. He could see it in her eyes that she really wanted to do this.

What if he disappointed her? He knew he had enough experience with women to know that he was good in bed. He knew how to please a woman well. But what if he could not please Jenna that way? What if she didn’t like it the way he had always done it? What if she thought he was no good at it at all? He had always felt it would be an honour if he would be her first, but he had never thought about the downside to it. He had never thought about the extra tension to make sure he performed perfectly.

“What’s the matter? You look scared. Do you want to stop?”  
“N-no way. Not in a million years. It might sound weird, but I am actually nervous now.”  
“Why on earth would _YOU_ , Catcher Block; ladies man, mans man, man about town, be _nervous_? It’s not like you have never done this before.”  
“No, I know that, but this is your first time and I don’t want to screw this up. I will never forgive myself if this goes wrong.”  
“Why would it go wrong? You have had plenty of girlfriends, so you must do something right. Please don’t stop now.”  
“I won’t” Catcher whispered.

Before Catcher even dared to enter Jenna’s body, he wanted to know how she would react to it. He laid himself against Jenna and started to kiss her neck once more. He let his hands caress her body until he felt Jenna at complete ease. His right hand slowly tickled its way to her centre and carefully he let one finger slip between the folds of her most intimate part of her body. Jenna gasped for air as she had not expected this to happen, but quickly calmed again when Catcher set a rhythmic pace. Another finger joined the first one, which caused Jenna to cry out with pleasure again.

What was he doing to her? Why didn’t she know about all this? If she had known it was _this_ good, she would have done this years ago. How could she have been so stupid to keep herself from this heaven of pleasure? But then again, if she _had_ done this years ago, Catcher would never have been her first…

When Jenna felt a tongue caress her right nipple, everything went black again. She screamed out loud as her orgasm sent her flying over the moon. This was her second orgasm in such a short time already and she didn’t know how much more she could take if Catcher didn’t make love to her soon. She could not believe this was actually normal for a woman to feel like this so many times and so explosively.

Catcher quickly took off his remaining clothes, he thought it best if they were out of the way instead of Jenna watching as he took it all off. If she was to see that, he knew her nerves would return tenfold and she could get scared of what they were about to do. The most important thing right now, was to make sure Jenna was at ease.

Finally Catcher positioned himself on top of her and he was ready to enter her body. He could definitely not wait any longer. If he did, he would explode himself.  
“Baby, I hate to say this right now, but it’s going to hurt at first. But if it hurts, I want you to tell me and I will stop and wait until you are okay again. Please promise me you will tell me.”  
“O-Okay”  
“Look at me when I come in, please. I really want to see your eyes and your face and … well everything about you really. I love you, baby.”  
“I-I love you too. Please hurry now, I want to feel you.”

Catcher never took his eyes off Jenna’s face when he spread her legs a bit further so he had better access. Nor did he blink when he pressed the tip of his length against Jenna’s opening. He had never seen her this nervous before, not even in the weeks before that wedding she didn’t want to have.

When he passed the first 2 inches inside her folds, he felt Jenna tremble.  
“Relax, baby, you feel so good.” Hopefully her trembling would stop after he soothed her. He wasn’t sure if he would even be able to enter her body if she trembled like this.  
When he finally felt that resistance he dreaded so much, he noticed Jenna’s face changed.  
“I am so sorry baby, I know this must hurt. Do you want me to stop?”  
“Please don’t stop. If we stop now, we will have to deal with it the next time and I would _really_ like to get rid of it now and hopefully enjoy it soon.”  
“I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but if you try to relax a bit more, it will not hurt as much. Are you ready for me to go on? Or do you want me to wait a few seconds more?”  
“Please go on. Please?”

As Catcher slowly and carefully pushed a little further, he actually felt the tear and then watched tears role down Jenna’s cheeks. Jenna never cried out with pain, she didn’t want him to think she was a wuss.  
“Baby, what did I tell you? You are in pain, come here, love.” And Catcher held Jenna until he felt her stop crying. Jenna didn’t want to be weak though, she thought she was stronger than that. Billions of women went through this before her.  
“Stop that. I can see it in your eyes; you think you are weak because it hurts. Baby, you are not weak, you are so strong and you are allowed to feel like you do. I have a story that I could tell, but right now _that_ particular one is very inappropriate. I will tell you that one day. Please just allow yourself to process this pain, I promise you that it will get better before I am done with you. If not, I will vow to you that I will not stop until I see you enjoy this as much as I do. Even if it takes me all night.”

It took a little while until Jenna felt the pain ebb away. Though it didn’t really leave totally. She did start to enjoy it towards the end.

Catcher on the other hand was too scared to tell her she lost quite a bit of blood. Of course he had had sex with virgins before and he knew that this always happened, but he hated to see that blood on this particular woman, because this time he was truly in love.

When Catcher noticed that Jenna relaxed, he finally allowed himself to enjoy it too. He could see she was still in pain, but she was trying to enjoy it to the max and ignore the pain she still felt. He repositioned himself a little bit and he softly thrust in and out, never stopping the kisses to every part of her body he could reach. When he looked at Jenna, he noticed that his change had the effect he desired. He could see that she enjoyed it that this position also softly rubbed her clitoris and thus causing her third orgasm. As soon as he felt the spasms against his own length, he lost all ability to hold and let himself join the waves of pleasure together with Jenna.

After a few minutes of holding each other, Jenna started to tremble again. Catcher worried that _this_ was the moment he feared so much, that she regretted doing what they had just done.

“Love, are you alright? You are trembling.”  
“I know and I don’t even know why. Is that normal too? It’s like a tingling tremble all over.”  
“Really?” Catcher smiled again. “You are not just saying that, are you?”  
“No, of course not.”  
“You really enjoyed it? I know I hurt you more than you expected.”  
“I never thought it would hurt _this_ much. But I also didn’t think I could already enjoy it this soon. I mean, I figured the first few times would be like that, but after a while the pain almost went away and I really started to like it.”  
“You don’t regret it, do you?”  
“Yes, I do.”  
Catcher’s heart plummeted. He knew it was too good to be true. He could never forgive himself anymore. Why didn’t he refuse? Why had he done this?  
“I regret not doing this years ago. I still cannot believe how stupid I have been all these years.”  
“Oh my goodness, you really are a cruel woman. Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Catcher held Jenna for what felt like an hour. It took Jenna quite a while before the trembling stopped. He knew they had to clean up soon though; Jenna’s blood was still all over their lower bodyparts and it was starting to dry up.

“How about we go take another dip in the lake to clean us up a bit? After that I will give you two choices; 1, we cuddle and talk a bit or 2, we don’t talk but you let me ravish you again and again, giving me a chance to show you how much more fun we can have.”  
“Or 3, we stay in that lake a little longer and fulfil that fantasy you told me about on Friday???”  
“A woman after my heart, I knew you would be addicted within no time.”

When Catcher sat up, Jenna saw for the first time what the result of her pain was.  
“Oh my goodness, look at all that blood.”  
“I-I know baby, that was why I suggested we go for a swim and clean up a bit. I am so sorry love.”  
“Is that normal?”  
“I am afraid it is. But if it makes you feel any better, it only bleeds the first time. You will not bleed again. Are you okay to get up? Do you want me to help you?”  
“I-I think I can get up. Why wouldn’t I?”  
“You’ll see” Catcher snickered.  
“What is that supposed to mean, huh? I didn’t loose _that_ much blood” Jenna said as she tried to get up by herself, but fell down again just as fast.  
“No baby, the blood won’t make you weak, but your _3 orgasms_ sure will” Catcher laughed again, as he kissed her passionately and lifted her up and carried her in the lake.


	41. 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 37**

Catcher parked the car in front of the Taylor house. Jenna had fallen asleep almost as soon as she sat down in the car seat. Catcher did not want to wake her up just yet and so he carried all the picnic gear in first.

“Hello, Catcher dear, how was your trip?”  
“It was beautiful, Mrs. Taylor, I definitely want to come back there again.” Oh yes, his pun was intended alright, though Maggie Taylor had no clue of it.  
"Ah, that is nice to hear, dear. Where is Jenna?”  
“She is still asleep in the car. I didn’t want to wake her when I unloaded the car, but I am sure she won’t mind now.”

But someone beat him to it. That certain someone was Stacey and she had the biggest grin on her face. She could see from miles away what Jenna had been up to that afternoon. Boy, was she going to enjoy every second of their conversation.

“Wakey, wakey, Jen.” Stacey said a little louder than you would usually wake up a person. “Don’t tell me that one afternoon of hot steaming sex tires you out _that_ much.”  
And with that remark, Jenna’s eyes flew wide open. Stacey had not just said _that_ out loud, had she? Oh please, please, please, don’t let anyone but her have heard that. Her parents would kill her….She would be thirty in a few years time, but still her parents would skin her if they knew about this.  
“Aha, I knew I was right. I could see it a few miles away already. Sleep does not hide satisfaction, sweetie and it’s _very_ obvious to see that you are _satisfied_ ”  
“What-What are you talking about?”  
“Good grief, when will you _ever_ learn to lie better? You better learn it quickly, if you want to fool your parents.”  
“I refuse to fall for your tricks, I will not spill one little detail of what happened this afternoon, not one single hot and steamy hint will leave my lips.” Two could play that game.  
“If you dare to leave for New York without telling me everything, I will tell your parents about it.”  
“What’s there to tell? I am sure you are dying to hear me talk about how perfect it was, how I got kissed in places I never thought possible or about 3 amazing orgasms, but I am afraid you will be disappointed.”  
“Na-ah”  
“Ya-ha… Hi mum” Jenna had seen her mother talk to Catcher in the doorway a few minutes and this meant she could not say a word about today’s adventure.  
“Hello dear, Catcher told me you two had a lovely day today.”  
“We sure did, mum. I had to promise him that next time we are here, I would take him there again.”  
Stacey laughed out loud at her remark, poor Maggie Taylor, again she had no idea what was really said.

“So, what did you all do at the lake?” Stacey was not done with Jenna yet.  
“We took a long walk around the lake, had a nice lunch and we went for a swim. Though Catcher didn’t like that too much, he found the water too cold.”  
“I am sure he did” Stacey whispered in Jenna’s ear.  
“And after lunch?”  
“We talked a lot.”  
“About what, Jen?”  
“Well, _Stace_ , I will tell you. About how we grew up and how often we went to the lake when we were young. Do you remember ‘skidMark’?”  
“Oh, please no. I actually ran into him a few weeks ago and all I could think about was that swim suite. He must have thought I was insane, because I had such a hard time not to laugh out loud again.”  
“It sounds like you had a lovely day, dear. I am going to finish up dinner, only about 20 more minutes.”  
“Thank you, Mrs… Mum, Jenna and I will be on the porch until then. Catcher, Joe is out back. I need to talk to Jenna before dinner…. Something very important.”  
“I am sure you do. Don’t wear her out too much though, our … conversation… from this afternoon is not done yet and I would love to … hear … more.” Catcher winked at Stacey. Of course he knew what they were going to talk about, he had clearly heard Stacey’s wake up method earlier.

“So, sit, talk, we have only gotten 20 minutes.”  
“Stace, this is weird.”  
“No, it’s weird that I still do not know the whole story yet.”  
“I never asked you about your first time with your husband.”  
“That is because he is also _your brother_ and you said that would be sick. But I would be more than happy to share that whole story with you now.”  
“Oh dear god, please no. I think _that_ would even be considered as incest.”  
“Then stop stalling and start talking.”  
“What do you want to know?”  
“For starters; how come Ms.-I-promise-to-stay-a-virgin-until-my-wedding-night all of a sudden decided NOT to?”  
“Have you seen him? Would you be able to keep your hands off him? Even that one night when I was still with Carson and when I was still _very_ convinced I would stay true to that darn vow, I was willing to throw every vow I ever made out the window if I could have even just one night with him.”  
“Was it worth the wait?”  
“Oh hell yes.” Jenna answered with a smile on her face, remembering every moment of that afternoon. “Though…. Had I know about _this_ years ago, I don’t know if I would have held out without it this long.”  
“Yes, you would have.”   
“How do you know?”   
“Because you love Catcher. You would never have enjoyed it this much if your first had been skidMark…”  
“Yech, gross.”  
“But now I still do not know anything. We’ve only got ... 12 minutes, so hurry. Who initiated the first kiss? What happened next? When did you decide exactly to go all the way?”   
“We were just talking, about how you and I always used to go there during summers and he didn’t believe I never made out with any of the guys your boyfriends brought along. That was how I told him the skidMark story. I told him that he was the first guy I have ever wanted to _make out_ with here. And I just did it. I started kissing him.”   
“YOU started it? This is so good. Go on…”   
“Well… not too long after that, Catcher actually _begged_ me to stop. He said that if we continued any further, he would not be able to control himself any longer, as much as he wanted to. So I told him ‘then don’t’”  
“You said WHAT? YOU actually told him to go on? Sweetie, I am so proud of you, what happened next?”   
“Believe it or not, but I actually had to _persuade_ him to give in. I never knew a man needed so much persuasion to make love to a woman. He was so scared that I would regret it afterwards.”   
“Well, let’s be honest here, you _have_ always told everyone you wanted to wait. It’s not really a surprise that he didn’t want to give in so fast. I think I would have kicked his ass if he would have just gone ahead without considering that you might regret things afterwards.”  
“I know that and I am glad it took him so long before he continued. But as soon as we both agreed that the time was right, he took over everything and made sure I enjoyed every single second. We never rushed anything, whenever he noticed I got nervous he calmed me down and just kissed me sweetly. Stace, I am telling you, he was so incredibly sweet and soft and caring. I don’t think it could have been more perfect than this afternoon.”  
“Alright, if you are going to tell me that you didn’t feel any pain or anything, I will run up to Catcher now and demand to hear the true story from HIM”  
“I never said I didn’t feel any pain. I just said that he was so sweet and gentle with me that it could not have been more perfect. About the pain… My goodness that is an experience I hope to never feel again. But Catcher warned me about that beforehand. He promised me that he would stop and wait if I was in pain.”   
“This is so unfair. My only warning before my first time was ‘here I come babe, can you spread your legs a bit further?’ and afterwards he did clean me up, but mainly only because he didn’t want any permanent stains on his backseat.”  
“But Joey wasn’t like that, was he?”  
“No, with Joe I actually felt a bit like a virgin again, but then without the pain and awkwardness of the unknown. 4 more minutes left, I will not let you leave this seat until I heard more”  
“The first 2 inches were alright, I was so nervous I could not stop trembling. Catch tried to calm me again and did not continue until the trembling got less. But THEN it happened. I figured I would feel a bit of an uneasy feeling, but I never expected this pain.”  
“3 minutes…”  
“I didn’t want Catch to see it though, I didn’t want him to see my tears, but he did and he soothed me again. After a while most of the pain finally ebbed away and I was able to enjoy….”  
“Jenna, Stacey, are you coming in? Dinner is ready”

“Can we have a few more minutes? We are really in something we have to finish first.”  
“Stace!” Jenna whispered “You really are terrible, did you know that?”  
“Please hurry it up then. Catcher told me he didn’t want to leave too late. He has a few important meetings this week and he wants to be rested properly”

“You do know what he truly meant, don’t you?” Stacey said with a wink.  
“Ohhhh yes. Anyway, where was I? Yes, after a little while most of the pain ebbed away and that was when I truly got to enjoy him. Catch noticed I relaxed a bit and he shifted himself a little and _that_ was pure heaven.”  
“You actually _came_ with your first time ever? Okay, now I am really jealous.”  
“You didn’t?”  
“Nope and the following few times neither. I think my first real orgasm was with Joe.”  
“Are you kidding me? I thought that that was normal to have one.”  
“Not really, no. Sweetie, you are a very lucky woman. I think a _lot_ of women will be very jealous if they find out your man goes _all the way_ for his woman. But then what happened?”  
“He held me for so long and told me he loved me. Then he carried me to into the water to clean up the blood and then he dressed me and put me in the car. My knees were still too wobbly to walk and so he carried me.”  
“Why? Did you lose _that_ much blood?”  
“Why is it that you women keep thinking that their knees are weak because of blood loss, when in reality it was because we men gave them that ultimate bliss _3 times_ this afternoon?”  
“C-Catch, what are you doing here? H-How long have you been listening?”   
“Hang on, Jen. Who cares he heard us talk…. What I am more interested in is **3 times**? You came _3 times_? It was your first time and you came _3 times_?”  
“Shhhhhh, sh-shut up” Both Stacey and Catcher thought they had never seen her _this_ red before.  
“Baby, relax” Catcher said as he held her tight in his arms “I knew what you and Stacey were talking about, remember? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It _would_ have been embarrassing if I had not fulfilled your expectations and you were complaining about me to her.”  
“Oh, don’t you worry about that. Still waiting for her complaints….Damn it…” Stacey said as she walked inside the house, figuring the two lovebirds would like a few seconds to themselves before they too faced the firing squad.

“Really? No complaints?” Catcher said with a smile, still holding Jenna in his arms. “You are not mad at me for just walking into your conversation, are you?”  
“N-no, just a bit embarrassed, that’s all.”  
“But why? You had just been talking to your best friend about this afternoon.”  
“But you should not have heard that… Even though we were talking about you.”   
“I don’t think I will ever fully understand women talk.” He answered playfully.   
“But…” he continued “What I hopefully do understand is how their body responds when I do this…”

Catcher lowered his head and softly kissed Jenna in her neck. Immediately her body responded and gave her goose bumps.

“See?” He winked again. “Wanna come in for dinner? I told your mother about some _very_ important meetings I have this week. The first one is tonight already, though I didn’t tell her that.”  
“Tonight?” Jenna asked with excitement visible in her eyes.  
“It’s a tough life for a ‘work-aholic’” He answered as they both walked in the house laughing.

~

“Catcher dear? Can you please make sure Jenna goes home to bed immediately? I am afraid she might have caught some kind of flu this weekend. She looks awfully tired and her cheeks have had this flushed colour all afternoon.”  
“I will make sure of it, Mrs. Taylor.”  
“Mum, since when do you discuss my health with other people but me?”  
“Ah, love. She is just concerned about you. Mrs. Taylor, I will make sure personally that she goes straight to bed as soon as she gets home. Though I do suggest a shower, love. It usually makes me feel a lot better after I take a shower.”  
“Stacey, are you alright? You look like you are choking.”  
Stacey was trying her very best not to burst out laughing at the top of her lungs. She had understood every single word Catcher had really meant when she knew that Maggie Taylor didn’t.  
“I-I’ll be fine” Stacey tried to say between laughs and deep breaths. “Joe? Would you mind going home soon too, I could also use an early night, maybe also a shower….”

Before they actually left, Maggie made Catcher close the roof of the car again. Jenna’s flushed cheeks were only getting worse and she was sure Jenna already had a fever. When Maggie actually felt Jenna’s face, she thought that the heat of her fore head had to do with fever instead of … something completely different.

The first few miles they could not stop laughing. Jenna took off the scarf her mother also put around her neck before they drove off and unbuttoned the coat she was also forced into. If only her mother knew the truth to her flushed cheeks.

“Good grace, can we please stop to take the top down again? It is so hot in here and with all these extra clothes on, it doesn’t make it easier.”   
“In a few more miles, love. I am too scared your mother followed us to make sure we drove home straight.”  
“Ah, love, she is just concerned about me, that’s all….” Jenna repeated the words Catcher had said only a little while ago.  
“I guess you are right. Maybe we should have stayed with your parents one more night though. At least then we would all have been certain you didn’t catch any flu.”  
“If you want, we can still turn around. We are not too far away from them to go back.”  
“Maybe it is time for that top to come down now…”  
“Ha ha, I knew it would work if I threatened you to go back to my parents’.”  
“I feel sorry for Mr. Mister….”  
“Huh??? What does my cat have to do with anything?”  
“He will probably not be able to sleep for weeks. Hopefully he will rest some during the day, though.”  
“What are you going to do to him?” Jenna was concerned now. What was he going to do to her cat?  
“Well, your screaming for more, night after night after night, will probably keep him awake.”  
“That’s what you think…”  
“Baby, when it comes to making love to you, I don’t need to think… I _know!!_ ”  
“You’d better not be making any promises you are not going to keep.”

And for the second time that weekend, Catcher stopped the car abruptly. They were in the middle of nowhere and the only lights they could see were the headlights of the car.

“You don’t believe me, do you? You don’t believe that I will make you scream time after time?” Catcher said as he turned off the engine. “You do not believe that I am going to teach you what ‘satisfaction’ really means? I am afraid that I now have a very difficult task ahead of me; I have to turn you into a believer.” Catcher lifted Jenna out of her seat and sat her on top of his lap. Just like 2 days earlier, the space was cramped, but they didn’t care.   
“Maybe I should convince you right now? Maybe I should show you just what I mean with ‘satisfaction’.”  
“What did you have in mind?” Jenna figured Catcher would kiss her senseless again.  
“ _Full satisfaction_ , love.”

Jenna looked at Catcher with puzzle, but Catcher never gave her a chance to ask any questions as he lowered Jenna’s head and attacked her lips with pure passion. Their tongues danced with heat and their arms held on to each other tight.

Jenna was dizzy with desire, she felt so frustrated to be so far from home still. How on earth was she going to survive this entire drive to New York knowing that Catcher was just as turned on as she was?

Catcher’s hands lowered from the nape of her neck to her back and her behind. Because Jenna sat on top of him with both her legs on either side of him, he had easy access to caress her butt all the way to the front and thus touching her in places Jenna had not expected.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Jenna asked surprised.  
“Make you a believer, love…”  
“Surely you do not mea…”  
“Yes, I do!”  
“But we are outs…”  
“That did not stop us this afternoon, remember”  
“But that was secluded, no one could see us.”  
“No one can see us now, love. We left civilisation a few miles back and I remember this road doesn’t have any houses next to it for miles and miles.”  
“But…”  
“It’s pitch dark outside, baby, if a car would come our way, we would be able to spot it when it’s still miles away.”  
“But… I don’t know, Catch…”  
“Stop worrying so much, love. If you really don’t want to, I will stop right now. But your body is telling me you want this as much as I do.”  
“I do” Had she actually said that herself?  
“Then what is stopping you?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s about time I let go of my preserved upbringing. I can actually hear a little voice that sounds scarily like my mother say that an _unmarried_ lady like me should not do this.”  
“That is something that I am afraid I cannot help you with, you have to make that decision all by yourself, but I am here for you, no matter what you decide. Though I do need a few minutes before I can drive again.”  
“Why? Are your legs sleeping because I have been sitting on them?” Made sense to Jenna….  
“Ehm… not really… It’s more a case of another body part being _very_ awake!”

And right there and then Jenna decided to let go of her fears. Why _would_ she have to wait until they were back in New York, when they had a perfect opportunity right now?

“Oh dear, well, we cannot drive until we got that under control, now can we?”  
“It’s all your fault, baby, you are just such a turn on that he can’t help himself.”  
“Oh, can’t he? Maybe I should help _him_ then…”

This time it was Catcher’s turn to look puzzled and Jenna’s turn to shut him up. Her kiss left little to the imagination of what she had in mind. Her hands were tight in his hair and her chest was flat against his. Catcher didn’t need another second to consider what Jenna was suggesting and put his arms around her once more.

It didn’t take long before Catcher’s hands returned to that one place he had them before Jenna stopped him. This time Jenna did not stop him at all. In fact she let out a little moan, showing him how much she wanted him to continue.

Jenna’s hands slowly let go of the tight grip they had on Catcher’s hair and moved to his shirt again. Button by button the shirt came undone and Jenna ran her hands over his chest. If only he would give her room to take the shirt off entirely. This afternoon Catcher had taken off his clothes, something she would have loved to do too, though on the other hand, she had been glad he had done it himself. She had been nervous enough already.

This time she wanted to do _that_ too. She wanted to take off his shirt slowly, feeling it slide down his arms and then throw it away. After that, she wanted to unbutton and unzip his pants, she wanted to slide them over his behind and see them fall to the floor and last but not least, she wanted to get her fingers behind the hem of his boxers and free the prisoner it kept hostage. Maybe in the future she would even dare to do so on her knees and kiss him the way he had kissed her that afternoon. She was now certain that that was not just part of a bad nightmare too.

“Catch? Please let me take off your shirt.”  
“Only if you don’t mind if I let go of your gorgeous body, baby.”  
“I won’t mind if you hurry.”

But that easy task was a lot harder than both of them had imagined. The small space of the car made it hard to manoeuvre and the horn of the car actually blew twice.

“Baby, while we are taking off clothes, please tell me I can undo you of that blouse again.”  
“No!”  
“No?” This was an answer Catcher had not expected. Had he read her actions wrong?  
“No, I want to do it for you.”

Getting the buttons undone wasn’t that hard. Though Catcher didn’t make it easy for her by kissing her neck all the while. The biggest problem was trying to get the darn thing off her. The roof of the car was definitely in the way this time.

“Damn roof, it’s a bloody convertible, yet here we are with the roof up.”  
“Hihi” Jenna actually giggled. “Maybe we should take it down now. I don’t think my mother is still following us.”  
“Watch your mouth, baby, you know I will do it.”  
“Then do it” Jenna whispered before she attacked his lips again. This time Catcher was too stunned to return Jenna’s kisses which made her laugh in return.  
“Good god, I have created a monster.”  
“Are you complaining, sir?”  
“Hell no.”

“Can you help, love? The sooner we get that roof out of our way, the sooner we can get back to where we left off.”

Jenna also got out of the car now. She couldn’t wait any longer, she wanted her man and that stupid roof would not keep them from continuing what they were doing. As Catcher finished up the last part, Jenna kept her eyes on him. She could not believe how lucky she really was. Here was the man she had been in love with for so many years and he wanted her as much as she did him. He was everything she had ever dreamed of when she was young and even more. She couldn’t believe what they were about to do, but at the same time, she couldn’t wait for it either.

“Catch? Look at me”  
“What is it, love?”

Jenna waited for Catcher to actually look up at her and then she finally took off her blouse, just like she said she would when they were still in the car. She let it drop to the floor and then slowly she took one of the straps of her bra and let it slide off her shoulder. The other strap followed after that. Her heart beat so loud she could hardly hear anything else, but she was too determined to stop. Her hand was shaking when she grabbed the clasp of the bra on her back and snapped it open. Immediately the entire bra tried to slide down her arms, but her arm still in front of her and stopped it from doing so.

She slowly walked towards Catcher and when she reached him, she let go of the piece of clothing, causing it to drop to the floor too. Catcher had never taken his eyes off hers, which had been a challenge considering what she was doing. What kept his eyes focussed was the way she looked at him.

“Touch me” Jenna asked him, without thinking of getting back in that car.   
“Where?” his voice was hoarse and full of desire.  
“Anywhere you want to.”

Catcher didn’t fully listen to her request at first. Well…. Partially though. He did put his arms around her again and returned his lips to hers. He could feel her hard nipples against his chest and her cool hands against his back. He pushed Jenna against his car and started kissing her neck, that gorgeous delicious neck that was so extremely sensitive.

Little cries escaped Jenna’s lips as she was kissed in her most sensitive spot. As embarrassed as she had been in the beginning about being this sensitive in such a silly spot, as turned on she was now. Though she made sure she didn’t reach that ultimate goal just yet, as much as she wanted to. She wanted to torture herself a bit more first, almost like a punishment for all these past years of not giving into her one desire: the man who was kissing her right now.

When she felt his lips move more south she was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because she knew where those lips were headed, disappointed because she was really close already.

“You are really close, aren’t you? You are only seconds away, aren’t you?”  
“Yes” she whispered  
“Well… you are going to have to wait a little longer. I am going to make you beg before I am through with you.”

Again Jenna screamed out as she threw her head back and curled her back. Her nipples were being attacked in the most wicked way she could have imagined. They were being sucked, licked and bitten, a combination that was almost lethal. Especially those bites made her scream with pleasure. She could never have imagined that being bitten could be so erotic. In the meanwhile, Catcher’s hands were all over her, but mostly softly ticking her belly. His warm hands and mouth in combination with soft breezes had her reaching that ultimate high again within no time.

But just like Catcher had promised, he stopped just before she came. Jenna’s frustration was clearly visible in her eyes and Catcher enjoyed it more than he would ever admit.

“Not yet, love.”  
“Please, Catch, stop torturing me so much.”  
“I promise you that I will make that all up to you later, you will fly higher than ever before”

“You really like torture, don’t you” Jenna whispered in his ear.  
“Depends on who is on the receiving end, love.”  
“Do you have any idea what that is like? Do you know how it feels when your body is so close, but just before, it’s taken away?” Jenna hoped that sounded as sexy as it had sounded in her head before she said it. She wasn’t as comfortable with sexy talk as Catcher was, but at least she was trying.  
“How come I have this feeling that you are about to show me.” Catcher had heard the nerves in her voice, he knew that must have been quite something for her to say, she wasn’t used to it yet. But if this was her first attempt at sex talk, he was definitely in for a lot of treats in the future. In a while she would not shy away from sexy words and talk too much anymore and he was certain she would make him come by just talking to him.

Jenna’s warm lips on his chin sent goose bumps all over his body. Jenna felt the first stubbles already appear underneath her lips and it turned her on even more to think what that could do to her in all the right places. Oh yes, as new as she was to this, she did have some wicked ideas already.

She snaked her tongue out along his jaw line and up to his ear. Just behind her ear was a ticklish spot for her, she couldn’t wait to find out if it was _just her_ or not. She had her answer almost instantly; it was definitely not just her if his gasp had anything to do with it, or the grip he tightened on her hips. His neck was apparently also pretty sensitive, not as sensitive as hers, but _that_ did not surprise her. The hollow of his throat was a spot both of them liked more than Jenna had thought at first, but what really got Catcher going were _his_ nipples in combination with her hands caressing his behind.

It was amazing to see how the response was, it was hard not to stop and watch how he enjoyed her attention. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open, though his lower lip was sucked inside his mouth from time to time. Before Catcher would look up to see why Jenna had stopped, she returned to her task at hand. She had to stop herself from giggling when Catcher reacted strongly to Jenna’s nails along his upper body. Boy, this turned her on just as much as being on the receiving end. She wasn’t hurting him with her nails, she just softly ran them along his chest and stomach.

Because his eyes were closed, Catcher didn’t notice how Jenna got on her knees in front of him. Though when he felt Jenna’s tongue way more south than they had last been, his eyes flew open and worry appeared in his eyes. As much as he enjoyed her ministrations and as much as he would enjoy what he thought was about to follow, it was simply too soon for that. She had never done _that_ before and he knew that she only found out _recently_ what it was.

“Baby, what are you doing?”  
“You’ll see. Just wait.”

But he felt her hands on the zip of his pants now. How was he ever going to explain to her that he thought it was too soon for a blowjob? Would she understand? Would she be mad?

Jenna had already undone the zipper and softly tugged on the back of his pants. Jenna gasped as she got what she wanted, she was undressing him the way she had done so many times in her dreams. Though, the location was very different from her usual dreams. She had only dreamt of making love to him outside on top of his car once and that was that one dream she’d had years ago. One of the first ones she’s ever had about him and she had never forgotten that one. It had become her ultimate fantasy and she couldn’t believe it was actually coming true.

She left his pants hanging at his ankles, which Jenna actually found pretty sexy. She now also had access to that one spot she had been dying to kiss. As she closed the distance to his body again, she felt Catcher hesitate, as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted to stop her from doing something or not. Would he really be this close already? No, he wasn’t, she was sure of it. Was she doing it all wrong then? But then, why had he made all the moans he had done only seconds earlier?

“B-baby?” Just before Jenna was able to continue, Catcher decided to stop her.  
Jenna looked up without saying anything. He could clearly see her confusion.  
“I cannot believe I am actually going to say this, but…. Ehm… can we wait just a little longer with what you are about to do? I love you so much and the thought of you actually doing this is enough for me to come before you even started, but…”  
“I-I don’t get it…. I thought this afternoon you liked to be kissed there.”  
“I do… so much, but don’t you think we could explore so many other things before you … ehm…. “  
“Last week, even today you told me you liked me doing it, if you don’t then I’d rather you told me than what you are doing right now.”  
“It’s true, I would love for you to do that, but…. Can’t we just wait a little longer, or at least until we are at least at home?”  
“I-I know I am new to all this, but why can you make love to me outside, but I cannot kiss your bellybutton under these same stars?”

Catcher blushed like Jenna had never seen him do before. Now she was really confused. First he stops her from kissing one of her favourite spots, a spot he had even told her that afternoon that he liked very much and now he is blushing?

“Oh dear…ehm…I-I am so sorry, love.” He stumbled as he tried to lift Jenna to her feet and hold her in his arms while he tried to apologise “I-I think I… ehm…. Misunderstood your intentions…. I-I thought you were going to do something else…”  
“Something else?” What on earth would _that_ be?  
“Yeah….”  
“But wha…..” And _that_ was when it dawned on her what he meant. “oooooh” But wasn’t _that_ a bit too soon? Just because _he_ was comfortable enough to kiss her like that, that should not mean that _she_ needed to be too? The thought of actually doing _that_ already scared her a bit.  
“I-I I am so sorry, love and now I have ruined the mood, haven’t I?”  
“N-n-no, the mood is not ruined, not for me, but….. Please don’t be mad, but I _would_ like to wait a bit …”

Catcher did not let Jenna finish, he needed to kiss her again. He should have known she was not going to give him a blowjob already. She was still way too innocent to think of that. And did she actually ask for his forgiveness not to go down on him yet?

“I-I am so sorry, love. I promise I will _never_ stop you again.”  
“What’s it like to be kissed … you know… there?” Jenna’s big eyes looked at Catcher questioningly, hoping for an answer before they continued their extremely sexy adventure.  
“You … really want to know?”  
“I-I guess I do. I-I mean, I … noticed… ehm…. I noticed that your … shorts had less and less space in that short time I sat on my knees.”  
“You noticed that, did you?”  
“It was kind of hard to miss…” Both Jenna and Catcher couldn’t help but laugh.  
“So… what’s it like? Would you like me to try it too one day?”  
“Well, hopefully you already know a bit yourself what it’s like, or at least I hope it felt the same way. How did it make you feel when I kissed you without your underwear in the way?”  
Jenna blushed when she remembered what had happened when he had kissed her down there. That orgasm had been one of the strongest she had ever felt so far.  
“I-I liked that very much.” Jenna blushed again  
“It’s similar to what I would feel.”  
“So, you _would_ like it if I did that too…hmmmm, I have to remember that.”  
“Baby, please don’t talk like that, when you say stuff like that, you drive me wild with lust.”  
“Really?”  
“This is what you and your wicked talk do to me, love.”  
Jenna had never felt a penis before and definitely never a hard one. She didn’t know what to do now, or how to react. Catcher felt her hesitation, but he wanted her to feel what she did to him.

As both their hands stayed right were Catcher had put them, Jenna started to kiss Catcher again. Very sexy and definitely not hiding what she was after.

She sat herself on top of the car, spread her legs further and pulled Catcher towards her again. She felt his desire against her own heat. Catcher’s hands disappeared under that same skirt as she wore to the lake that afternoon and caressed her legs all the way until they disappeared under her underwear and held on to her but as he pushed her even a little further towards him again.

“Catch, please, I don’t want to wait any longer. Please make love to me soon.”  
“In a bit, love, I still have not heard you beg” Catcher said with a naughty twinkle in his eyes.  
“Catch, please.”

But Catcher did not pay any attention to her pleas, he just lay her down on top of the car, he kissed her stomach and dipped his tongue inside her bellybutton and then lifted her skirt.  
Before Jenna could say anything, she felt her underwear rip and Catcher’s mouth where her underwear used to be. He lifted one leg over his shoulder and kissed her like he was kissing her mouth. Jenna cried out loud, she couldn’t care less if anyone would pass them right now, all she cared about was that Catcher continued with what he was doing right now. This afternoon he had been very gentle and safe, letting Jenna get used to the intense feeling of it, but now, he was more passionate and intense.

Within seconds, he felt Jenna tremble and a release was very near. Just before Jenna could get go and reach her climax, true to word, Catcher stopped again. He leaned over Jenna and waited for her reaction, which didn’t take long. Jenna’s eyes flew open when the warmth of Catcher’s mouth left her mound and reappeared over her mouth with a weird smell that at the same time turned her on even more.

“No, no, please, stop this torture, I can’t take this any longer.”  
“Is that so? Maybe I should do something about that then.”  
“Please” she said softer than a whisper.

Both of them never thought about taking off the rest of their clothing. Jenna was still wearing her skirt and Catcher still had his pants around his ankles, but they didn’t care. All they could think about was making love to each other.

As Catcher got up to get his boxers out of the way, Jenna sat up and stopped Catcher’s hands from what they were doing.

“C-can I do that?”  
“Yes please” Catcher said hoarsely.

Jenna got up off the car and sat down on her knees again. As her fingers slipped under the hem of his boxers, Jenna’s lips came closer and closer. She knew perfectly well what Catcher was thinking right now, even though she had only asked him minutes earlier to wait with it a little longer. As the boxers dropped to the floor, Jenna closed the remaining distance and kissed him where she had been dying to. Indeed, just like she had expected, Catcher was surprised though not at all disappointed when he felt his bellybutton attacked. He also knew he had deserved this little play against him.

Jenna didn’t linger too long, eagerly she quickly returned on top of the car again. She closed her legs around Catcher’s waist and pulled him to her. Before she knew it, she felt his tip against her folds requesting permission to enter.

Carefully Catcher entered her body. He was afraid she could still be a bit soar from their lovemaking that afternoon and he didn’t want to take any risks. If Jenna wanted to speed it up, he would leave that up to her. On top of that, he knew he would not last very long if he thrust into her quickly.

Jenna lay down on top of the car again and closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of being made love to. Catcher was ever so gentle with her, just like he had been that afternoon. Jenna felt lips close around her nipples and that familiar feeling deep in her stomach already started to rise. Not very unexpected if you thought about it, she had been so close to it for quite a few times the last hour.

Jenna closed her arms around Catcher and held on tight as the slow ministrations inside her made her go crazy. She almost felt tortured by his slow strokes.

“Are you alright love? I am not hurting you, am I? Am I going too fast?”  
“Too fast? No, not too fast.” How could she tell him she was curious to find out what it felt like if he went a little faster? He was clearly enjoying this pace, she didn’t want to ruin anything by asking for something like that.  
“I didn’t want to start off too fast yet. I wasn’t sure if you were still in a bit of pain or anything. If you are comfortable, I could try something…. More.” Catch raised his eyebrow as he emphasised that last word.  
“More? What ‘more’ did you have in mind?”

Without answering Catcher ‘switched to second gear’ and rolled his hips more. Jenna’s head flew backwards and let the sweet sensations she was feeling run through her body.

As Catcher got closer and closer to his climax, his thrusts were harder and faster, but Jenna seemed to enjoy each thrust at each pace more and more. Her own release was not far off now. If he kept this pace up in this same way, she would not last another minute.

“Baby, I am so close now. Please come with me”  
“Then you need to hurry, love. I am almost there.”

As soon as she finished her last sentence, everything went black again and she cried out with pleasure. Only seconds later, she heard Catcher do the same thing and felt his body collapse on top of hers.

It took them both a few minutes to return back to earth, though both were reluctant to give in to that. They lay there, on top of the car, for at least another 10 minutes before both of them moved a muscle. When Jenna had opened her eyes, she looked up at the sky and the sky was exactly like she remembered in her dream. The sky had been bright then too and the stars were also just as clear as in her dream had been.

After about ten minutes, Catcher did get up and cleaned both of them up. He got dressed again and also took care of Jenna. Catcher found Jenna’s panties on the floor, he picked them up and waited for Jenna to notice that he put them in the pocket of his coat. The look she gave him made him want to take off his clothes again immediately.

During their drive home, they never passed a car along that deserted road towards Jenna’s parents. The first cars they saw were when they reached New York again.

Catcher carried up their bags into Jenna’s apartment. He ushered Jenna into the shower with clear instructions to ‘wait for him’ and to be quiet while he made a telephone call. When Jenna showed her puzzled face around the corner of her bathroom, he put a finger to his lips and Jenna didn’t understand what-so-ever what he meant until he started speaking.

“Good evening Mrs. Taylor”

 _Mum? Why on earth would he be calling my mother … now???_

“Yes, I was afraid of that. That is why I am calling you from my apartment now…”

 _MY apartment???_

“Yes, Jenna got home safe and since she was so tired I unplugged her phone, so she could get a good night’s rest. I figured you would worry if you weren’t sure if she got home safe and that is why I am calling you now. Yes, I am going to bed too, thank you again for a lovely weekend…. As soon as I speak to her, I will ask her to give you a call, yes…. Goodnight Mrs. Taylor”

“So, _I_ am already asleep and you are at _your_ apartment calling _my_ mother to tell her the phone is _unplugged??_ ”  
“Any complaints? At least now, we do not have to worry about answering any telephone calls all night and do other things… like taking that shower for instance…”


	42. 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 38**

The following weeks were spent mostly undressed. If only work had not gotten in the way for both Catcher and Jenna, they could have been naked for 2 weeks in a row. No, they did not make love 24/7, that would be impossible.

Though…. Everything they did usually ended in making love though.

Catcher found out that even making breakfast became a real challenge with Jenna around. As if she wanted to make up for lost time, she seduced him whenever she could. Not that Catcher was complaining. Hell, he finally found a woman who loved making love as much as he did, plus he also had some catching up to do….

True to promise, Catcher showed Jenna that her bed was definitely not the only place for sex, nor did you have to lye down for it. He showed her that a man does not _need_ to be on top and that it can be extremely sexy when Jenna sits on top of him. He taught her that if Jenna has _any_ idea that she might want to do, that she should not keep that to herself, but tell him or just act upon it. Especially the first few days Jenna was scared to just do something that in her head sounded extremely sexy and seductive but because she didn’t know if it really was, she didn’t act upon it.

Jenna was still not comfortable enough to give Catcher a blowjob; something that really bothered her a lot. She loved it when Catcher went down on her and she really wanted to return that favour to him. Catcher kept reassuring her that it was okay, that that time would come and that she shouldn’t worry about it. What Catcher did not know was that she thought she was okay with ‘the deed’ itself, but she was just scared of the end result. She had seen how his seed left his body once and the thought of actually choking in it because ‘ _that stuff_ really gushed out!’  
And this was exactly why Catcher wanted Jenna to talk to him if she wanted to know or do something. If she only told him about it, he could have told her that she never ever needed to swallow anything she didn’t want.

~

Months went by and Catcher and Jenna had secretly lived together for all that time. Well, only secretly towards her parents. _They_ were still convinced that Catcher only spent evenings with her, going out to dinner or a play and afterwards brought her home and went home himself.

If only they knew that Catcher hardly spent any time at his own apartment anymore. It had been two weeks since he had last seen it and only because he had to pick up some more stuff. Every time he opened the door to his place, he thought about how he would love to officially move in it with Jenna, but he knew that that was impossible until they were officially married.

Marriage… He had been thinking a lot about that lately. The only thing that kept him from actually proposing to Jenna was that he knew she thought it was too soon. He remembered the stories from when she was still dating Carson and he did not want her to feel the same way this time. He wanted it all to be perfect and if perfection meant wait a little longer, then he would do just that.

He already had an engagement ring ready for her for when the time was finally right. His mother had visited her sons over the summer and one evening, 2 days before she went back home, she pulled her son aside and gave him a small black velvet box. She closed her hands around Catcher’s hand which held the box and whispered to him that once the time was right, Jenna would love to wear it. “I still remember when your father gave it to me as if it was yesterday” she had told him. When he opened the box he found the engagement ring that he remembered all too well from when he was young. His mother had kept wearing it even years into their marriage and often she had told her boys the story about how their father had proposed to her with this ring and how their fathers had done the very same thing to their future wives.

Catcher had asked her why she had not given it to her oldest son. She answered that she had made that choice already when they were still young. She had seen what a playboy her youngest was and she was convinced that one day a woman would come and she would tame the beast inside of him. _That_ woman would wear this ring around her finger as proudly as she had done for all those years.

He kept the box safely in his apartment, in a safe in his wardrobe. Every time he came back to his apartment he couldn’t help but open it and just look at it. He could clearly see her wearing this beautiful piece on her finger in his mind and she looked stunning with it. But then… she looked stunning no matter what she wore (or didn’t wear…).

 

Only 7 more months till April, he kept telling himself. He thought it would be romantic to ask the woman he loved to marry him on their 1-year anniversary. If she was ready then THAT would be the perfect date. 7 more months to wait…. He could do that, right? Right?

~

“Love? The telephone is ringing…” Catcher called out to Jenna. As Jenna’s parents didn’t know they were practically living together, Catcher could still not answer the phone himself, making sure they didn’t blow their cover.  
“Shoot, Catch, could you please answer it this time? I’ve got my hand stuck up this chicken and I can’t answer it in time. My parents won’t think anything of it hopefully because it’s the daytime.”  
“If you are sure…. Jenna Taylor’s apartment, this is Catcher Block” he said, as always a gentleman.  
“I figured you would be at my daughter’s apartment. I have been trying to call you all day.”  
“Good evening Mrs. Taylor. How nice of you to call.” Catcher said without trying to laugh, he heard Jenna call out ‘liar’ to him as he said the words.  
“No night out tonight?”  
“No Mrs. Taylor, Jenna is making me a nice home cooked meal tonight. We both had a long day at work today and felt like a nice night in.” Now that was another lie, in fact they had taken the day off today so they could spend some alone time together before they headed up to Jenna’s parents the next morning. I don’t think I need to tell you what they had been up to that day, do I?  
“Ah, that’s nice. Anyway, now that I finally found you, I wanted to ask you if you could make sure to arrive on time tomorrow morning? The baby furniture that took so extremely long to arrive because of all these strange reasons has finally arrived and Joe really needs all the help he can get to put everything together. Can you be there at 11? That would be wonderful, dear.” As always, Maggie’s questions were not really questions but more statements with a question mark at the end of her sentence.   
“11? I don’t know if we can make it _that_ early, but we will give it a try.”  
“But didn’t you just say you were not going out tonight? That means both of you could go to bed early tonight. Jenna usually goes to bed at around 10, so I take it you leave her home at around 9-ish, right? If you make sure you go to bed at the same time Jenna does, then you two should both be rested the next morning and leave on time.”  
“Like I said, we will give it a try. But I promise I will go to bed early, just like Jenna will.” Again Catcher had to keep from laughing after he heard another remark from Jenna from the kitchen. Catcher quickly tried to end the conversation and hung up not too long after that.

“Why on earth do we need to be at my parents at 11? What is the big emergency this time? Do I need to help with her shopping? I bet there is a baby-emergency that any of my sisters-in-law can manage but my mom can’t.”  
“Yep, this time it’s your little brother who seems to need help. The furniture for the baby room has arrived and I _need_ to help him put it together.”  
“Of course, my darling baby brother can’t surely take care of that all by himself.”  
“Indeed he can’t. So, we both need an early night tonight, so we can make sure to be there bright and early tomorrow morning.”  
“Did she tell you to leave early tonight, so I can get my beauty sleep?”  
“Of course she did, she even made _me_ do the same as well.”  
“Then you know she is going to call you to make sure you leave on time, don’t you?”  
“You really think she will?”  
“Yep. I am afraid you will need to be home at around 10 tonight. Or else she will know you are still here.”  
“Then we will just need to stay at my place tonight. We can leave right after your mother checks up on you.”

And indeed Maggie did. She called her daughter at 9.30 to make sure she was in bed already. Jenna told her she was on her way to bed because Catcher only left a few minutes ago. They rushed to Catcher’s apartment and again Maggie did not disappoint and called him 30 minutes after she called her daughter.

“I wish my parents weren’t so reserved.” Jenna said after Catcher hung up the phone to Maggie. “I love this apartment; I would love to spend a lot more time here.”  
“This is actually the very first time you are staying the night here. Did you know that?”  
“Yes I do. But I am afraid I forgot my jammies. Can I borrow some of yours?” Jenna said with a wicked grin.  
“Did you really?” Catcher said as he walked up to Jenna “I am afraid though that my own jammies are still at your place, so I don’t have any either. What are we going to do now?”  
“I guess all we can do then is keep each other warm by holding each other.”  
“Well, if that is what we have to do, then we have no other choice, do we?”  
“I guess not. But since I am sooooo tired already, I would like to go to bed already.”  
“Funny thing, I was about to say the very same thing.”

I guess I don’t need to tell you what happened next…

The next morning they left a little later than Maggie would have liked, but they couldn’t give that a care. Their joined shower session turned into love making, this time Catcher showed Jenna how much fun it could be to use the water stream coming from the showerhead as a massager in special areas.

By the time they were finally dressed, it was already close to 10 o’clock. They hurried through Saturday morning shopping traffic and arrived at the house just after noon. As Maggie made her way to the blushing couple, she had a stern look on her face. Catcher tried to apologise for being so late and used heavy traffic as an excuse. Maggie gave them another stern look but didn’t say anything else about the matter, except for Catcher to hurry up and leave for Joe and Stacey’s place because he was already waiting.

“Jenna, I’d like it if you stayed here this morning and helped me out with groceries for dinner for tomorrow night. The entire family is coming again and I need all the help I can get.”   
“But don’t Joey and Stacey need my help too? I thought they needed all the help they could get.”  
“I already sent your father, when I realised you were late again. Seriously Jenna, it’s about time you took some responsibility.”   
“Mum, don’t start. Catcher already explained to you that we got stuck in traffic. New York on a Saturday morning is just as hectic as any other weekday.”  
“Then you should have left earlier, dear.”  
“I will not leave at 8 just to be here at 11, mum. Not unless there is a real emergency, helping Joey is no emergency.”  
“I bet you will think differently once you have a baby room due. All of a sudden you will think it is the most important thing in the world and you will expect us all to help you too. How would you feel if we all thought the way you do?”  
“I would understand if no one would want to leave their home on a Saturday at a god-awful early hour just to put our furniture together. Mum, they have a whole day to take care of this and I am sure it will all be done in no time at all.”   
“Thank goodness I think a bit different. If I didn’t you would give birth to your child on your way to the hospital and not have a thing ready. You should really learn to prioritise, dear.”  
“I will not go into this discussion mum. We both think differently and I don’t think we will ever agree with each other’s beliefs.”

With these words, Jenna took her weekend bags and went upstairs, leaving her mother and a surprised Catcher behind. Catcher felt proud of his girl for standing up to herself like she had. Jenna however only felt anger at this moment. She had been looking forward to seeing her very pregnant friend again and all her mother could think about was the family dinner. When was she ever going to understand that Jenna had a life of her own as well? Stacey was too pregnant to visit Jenna in New York, so the only times they could see one and other was during Jenna’s visits back home. Jenna also desperately wanted to talk to her friend about something that she needed a female advice for.

“Relax, baby” Catcher whispered to Jenna when he was saying goodbye to her at the car “Don’t let her get to you too much. I am proud of you for standing up to her. I will try to get us invited to Joe and Stacey’s tonight, that way you can still spend some time with her without your mother getting in the way.”  
“I will try, lovey. I just hope my mother doesn’t feel like war today, because I will get ugly.”  
“Try to be overly friendly with her then. It will frustrate her to the extreme and you will get your satisfaction you desire.”  
“Wicked man. I guess that is why I love you so much.” Jenna still felt giddy telling Catcher she loved him. Probably because she had to hide it for so long and now even after 5 months she still had to get used to the fact that he loved her back and they were together the way she had desired for so long.  
“And I love you, love. I’d better get going now though. Your mother is giving me that look again and it makes me nervous. Oh, I left you a little present in my bag. You may open it after I leave.” And with these words he quickly kissed his girlfriend, got in his car and sped off.

“Alright, let’s go Jenna dear. We are already very late and I have a few errands to run.”  
“Just a few seconds longer, mum. I forgot something upstairs.”  
“Can’t it wait, I really want to leave.”  
“No mum, it can’t wait. I will be right back.”

Jenna raced upstairs and almost ripped open Catcher’s bag. Inside she found a pink box from the same shop she had bought her lingerie from for her wedding. _What is he up to now?_ Inside the box she found a beautiful satin set of lingerie in soft pink. The bra had a front clasp and the straps were crossed at the back. The underpiece was by far the tiniest she had ever seen, but it was gorgeous. The sides had little strings that were tied together. Wicked Catcher knew how to seduce a woman and how to benefit from it himself. With these tied strings, all he needed to do to get them off was pull the strings and the garment was off.

Jenna closed the door to her bedroom and quickly put the set on. As she looked in the mirror, she saw a very sexy and erotic woman in it. Yes, her boyfriend definitely knew beauty and this lingerie set was definitely beautiful. When Jenna heard footsteps on the stairs, she quickly grabbed her clothes and rushed them on again. Just in time too. As she adjusted her sweater her mother opened the door.

“Are you finally ready? You have been upstairs for 5 minutes now and I really want to leave now.”  
“Yes mum!” Great, the moment was gone with just one simple sentence from her mother. But as soon as she walked down the stairs she felt her underwear caress her body and it made her body tingle all over. How she was going to manage until she was able to have Catcher take it all off again, she did not know. She just hoped it was _very_ soon. Even after their love making sessions from the day before, the night that followed and this morning, she was still aroused and couldn’t wait until she got to make love to him again.

The rest of the day was spent grocery shopping with her mother. Of course the first preparations for tomorrow’s dinner followed after that. Even when her father returned back home from her brother, Jenna was made to keep helping her mother. Catcher was still at Joe’s place as Joe had asked him for a few more things to help him with. In reality Joe just wanted to have a beer with his friend. He and Stacey knew that Jenna could not be there because of Maggie, but that did not stop Joe from inviting Catcher for a beer anyway.

When Catcher finally returned to the house, Jenna was still in the kitchen helping her mother. Her mother had started dinner for that evening, but Jenna just _had_ to finish pealing potatoes for tomorrow, because they would _never_ make it in time tomorrow otherwise.

“Hey baby, how was your day?”  
“Oh, _fantastic_ ” talk about sarcasm. “I spent the entire day with my mother, grocery shopping and preparing dinner for tomorrow. How was your day? Did you enjoy yourself too?”  
“Of course I did. The baby room is now done, so from this moment they can welcome the baby to this world. Stacey asked if we wanted to come over tonight, so you can see it yourself. I said you’d love to.”  
“I wouldn’t mi…. aaaaaarghhhhh”

As Jenna made her way to the sink to rinse the pealed potatoes, she tripped over Catcher’s feet and fell to the floor. Potatoes flew everywhere and Maggie immediately started to shout at her daughter for not paying attention to what she was doing. Jenna however didn’t hear a word her mother said as her foot hurt her more than she would expect. Catcher was down with her immediately and noticed the weird twist in her ankle and knew it was broken.

“Baby, relax. I will get you to a doctor.” He said as he held her in his arms and tried to sooth her with sweet words. “Mrs. Taylor, could you please call a doctor? Her foot really needs treatment quickly. Thank you. Tell him we are already on our way. His office is behind the church, right?”

Without waiting for Maggie to answer, he carefully picked up his girlfriend and walked towards his car. He had no idea how he was going to get her to the doctor in this state, all he knew was that he had to get there as fast as he could. Jenna was in so much pain that she was trembling and he couldn’t bear to see her like this.

He put her in her seat and put a pillow under her foot, so it wouldn’t hurt any more than it already did. He slowly drove to the doctor’s office so the ride wouldn’t bump too much. When they got there, Doctor Walker was already waiting for them outside.

“Oh dear, Jenna what have you done this time? Come on, get in. Mr. Block, can you please put her down on that chair. If we put her on the bench, it will just hurt too much and I want to see it first before I start hurting her more.” Ah, great, more pain. Catcher carefully eased Jenna down in the chair with stirrups. Immediately wicked thoughts entered his mind, but quickly turned his attention back to the pain Jenna was experiencing.

“I will give you something for the pain first, dearie. Are you alright?” He asked as he gave her shot that should ease the pain a bit. “What happened anyway?”  
Catcher explained the situation, never letting go of Jenna’s hand. Within a few minutes Catcher felt Jenna’s hand relax more and more, which had to mean that the painkillers were starting to work. Doctor Walker confirmed Jenna broke her foot, but the break was not too bad. He would put a cast on it and she would need to wear that and NOT walk on it for 6 weeks.

“Make sure you get some crutches next Monday. Until then, have your man take good care of you and help you get from place to place. Also tell your mother not to demand any chores from you. I know Maggie well and I know she asks a lot from her children.”  
“So you are telling me I cannot help her peal _any_ potatoes for tomorrow? Please tell me” Jenna said with a twinkle in her eyes. The painkillers were now doing its proper job and she only felt a dull throbbing in her foot.  
Doctor Walker started to laugh and replied that indeed she was in no condition to handle any potatoes, unless they were for immediate consummation.

Doctor Walker left Jenna to answer the phone, but returned soon after again.  
“I am so sorry Jenna, but I have to leave you here for a little while. Mrs. Johnson just called and she needs some immediate attention. Would you mind waiting here until I return? I will probably be back in 1 or 2 hours. Please call your mother and explain the situation to her. If needed, I will call her myself as soon as I return.”  
“If you ensure me that these painkillers will last another few hours, I will not mind at all.”  
“Sweetheart, the shot I gave you will last for at least another 6 hours; you have nothing to worry about. Just make sure you do not hit it against anything until I put that cast on it.”  
“I promise I will not move a muscle. Please hurry back and say hello to Mrs. Johnson for me.”

“What are we going to do for the next 2 hours? I know Mrs. Johnson and she will not let the doctor leave until she is fully satisfied.”  
“Funny, she is a lot like you then.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I never leave you alone until you are fully satisfied either.”  
“Dirty bastard.”  
“I didn’t say anything that was not true, love.”  
“Neither did I, baby”  
“Watch it, lady. Or I will make my new nickname _very_ true.”  
“Now what is that supposed to mean. Surely you do not mean doing the naughty right here and now.”  
“I don’t think I have ever been turned on by the sight of stirrups before.”  
“Please tell me you are kidding me. You cannot be serious.”  
“Have you opened your present yet?”  
“You are serious? Catch, right here, right now is not possible.”  
“Why not, love?”  
“Because we are in a doctor’s office.”  
“A doctor’s office from a doctor who will be away for the next hour or two.”  
“I’ve got a broken foot!”  
“Which we can put in these very sexy stirrups so we cannot harm it.”  
“What if he comes back early?”  
“Then we just tell him that the painkillers were wearing off and sex works the same as painkillers, they take away your pain for a while and isn’t that what is most important?”  
“I cannot even move!” Catcher had seen the desire rise in Jenna’s eyes and he knew she was turned on, though still wary of the possibility to get caught. He had already leaned over her and started to kiss her neck.  
“Don’t worry about moving, baby. I will take care of that. Just lye down and relax. I will make sure you get through this difficult waiting time without any worry or difficulty.”  
“Catch, seriously … we … can’t ….” As Catcher was doing the sweetest things to her weakest spot, Jenna found it harder and harder to breathe normally. She loved to be kissed in her neck and right now, Catcher was giving her some of his best moves. Jenna kept checking the door, very afraid that doctor Walker might return any second. _That thought_ turned her on even more. They could get caught any second and the thrill to make sure they would, sent a hot shiver down her body.

As Catcher carefully placed Jenna’s broken foot in the stirrups (don’t worry, it’s the sort where your entire calf up until your knee fits on it. I would never have Catcher hurt Jenna…), Jenna’s skirt rose up to her waist and thus showing the present she had received from Catcher only hours earlier.

“So you have found my present… Did you like it?”  
“Doesn’t the fact that I am wearing it answer that question?”  
“You naughty lady, have you worn this all day?”  
“Yes, I went shopping in them, pealed potatoes in them, even broke my foot in them”  
“If I had known about it, I would not have stayed with your brother and returned home with your father.”  
“And then what? Have your wicked way with me right under my mother’s nose?”  
“Hell yes, have you seen yourself? You look so extremely sexy.”  
“I like the strings on the sides. Just the thought of the easy access it gives, turned me on immediately.”  
“So you have been turned on all day?”  
“What do you think?”  
“Well, I guess I will just have to take care of that, don’t I?”

He closed the distance between them and kissed Jenna with all the love he felt for her. Because her legs were both up in stirrups, her legs were open wide and since Catcher had to lean over her to kiss her, Jenna felt Catcher’s erection press against her favourite part of her body.

It didn’t take Catcher long until one of his hands made its way down south and touch Jenna over her panties. He felt the wet patch in the centre of them which proved her desire for him. Softly caressing her through the fabric of her undergarment, Catcher continued to kiss Jenna. Over the past few months they both discovered their mutual fondness of kissing _everywhere_ (though, Jenna had still not covered that one place yet…). Catcher’s favourite was right underneath her breasts, while Jenna still favoured Catcher’s bellybutton.

As Catcher reached Jenna’s right nipple, he started biting it. Soft at first, but when Jenna responded to his ministrations, he started biting harder and harder. This only caused louder moans from Jenna. The harder he bit her, the more response he got from Jenna. Combined with the soft caresses to Jenna’s folds, Jenna was close to going insane. The painkillers she had received from the doctor were so strong that she now felt as if she was in a whole different world and it made her enjoy what Catcher was doing to her even more.

“I didn’t know you were into biting, love?”  
“Me neither, I don’t think my nipples have ever been so sensitive, how come you have hidden this pleasure from me all this time?”  
“Because I never knew you would react to it this strong. If I had known, I would have done this to you months ago.”  
“Then why are you wasting time now talking to me?”  
“Anxious, are we?”  
“You bet. Now hush and get back to what you were doing, baby.”

But Catcher had something different in mind. As much as he loved to bite her to an orgasm, he knew there was a chance that doctor Walker would return after already one hour. He definitely didn’t want to stop before he climaxed deep inside her, so he had to keep a bit of a pace in his actions.

Jenna’s protests for not returning to her nipples soon ended when she felt where Catcher’s tongue was heading for. A trail of kisses and licks towards her bellybutton were burning her body and again Jenna was ready to explode from desire.

Lower and lower the trail went. Until he reached his ultimate destination. By now, Jenna’s undergarment was soaking wet. Catcher still kept her underwear in place and softly rubbed his nose up and down the fabric, which caused a sweet sensation for Jenna.

“Now didn’t you say that the easy access because of these strings here, turned you on? How about I pull them loose? Would you like that?”  
“Yes” Jenna whispered, not being able to speak any louder.  
“And when I pull them loose, what would you like me to do then?”  
“Catch, please…” Jenna pleaded, still in whisper.

Catcher pulled the strings and as the bow untangled, the satin fabric easily fell away, exposing Jenna to her fullest. Catcher didn’t waste any time and caressed her folds with his fingers. Gently caressing first one side and then the other. Her little button was screaming for attention, but he denied her from that pleasure for a few seconds longer. Fingers were replaced by a tongue and Jenna lost it. Her climax caught her by surprise and it took quite some time before the waves of bliss subsided. Catcher did not get up immediately. He stayed right where he was and continued to taste Jenna’s sweet juices. Jenna had never been this wet before and Catcher definitely wanted to enjoy that for as long as possible.

“Baby, stop torturing me, please I want you so bad. Doctor Walker could return any second and I want to feel you deep inside me before he returns.”  
“Your wish is my command, my love.”

Catcher unzipped his pants and freed the erection that was begging for freedom. With Jenna’s legs up in the stirrups, Catcher had easy access to the entrance of her body. He eased into her body and found that the stirrups also caused for him to penetrate her deeper than ever before. Jenna could not believe how deep she felt Catcher inside of her. She felt sensations that she never felt before and made a mental note to order her own chair with stirrups for their private use. Jenna could hardly move and Catcher held her in place so she couldn’t even move, all she could do was enjoy what he was doing to her. Soon she felt the first stirs of a second orgasm rise deep inside her body. With Catcher continuing his gentle deep strokes, Jenna did not take long to let the second wave of pleasure wash over her.

Catcher didn’t want to quicken his pace too much; afraid that he might hurt Jenna’s foot more. He kept his slow pace going and the warmth of Jenna’s body covering his entire length caused his own climax to come sooner than he had liked.

“Baby, I’m coming already.”  
“Go as deep as you possibly can, love. This feeling is amazing.”

And so he did. He shot his warm load deeper in Jenna’s body than ever before. When he did so, both Catcher and Jenna felt a weird sensation shiver through their body, but soon forgot about it and enjoyed the last waves of pleasure tingle them.

After a few minutes Catcher let go of Jenna and carefully yet regretfully left the depths of her body. He went in search of a wet cloth he could use to clean up Jenna. After that he softly kissed Jenna’s button one last time and then tied the strings of Jenna’s beautiful undergarment.

They both decided to leave Jenna’s legs up in stirrups as it was a lot easier for Jenna. Catcher did however cover her legs up with a blanket he found in one of the cupboards.

“That was amazing, lovey. I still can’t believe we did that and here of all places. Please remind me to order one of these chairs first thing Monday morning.”  
“That was intense, wasn’t it? I think if you won’t order that chair, I will.” Catcher laughed. He was happy Jenna had enjoyed the experience as much as he had. If she would have been in any pain, he would not have forgiven himself.

Before they could say anything else, they heard the door open and watch doctor Walker walk through it. They had made it just in time! Both just hoped they looked normal, that everything was back in place again.

“I am so sorry it took me so long, Mrs. Johnson needed more attention than I first thought. If I had not told her that I had a patient with a broken foot in my office, she would not have let me go, though she was reluctant to actually do so.”  
“We didn’t mind. Time actually flew by.”  
“Ah good, good, good. Now, let’s look at that foot again. What a good idea to put it safe on the stirrups. Thank you for taking such good care of Jenna, Mr. Block. I am sure she would have gotten cold had you not put a blanket over her.”  
“I think it is my job as a man to take care of the woman I love. I am sure she has not felt cold for a single second during the time you were with another patient.”  
“Good, good”

It took another hour before Jenna and Catcher were finally able to leave doctor Walker’s office. The cast that graced Jenna’s foot and leg was not even fully dry yet, but they didn’t want to impose on the doctor’s time any longer. Jenna still felt that weird shiver she had felt when Catcher orgasmed deep inside her body. She figured it probably had to do with the painkillers she had received.


	43. 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 39**

“Hang on, love. Don’t move, I will get you out of the car. Just relax and let me help you.”  
“I can get my legs out of the car, Catch. I broke my foot, I’m not paralysed.”  
“Just enjoy the fact that I will help you with everything you need, love. But I do want you to let me handle to get you out of the car. The cast is not fully dry yet, you have to be careful.”   
“I can’t wait to see the look on my father’s face when he sees you carry me around everywhere.”  
“I finally found the perfect excuse to touch you whenever I want to and you complain?”  
“I never said that. You will never hear me complain about that, baby. I just said that I can’t wait to see the look on my father’s face. I bet it’s priceless.”

Before Catcher even got a chance to reply, the front door opened and out ran Stacey.  
“Are you alright? Is everything okay? Nothing is broken, right? Does it hurt? What happened anyway? Are you tired? Do you want to lie down? Can I help you with anything?”  
“STACE!!!” both Catcher and Jenna jelled.  
“Breathe! Relax, I am fine. I broke my foot. I will tell you all about it once I get inside and you stop asking questions. What are you doing running outside anyway? You are in no condition to run around like you keep doing. Let US take care of you for once.”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get your foot inside the house and tell me all. Starting off with the fact why it took so long for you to return from doctor Walker. You left a few hours ago!”

~

“’Night dad, thanks for helping me in bed.”  
“Goodnight dear. Catcher, can I have a word?” John senior asked, while he walked out the door of Jenna’s bedroom. Both Jenna and Stacey couldn’t help but raise their brows.  
“What is that all about?” Stacey whispered.  
“A buck says that he is telling your ‘divorced’ lover that he is to kick us two out of the house soon and then not even think about getting back into this room once we are gone. No matter how hard Jenna screams for help.”  
“You really think so?”  
“Why do you think he insisted on carrying Jenna upstairs himself? He is not happy at all. If he could, he would come to New York with her to make sure Catcher does not touch her too much.”  
“Oh no, please don’t say that _too_ loud. If he hears you, you know he will do it! Finally we found an excuse to spend one or two nights together and you are about to ruin it.”  
“Sure, Jen.” Stacey burst out laughing.

“Hey, what was that about?”  
“Your father asked me to make sure you would get enough night’s rest. So I would like to ask our company not to stay too long.”  
“And after we leave???” Joe asked, trying his best to keep from laughing.  
“Why do I have a feeling you already know the answer to that one?”  
“So the girls can pay up their bet fair and square.”

“Can I talk to Jenna alone for a few minutes? You know, girl talk?”  
“Let’s go, Catcher. When these two throw ‘girl talk’ at you, you do not want to stay, believe me.”

“So, and now the honest truth. What really happened during those few hours at the doctor’s office? No one blushes because they read magazines.”  
“Stace, shhhh. My parents only sleep 2 doors away and you know my father hears _very_ well.”  
“Then whisper to me what really happened. I am not leaving until I know the truth. And you will tell me that truth right now.”  
“All right” Jenna whispered “we didn’t just read magazines. We … ehm … did something else too…”  
“No way!”  
“Yes…. We did.”  
“Who would have ever thought? Our life long virgin turning into a nymfo? So, tell me… what was that like? More importantly; how? I mean, with your broken foot and all?”  
“We … ehm… we put them in the stirrups.”  
“Oh my goodness! Then what? Duhhh, I know, but… just tell me.”  
“Slow and gentle at first. Lots of kisses in all the right places.”  
“I miss kisses in all the right places. Joe is almost too scared to do anything right now. He is afraid we might hurt the baby.”  
“Then tell him to give kisses where he hurt you to take the pain away, hihi”  
“Is that what you told Catcher too?”  
“It actually took a lot of convincing from his side to get me to do it. I was so afraid someone was going to run back inside the office. But after a little while _that_ turned into the thrill and that really got us going.”  
“So then what happened?”  
“First of all, you should also order one of those chairs. I am not sure I ever want to do it again without being in one.”  
“Really? That good?”  
“Even better. He never went that deep before and I can tell you that _that_ was amazing. That chair gave better access than I ever could have imagined. It was so good that afterwards I felt this amazing shiver along my body.”  
“That is called an orgasm, Jen.”  
“Duhh, I am not that stupid. I felt that shiver on top of my orgasm, as if I had 2 in 1.”  
“Alright, I am calling Joe right now and make him order us one first thing Monday morning.”

“I miss this” Jenna said after a few seconds of silence.  
“Miss what?” Stacey asked.  
“This! Our talks! Without the men present. The last time we really talked alone was with Christmas. After that, either Joey, Catcher or anyone from the family was always there.”  
“But that is what our lives are like now, _with_ men!”  
“Not 24/7! You do not spend every single second of every single day with Joey, do you? You do have time for yourself, right?”  
“Is there something we should know? Is there something _Catcher_ should know?”  
“Huh? No, of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, I love him, I could never live without him. But I _do_ love you too and I miss you and I want to spend some more time with you … just you! Like we used to do, before those testosterone-filled human creatures came into our lives”  
“But I _do_ love my testosterone-filled human creature”  
“Of course you do and I love mine. But can’t we make them have some sort of male bonding night every once in a while? Send them out the door so I can selfishly spend some time with my best friend whom I hardly ever get to talk to anymore, unless our family is there?”  
“But the family is _always_ there”  
“That was why I was so much looking forward to tonight. Just spending some time at your house without my mother or father around, or any of my other brothers, or their wives, or their children, or who ever they felt like inviting to the house just because we came over for the weekend.”  
“I thought that was bothering you. That was why I set tonight up. I could see it in your eyes and every move you made that you needed to talk to someone other than Catcher. I know there is something you really want to talk to me about, but for some reason you are afraid to.”  
“I am not afraid to, but it’s quite a delicate subject. It’s not something you just talk about while making coffee or something.”  
“But if it is something that you clearly feel the need to talk about, then why not Catcher? Don’t you two talk?”  
“Of course we do. Heck, sometimes I need to look at his face just to make sure I am really talking to him and not you. Just like you, he knows exactly what is on my mind or if something is bothering me.”  
“Then why have you not talked to him about this?”  
“Because I need to talk to you about it first.”  
“Then talk. I am here now; ready to listen to whatever it is that is bothering you.”  
“Nothing is really bothering me. It’s hard to explain really.”  
“Sweetheart, I am right here. Start explaining, stop stalling.”  
“That is just it. I can’t talk about this in this house. Not with my parents around. Please don’t ask me why, I will explain everything once I do really get the chance to talk to you about this.”  
“Should I get worried?”  
“Of course not. Please just believe me when I say that nothing is wrong. I just need to talk to someone, get their opinion on something.”

“That is also something I miss; the fact that we only need to look at one and other to know that something is bothering them, or that they just need to talk to someone, even if it is something simple.”  
“Here is an idea. As soon as that baby is on the other side of your belly, we will have these girl talk-afternoons every two weeks. Whether it is here or in New York. No matter what my parents say.”  
“I like that idea. Just one question; how are we going to get the men out of the house?”  
“Like I mentioned earlier; why don’t we send them out on some sort of male bonding night-thing? Or afternoon or whatever time we set for them to have them out of the house. Make them go fishing or something when we are here and when you are in the city, we make them go out to clubs or a sports event or whatever else we can come up with to get them out of the house.”  
“And what about little junior over here?”  
“What? This child is not going to be awake 24/7, right? Plus, it’s not as if it can tell on us to anyone what we talked about. At least not for the first few years.”  
“Do you really think that will work?”  
“Of course it will. It has to work. I miss you too much for it to know it will work.”

“Jenna, dear…” Maggie interrupted the girls “what is Stacey still doing here and where are Catcher and Joseph?”  
“They are probably downstairs. We asked them if we could talk in private for a few minutes.”  
“But Stacey needs her rest, dear. You should know that.”  
“I am fine Mrs…. Mom. I will just sleep longer in the morning.”  
“You really need to think of your baby, Stacey. You need your rest so your baby can grow.”  
“But I slept 2 hours this afternoon, slept in late this morning and I know I will sleep in late in the morning. I have not spoken to Jenna alone for so long and I don’t think it will harm the baby if I stay up a few minutes longer. She will be going back home again tomorrow and then I will not see her for another 2 weeks.”  
“Just like we won’t Stacey dear, but we are not carrying a little life in our bodies. You really need your rest and so does Jenna. You two can talk tomorrow before she leaves.”

And that was that, end of discussion. Stacey got up and said goodbye to Jenna, promising her that they would at least see each other before Jenna left. Jenna stayed behind frustrated. Finally after all these months she had a decent conversation with her best friend and her mother cut them off before they were even able to finish their conversation properly. Once the baby was born and Stacey well enough to travel again, she would make her and Joey come over to New York and stay with her for at least an entire weekend. She would not let Stacey out of the house until Jenna had spoken to her friend properly.

A few minutes later Jenna heard the front door close and 2 people come back up the stairs. When Catcher tried to walk into Jenna’s room to say goodnight they both heard a very distinctive cough.

“I am sorry Mrs. Taylor. I was just going to say goodnight to Jenna. Ask her if she needed anything before she went to sleep.”  
“You can say goodnight at the door, Catcher.”  
“Mum, stop it, we are both adults. I know about your rules and you are right we are not married yet, but at least give us a chance to say goodnight to each other properly. I promise you we will not do anything you do not approve of. If it makes you feel any better, why don’t you stay in the doorway to make sure we won’t do anything you do not want us to?”  
“What?” mouthed Catcher to Jenna.  
“Alright, Catcher you may say goodnight to my daughter, but I am not leaving this doorway.”  
“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor” he said as he walked over to Jenna’s bed. “Are you alright? Do you need anything? You’re not in pain, are you?”  
“I am fine. I had a nice talk with Stacey.”  
“That’s lovely, love. I will let you sleep now _before your mother kills me_ ” he whispered the last part. “If there is anything you need during the night, I will keep my door open so you only need to call me. ‘Night love.”  
“’Night Catch”

“Don’t worry about Jenna tonight, Catcher. I will take care of her, so you can get your night’s rest. You have a long journey tomorrow, so you need all the sleep you can get.”  
“That’s okay, Mrs Taylor. I don’t mind at all. I think it’s my duty to take care of the woman I love. It’s like breathing.”  
“That is very sweet to say, Catcher. But I will still take care of her tonight and let you sleep. Because that is _my_ job too, I am her mother.”

~

“Are you all packed? Jenna, are you sure you will not stay here and let us take care of you?”  
“Mum, I broke my foot, I’m not invalid.”  
“But the doctor told you you could not work for at least 1 week.”  
“I know that but tomorrow I will get my crutches. I will manage during the days and during the evening I have Catcher to help me.”  
“Catcher, I told you that I agreed to let her stay with you tonight, but **in the guestroom** and only for **tonight**. From tomorrow, she will go back to her own apartment and you may visit her during the evenings, but no sleeping over.”  
“Dad, I thought we had talked about this. I thought we agreed that it was easier if I stayed in Catcher’s guestroom for a week or two, so he doesn’t have to travel up and down all the time. Especially the first week I will have more difficulty walking around and Catcher can help me with that.”  
“Then why do you need to stay at home in New York? You just said that with your crutches you can move around.”

Oops…

“I know I said that and I know I can take care of myself, but for some things it will just be easier if I am near him during the evenings and nights. During the days I will make sure I am in a comfy chair near the bathroom, so I don’t have to walk too far. During the evenings, Catcher can help me _get_ to the bathroom easier. No, dad, he will not come inside for that, I can do that on my own.”  
“I still do not like it. Maybe I should come with you, so I can take care of you myself.”  
“Mum, please. You don’t have to. Nina is 9 months pregnant now and she can give birth any day now. You do not want to miss out on that.”  
“She is not due for another week and that gives me a perfect opportunity to take care of you, dear. Plus, you have a telephone at your house, don’t you Catcher?”  
“Yes?”  
“Then they can reach me there once she goes into labour.”  
“Mum!!”  
“No, dear. My mind is made up. I will get my suitcase ready and have your father take me to Catcher’s apartment.”  
“Mum!!”  
“No buts, Jenna. No discussion. I am doing this. If you do not like it, then your only other option is to stay here.”  
“H-how long will you be staying Mrs. Taylor?” Could he really survive a whole week without having Jenna at his side?  
“At least a week, unless I notice my daughter needs help longer. Of course I will travel back as soon as Nina goes into labour, but if needed I will return the next day.”  
“Jenna, dear, I am really not doing this to check up on you…”

 _Yeah, right mum! And the stork really does deliver babies!!!_

 _“… but you are my daughter and you need help. I am your mother and that is what mothers do; they help their children when they need help.”_

 _And so it was decided that Maggie would join Catcher and Jenna at Catcher’s apartment for a week. They agreed that Maggie would arrive around 8 pm, so Jenna ‘would have time to get some of her things out of her apartment’. Which really meant that they had to get as much of Catcher’s things from that same apartment as well. What if Maggie decided after a week that they could return to Jenna’s apartment again? They would surely have a lot of explaining to do when Maggie sees just about the entire contents of Catcher’s closets in the wrong apartment._

 _By the time Maggie finally arrived, Catcher had only just finished putting everything back in place. He had made time to make them dinner, but he had eaten his in between putting stuff away and making up the guest rooms._

 _Jenna was still angry with her mother for interfering in her life like that, though Catcher was trying to calm her down by telling her that it might not even be such a bad idea. At least someone would be there during the weekdays to make sure Jenna got what she needed and when she needed it.  
“But there is a reason why I do not live at home anymore, Catch. I love my mother, but I cannot be around her 24/7. I need some privacy, some time to myself.”  
“Can’t you tell her you are going to get some rest in the guest room? She won’t bother you in there if you tell her you are going to take a nap, will she?”  
“No, she won’t. But she will check up on me every 30 minutes or so, to make sure I really am asleep. That means I cannot even read a book in peace because I told her I was going to take a nap. This will be the longest week of my life.”  
“Just think of what a great time we will have celebrating her departure in a week…”  
“Right now, all I can think of is 1 week is 168 hours long, that’s 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds…”  
“But in 604,801 seconds I will be ripping your clothes off of your body…”  
“604,801…604,800…604,799…”_

 _~_

 _“Where are our rooms Catcher? You told me you had 2 guest rooms. The one closest to the bathroom should be for Jenna, that way if she needs to go in the middle of the night, the distance is shortest. Where is your own bedroom? If that one is closer, it might be a better idea if she sleeps there then.”  
“I actually have a door that goes straight into the bathroom…”  
“That’s settled then, Jenna you can take Catcher’s room, I will take the other room closest to the bathroom and you can stay in the second guest room, Catcher.”  
“Mum, this is _his_ house, you can’t start making demands as if _you_ own the place.”  
“It’s alright love. I don’t mind because I know she is here to take care of you…”  
“604,798…604,797…”  
“What are you counting, dear?” Maggie asked with a puzzled face.  
“Oh, nothing mum, just a New York joke.”  
“A New York joke? Ah, never mind, if you tried to explain it to me, it would take at least a weak until I understand…”_

For the first two days, Jenna was actually really happy to have her mother around. Catcher wasn’t able to pick up crutches until after work and that meant that Jenna was forced to another day on the couch or in bed and thus really needing her mother for everything. The second day she had her crutches, but still had difficulty walking with them.

But after that, Jenna got her independence back a bit, but her mother would not have any of it. She forced her daughter to sit down for most of the day, take naps at what she called ‘nap times’ and eat her meals at set times. She was not allowed any snacks, as if that would help speed up the healing process!

What drove her insane most though was the controlling her mother kept doing when Catcher returned home. She made him eat at the dinner table with Maggie, yet forced her daughter to stay on the couch with her foot on a pillow. All Catcher really wanted was to be close to his girlfriend and have their dinner-chats next to her on the couch. After dinner Maggie made Catcher help her with the dishes. Jenna was then made to go to bed at 9.30 because ‘that foot will not heal itself, dear. The more you rest, the better it will heal’.

By Friday all Jenna did was read her books and obey her mother. She found that easiest as opposed to telling her mother to stop what she was doing to her. What Maggie did not know was that every night Catcher would sneak into 'Jenna's' bedroom through the bathroom after Maggie went to sleep. Catcher pretended to be a good boy the first night at his apartment, which he found harder to do than he had first thought. His girl was only a few feet away and there was nothing he could do about it. Or could he? The bathroom had two doors, one led to the hallway and the other one led to the bathroom. He would just sneak through the bathroom into the master bedroom and voila, there he was.

The second night Catcher had had enough of being a good boy, he wanted Jenna and no one was going to stop him from devouring her. Jenna was almost asleep when he quietly opened the door to the bedroom.

"Mum?" Jenna asked sleepily "Is something wrong? I really don't need any milk, I am fine. Don't worry too much and go back to sleep. Goodnight." Jenna tried with her sweetest voice. In reality she was already going insane. Her mother interrupted her everywhere she went, if she would also check up on her during her nights, she would go nuts within a few days.

"Baby, I didn't bring milk, but I hope you like the protein shake I brought you."  
"Catch??? What are you doing here?" Jenna whispered out loud. "What if my mum sees you?"  
"Then I will just tell her I forgot something, we'll think of something."  
"But...."  
"Shhh... baby, I cannot sleep knowing you are only 2 doors away in _my own apartment_ and not being able to touch you. I have been brave long enough, get ready for some old-fashioned Catcher-lovin'."  
"You want to get caught, don't you?"  
"I don't want to get caught, I want to get naked!"  
"But how?"  
"I will show you how!!!"

"I know how to get naked, Catch. I meant, how are we going to do this without my mother knowing?"  
"By keeping your mouth occupied, starting right now."

Catcher closed his mouth over Jenna's and kissed her like a man who had not had sex in years. No, not desperate, but very passionate. In the meantime, without Jenna realising, he was unbuttoning her pj's; an old trick from his bachelor days. When Jenna realised what was happening her bra was also undone and he was working on getting her pj's off. Catcher did not waste any time and moved on to her bottoms as soon as her top was bare. He knew Maggie could walk in any second and he was determined to take his girl to ultimate bliss.

Luckily her bottoms were the easiest part as Jenna only wore underwear while she wore her cast. No pj bottoms fit around her cast and so they left them off. When her underwear was on top of the pile of clothes Jenna had only worn seconds earlier, Catcher's fun really began. He had been craving to taste Jenna's most intimate part and looking at Jenna and remembering how wet her panties were, he knew it would not take too long before Jenna would fly over the edge.

But Catcher would not let that happen though. Every time Jenna was about to climax, he stopped and kissed her legs or her stomach, her feet, her breasts or even her mouth. Jenna's frustration grew, why was he doing this to her? She knew he knew when she was close. She also knew he knew she needed it so badly.

"Catch, please" Jenna whispered almost soundless.  
"Please what? baby?"  
"I am so close..."  
"I know..."  
"Stop torturing me and let me come."  
"In a second, love. I am not done yet."  
"If I was able to move a bit easier, you would be in so much trouble right now."  
"Promises, promises..."  
"Hey, that's my line!"

It took Catcher another 10 minutes before he allowed Jenna to come and come she did. Not only did everything go black, her entire body was shaking like a leaf. It took her a few minutes before she returned back to earth and return the favour. She had already decided she was going to do exactly the same thing he had done to her. They had been together for 5 months now and she thought it was about time for that final step she had been so insecure about.

When Catcher lay down next to her and kissed her, Jenna managed to role them both over and she lay on top of him.

"Baby, I think it will be easier on your leg if I took top bunk tonight."  
"Who says I am going for top bunk? Just lay back and let me enjoy myself for a little while."  
"And what have I just done? Fill in my tax form?"  
"Shush..."

Jenna gave him a passionate kiss and then devoured his chest with kisses. Her cast did not make it easy on her, but she managed to go down and down. When she almost reached her goal, she made sure her leg was safe and then got comfortable. Catcher knew Jenna was not ready for what looked like Jenna was about to do, so he wondered what evil plan she had in mind. He was certain she was just planning a payback for what he had done to her.

"Baby, could you help me and lift your tush so I can take off this burden?"  
"Why don't I take it off for you?"

Catcher quickly took off his shorts and lay himself back down again. Before his head reached the pillow however, Jenna's hands were around his shaft and tickling his balls.

"Close your eyes, baby. Just enjoy what my hands are doing to you." Jenna was nervous as hell. What if he didn't like what she was about to do? What if she did it all wrong? She had asked Stacey how to do it, but what if she still did it wrong? There was only one way to find out!

As Jenna's right hand was slowly going up and down his shaft, Jenna lowered her face and stuck out the tip of her tongue. Stacey had told her that when her hand she was stroking him with was down she would have the best access to the head. She had to pay attention to Catcher's face when her tongue touched the tip. 'Why?' Jenna had asked. All Stacey had answered was 'you'll see'. As her face came closer and closer to her goal, all she wanted to do was close her eyes, she just felt awkward kissing the organ he used to pee with. But she was determined to find out how Catcher would react once he found out what she was doing.

That reaction came within the first microsecond after her tongue tasted his flesh for the first time. Catcher's eyes flew wide open and he gasped loudly.

 _I like this._ She thought. _The taste is weird, but I am sure I will get used to this eventually._

"A-are you sure?"  
"Do you think I would be doing this if I wasn't?"

Without waiting for an answer, her face went down again and carefully licked the tip of his penis again. A drop of fluid dripped from the tip, but Stacey had warned Jenna about that too. 'If that happens, it means you are doing a good job'. Jenna kept exploring the flesh she had not kissed before and as told, she kept her eyes focussed on her man and boy was that worth every second. Catcher tried to keep his eyes open too, to see if this was really happening and also to see the woman he loved enjoy herself so much. She had a twinkle in her eyes and the longer she kissed and licked, the more he could see she loved what she was doing.

Jenna then decided to take the next step and closed her lips around the tip of his penis. Wow, that was big, would there be any room to suck at all? Her mouth was filled already and she had not even sucked in the entire head yet. She opened her mouth further and took him in bit by bit. Catcher had the hardest time keeping quiet and he was already close to orgasm. _If she keeps this up, I will lose it before she even gets to the good part._ Catcher tried with all his might to keep from ejaculating just now. He had to keep up a little longer or else he would come in her mouth and she would probably never ever want to go down on him ever again. Jenna noticed a worried line across his face however.

"W-what's wrong? Am I doing this wrong? You don't like it? How do I make it better?"  
"Huh???"  
"You've got this weird look on your face and I don't mean good-weird."  
"Baby, you are doing so good that I am trying not to blow my load so soon." And as Catcher said this he actually blushed crimson. Jenna thought it was the sweetest thing she had ever seen. So it was not just her then...

Immediately she lowered her head again and this time tried to copy with her mouth what she had been doing with her hands earlier. Stacey had told her that it is supposed to feel as if he was penetrating her folds. As her head slowly bobbed up and down, she tried to look up and see if she was doing okay. This time Catcher's eyes were closed and little gasps escaped his lips. So she really was doing okay...

After a few minutes she found the first problem; her jaws were starting to ache from sucking so hard. But Catcher had not come yet, how could she possibly keep this up until then? She couldn't just stop now, not until he would say he was coming. But her jaws still ached. All of a sudden she felt a hand close over her own one and felt it go up and down. Jenna released his shaft from her mouth and watched what Catcher was doing. He had noticed Jenna had slowed down and that had to be because of jaw cramps, she had been going at it for a number of minutes and her jaws must be hurting right now.

As soon as Jenna noticed her jaws were fine again, she went back to her earlier task and finish what she had started. She didn't need long though, after only a few seconds she felt his balls tighten up and his whimpers grew louder.

"Baby, I'm coming, please stop now before I come in your mouth, we'd better save that for another time when you are more used to it."

But Jenna figured she still had a few more seconds and she kept going and going. But then it happened; Catcher really could not wait anymore, he had tried to get Jenna off of him, but she just kept going. When the first bits hit her mouth, Jenna's first reactions were to throw 'the darn thing' out of her mouth and spit out what she just tasted, but it didn't taste as awful as she had first assumed. Plus, she really enjoyed Catcher's face right now. He was in ultimate bliss and when he noticed Jenna wasn't letting go he went even more insane.

Catcher could not believe it. Jenna actually swallowed almost everything on her first time giving a blowjob and look at her face! She was enjoying it all. Or at least, that is damn sure what it looked like to him. Boy were they going to repeat this again soon when Maggie was gone...

"That was amazing, love. I cannot believe you did that!"  
"You really liked it?"  
"You were amazing! But you really did not have to swallow, baby. I tried to pull you away, but somehow you never let go."  
"I know. I thought I still had a little time left, but when it happened I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would at first."  
"So, I can put protein shakes on our daily menu from now on?"  
"Hold your horses, cowboy. I said it wasn't as bad as I had thought, it doesn't mean I want to add a new food group to the food chain."  
"It was worth a try..."

~

"Do you think mum heard anything?"  
"I do hope not. How was that today anyway?"

And that is what they did every night. Every night Catcher would sneak into Jenna's bedroom, they would make love and talk afterwards. It made Jenna's days with her mother a whole lot easier.

When Jenna had whispered everything what was bothering her during the day, Catcher advised her to just let her mother do whatever she thought was best and not get in her way too much. If she then proved that she was fine and she could live on her own again, her mother would see that her work here was done and they could all get back to their normal lives.

“But you do know that as soon as she returns, she will call me every night and after that she will call you.”  
“Do you really think she will check up on me to make sure I returned to my own apartment?”  
“Maybe, but mostly to ask if everything I had told her minutes earlier was really true. ‘Is she really taking care of herself like she just told me? Are you sure she does not need any help? Do you think I should come back at least one day a week to make sure she is okay?’ And afterwards she just mouths ‘and are you really staying where you should stay until I see that wedding ring on your finger’ but she mouths it so soft, you would never ever know she said it.”

Unfortunately, 11 days later Maggie was still not convinced of her daughter’s wellbeing by the time Nina actually gave birth to their first baby boy; Charles junior. When Maggie left them on Wednesday morning to welcome her latest grandson to the world, she told Catcher and Jenna that she would return probably late that night.

“But mum, don’t you want to spend some more time with your new grandson? You always stay with my brothers and their wives when they give birth to their children.”  
“I know I normally do, dear. But I already spoke with Charles and Nina and they agree that you need my help more than they do. Now, come on dear. Let’s get you settled on that couch. Catcher, could you make sure she is back in her bed by 9.30 tonight? I will try to back by then.”  
“Do not worry Mrs. Taylor, I promise I will have her back in bed on time. You just enjoy being a grandmother today and do not worry about Jenna, she will be taken care of perfectly.”

“Alright, first thing I am going to do is call my brother.”  
“Excuse me? We have not been alone for an entire week and the second your mother is out the door, you decide to call your brother?”  
“Oh, hell yes. I need him to warn me as soon as mum leaves their house and comes back to New York”  
“Right, where is that phone? What is his number again?”  
“You dirty bastard.”

Funnily enough, they did spend the entire day in bed, but not doing what they both thought they would be doing all day. Jenna’s foot was hurting more than it usually did and they even called in a doctor to check if everything was alright. The on duty doctor gave her a prescription that would hopefully take the pain away. But for the first few hours it didn’t and that only left Jenna in a lot of pain.

By the time Maggie returned to the apartment, Jenna had only just fallen asleep and was finally free from pain. When Catcher explained what had happened that day, Maggie actually got angry at him for not calling her sooner.

“Mrs. Taylor, you were getting to know your new grandson, we did not want to spoil that blessed event. We called a doctor who looked at it and after he gave us some pain-medication, we figured we did not need to worry you and that she would be fine. I promised you this morning that I would take care of her and I kept to that promise. I never left her side and took care of her every need.”  
“You were with her in that bedroom all day?”  
“Yes, I was. But I can assure you that nothing happened that you do not approve of. Jenna was in so much pain, all she wanted was someone who could help her get that pain under control.”  
“Are you sure?” Maggie said with a stern look.  
“I am sure. I made a promise and I kept it.”  
“Alright then. Well, let me go and see my daughter then.”

By Saturday Maggie finally felt comfortable enough to leave her daughter and move her back to her own apartment. But of course not without promising her mother she would call whenever she felt like she needed help again. At around four in the afternoon Jenna’s father came around to have dinner with his wife and daughter and take his wife back home again.

There was just one thing she had neglected to tell her mother. The pain medication she was taking for the pain was also making her feel sick, but because Jenna feared her mother would stay longer, she never mentioned it to her.

Don’t get me wrong, Jenna really was thankful for her mother to help her out like she had over the last two weeks. She never thought she would say it, but she also liked having her mother around just to herself.

“Bye mum, thank you so much for everything that you have done. I don’t think I could have managed so well without you.” And Jenna actually meant it.  
“It was nothing dear, one day you will have children of your own and you will do the same thing for them. Not because you feel like you have to, but just because they are your children.”  
“Well, this child is very grateful.”  
“You just take care of yourself, dear. You will be back on your feet before you know it.”

“Are you alright?” Catcher asked as soon as he closed the door. He had promised Maggie and John that he would stay with Jenna until he was sure she was going to be alright for the night. However he had also seen her face was as white as a sheet.  
“I am fine, why?”  
“You look like the dead. Is anything wrong?”  
“No, it’s just the painkillers the doctor gave me. I get so nauseous from them.”  
“I had this feeling you weren’t feeling too well. You have not been yourself for 2 days already.”  
“I will be fine, don’t worry, love.”  
“Why don’t I get you to bed?”  
“Ehm…”  
“What is it, love? Please just tell me.”  
“Nothing. I guess I am just tired, that’s all.”  
“Hence the question…”  
“I-I know we have not spent any alone time in the last two weeks, let alone anything else, but would you mind if I actually really went to sleep?”  
“Is it really that bad? Do you want me to call the doctor again?”  
“No, please don’t. I am sure I will be fine in a day or two. If not, I promise I will call him Friday.”  
“Then I will ask you again; why don’t I get you to bed?”  
“Thank you, lovey. Just one more thing…”  
“What’s that love?”  
“You do know my mother is going to call both me _and/em > you tonight?”  
“I know. That is why I didn’t bring any clean clothes with me. I will go back to my own bed when you fall asleep.”  
“I am sorry love.”  
“Sorry for what? The sheets still smell like you and I have my hands to entertain me.”  
“I am not even going to answer that.”_

 _Unfortunately for Jenna, her nausea never left and true to promise, she decided to call her doctor on Friday. He was actually surprised to hear what Jenna told him, no patient had ever complained about nausea for that medicine before. He advised Jenna to stop taking them and if she liked, she could switch to a different pain killer._

 _Unfortunately as soon as she stopped, it only got worse. By the end of the weekend, Jenna was even throwing up and feeling very faint._

 _“I want to make an appointment for tomorrow. I have a feeling you are just ill with the flu, but I want to make sure, just in case. Can you come by tomorrow at 11.15?”  
“I guess I can ask Catcher to bring me. I will see you tomorrow then.”_

 _Before Jenna had a chance to hang up properly, her head was hanging over that bucket at the side of her bed again. Before Catcher even got home, she had thrown up several times and by the time he did get home, Jenna was too weak to get up and greet the man she loved._

 _~_

 _The following morning, Jenna and Catcher made their way to the doctor’s office. Jenna had slept like a log all throughout the night, but the second she woke up, the nausea returned tenfold. Brushing her teeth was useless, every time she tried, she threw up before she was finished brushing._

 _“Good morning doctor McKenzie.”  
“Good morning Ms. Taylor. Please sit down. How are you feeling this morning?”  
“I feel like I need a bucket within the next 3 seconds.”  
“Alright” doctor McKenzie said, as he watched Jenna spill her breakfast into the bucket he had handed her. “Not too well, I presume. Why don’t you sit on the bench there and I will run some tests on you. Mr. Block, would you mind waiting outside for just a few minutes?”_

 _“Right, can you breathe for me? Ah, thank you, that’s lovely.” He started. The next ten minutes were silent except for doctor McKenzie’s requests.”  
“Right, I cannot seem to find anything wrong yet. But that bucket in the corner there proves different. I would like a urine sample and a blood sample. That urine sample we can take care of here, right now. But that blood test, you will need to do in the hospital. Don’t worry, they will take some samples and you can leave straight away, you really don’t need to stay for that.”_

 _It took another ten minutes for the doctor to examine Jenna’s urine. The longer it took him, the more nervous Jenna got. What if something was really wrong with her? She has never had to give any urine- or blood sample before in her life. This must be serious, right?_

 _“Right, I have the results back. Mr. Block is your steady partner, isn’t he?”  
“Yes, he is.” _What does that have to do with my health?_  
“Right, I will call him in too. For what I have found, I think it might be best if he were right here with you.”_


	44. 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 40**

“Right, I have the results back. Mr. Block is your steady partner, isn’t he?”  
“Yes, he is.” _What does that have to do with my health?_  
“Right, I will call him in too. For what I have found, I think it might be best if he were right here with you.”  
“Is it _that_ bad?”  
“Don’t worry Ms. Taylor. I just think Mr. Block needs to hear this too.”  
“But… no offence to Catcher, but why?”  
“Don’t worry, Ms. Taylor. I will explain everything in just a moment”

“Hi, love, are you alright?” Catcher immediately asked when he walked through the door. He didn’t understand why he was called back inside. If nothing was wrong, why wasn’t Jenna walking out the door herself? Would it be more serious than they had thought it would be?  
“I-I don’t know. He hasn’t told me anything yet. He just said that for the result he thought it best if you were here too.”

“Right, Ms. Taylor. I have examined your urine sample…”  
“Urine sample? I thought you were just going to do some lung listening tests, or something. Why did you need a urine sample? What is wrong with her? Is she really that sick?”  
“Don’t worry, Mr. Block, I have also told Ms. Taylor that it is not that serious, I just think it is best if you both heard what I have found out. I did do some normal tests, such as lungs and heart, Mr. Block, but nothing came out of those tests that gave me an answer to what could be wrong here. That is why I requested a urine sample and maybe also a blood sample. But I found out that that blood sample is not necessary.”  
“A blood sample too? Bu…”  
“Don’t worry so much, Mr. Block. Your fiancé is all right. She doesn’t need that blood sample” To get Catcher in the office too, they told the doctor’s assistant that they were engaged. This was the only way to get him in as well.  
“Really? So you know what is wrong with me?”  
“Yes, I do, Ms. Taylor. In fact, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a very healthy young woman.”  
“But then why am I throwing up all the time?”  
“Ms. Taylor, you are pregnant”

“…”

“Bu… Bu… I… I am wha…. Pregnant?”  
“Indeed you are, Ms. Taylor. Congratulations.”  
“Pregnant? Are you sure?”  
“Absolutely sure, Ms. Taylor. I actually ran the test twice. When you told me about your throwing up all the time, something already told me to keep a possible pregnancy in mind. But because you thought it was from your medication, I could of course not take any risks. I had to run those tests to exclude the possibility of some sort of allergic reaction to the pills. When all those tests came out negative, the only possible test I could take was that urine test, just to confirm my initial thoughts. Now, from your reaction, I gather that this pregnancy was not planned?”  
“We are not married yet, doctor. Unmarried couples do not really plan any pregnancies.” Catcher finally found his voice, fear very present. He remembered the first time he heard the word ‘pregnancy’ all these years ago and that did not end the way he had hoped. He could still see the pain in Nancy’s eyes when her doctor had told her that they had lost the baby. What if it happened again? He could not take it if Jenna looked like Nancy had. He could not take it himself if he lost another baby.

“But it’s becoming more regular for unmarried couples to have children nowadays.”  
“Not where I come from.” Jenna answered again, though her expression was changing without realising herself. Her eyes started to sparkle.  
“Are you alright, Mr. Block?” Catcher had turned even whiter than Jenna was.  
“H-he has gone through all this before once, only it did not end happy. His first wife had a miscarriage.” Jenna quickly explained.  
“Mr. Block, do not worry. I am sure Ms. Taylor is fine. Not all pregnancies end in miscarriages. If they would, the planet would be empty by now, you must remember that. Just because you had one miscarriage doesn’t mean it will happen again. A miscarriage is nature’s way of telling you that the child the mother is carrying has no chance of survival. Do not worry, I am sure all will be fine and in a few months you will hold your beautiful and healthy baby in your arms. Please do not ruin this beautiful experience for you, just because you fear of what _could_ happen. Just enjoy every second of what _will_ happen; you will become parents of a child. There is just one thing I need to know right now to find out when that moment will be. When was your last period, Ms. Taylor?”  
“I-I am sorry, I am so very happy right now, but I still don’t understand though. I am never late or anything, always perfect on time and I am so careful with counting until when we should be careful. We never … ehm…”  
“Make love…” the doctor finished what Jenna dared not say.  
“Thank you… when I ovulate. I can sometimes even feel that happening”  
“That is very well possible. I know a few more women who can. That is nothing to worry about. It might even be helpful if you are either planning on children or the exact opposite. Now, Ms. Taylor, when was that date?”  
“I remember that it was on a Tuesday, so that must have been…. September 7.”  
“Let’s see, then it must have happened around September 21.”  
“No, that can’t be possible. We have not made love ever since September 18, the day I broke my foot…. The day I broke my foot and went to doctor Walker…” Jenna whispered the last part and just like that day in doctor Walker’s office, Jenna felt that shiver she had felt back then again right now. “Doctor, is it possible or even normal to have an early ovulation?” She had to make sure, though she knew in her heart already.  
“3 days early is quite a bit, but yes, it is possible. Personally I have never met anyone who has, but I know a few doctors who have patients that experience that same thing. But, I do really have to ask you, are you really not happy about your situation Ms. Taylor?”  
“I am happy, very happy even. I am just surprised that’s all. My parent’s are very old-fashioned and _they_ will be the ones who will not be too happy.”  
“But once you tell them, I am sure they will be thrilled. All parents are thrilled when they find out they will be grandparents.”  
“Then you have not met mine yet. I have so many nieces and nephews, I cannot even count them anymore. Only a week ago, one of my sisters-in-law gave birth to a boy, in a month another one will be born and I have a weird feeling that in about 6 or 7 months time _another_ one will join our family. Of course my parents will be happy eventually, but we are not married yet, so we have _a lot_ of explaining to do. My parents do not believe in sex before marriage, they think it is very wrong and they raised us that way. Up until a few months ago, I also still believed that it was right to wait until marriage.”  
“Don’t worry love, we will work it out. If they do not agree, then too bad. They have to live with that, not us. I love you and I love our baby and that is all that matters.” This was the first time Catcher had said anything, up until that moment Jenna did not even know how Catcher felt about their pregnancy.  
“Really? Yo-you are okay with it? I mean, we never talked about children yet. I wasn’t even sure if you ever wanted to try to have children again. I was always afraid that after what happened to Nancy, you would never want to anymore.”  
“Of course I wanted to have children, especially ever since we got together. Maybe we never talked about children, but I did think about one day hopefully having them with you.”  
“Really? So, I am not the only one?”  
“Heck no. of course you are not.”  
“So you are really happy? We are really going to do this? We are going to be parents?”  
“Don’t even try to stop me!”  
“Then, doctor McKenzie. Tell us all we need to know. How long before we give birth?”

~

She’s pregnant, _pregnant!_ Actually carrying a child with her. The doctor called it ‘5 weeks old’ but Jenna knew exactly when she really got pregnant. It was that time at doctor Walker’s office. She had felt that shiver and she just knew that that was the moment it happened. That was only 3 weeks ago. Funny how you get 2 weeks for free…

Remembering that book she had bought in that baby store when she was trying to run from Catcher, she was going to look up everything there was to know about her pregnancy and what she could expect. She wondered how big her baby was right now. Was that even known? She felt her stomach, would she already be able to feel anything already? How long would it take before her belly would start to grow?

But then her brains turned to something else…

What was she going to tell her colleagues at work? Or Stacey? Or worse… her parents. She feared her parents the most. She knew her colleagues and Stacey could handle it, they would all be thrilled, but her parents would not be. If she would have been married, it would have been different, but she wasn’t. How on earth was she going to explain it to her parents? They would freak out. They would never understand. Jenna had always told her parents with pride how she would wait until her wedding night. What would they say? Would they throw her out of the house? Would they ever be happy for her? Would they ever try to understand? Would they ever accept the child as their grandchild? Would they ever forgive her?

Question after question fired through her head, she couldn’t help herself. She had never been so scared of her parents in her life. All her life she couldn’t wait to go out into the real world and live a normal life and now that she was and living life to the fullest, she was afraid of what they might think of the child she was carrying out of wedlock? What was wrong with her? She used to be such a strong woman!

All the way back to her apartment, Jenna never said a word. She couldn’t help herself. Every time she tried to be happy again, a picture of her parents tortured her and all happiness soon faded to the background. Catcher had seen the look in her eyes and wondered what could be wrong with her. Was she really not happy about their child after all? True, they had not planned it and it might not be the best time to start a family right now, but he was still very happy. If he just kept reminding himself that this time it did not have to end the way it had done the last time he found out he was going to be a father, he would be alright.

By the time they got home, Jenna was exhausted. All the worrying about her family tired her out and all she wanted to do was sleep.  
“Jen? Can I ask you something?”  
“Sure love, what is it? Are you alright? You look worried. I thought you said you were happy?”  
“I don’t think I could be any happier, but are _you_ also happy? You have not said anything ever since we left doctor McKenzie’s office.”  
“O-Of course I am happy, I mean, I am going to be a mother, together with you. We have created a life because we love each other so much.”  
“But then, what is bothering you? Why don’t you look happy? Is it your parents? Are you really _that_ scared of how they might react?”  
“Aren’t you?”  
“No, why should I be? And neither should you. Since when do you care what your parents tell you? You never have in the past, why now? You have always been this strong and independent woman, where is she?”  
“She is still here.” Jenna whispered.  
“Is she really? If she is here, then why isn’t she showing herself? Why won’t she come up for herself and be proud of herself and our baby? She never used to care of what your parents thought of your behaviour, she moved to New York to prove her point.”  
“I don’t know. Maybe because my parents have always been so proud of my promise to them. They know I have kept that promise all these years… well, up until a few months ago…”  
“But do you really think they will be less proud of you?”  
“I don’t just think it, I _know_ it. Catch, you know what they are like. They really do not approve of this. They will really be disappointed.”  
“But it is not them that matter, it’s you who is most important in this situation. _You_ matter most. And if _you_ don’t put yourself first then this child will feel it too eventually.”  
“I know that, really I do… I guess I just… I don’t know… I know I never felt like I needed any type of approval from them, but right now… I don’t know…”  
“I promise you, they will never think any less of you. You are their only daughter, Jen. They love you, they _will_ be proud.”

“How are we going to tell them?” Again Jenna had been silent for quite some time. She was trying to get it all through to her what was really happening, again not being able to shake the fear of her parent’s reaction.  
“Who? Baby, please tell me you are not still afraid of your parents? What did I tell you? They _will_ be proud, love. If not, they do not deserve the love of our child.”  
“That is a very harsh thing to say…”  
“That is how certain I am that they will not hate you or refuse to acknowledge this baby.”  
“But then still, how are we going to tell them?”  
“ ‘mum, dad, we have some wonderful news to tell you; I am pregnant and we cannot wait for June to greet our child into this world’ How about that?”  
“This is not a joke, Catch. I am serious. I promise you I am very proud of our baby, but we still need to tell my parents carefully. Not just because I might be afraid of their reaction toward _me_ , but because they do not think like we do. They are not as open-minded as we are.”  
“So what? Isn’t that _their_ problem?”  
“You are right, I know you are. I don’t understand why I am acting this way. Have my parents finally brainwashed me enough? I just can’t help it. You know I have never cared about whatever my parents tried to tell me, except for this. Help! I really need help, love.”  
“Don’t worry, love, I am right here.”

Catcher tightened his arm that was already around Jenna and kissed her sleep. He could already hear the engagement ring screaming out to him to put it around Jenna’s finger, but _he_ was afraid that Jenna might reject it now, thinking the only reason why he was proposing was just because of their unborn child. How was he going to make Jenna believe that he had had this ring in his position for so long now? Maybe if he asked Jenna next month, she would not be so suspicious. But all thoughts fled his mind when he heard five words being spoken to him; “Make love to me, Catch”

~

“Mrs. Taylor speaking”  
“Stace, how is the mother-to-be doing?”  
“Jenna! Funny, I was just thinking about you. Don’t know why, for some reason, but I was.”  
“I was sending you brainwaves to make sure you would answer the telephone, haha.”  
“Oh dear lord, what is wrong?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that I always know when something is wrong and right now, something is _extremely_ wrong or worrying you. So, tell me.”

“First, will you promise not to judge me, just try to be happy?”  
“That all depends on what I need to be happy about”  
“I… I am pregnant…”

“…”

“Stace?”

“I am so sorry, but I dropped the phone. You should see your brother right now. He has no idea why my face shows a grin from ear to ear. If I could, I would be jumping up and down right now.”  
“You are not just saying that, are you?”  
“Now why would you say such a thing? Have I ever been dishonest with you? You know perfectly well I would never judge you like that.”  
“I-I am sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I just need to hear more people be happy for us before I tell my parents.”  
“Ah, that makes sense. I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I am really happy for the both of you. Can I tell Joe? Or do you want to do that yourself?”  
“What do you think?” Jenna asked with a worry on her face again. What was wrong with her? This was her brother, for crying out loud. He always understood why she was happy or worried.

“Hi, sis. What’s up? Stacey just threw the telephone at me, telling me you have some great news to share…”

 _Here it goes…_

“I-I am pregnant, Joey…”  
“Really? So our little boy is going to have a friend to play with in a few months?” Joe answered excitedly.  
“Boy???”  
“Of course, isn’t that what all fathers-to-be hope for?”  
“I don’t know, let me ask Catcher… Catch, what do you hope our baby will be? A boy or a girl?”  
“Definitely a boy, I don’t want my daughter to come home with some guy who is only after sex one day.”  
“So what you are basically saying is, you would not want your daughter to come home with a guy like you?”  
“I don’t even ever want her thinking of coming home with a guy like me… EVER!!”  
“I guess I have my answer right there.”  
“Jen, congratulations sis. Stacey and I could not be happier, really.”  
“You have no idea what that means to hear you say that.”  
“Of course I would say that. You are my favourite sister, remember?”  
“And being the only sister you have, I can safely say that you are my favourite brother too.”  
“Sis, there is a huge woman almost ripping my arm off trying to grab for the phone again. I am afraid I am going to have to let you talk to her. I am sure she will tell me all about it when she hangs up the phone in a few hours.”  
“Bye little brother and thank you…”  
“You are more than welcome, just make sure you have a boy in there for junior to play with.”

“Jen? Are you comfortable?”  
“Huh? Yes, why?”  
“Do you have a drink nearby?”  
“Yes…. Why?”  
“Ask Catcher now if he will prepare any snack if you desire one.”  
“Not until you tell me _WHY???_ ”  
“Because for the next hour, you will be on the phone telling me everything. I will not hang up until I am completely satisfied.”  
“Huh! That phrase got me in this situation too.”

“Now, start!” Stacey said after she finally got Jenna to actually ask Catcher to provide her with everything she needed until she hung up the phone.  
“Where do you want me to start? I don’t even think I know where to begin.”  
“How come?”  
“Because it has not hit me fully yet what I only found out 3 hours ago.”   
“But you did have an idea, right? Or else you would not go to a doctor.”  
“No, I didn’t. I went to him because I thought the nausea was a bad reaction to the medication I got for the pain.”  
“But you told me last Friday your doctor made you stop taking that medication.”   
“That’s right, he did and of course I did too. But over the weekend the nausea really got worse and I started to throw up as well. Not in the mornings, I might add by the way. I couldn’t hold anything down anymore and that is why I called the doctor again. When we went in this morning, we all thought it was just a routine check-up to see why I reacted to the medication so badly. After a few minutes doctor McKenzie told me he wanted to have a blood- and urine sample.”   
“Blood??”   
“Yes, he already had some suspicions about a possible pregnancy by that time, but he didn’t want to take any chances and already suggest that in case the urine test was negative.”  
“Wow, I am glad that test was positive then.”  
“But I did not know he was going to test me for a possible pregnancy yet. He did not want to worry me in case a pregnancy was not the case.”  
“But when did he tell you that then?”   
“Well, after about 10 minutes after the test, he told me to get dressed again. He asked me if Catcher was my steady partner and then told me that ‘he thought it best for him to be in the office for the results too’.”  
“And you still did not know anything?”  
“Nope, I was freaking out. Why on earth did Catcher need to be there when the doctor gave me my results? So many things went through my head at that moment of what it could be, you know what I mean? ‘Am I going to die?’ Anyway, when Catcher sat down next to me he started to tell me that he found something in my urine sample that made the blood sample not necessary, which surprised Catcher as he did not know anything that had went on during my examination. And then he just told us ‘Ms. Taylor, you are pregnant’.”  
“Oh my goodness. That has to be the shock of your life when you first assume you are allergic to medication.”   
“Oh hell yes. I think I asked him if he was really sure about this for 5 minutes. How could I be pregnant when we are always so very careful? I knew we had a few days left before I ovulated, but according to the doctor it is rare but it does happen that an ovulation can take place a few days earlier or later, though it really doesn’t happen often.”   
“So, how far along are you now?”   
“He told us 5 weeks now.”  
“So it happened about 3 weeks ago? Did you manage to actually do it with your mother in the same house?”   
“Noooooo, mum practically forced herself in the bathroom when I had to go, I think in those 2 weeks I only had about 30 seconds to myself. But I do know _precisely_ when it _did_ happen…”  
“Really? You do?? When???”  
“You remember our little… adventure… at doctor Walker’s office?”  
“YOU GOT PREGNANT AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE???” Stacey screamed into the phone. This caused for Joe to look up _very_ surprised and a few seconds later disgusted at the thought of knowing about his sister’s sex-life. Then another few seconds passed by and something else hit him…  
“She had _sex_ WHERE??”

“How can you be so sure? I mean, you really think that it happened there?”  
“As sure as I am that the sun will set tonight and rise again in the morning.” Jenna repeated the words Stacey had said to her all those months ago.  
“But how?”  
“At the end, when we were… catching our breath… I felt this shiver going through my body which lasted for about a minute. At first I did not pay attention to it, but later when I thought back to what had happened in there, I got that same shiver again. When the doctor told me about the baby I felt it _again_. There is no doubt in my mind that it happened that afternoon.”  
“I wish I knew when I got pregnant. Doctor Walker asked us to think back around my ovulation date, but when we started laughing at his question we had to tell him that… ehm… our… romantic life…”  
“What the… since when are you discrete about sex? Call it sex-life, just like you taught me…”  
“All right… sex-life, our sex-life was very active and we… ehm…. We did it every day at least once…”

In the background, Jenna could hear her brother protest ‘hang on, it’s bad enough doctor Walker knows, does my sister really have to know too?’ Stacey snickered and replied that ‘yes, it was of the utmost importance that Jenna, her very best friend since they were little, knew about that too’.

“Kind of like us then…” Jenna replied to Stacey’s earlier statement. But Jenna knew she was safe, Catcher had no idea what she had answered too. Not that Catcher would ever mind. He knew about the openness of Jenna and Stacey’s friendship and was alright with it.

“Probably, yes. But that meant for us that we now do not know exactly which one of those times was ‘it’.”  
“Ah well, in the end it is more important that the baby is healthy, right? I mean, I am thrilled that I know for sure when it happened, but I will be much happier to see a happy and healthy baby in 8 months time.”

“So, what is going to happen next? I mean, where are you going to raise the baby? Are you going to keep your job? Are you going to get married? Are you going to move in together? Can you afford it? Where is the baby going to sleep? And most importantly; have you thought about how you are going to tell your parents yet?”  
“I don’t know… I mean, I only found out a few hours ago and I have not really been able yet to think of all that. I am still getting used to the idea of becoming a mother and how happy I am about that.”  
“But you do know you are going to have to think about it soon?”  
“Of course I do. But I just need a little more time before I can answer all _those_ questions, especially the last one.”  
“Well, you better come up with an answer very soon, because I think your parents are expecting you home for the weekend.”  
“Oh no, not yet. I can’t think of anything in only 3 days. I really need more time for that.”  
“But then you need to think of getting out of coming home for the weekend and I think that that is a task just as hard.”  
“How about we are going to visit Hoyt and his family for the weekend? We agreed to that months ago, must have mentioned it too, they must have forgotten about it then?”  
“Could work, but what are you going to say when she starts about my due date being so soon?”  
“Easy, you got their number and you promised to call the second your labour starts.”  
“Good one, I hadn’t thought about that yet.”

And that is exactly what Jenna and Catcher ended up telling Maggie when she called an hour later to confirm their weekend arrival. Stacey also suggested that they would actually _really_ go visit Catcher’s brother. The fresh air might do Jenna a lot of good and it would give them both some time to think about what they wanted. What Stacey did not mention was that she knew Carry would help Jenna to get her to tell her mother the truth!

“I never knew you felt something too?” Catcher had told Maggie that weekend that he would be working late for a few days the following week and thus he would not be able to answer his telephone if she called at night. This bought Jenna and Catcher a few nights together without Maggie asking questions.  
“When?” Clearly not understanding what Catcher meant.  
“At doctor Walker’s office. I thought I was the only one who felt this weird shivering over me.”  
“You too? See _that_ is exactly why I am so sure that this little baby was created right there and then.”

“I-I hope you don’t mind, but I called Hoyt this afternoon and he would be delighted if we actually stayed with him for the weekend.”  
“Stacey suggested the same thing too. That we should really go, I mean.”  
“I figured she would. Then why don’t we? Carry is dying to see you again and I am sure the kids are too.”  
“Ha-have you told your brother about our baby yet?”  
“Of course not yet, I figured that was something we would do together.”  
“That’s what I was hoping too. I still cannot believe this, can you? I mean, there is actually a tiny little person growing inside of me.”

They talked for hours about the baby, thought of names and how they would like to raise it. Imagined what life would be like if it was going to be a boy, or a girl. They talked about where they would like to raise it; in the city, the suburbs or even move closer to their families. What schools they would want their child to go to and hopefully later on which colleges and universities. The biggest question however was; work! What were they going to do now? Was Jenna going to stop working, even though she always said she wanted to keep her job after giving birth? Was Catcher going to keep a fulltime job?

When Jenna really started to think about whether or not she really would give up her job, she actually found herself sad if she was to give that all up. When she finally gave in to Catcher, she figured that the only reason why she felt the way she had with Carson was because she never loved him. She thought that once she would start a family with Catcher, she would be happy to give up her job. But now that that time was there, she wasn’t so sure about that anymore. She loved Catcher more than she ever thought she could love a person, but she loved her job too.

When she admitted this to Catcher, he understood her thoughts. He was actually quite proud she felt this way. This meant that the strong Jenna who broke free from her mundane life she had led with her family was still there and very much alive.

“Why don’t I see what I can do? Maybe Mac will let me work at home a few days a week. How about that? Would you like that? Then you could work the days I work at home.”  
“Would you do that?” Jenna asked with surprise. She knew how much Catcher loved his job, she would never even have asked such a thing from him.  
“Of course I would. I was going to do that when Nancy found out she was pregnant too. I’m not the ‘ladies man yada yada’ everyone thinks I am. I might have been before, but that is all in the past. I am not saying I will become a dull guy, believe me, I won’t. I will always be as outgoing as I have always been, but I guess I will become an outgoing family man now.”   
“Would you mind if I kept working? Not 5 days a week, of course, but maybe 1 or 2 days?”  
“I don’t think I would want it any different. You love your job; you need that job for you. Besides, I would like some time with just junior and me. No mummy around.” As Catcher winked, his eyes sparkled with pride.  
“Junior?”  
“Of course…” Catcher winked.  
“For some reason I hope that both Stacey and I are carrying girls, I would love to see your faces when you find out you won’t be able to name them junior…”


	45. 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Chapter 41**

“Are you ready, love? Are you alright? Or do you need a little while longer? Are you starting to feel a bit better? We can always cancel, love. Maybe we can even ask them to come over to us for the weekend. If you are not feeling well, they will understand.”  
“I’m alright” Jenna replied on the other side of the bathroom door. She felt uncomfortable throwing up in front of Catcher. And that is what Jenna did during the early hours of the mornings, the late afternoons and just before she went to bed. Yes, she felt very lucky indeed. She had read a lot about pregnancies over the last few days and had also found out that in most pregnancies only during the mornings you felt sick, that was why they called it _morning sickness_. Why Jenna threw up twice as much as ‘most people’ she did not understand and it bugged her extremely that she was not ‘most people’. “I will be ready to go in 15 minutes.”   
“Are you sure? If you don’t feel good, don’t feel pressured to go.”   
“I told you I was alright, didn’t I? Just give me a few more minutes and I will be fine.” The hormones in her body were raging again.

And just like Jenna had said, after about 15 minutes she was fine. She still felt a bit nauseous, but she knew she could handle the trip. Catcher helped her in his car and just in case, put a plastic bag in the glove compartment. He felt so sorry for her. He’s had to listen to her throw up from behind the bathroom door and he hated the sound. Maybe he hated it even more _because_ he could only hear it through that closed door and not help her at her side. He understood she didn’t like anyone there with her, but he did want to help. If only to hold her hair back or rub her back, tell her she was going to be okay and that this was just temporary.

On their way Jenna soon fell asleep. For Catcher it meant that Jenna was okay now. Over the last few days he had noticed Jenna usually wanted to sleep when she came out of the bathroom. He drove the way to his brother in silence, checking Jenna as much as he could. He loved to watch her sleep. When he parked his car in front of his brother’s farm, he actually had to wake his girlfriend up as she had slept the entire journey.

He was just in time too because Gina and Lance were already running up to the car. Carry ran after them, yelling that they had to come back and wait for uncle Catcher and Auntie Jenna to come out of the car first. “Wait until Auntie Jenna is safely sitting on the couch and don’t you dare run off with her crutches”   
Catcher smiled as he heard his sister-in-law call Jenna ‘auntie’, he was so happy that both women got along so well. He just feared of Carry’s over-excitement when she would find out about the baby.

When Carry saw Jenna’s face however, no words were needed to tell her Jenna was pregnant. Carry had always had an eye for this and she could see it instantly by the look in Jenna’s eyes. She did not say it though, that should be left to the proud parents-to-be. Now that she looked at her brother-in-law, it was also obvious in the way he looked. His eyes sparkled as much as Jenna’s did and even though Jenna could walk on her crutches, he was very protective of her. She heard him ask her if she was really alright at least three times before they were even inside the house.

“Well, you just missed lunch. But we have some left, would you like some?”  
“I am starving” Jenna said eagerly with hungry eyes.  
“My mother gave me this delicious recipe for scrambled eggs and I went a little nuts this morning and made way too much.”

As Catcher helped Jenna sit down at the kitchen table, the smell of eggs reached Jenna’s nostrils and she practically literally turned green on the spot. What the hell was happening now? She loved eggs! Why on earth did the smell of those delicious scrambled eggs turn her stomach?

“I-I guess I am less hungry after all. Would you mind if I went out to the porch and watch the horses for a bit?”  
“But you have not eaten anything since breakfast, love. You need to eat something.” Catcher said with a worried look on his face. Jenna’s morning sickness had started very early today and she had not even been able to finish her breakfast.  
“Why don’t I make something else? What else would you really like? Just some toast maybe?” Carry realised the smell of eggs were turning her off and that Jenna was probably suffering from morning sickness. Maybe some neutral smelling food would do her good.  
“That would be nice, thank you.”  
“You know what? Catch, could you take some stuff with you? We can sit out on the porch anyway, who knows how long we still get to enjoy this nice weather?”

~

“So? How are you doing? How your leg? I heard you had to take medication for the pain? Is that okay now?” Carry started when Jenna was hovering down her breakfast.

 _Wow, I never thought the firing squad also lived here?_

“I am fine now. The pain is gone, I guess my leg is really healing now.”  
“You still look a bit pale though, are you sure you are okay? If you want to lie down for a bit, I have the guestroom all ready for you.”  
“No, not yet, thanks. Maybe later though.”  
“How does it feel to finally have your mother back at her own home again?”  
“I love my mother to pieces, really I do. But the second she closed the door of the car and dad drove off, it felt like Christmas, New Year and all of my birthdays combined. I just sat in my apartment and enjoyed the silence for an hour. The only sound I heard was Mr. Mister purring in my lap.”  
“And now? Is Catcher back at your place again?”  
“It took him 3 nights before he gave up again. He waited for mum to call him and within 2 seconds after hanging up, he was in his car over to me.”

They all chatted until Hoyt and the kids returned from spending a day riding horses. When Carry made her way to the kitchen, Jenna could not help but ask what would be for dinner and luckily spinach was something her stomach liked. Had she said carrots, Jenna would have definitely spent a night in the bathroom. That time of day was also almost at hand. How on earth was she going to excuse herself? They would never believe she would want a bath or anything, she still wore her cast and who on earth spent close to an hour in the toilet? Would they believe her if she said she ate beans for dinner last night?

In the end Catcher came up with ‘lying down for a while’ and winked as to say that there would not be sleeping done on that bed for a while. As soon as he had said that he sped Jenna up to the guestroom with a bathroom pretty close, just in time too.

After dinner, they all sat out on the porch again, enjoying the sunset with a nice cup of tea. Jenna knew this was the moment she had to share their news. No one was ever going to believe they wanted to ‘lye down’ 3 times a day.

“W-we have some great news…”

~

“Mum, mum, calm down. I overslept, that is all! Catcher is already here and we are about to leave in a few minutes… I know we will face weekend-traffic… We will be fine driving in the rain… yes, I packed the presents just in case the baby is born this weekend… no, I did not get them summer clothes… mum… mum… MUM, I will be there in an hour, you can ask me everything then… yes… yes… Bye mum!”  
“Who was that?” Catcher said with a smirk.  
“Don’t you dare! Or I will have you join me for this afternoon’s throw-up session and it won’t be me throwing up this time.”  
“Aren’t we cranky this morning!”  
“Catch! Shut up. I am not in the mood for this.”  
“Don’t worry love. I thought after last weekend you were full of spirit and confidence in telling your parents.”  
“I still am, but that does not mean I am not nervous about it. Let’s just go and get it over with.”

During their drive up to the house Jenna dreaded to go to, Jenna got more and more nervous as they came closer. Unfortunately she could not handle her nerves too well and usually took that out on Catcher. She hated herself for it, but she could not help herself. After every remark, she apologised and Catcher only enjoyed it all more and more. He knew it were the hormones talking, so he just sat back and enjoyed it all, especially the apologies.

“Hi, mum. Don’t worry, Catcher will help me!” Jenna said quickly when her mother ran up to the car as soon as it pulled up. It was poring rain and her mother carried an umbrella so Jenna’s cast would not get wet!!!  
“Hello dear. How are you doing? You look tired. Do you want to lie down?”  
“I would rather get inside first, mum. Thanks”  
“How about I get you a nice cup of coffee, dear?”

 _Oh oh, coffee! If I take one sip, I will spend the next hour in the bathroom for sure._

“Maybe a cup of tea?”  
“Tea? I cannot remember seeing you drink tea for years? Or is tea a hip thing to drink in New York again?”  
“No, mum. I just so happen to like tea. Always have!”  
“Tea it is then. You too, Catcher?”  
“I’d love a cuppa, thanks Mrs. Taylor. Now, how about we get Jenna in before we are all soaking wet but her leg?”  
“Right, right.”

As they entered the house, they noticed almost the entire family was there again. As if they had not seen each other in years. Of course Stacey and Joe were missing, Maggie had ordered them to stay put because Stacey was already due 4 days now. When Jenna suggested they visit them an hour after they arrived, Maggie forbid them to go because Stacey needed all the rest she could get. Even when Jenna tried to reason with her mother that Stacey was pregnant, not dying from cancer her mother was adamant.

However Jenna wanted to be at her brother’s place in time before her ‘afternoon sickness’ announced itself. She really _was_ going to tell her parents this weekend, she just had not figured out _how_ yet. Since it was already 3 PM, she knew she had to hurry with an excuse though. It was almost time and she had not been able to come up with the perfect story yet.

Miraculously, Jenna managed to escape from her family and stay in the bathroom for an hour without anyone noticing what was going on behind that door. She was safe for another few hours. Would that be enough to tell everyone about her pregnancy and make everyone understand that even though she was not married, it was still a beautiful thing to happen to her and that everyone should be happy for her instead of condone her?

But the evening came and went without Jenna or Catcher telling everyone the truth and the next morning they did not tell either. Jenna knew she could not leave without saying anything or else she would go insane. She had to get it out and it had to be today before she went home again.

That afternoon she finally managed to visit her brother and her best friend. But the only way she was able to visit was if her mother went along to make sure Stacey would not get too tired. And because Maggie felt like he had to, because that was just the ‘right thing to do’ her father went along too. The second they all walked through the door, Maggie took over everything and ordered Stacey to not leave her seat for a second.

“Bu…”  
“No buts, Stacey, dear. You are not getting up and that is final!”

“So, have you told them yet?” Stacey whispered when Maggie and John were out of earshot.  
“No, not yet. Still don’t know how to. Don’t get me wrong, I really do want to tell them, I am proud of this baby, but how do you tell people who do not approve of sex before marriage about a baby who will be born out of wedlock? I know they are going to freak and that is their problem, but I would still like to tell them in a way they will not freak as much as I fear they will.”  
“Just remember the bandage, rip it off slowly and it will hurt a lot, do it quick and it will be over before you know it.”  
“I know, I know, but that really is easier said than done. I promise I will tell them before I go back home again. I can not live with my parents not knowing for one more weekend. You should have seen them last night when I spent an hour in the bathroom. I had to tell them that I ate beans last night.”  
“And they actually believed that?”  
“Believe it or not, but they did!! Mum actually made me warm milk, because she thinks it will calm my stomach. In reality warm milk only gets me more nauseous, even the thought of the smell can send me back into that bathroom for at least another hour.”  
“Boy, you really have it bad, don’t you?”  
“You didn’t? Please don’ tell me I am the only one”  
“Oh, I threw up alright, but not as much as you are doing.”  
“Yay, lucky me.”

“What are you two girls whispering about? Wedding gowns? Baby names?” Maggie re-entered the living room.  
“Just girl stuff, mum. No baby names or wedding gowns were mentioned. By the way? Wedding gowns?”  
“A mother can hope, can’t she?”  
“Don’t worry, mum, that day will come some day. I promise you this.”  
“I just hope I will actually _live_ to see that day.”  
“Mum, stop it!”

“Wow, someone’s cranky” Joe said as he looked up from his paper.  
“What? What is today? Let’s annoy Jenna-day?”  
“What’s up with you today, dear? You have not been yourself all morning. And you also spent an awful long time in the bathroom again, maybe you should see a doctor about those beans you ate. Are you sure they were not past their due date? That’s the problem with those canned vegetables, you can keep them good longer, but I still seriously doubt whether they are really good for you. You should just buy fresh veggies, dear. I am willing to put my life on it that they are much better for you and that most vitamins are still in it too. That is why I am so glad that over here you can still mostly only buy fresh vegetables and hardly any canned goo…”  
“It wasn’t the beans mum, I am pregnant…..”

It took Maggie a full minute before she even closed her mouth. And just like in a cartoon, John flew back into the living room with his eyes as wide as saucers.

“WHAT? You are WHAT?”  
“… pregnant, dad… I am pregnant.”  
“And how is that possible when you are supposed to be saving yourself for marriage?”  
“Dad, please…”  
“No Jenna, not ‘please’, you will answer the question. How can a girl who is not married and thus not be having sex be pregnant from another man who is also not married?”  
“By making love, dad. And that is what happened. We got pregnant after we _made love_ ”  
“Is that so? But to ‘make love’ you need a golden ring around your finger and the last time I checked I did not see one.”  
“But why do I need a ring to become a mother?”  
“Because that is the law, Jenna.”  
“No it is not, dad. It is not against the law to make love and create life. I cannot go to prison for that. _You_ made it _your_ law, and that is very different.”  
“I don’t care, Jenna. This is wrong and we will take care of this right now.”  
“Take care how? Get an abortion? And you don’t think _that_ is against the law? Last time _I_ checked _that_ actually was against the US law. Besides, I will never EVER have an abortion. I love this child and I love Catcher and we are raising this child together whether you like it or not. I do not need your approval, dad. I would like your blessing, though.”

“How can you honestly think we would ever approve of this, Jenna?” Maggie finally found her voice again.  
“Mum, it wasn’t as if we planned it. We never meant to get pregnant before we got married. It just happened this way.”  
“But how could it have ‘happened this way’ when you are not even supposed to be with a man ‘that way’ yet?”  
“I-I’m sorry mum, I know I have disappointed you, but it just happened. We are so much in love that we wanted to express our true feelings to each other by _making love_. And that is what happened, we made love and made life. Please just be happy for us, we are.”

“This never would have happened if you would not have moved to that awful city.”  
“Dad, please don’t start that again.”  
“Yes, I will. If you had not moved to that darn city, you would not have gotten these weird ideas in your head and you would never have ended up in this situation. If you had stayed here, you would have met a normal man and probably even be married by now, as you should.”  
“Married to whom, dad? To Carson? To a man who has made me miserable even before we were supposed to get married? Plus, I didn’t get those ‘weird’ ideas in New York, those ‘weird’ ideas were already in my head when I still lived here, that was why I moved _to_ New York. I hated living here, remember? I was not happy here. I _am_ happy in New York. Why is it so hard for you to accept?”  
“Because apparently you seem to be the only person here who does not see how wrong this is. You should be ashamed of yourself, Jenna.”  
“Ashamed of WHAT? Should I really be ashamed of being so much in love that we created LIFE? I think I should be VERY proud of this. The only reason why YOU refuse to see that is because you are afraid of your reputation here. Because you are so afraid that people will look at you differently. See, that is something I learned while living in that ‘darn city’. I learned to just accept life, accept that people are different. I have no problem with being pregnant without being married, because that little piece of paper does not make me a different kind of mother. I will still be the same Jenna and this child will not be raised any different because I am not married.”

“We will never know though, now will we?” Maggie said with a stern look on her face.  
“What do you mean? Are you still talking about that abortion? Because you know I will never do that. If you are serious about it, you can count on never EVER seeing me or your grandchild ever again.”  
“You know perfectly well that we approve less of abortion than of having a child out of wedlock. That is why you are getting married before this child is born.”  
“EXCUSE ME??? I don’t think so, mum. I am not going to get married just to save your reputation or because you want me to. I told you before that the only reason why I will get married is because of love. I know I love this child, but that is still no reason to get married. I promise you that when the time is right, we will get married. Maybe we can even include the baby in the wedding. It would be so nice to see him or her walking in front of us with rose petals.”  
“That is NOT going to happen, Jenna and you know it. I know we have been tight on your upbringing, but we have let a lot of things go too when we noticed you were different from the rest of us. We _have_ noticed your free spirit, even if you still think we didn’t. But there is one thing I will not see happening and that is see a grandchild be born without it’s parents being officially bound to each other. There is no discussion this time, I am serious.”  
“Too bad, mum”  
“JENNA!!! I said NO discussion. You are getting married and that is final.”  
“Come on, Catch. Maybe it is time for us to go. We can come back when my parents start thinking rationally and accept our choices”

“Maybe we should!”

“Maybe we should what?”  
“Get married”  
“Don’t you start either. I am not going to marry you just because we are pregnant or because my parents want us to.”  
“But I would not be marrying you because of that. I would marry you because I love you and I want to.”  
“Baby, if I was not pregnant right now, I would have accepted in a microsecond. But that is just it; I _am_ pregnant and I do not want to get married for that reason. I want it to be because of love and because we want to show the world what we mean to each other.”  
“But that is what we would be doing, the only difference is that you have a big tummy.”  
“No Catch, I won’t do it. Not this way. I don’t want to tell stories to our child when it’s older about how we decided to get married. ‘Well, mummy found out she was pregnant with you and that is why we decided to get married. No daddy did not propose, we just did it.’”  
“But who says I won’t propose?”  
“You mean ‘maybe we should?’ was it? That was your romantic proposal? That is the story I get to tell this little one when he or she asks about it?”  
“I didn’t say I already proposed, I said who said I _won’t_ propose?”  
“No, Catch. No matter what you say now will make me change my mind. I love you more than life and I really do want to marry you one day, but not now. Not for the wrong reasons.”  
“But I won’t marry you for the wrong reason, I want to marry you because I love you. The fact that you are carrying my child is only a bonus.”

“Catcher, you are doing the right thing by proposing to our daughter. You have our full blessing, though we would have preferred a different situation.”  
“I-I can’t yet.”  
“Huh?” Jenna answered surprised. She still did not want to get married yet, but she was counting on a proposal right now. What she really would have answered, she didn’t know. She really does want to marry Catcher, but she was so very afraid that he would only marry her because of their child.  
“I-I’m sorry, you will have to wait a little longer.”  
“Why, Catcher? I thought you were on the same line and that you wanted to marry our daughter.”  
“I do, I really do with all my heart, but I cannot propose yet.”  
“And why not?” John asked angrily.  
“I can’t tell you right now, I have my reasons but I will let you know why soon enough.”  
“I don’t understand, dear. Why all of a sudden do you have a problem when just one minute ago you wanted to marry her?”  
“I said before, I do really want to marry her, I love her, but for reasons I cannot explain right now, I cannot propose to her yet.”  
“Then we will just see this as proposal, because it is happening. Jenna, as soon as you have quit your job, I want you to move back home so we can take care of you while you are pregnant until you are officially married.”  
“Mum, will you stop? No, I will not move back home. No, I will not quit my job. I will stay in New York and eventually move in with Catcher and raise our child in New York. You have been to his apartment and it is perfect for our child.”  
“Jenna!!!”  
“ **Mum!!!** You can say whatever you want, but I will keep my foot down too. If you do not approve of this situation, too bad. Get used to not seeing me for a long time.”

“No, Jen. Please don’t.” Catcher said as he walked back into the room, putting something in his pocket. Jenna had not even noticed he had left the room. “Please sit down for a second.”  
He sat Jenna down on the nearest couch and sat in front of the couch facing the woman he loved. Jenna noticed his face was a bit flushed and his breathing seemed a little faster than normal. He was swallowing more than usual too and could she actually see his pulse in his neck? What was going on?  
“Catch, are you alright?”  
“Y-yeah, y-yeah”  
“Are you sure?”  
“J-Jen… ehm…”  
“Catch…”  
“Just give me a few seconds, please. I want to ask you something and I need to do it now.”  
“Are you breaking up with me?”  
“N-no, no, of course not. How could you think that?”  
“You are acting weird.”  
“That is because I am trying to ask you something I don’t ask of you every day.”  
“What is it? Catch, you are starting to scare me.”

Catcher cleared his throat and reached for his pocket again and got something out.

“Jen, I think I already know your initial reaction when I ask you what I want to ask you, but I am going to do it anyway. I know you still think it is way too early and that you probably think I am doing this for the wrong reasons, but please know that I am doing this because I love you and I have loved you for a very long time now…. Baby, please do me the honour of becoming my wife…”  
As Catcher said the last words, he opened his hand and in it was the small black velvet box he had hidden in his apartment for all these months.

In the background Stacey answered loudly “YES! Catch, yes she will…does that count, answering for someone else?” she asked Joe.  
“Catch, please don’t do this.” Yet Jenna could not help herself and open the little box in Catcher’s hands. In it she found the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. The ring was silver with a stone in it. As she looked again, she could see little scratches on the silver however. It looked as if this was a very old ring.   
“Catch…”  
“I know you only think I came up with this after we found out we were pregnant, but that is not true, love. Do you remember my mother visiting a few months ago? She gave me this ring; this is her own engagement ring my father gave to her when he proposed to her. I have been hiding it in a closet at my apartment ever since and it have been the hardest months of my life knowing I had this ring in my possession yet I knew I could not propose to you yet. I know you don’t agree right now, but I _do_ think the time is right, right now. Even if we have only been together for a few months, I know this is right. “  
“But…I…. But… I don’t know what to say.”  
“Just say yes, that is all I am hoping for.”  
“But it’s so soon. We have only been together for 6 months.”  
“So? Nancy and I had been together 6 minutes when I proposed, so in a way I think that this is a big improvement.”  
“I don’t want to get married because we have to, Catch. You know that.”  
“We don’t _have_ to get married, love. I proposed to you because I _want_ to. I love you Jen and that is all that matters, that is the only reason why I proposed to you. This baby is only a bonus, I promise you this.”  
“When?”  
“Whenever you want to, love. I would be so proud to see you walk down that isle with a big belly, but if you want to wait, I will understand and I will wait.” Catcher’s hope was rising. If she was asking questions about a wedding, she had to be thinking about it.  
“Where? How?”  
“Again, that is all up to you. If you want to marry here, I will be the last one to object. But if you want to get married in the city, I will be just as happy. I want _us_ to be happy.”  
“So, we will do this when _we_ want and _how we_ want it?”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“You answer me first, before I answer your question”  
“Yes and yes, now you go…”  
“My parents have no say in this, what so ever? No matter the location or how awful my dress would be?”  
“If you want, I will have them dress up as Laurel and Hardy and make them enjoy every second of it.”  
“And if I want our child to be born before we get married?”  
“Then we will wait until the baby is born…”  
“There is one more thing I do not understand. You just said that you could not propose to me yet. You said it a few minutes before you _actually_ proposed even. What happened in those few minutes that made you change your mind?”  
“If I was to ask that one question, I wanted to have that ring with me to show to you I am not joking. Especially since we found out about the baby I have been thinking about it a lot, but I have always been too scared to, because I knew you would react this way. Your mother, without knowing it herself, actually helped me that last step to go ahead with it anyway. While your mother was talking to you about marriage, I kept thinking ‘why don’t we, why don’t we?’ and in the end you heard me ask it out loud. Please, love. Please say yes and marry me.”  
“If we were to….”  
“Sheesh, Jen. Make up your mind. Don’t leave him hanging. Were you also like this when Carson proposed? Are you really going to make him suffer for a day or a week? How hard is it to answer a simple question?” Stacey was rubbing her belly hard, as if the baby was to blame.  
“No… I-I mean, no I will not keep you waiting at all, I will give you my answer now…”  
“Then _what_ is it?”  
“Stace, shut up!” Joe mingled in.  
“Love?” Catcher said with hopeful eyes.  
“I would love to marry you and be your wife…”

“THANK GOODNESS!!! Now if you will excuse Joe and me, we need to go to the hospital, my water broke 15 minutes ago and my contractions are only 6 minutes apart.”  
“WHAT???” Jenna and Joe screamed in unison  
“What? You actually think I was going to walk out of this house, knowing this issue was not solved yet? Besides, if you look at it, it is all Jenna’s fault. If only she had answered Catcher the minute he actually asked her, I could have practically been at the hospital already.”


	46. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Taylor has dreamt of true love all her life, but believed it would never happen to her. Untill she literally runs into the man she believes she has no chance with, but is that really so?

**Epilogue**

Jenna woke up in the bed she had slept in all through her teenage years. When she noticed her alarm clock, she saw she still had a few minutes left before the alarm was to go off. Automatically her hands went to her now 8 months pregnant belly and she softly whispered:  
“today is it, little one. Today your mummy and daddy will finally officially become a family. You don’t mind too much that we weren’t married yet when we made you, right? I thought not. What do you think daddy is doing right now? I bet he is still asleep, lucky bastard. In a few minutes grandma will come in here and wake us up. Now I have to warn you that she will try to make sure everything will go fine today. That will mean she will be everywhere we will be. She will try to guide us through the day in her own way. Don’t you worry about her too much, though. Everything is perfectly planned and mummy is still in charge of everything.”

Right then, Jenna’s alarm clock went off and within 5 seconds Maggie was at the door to make sure Jenna was actually awake. Jenna and Maggie had made up over the months, but Jenna never gave in to Maggie’s requests to move back until the wedding. In fact, Jenna had officially moved in with Catcher and when she told her parents about it she even asked them to help her move her stuff. John walked out of the living room more than once when Jenna asked for their help. All the while refusing to help or acknowledge what was really happening. But in the end he and Maggie did visit the new home of their daughter.

“What time is Stacey coming over, dear?” Maggie asked, pretending not to know that Stacey was due to arrive in 8 minutes.  
“In a few, mum. Relax, she will be here in time.”  
“I know she will, but we do have to move as soon as she gets here. It is quite a drive and with one very pregnant bride and one maid of honor who needs to take care of the bridesmaid, we will certainly need all the time we can get.”  
“We have plenty of time mum. I calculated at least 10 more trips to the bathroom before we leave.”  
“Is your dress ready, dear?”  
“Yes, mum”  
“Shoes?”  
“yes, mum”  
“Rings?”  
“YES, mum”  
“I am just doing a last check, dear.”  
“Everything is ready, all you need to do now is to sit down, drink your coffee and enjoy your daughter get married.”  
“Now that is easier said than done.”  
“It doesn’t have to be. I promised you that we would take care of everything. We will leave at 11.00 and arrive at the lake at noon. Catcher will already be waiting for me there. All that needs to be done then is say ‘I do’. That should not be too hard.”  
“I know, dear. Are you still happy about the small wedding? Are you really sure you didn’t want a big one?”  
“No, mum. I promise this is exactly what we both want. Besides, it’s a bit too late now to regret not inviting more people.”  
“If you want, I can call most people right now and have them at the lake in time.”  
“No thanks, mum. And if you look at it, the wedding is not too small anyway. All my brothers are there, their wives too and their children. Hoyt and his family are going to be there and also his mother is here. At least 50 people are there to witness our vows, I don’t really call that a small wedding, to be very honest.”

“Well, does the bride have cold feet yet?” Stacey walked in, carrying her little girl Jennifer.   
“ _Cold_ feet? Sweetie, with this heat, my feet are burning up, they are the size of Texas and even if I ever thought of running out of _this_ wedding, the swelling would stop me immediately. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Jenna, dear” Maggie asked as Nina was rolling curlers in her hair “you never told me why you wanted to get married at the lake. I was so certain that you two were going to get married in the city.”  
“We have special memories there. When we first started thinking about where we could get married we just looked at each other and we both knew.”  
“Why the special memories, Jen?” Stacey asked mischievously.  
“He told me he loved me there.” And that was true, he did say he loved her at the lake, so she wasn’t lying. Both Jenna and Stacey now had a hard time not falling over from laughing so hard. No one understood what was going on and Nina whisked it away as ‘Jenna-and-Stacey-language’.

As they finished their hair and make-up, the time came to make that drive up to the lake. Jenna started to grow nervous now. She remembered her last drive towards her wedding ceremony and that did not end the way everyone had thought it would. Today however she was more certain than anything that she would be the one to say ‘I do’ instead of anyone else. During the drive she kept rubbing her belly, thinking about the future with the little one inside of her.

Catcher and Jenna had agreed upon Jenna working two days a week. Catcher would watch over the baby one of the days Jenna was at work and the other day the daycare center at _Now!_ Would look after it. Nancy had no problem with her working less and she even gave Jenna her old job back; the mailroom. Jenna had loved that job so much and she was very happy to accept. She knew a few improvements had to be made, as the woman who took over from Jenna when she was supposed to get married for the first time made a mess of things.

Maggie had not been happy at all when Jenna told her she was keeping her job for two days in the week, but Jenna told her there was no discussion. She wanted to keep her job, even if it was for only 2 days a week. ‘Besides’ she had said ‘This way, Catcher also gets some quality time with the baby’.

As they arrived at the lake, Jenna noticed everyone had already arrived. Though she could not see Catcher yet. How come? Where was he? He didn’t have second doubts, did he? What was she going to do if he really did not show up? Was she going to raise the baby on her own?

“Jenna! Snap out of it. Don’t worry, he is here!”  
“H-how did you know I was thinking of that?”  
“Because 1; I know you, remember? 2; You were looking around frantically and 3; I see Joe over there and he promised me he would not go anywhere Catcher didn’t go. So, he is here. Just relax now and enjoy today.”

~

“Are you ready?” Stacey asked Jenna as they were about to walk down the isle.  
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”  
“I know you are going to be happy, Jen. You’ve found what you have always been looking for; true love. You did not settle for less… well, you almost did, but you came to your senses.”  
“You have always supported me, no matter what I did. You were the only one who understood me. You truly are the best friend anyone could have.”  
“We are not going soft now all of a sudden, are we?”  
“You started it.”  
“That’s true. Now get your big fat body moving, you have an isle to walk down and 2 words to say…”  
“Thanks, Stace….”  
“GO!!! I love you too…”

John took Jenna’s arm and slowly walked the way up to the altar where Catcher was waiting for her. Catcher had not seen Jenna yet. Joe made sure of that.

As Jenna and her father came closer to Catcher, Catcher finally found a way to turn around and look at his bride for the first time and the view he saw literally took his breath away. He had never seen Jenna more beautiful in his life and that said a lot. She wore a beautiful pregnant gown and her curled hair was down and hung over her shoulders. She carried a small bouquet of flowers that grew around the lake and had one put in her hair.

“Who gives this woman away?”  
“I do” John answered with more nerves than he would ever admit he had.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in matrimony. If there is anyone here who feels these two should not be joined in marriage I ask you to please speak now or forever hold you silence.”

Jenna never looked around, she only had eyes for the man she was about to marry. She knew no one would object anyway. Everyone they had invited was there to witness them get married, not to see if Jenna was making another mistake of her life.

“Do you, Catcher Block, take this woman, Jenna Taylor, to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health? For richer, for poorer? Through good times and bad? Until death do you part?”  
“I do!” Was Catcher’s reply, giving Jenna a naughty wink, as if to warn her what was finally legally going to happen tonight…. That was Catcher alright…

“And do you, Jenna Taylor, take this man, Catcher Block, to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health? For richer, for poorer? Through good times and bad? Until death do you part?”

“I do!!”

 **THE END**


End file.
